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The longest Tine’s been with anyone is six months. But even that one relationship that lasted him half a year wasn’t serious by any means. He was with her mostly because she looked pretty on his Instagram feed and she had an okay personality. Tine basically fell out of love as fast as he fell, and the cycle continued with every person he dated.
Until Sarawat.
He was a different story. Sarawat messed up every preconceived notion Tine had about a perfect relationship, or as perfect as a relationship could be when you’re twenty. Frankly speaking, Tine was terrified. Terrified of what being with Sarawat meant for who he was --- to his friends, his family, and well, to himself.
Who am I? What a Gen-Z thing to say in a world full of chaos.
“Tine, you’ve been spacing out.”
Tine blinked rapidly, looking to his left and seeing Fong staring him curiously. “Sorry. I stayed up late talking to Sarawat.” Tine watched Fong’s face closely for his reaction. He had come out to his friends a few weeks ago but Tine couldn’t help but feel nervous every time he mentioned his boyfriend.
A grin stretched across Fong’s face. “You’re whipped, man.”
“Not as whipped as Sarawat is for his tua woon wai though.” Ohm commented breezily, clicking on Sarawat’s latest IG post and showing his friends.
“Aw! That’s sweet!” Puak pretending to fan himself before breaking out into laughter. It was good laughter, the kind friends reserved for teasing each other.
Tine narrowed his eyes to look at the picture and felt his face warm. It was a screenshot of the last few messages they exchanged over LINE last night, showing a bunch of emojis, good nights, and a selfie Tine sent of himself.
sarawatlism: I hope my tua woon wai had a good night’s sleep.
Sarawat hadn’t posted the video Tine sent him after the last selfie, pouting and saying he didn’t want to go to bed yet. He turned redder at the thought of Sarwat’s fan club seeing him act like a clingy boyfriend. What can Tine say, Sarawat was hard to say goodbye to.
That last thought sent a fleeting thought of sadness through Tine.
“I hope he doesn’t get sick of you too soon, Tine,” Fong teased good-naturedly, “The last time you acted this clingy, you got dumped.”
Tine laughed nervously, his stomach in knots at the thought of Sarawat getting tired of him. “He won’t.”
His three friends looked convinced. Tine wasn’t.
At the next music club meeting, Dim had announced that the school wanted all the clubs to shoot a short promotional video to show at the school festival next month.
“You guys don’t really have do to anything special,” Dim explained, rubbing the back of his head. “The film club is going to come to a few club meetings and performances and take videos of us doing our thing.”
Air rolled her eyes at her partner’s brief explanation. She turned to face her juniors. “Think of it like a documentary. They’ll conduct short interviews and take pictures and videos of you practicing your instruments. Act as you normally would but keep in mind that the video will be shown to visiting students and parents so behave.”
The club members all nodded and whispered excitedly amongst themselves. The project seemed pretty fun, and everyone wanted to get a little bit of screen time so they could share the video on social media.
“It’ll end up being focused on Sarawat anyway,” Dim joked, “Since he’s the most photogenic out of all of us.”
Sarawat ignored Dim’s comment and stared at Tine from across the room. “Tine’s the prettiest.” Tine wanted to melt to the floor in embarrassment. Sometimes Sarawat was just too much for his heart to handle. Sarawat sent him a small smile; Tine couldn’t help but smile back before averting his eyes.
“A few members of the film club are actually here to introduce themselves to all of you.” Air continued, “Come on out, P’s!”
Four boys entered the room from the open door behind Air and Tine’s eyes widened. He was definitely not the prettiest.
“Everyone, this is Khai, Bone, Too, and Third. They’re the crew who will be shooting us.”
Third, the shortest in the group and by far the prettiest guy Tine had ever seen, grinned at Sarawat before giving him a wave. Sarawat’s eyes sparked in recognition and he smiled and waved back. The tallest member, Khai was his name Tine thought, shuffled closer to Third and sent a glare at Sarawat.
What was that about? Tine wondered.
Despite the video being about the music club, the highlight did end up being the campus heartthrob, Sarawat. They followed him to a few of his extracurricular performances, like the gigs he had at L Co Hol with his band. Tine would usually come to a few of Sarawat’s gigs to support the musician but recently his cheerleading club had been having more late-night practices to prepare for a performance at the school festival.
Ugh, Tine thought, I miss hearing Scrubb live. I miss hearing Wat play live. He pouted as he wiped the sweat from his brow.
Practice was over and it was around eight in the evening already.
“Good job today, everyone. We’ll pick up practice on Monday.” The cheer captain announced clapping her hands. “Have a good weekend!”
As everyone bid each other goodbye, Tine decided to change his shirt before walking home. He pulled off his sweaty top and rummaged in his bag for fresh set of clothes. His phone vibrated with an incoming message a few minutes later.
Saraleo: Why are you getting naked in public?
Attached to the message was a picture of Tine pulling off his shirt.
What the fuck? Tine turned around quickly while pulling on a new shirt. He saw a few girls from Sarawat’s fan club by the fence, giggling and talking amongst themselves, phones pointed at Tine. Tine rolled his eyes.
Tine: Your fans are stalkers.
Saraleo: Are you done with practice?
Tine: Yeah, we just finished.
Saraleo: Want to come over and watch my band? We still have a few songs left.
Sarawat sent him a picture of the L Co Hol sign. Tine rolled his aching shoulders and sighed. He wanted to see Sarawat but his entire body was aching for a warm shower and sleep.
Tine: Sorry, Wat. I’m really tired from practice. If you want, you can sleepover at mine’s after your gig.
Saraleo: Deal. See you later, babe.
Tine’s cheeks turned red. He still got butterflies every time Sarawat called him that (or any pet name, if Tine was being honest with himself). Tine sent back a selfie of him smiling and giving a thumbs up.
He pocketed his phone, picked up his bag, and made his way back to the dorm with a smile on his face.
After a long shower, Tine was toweling his hair dry when the Team Sarawat’s Wives chatgroup started blowing up with messages. Tine grabbed his vibrating phone from his desk before throwing his body onto his bed. He pulled up the app and saw the members sending a bunch of fancams of Sarawat playing guitar and singing.
Sarawat is so hot!
Look at him playing guitar ~ I wish I was there!
Tine is so lucky to be his boyfriend. (Tine blushed at that one)
He is!
They are quite cute together, tbh.
Suddenly a new picture was sent to the group followed by a message from the sender.
ALERT: A new competitor is in the house!
It was Third, holding a camera as he stood in front of the stage. The neon lights were shining on his pretty face as he looked intently at the viewfinder. Sarawat was singing into the microphone as he was looking down at Third. It looked like a scene from a movie.
Tine heart started pounding loudly in his chest.
Several messages started filling up the app.
Woah! Who is that pretty boy?
Damn those lips! They should be illegal!
AND HIS SKIN TOO!
I thought Tine was pretty already but damn.
With the way Sarawat’s looking at him, I think Tine might have to tighten his grip on his boyfriend more!
Tine bit his lip and exited the app quickly. With his track record of dating girls on and off, Tine never thought about how it would feel like if Sarawat got sick of him.
It feels fucking horrible.
“You were great tonight, Sarawat!” Third complimented, showing him a few of the clips they shot from L Co Hol.
They were all piled in Third’s tiny car, getting ready to head back to campus. Khai, Bone, and Too were in the backseat while Sarawat was riding shotgun next to Third.
“Thank you, P’.”
“Do I drop you off at your condo?”
Sarawat shook his head embarrassedly. “You can drop me off at the campus dorm.”
Third grinned. “Are you meeting up with Tine?” He teased.
“Who’s Tine?” Khai asked suddenly, leaning forward in his seat.
Sarawat turned his head. “Oh, uhm, he’s my boyfriend.”
Khai seemed relieved at his answer.
“Told you he was taken, Khai.” Third said, pulling the car into the main road. “You didn’t have to act like a jealous brat while we were filming.”
Khai turned red as his friends started snorting in laughter. He roughly elbowed Bone and Too before flashing Sarawat an apologetic smile. “Sorry, nong.”
Third smiled and watched his boyfriend get embarrassed through the rearview mirror.
“No problem, P’. If I was dating Third I would get jealous too.”
Third reached over and pinched Sarawat’s arm. “You’re going to get him more jealous, you idiot.”
Khai pouted. “Why are you so close anyway? Third won’t tell me why you know each other.”
“Should I answer him, P’?” Sarawat asked Third.
“Ugh, can we not go there? I was young and stupid.”
“Third tried to hit on me once,” Sarawat said with a smirk. “I was fresh out of high school too.”
“What?!” Khai, Bone, and Too shouted simultaneously. Third suddenly slammed the car brakes in surprise. It was a good thing they were already parking in front of Tine’s dorm building.
“Shit, guys!” Third complained, “Don’t do that when somebody is driving!”
Khai looked betrayed. “You tried to hit on Sarawat? When?”
“It was a moment of weakness. I was drunk,” Third muttered, cheeks turning pink. He turned to Sarawat. “You traitor, we promised never to talk about this!”
“Wait, I know about this.” Too said calmly, trying to remember the few times Third got drunk off his ass. “Sarawat was the guy from the bar?!” Bone added, laughing.
Sarawat let out a laugh. “Yes, that was me. Sadly, my heart was already taken. Although P’ looked really cute while he was crying over Khai being an idiot.”
If it was even possible, Khai’s pout got even bigger.
Third was so red as he tried to push Sarawat out of his car. “Get out, get out!”
Sarawat grinned and waved at his seniors goodbye before Third could kick him.
Sarawat let himself into Tine’s room with his spare key and was prepared to greet his boyfriend who would usually be awake waiting for him.
The room was quiet and the lights were off.
“Tine?” Sarawat felt the wall for the light switch and flipped it on.
Sarawat’s eyes wandered over Tine’s sleeping form on the bed. His hair was damp and he was curled on his side, phone in hand, snoring lightly. Sarawat smiled and leaned over, brushing Tine’s hair back from his face and kissing his cheek softly.
My tua woon wai.
Tine’s eyes fluttered open slowly. “Wat?”
Sarawat reached over and turned on the bedside lamp and was surprised at Tine’s puffy, red rimmed eyes. “What’s wrong?” He sat down on the bed and rubbed Tine’s cheek with one hand, dropping the rest of his things on the floor.
Tine looked embarrassed and averted his gaze. “I’m fine. Just…tired from practice.”
“You look like you’ve been crying.” Sarawat said bluntly. “Tell me what’s wrong. Please, Tine.”
Tine’s phone started buzzing. The app was still open and Tine tried to quickly close it but Sarawat had already seen the influx of pictures of him and Third from L Co Hol flooding the thread.
“Sorry, I ---” Tine stuttered.
“Is this about Third?”
Tine bit his lip and remained silent. Sarawat sighed and pulled Tine into his arms. “Tine, I don’t like him that way. You know I love you.”
“I know,” Tine muttered, voice muffled in Sarawat’s neck. I’m just irrationally jealous all the time, Tine wanted to say.
“You don’t have to be jealous.”
“I am though.” Tine finally said honestly, pulling away from Sarawat and gripping his hands tightly.
Sarawat sighed and dropped back down on the bed, pulling Tine with him. They were facing each other. “For the sake of full transparency, we do have history. It happened right at the start of the school year. After I saw you at the Scrubb concert, I was pretty much resigned to never seeing you again. But when you suddenly appeared in front of me, asking the weirdest favor of all time ---” Tine smiled at that one. Sarawat smiled back, tension easing out of both of them at the memory. “--- I was already yours.
“Third and I met at a bar one weekend when he was devastated and drunk over a boy. He tried to kiss me and I said no. He then proceeded to tell me all about Khai. We’ve been friends ever since.”
“Khai?” Tine asked incredulously, “They’re a thing?”
Sarawat nodded. “Would you believe that Third spent three years pining over him? I’m glad we didn’t take that long to get together.” Sarawat’s fingers were gently running over Tine’s. He shuffled forwards, eyes closing, lips ghosting over Tine’s softly. Tine pressed back, fingers intertwining with Sarawat’s as they kissed.
“I’m sorry if I made you feel insecure by not telling you about this. I didn’t think you were the type to get jealous.” Sarawat said when they pulled away, eyes glossy, both a little bit out of breath.
“I didn’t think I was either.”
“After we kissed the first time and you pulled away, all that I wanted was just to get over you.” Sarawat admitted. “But I couldn’t find a way.”
Tine felt all the doubt he had slowly slip away. “I’m an idiot. I’m sorry you’re in love with an idiot.”
“You’re a part of me, Tine.” Sarawat said firmly, “You’re never getting rid of me.”
Tine smiled and closed his eyes, heart finally at rest. “I love you.”
The smile that stretched across Sarawat’s face was blinding.
“I love you too.”