Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Brian groaned. Today was not his day. Or this week if he was being honest. He had noticed that his shoulders and neck had started to feel sore on Monday, and he knew that it couldn’t be good, but he kept his fingers crossed that it would go away.

It did not go away. In fact, it had gotten a whole lot worse. By Thursday he started to thing that cutting off his shoulders would be better than the awful pain shooting up his spine. It turned into one of those pains that goes up to your head, giving you a terrible migraine. He wished it was Friday already so that way he could hibernate all weekend. Maybe that would get rid of the pain.

“Hey dweebaziod, what’s messin with you?” John questioned. Him and Brian were supposed to be working on a partner project in shop, but Brian felt more like banging his head into the desk than building some stupid lamp.

“It’s nothin,” the blond responded stubbornly.

“Okay yup, something is botherin you. Tell me now or tell me when I show up at your window tonight.”

“You don’t even know where I live,” Brian mumbled, voice monotone, into the desk. He felt way too tired to banter with John.

“I have walked you home multiple times, I’m pretty sure I know how to get to your house.”

“Can we just get this project done?” He looked at John with pleading eyes. He could tell that Bender wanted to prod him about it, but Brian must have looked awfully pitiful, because John just sighed.

“Yeah alright. I’ll finish it up.”

Brian did his best to mumble a cohesive thanks, then buried his head deeper into his arms. He knew that having to move was going to suck since the light would definitely cause a horrible spike in his migraine, but he couldn’t get himself to move. He was in the least pain he had been in all day and he wasn’t about to ruin it.

Then the bell rang.

“Shit.”

When Brian got home, he stumbled to his room, flopping down on his bed. Unfortunately, he didn’t think about the fact that he would end up being in so much pain that he couldn’t fall asleep. Brian wanted to cry. He felt fatigue settled deep in his bones and he couldn’t even fall asleep to temporarily ignore it. God this is horrible. He curled up into a ball and let himself succumb to the stress that had been building up since the beginning of the week. Brian felt warm tears start to run down his face, leaving the skin cold in their trails.

“Hey dork-oh shit are you crying?”

Brian snapped his head towards the window to see none other than John Bender holding his window opened a crack. A voice in the back of Brian’s mind wondered how cold Bender must have been. Upon seeing his face, John forced open the window so that he could clamber inside. Once he made it in, he immediately lost his confidence, standing awkwardly in the corner.

Brian wasn’t doing much better. His face was flushed from a mixture of embarrassment and tears, and he tried desperately to scrub his face dry. “Sorry I-”

“No, no. It’s okay,” stated John, coming to his senses. “Can you just tell me what’s wrong? You’ve been off all day and, I’ll deny that I said this till the day I day, it kinda sucks when you’re just quiet the whole day. And, ya know, sad.”

“I,” Brian bit back a sob, “I’ve been having awful back pains since Monday and they only got worse the longer the week has gone on. I can’t focus, I can’t relax, I can’t even sleep.” Brian felt tears spring up and begin to pour. “I’m just in so much pain man and I don’t know how to make it stop!”

“I’m sure there’s something I could do. I guess I could, I dunno, maybe give you a shoulder massage?”

Brian looked up at him hopefully, “Really?

“I uh,” well I can’t say no when you look like that, “yeah man. Just sit up.”

Brian scrambled to do as told, then stared at John expectantly. He was desperate for relief, also he didn’t particularly mind John being the one to give him said pain relief.

Bender sat down behind him, knees pressing gently into Brian’s sides. He carefully placed his hand on the back of Brian’s neck, opting to start at the neck and work his way down to the root of the problem.

As he pressed his fingers down, Brian groaned and his head lolled forwards. He muttered an apology, but John shushed him as he continued to rub his neck. Despite his embarrassment, Brian couldn’t help but to give in to the feeling. There was an occasional sting when John would reach a particularly bad patch, but for the most part it felt quite nice.

Of course, Bender couldn’t keep his mouth shut forever, so he made an attempt at conversation with Brian.

“So, do you know why you’re having pain?”

“No,” Brian spoke quickly. He had a theory, but he honestly wasn’t sure how well he would be able to say anything more than a couple of words.

“Lying. Your ears are red,” John shot back with an incredibly smug tone. He was clearly proud of the fact that he knew Brian’s tell.

“Maybe because- it might have something,” he paused, trying to hold his voice steady, “to do with the fact that I carry around-around a lot of stuff in my bag.”

John pulled away and Brian whined, thinking he might cry. John quickly hopped off the bed and reached to try on the backpack. He winced and tore it off his back pretty quickly, clearly about to lose his balance.

“Dude, there’s no way you haven’t snapped your back yet. You need to lose some of those textbooks. Put em in your locker or something,” John said. His face was tainted with concern, which shocked Brian a bit. He knew that he and John were friends, but he sometimes forgot that pretty much anyone cared about him.

“I just don’t want to risk being late to my classes.”

“Ya know, for a dweeb you’re pretty bad at understanding time. You won't be late.”

Brian didn’t respond, choosing to stare down at his hands. He hoped that John would drop that aspect of the conversation and continue the massage instead.

As if reading his mind, Bender sat down on the bed behind him again. He placed the palms of his hand down on Brian’s shoulder blades, beginning to press them down.

Brian shivered and he realized that wow John’s hands are really big and warm. He bit the back of his hand, trying his best not to groan.

“Loosen up, it’s okay to enjoy this, alright? You clearly feel like shit and tomorrow I want my shop partner to be able to work,” Bender teased him at the end, trying to keep up the cool guy persona while simultaneously trying to comfort Brian. It was weirdly sweet.

“Okay.”

By the time fifteen minutes had passed, Brian felt like he would pass out. He may not have lost his v card, but he was one hundred percent certain that he would never feel better for the rest of his life than he felt at that moment. When John pulled his hands away, Brian flopped back, sinking into his mattress. He felt so calm and warm. He was so ready to sleep that he couldn’t bring himself to care when John fell back on the bed next to him. However, when John kissed him on the cheek, he woke up a bit.

“Why’d you do that?” Brian questioned, the fatigue audible in his voice.

“It-it just felt right,” John stuttered slightly.

Brian nodded, “It really did.”

A sigh of relief escaped John and he pulled Brian onto his chest, who immediately cuddled into him, nuzzling his head in the crook of John’s neck.
“M’ gonna sleep, okay?” Brian said.

John nodded, but it was lost on Brian who was either already asleep, or so close to the brink that he could no longer respond to the outside world. John snorted, carefully shifting himself out from under Brian. He peaked out the window, taking note that there were still no cars in the driveway, and decided to snoop around a bit.
He left the room, making sure to quietly shut Brian’s door behind him, and crept into the hallway. Brian’s parents clearly had good jobs, as the house had an upstairs, though Brian’s room was on the first floor. It was at the end of a hallway, which led to their kitchen. The kitchen counters were polished and white, looked like they hadn’t been used once. John went through a doorway, taking him to a table, presumably the dining table, with four chairs, though only three of them got used as Brian was an only child. As he approached the stairs, he noticed that there were pictures on the walls. Family photos. Brian’s dad was a large looking man with thinning brown hair. In the photo he wore a sweater vest over a light brown button up and small rectangular glasses. He looked like a real character. His mom had curly, pale blond hair, inherited by Brian. She was wearing a white blouse tucked into a lavender pleated skirt. In between them sat Brian. He was wearing a blue sweater and khakis. He was smiling but John could see that he was nervous in the photo. John felt bad for him.

John heard a car engine in the distance, so he quickly walked back to Brian’s room. He peaked out the window to see a vehicle pulling into the driveway. The fat man from the photo, Brian’s dad, got out of the car and walked to the front door. He faintly heard the door open. John opened the window and slipped out. As he closed the window he heard a deep voice shout something about Brian not cleaning the living room.

John hoped Brian would feel up for helping tomorrow.

Chapter Text

So John was pretty sure that Brian was all good.

Brian practically bounced into their shop class. He wasn’t quite smiling, probably fearing that he would get teased for smiling just because, but John could see the small upturn of the corner of Brian’s lip which told John who was, not to toot his own horn, pretty good at analyzing people, everything he needed to know.

“Hey John!” Brian said louder than he normally would have dared to speak, grinning brightly as he greeted his friend. There was a light shade of red dusted across his face, and his freckles became visible as he sat down right next to John.

It was completely unrelated, but John wanted to kiss Brian very hard.

“Hey Bri, feeling better I’d assume?” John asked, the nickname sort of tumbling out. He had meant to call him some twisted version of dweeb or dork, but he had been a bit distracted by Brian’s bubbly and honestly quite adorable mood that he hadn’t even noticed he had used the nickname.

“Yep,” Brian stated, popping the p, “Still hurting but it’s a whole lot better than before. I could definitely use another massage...” Brian trailed off, pleading eyes locked on John’s.

“Listen dorkus, I’m not your personal massage therapist-”

“I know I just meant th-”

“But,” John growled, not appreciating the interruption, “I’ll help you out later if you promise to either start using your locker or leaving some of your textbooks at home. Not doing this every week Bri.”

“Oh. Yeah okay,” Brian responded, happy to know that he was gonna get another massage.

“Okay, good morning class!” It was time to get to work.

Brian practically skipped out of the school building, excitement bubbling up in him as he saw John waiting for him by the bike rack. As he bound up to his friend, it suddenly struck him again how strange he must have looked. He glanced around to see kids that passed going out of their way to avoid getting within a few feet of John, and here Brian was, basically walking up to him like a little dog.

John stood up just a tad bit straighter once he noticed Brian, and Brian’s sliver of anxiety melted away. It didn’t matter if anyone else thought that he looked weird, because John didn’t.

Once he got his bike unchained from the rack, him and John began the trek to Brian’s house, Brian dragging the bike along next to him. His parents were going to be home even
later since it was a Friday and his mom went straight to her friend’s house, and his dad straight to the bar.

As they walked down the sidewalk, Brian shivered, wishing he had worn a hoodie. John took notice, silently offering out his jacket. His eyes said “don’t you fucking dare make a big deal out of this” but Brian saw the gesture as kind regardless, gratefully taking the jacket.

“What do you make yourself dinner when your parents are out?” John asked, striking up a conversation.

“Oh,” Brian scratched the back of his neck, embarrassed. “Well I usually don’t. Can’t mess up the pristine kitchen... er whatever.” He felt John’s eyes on him, suddenly feeling uncomfortable at the attention that usually he would be begging for.

“Well that’s bullshit Brian. You better not be acting like your surprised that you’re pummeled so easily when you skip out on dinner multiple times a week, and probably breakfast too, knowing your shit appetite.” John clenched his fists, turning and punching a mailbox. Then he took a couple of deep breaths, feeling slightly better.

“Sorry,” Brian mumbled. He wasn’t scared for himself, more scared that John would get in trouble for property damage or something.
John just responded by scoffing, then walking slightly ahead of Brian.

“Right, okay,” the blond mumbled, beginning to chew on his fingernails.

When they finally arrived at Brian’s, he put in the garage code and opened the door for John. He made sure to close the garage, then followed John inside. The second the door was shut behind him, he froze. Bender had grabbed his wrist and pulled Brian a bit closer than friendly.

“Hey?” Brian whispered nervously.

“Hey,” John mimicked, glancing down to Brian’s lips, then back up to his eyes. “I’ve been thinking about something that happened yesterday, specifically before you decided to pass out.”

Brian knew what he was talking about. Even though Bender had been the one to kiss him, Brian felt his face flush bright red.

“I was wondering if you would mind one a bit more personal,” John said, though Brian could sense it wasn’t much of a question.

“Yeah, I mean no, like I wouldn’t-” Brian attempted to, but didn’t get to finish responding, because a pair of lips were quite abruptly pressed against his own.

He quickly moved his hands to grip John’s hips, feeling a tad bit self-conscious. He was a virgin, but also had never kissed someone before, so while John was pulling moves that made him weak at the knees, Brian felt like he was just being kissed, not giving much back. He did his best to follow Bender’s lead, but he was never good at copying, it made him nervous. He felt his whole body tingle as John tugged carefully on the tufted of hair at the bottom of his neck.

It was too quickly that John pulled back. Brian knew he was doing so just to make sure Brian could breathe, but he couldn’t help whining loudly in protest.

“Relax virgin boy, let's get you that massage,” Bender teased lightly.

Brian pouted but let John lead him to his own room and pull him onto the bed. He quickly shimmied out of John’s jacket so that John could work easier.

“So, once again something I’ll deny, I looked a bit into massages, and I think I picked up something that’ll help out the giant knots,” John told him, beginning to hunt for tensest areas.

Brian sighed contently, feeling more comfortable than during the first massage.

“Good huh?”

Brian nodded, chewing on his lower lip to avoid whimpering too loudly. John wasn’t having that.

“Stop chewing your lip, makes it taste like blood when I kiss you,” he paused, “Also I quite honestly don’t mind hearing that I’m doing a good job with the massage.”

Brian found it a bit strange that John was beating around the bush when he could practically hear Bender phrasing it a bit differently. Regardless, he did what John said, letting go of his bottom lip.

“What are-are we dating?” Brian questioned carefully, working hard to make sure his voice was even when spoke. He felt Bender pause momentarily, before going back to pressing his fingers into Brian’s shoulders.

“What do you think dweeb?”

Brian mulled it over for a couple of seconds. On one hand, John had never been the one to care about what people thought of him. He had a switchblade and he made it clear that he wasn’t afraid to use it. On the other hand, being gay wasn’t exactly smiled upon, and they lived in Illinois of all places, so maybe John just meant that it was obvious he wouldn’t be caught dead doing anything remotely romatic with Brian. Brian wouldn’t blame him if that was the case, at least get caught with someone attractive, right?
Bender jammed his finger into Brian’s back, pulling him from his thoughts.

“Um, yes?”

“Ding ding ding, we have a winner,” John declared sarcastically. He wasn’t exactly good with words, so rather than saying something mushy, John pressed a gentle kiss to the base of Brian’s neck.

“But what about,” Brian paused, sighing as Bender lightly ran a finger up his spine, “what’ll people do if they find out?”

“Dorkus,” John hesitated, trying to figure out how to properly portray his thoughts, “you’re worth it, okay?”

Brian felt his heart thump quickly in his chest. It was such a simple statement, John probably didn’t even realize it, but to Brian, who constantly felt the need to be better, to be good enough, getting told those simple three words was just about the best thing John could have done.

“So what does dating mean for us?” Brian asked. Even if they didn’t care about other people knowing, which Brian certainly did, what would they do? Go on dates? Where could they go that would kick them out should someone be even a little suspicious.

“Well, everything we do right now, right? And... ya know,” John trailed off, winking. Leave it to him to shift a meaningful conversation to a sex joke in a second.

Brian rolled his eyes, though his face heated up a bit. “I mean do we go on dates? Watch movies and have picnics and that kind of stuff?”

“If you want to then sure I guess,” John responded.

“Yeah... I think I’d like that a lot.”

They sat there for a while, John thoroughly working out all of the knots in Brian’s shoulders, and Brian occasionally attempting to start up a conversation, until John decided that Brian’s shoulders and back were gonna be fine and pulled back.

Brian flopped onto the bed, but Bender yanked him back into sitting position, “Not so fast. We’re gonna make dinner.”

“Um, no?” Brian said nervously. The last thing he wanted was to get in trouble for messing up the cleanliness of the kitchen.

“Um, yes,” Bender mocked, pulling Brian up from his bed, dragging him to their kitchen. “It doesn’t have to be something fancy, just a sandwich sounds fine, right?” Though, as per usual, John wasn’t really asking.

Brian sighed and started getting out bread, peanut butter, and jelly. He didn’t want Bender raiding their pantry and making a giant mess.

“Thank you darling,” John said, then started making the sandwiches. Right on the counter. Brian tugged nervously at the sleeves of his sweater.

John handed a sandwich to Brian, then immediately stuffed his into his face. Brian snorted at the action, grabbing his PB&J from his boyfriend.

“You better eat that whole thing,” John threatened. He had already finished his sandwich, while Brian had only nibbled at his. He didn’t mean to not eat, he just really wasn’t hungry. He also felt strangely guilty for eating dinner when he usually didn’t.

“Okay,” Brian mumbled.

“If you finish it maybe you’ll get another kiss,” John teased. Suddenly Brian seemed to be quite hungry, wolfing down the PB&J. Once he finished he looked to John hopefully. Bender rolled his eyes, but leaned in, lightly pressing his lips to Brian’s.

When Brian pulled away, he sighed, “Okay, let me wipe down the counter.”

“Alright babe,” John responded, ruffling his hair.

The rest of the night consisted of conversations about going out and John complaining about teachers and kids at their school until it was dark and Brian’s mom came home.

“Do your parents come in to check on you?”

“No?”

“Cool, mind if I stay the night then?” John asked. He didn’t want to leave, and he really didn’t want to go home.

Brian shrugged, “You can I guess. I’ll take the floor.”

John laughed, “You kidding me? I come over two days in a row because your back hurts and you’re going to sleep on the wood floor? We’re dating Bri, we can share a bed.”

Brian’s face flushed, “Okay.”

John pulled off his flannel, “Got a pair of shorts for me?”

“Yeah sure,” Brian responded. He opened his draws, rummaging around a bit before finally pulling out a pair for John and well as a pair for himself. He tossed a pair to John, then tugged off his jeans and put on his shorts.

He turned to Bender who was sprawled out on the bed, grinning at Brian. Brian rolled his eyes, laying down across John.

“Goodnight John.”

“Night Bri.”