Work Text:
She was laughing because of some dumb jokes he told her. Her eyes lit up so bright I’m comparing them to Times Square. Her hand was gripping his arm and he looked at her with so much adoration in his eyes. Ally sat next to me, she was saying something but my eyes and mind went off when I heard her laughter. I realized Ally was looking at her too with so much sympathy.
I clenched my jaw and I put on my earphones. I turned the volumes up to cover the sound of her laughter. I closed my eyes to calm myself only to have someone poked me. I took out one earphone. It was Normani.
“Let’s go to bed. It’s late.”
I nodded and glanced to the couch she was sitting.
“They left.”
“They?”
She gave me a small smile and handed me my bag. I sighed and followed her to our room. On our way back I saw her with him standing outside her room. She was still laughing over something that he said. He wasn't funny to me but to her it seems like he’s a fucking comedian.
I stared at her a little too long that she noticed it. Her eyes turned to me and she bit her lips. I decided to stay a little bit and told Normani to go without me. She didn't asked anything when she saw where my eyes were.
“Stay safe.” Was her last word before she left.
‘Can we talk?’
I sent that text to her. I saw her looking down at her phone and looking up at me for few seconds but she didn't reply anything. I stayed for little longer until I saw him kissing her cheek. I walked away from the scene and went down to the pool.
I was staring at the water when someone told me I couldn't stay here because they’re closing. I told the waitress that I’ll leave in a few seconds, I just need fresh air. She left me and went back to her work. I noticed something shiny on the table she was cleaning.
Bottles of champagne.
I looked at the waitress. She went inside, carrying dirty plates. There was no one else. I walked towards the table and took one with me. They have plenty, they wouldn’t notice anyways. I put it inside my bag.
Normani was taking a bath when I arrived at our room. I slowly put down my bag on the bed, trying to not make any noises.
“Mani?” I yelled.
“Yeah?!” she turned off the water.
“Nothing, just letting you know I’m here.”
“Okay!” she turned it back on and continued her song.
I popped open the bottle and chugged. I cringed at the first sip.
“Fuck, this is strong.”
I put it on the bedside table to take out my phone.
‘Camz.’
‘Hey.’
‘Please reply.’
I waited for the reply. I shuffled my playlists and kept sipping the champagne in between. I made the stupidest decision of looking through my camera roll. The first picture was a picture of both of us. I was kissing the underside of her jaw and she was laughing at the camera. The photo was shaky but it was probably my favorite photo of us. A notification told me that she recently just tweeted. She was thanking the fans and telling them that she had great time. So she’s not asleep, I thought. She’s just ignoring me.
I took another sip and let it burned with my heart.
‘I want to talk. Come on. Please.’
‘Camila.’
‘I miss you.’
‘Fcuk imish yoiu babe’
My eyes were getting blurry. My heart was pumping really fast now. Fuck, my hands were shaking but I needed more sip.
‘Rmember when we kiessde undre teh tree adn I gave yiu hickey’
‘ersdfajweAD’
“Holy shit, Lauren! What the fuck are you doing?” I cringed at the yelling. I put up my hand and closed my eyes. I put one finger over my lips and waved her around.
“If they know you’re drunk, you’re dead. I’m dead. I ain't going to deal with this shit.” She said before taking the bottle from my hand. I reached for her but she distanced herself from me, causing me to fall down the floor.
“Give me!” I yelled back.
“You can’t be like this. This is not going to change anything. She’s with him!” I felt my blood boiling and I stood up in front of her, pinning her on the wall. My legs were shaky but I pressed my palm on the wall to stable myself.
“Shut up. Don’t you dare fucking say that. She’s not with him.” Normani pushed me to bed.
“I’m calling Dinah and Ally.”
“No. No! Call Camila. Tell her to come here. I want to talk.”
She shook her head and dialed her phone. I didn't hear what she was saying because she went to the bathroom. She took the bottle with her.
Fuck.
I heard the door opened few minutes after. I immediately stood up only to fall back down, tripping over my own foot. Dinah caught me before my head hit the wall.
“Oh no. Don’t tell me she’s drunk.”
“I can’t.” I heard Normani replied. Dinah pushed my body to the bed.
“Lauren.” Ally called my name. I was looking for someone else. A brunette, younger and taller.
“Lauren. Look at me.” She tilted my head to face her.
“Why are you doing this? Hey, this is not like you. This is not how you handle things, Lauren.” I shook my head and pushed them away. I almost tripped once again but I managed to stable myself.
“Camila.” I called for her.
“Camila!” I called, louder.
I struggled with the door but I successfully made out.
“Lauren!” three voices yelled my name, running after me.
“Camz.” I yelled for her name instead, eyes searching for her room although my eyes were blurry.
I had to use the wall to walk. I bumped into a table and caused the vase to fall down. Thank God the carpet was thick. Someone caught my wrist and turned me around.
“Don’t. Lauren, stop.” Dinah ordered when I tried to let go. “You’re a mess right now. You don’t want her to see you like this. Sober up, we’ll ask her to talk to you later.” Ally said, rubbing my cheek.
“Maybe if she sees me like this, she’ll take me back.”
“This is Camila we’re talking about. Ally’s right, she wouldn't want to see you like this. This is not a way to prove anything. Let’s go to bed.”
“I’ll talk to Camila. I promise you I’ll convince her to talk to you.” Dinah added.
I looked at them. They all were genuinely concerned but I don’t need this. I need her. So I closed my eyes, took a deep breath and sprinted to her room with my wobbly legs. They stopped chasing me and calling my name.
I arrived at her door, out of breath. I sat down on the floor, my body leaning against the wall beside her room. I waited until I heard a click.
“Camila.” I whispered. My eyes were half shut. I was so tired but I made it this far. I stood up and took her hands.
“Camila.”
“Camila, I love you so much. I need you. I’m sorry for not being brave enough. They kept telling me you’re with him. That’s not true, right? I know you still love me. I can see it in your eyes… Right? Tell me I’m right.”
She avoided looking at me but her grip on my arms tightened.
“I’m still in love with you.” I whispered, hugging her.
“I’m so fucking in love with you it hurts. I hate seeing you with him.”
I can feel the tears on my shoulder. She buried her face deeper into my neck, her arms around them.
“I love you.” I said.
I pulled from the embrace and stroked her cheeks.
“Say something.”
I heard footsteps coming closer to us. She looked behind me for few seconds before turning her eyes back on me.
“Say something, Camz. Please.”
Instead she held my face with both hands and kissed my mouth. It was rough and she slowed down when I kissed back. I guess she could taste the alcohol. I caressed her face and moved my hand to the back of her neck, gently tugging her hair just like she liked it. I was about to open my mouth but she pushed me slowly and she sent me a small smile. She nodded to someone behind me and a hand took me away from her.
“Let’s go.” Normani whispered.
“Camila?” I turned to her. She was looking at me, mouth opening and shut. She bit her lips and when Dinah came in; she took one last looked at me and turned around before Dinah closed the door.
I wanted words but all I heard was nothing.
I got nothing.