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Four weeks sounded a lot less time than it actually felt, each second that passed a torment for Callum. It was bad enough that he and Ben had to be apart, but the strict regime when they did see each other made any kind of intimacy impossible. Callum didn’t want to hold Ben in case other people saw, not due to shame but rather because that could put the man he loved at risk; that was the last thing that Callum wanted to do. Subtly he let his hand rest on top of Ben’s, and his boyfriend smiled at, glancing around for prying eyes before bringing Callum’s hand to his lips and kissing it softly.
“How much time do we have?” Ben asked, louder than necessary. His hearing aid was playing up again. Callum sighed. The prison had promised that they would sort that, but Callum wasn’t holding his breath. He would have to call again to complain; Ben was mostly defenceless without it.
“Not enough.” Callum spoke slow and clear, trying to smile even though the tears threatened. There was only three months of Ben’s sentence left now. He could do this. He had to.
Ben flinched at that, and Callum felt an immediate pang of guilt. He never wanted to make his boyfriend feel bad, not when he was already at one of the lowest points of his life. Mistakes had been made, and now all Callum could do was support the man he loved, even if that was difficult sometimes. Their moral compasses pointed in different directions, but Callum didn’t believe that Ben was a bad person. He had seen Ben’s heart, each and every beautiful inch, and it had confirmed what Callum had already known; he loved Ben with every broke piece of himself, and a prison sentence wasn’t going to change that.
“I’m sorry.” Ben exhaled heavily, holding back emotions for fear of showing weakness in such a harsh and unforgiving environment. Callum saw the bruises which lined Ben’s wrists; the purple circles around his eyes, and he felt sick. There was nothing left for Callum to say. Ben had already suffered enough.
Without thinking, Callum reached forward and brought Ben into his arms, not caring what other people said. Soon enough, the man he loved would be home, safe. These moments would no longer be fleeting; they didn’t ever have to let go of each other again.
A guard came and placed a hand on Callum’s shoulder, warning him to let go. He did so reluctantly, holding Ben’s gaze until he settled back into the hard plastic chair. Neither of them spared a glance at the guard, only having eyes for each other. Callum took Ben’s hand again and squeezed.
“I know, and it’s okay.” Callum took a long, steadying breath. “It’s okay because I love you.”
Ben nodded, bottom lip caught between his teeth. Callum didn’t expect to hear the words back; Ben showed his affection in other ways, and that was fine for them both. It was enough.
The clock struck, an alarm buzzed, and Callum pleaded with every feasible deity to turn back the time and give him just one more extra minute with the man he so dearly loved. But there was no such luck, and offering Ben one last fleeting smile Callum was escorted from the room. Before the sunlight outside hit his eyes, Callum was already counting down the minutes until he would be able to see Ben again.