Chapter Text
"No one likes me much," Donghyuck said quietly, leaning back in his seat as he looked around the lunch hall. It was almost empty and had only a few people there. Donghyuck glanced to his left, staring at the blonde who stared back in confusion. "They say I'm annoying, or a little brat. I'm fine with that, because it is what I am," Donghyuck picked up a chip from his plate and held it to his mouth. "It's a good thing you can't speak Korean."
The boy opposite him, Mark tilted his head to the side, blinking in confusion because the only thing he understood from that sentence was 'good' and 'korean', since those were the words the teachers used most around him. Mark was a new student at their school. He spoke fluent English with a Canadian accent and practically everyone was in love with him. There was only one reason as to why Mark was forced to have lunch alone. He couldn't speak Korean.
When people would try to converse with him, he would try his best to translate what they were saying, but he was never good with languages. He barely passed French in school, how was he supposed to learn a language in a month?
"It's cute," Donghyuck mumbled, chewing the chip slowly and kept his eyes trained on Mark. "Even when I'm saying stupid and sad things like how everyone hates me," Donghyuck smiled sweetly and Mark followed. "You just copy my facial expression. It's a good thing I laugh when I say I hate myself," Donghyuck brought a hand to his face and chuckled; Mark was quick to follow.
"Lesson?" Mark asked, using one of the few words he had learnt when the bell rang. Donghyuck nodded and stood up, letting out a sigh as he realised he had to return to class, where his friends were. "Bye-bye."
Donghyuck waved bye to Mark before taking baby steps towards his class. Since no one had the patience to converse with Mark, or even assist him in learning the language, he used to sit alone. Sure, he was cute and sounded even better when speaking English, it was hard to talk to him. That was, until Donghyuck decided to ditch his friends and have lunch with Mark. His friends — Jaemin, Jeno and Renjun — didn't hate Mark or find his inability to speak Korean a pain, but they just simply preferred to not sit with him. The three were known for liking to blend in with the crowd (which was difficult because of their dyed hair) and despite their popularity, they managed to avoid being the talk of the school for quite some time.
The door to Donghyuck's classroom opened and Renjun stepped out, a little surprised by Donghyuck who had been standing in front of the door.
"Were you with Mark again?" Renjun asked, stepping aside to allow Donghyuck to enter.
"Yeah. He's not bad, you guys, give him a chance," Donghyuck repeated the same words he had been saying for the past few weeks and took a seat beside Jaemin. "He's cute."
"That's all you care about," Jeno rolled his eyes and laughed when Donghyuck pushed him away. "Mark seems cool, but I'd rather leave the English subject in lessons and not try to talk to him."
"I can speak English," Renjun boasted before returning to the matter at hand. "But Mark seems like the type who wouldn't say much."
"Hm," Donghyuck closed his eyes and thought back to all the lunches he had spent with Mark. From what he remembered, Renjun was right. Mark barely ever spoke. He just sat there and listened to Donghyuck as he spoke about his own problems. A little selfish, don't you think, Donghyuck?
The teacher entered the class and the four quickly sat up in their seats. The lesson began but Donghyuck's mind wandered elsewhere. Why didn't Mark ever speak to him?
-
"I wish you would speak to me," Donghyuck said, dropping down onto his usual seat and eyed Mark. "Even if you were to speak in English, I would be fine."
"What?" Mark asked and Donghyuck thanked the fact that he also knew a few words of English.
"Speak...in...English," Donghyuck gulped down the lump in his throat as he waited for Mark's response to his broken English. Instead of laughing at him, like everyone would've done, Mark nodded and shot him a large smile.
"I'll speak in English, then," Mark poked his fork into his potato. "And you won't be able to understand, so that means I can say anything." Donghyuck slowly nodded his head so that he could see if his agreement gave a positive or negative reaction. Mark smiled at his action and immediately burst out into a rant about how tired he was. "I nearly fell asleep in maths, but I sit at the front and I'm pretty sure the teacher already hates me so I couldn't. Next time, I'm gonna rush to get the seats at the back."
Donghyuck nodded along to what Mark said and felt better than before. He wasn't selfish, right? Mark just didn't know that he was fine with him speaking English.
"You look cute today, but then again you look cute all the time," Mark stared at Donghyuck straight in the eyes, expecting some sort of response but all Donghyuck did was nod again. Mark chuckled at it and let out a sigh. "You really don't understand me. I can see why you enjoy speaking in Korean."
-
Jaemin tilted his head to the side and whispered something into Jeno's ear, which caused the brunette to burst into small giggles. Donghyuck watched as Jeno then repeated the same action to Renjun, and Renjun copied how Jeno had reacted. He waited for Renjun to tell him the joke, but it never came. Donghyuck tapped his pen against the table, his eyes shifting from Jeno to Jaemin to Renjun and then back. They kept whispering things between each other and Donghyuck didn't understand what they found funny.
What if they were laughing at him? There was a strong possibility that they were. Donghyuck was meant to be the clown of their group, the one who made all the jokes and always kept up a smile. Obviously, being the loud one had its downfalls. No one took him seriously. No one thought there was anything wrong — and there wasn't, just making that clear. Another problem was that Donghyuck knew they spoke about him behind his back, and he was so sure it wasn't completely good things.
Renjun had once told him about how he had a fight with Jeno and Jaemin. It was because of Donghyuck. Renjun had told them that he was going to be in Donghyuck's group for one of their projects, but the other two wanted him to be with them. The maximum a group could've had was four, and the minimum amount was two. The two didn't want to have Donghyuck in their group, but Renjun didn't agree with them (honestly, Donghyuck would've agreed with Jeno and Jaemin — he was an absolute nuisance and never actually contributed to the project — because he knows why they don't like him).
At the end, Donghyuck joined the group and they finished their project. Miraculously, they managed to achieve an A for it. Donghyuck knows it wasn't because of him.
"Hey," Donghyuck nudged Renjun as they left their class and began to walk to their next one. "What were you and the other two talking about?"
"Ah, that? It was nothing," Renjun answered but his face said something else. It was clearly something because the trio kept glancing at each other and nearly laughed their heads off.
"I mean, it seems like it is something," Donghyuck grumbled but it came out a lot harsher than he had planned for it to be.
"Woah, dude, calm down," Jeno scoffed and put a hand in front of Donghyuck. "It was literally nothing."
"If it was nothing, you guys wouldn't be acting so weird about it," Donghyuck took a step forward and frowned at them. He didn't understand why they were getting so defensive. If it was an inside joke, they could just tell him that. Although they were all best friends and used to share everything with each other, Jeno, Jaemin and Renjun always seemed to have their own little secrets.
"Donghyuck, there are just some things that we can't discuss with you," Jeno rolled his eyes and his hand crept towards Jaemin's. "Just forget about it."
"Why can't you?" Donghyuck pressed. He knew he shouldn't be asking, everyone has their own secrets, but he felt angry. Was he not trustworthy?
"Because we can't."
"Do you not trust me?" Donghyuck asked, his heart beating faster when Renjun shot the other two a look, a warning. He was only overthinking before when he questioned their faith in his trust, but did they really not trust him? Even after the last few years of being friends, they didn't?
"Do you really think we don't trust you?" Jaemin tapped his shoulder and Donghyuck took a step back. The trio had an intimidating aura around them and Donghyuck wondered what it was that he said that was so wrong.
"I didn't say that—"
"But you meant it," Jaemin huffed and took ahold of Renjun's hand. "See you around, Donghyuck."
Jaemin made a motion to leave but Donghyuck was quick to grab his arm.
"Nana, I'm sorry," Donghyuck hurriedly said and waited for a response. Jaemin remained still for a few seconds, staring straight ahead with his eyes fixed on the door across the hallway. Jaemin's grip on Renjun's hand tightened before he shrugged Donghyuck off and rushed away. Jeno was quick to follow him and they left Donghyuck alone in the empty hallway.
Donghyuck watched as their backs disappeared around the corner and he felt his breath get punched out of his chest. He messed up, didn't he? Surely he had done something wrong to make them annoyed. They never fought with him but they did make it clear they only tolerated him because of Renjun, the only one who ever made an attempt to keep the friendship up and going. Since Donghyuck had become friends with all of them first and then stringed them together, they probably felt pity towards him and allowed him to join them.
It made sense. It made complete sense. They didn't like Donghyuck, but that wasn't a big deal. Donghyuck didn't like himself either.
-
"Why are you sitting here today?" Mark asked, confused as to why Donghyuck had decided to join him during Friday lunch even though he had made it clear that he would spend that time with his other friends.
"Just...because," Donghyuck shrugged his shoulder and slumped into his chair. The three had been avoiding him. They stopped talking in their group chat, they barely ever spared him a glance and Donghyuck had spent the entire day trying his best to start up a conversation, but it was blown down within seconds.
"Talk? If you want?" Mark suggested and Donghyuck smiled at him weakly.
"Well for starters," Donghyuck cleared his throat and plastered one of his fake smiles. They always managed to fool Mark and that was more than enough for him. "I'm pretty sure I have no friends left," Donghyuck chuckled and oddly, Mark didn't. "I'm surprised they didn't leave me earlier...probably felt bad. We only have a year of school left anyways, they must've thought they could tolerate me till then."
Mark frowned and put his hand on Donghyuck's arm, it was meant to be a sign of comfort but Donghyuck ignored it and continued to talk.
"They were whispering together in class," Donghyuck played with his fingers, his tongue darting out to wet his bottom lip and he could feel his eyes stinging. He couldn't cry in front of Mark, his facade would drop. "I asked them what they were talking about and they brushed me off, probably wasn't even anything important, I don't know why I was forcing them to tell me what it was. Jaemin got annoyed and he uhm," Donghyuck raised his hand to scratch his head (it was actually to somehow rub his eyes and get rid of the tears that were ready to fall). "He just left—they all left. They left me."
"Donghyuck," Mark whispered, patting the younger's head.
"They all hate me," Donghyuck breathed out, allowing the tears to fall and he lowered his head even further. "No one likes me. I know I'm annoying, loud— I know. I make stupid jokes, I act stupid. I fail in my classes, I play games all day. I know there's a lot wrong with me, but I didn't expect them to leave me. They were my only friends, the only people I could talk to and act that way in front of. They hate me, they do and I can understand why. I can understand. Because just like them, I hate myself—"
Before Donghyuck could say anything else, Mark grabbed his shoulders and pulled him straight towards him, pushing aside the tray of food on the table. Donghyuck's head pressed against Mark's chest and a hand came to hold him in place. Fingers brushed through his hair and his eyes fluttered close, his heart beat fastening as he listened to Mark's.
"Donghyuck," Mark repeated, softer than before. "They don't hate you."
"Huh?" Donghyuck's eyes snapped open and he tried to pull away, but Mark's hand on his neck kept him in place. "You understand Korean?"
"I may have lived in Canada, but that didn't mean I didn't speak in Korean to my family," Mark chuckled at Donghyuck's confusion, his hand returning to caress his head softly. "I didn't want to socialise with anyone so I never spoke in Korean, but you seemed to continue talking to me."
"Oh," so I was annoying you as well, Donghyuck thought, feeling his heart drop and his stomach twist. So not only had he been annoying his friends, he had been annoying the transfer student as well. Could Donghyuck ever give anyone a break? He immediately made a move to pull away again, but failed the second time.
"No, Donghyuck. You weren't annoying me. I liked your company," Mark dismissed the idea calmly, his other hand that was resting on Donghyuck's arm came around his waist and pulled him closer, almost making the younger fall off his chair. "Your friends don't hate you, no one hates you."
"They do!" Donghyuck whined, his hands coming up to hold onto Mark's shirt, his grip tightening as he spoke. "Why else would they be avoiding me? I crossed the line and that was the end of it for them."
"Have you spoken to them?" Mark pulled away from the hug, a little conscious of the stares he was getting.
"I tried, but they push me away every time," Donghyuck kept his head low, quickly wiping away his tears.
"Then let's go speak to them right now!" Mark stood up abruptly, his knee barely passing past Donghyuck's chin. He held a hand out to Donghyuck, who stared at it in confusion. "Come on! Let's go!"
"Okay, okay," Donghyuck stuttered nervously, taking Mark's hand and was jerked onto his feet before they both ran out of the hall, ignoring the calls on the dinner ladies telling them to put their food away.
-
"Donghyuck?...Mark?" Jeno put his book down and looked up at the two in surprise. Mark bent down to put his hands on his knees and he groaned in annoyance.
"I haven't done sports in a month and I'm already out of shape," Mark panted, wiping away the swear that formed on his neck.
"He speaks?" Jeno shrieked in shock, his chair sliding against the floor as he pushed himself away from Mark. A scoff left Mark and he nodded.
"Of course I speak, anyways, I'm not here to talk about myself," Mark grabbed Donghyuck's arm and led him to Jeno, quickly pushing him into a seat and took the chair beside him. "We need to talk about you and Donghyuck."
"Oh, yeah," Jeno cleared his throat awkwardly and picked his book up again, playing with the edges of the pages. "Should I call Jaemin and Renjun?"
"If you can, that'll be great," Mark smiled at him, slowly creeping his hand towards Donghyuck, softly placing it on the younger's knee and squeezing it to reassure him. It felt nice. Donghyuck felt nice.