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Bakugou was going to kill the two of them.
Why would they think it was a good idea to wake him and his boyfriend up at 2:30 in the morning to go to Walmart was beyond him.
"I'm gonna decapitate your heads and put them on fucking sticks," he grumbled.
Without a beat of hesitation, Kaminari wiggled his eyebrows.
"Kinky."
His eye twitched as Kirishima hopped on the bed making Midoriya go 'oof' almost exactly like the damn roblox sound.
"Well, you see," the red-head started,"Denki and I were watching Pokemon, you know, the one with that sexy ass man, Steven Stone? Anyway, we got to thinking: is he a twink?"
"That's what you woke us up for?"
"Nah, we also need more cheetos."
Bakugou just sighed into his hand. Where these two that fucking stupid? Midoriya already started crawling out of the warm cocoon they wrapped themselves in and went to find a shirt. The guy probably figured they weren't going to leave.
"Did you guys smash? Even if you did cheetos are more important." Kaminari stated, mouthful of poptart.
"We didn't asshole. We would've if you didn't-"
"Kacchan passed out after we watched a couple of episodes of Worst Cooks in America," Deku, the little shit, said after finding a ketchup stained Naruto tee.
"How did that dumbass not know what an onion looked like? It's a fucking onion?" Katsuki asked in disbelief. Deku just patted his shoulder going 'there, there.'
"AY! Let's go!" Kirishima roared. He pulled the blond out of bed and threw him a hoodie that was sitting on his desk. Kirishima wasn't going to live to go see college that was for sure. They all climbed into Bakugou's old, shitty car. His parents must have been dead asleep because they didn't notice the car beeping loudly as Katsuki scrambled to turn it off. The neighbor's dog did, however.
"Yo, pass the AUX cord!" Kaminari yelled, already stealing it from Bakugou.
"You better not play trash."
Kaminari proceeded to blast Cruel Angel's Thesis at max volume for the entire neighborhood to hear. Katsuki was sure that the cops would pull them over. He listened to Kaminari and Kirishima poorly shriek the lyrics and watched as Deku swayed his head back and forth.
Fuckin' weebs.
You're one to talk Katsuki.
They surprisingly made it to the store without getting pulled over or without Kirishima trying to stick his head out the window. Katsuki made sure the idiots walked in front of him so he knew were they were going because last time they somehow wandered off into the baby food aisle.
"Ok, guys, fuck, marry, kill: Shaggy, Bowsette, Walugi." Kirishima said as if that wasn't the weirdest fucking thing to say.
"What the hell kind of question-"
"Uh, marry Walugi, fuck Shaggy and kill Bowsette." Kaminari replied almost immediately.
"Why you gotta do my girl Bowsette like that?" Deku frowned.
"You can't kill Shaggy, Midoriya. He is an un-killable god," Kirishima interjected. Deku just nodded as if he understood it.
What the fuck?
When they got inside, Katsuki could sense the creepy atmosphere of the place. The only people working the registers looked like they were half-dead and the customers all looked like they were on some kind of drug. They passed this one woman that Katsuki could tell did meth. The pair of idiots, as Bakugou liked to call them, made a beeline for the snacks to grab their precious cheetos. Katsuki and Izuku walked slowly behind. Deku started giggling. It was a soft, airy sort of one; genuine and sweet. That always made Katsuki melt.
"What are you laughing about?" Katsuki asked.
"Those two." He smiled "They're really perfect for each other you know? I hope they never change."
Katsuki would have to agree with the last statement. The three have been his best friends for the longest time, and he was kind of sad to part with them. By August, Bakugou would be in the city for college. Which meant that he had to leave all his dumbass friends. Even his boyfriend. He didn't like it, but he wanted to go experience new things. Besides, he would be like, 3 hours away. Kaminari wasn't going to college since he was going to take over his dad's bakery (he might take some online classes for art for all he knew). Kirishima was going to the local college in their town for a teaching degree, and Deku was going to take online classes while he helped his mom run her cafe. She was getting up in years and needed all the help she could get. Her son, who was to damn selfless in Katsuki's opinion, offered to take over for her. Inko refused the idea at first (Katsuki was there when it happened), but he insisted. Besides, their town wasn't terrible. Well, besides the two idiots and those fucking soccer moms. Seriously, those women were brutal.
"I hope you don't change." Katsuki said quietly. Somehow Izuku heard it and grabbed his hand.
"I'm not gonna change at all. I'll be there when you go off and when you graduate. Hell, we all will." He paused."Just remind me to bring tissues when we do go."
Katsuki snorted and slung his arm around his neck. "Crybaby."
"So are you."
"Am not."
"Sure, like you didn't cry the other day over the first 10 minutes to Up."
"Hey! That's different!"
"Sure it is."
Katsuki was about to retort back when they heard a loud 'It's go time, boys,' and saw Kaminari and Kirishima on top of a shopping cart zooming down the aisles.
He swore he felt a vein pop.
They headed towards them and slowed down before Kaminari pulled down sunglasses and went:
"Get in losers, we're going shopping."
Midoriya clambered in next to the two boxes of cheetos, and Bakugou jumped in with his legs hanging out onto the sides. Kaminari held onto the sides as Kirishima started to push. He did a battle cry and yelled "FOR HARAMBE MOTHERFUCKERS!" They zoomed down the front of the store that Katsuki was sure not even Sonic the fucking Hedgehog could catch up with them.
They passed by a soccer mom who was in the craft section looking for things for her son's project, and Katsuki swore time slowed down. Kaminari blew a kiss to her, Izuku waved and Kirishima flipped her off. "YOUR COOKIES ARE SHIT KAREN!" Bakugou couldn't tell whether he should be proud or dissapointed in him for saying that. He went for the first option. They finally stopped in the makeup section because Kaminari, quote: "I want to look like James Charles."
After getting all the useless shit they needed (which consisted of eye shadow, lip gloss, 2 boxes of cheetos and a copy of Shark Tale and Shrek 4), they were on their way. Katsuki looked at his phone. 4:32am, it read. Damn. We should get home. Once again, the boys climbed into the car and started having another useless conversation about if Mario was a top or a bottom. Kirishima grabbed Bakugou's AUX cord this time, and let the ICarly theme song break his speakers.
Katsuki would have turned the radio off if he didn't see the look Deku had on his face.
His nose was scrunched up and his mouth was in a wide teeth-baring smile. God, he was cute. Katsuki was absolutely sure that his face was on fire.
"OwO what's this?" Kaminari yelled over the music.
"Don't you ever say that shit again, you gay-ass furry." Bakugou warned. He doesn't fuck with that shit.
"Ha, gay."
"So are you, idiot."
"You got me there."
The four-band of musketeers parked the car in Bakugou's garage and crept into his house. His parents were still asleep, thank god. Kirishima went into the kitchen and grabbed the carton of apple juice he stuck in Katsuki's fridge 2 months ago. He came back into the living room to find Kaminari putting in the Shark Tale disk and Deku eating from one of the cheeto boxes. "Look what I got." Kirishima proclaimed, setting it down on the table with a thud.
"Ew, I thought I told you to trow that shit out." Katsuki said with disgust.
"Aw, bae. Don't you know by now that I never listen to you?" Kirishima teased. Bakugou just flipped him off.
Shark Tale played in the background as Kaminari started to do Kirishima's makeup while talking to Deku about musicals. Bakugou just watched the three of them and couldn't help but feel happy. He wouldn't want any other group of dorks in the universe. Because they may be annoying and loud, they would be there for him when he was down in the dumps or when he was feeling sour. He was definitely going soft, that's for sure.
He glanced over at the clock on the wall. 5:07am. His parents would be up soon and would be confused why the four boys would be sitting there watching Shark Tale, eating cheetos and doing each others makeup. They would be confused why Kaminari and Kirishima were talking about being Bert and Ernie for Halloween even though it was months away. They would also be concerned that Midoriya would be laughing so hard his stomach hurt and why Katsuki was telling them they should go as the Oncler and the Lorax.
Call, Katsuki sappy as shit, but he wouldn't have it any other way.