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They had been drinking for hours now, the only sober one being J'onn as he couldn't be affected by the contents of alcohol. Even Bruce was drunk.
"Hey Bruce," Clark heard Oliver say, "I gotta ask. Is it weird being the single Omega parent to a bunch of Alphas? Like what's the weirdest thing?"
"The cock-blocking," said Bruce
Clark choked on his drink. Beside him, Hal did a spit take while Barry and Arthur let out incredulous laughs. Both J'onn and Dinah looked highly amused. Diana had a small smirk on her face and Oliver, the second most sober, had a confused look on his face.
"Uh, wanna run that by me again Wayne?"
"The cock-blocking," said Bruce, "Seriously, it's ridiculous,"
"Spooky," said Hal, "How drunk are you right now?"
"Oh, very," said Bruce, "I'm going to hate myself in the morning,"
"Yeah, Yeah," said Oliver, "But you can't say something like that and not explain yourself. Come on Brucie. There's a story behind that,"
"Well," said Bruce, "It started with Dick. When he was really young I stopped picking people up for a while but, you know, once he settled down I tried to go back to it, coincidentally at the same time as he has started presenting his Alpha traits,"
"Right," said Barry
"The first time it happened was at Wayne Charity Gala,"
Bruce smiled as the Alpha trailed his hands down his back.
"You look as gorgeous as always Mr. Wayne,"
"Oh please James, we've known each other for a long time. You can call me Bruce,"
And it was true, they had met in high school. Back then James had been loud, brash and utterly unimpressed with relationships. The perfect hookup for Bruce. In the present, James was much more put together, standing straight, shaking hands and disarming people with his smile.
And Bruce wanted him. At least for the night.
By the way, James' hands were wandering he wanted him too.
"So, Bruce," said James, hand now hovering at his thigh "Have some time to spare for an old friend tonight? I know you're here with that kid of yours,"
And score.
"Well, he's old enough to go home with the driver. But we'll have to do your place,"
James grinned, "Well, that's understandable. Maybe we could just-"
"Bruce! There you are!"
Ah. Shit.
"Hey Dick," he said, "What is it?"
"Can we go home now?" he said, draping himself over Bruce and forcing James to remove his hand.
"Uh, yeah," said Bruce, "I thought you were going to-"
"Come on, Bruce," said Dick, "Now!"
"Maybe I should-" said James
"Yeah," muttered Bruce, "Some other time,"
"Huh," said Barry, "Doesn't sound like it was done on purpose,"
"Oh it wasn't," said Bruce, "He didn't even realize he was doing it a lot of times, just that he wanted the strange Alpha away from me. I had a talk with him and he said he would stop but I could tell how much it killed him to let some Alpha hang all over me so I just stopped picking people up. Again,"
"Sucks," said Hal
"Yup. Anyway, eventually, he left and I kinda started getting back into it. I mean I was still in my twenties then,"
"Yeah," said Dinah, nodding alone, "But then I guess Jason came along,"
"Oh yeah," said Bruce, "That was a disaster. I mean I love that kid. But Jesus,"
Bruce sighed happily as Jasmine pressed her fingers to his wrist.
"You smell wonderful, darling," she said, "I just wanna eat you up,"
"Well Jasmine," he said, trailing his other hand over her back, "I'm sure we can arrange that,"
Someone cleared their throat behind them. Bruce turned to find little Jason standing there with a pout on his face.
"I think we should go home now," said Jason
"Oh, okay," said Bruce, "I thought you were leaving early with Alfred,"
"Well now you're coming too," said Jason
"I am?" asked Bruce, feeling more and more confused by the second
"Maybe we should do this another time," said Jasmine, looking a bit amused by the situation.
It was her amusement that clued him in.
Oh, this was like Dick all over again.
"How about not," said Jason, glaring at the Alpha who just put her hands up in surrender, looking like she was about to burst into laughter.
Ok, this was so much worse than Dick.
"I don't think he wants you near me," said Jasmine in a voice only he could hear.
Jason gave her a hard glare for her transgression. She just smiled and walked away.
"Oh wow," said Diana, "Little one is fierce,"
"Yup," said Bruce, "These days those two do it on purpose,"
"Oh hey Bruce," said Rajan, standing a little too close for it to be friendly
"Rajan," he said
"So I was wondering if you would want to-"
"He would not," said a voice from behind
Bruce groaned internally. Why were his children like this?
"Definitely not," said Dick
"Uh, what?" said Rajan
"You weren't propositioning our father were you," said Jason, standing tall, which Bruce had to admit was pretty intimidating, especially when you took in the muscle.
"Because that might cause some problems," said Dick
"I think I'm gonna go now," said Rajan and practically ran away from there
Clark was having a really hard time stopping his laughter. The other members of the league seemed to be having the same problem.
"Har har har," said Bruce, "Please laugh at my pain,"
"Oh Lord!" said Arthur, "Your children sound amazing,"
"You haven't heard about the rest of them,"
Bruce grinned against Omari's lips as he led them to his room. The Alpha smelled amazing, taking all of Bruce's control not to strip them right there.
"Oh Hi Bruce," said Tim, making them break apart instantly
"Tim!" Bruce said, almost screeching, "Aren't you supposed to be home?"
"You were supposed to talk to Mr. Javari," said Tim, looking between them, "You have to make the call,"
"Right," said Bruce
"Well," said Clark, "You can't blame him for that. He genuinely needed you for something,"
"Except that, I had already made that call earlier," said Bruce, "Infront of Tim. While he rolled his eyes every time I said something 'Too Brucie',"
"Oh my," said Diana, leaning forward, "Cunning little thing,"
"Exactly!" said Bruce adorably waving his hands around, "I couldn't say anything in front of Omari and Tim knew that. The worst part, Omari was all 'What a cute child' and 'You should attend to him' and I'm just thinking, there goes another night of wild sex because my kids are annoying little shits,"
There was another round of laughter from the group.
"Come on. Come on," said Oliver, "Tell us more!"
"Damian," sighed Bruce, a fond look on his face, "Sweet cranky little Damian,"
"So Bruce," said Agnia, her voice holding a hint of an accent, "I was wondering if you would like to take a ride with me?"
"What kind of ride?" he said, bringing out his best smile.
The Alpha smirked, "We can do both kinds. The night is still young after all,"
Bruce grinned and leaned into her. She reciprocated by putting an arm around his waist.
"Remove your hands from my Father,"
Bruce sighed and looked down, feeling resigned.
"Hello, Damian," he said. This child wasn't even supposed to be here tonight.
"Ah," said Agnia, "Is this your youngest?"
"Yes," said Bruce
"Take your hands off of him!" This time his tone was more insistent, "I won't ask again,"
"Oh?" said Agnia, "Well, my apologies, to both of you,"
Damian nodded seriously and turned to Bruce, "We should go now,"
Bruce sighed, "I suppose we should. Go call the car,"
Damian gave one last warning glare, and it was definitely a warning, to the Alpha and walked away.
"I'm so sorry about that. He wasn't supposed to be here tonight. He must have come with his brothers,"
Agnia laughed and gently stroked his cheek, "It's alright. I used to do it to my Omega parent too. And I understand that he didn't grow up with you. Makes him more protective,"
"Thank you for understanding," he said, "Most people don't"
"Most people are stupid,"
Bruce smiled and was about to-
"Father!"
"You better go," said Agnia, "It was nice to meet you, Mr. Wayne,"
"Lovely to meet you too, Ms. Agnia,"
"So, what was that about?" he asked Damian once he caught up to him
"Well," said Damian with a completely serious face, "I had to protect your virtue,"
"We are going to have a conversation when we get home," said Bruce, dreading it already. Maybe he could just skip it. It's not like it had helped with his other sons.
"Did he really say virtue?" asked Dinah
"In his defense, he translates everything from Arabic to English in his head and the only English he learned was formal," said Bruce
"But virtue?" asked Hal, "Even in slang language that's funny,"
"Yup," said Bruce, "After the third time he did that I was this close to saying 'Your mother picked me up at a gala and you were conceived in the back of a car' I mean it was a nice car but still,"
"Really?" asked Barry, "I thought you met her abroad when you were travelling,"
"Oh I did," said Bruce, "She was on business,"
"Ah," said Barry, "What about your daughter?"
"Ha," said Bruce, "Dear Cassandra,"
"Uh Bruce," said the Alpha he had been chatting up, "Your daughter is starting to scare me,"
Bryce sighed, "It's alright Abbas, just ignore her,"
"It's kinda hard," he said, pretty grey eyes flickering sideways.
Bruce followed his gaze and sure enough, there was Cassandra, her eyes unblinkingly trained on Abbas.
"I don't think she likes me talking to you," said Abbas, "And no offence but your kids are kinda scary, especially your girl,"
"I know," said Bruce, not knowing whether to be proud or to feel frustrated.
"I'm just gonna-" said Abbas and Bruce nodded, watching the man walk away very very quickly.
Bruce couldn't even blame him. Cassandra could be scary.
"So?" said J'onn handing them all some water, "She merely stares at them?"
"Yup," said Bruce, "And it works. She's just that good,"
Hal snorted, "Your kids are something,"
"Yeah," said Bruce, a soft smile on his face "They're really great, wouldn't trade them for anything,"
They were quiet smiles around the room as Diana decided it was a good time to call it a night.
'This,' thought Clark looking at everybody's relaxed posture, 'had been a good idea,'
xxx
Bruce was nursing his first and last champagne glass for the night when he felt someone's arm come around his waist. Considering there were very few people in this circle that could actually come close to him this silently...
"Hey Ollie," he said in his best Brucie voice, "I see you were invited too. Should have let me know,"
"Aww but I wanted to surprise you," he said, purring a little close to his ear
What the hell was Oliver doing?
"Play along,"
Bruce was confused. It wasn't that he didn't understand what Oliver was saying, they had saved each other from many unbearable conversations after all. But he couldn't see anything that Oliver needed saving from and Oliver wasn't one to just come up to Bruce and start flirting
He was up to something.
Still, Bruce was bored and figured giving into the Alpha's shenanigans wouldn't hurt too much. Oliver did know have to have fun and Bruce was in a good mood.
So he put up with Oliver's wandering, but respectful hands, and his, only kind of, bad flirting.
He got an inkling of what was happening when he saw Stephanie coming their way, a determined gleam in her eyes.
"So Oliver," said Stephanie, stopping right in front of them, "Feeling a little handsy today are we?"
"Uh," said Oliver
Oh, this little shit. Really Queen?
"Cause really, that is just not classy," said Stephanie, crossing her arms and glaring, "Anything to say for yourself, Mr. Queen?"
Bruce could see that Oliver trying to hold his laughter, probably in hopes of prolonging the conversation but as soon as Stephanie raised one of her eyebrows he was lost.
Oliver doubled over in laughter and he wasn't the only one. He could hear Dick and Tim giggling behind them. Jason and Damian were coming up behind Stephanie, wide grins on their faces. Cassandra had come to stand beside him and was looking at him with amused eyes. Poor Duke just looked confused, standing at the other side of Cassandra.
"What?" said Stephanie, "I'm making a good point here,"
"Don't worry, Brown," said Damian, "You have just joined the tradition of Father's Alpha children warding off his one night stands,"
"I told you he did it on purpose," said Bruce, giving Dick a pointed look
"What, really?" said Dick, looking at his little brother
Damian shrugged, "It was instinct at first but afterwards it was just to watch Father try to not roll his eyes,"
That garnered him a few chuckles all around.
"That is it," said Bruce, pushing away a still laughing Oliver, "Duke? You're my favourite now,"
The young Alpha grinned, "Sure, B. Does that mean I can get ice cream?"
"Yup," said Bruce, "Let's go get ice cream. The rest of you stay back and think about what you've done,"
There was a wave of protests but Bruce grabbed Duke's arm and hauled them both out of there.
Duke was laughing by the time they got to the car, "Do they really cock-block you every time?"
"Oh yes,"
"I mean I don't blame them. Most Alphas are protective and you deserve to be respected," said Duke
"Duke, baby, you're the only normal child I have. Please stay this way,"
Duke's laughter was like magic.
Bruce couldn't help the warmth that spread through him.
He really did love his kids.