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She's sitting down at a booth in JJ’s Diner for some waffles when she sees him.
He's shaking hands with JJ himself, looking very presentable, Leslie can’t help but note. The dress shirt, the skinny tie, his hair done nicely, that smile on his face that… doesn't quite reach his eyes, until he catches her staring at him.
“Ben Wyatt,” she says in almost a dream-like tone, standing up to greet him. They crash into each other almost instantly, wrapping each other in a bone-crushing hug. His arms fit perfectly around her waist, his head burying in her hair.
“Leslie Knope,” he responds against her shoulder, and she feels she might cry just hearing him say her name again. “God, I was hoping I would catch you here soon, I know how much you love this place.”
She’s already wiping tears from her eyes, pulling away from Ben to playfully punch his arm. “Oh my god, why didn't you tell me you were coming to visit Pawnee?!”
“I wanted to surprise you,” he grins, but a moment later looks nervous, down at his feet in an awkward shuffle. “And… I'm not exactly visiting. I'm actually moving back here. Permanently.”
For a second, she wonders if she didn't hear him correctly. But when he doesn't bust out laughing or yell ‘psyche!’ she can only assume he means it. Her eyes widen almost comically, and she hits his shoulder again. “WHAT?” she screams, and several heads turn in their direction. “Hold up, hold on. Why? It's only our second year of college, Ben, what about school in Partridge? Graduation?”
Ben shrugs, and this time completely avoids looking back into her eyes. “Partridge… didn't work out. They don't like me there.”
She resists the urge to grab his face, so settles instead for gripping his hands, which he takes gratefully. “Oh my god, Ben, what happened?”
He shakes his head, and she can tell this is a genuinely painful topic for him to discuss. “I was an idiot. I ran for Student Council president last year, as a freshman of all things, and it was going well for a while. But this year, I don't know, spirits were low, I wanted to get together a sort of field trip to this winter sports complex. It completely fell through, budget wise. I lost my seat and everywhere I went, they called me Ice Clown. Even outside of the school, for whatever reason…” he trails off, the story seeming to have taken a lot of energy out of him. “Anyway, it doesn't matter. I left Partridge for Pawnee and I'm never going back again. I actually just landed a job here as a waiter, that's what I was talking to JJ about. It'll help me get back on my feet.”
As much as it thrills Leslie that Ben is back in Pawnee AND working at her absolute favorite establishment ever (that second bit was particularly hot), another thought seems to sink into her mind. She grips Ben’s hands tighter, rubbing her thumb along the skin of his wrist, and looks down as he starts to shake. Or, maybe she’s the one shaking.
“Why didn't you tell me?” she whispers, the pain of this getting to her, a little bit. “Texted, called? I could've helped you.”
Ben only shrugs, his voice breaking a little. “I didn't think you wanted to hear from me. I don't know. I was… scared.”
She can't get mad at him, not when she essentially did the exact same thing. When Leslie and Ben went off to college, their time dwindled away. Whereas before they would make sure to set a time to video call every night, those turned to regular calls, which soon turned to text messages, which eventually turned to a hurried message every once in a while with promises to talk soon but no follow up. Leslie had assumed, by that point, Ben had better things to do than talk to her, that there was no room left in his life for her. It seems like Ben has thought the exact same thing.
“I was too,” she whispers, and he knows her so well that that's all she has to say, he sees the story in her eyes without her having to tell it. “I'm sorry.”
“Don't be. I know how you can make it up to me, though,” he says, and he brings her hand up so he can gently press his lips to her knuckles, making her blush. “Remember when we were little kids and we used to sit by the Pawnee River until sunset?”
She remembers this very well. She was eight years old and sitting next to him by the river when she decided she had a crush on Ben Wyatt that, to this day, still has never really gone away.
“Let's go there. It's a couple hours til sunset, and all I want in the world right now is time to catch up with my favorite girl.”
Leslie laughs, and pulls him by the hand out of the diner.
Leslie and Ben sit cross legged in the grass next to the river, and for a moment, all they can do is stare at their intertwined hands— they haven't let go of each other since Ben arrived.
“I'm sorry,” he says suddenly, and his hand in hers tightens.
“What do you have to be sorry for?”
He shrugs. “I shouldn't have left Pawnee in the first place. I'd be better off if I stayed here, went to Indiana University with you.”
Leslie frowns, leaning in to him. “Hey, I'm the one that convinced you to go. I thought it would be good for you.”
“You're always looking out for me,” he laughs. “I really admire that about you, you know. The way you help other people, how you put others first, even if it hurts you. I've been selfish, and I wish I was more like you.”
Leslie shakes her head. She doesn't feel particularly selfless or good, she hasn't since high school. College has proved to be a very lonely experience, where she's shut down any signs of friendships and focused only on her schoolwork, her major in politics, her internship that she started at the Parks and Recreation department. The only person she's been talking to is Ann Perkins, and even then they aren't as close as they used to be, and that kills Leslie.
“Don't say that,” she finally says. “I'm… selfish. I've been drowning out everyone and everything and only focusing on what I want. It's like I don't even know how to have a meaningful relationship anymore.” This coming from the girl who used to say friends and waffles were more important than work. Where the hell did that girl go? Lately it's turned into work, then waffles, then friends at dead last.
Ben bites down gently on his bottom lip, not responding to Leslie’s self-deprecation. He doesn't need to, she knows what he's thinking. When he takes his hand out of hers, however, for a moment she's terrified that he’ll walk away. But instead, his arm slides over her shoulders, tugging her into his side. She fits perfectly next to him, like they're made to hold each other. “You have no idea how much I missed you,” he says, and his voice is low, breaking. “You're still the same Leslie Knope I wanted to kiss when we were eight.”
Her eyes light up. “At eight? No way! I remember being eight and sitting in this exact spot with you and wanting to kiss you, but knowing my parents would kill me.”
Ben gets this look in his eyes, one that she's seen many times before, but is almost deeper now, more sincere. “And now we're twenty. And we're sitting in the same spot. And we don't have to worry about curfew or getting grounded by our parents.”
Leslie laughs. “Just essays and exams and… an incredible and earth shattering fear of making myself vulnerable to another person!”
He rolls his eyes, leaning in closer to her. She can see the slight stubble on his cheeks, how good that looks on him, and wonders how it might feel against her skin. “See? Still the same Leslie Knope, incredibly honest to the end of time.” He takes a deep breath, and it is shaky. “I wanted to run something by you.”
“You know how much I love it when people run things by me.”
He chuckles, and she feels it on her neck. A shiver runs down her spine. “I'm transferring to Indiana University for this upcoming semester and the next two years. And I want to be reckless, Leslie. I was way too careful for too much of my life, and I can't take it anymore.”
She swallows hard. “What is it that you want to do?”
“I want to be with you.” He says it easily, but with a tiny gasp, as if he’s been holding these words in for years and they've finally forced their way out. “Maybe it's too soon, because we haven't talked much lately, and I just got back today. But I've liked you since we were eight years old. I wanted to kiss you on our graduation day and I want to kiss you now. I know we’re both young and figuring out school and our careers and everything is… so confusing. But I want for you to be my constant. I want to figure out life with you, Leslie, one step at a time, if you'll let me.”
Her tears come halfway through his speech. His fingers gently wipe them away as he has so many times before, pressing his lips to her cheeks where the tears existed. She knows he wants to, but he waits until her tiny, almost unnoticeable nod, before his lips brush hers in a kiss so gentle that her heart flutters and leaves her wanting more.
Leslie presses her lips against Ben’s more firmly, holding his face in her hands, while his fingers curl into her hair. Suddenly, work doesn't matter quite so much, she isn't nearly so terrified of her exam coming up or her big final essay. It's as if she's been waiting for so long for something and not knowing what, and now that Ben is kissing her, there is clarity, and the water looks a little cleaner, the sky a little brighter, the world a little kinder.
She decides she’s willing to take any risk for Ben.
Life is easier with Ben Wyatt by her side.
His dorm room isn't too far from hers. Not that it matters much, because they're always in each other's rooms regardless. Life becomes stolen kisses while he helps her with math, ties on doors and praying the roommates don't come back at night, cuddles on twin beds, and stealing each other's things. Leslie has essentially infiltrated Ben’s dorm room and an entire drawer by his bedside, and Leslie has his sweaters in her closet and her favorite item to steal, his Letters to Cleo tshirt.
He kisses her when she's frustrated over her homework, she cuddles into his side when he's thinking too hard about Partridge. They both do a lot of work. He is a master with numbers and king of accounting, and she is determined and ambitious to climb the ranks in the Parks and Rec department. He brings her waffles after long shifts at JJ’s Diner and she brings him to the parks for fresh air as they eat and finish up their assignments.
Life is just so close to perfect.
But as always, it gets harder. Leslie struggles to make ends meet when her unpaid internship still has yet to give her a position and help her make some money. Ben tries to help, but he's just waiting tables, he can hardly help himself. They're both losing their grips and their bearings but even so…
Leslie runs out of her dorm room late at night, eager to get some fresh air, tears streaming down her face so quickly she can hardly breathe. She isn't mad at Ben, no, she doesn't think she can ever truly be mad at Ben like this. She's just overwhelmed, and so scared, and she has no money and she just failed a test about foreign affairs when god dammit, politics is supposed to be what she's good at. She can't breathe, and maybe she yelled at Ben and maybe she told him they're kidding themselves, that they’ll never make it in life, that this world is too big and too cruel to take on.
She cries in the courtyard and she's convinced she fucked it up majorly and Ben is never coming back. That she's too crazy, too emotional, and now Ben has seen her true colors and wants nothing to do with her. This is why, she tells herself, that she can't be vulnerable, that she can't fall in love. Whenever she starts to break, the whole thing comes crashing down.
A hand touches her shoulder, and she knows it's Ben before she even turns around.
He holds Leslie to his chest where she cries, running his fingers through her hair, the other keeping a firm and steady hand on the small of her back.
“I'm sorry,” she sobs, “I'm terrible. Don't go.”
He shushes her gently, pressing a kiss to the top of her head. “Never say that about yourself, you're not terrible. And you really think I would go anywhere?”
She looks up at him then, and where she expects his face to have changed into annoyance or even hate, there's none of that. Just affection, just love, as if she's the only person he’s ever cared to look at in his life. “Really?”
“You're still the same Leslie Knope I fell in love with,” he says. “Breakdown or not.”
It takes a moment for his words to sink in. “Wait. Wait, Ben… say that again.”
He knows instantly what she wants, and delivers perfectly. “I love you.”
She’s hearing these words for the first time and already knows she will never get tired of hearing them. “You love me?”
Ben nods, still smiling. “I love you.”
Leslie gasps, and whispers her next words against his lips. “I love you, too.”