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It's the sound of thunder that finally wakes him up, though it takes a while to fully come to. Not that Hitoya minds at all; he always forgets how nice rest is until he's forced to catch up on sleep. Just another symptom of adulthood, a lack of the energy he'd taken for granted just a decade ago. A reminder that the second thing you can’t cheat (the first being justice) is time.
Time. God, he’s really started to hate that word, and everything it stands for. He’s got so much on his plate now, with Badass Temple being as much of a full-time commitment as being a lawyer. Damned brat Kuukou, always on his ass...but in a funny way, he really can’t complain, because if it wasn’t for that kid, he wouldn’t be here now. Well...not himself, of course. This is his home, after all. No...he is right over…
...oh. Hitoya’s mind creeps awake a bit quicker when his lazy hand feels an empty space beside him, and not a body. He blinks once, twice, adjusting to the light in his room that manages to come in from the window in spite of the storm. Yep...he’s gone. Damn it. He slowly sits up, trying to listen for the sound of the shower, or the television, or something , but nothing makes a noise other than the sound of rain hitting his windows. That’s weird...it’s not like Jakurai to just leave like that. Especially not on a day like this, where one, it’s a literal fucking thunderstorm out there, and two, it’s his day off. Even the fastest way to Nagoya is two hours at the very minimum, so for Jakurai to leave without even so much as a goodbye? Strange as Hell, and very out of character.
Even before the two of them became a thing, Hitoya has always known Jakurai was the closest thing to perfection that he’d ever met. Smart, kind, beautiful...he’d never been able to beat Jakurai at anything. And to make it all worse, Jakurai is also incredibly humble, almost to the point where he’s unaware of how goddamn incredible he is. There’s a reason he calls him an angel. Hitoya had to make up in his head the idea that Jakurai saw him as inferior, because, well...
Thunder strikes again, as the lawyer brings his knees in, resting his arms on them as he thinks. Hitoya is still working this out, this inferiority complex he’s developed over the years. In fact, that’s why he and Jakurai finally got together. Well...it’s a bit more than that. So much more. Jakurai Jinjugi...he’d always been drawn to him, even when they were kids. Knowing the second he laid eyes on him, he wanted to be friends. Is that even a thing, friendship at first sight? He knows so, because he’d felt a connection to the other man before he even knew his name. They became fast friends, both driven to succeed in life, and to help others no matter what. Both had decided as early as middle school to become doctors, and save lives. Though even then, Hitoya had discovered the value of money, and had been interested in any profession that would make him rich. But Jakurai was so determined to help others through it that he likes to think it rubbed off on him, too.
Things started to get complicated, though. As they got closer through the years, Hitoya started to worry. Did he even deserve Jakurai? Even as a friend. Hitoya himself, he was so flawed, and here he was, friends with the most flawless person he’s ever seen. Jakurai was always one step ahead of him in everything. In academics, he always was first in the class, Hitoya always at second. In sports, Jakurai was always on the winning team. Even with card games or board games...Hitoya couldn’t even remember ever beating him at Jan-Ken-Pon! But damned if he didn’t try. If he could just beat Jakurai at something, just once...then it would prove to himself that he was worthy of his friendship. He was going to become the greatest doctor Japan had ever seen, and surpass even his dear friend.
But as always, two things got in the way of that dream. The first one...his brother passed away. Grief like that...it changes you. It makes you feel so hollow inside, as if you’re missing a part of you that you never thought would be gone. He had died, and Hitoya couldn’t do anything about it. Human life became too precious for him to deal with. Every time he saw a cadaver, he saw his brother there, cold and dead. That’s something he’s refused to tell anyone about...even Jakurai. Some things, perhaps, are better left untold.
The second though...it was something he could easily mask as the same thing as always. He wouldn’t beat Jakurai at anything, so why not try and do his own thing rather than pursue him? A good excuse, and not fully a lie, because it was true. But it just wasn’t the full story, no matter how much he wished it was back then. No...the second thing that got in the way…
Hitoya sighs, rubbing his eyes with the palms of his hands. Now isn’t the time to be dwelling on the past. He gets up out of bed, stretching a moment, before dragging himself over to his drawer and pulling out a pair of boxers. From there he goes into his bathroom, taking care of morning routines. He’s started to fully wake up now, but maybe a nice cup of coffee will seal the deal? He’ll go take care of that next, then call Jakurai and see why he left so suddenly. Whatever it is, it has to be important. Maybe he should check his phone now, see if he called or sent a text…
Returning to his bedroom, Hitoya picks up a pair of pants on the floor, feeling the pockets. “Huh…” That’s weird. Since when did he wear blue slacks? Almost all his clothes were some shade of white, black, or red...goddamn, and these are long, too. To wear them he’d need to roll the up and--
Wait a minute.
Hitoya's mind finally puts two and two together, and then comes the realization: these are not his clothes. He looks down to the ground, seeing the turtleneck sweater Jakurai had on last night still there, as well as his own suit. Just a few reminders of what happened last night. Not one of their sessions or anything, just… Fuck. Was it lovemaking? He's never done anything like that before, with anyone. He's been having sex since college, yeah, but those have all been flings, no emotion in them except for the exciting passion, and the little voice in the back of his head that urged him to do well, to be the best lay his partner ever had. But with Jakurai, it's different. Well of course, it’s different, because he…
Oh, wait. If Jakurai's clothes are here, then what does that mean? Well, two different scenarios now present themselves: one, Jakurai took some of his clothes and left (which seems very unlikely given the fact that Jakurai's legs are so long that even Hitoya's longest pants would
barely touch his ankles), or two, Jakurai is still here. But if he’s not in the bedroom or bathroom, then where the Hell is he? Hitoya goes to his dresser, pulling on a pair of boxers along with an old T-shirt and a pair of flannel pajama pants. There’s no need to dress extravagantly today; with the storm going on he doesn’t have any plans to go outside at all. Even if he does get some work done, he'll do it comfortably. He heads out of his room and
And Jakurai is wearing his shirt.
It's an old shirt from a rock concert from years ago and Jakurai is wearing it. He keeps it still for nostalgia and wears it for sleep sometimes when it’s too cold and Jakurai is wearing that shirt and it’s on him right now. Shit, shit, shit shit shit. Like literally everything he puts on, it manages to compliment him so well. The only size they had for sale by the time Hitoya had gotten to the vendor was an extra large, which even now gives him room to spare in it. The roomy fabric accentuates Jakurai’s lanky frame, and the loose ponytail at the nape of his neck makes him look even more casual. It’s...God, he can’t even put into words the way he’s feeling right now. But it makes him feel all...warm, like he slept next to a radiator.
That feeling is only magnified when he catches what Jakurai is doing. He’s...humming? Humming to himself as he’s in the kitchen, wearing Hitoya’s clothes and...oh for the love of...he’s making breakfast. It’s just getting unfair at this point. He turns his back from the counter, focused on the stovetop, and Hitoya moves into the kitchen, noticing that another pair of his flannel pants is on the doctor, coming up short at the ankle like Hitoya knew they would.
Jakurai’s so lost in what he’s doing that he doesn’t even notice...Hitoya decides to take the opportunity to surprise him. His arms snake around his lover’s waist, nose burying itself in between Jakurai’s shoulder blades. God, of all the times he wished he was the taller of the two, this one just makes their height difference all the more prominent. But that’s not on his mind for long, as he takes in Jakurai’s scent through the familiar smell of that old shirt. He smells...clean. Sterile, almost, like a doctor should, though...there’s just the tiniest hint of lavender. It suits him.
The humming has stopped, and Jakurai looks over his shoulder, smiling warmly. “Good morning,” he says, that rich deep voice of his still a bit drowsy. “I hope I didn’t wake you.”
“Nah,” Hitoya looks up, chin resting on Jakurai’s back. Thunder got me, instead.”
“What a coincidence, the exact same thing woke me up.” The two of them look out the window, just in time to see a flash of lightning over the sky. “The forecast had mentioned rain, but nothing was said about a lightning storm…”
“Just one of those freak things of nature, I guess.” Hitoya pulls away, getting a look at the food Jakurai is making. It’s simple but nutritious, rice with natto and eggs “Breakfast, huh?”
“I attempted to stay in bed, but I started to get hungry. I’ve made enough for the two of us, if you don’t mind.”
Of course he doesn’t mind. “Goddamn, Jakurai. Wearing my clothes, cooking my food...you act like you live here.”
Jakurai chuckles at that. “It certainly feels as though you want me to, considering how often you try to get me to stay the night.”
Hitoya laughs, too, though he can’t help but feel a small twinge at that. In a perfect world. He would have already either convinced Jakurai to move in, or he would’ve found a place for them in Shinjuku. But unfortunately, the two of them are busy, busy men, with important and demanding jobs that take up most of their time, even on days off (as it is, Hitoya still has emails to answer, and possibly even a few calls to make). And not just that, the two are pledged to represent their respective divisions. To move away would just make things complicated. So, they have to settle for phone calls or video chats when time isn’t on their side, or long train rides on days off when they can coordinate staying with the other or at least just going out when the time is available. It’s tricky, but both of them are willing to make it work. People do crazy things when…
“Wouldn’t mind if you jumped ship to lead us here in Nagoya,” he says. “I’ll trade Kuukou.”
“I appreciate the gesture, but I fear he would be a bit too...rambunctious for Hifumi and Doppo to handle.” The eggs are done, and Jakurai slides them onto the rice bowls. “You seem to handle both him and Jyuushi quite well, you know.”
“I shit on ‘em, but yeah, they’re pretty okay kids. Loud as Hell, though…” With the food ready, he smiles mischievously. “Say...wanna eat in bed today? Seeing how casual we are and all.”
“And risk spilling food onto those silk bedsheets of yours?”
As if you’ve ever dropped even a single grain of rice in your lifetime…” He makes the decision, grabbing the bowls in both hands. “Come on. Food’s getting cold.”
It works, and Jakurai follows him, and within minutes the two of them are in bed, food almost finished if not entirely done. “Goddamn it,” Hitoya says, licking his lips as he sets his empty bowl on the nightstand. “Two things I like? Winning a case, and your cooking.”
“I’m glad you enjoyed it,” Jakurai says. He hasn’t finished yet. ”Perhaps next time you can return the favor?”
“You know I will, and I’ll make something fit for a damn king!” Now full, he settles back in bed a bit, figuring he could take a moment to himself before he gets back to work. Good thing, too, as he sees Jakurai reach over him to get to his bowl. “No you don’t,” Hitoya says, catching Jakurai’s wrist. “I’ll worry about the dishes. After you leave. You’ve got a few hours of travel ahead of you today, take the morning off.” He holds his free hand out. “Here, hand me yours.”
Jakurai sighs, but relents without further protest, handing Hitoya the bowl. He sets it down, and kisses Jakurai’s hand before letting go. “Thanks, angel. You really gotta start practicing what you preach. No one wants a workaholic doctor!”
“The only workaholic here is you,” Jakurai responds lightly. “Don’t you plan on doing a bit of work today?”
“Well yeah, but then I take it easy.” A lie, probably. Hitoya knows himself well enough to know he’ll figure out some work to do. “But as long as you're not living here, you're a guest. You don't worry about housework."
"Worried the dishes may take my attention?"
"I have no idea what you're talking about." God, it's so cute when Jakurai is in a teasing mood. He's usually so serious, it's a lot of fun when they can banter once every blue moon.
Hitoya reaches over the bed for his laptop, while Jakurai gets up and goes over to the bookcase. "You have such an interesting selection," he muses, running his index finger along the spines to find something to read. "I don't think I've ever met anyone with Tolstoy's entire library before."
"The man made some damn good books," Hitoya says. "Long, too. Perfect time killers."
"In that case…" Jakurai pulls a book from the shelf. "I don't believe I've read Anna Karenina yet."
"It's good. I think you'll like it." Jakurai rejoins him on the bed, and in no time at all both are completely engrossed in what they're doing. It's something they've always been able to do, even as kids, to be alone together like this. Focus on your own thing, but still be with the other. It's so peaceful, and neither has to say a word to enjoy themselves.
Hitoya, though, sneaks glances at Jakurai after every couple of emails. It's so...weird, seeing him like this. One of the most successful doctors in the country, the champion of the first Division Battle, former member of the legendary Dirty Dawg...and here he is. In Hitoya's bed. Wearing Hitoya's clothes. Reading Hitoya's book. Millions of people out there, millions of fans...and yet, this is where he chooses to be. “Part of the problem is that you see me as some kind of...idol.” Jakurai’s words from their talk after the second Division Battle echo in his mind. “I am not above you, Hitoya. I am a human, just like you. I want you to see me as an equal, not an ideal.” He gets that. He does. But damn...does Jakurai really not see his own worth? Does he not realize how he's made Hitoya feel for all these years? Does he not realize that…
The last email is sent, and Hitoya glances at the time. 2:36. Shit, that flew by. "What time did you plan on leaving?"
"To be completely honest, I was waiting for you to finish." Jakurai sits up, closing the book. "Page 147. I'll be sure to remember that for next time."
"Or you can just take it with you. Maybe if you finish it by our next day off together, I'll give you a reward." Shit, why the Hell did he just--
"That's very sweet of you, Mr. Amaguni ." Hitoya is suddenly very interested in his laptop. If Jakurai laughs, he pretends he doesn't hear it. He does feel Jalurai get up off the bed, and start to get changed. "What would you like me to do with these clothes?"
"Keep them." He almost doesn't realize he's said that. "I…" He coughs dryly. "They fit you better than they do me."
Jakurai is silent a moment. "You give me far too many things, Hitoya…"
"Someone's gotta spoil you." It's true, Jakurai is one of the only people he's ever enjoyed spending money on. Even back in their youth, he liked using some of his allowance on his dear friend. "There's two things I can't stand, Jakurai, and--"
"One of them is being ungrateful for gifts, I take it?" Jakurai is now dressed in his clothes from yesterday, the clothes he wore today folded neatly in his arms. He walks to the bed and gives Hitoya a light kiss. "I truly am grateful. Thank you."
"Don't mention it, angel." He looks out the window. "Oh hey, we timed this just right. Looks like a break in the rain."
"Then I should get going." Hitoya gets up, deciding to see Jakurai out. "I'll text you when I get home."
"Feel free to text a bit more than that," Hitoya teases, leaning on the doorframe. "I've just about got my day cleared up."
"Good. Promise me you'll rest? I don't want you to get too fatigued, especially now that your division training has gotten more intense."
"C'mon, you think those kids are gonna wear me down?" He grins. "But yeah, don't worry. I'll take it easy." He'll never admit how nice it is that Jakurai worries about him.
"Thank you." With the hand not holding his things, Jakurai lifts Hitoya's chin up, then leans down, kissing him on the lips. It's sweet and tender, an affectionate type of kiss they've been sharing more and more lately. Hitoya can't ever get enough. His hands find their way into Jakurai's soft violet hair, trying to take in this last moment together until who knows how long. Yeah, sure, they have phones and cameras, but damn it. None of that compares to the real thing.
The kiss has to end at some point. Jakurai straightens up and smiles. "Goodbye, Hitoya. I'll see you later." He opens the door and starts down the hall, but something urges Hitoya to follow after him.
"Jakurai wait!"
The doctor stops, looking behind rather surprised. "Yes?"
"I just wanted to tell you…" Fuck. Fuck, fuck, FUCK. "Uh...Anna Karenina is my favorite Tolstoy. Let me know how you like it."
"I'll be sure to." Jakurai nods, and, with one last smile, turns the corner, and is gone.
Hitoya groans, heading back inside and shutting the door. He leans on it and buries his face in his hands. What the Hell was that? What was he thinking? Goddamn it! He's acting like some fucking schoolgirl…He shakes his head. "Pull yourself together, dumbass…" He forces himself to get up, and decides to just...stay busy all day. He can't take anything easy. Be too easy and an incident like that happens.
He decides to start with the dishes. Turning on his stereo, it's set to a station that plays old Western songs. Sounds like it's a set for crooner music that's just started. A song by Frank Sinatra is up first.
"L is for the way you look at me…"
On second thought, maybe silence was the better option.