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With only a few weeks left at RAD, you knew what you had to do – or, well, you knew what you wanted to do, but you weren’t sure if you were confident enough or if Levi would even want…
You shook your head at yourself. If Levi wasn’t interested, that would be fine. You just didn’t want to leave here without being honest about how you felt. It would feel wrong, and you didn’t want to go back to the human realm with any regrets. Maybe nothing would come of telling how you felt – maybe nothing could be done – but you’d rather him know that someone (flesh and blood at least) had feelings for him.
Over the course of your time in Devildom, you were bound to develop some sort of feelings for one of the demon brothers. You were all so closed, your lives entangled, and the pacts you made with them early on heightened your intimacy. However, it wasn’t proud Lucifer or brilliant Satan or the others that caught your eyes.
It was silly, dorky, adorable Levi.
You hadn’t even realized it until half the year had passed. It was Levi that filled you up with warmth whenever he got excited about a new anime, Levi who made you laugh when you played video games together, Levi who you could be comfortable and yourself around when you talked about concerts or manga or anything. He might’ve been haughty and standoffish in the beginning, but he wasn’t anymore, unless his fragile confidence got the best of him.
You knew he didn’t think of himself as good as his brothers (with the exception of maybe Mammon), and you hated it. The envy in his eyes was all too apparent when he watched his brothers from a distance. Plus, whenever there was any sort of competition between them, he constantly put himself down. It drove you mad. Why couldn’t he be more confident in himself? Why couldn’t he see what you did, especially when he smiled and laughed?
No, he had to know how much he meant to you. It should’ve been obvious, but this was Levi. He wouldn’t know someone was into him even if they specifically said they were. He’d probably think it was a cruel prank at first, so you had to be firm and make sure he understood that, without a doubt, you would choose him.
Except when you went to his room, your switch in hand, the self-proclaimed shut-in wasn’t there.
You searched the kitchen, the library, and a few other rooms in the House of Lamentation, but he wasn’t there. It was only until Satan mentioned seeing Levi going upstairs an hour ago that you realized where he’d gone. The roof wasn’t a usual spot for him – it was more of Satan’s, Belphie’s and Mammom’s go-to place – but it did offer a lot of privacy and, as you just found out, often forgotten about.
Upon walking up to the roof and peeking out the door, you found Levi standing at the edge, peering out into the darkness into the courtyard. With his headphones on, he hadn’t heard you, so he didn’t move when you slipped onto the roof and made your way over to him. He must’ve been pretty lost in thought, letting out a sigh that didn’t match with the boppy music you could faintly hear.
Once you stood behind him, you anxiously rocked on your heels and then tapped him on the shoulder.
Levi jumped and spun around, his eyes so wide that you almost laughed. “What–?” He blinked once he recognized you, and his shoulders slumped in relief. “Oh, it’s just you.” He paused the music on his DDD and took his headphones off, resting them around his neck in their usual place. “What’s up?”
Now that you were here, it was a lot more nerve-wracking to actually talk with him about how you felt, but you couldn’t back down now. “Well,” you began carefully, “I’m gonna be leaving here in a few weeks, but I didn’t want to save everything last minute. Some things can’t wait, you know?”
“Oh, right.” Levi’s eyes dropped to the ground. “You wanna spend some time openly with…”
“Yeah, I do. I don’t wanna waste anymore time.”
“Then you shouldn’t be spending your time with me.”
You furrowed your brow. “What?”
Levi took a deep breath and looked up at you, a hurt expression flashing in his eyes before he could hide it. “You shouldn’t be with me then. You should be with...whoever it is you care about the most. Spend as much time with them as you can before you leave. I’ll be fine. You don’t need to worry about me. It’s about what you want.”
This was the most open Levi had ever been about his feelings. Even though he wasn’t as arrogant as Lucifer or in denial as Mammon, he was closed-off. He held himself back and kept his feelings to himself so he wouldn’t get hurt. You could understand that. You did the same, at least in the human realm. You weren’t looking forward to going back and being that person, so maybe that was why you were here now, ready to be completely honest.
You tapped your chin thoughtfully. “Hm, how should I let them know how I feel?”
Levi shrugged. “You could hug them or something.”
Stepping closer to him, slowly so he could back away if he wanted, you wrapped your arms around him and rested the side of your face against him just under his chin. “Like this?”
“Ma-maybe a little tighter?” Levi said, his hands hovering a few inches away from your back.
You squeezed him tighter just as he suggested. “Is this better?”
“Yeah, yeah, that’s, um, better.”
“Well, if he’s this stiff when I hug him, then maybe he isn’t interested.”
Immediately, Levi’s arms wrapped around you, his hands resting on your back. “No, no, he’ll be into it, trust me and hold you as tight as you can – stronger than me. You’ll… You’ll know if he wants you too.”
“If he holds me like this,” you reiterated.
“Yeah, if he–” Levi squeezed you tighter in his arms, resting his chin on top of your head. You could hear his heart thumping wildly in his chest, and you smiled. This was exactly where you wanted to be: alone in his arms, the dark sky above you, a light breeze floating around you. It was perfect. “If he holds you like this...”
Without letting go of him, you pulled your head away from his chest so you could look him in the eyes, a curious look on your face. “What if he still doesn’t get it? I mean, this could be interpreted as just a friendly hug – and I like him as more than a friend.”
Levi swallowed, his Adam’s apple bobbing nervously. You could practically see the gears in his brain turning as he tried to figure out what to say. It wasn’t like him to be bold and forward. He’d stammered and blushed through giving you a gift at the party. How could he possibly manage something like this? He wasn’t Mammon who shoved his way into everything, Lucifer who assumed his place was a given, or Asmo who was always wanted.
“You could, um… You could...ki-kiss them…”
You tilted her head. “Oh?”
“I mean, if-if you wanted!” Levi exclaimed, his cheeks burning bright red. “It’s pretty, um, straightforward. That might– That might help him understand.”
You had a feeling that he had finally managed to catch on, but was too scared to fully act on it. Instead, even if he did have an inkling about what you were doing, he would be safe if he pretended like he didn’t know. That way, he couldn’t be wrong or make a fool out of himself. He wouldn’t get his hopes up.
You tilted your head. “But where should I kiss him?”
“Maybe, uh, maybe the cheek?”
Stepping on yout tiptoes, you pressed a quick peck on one of his blushing cheeks. “You mean here? Oh, that seems too friendly still. What about here?” You kissed him on his forehead. “No, I don’t think so. Here?” You kissed him on the tip of his nose, and he jerked back slightly, wiggling his nose, and you giggled. With a slight grin on your face, you leaned forward and kissed him on the neck. “How about here?”
“A-ah,” Levi stammered out breathily. He was actually trembling in your arms, but his hands had slid down to grasp tightly onto your hips, pulling you snug against him, very unwilling to let you go. He wanted you here too.
You pulled back. “No?”
“I think, maybe, the li-lips would w-work,” Levi managed to say.
That was exactly what you wanted, but you still asked, “You think so?”
He swallowed again. “You could try and see.”
Leaning in close and standing on your tiptoes once more with him leaning down to meet you halfway, you paused right before your lips met. Both your eyes were closed as you hovered there for a moment, you to see if he would push you away and him to see if you backed out and left him hanging.
You smiled and murmured, “Like this?” and then closed the last of the gap to press your lips against his.
The kiss was by no means perfect or the best kiss you’d ever had. He was clearly nervous, fumbling at first and gripped your hips hard enough to almost hurt, but you kept kissing him until he finally relaxed. The moment the tension flooded from his body, his kissing became better, smoother, and you hummed happily. You hadn’t expected him to be suave or experienced. Those weren’t any of the reasons why you’d fallen for him.
No matter what, you could be yourself with him, and he could be himself with you, messy and silly and whatever else happened between you two.
After more than a minute of kissing, you gave him a quick peck one last time and then fell back flat on your feet. With a shit-eating grin on your face and your cheeks flushed, you asked, “So, do you think he’d get the picture then about who I like and want to be with?”
“A few more times couldn’t hurt,” Levi said, a rather dazed but pleased expression on his face. “Just to be sure.”
You unwrapped your arms from him so you could reach up and cup his face in your hands. “Of course, just to be sure. I don’t want there to be any misunderstandings.”
This time, he eagerly met your lips first, kissing you much more enthusiastically, and you had to fight the urge to laugh. You could still tell he was nervous from the way his fingers kept twitching against your side, not knowing whether to stay still or move, but that was fine. You had a few weeks to build up his confidence. A few more times for practice couldn’t hurt either and at least now he knew.
Out of all his brothers, you had chosen him. Nothing else mattered.