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- So? How did it go?
Xichen smiled at him, a smile his uncle knew too well. Business smile.
- She is a very charming maiden, very distinguished.
- Will you marry her?
Lan Xichen huffed. Of course he would ask. His uncle should not have dared to get his hopes up.
- She will make her husband a fulfilled man. But not me.
- Xichen-
- I know, uncle. I tried, I swear I did. But I don’t want to get married. Now is not the time for that.
Truth to be told, he did want to get married. Just not to a lady who was after him because her parents forced her. They didn’t even know him, how could they pretend to want him? They knew his status, money, and power. There weren’t a thousand princes in the kingdom of Gusu.
Only two, but one was missing. Rumors said that he ran off with his lover - a male! What a disgrace.
Leaving Lan Xichen on the cold throne, more alone than ever with this bunch of young girls making heart eyes at him.
He left before he could hear more of his uncle’s remarks.
He knew them almost by heart, at this point. « You need a queen » « You need an heir » « You need to take your responsibilities ».
And where was he supposed to stand in all this mess?
He closed the door to his room, chased the servants, asking to be left alone. Who was he fooling anymore, he thought as he took off his fancy blue coat and cape, trading them for an old shirt. His uncle probably knew of his escapades. As long as he didn’t know of their content, it was fine.
He threw a brownish cloak on his shoulders, disheveled his hair. A-Cheng would laugh at him again, and he’d be right.
Even like that he looked far too healthy, far too clean to be anything but of noble descent. When he argued that Jiang Cheng looked at least twice as pretty he’d get an eye roll, and something thrown at his face. But he could never miss the smile and the blush on his lover’s face, and that’s why he kept on saying it.
He jumped out by his window, landing safely into a bush, nearly hitting the gardener who was tending to the peonies.
He owed one to this boy.
He just went one with his activities, pretending not to see him. Which, let’s be fair, was impossible. You don’t just miss a 6’1 guy falling from his window. This gardener was the best secret-keeper of the entire kingdom, Lan Xichen was sure of that. So much that he earned the title of « head-shaker », his reaction when anyone asked him anything. It was even a bit scary sometimes when he thought of it. How many nobles could this guy tear down, including him, just by opening his mouth?
Right now, it wasn’t what was on his mind. Rather the image of shoulder-length black hair tied in a bun by a purple ribbon, of high cheekbones and of a playful smirk.
Really, he thought as he strolled away, trying not to be seen by his guards. How unlucky they had been that both of the royal heirs turned out to be gay.
So much for getting heirs.
****
He opened the boutique’s doors, immediately taking in the sound of chatter and laughter.
People were overfilling the shop, trying to get both a piece of bread and a piece of the pretty vendor.
Jiang Yanli was the owner of a tiny bakery at the border of the town.
Xichen liked the place. It was made of wood, a luxury in those times, the smell of fresh bread overfilling the place at every hour.
Yanli was always there, a dusty apron around her hips, selling what they had managed to bake with the small portion of oat and wheat they had grown. Her ten years old son was helping these days. Xichen had offered to send a teacher for him which Yanli refused, and he could understand. They couldn’t raise the kid like a noble when he would probably end up cultivating the land until he died of malnutrition or sickness. The Jiang family had been so lucky as to be able to open a shop. A true luxury.
The moment she saw him she smiled, wiping her hands on her apron, sending a glare at the back of the shop.
- A-Cheng! The doctor is here, he brought herbs for you.
He heard a shuffling motion before he could finally see a man get into the shop, brows furrowed.
There he was.
Looking as exquisite as ever. Lan Xichen lived surrounded by people in the finest silk and jewels, but none could compare to Jiang Cheng’s open shirt and too-large pants. He was radiant.
- The doc?…oh! He said, upon laying his eyes on his lover and then proceeded to fake cough.
- Oh thank god, I’m sooo sick. I really need to be examined. Could you please follow me?
- Of course.
About twenty seconds later Jiang Cheng was pressed against a wall outside of the shop, away from the crowd, Xichen’s mouth on his, roaming his hands in his hair.
Moments like this made Lan Xichen want to laugh and cry. How could what they were doing be wrong if it felt so right?
A soft hand had just slid on his hips when they heard steps coming their way, immediately parting at the sound. They had to hope whoever was coming their way was blind because both their disheveled state and red lips didn’t leave much room for doubt.
But it was even better than a blind man. It was a kid.
- Jin Ling? asked Jiang Cheng, releasing a breath. - What are you doing here?
- Mom sold out all of the bread so I’m allowed to go and play. What are you doing?
Jiang Cheng and Lan Xichen shared a look before the latter answered.
- I’m checking your uncle isn’t sick.
- Outside?
- Well yes, it’s to make sure he won’t spread his germs to other people!
Considering he had his tongue in Jiang Cheng’s mouth seconds ago this was a bit ironic, but what Jin Ling didn’t know couldn’t harm him.
The kid nodded as if what Xichen just said made any sense.
- Ah, that’s clever. You’re a clever man, doctor.
And just like that, he went away, making the two men burst into laughter.
- When do you think he’ll start understanding that you’re always the same guy coming at the bakery?
- Soon enough. He’s grown up a lot.
- Well maybe if you visited more often you’d be less shocked.
Lan Xichen’s gaze darkened a bit at his words. It’s not that he didn’t want to…
- Hey hey hey, I was joking. said his lover while sitting both of them on the dirt ground. - I know you’re doing your best.
Xichen smiled at him, tucking a loose strand of hair behind his ear.
- My uncle introduced me to another pretendant today.
Jiang Cheng’s face fell, but his gaze didn’t. He was looking right at his eyes and Xichen was pretty sure he could stare into his soul.
- I’m sorry.
- For what?
- Not being a princess.
Lan Xichen laughed, putting his arms around his lover’s shoulders.
- But you are a princess!
- You know what I meant.
He did, for they have had this conversation about a billion times. It was always Jiang Cheng apologizing for not being noble, for not being a woman, for not being able to carry a child. Then it moved on to Lan Xichen apologizing for not being with him all the time, not being able to be open about their relationship, not being the man Jiang Cheng deserved.
That always led to nowhere, so they had decided they wouldn’t talk about it.
It just flew around in the air every time they met, with every word they said, every touch they made.
Worry coated their love and they both wished, oh how they wished things were different. Speculating wouldn’t help though, so they decided to make the most of their time together.
They went back inside the - now empty - shop, the smell of bread still in the air.
- It sold out fast today.
- We didn’t have much in store. I wish we had enough for everyone, but hey. At least it’s enough to feed Yanli and A-Ling.
- You know I can bring you more food if you want.
Jiang Cheng smiled at him, before pecking his lips.
- Yeah, I know. But we don’t want anything.
He seemed to think about it for a bit, before cracking into an apologetic smile.
- Or mayyybe, if you had something for A-Ling? Like candy or something small. He’s been working hard to help us with the shop.
- Of course. I’ll bring you that next time.
- I’ll pay you.
Xichen smiled at him. They both knew Jiang Cheng had no money and Lan Xichen needed none. But in their language, « I’ll pay you » meant « thank you for giving me an excuse to hold onto your hand for the whole day ». And the prince was not complaining.
That’s exactly what they did for the remainder of the day.
Contrarily to what most people thought, living in the castle was not that entertaining.
Sure, you didn’t have to work until your hands basically bled and the skin under your feet turned as hard as a rock.
But you kind off did…nothing.
That’s why there were so many parties, but Lan Xichen despised those more than he despised boredom.
It was all about seeming important and powerful. Hunting for a bride. Not for love, but for the one with the best status or money.
He didn’t know what to think about it.
He used to envy Jiang Cheng’s sister for marrying out of love.
He stopped envying her the day her husband died, around a month after their wedding.
This made him understand that life was unfair no matter where you were born. It was just that some got to live this unfairness longer than others.
And he was ready to go through all of this unfairness if Jiang Cheng was by his side, his calloused hand safely tucked in his own smooth one.
No matter how many times his uncle would pester him to get a bride, no matter how many rumors would state that both he and his brother were fond of men.
He would make the choice of staying by Jiang Cheng’s side over and over again.