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And yet he falls

Summary:

Toni doesn’t feel like he needs or even wants a mate. He’s too busy for love. His life is nice, orderly and controlled and Toni likes it that way. A mate would mess all that up. Being in love would create chaos, not order, and Toni does not like chaos.

[In which Toni doesn't realize right away that he's pining - to Sergio's endless amusement.]

Notes:

Long time no see! :D I'm back with more Fallout Verse. This time it's is Toni-centric and not really something I planned on writing, it just... sorta happened. Toni made me?
As for the time line: this doesn't really fit in anywhere between the earlier stories. This is something of a companion piece that offers glimpses into Sergio's and Geri's developing relationship through Toni's eyes. If you read the other Fallout stories you will recognize some details and scenes, but you don't have to have read other stories for this fic here to make sense.
For those hoping there would be more Sergio-and-Geri fic, sorry. Sergio is a background character in this and Geri barely shows up at all. I hope you'll still like it and will enjoy the little glimpses of them through Toni's eyes - and of course enjoy the Thing with Toni and Fede too! :)
PS: Oh, and, as usual: much thanks to zilldk for betating this!!!

Work Text:

Toni doesn’t mean to fall in love with Federico Valverde. His life has no space for a mate, his life is filled with football and many other duties. Casemiro jokes that Toni has no room in his heart for a mate anyway because Toni’s heart is already filled with his love for sauerkraut and sausages. Casemiro thinks he’s being funny, Toni does not. There might be some truth to Case’s words anyway, because Toni certainly doesn’t feel like he needs or even wants a mate. He’s too busy for love. His life is nice, orderly and controlled and Toni likes it that way. A mate would mess all that up. Being in love would create chaos, not order, and Toni does not like chaos.

Toni doesn’t mean to fall in love with Federico Valverde. And yet that is exactly what happens.

 

***

 

In the beginning Toni doesn’t think much of the boy. Yes, boy, because next to him Toni always feels so old. Federico is shy, painfully so, barely meets Toni’s eyes when they first meet. Toni assumes the boy is intimidated, such a long way from home and suddenly thrust into a team of mostly Alphas and with an Omega captain with a certain infamous temper. Toni politely shakes Fede’s hand, then keeps his distance.

He knows he’s considered as one of the less… temperamental Alphas on the team, but he’s still an Alpha and some Omegas are still intimidated by him. Unlike some, Toni does not enjoy that. If Federico is scared, Toni will keep his distance, easy as that. They can work together as colleagues, they don’t have to be close or be friends, that’s very much not necessary at all for them to do their job. As long as Federico does what is expected of him and doesn’t mess up Toni’s nice, tidy midfield, they’ll be fine.

 

***

 

Federico does not mess up Toni’s nice, tidy midfield. He does the opposite: he makes it better. The boy is fast, eager to work, determined to prove his worth. He’s also selfless enough to pass the ball to his teammates if they’re in better position and selfish enough to force his way through opponents looking for a way to get the ball forward. All good things in a midfielder, especially in this team, and Toni approves. He thinks he likes the boy, even. A little bit. Not enough to actively search him out (and the boy still looks so shy if anyone as much as breathes near him), but still.



***

 

It’s hard not to like the boy, really. Once he’s gotten confident enough to talk to the guys without blushing like a tomato as soon as someone talks to him, that is. Federico is… a tall, lanky boy who sometimes doesn’t seem to know what to do with his limbs, he has an accent that is hard to understand sometimes for someone who does not have Spanish as his native tongue, he likes weird music and he constantly keeps forgetting to close his locker when he leaves. Toni starts closing his locker for him (it’s located right next to his, it just makes sense) and starts keeping an extra towel handy when Federico once again forgets to bring one himself.

Sergio thinks Toni is fussing. Toni thinks Sergio is a crazy person.

Federico blushes when someone hugs him. Alphas at least, he’s better with the Omegas. Toni wonders if that’s an Uruguayan thing, wonders if it’s from the way Federico was raised or if the boy really is just that shy. There are a lot of hugs at Real, people are constantly hugging and kissing all over the place. Toni had to get used to that too - things are so different in Germany, they were so different at Bayern - and he assumes that he, too, was awkward about it at first. Sergio, when Toni asks, assures him that Toni most definitely was awkward. He also assures Toni that he is still awkward and proceeds to prove it by lifting Toni off his feet with the force of his hug. Toni feels his cheeks heat up and curses both his pale complexion and his crazy person of a captain. Okay, so, Toni is still awkward about hugs. Maybe it’s normal that Federico is too. Just to be safe, Toni decides he won’t hug Federico. He doesn’t want to make it awkward for either of them.

 

***

 

Federico nutmegs Sergio during training and the entire team goes crazy. Sergio howls in outrage even while he’s grinning like a lunatic (or a proud Papa, Toni can’t decide), Case and Carva run over to slap Federico’s back so hard the poor boy almost falls over. Toni goes over there to stop them from lifting the Omega onto their shoulders - that’s dangerous! Especially with these two! - and then looks Fede over to make sure he wasn’t injured by these two idiots. Fede blushes and lets him, Case and Carva laugh like hyenas, and Sergio watches with keen eyes and a certain, quite unsettling gleam in his eyes. Toni refuses to scowl and proceeds to ignore the lot of them.

Well. After he’s told Case and Carva off for being too rough on the youngsters, that is. Sergio thinks it’s hilarious. Toni thinks he’s just looking out for a teammate.

Fede smiles at him during the next pass. Toni smiles back before he can catch himself.

 

***

 

Sergio gets mated. It’s… an issue. Toni tries to help as best he can, he’s not sure he’s entirely successful. Sergio goes on mandatory ‘bonding leave’, the team is left unsettled. Toni tries to help with that too, probably also not entirely successful. He’s doing his best though. What else can he do?

 

***

 

Sergio comes back and it’s… not easy. There’s a transition period, the team has to get used to the new status quo. Now and then there are people who try to pick a fight with Sergio, as they would with any other captain or higher-ranking member of the pack, it’s normal. It’s just what things are - you sense weakness in a pack member and instincts make you try to use that weakness to improve your own position. Even more so if you think your pack leader is showing weakness. The strongest pack member usually gets to be captain, it’s just how things go. It’s a bit different at Real, where the pack leader is not an Alpha, of course. And where most guys have been with the team for long enough to know they shouldn’t mess with Sergio. Even if he’s an Omega, even if he’s mated now, Sergio Ramos is not weak. Still, there are some guys who think they can try. It’s not an easy transition and Sergio, during those rare times he lets his guard down, looks tired.

It probably helps that Toni is one of those who doesn’t try to usurp him. He’s very happy with his position in the pack, thank you very much. Not at the very top where there’s too much stupidity to deal with and more attention from the public than he wants, not at the bottom either. Toni’s in the middle, just like during a game, in the perfect spot to see the front and the back and connect the two. Where he’s holding the strings and shaping the attack, the center of everything. Toni likes being here, he doesn’t need to be anywhere else.

 

***

 

When Sergio comes back, the Omegas on the team flock around him. They’re probably worried, unsure how much has changed for them after so much has changed for Sergio. One or two of them might wonder if the same thing could happen to them - ending up mated against their will. To someone you might not want, to a rival, to someone you're supposed to hate. One or two might also wonder why Sergio hasn’t broken his bond. If he’s trapped somehow. If he’s happy.

Sergio acts like he’s irritated by always being followed by a horde of worried little ducklings, but Toni can tell that he doesn’t quite mind as much as he pretends to. Toni thinks this is good for Sergio too. It’s soothing, Toni thinks, especially since the Alphas are keeping their distance now. They’re not sure if they’re still allowed to touch Sergio now, he’s mated now after all. They’re not sure how to act around him.

The Omegas aren’t as hesitant. There are a lot of hugs, still, maybe even more than before. There is a lot of touching in general, it seems like every single moment there is an Omega attached to Sergio’s side. Their captain acts like it’s all a nuisance, but everybody can tell he loves the attention. Toni is happy for him, he really is.

But it rankles a bit that Fede seemingly has forgotten all about Toni’s existence. He hasn’t needed to give the boy a towel in what feels like ages now.

 

***

 

It gets better. Sergio’s back properly, the team is back to normal. It’s still a bit weird to occasionally find Sergio yelling down the phone at Gerard Piqué and then following up his rants with ‘okay, see you later’. That’s something they’ll all have to get used to. Some of the guys do that by teasing Sergio until he gets angry enough to lash out. Toni does it by just ignoring all the nonsense, providing an outlet for Sergio when he needs to rant about Piqué or their teammates (or both), and keeping his head down to focus on work.

Fede is no longer glued to Sergio’s side now. Toni refuses to admit that he’s a bit relieved.

 

***

 

Toni accepts a ball, passes it on. Fede is there to receive it, in exactly the spot Toni wanted him to be, at exactly the right moment, as if he had already known what Toni would do. Fede dribbles forward, Toni follows, making himself available. Fede passes to him, Toni passes back easily, through and around their opponents and it’s easy, it’s like music, a harmony that flows, easy and unhurried, like they have all the time in the world. Never a wrong note, never a stutter, all cogs in the machine turning smoothly, perfect shapes and angles. Fede passes, Toni passes back, and it’s never been this easy with anyone. Toni has never matched so well with anyone before. You could call it art if you were feeling lyrical. Toni isn’t, but even he has to admit this is something special.

 

***

 

They’re on suppressants for every game, heavy duty ones, more serious stuff than for training or daily interactions where you don’t want to give yourself away. Usually around family or mates or close friends you wouldn’t bother (Sergio, he admits to Toni, wore suppressants around Gerard for a long time even after they were mated), but during a game they’re obviously required. Toni appreciates this, he doesn’t like being distracted by an opponent’s or a teammate’s scent during work. But even the strongest suppressants can’t keep all instincts locked down.

Fede gets fouled. He goes down, face twisted in pain. Sergio is right there in the opponent’s face (he’s an Alpha, one of those who enjoy asserting dominance, and of course Sergio doesn’t hesitate at all about getting right into the guy’s face), Marcelo is instantly right in the ref’s face, demanding a yellow. For himself too, if he’s not careful and complains too much.

Toni, meanwhile, goes to check up on Fede. Has his hands on the boy’s ankle to check for damages even before the team medics can get there. There’s a bit of blood on Fede’s sock and Toni’s heart clenches at the sight.

Fede is staring at him. Toni becomes aware that he’s growling.

He abruptly stops himself and stands again, walking a few steps away. Shit. This is… not good.

Fede gets checked over, is declared to be fine. He winces a bit for the first couple steps, limps a few steps more, then continues running as if nothing ever happened. Toni keeps a close eye on him anyway, just to make sure.

And if he later accidentally bodychecks the Alpha who took Fede down? Well, then that’s just part of the game and nothing personal. Nothing personal at all.

After the game Sergio accuses Toni of being a mother hen. Toni ignores him and makes sure he has the ice packs ready. Fede might need them.

 

***

 

Toni didn’t mean to fall in love with Federico Valverde. And yet that is exactly what happened.

 

***

 

Others might try to deny it. Might try to attempt to fall out of love or something similarly stupid. Sergio tries to act like he still doesn’t care about Gerard Piqué, even if Toni knows it’s not true. Even Gerard Piqué himself has to admit he has feelings for Sergio, even if he’s trying to be stubborn about it.

Toni? Toni’s not as stubborn. Or as stupid. He’s in love now, yes. He didn’t plan for this, but it happened anyway. That’s how love is supposed to go, right? So it makes sense that it came out of nowhere. It’s not called ‘falling in love’ for nothing. It’s something you can’t help.

You have to accept it and deal with it. So that is what Toni will do.

 

***

 

Courting Federico Valverde would be so much easier if Toni knew what he was doing. He doesn’t though, and that is a problem. Winging it, as Sergio suggested (who figured out Toni’s… situation embarrassingly and scarily fast) is not an option. 

He researches. Asks his parents. Asks some friends. Gets laughed at. Gets some useful information. And comes up with a plan. A perfect, nice, tidy, well-crafted plan. Sure to work. No, Toni does not wing things. Toni masters things. Nothing can go wrong.

 

*** 

 

As it turns out that’s not entirely true. Courting Federico Valverde would be so much easier if Fede knew what Toni was doing. But he doesn’t, he seems completely oblivious. And that is definitely a problem.

Toni makes sure to stay next to Fede during training. The Omega smiles at him and pairs up with someone else for stretching.

Toni keeps watch over Fede’s belongings in the locker room. Fede doesn’t even notice Toni kept Marcelo from changing all the ringtones on his phone. And Marcelo gets Toni back later by changing his phone’s language into Chinese.

Toni brings Fede food. Fede smiles happily and eats it with someone else, meanwhile Toni has to endure Gerard Piqué feeling sorry for him.

Toni compliments Fede on his skills after a game. Fede blushes and asks if Toni thinks El Mister agrees with that too, he just wants to do well enough for Zizou to be happy. Toni likes Zidane, but right now he wishes their coach wouldn’t exist.

Toni invites Fede over for dinner and a movie. Fede shows up, but he brings Vini. Toni hides a sigh and gets out a third plate. Dinner is fine, but the movie sucks. Vini talks over it the entire time and Fede laughs at every single one of his jokes. He doesn’t laugh at anything Toni says, because Toni doesn’t say much at all.

Toni tells Zidane all about what a great team player Fede is right when the Omega is close enough to hear. Fede gets shy at the praise and runs away to hide. Zidane looks at Toni strangely and Toni has to grit his teeth so he won’t growl in annoyance.

Toni runs to Fede after he’s scored a goal and pushes Isco away so he can be the first to hug the boy. Fede hugs back for a second, but then he jumps into Carvajal’s arms to celebrate Carva’s assist. Carva lifts Fede high into the air and throws Toni a teasing grin. Carva, it has to be said, is kind of a dick.

Sergio thinks this is all hilarious. Toni regrets ever deciding to complain to him. He also thinks Sergio is one to talk: he’s been refusing to talk to Piqué for days now just because his Mate opened a door for him like a gentleman and therefore apparently insulted Sergio’s manhood. Sergio, Toni thinks, is kind of a dick too.

The fact remains however that Fede seems utterly oblivious to Toni’s attempts to court him. It’s getting tougher and tougher to deal with that.

 

***

 

What else could Toni do? He’s running out of options. He’s running out of time, too. Fede is - beautiful. Endearing. Dear. Shy, sweet, smart. Fede is what people would call a catch, and he’s young. In the prime of his life. Fede is… tempting. Not just for Toni. Oh, he’s seen the looks. He’s heard the murmurs. Fede is tempting, and people have noticed. It won’t be long before someone decides to do something about it.

Toni is running out of time. And, to his complete and utter disgust, he doesn’t know what to do.

 

***

 

He’s not in control anymore. His life is chaos. There is worry, doubts, fears. Toni floats, helpless. He doesn’t know what to do. It affects him and he can’t stop it. His form dips. His teammates notice and, worse, Zidane notices.

They have a talk. It’s not pleasant. Toni doesn’t say anything about Fede and Zidane doesn’t say anything about him either. Maybe he doesn’t even know, unlike what feels like most of the team by now. Toni puts his head down and works harder. It helps, his form improves again. But his heart is heavy and his head is full of chaos.

Toni’s not in control anymore. He doesn’t know what to do.

 

***

 

Fede finds him one day, in the locker room after training is long over, after Toni stayed longer and practised freekicks because that’s one of the very few things anymore that will bring peace to his whirling mind. Fede finds him there, after Toni’s shower. Brings him a little gift, a CD of a band he thinks Toni might like. Judging from the kind of music Fede usually listens to, Toni doesn’t think it’s very likely, but it’s still sweet. The CD is wrapped in newspaper because Fede didn’t have anything else, he says. Sorry, Toni. I thought it had to be wrapped, he says, because gifts should be wrapped, but I didn't have anything else.

Toni takes the CD and smiles. His heart aches - so sweet. So unavailable too. His life is chaos… but this makes it a little bit better. He says thank you. He waits for Fede to leave again, like he always does.

But Fede doesn’t. He stays right there, on the bench opposite Toni, leg jiggling nervously. He looks awkward and adorable and Toni’s heart still aches.

“Are you okay?” Toni asks, holding the CD tightly.

“Are - are you?” Fede asks, fiddling with a bit of newspaper. “Because you don’t seem okay and I asked Sergio and he said you’re not . And he - and he said it was because of me. That you’re not okay because of me. And I… I wanted to ask you about that.”

Toni sighs heavily. Sergio. Of course. That meddling fool. “It’s nothing, Fede.” He says, trying to soothe the Omega’s obviously frayed nerves. “Sergio is talking nonsense, I’m fine. I’m just a bit… stressed. But definitely not because of you, don’t worry.”

“Oh.” Fede looks down. His leg has stopped jiggling. His fingers have stilled, they’re clenching the newspaper tightly. “Oh.” He says again, quietly. “I thought - he said - Sorry. I’ll just go.”

He gets up, almost knocking the stack of towels off the bench in his haste to stand. Toni frowns - Fede’s head is down, his neck bowed, his arms hanging limply by his side. He looks… dejected. “Fede, wait.” Toni says slowly and gets up too. Something is dawning on him and he barely dares to hope.

Fede stills, waiting. He’s not looking at Toni, but he’s not running away either. Toni takes a step closer, almost close enough to touch, almost. “Fede.” He says again, slowly. “What exactly did Sergio tell you?”

Fede replies in a whisper, too quiet for Toni to hear. The German frowns, leans in closer. “What was that?”

Fede looks up then, throws Toni a scared, miserable look. “That you’re not okay because you’re pining.” He whispers, Toni has to lean very close to understand him. “That you’re pining after me. Is that - is that true? Toni, is that true?”

Toni flinches, he can’t help it. It’s surprise, mostly (that Sergio would dare to meddle in such a blatant way, that he’d put Fede on the spot like this, that Fede would just come out and say it when Toni has never been brave enough to even contemplate doing that himself), but also something akin to… nerves. Toni Kroos, the Iceman, is nervous. Very, very nervous…

“Do you want it to be true?” He asks, quietly. Fede still looks miserable. Toni wants to reach out and smooth away the worried frown.

“Yes.” The Omega whispers, blushing like a tomato, so pretty... so brave. “Yes, I want it to be true.”

Toni reaches out then, places his fingers on Fede’s face, carefully, oh so carefully. Strokes down gently, smoothing away the worried lines. They disappear under his touch as if they had never been there. Fede blinks at Toni, eyes big and confused and Toni’s heart no longer aches. His mind is no longer chaos, his mind is clear. He smiles.

“It’s true.” He says simply, smiling. “It’s true.”

He leans in for a kiss and Fede meets him halfway.

 

***

 

Toni didn’t mean to fall in love with Federico Valverde. But luckily that is exactly what happened.

 

***

 

Their mating is sweet and unhurried, happy and utterly welcome. Sergio pretends to be jealous that Fede and Toni got to pick when and how and with whom it happened, but he’s holding Geri’s hand while he says it, so Toni doesn’t believe a word he’s saying.

He’s distracted anyway: he’s watching Fede smile.

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