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Wonwoo lived in constant fear of the monsters around him. As scary as they were, they seemed like a small price to pay for clairvoyant dreams. Nobody else could see them and they weren’t a figment of his imagination. Wonwoo could simply just see the monsters that people had created, the monsters that burdened their minds.
They were all horrible creatures, but Wonwoo saw fears more often than flaws. He noticed that flaws only appeared once he truly got to know people. Fears, in a way, were less personal, at least in Wonwoo’s opinion.
Each of them were unique to a person. For one, vanity would be a once-beautiful old woman, akin to the Evil Queen from Snow White. For another, vanity would be a deformed creature holding a mirror. The same stare, The same way they trailed after their poor victims. the same features of vanity were still distinguishable. Wonwoo liked to think that they were all the same species, but like humans, were unique and varied in some characteristics.
When he got closer to people, more of their monsters appeared before his eyes. It felt like an intrusion every time they revealed a secret or a little fact about themselves. Yes, it made him uncomfortable, but strangely intrigued. He often tried to predict what monsters would be revealed and why.
For Mingyu, the flaw monsters were hard to speculate. ( But maybe that was because Wonwoo had put him on such a high pedestal in his mind. Was it a crush? Perhaps. ) Maybe it was because every time Wonwoo caught a glimpse of him, he tried to ignore the younger’s puppy eyes and fluffy hair. The way Mingyu blushed when he got complimented. Wonwoo also noted that, when he first met him, only one fear monster followed Mingyu around.
The unknown.
When he had first met Mingyu, he had never seen the particular fear. Mingyu’s unknown was a floating, gaping black hole with a thin barrier on the front, like a window, absorbing small letters— wisps of Mingyu’s worries—like a small vacuum condensing dust. His worries formed into a large, grey mass, only slightly visible against the black void waiting behind it.
Never before had Wonwoo seen an object as a monster. Perhaps this was what Mingyu had envisioned his fear to be. Perhaps this was just Wonwoo’s interpretation of the unknown.
From then on, Wonwoo’s dreams always started with Mingyu’s unknown. He was a single word, hovering near the monster. then suddenly he was getting sucked through the thin glass wall and joining the mass of worries. Only then would his dreams truly start, going through small glimpses of the future like an ominous videotape.
The first scene in his dream was unclear. He could see the dark outlines of chairs and desks in a barely-lit study room, the eerie pounding of rain resounding against the window. There was a sound of shuffling clothes near him and the rain seemed to cease its pounding to allow a small whisper to reach Wonwoo’s ears.
”Wonwoo-hyung, I’m scared.”
Raindrops still echoed softly in his ears when the scene changed. Wonwoo was in the school library, the sun changing his dream’s atmosphere from gloomy to golden as the sun’s rays fell over rows and rows of books. His eyes were skimming over the words in his textbook, studying for the various tests he would have next week.
A hand interrupted his studies, placing a small muffin and a chocolate bar on the table. He was ready to see who the person was, but again, before he could lift his head, the dream transitioned into a happier scene.
Wonwoo could see Soonyoung and Jihoon swinging their hands together in front of him. They were walking on the street near the campus, and Wonwoo could feel the joy in the atmosphere despite the clouds gathering in the sky.
”It feels awkward to be the third wheels, right hyung?”
This time, the dream allowed Wonwoo to turn his head to the speaker. He was met with the grinning face of the one & only Kim Mingyu, who was wiggling his eyebrows at the happy couple walking in front of them.
Before he could respond, his alarm cut him off. Groaning slightly and rubbing his eyes to get rid of the last remnants of sleep, Wonwoo rose from his bed and smiled in anticipation for the events that his visions had foretold.
「 」
The first scene happened that very day, which rarely occurred. Wonwoo found that his visions usually came true in the week after he dreamed them, but not immediately. Great grey clouds hovered in the sky, a warning and a promise of rain. His umbrella was stashed safely in the side pocket of his backpack, ready for the outburst of water above him.
Wonwoo usually walked to school with Junhui because they lived close to each other and had nearly the same school schedules. But since sleeping had climbed up the older’s priority list the past week, Wonwoo had walked to school alone. There was no reason for him sleeping in. When Wonwoo asked, Jun would just reply, “Why not?” It was no surprise that when the pair saw each other at school, Junhui had bags under his eyes and a tired monster—which Wonwoo suspected was laziness—to match.
He speed-walked to school, never pausing for a breath. He dodged pedestrians and their monsters, trying to ignore the monsters’ leering faces and repulsive features. By the time he got to the front doors, the sweat streaming down his face was mixed with the slight drizzle that had begun. His backpack was still fairly dry but Wonwoo immediately rushed inside the warm, dry school building.
Since it was very early, only teachers holding their morning coffee and an occasional student occupied the hallways. Wonwoo’s lips stretched into a private smile as he realized that he was extremely early and that he had the opportunity to be by himself for once. Alone but for the rain and his books. Since the school library was still closed, he rushed to his favourite study hall.
It was a spacious room with a warm interior and included several comfy chairs and tables scattered around the large space. Out of habit, he chose the spot nearest to the window, where the sound of the relentless rain filled the empty silence of the school. He opened his books, grabbed a pencil and began to study.
His note-taking was interrupted by a clap of thunder and the creak of the door opening. Startled by the sounds, Wonwoo’s hand slipped, creating a scar on his page, and he turned his head to the door. A tall figure who carried the scent of petrichor with him entered the room, clutching a red umbrella and panting slightly. A monster trailed him from behind like a pet held by an invisible leash.
It was Kim Mingyu.
The younger’s eyes, hidden slightly by his dark,wet locks, widened as he realized that he had intruded.
”I’m so sorry, did I interrupt you, hyung? I just need a place to dry off and all the other rooms are occupied.” Mingyu said. A few words floated from the top of his head, the monster quickly absorbing his worries like a sponge.
Wonwoo could feel the blush staining his pale cheeks. “Ah, it’s okay. I don’t mind.”
”Thank you so much, Wonwoo-hyung!” They knew each other from a study group, and met through Junhui and Minghao, who was Mingyu’s best friend. He could barely suppress his grin : he loved those rare moments when Mingyu would say his name. Yes, they were technically acquaintances, but it felt slightly out-of-place when they were alone together. Probably because they only hung out in a group setting.
But as out-of-place as it was to be alone with Mingyu, Wonwoo liked it. There was no loud shouts of the other boys. No person to see the older boy’s ever-growing blush.
Mingyu’s smile was warm and thankful. Wonwoo turned his head back to his work to hide his red cheeks and ears. After the small exchange of words, the bang of thunder reached their ears again. It seemed to startle Mingyu even more than Wonwoo earlier, for the boy studying heard the clink of an umbrella handle and a small yelp.
Now, a cloud of words formed around Mingyu’s head.
“Are you okay, Mingyu?” Wonwoo asked.
Mingyu smiled sheepishly. “Yes. Just got a little bit-“ He cut off as the room vanished under the cover of darkness
.
Both of the boys let out a small gasp as their surroundings vanished. When Wonwoo got over the shock of the power outage, he immediately spoke out.
”Mingyu?"
He was suddenly stopped by the sound of rain (or was it his mind?), drowning out his next words. The feeling of déjà-vu creeped up on him, tickling his neck.
Then he heard it. The shuffling of Mingyu’s clothes. The torrent of rain ceased.
In a broken, quiet voice, Mingyu whispered, “Wonwoo-hyung, I’m scared.”
”Mingyu . . .don’t worry, you’re not alone. I’m here, okay?” Wonwoo tried his best to move closer to the younger boy, starting to maneuver around chairs, the corners of tables poking at his body.
He ignored the pain and approached Mingyu in the dark. He reached out a hand towards the boy, who was sitting on the floor, head buried in his arms which were trying in vain to block out the noise of the thunderstorm outside. Wonwoo put his arms around Mingyu, They had never been this close before, had never hugged or made extended contact above small touches on the arm and brushing against each other accidentally, but somehow, Wonwoo’s arms felt like home. Mingyu instinctively wrapped his arms around Wonwoo as well.
Worries that his hyung thought his fear of the dark was childish piled up in his head, but Mingyu couldn’t help it. Perhaps it wasn’t the dark that truly scared him. At that very moment, Mingyu knew it was the possible dangers that lurked in the inky corners of the room. The unknown.
His terrors ceased when he realized that Wonwoo was still holding him, now rubbing comforting little circles into his back. Neither of them said a word for a few moments until an announcement rang from the ceiling.
”Good morning everyone! We’re sorry to inform you that the electricity has gone out in most of the school. We will proceed with classes as usual while we fix the problem. In the meantime, please head straight to your home-rooms.”
”We have to go. . .” Wonwoo pulled back from Mingyu’s grasp. The lights were still off, and all he could see was Mingyu’s eyes and the drumming of the morning’s cloudburst. Reluctance and longing lingered in Mingyu’s face. He wanted—no, needed—his hyung’s warmth again.
”Okay.” Mingyu whispered in the dark, “See you soon, hyung. Thank you.” He gathered up his things and exited the room, leaving Wonwoo shivering at the unrestrained sincerity of his words.
Before packing up his books, Wonwoo noticed that the younger boy had left two things behind.
His umbrella and his monster.
「 」
A couple of days later, Wonwoo headed to the school library after classes. His studying had taken a toll on him. His eyes were droopy after nights of sleeping late,and he didn’t bother combing his hair. His bag was almost as heavy as his eyes, crowded with textbooks, notebooks, and extra pens. Although he hated being unorganized, his desk at home was a mess, but he didn’t care because at least he knew where everything was.
Or so he thought.
After nearly 15 minutes of making sure he had everything for the day, Wonwoo had neglected the very thing that had kept him going. His sustenance, his comfort, one of the only things he had been looking forward to every day.
He had forgotten food.
Naturally, by the time classes had ended, he was nearly starving and in a bad mood. The night before, he had only eaten a small dinner and breakfast was forsaken. Wonwoo found it hard to focus on the teachers’ droning words: the only noise in his head was his grumbling stomach. He thanked goodness that Chan, the study group’s beloved maknae, had been kind enough to share some of his sandwich at lunch. But it still wasn’t enough for Wonwoo.
Despite his nagging hunger, he forgot it for a couple of hours as his mind focused on his studies. The only time he was interrupted was when a hand placed a muffin and a chocolate bar in front of him. He looked up to see Jisoo standing in front of him, a warm smile on his face.
”Thanks Jisoo-hyung, you don’t know how much my stomach was rumbling earlier.”
”I know, I heard it.” JIsoo replied, chuckling as he sat down. “You’re working hard so you deserve to take a break.” He tilted his head to the food lying on the table.
Wonwoo smiled. “Wow, hyung, what a gentleman. I was just about to go up and get some food." He gratefully unwrapped the chocolate bar and skimmed over his notes one last time.
”Repay me back by doing well on your exams, okay? I need to go, Jeonghan said he needs help on his homework.” Jisoo said, smiling at Wonwoo one more time. He waved to his hyung as he left the library. What did he do in his past life to deserve such kind friends?
There was a sticky note laying on the muffin’s wrapper.
’Don’t worry about the monsters’, it said, ‘I can see them too.’
Wonwoo let out an audible gasp, which cut through the silence of the library. He decided to interrogate Jisoo later since his mind was too muddled, but he couldn’t hide the shock of this revelation. His study group hadn’t been open about their powers before, but curiosity ate away at the paragraphs he had studied merely a few minutes ago. What was Jisoo’s power and how did he know Wonwoo’s?
Wiping all thoughts of it from his mind, Wonwoo packed up. As he was doing so, he spotted a shadow lingering on the floor in front of him. Looking up from his bag, he saw the imposing figure of Mingyu’s monster, who seemed to be watching him although it had no eyes. Wonwoo panicked and looked around, searching for the tall frame of Kim Mingyu. But no matter how far his eyes searched, the library remained empty. The monster was still in the same place, and Wonwoo thought it looked odd without Mingyu’s worries floating into it.
”Did you follow me here?” He was glad that nobody else was around in the room lest they found him crazy. The monster moved itself in its own form of a nod, bobbing up and down in the air.
”But why?” For the first time, Wonwoo saw words float out of the monster.
You two share me.
Wonwoo understood.
He went to find Mingyu.
But the aftereffects of being hungry for so long and studying until he thought his brain might explode rendered Wonwoo lazy for the rest of the day. No matter how many texts he had sent to the study group chat, nobody knew where Mingyu was. Mingyu’s monster had become Wonwoo’s second shadow while his umbrella was a weight on his chest and a constant reminder to find him.
Wonwoo slumped into his bed at the end of the day, the monster watching him, an odd bodyguard that stayed at his bedside until the morning.
「 」
Wonwoo was grateful that the next day was a Saturday. He slept in until eleven o’clock, in a deep peaceful sleep until he realized that he still had to find Mingyu. He still hadn’t formulated a plan on what to do when he found the younger boy other than give back his umbrella. If he said Mingyu’s fear that had materialized in a form of a cosmic vacuum was following him, would Mingyu believe him?
Probably not.
Then Wonwoo remembered Jisoo and the note he had left him yesterday. Perhaps he would help? Wonwoo suddenly sat up and grabbed his phone. He sent a text to his hyung, waiting anxiously for a response.
ｗｏｎｕ
jisoo-hyung, can u help me? i
need to return a fear to someone
but I don’t know how
The older boy’s response was quick.
ｃａｔｓｈｕａ
let go of the fear. It doesn’t
necessarily mean that you’re
scared of it. smts when u have
emotional attachments they
stick to you because they know
u can see them
ｃａｔｓｈｕａ
and maybe u helped that person
get rid of that fear, but it could be both
Wonwoo glanced at the monster, who seemed to be patiently waiting for him. He sent a quick thank you text to Jisoo and glanced at the study group chat. Mingyu had finally responded.
ｍｉｎｇｙｕｓｕｎｂａｅｎｉｍ
i’ll be with soonyoung-hyung and
jihoon-hyung @ pinwheel cafe if u
need me wonwoo-hyung
ｍｉｎｇｙｕｓｕｎｂａｅｎｉｍ
pls come, I don’t want to be the only third wheel lol
Wonwoo laughed. A few weeks after Soonyoung had been accepted into their study group, Jihoon and him had been an unofficial couple. They’d never admitted they were dating but the remaining boys were extremely suspicious. They took every opportunity to tease Soonyoung but since Jihoon tended to have violent tendencies they avoided mentioning their relationship lest they had another guitar incident.
ｗｏｎｕ
okie I’ll come! I just wanted to
give your umbrella back lol
Wonwoo walked three blocks to Pinwheel cafe, a small establishment popular with the general public due to its scrumptious home-baked goods and a wide assortment of coffees fit for any caffeine-deprived person. He immediately spotted his three friends secluded in their own little corner. Soonyoung and Jihoon were chatting with little smiles on their faces while Mingyu looked like he was trying his best to restrain his inner fanboy at their cuteness.
Soonyoung noticed Wonwoo first, acknowledging him with an eye smile that lifted the corners of his lips. Wonwoo smiled back and pretended not to notice the blush staining Jihoon’s cheeks as he stared at Soonyoung.
”Hi guys.” Wonwoo said. Jihoon stopped him from sitting down and moved closer to him. “Soonyoung-hyung and I going to walk to the campus to study. We’re just going to throw some stuff away first, you and Mingyu can do stuff together if you don’t want to come.” JIhoon winked at Wonwoo discreetly, tilting his head ever so slightly in Mingyu’s direction.
“No thanks, I’ve had enough of studying.” Wonwoo sighed and made eye contact with Mingyu. Soonyoung nodded sympathetically and went to the bins to sort their trash.
“Where do you want to go?” He asked the younger boy. Mingyu blushed and smiled shyly. He looked like a gigantic puppy in his oversized hoodie and Wonwoo wanted so badly to pinch his cheeks.
”I know a place we can go to, hyung. It’s near the campus so we can just walk with these two lovebirds.” Mingyu shoved a thumb behind him, where Soonyoung and Jihoon were taking an obnoxiously long time sorting their trash, giggling obliviously.
”They’re so in love with each other, it’s kind of disgusting.” Wonwoo shook his head as the aforementioned pair walked up to them. Jihoon had a puzzled expression on his face.
“What’s disgusting?” Jihoon asked. He failed to notice the brief eye contact exchanged by Mingyu and Wonwoo. They both said nothing and walked to the door, snickering behind their hands. Soonyoung and Jihoon caught up and the other two decided to fall behind to avoid their cheesy couple conversations. Although the sky was beginning to turn grey, it seemed as if Soonyoung and Jihoon were beckoning the sun to come back through the clouds just to witness their love.
Meanwhile, Mingyu and Wonwoo had fallen into a quiet, comfortable silence. Mingyu broke it first. ”It feels awkward to be the third wheels, right, hyung?” He wiggles his eyebrows when Wonwoo caught his eye.
”Yeah. Especially when the couple won’t even admit they’re dating.” Wonwoo rolled his eyes and Mingyu giggled. They arrived at the campus, and Soonyoung and Jihoon waved goodbye with their free hands. Mingyu and Wonwoo both smiled as they realized the two boys were holding hands.
Mingyu thought it was endearing, but Wonwoo cringed inwardly despite the smile on his face.
”Lead the way, Kim Mingyu.” Wonwoo said as the pair walked inside the campus doors.
”Do you want to hold hands like Soonyoung-hyung and Jihoon-hyung did?” Mingyu said, smirking once he saw the flustered expression on Wonwoo’s face. He avoided the younger’s eyes as he grabbed Mingyu’s hand, who giggled again as his eyes sparkled.
”I guess that’s a ‘yes” then.” Mingyu whispered as he led his hyung to one of his favorite places. He’d never told anyone about it, but it was a safe haven. Mingyu figured that he should show it to one of the only people who had made him feel safe without expecting anything in return.
His safe haven was a small area behind the campus, which was perfect since students rarely ventured there. It was a small circle lined with an overflowing sea of colourful flowers, still adequately hydrated from the recent rain spells. Several comfy benches dotted the area.
Mingyu led Wonwoo to one of the dry benches and they both sat down, hands still intertwined. Smiles stretched their faces, which, unbeknownst to them, were identical to the smiles that Soonyoung and Jihoon had worn a few minutes earlier.
”It’s really pretty here.” Wonwoo spoke quietly, as if afraid to wreck the serenity of the scene. His eyes no longer lingered on the grey sky. Instead, his mind became aware of only his hand in Mingyu’s and the crystal-clear dewdrops on the flowers.
”Somehow it became prettier when I brought you here.” Mingyu replied, at the same volume that his hyung’s voice had been.
”Hyung, I know I probably shouldn’t say this here because if you say no, this place might be ruined for me.” Mingyu winced and abruptly let go of Wonwoo’s hand. He turned to the younger boy, slightly confused. But Mingyu wasn’t looking at him. Instead, his gaze seemed to go straight through the monster in front of him. Mingyu’s unknown seemed to be bigger than usual, growing larger from the amount of words floating out of Mingyu’s head.
”But I’m going to say it anyways.” The expression on his face was so vulnerable that Wonwoo felt as if all Mingyu’s unfiltered thoughts were spread out in front of him.
”I can’t stop thinking about you, Wonwoo-hyung. Ever since that storm. . .the way you held me. . .it felt like home. I think all my fears vanished once you hugged me. You healed me, hyung. It’s embarrassing to say all this stuff out loud but I just wanted to let you know.”
Mingyu then stood up, ready to leave. He felt that fear of the unknown slip in again and it twisted his stomach. He was afraid of what the expression on Wonwoo’s face was. Perhaps it was disgust, perhaps it was flattery. Either way, he didn’t want to see it.
Wonwoo grabbed the younger boy’s sleeve. “Don’t leave.” Mingyu turned around, first noticing the expression on his hyung’s face. It wasn’t disgust or flattery; it was pure, genuine kindness. He made eye contact with Wonwoo, who smiled even wider.
”I feel the same.” Wonwoo said. It was a simple phrase, but at the same time it was magical. It did not cause the sun to break out through the clouds, shining in all its glory. But the sun’s smile peeked through the grey clouds, a sword of light piercing the gloominess.
That tiny sliver of sun seemed to illuminate Mingyu’s already-glimmering smile. The resplendent flowers seemed to crane their heads toward the couple, eager to share in their newfound happiness.
Wonwoo lived in constant fear of the monsters around him. Although sometimes his fears clouded his mind, Mingyu became that tiny sliver of sun that led him through the dark.
He didn’t need clairvoyant dreams to know that he and Mingyu would have a great future together.
Unbeknownst to the couple, Mingyu’s unknown shrunk to the size of his hand the second Wonwoo reciprocated the younger’s feelings. Because from that point on, no matter what lingered in dark corners, no matter what the future held for him, no matter what aches he felt or dreams he would pursue, Mingyu had one constant in his life: love, in the form of a clairvoyant boy named Jeon Wonwoo.