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Sydney already knows Eli Cardale well enough, thank you very much.
He’s an asshole with the face of a pretty boy, and if Sydney hates anything in this world, it’s deceptive people.
And her dad’s ex is as deceptive as they come.
If Victor ever hears Sydney call him her dad, he would probably disappear off the face of the earth for a good month, so she keeps the relationship title to herself. But somewhere between the events of Victor picking her up from the street and protecting her from some local thugs, she started to feel safe with him.
And she knows that it wasn’t a one sided thing either. Sydney may only be thirteen, but she has a sixth sense when it comes to seeing the good in people; Victor Vale’s moral compass might be more broken than others, but it was there. He cares in his own way, and even though he doesn’t say it, he has his little ways of showing it, of showing that little kindling of light.
Granted, Sydney doesn’t see any of that in Eli Cardale.
Victor never explained how he and Eli first got together, only that they were roommates in college. Something happened with some girl they both were friends with and they didn’t speak to each other after that. Years went by before they said a word to one another, and it only happened because they accidentally met again at some science conference.
Sydney doesn’t know how far back and how deep their relationship goes, but she was made aware of its irregular nature early on during her stay at Victor and Mitch’s apartment. Eli would come by under the guise of some useless errand, stay a while, and then he and Victor would go off and, “Do their own thing,” as Mitch put it. When Sydney would ask him to elaborate, he’d sputter and say they’re doing “adult stuff”.
At this point, Sydney knows exactly what “adult stuff” means.
But then Victor would get frustrated with Eli, or Eli would get “too busy”. Then he wouldn’t show up at the apartment for long periods of time, and Victor would be in a dark mood for a few days. Sydney and Mitch always gave him space when that happened, but Victor always managed to right himself again and carry on with his life.
And then the cycle would begin again a few weeks or months later --- with Eli showing up out of the blue --- and they’d get back to whatever weird agreement they have.
At this point Sydney can confidently say that she hates Eli’s guts. He can be condescending, brash, and cruel, and even though she’s aware that Victor can act the same way, he’s never like that to her .
Upon their first meeting, Eli jokingly asked Victor if he’d “found her abandoned on the side of the road”, and at that point Sydney still had not come to terms with her new arrangement. The comment hit too close to home, and since then Eli and Sydney have been on a downward spiral.
Eli never made the effort to get to know her, which was completely fine in her eyes, and the more he and Victor got together and subsequently broke up, the less she wanted him to.
Until Victor caught on.
“Something needs to change with you and Sydney.”
Eli and Victor were four days into Attempt Number Seven, and they were lounging on the couch, each with a glass of some maple-colored alcoholic drink in their hand. Sydney just came back from walking Dol, and she was taking off her boots to enter the apartment when she heard her name. The window next to the front door of the apartment was open, so she quieted her movements and gently shushed Dol so she could eavesdrop on the conversation.
“What does she have to do with this?” Eli asked. She didn’t dare look at him through the screen of the window for fear of being caught, but she could imagine the same distaste that colored his tone was also projected onto his face.
“If you want this to work.” Victor didn’t elaborate.
“She hates me.”
“Yeah, but she’s been living here for a while so her opinions matter.”
That was as close as Sydney was going to get to a confession from Victor, so she smiled despite herself.
She was getting cold and decided to make her presence known by entering the apartment. Dol followed her in and ran to their bedroom while Sydney hung up her coat. She tried to school her face into a mask of innocence but let it slip when she caught Eli holding Victor’s hand. A natural scowl overtook her facade.
“Cardale,” she muttered.
“Syd,” he replied sarcastically, a mocking look in his eyes.
Her hackles rose. “You don’t get to call me that.”
Eli opened his mouth but Victor interjected. “Eli, why don’t you take Sydney out.” He said this without taking his eyes off Sydney, and she suddenly felt like she needed to think very carefully about her next few moves.
His mouth clamped shut. “What?”
“You heard me.”
Sydney frowned and Eli started to panic. “We’re spending time together now,” he said in a rush, as if he could see the conversation slipping through his fingers.
“You can surrender a few hours with me to get to know Sydney better,” Victor said, effectively shutting the conversation down with his signature no-nonsense tone.
And that is how Sydney ended up in the backyard of some abandoned church, lips freezing and in the company of her enemy.
She watches Eli as he traipses among the gravestones, his back to her and a content smile on his face.
Once Sydney put her red coat on again and Eli donned his layers after a lot of grumbling, they left the apartment and went down the street. Because of their height difference, she had to run to keep up with his stride, and she asked him multiple times where they were headed. He elected to ignore all her questions and she gave up, slinking behind him to stare daggers at the back of his head.
They walked for ten minutes before they stopped in front of an old church. The windows were boarded up and the white paint peeled off the wood planks of the building. The structure seemed out of place compared to the refurbished, suburban brick houses around it, and Sydney felt a chill go down her spine as Eli headed towards the building.
She followed him.
He still didn’t say anything, even when he took a detour to end up in the back garden. The cobblestones on the floor that surrounded a central fountain were cracked and covered in dead foliage, and the gravestones beyond them lay in a small stretch of grass, the area fenced off. The site was no more than a dead, glorified courtyard, and Sydney wondered if Eli had led her to this place to kill her.
She knows that he wants to be here even less than she does, but his mood seems to have improved as he walks around. It isn’t until she takes a seat on a cast iron bench that she decides to speak up again. “I thought we were going to do something fun .”
“This is fun,” Eli says, his back still to her. “This is my favorite place.”
“Okayyy,” she drags out the word, “But what are we going to do?”
He turns just enough so she can see him roll his eyes, and Sydney’s annoyance comes rushing back. “We’re going to sit here and enjoy the scenery.”
Sydney can’t tell if he’s being serious or not. “Why don’t we play a game or something?”
“If you’re going to say 20 Questions, I suggest keeping that idea to yourself.”
She narrows her eyes and watches as he takes a seat at the lip of the fountain. “I thought Victor wanted us to get to know each other better.”
Eli sighs and throws his head back. “Victor wants a lot of things. Doesn’t mean he’s going to get them.”
Sydney realizes he’s talking about something else now, and even though she doesn’t know what that thing is, she doesn’t like the way he says it. She gets up off the bench and heads back to the small gate they entered through.
“Where are you going?” He calls out after her, indignation in his voice. “We just got here.”
“Away from you.”
By the time she walks to the church’s front yard, Eli has already caught up to her. She can tell that his mood has soured, and if she didn’t feel so angry she would have felt smug at eliciting a reaction like that out of him. They spend the rest of the walk back to the apartment in silence --- Eli furiously texting on his phone and Sydney shedding off the rest of her irritation, leaving a slow-simmering resentment in its place.
When they get back to the apartment, Victor is waiting for them at the front door. If Sydney had any doubts about who Eli was texting, those went away when she noticed the other man’s presence. He leans against the doorframe wearing his signature black coat, a blue scarf, and an unreadable expression on his face.
Sydney goes to pass him, ready to put this day behind her, when he reaches out to place a hand on her head. The action makes her pause and look up.
They hold eyes for a while, and Sydney tries to push down her animosity for Eli so Victor doesn’t catch it in her gaze.
Another beat, then a flash of something flickers behind his eyes before Sydney could catch it. Whatever passed softened his features the slightest bit, a move so small she wouldn’t have noticed if they hadn’t spent so much time around each other.
Victor breaks their stare and walks the rest of the way out of the apartment to Eli --- the latter’s face rife with impatience -- before shutting the door behind him, leaving Sydney in the living room alone.
* * * * *
Victor asks Sydney if she wants to get some hot chocolate from her favorite coffee shop while she’s sitting on the kitchen island finishing up some homework.
She did not know that Victor meant with Eli .
Her dad’s boyfriend shows up half an hour later. He wears a black puffer jacket and dark jeans, hair perfectly combed as if the wind deliberately left it alone in its perfect form.
Eli seems to be in a much better mood than when she left him a few days earlier, and Sydney secretly vows to fix that as soon as they’re alone.
“I told Eli where you get your hot chocolate since last time you went to his favorite spot,” Victor says. The emphasis isn’t lost on Sydney, and she’s sure that he and Eli had a talk after they left her in the apartment.
She looks from him to the man standing inside the doorway, and she stares Eli right in the eye when she says, “I’m bringing Dol.” It’s an indirect challenge just to spite him, because she knows that Eli has an aversion to dogs.
He doesn’t flinch, but he gives her a close-lipped smile in acquiescence.
* * * * *
Once she’s settled with her cup of cocoa, Dol sitting at her feet under the table, she inspects Eli as he takes a seat and reclines back in the chair. The sounds of the shop around them are muted by the rain that started pouring outside as soon as they walked in, and Sydney wishes she could stare out of the window for the rest of the time that they’re here.
Eli takes a sip of his coffee, one arm thrown behind the back of the chair. His posture is relaxed, but like her, he seems at a loss for words. His eyes keep flickering to the tail that peeks out under the table.
Sydney takes a sip just so she can do something other than sit in silence and nearly burns off her tongue in the process. She grimaces but still warms her hands around the paper cup. After a beat she fidgets in her chair and sneaks a glance at Eli, who has a slight frown on his face and a faraway look in his eyes.
This is so awkward.
“How’s school?”
Sydney nearly jumps in her seat, but she sits up straighter at the question. “It’s good,” she answers, but her eyebrows lift at the question. “Most of my classes are pretty boring though.”
“What are you taking?” The words sound disjointed and uncomfortable coming out of Eli’s mouth, and he shifts in his seat and clears his throat to hide this.
She blinks at him, then stares at her hands, following the movement of her fingers as they rub along the surface of the coffee cup. “Uh, algebra, English, biology, and ceramics.”
“Biology, huh? Do you like it?” He stretches out the last sentence, as if he is unsure if he should ask.
Why? Why are you asking me these questions? Why are you faking it?
Nodding her head, Sydney pushes those thoughts away. She can tell that he is trying to be nice for Victor’s sake, so she relents a little. “Yeah it’s not bad. The human body is cool and all-” she looks down at Dol, “-but I'm more interested in animals than humans.”
Eli makes a humming noise in his throat, then flicks his head up. “You want to be a vet?”
That gives her pause, so she takes her time drinking from her cup and swallowing; she actually never thought of that. She shrugs. “I don’t know. I like learning about their behavior and how they live, especially since they’re not like us and have different body systems depending on the animal.”
“You sound like Victor.”
She looks up at the tone of his voice. The way he said Victor’s name, so fond and full of warmth, makes a small, brittle part of her thaw in her chest. Although she doesn’t like Eli, he obviously has some feelings toward Victor, and even though she’s still suspicious of his motives it loosens a breath from Sydney’s body.
For the first time ever she grants him the barest of smiles, and they go back to sipping their drinks in the silence.
* * * * *
Sydney is in her room, playing with one of those new handheld gaming devices that Mitch got her, when she hears a thump from somewhere inside the house.
Dol lifts his head from where he is relaxing on his doggy bed, ears pricked. They are supposed alone in the apartment, Mitch at the gym and Victor god knows where, so Sydney sits still in the quiet until she hears the thump again.
Slowly she creeps off the bed and looks for something to use to defend herself. She tiptoes to the lava lamp on her drawers, and she throws a glance over her shoulder to make sure that Dol is following her. Surprisingly his head is back on his paws, completely at ease.
After hearing the thump one more time, Sydney cracks the door open and sticks her head out, listening for anything that could give her a hint as to who is inside the house. She hears commotion coming from the living room area, so she brandishes her lava lamp tighter and slips through her door to hide around the hallway corner.
She can’t tell what’s going on, but things are moving around and the air feels displaced by human movement. Taking a deep breath, Sydney presses her back against the wall to gather her courage before she flies around the corner, lava lamp at the ready.
Now she wishes it is an actual burglar.
Victor has Eli against the kitchen island, lips locked and hands roaming his body. A gasp comes out of Eli’s mouth before he half-stumbles and half-maneuvers them to the living room couch, legs and feet bumping the furniture. Both of them are too absorbed in their activity --- Eli’s knee against the cushions while he looms over Victor --- before Sydney squeaks and they spring apart.
Eli wipes his mouth before turning away, cursing under his breath.
This is the first time Sydney sees Victor so unkempt: his eyes are a little bit droopy, hair mussed, and lips a vivid shade of pink. He shakes himself out of his stupor and sits up correctly from his former awkward position. “Ah, Sydney.” He runs his hands across his button-up shirt, as if that would disguise the new wrinkles. “I didn’t know you were home.”
For the most part Victor looks unabashed, but his cheeks are tinted red and he won’t look Sydney completely in the eye. Between the time she looks over at Eli, who has his back to her as he hunches over the kitchen island, taking deep breaths through his nose, and when she looks over again at Victor, the latter has a pillow across his lap.
“Um,” Sydney mumbles, releasing her tight grip on the lava lamp. “I was-,” she abruptly stops and scrambles to find an excuse, “-going to the pet store. Uh, Dol ran out of treats.”
“Actually, since you’re both here,” Victor directs the statement to her and Eli, “Why don’t you head out together?”
Sydney coughs. “Don’t you want to...continue?”
Now Victor does flush for real, and Eli makes high-pitched noise in his throat. “No, no,” Victor says, discomforted. “This’ll be good for your friendship.”
Sydney would hardly call this a friendship , and she’s sure that Eli thinks the same, but he doesn’t comment on it as he frantically opens the front door and starts a fast-paced walk down the street, not even looking behind him to make sure that she has followed.
* * * * *
“Do dogs know the difference between fat-free and regular treats?” Sydney asks.
She’s squatting in an aisle of the small pet store, reading the labels of the colorful plastic bags. Dol is wagging his tail beside her, tongue lolling out. After Eli’s mad dash down out of the apartment, Sydney quickly went back to put on her shoes and call for Dol. She couldn’t even look at Victor as she passed him on her way out, and he didn’t say anything to her either.
“I don’t know,” Eli says, arms crossed. He seems to be over the earlier fiasco, and he’s back to his regular, unpleasant self. “Are they even smart enough to tell apart tastes?”
Sydney frowns and flips over another packet, skimming the ingredients. “Wheat gluten is something we should avoid, right?”
Eli makes a big show of sighing dramatically, but he crouches down next to her. “You’re useless,” he mutters, but there’s no heat behind it.
She watches him as he reads over the ingredient lists of several products, and she feels her face relax. Even though he makes it seem like he’d rather be anywhere but there and he’s scared of Dol in the first place, he’s taking the time to help her. She has to repress a smile from spreading across her cheeks.
Dol presses his nose against Eli’s hand, and he jumps away to land on the floor. Sydney smirks as her dog nudges Eli’s hand with his nose, and although his brows are furrowed, Eli caves in and scratches Dol behind his ear. Before he knows it, Dol is licking his face, and Eli is chuckling while trying to gently push him away.
* * * * *
Today marks the longest streak that Eli and Victor have been together without breaking up. For months Sydney thought they’d get close to it again, but nothing has happened that was big enough to separate the couple. They had a few arguments here and there, but they stuck through it. It feels like the first time to Sydney that Victor and Eli are actually going to make their relationship work .
She’s scarfing down a funnel cake, chin coated in powdered sugar and fingers sticky with chocolate sauce. Eli fares no better: his mouth is full of fried dough and he somehow wiped some of the sugar onto his cheek.
He throws down his napkin after wiping his face. “We’re not going to finish this whole thing.”
“Don’t be so negative, Cardale.”
“It’s practically the size of your face.”
She attempts to dislodge more of the treat from the paper plate on the table in front of them. “You better keep eating because I’m pretty sure I saw a booth for some corn dogs that looked longer than my arm, and I’m not leaving before I try that .” As an afterthought, she adds, “You’re paying,” before stuffing her herself with more funnel cake.
Eli pulls a face. He stretches on the wooden seat and pats his stomach, letting the sounds of the amusement park around them fill in the space.
After Sydney polishes off the rest, she looks up to find Eli staring at her as if he’s on the verge of a question. “What’s up?”
He tilts his head and peers at her. “How did you end up on the street anyway?”
A crease forms between Sydney’s eyebrows. “You mean Victor didn’t tell you?”
Eli shakes his head. “He said it wasn’t something he was at liberty to say, and if I was so curious then I should ask you.”
The comfort of Victor’s response is short-lived, and Sydney taps her fingers on the table to form her thoughts together. “I’m sure you know how Victor found me, yeah?” At Eli’s nod, Sydney continues, “I was basically living in between these two dumpsters in a random alley, because the space was small enough for me to hide in without being seen.” She pushes the empty plate in front of her to the side. “My parents have never been around. It was always me and my older sister, but she went off to college at the start of the school year. I was basically living by myself.
“On my thirteenth birthday, my parents came home from wherever they traveled to. Greece? Italy? I can’t remember, but they got back, dropped off their luggage in the house, and then took off somewhere again. I didn’t even realize what happened until I heard the door slam shut behind them.”
Sydney hugged herself around the stomach and bit her lip. “That made me realize that I was truly on my own, forgotten. Serena was gone and never called. My own parents didn’t even say one word to me, let alone acknowledged that I was there. It was like I was a ghost haunting my own house.
“So I decided that I was better living on my own terms. I couldn’t stand to be in that cage any longer; I didn’t even think, just packed away some clothes and as much food and water as I could carry. I survived three weeks on my own before Victor found me. And that’s why-,” she looks Eli right in the eye, and says with as much conviction as she can, “-I owe him everything .”
She doesn’t know what Eli will say, but she holds his gaze until he breaks it to run his hand through his hair. “What did you do when you ran out of food?”
Sydney stares at him, too timid to reply. When he makes no move to take back the question, she says, “I’d walk into a restaurant behind a random family, hide out in the bathrooms, and then slide into a booth and sit alone for a bit before I hunted down the waiter and said that I don’t know where my family went but they’d promise to come back.”
Eli’s eyebrows go up. “And that worked?”
She shrugged. “A few times. I’d cry, they’d feed me, and I’d slip out when they went to go call the cops.”
At this, as if almost against his better judgement, Eli starts to laugh. He covers his mouth with his hand and turns away, but there’s no hiding the mirth in his eyes. “I’m sorry, but that’s just genius.”
Sydney relaxes, but before she can do or say anything else, Eli is up and already walking away. “Come on,” he yells over his shoulder. “We’re going on the rollercoaster.”
* * * * *
It turns out that Eli Cardale is not good with rollercoasters.
Once they get off, Sydney’s voice is shot from shrieking with joy for the entirety of the ride and Eli has his head between his knees. She can’t help but snicker at his predicament, and after he’s less pale they head over to the gaming area.
They do rock, paper, scissors to see who gets to pick the first activity, and Sydney wins best two out of three and chooses the balloon dart game. She gets one and Eli’s smug when he gets all three, so he picks a stuffed frog as his prize.
“Is that for your boyfriend?” Sydney asks.
Eli gives her a horrified look. “What? Are you kidding? This is for me!”
And so it becomes a bet to see who can get the most prizes by the end of the day. Eli wins the bottle toss, Sydney picks the correct fish in the fish pond, and Eli crushes her at the basketball shootout.
Their last game consists of shooting down targets with a toy water gun, and Sydney gives him the side-eye when they walk up to it. “You see that humongous shark?” She points to it. “I’m already claiming that for Victor.”
Eli glowers at her, but there’s amusement behind it. “If anything I’m going to win that for him, and he’s going to be so happy that at the end of the day, he’s going to be giving me a prize.”
Sydney gapes and then sprays the water gun at his face. He makes a whine of disapproval before they start, grumbling about keeping his hair intact.
During the round, Sydney screeches at Eli when he shoves his hand in her face to throw her off, and she doesn’t stop shouting that he cheated as they’re walking away --- Eli’s hands full with the shark.
“It’s not about cheating. It’s about who played the game the best,” he says with faux-seriousness, the stoic expression on his face breaking when Sydney chases him back to the car.
* * * * *
Sydney and Mitch are playing Uno on the floor of her room when they hear yelling coming from inside the house.
The apartment isn’t that big, but the words are muffled behind her closed door. Mitch pauses before he’s about to put down a green reverse card and squints as if that’s going to allow him to hear the conversation better.
When it’s obvious that this isn’t one of Victor and Eli’s regular fights, they both stand up and open the door to Sydney’s room just a bit, enough for them to eavesdrop on what they’re saying.
“You’re fucking lying to me.”
“Why would I lie about this?” A pause. “I’m sorry but I can’t help but feel the way I feel.”
“Then say it,” exclaims Victor with dismay. “Look me in the eyes and say it to me.”
Eli sighs, and Sydney hears some shuffling coming from the living room. “You want it? Here it is: I’m still in love with Angie.”
At this, Sydney’s head shoots up, almost hitting Mitch in the chin from where he is standing over her. She locks eyes with him, heart stopped in her chest.
There’s silence on Victor’s end, and Sydney doesn’t know how to breathe anymore. She can’t tell if the buzzing is coming from somewhere in her head or outside her body.
“You knew this was coming sometime,” says Eli, disdain in his tone.
“Don’t give me that bullshit,” spits out Victor, his voice at a higher pitch than Eli’s. “You’re only saying that because you want out.”
Eli laughs humorlessly, and Sydney feels a chill go down her spine at the indifference in the sound. “I do want out. So I can be with her.” There’s more movement. “This whole thing was a mistake from the very start, from the very first time we got together to the last time we broke up. None of this should have happened.”
“Stop talking,” thunders Victor. “Stop fucking talking.”
“I don’t know what to say when I pray to God,” Eli admits. “I went to church and stayed there for hours , just sitting in silence. I don’t know what to do anymore.”
“Nice to know that you’ve been ashamed of our relationship this whole time, Eliot.”
Sydney feels ice crawling its way through her whole body, and she has to physically hold back a sound by biting her hand. She’s so frozen with dread that she almost misses Victor say, “You’re a fucking coward. You’re not in love with her, you’re in love with me .”
The pure, unadulterated pain in his voice breaks her. She’s about to run out there when Mitch puts a hand on her shoulder, shaking his head once. The stony expression on his face freezes her in place, but she knows it's because he’s reacting to the fight too.
“Am I though?” Eli questions nonchalantly. “Then why haven’t I ever said it to you?”
Because you’re afraid. Sydney thinks. You’re afraid of how attached you’re becoming and it’s killing you.
Before Victor can reply, Mitch is striding out the door. Sydney’s brain catches up with her legs when she follows him, and she’s seconds away from throwing herself on Mitch’s back to make sure he doesn’t do anything stupid.
When Sydney skids to a halt once she runs into the living room, she takes in the scene in front of her: Eli and Victor are a few feet apart. The former has his arms crossed, chin tilted up with a sneer on his face, and the latter’s hands are clenched into fists at his side. Victor’s eyes are red, but there’s no way that he’s crying because Victor never cries .
Mitch moves to put himself between Eli and Victor’s standoff. He sticks his face right in front of Eli’s, and Sydney’s convinced that he’s restraining himself from punching the shorter man. “You need to leave. Right fucking now.”
Eli gives him a bored look, lips pursed. After a second he pushes past Mitch and heads for the door, not even sparing a glance back at Victor, who’s staring at the floor, unmoving. The air is tense with the remnants of the fight and the glower that Mitch is throwing Eli’s way, but it’s like he doesn’t feel it as he strides out into the cool evening air. The apartment is filled with unnerving silence after his exit, and the space between the remaining individuals feels empty and vast.
Sydney is unsure of what to do. Blood is still hammering throughout her body, and she thinks that if she lets herself go then she can rush away in the current with it. She hears Mitch call Victor’s name, but it sounds like it’s coming from some place underwater. The slam of Victor’s bedroom door is what centers her again, and by then Mitch already has a hand to his temple and his eyes shut.
* * * * *
There’s part of Sydney that wonders if this is for the best. That she was right about Eli all along, and she should have stuck to the idea of him that she had built up in her head.
But as the days go by, it’s obvious that Victor is not reacting the way he normally does after their usual breakups. Normally, he leaves the house for a few hours a day to be by himself, and there's limited contact between him and the other house members. But with this break up, this one that is so divergent from the others, he’s never sober. Sydney always finds him lounging on the couch with a bottle filled with amber liquid as he stares off into space. She can’t remember the last time she saw him move from that spot on the sofa, and she’s sure that the clothes he’s wearing are the same ones he had on the day of the breakup ten days ago.
When he does talk, usually to make a snide comment at Mitch, his words are slurred but his eyes are always crystal clear, as if one part of him can’t seem to let go of the control he has over his own consciousness. And those are the moments that sadden her most, because his eyes are lucid enough to reflect the grief that she knows he’s feeling in his heart no matter how hard he tries to hide it.
As she stares at Victor like this, who is currently taking a marker to one of his parents’ self-help books on relationships and striking random black lines through it, Sydney feels that same dislike for Eli festering within her.
The worst part is that she can’t even find it within herself to hate him even when she tries to force herself to. She’ll never forgive him for hurting Victor, the one person who upended and transformed Sydney’s miserable and lonely existence, but there are times when the memories come unbidden. Eli, pushing her hand away when she went to pay for Dol’s dog treats so he can do it himself. Eli, who didn’t pity her for the events of her past. Eli, who ended up giving her the shark he won from their last carnival game together.
So when she steps back into her room to get the image of Victor out of her face and sees the plushed gift where she left it on her desk, she decides that if Eli thinks he can get away with this, with leaving a mark on both her and Victor’s lives, then he’s a lot stupider than she thought.
* * * * *
The first and most evident place to check for Eli should be his house, but Sydney has no clue where he lives and there’s no way she can get an answer from either Mitch or Victor. She also has no clue about his schedule, so it’s a guessing game as to where he is.
But there’s one place he doesn’t fail to visit. It’s his favorite, after all.
The abandoned churchyard hasn’t changed since Sydney's last visit with Eli. The structure is still as neglected as ever, but now the ominous aura that was present last time is muted. She doesn’t know if it’s because she’s on a mission now or if she’s just used to dark situations.
Mud clings to her boots as she makes her way to the back, hoping with all that’s left in her that her hunch is correct. The gate creaks open from the force of her weight against it, and as soon as she moves in she stops in her tracks.
Eli kneels on the deteriorated cobblestone walkway, head bowed with his hands on the edge of the cracked and dried fountain. He doesn’t notice her until she puts a hand on his shoulder, and he abruptly looks up.
His eyes are bloodshot, and at her stare he turns away to hide his face by his shoulder. Sydney hears him sniffle once, twice, before smoothly rising to his feet and turning to face her fully.
“I know you’re here to punish me,” he says in a monotone way.
“It crossed my mind,” Sydney whispers, “but I already know that whatever I say doesn’t compare to the way you’re punishing yourself.”
His shoulders sag when he’s made aware that she’s not going to physically hit him. “You must be happy now that I’m out of the picture.”
She hesitates before speaking, unsure of how much to reveal. “Even though I didn’t like you in the beginning, I didn’t want this to happen.” She swallows, then steels herself. “What happened that day wasn’t fair to Victor, because you weren’t being honest to yourself.” Her eyes cut into his as she glares at him. “This isn’t about whoever Angie is, or God, or whatever other being there is or isn’t in this world; This is about you being too scared to admit that at one point, you realized that you were a part of the picture too.”
The only sounds in the air are from the cawing of crows in the distance. Eli looks like he’s been slapped, mouth hanging open and body leaned away from her. At some point during her speech, Sydney had crowded his space, and now the lack of distance between them is stifling.
She’s wondering if Eli is going to yell at her or deny any of her accusations, but to her shock he sways on his feet before dropping again to his knees. His face is in his hands again, hiding his expression from her, but when he makes no move to let up, Sydney places a hand on his shoulder and waits.
* * * * *
When they get back to the apartment, it’s Mitch who answers the door. He takes one look at Sydney’s company before throwing a glance over his shoulder and shutting the door behind him, effectively leaving all three of them out on the welcome mat.
Mitch points at Eli’s face and opens his mouth, but when the other man cowers and moves behind Sydney, he drops it with a frown. His eyes hold a question for the small girl, and she tries to convey back that she’ll answer his inquiries later. Their staring contest lasts a minute before Mitch sighs aloud and heads back inside without a word --- Sydney and Eli at his heels.
It takes Victor a second to notice who’s in the living room before he shoots up from the couch, but no doubt he’s still drunk and he topples over the arm of it. After straightening himself out and adjusting his shirt, he peers at Eli over Sydney’s shoulder, as if he’s trying to distinguish if the picture in front of him is real or imaginary.
Slowly, Eli makes his way over to him. Victor is rooted in his spot, but his inebriated self is still too drunk to be dealing with this right now. As if realizing this, Eli grabs Victor’s arm and throws it over his shoulder, allowing the other man to lean against him as they walk towards the front door. Mitch makes a move to stop them, but Sydney gently holds him back.
Before they cross the threshold, Eli gives her one last look over his shoulder. It’s filled with something laced with gratitude and a touch of torment, but it’s one that Sydney has no doubt will get cleared away with time to leave something solid and constant in its place.
Eli still has a lot of issues he needs to deal with, first and foremost finding a way to take back what he said and make it up to Victor. But as the dying light of the day envelopes both men’s silhouettes, Sydney knows that there’s no more changing the picture this time.