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"Wakatoshi, are you sure you don't need help?" Tendou questioned the olive haired man. Wakatoshi looked up from where he sat, a big, wide box in his hands.
"I am fine. This is the last of her stuff," Wakatoshi responded dully. The red haired man nodded and then closed the door to his room. The professional volleyball player stared at the box that he had taken out of the closet. It was hidden well under some blankets, and on the surface was written 'To my darling, Ushijima Wakatoshi <3'. This was strange. Why was this here? Wakatoshi opened the box and he was faced with a bunch of envelopes. They were stacked on top of each other neatly. The first envelope that he saw caught his eyes. Open when you miss me. His big fingers picked up the envelope and read the one beneath it. Open on your 24th birthday. Then another, open when you feel lost. And another, open when you have a girlfriend/lover. Before he knew it, his view became blurry as tear drops fell from his eyes and stained the envelopes in his hands.
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Dear Toshi,
You miss me? Awh, of course you do :). You know what? I miss you as well, my love. So much. I miss you so much. But, just because you miss me does not mean you make yourself miserable or isolate yourself from others. I will always be there for you, even if one day I am not there physically. I will always be beside you no matter what, Wakatoshi. My beloved. I love you forever <3
Sincerely, [Name]
Wakatoshi's tears fell freely as he re-read the letter you had written. The letter was a little stale, showing that you had been crying as you wrote this letter for him. He could see the dried drops of tears on a few spots and his left hand clenched his chest, the pain becoming unbearable. Since you've been gone, the apartment had felt so much bigger, and so lonely. He very much missed you. If only you were here.
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Dear Toshi~,
Wow! Happiest Birthday, my love! August 13, the day the love of my life was born into this beautiful world! And you're even 24 years old!!!!! You old man :) I hope your day was the best and that you celebrated with all your friends and family. I am sorry that I will not be spending your 24th birthday with you, but I am, maybe spiritually? haha Just thinking back on your 23rd birthday, it was such a beautiful day. Just like your other birthdays that we celebrated! And, I am sure today is just as beautiful as the last few years. Why you wonder? Well, simply because it is the day you were born and that is beautiful enough. I love you forvever, Toshi <3
Sincerely, [Name]
Wakatoshi smiled to himself. The letters you had written to him always made him happy. Today was August 13, his birthday. He took your advice and made sure he did not isolate himself and he indeed had a great day with everyone he was close to. He even visited you earlier in the morning, updating you on what you missed. It had been a whole two months without you, and it was hard, but he was trying. “Ushiwaka, practice is starting,” Kageyama announced, peeking his head in the men’s locker room. Wakatoshi nodded, not looking back at the black haired setter.
”Okay,” he responded, and neatly folded the letter and shoved it back in its envelope before stuffing it gently in his gym bag. Putting his bag in the locker, he left the locker room and into the gym, where practice with the Schweiden Adler's awaited.
”Happy birthday, Ushiwaka!” His teammates cheered and the olive haired man smiled a little. He could hear your sweet voice wishing him a happy birthday along with his teammates.
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Dear my Toshi,
Feeling lost? No worries, your light is here :) I don’t know what happened, but guess what? I’m right here, and you’ll be okay. You’re Ushijima Wakatoshi, the most powerful spider spiker (ugh I misspelled that. Please ignore that!) that I know! Feeling lost will happen, and it’s okay because nothing is perfect. Im confident that you know what to do and I’m proud of you. Super proud, love. I’ll always be your number one supporter. I hope I was able to help a little. I love you forever, Waka (WAKANDA haha jk ok I’ll stop)
Sincerely, [Name]
Wakatoshi snorted a little, shaking his head side to side. He could hear you reading this in such a goofy voice, and he immediately felt better, the tension in his shoulders disappearing. He didn’t feel so upset anymore. He leaned back in his bed, his right hand holding the letter and his left hand resting on the spot you used to sleep. It felt as if you were right next to him, telling him that everything was going to be okay.
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Dear Toshi <3,
I’m assuming you have a girlfriend now :) and I hope she is making you happy. Very happy. I’m so happy and proud of you, Toshi. How is she like? Is she treating you well? Are you treating her well? I hope she’s able to understand a blunt man like you. And, don’t worry if I’m depressed about it, because I assure you that I’m the happiest person in the world. You deserve all the happiness in the world and all the love. Writing this, I expected to feel jealous and maybe a little petty, but I'm surprised I am happy. And, I am not crying, I'm serious. I know I said at least once that if you had a gf after I died, I'd haunt you, but I lied. I would never do that to you. I only want the best for you, love. I hope the both of you take care of each other forever and never stop loving each other. Just like how I will never stop loving you forever.
Sincerely, [Name]
Wakatoshi could feel his heart warm, and his thumb gently stroked against the smeared dry tear drop on the letter. You lied. You were crying while writing this and you definitely tried to dry off your tear, but clearly failed. "Ushijima, I finished making our dinner," his girlfriend, Yui, announced, peeking her head out into his room. Her long black hair swayed and her emerald orbs shined. Wakatoshi nodded in response and she smiled, her eyes lingering on the letter before walking back to the kitchen. Wakatoshi stood up from his bed and went to his closet to put the opened envelope inside the box. He looked at the left side, where many unopened envelopes laid, and the right side, where some of the opened envelopes settled. He wondered how much there were, but he decided that he would go through it everyday, picking one to read.
"I miss you," he muttered, stroking the box's surface. After putting the box back into the closet, he left to the kitchen, where someone else waited for him. As he arrived to the kitchen table, where his favorite dish lay, he felt nostalgic. When was the last time someone else cooked for him? Looking at Yui, he imagined her being you, smiling at him and telling him to hurry up and eat. But, Yui was not you. . .and that was okay. No one could be you. Wakatoshi scooped up some rice, sauce, and beef, then he shoved it into his mouth. Yui watched in anticipation, waiting for him to speak. "It's delicious," he spoke after chewing the remains in his mouth and looked at her. She smiled, pink dusting her cheeks.
"I'm glad." Behind Yui's head was a picture frame of you, smiling, throwing leaves in the air. Wakatoshi felt his heart pause for a second, and it felt as if you were cheering him on. Cheering him on to a new beginning. He chuckled, startling Yui, who's eyes grew wide, and lips agape.
"Thank you, Yui," Wakatoshi sincerely said. Yui's eyes softened as she watched him eat.
"Yea. . .any time."
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Dear my beloved, Toshi,
Congratulations on your wedding, my beloved! I sincerely wish you and your wife a successful and happy life. You've grown so much, I'm sure. I am so excited for you to start your own family! Your kids will be so cute, and will be super strong! Just like you! Well, I'm sure you looked handsome standing near the altar or will look handsome near the altar. I'm not sure if you're reading this before or after your wedding, but anyways yeah. If only I was able to see that :( But, this isn't about me, so I'll move along haha! Anyways, as you marry your significant other, I hope you love her with all your heart and soul. (You better! >:( better treat your woman well!) And, help around with the house if you can. I know you're a professional athlete, but I'm sure you have time in your hands to help around! Congratulations on your new chapter in life-- building a family <3. The sound of that definitely makes me envious, but oh well :) I love you forever~
Sincerely, [Name]
The olive haired man brought a hand to pinch the bridge of his nose as tears began to well up. You were always cheering him on in the letters, always encouraging him to move along. He felt guilty. Guilty because he was happy, but he knew that you wanted him to be. "Wakatoshi?" Wakatoshi quickly blinked his tears away and looked up from his seat, setting the letter down on the small table in front of him.
"Oh, Tendou."
"You're not even fully dressed. Get dressed," the red head sighed and walked over to the giant. Wakatoshi stood up and began to loop the tie that hung around his neck, while looking in the body mirror. Tendou looked down at the letter and he sighed once again. He knew what they were, since the olive haired man told him. "How many letters did she write?"
"I don't know. I just find one and read it."
"But, it's been a year," Tendou stated, furrowing his brows.
"Yea. . .I know," he muttered, finishing with his tie. "That letter was for my wedding." Tendou lightly patted the man's shoulder, then squeezed it to give him comfort.
"Are you going to keep them forever?"
Wakatoshi didn't answer, and instead, he shrugged on his blazer.
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Dear Ushijima Wakatoshi,
I'm sure you're wondering why I wrote all these letters. Hmmmm, why? Well, because maybe I didn't want you forgetting me :) haha just kidding. Just cause. I did it just because. I wanted you to know that I will be beside you every step you take throughout your life. I don't mean it in a creepy way, but you know what I mean? No, you don't and I'm sure you're confused by what I'm saying, but whatever! You're probably wondering when I wrote these? Well, surprise surprise, I wrote it secretly. Sometimes I wrote them when you were knocked out, so that I could watch you sleep while I wrote, and the other times, just whenever. I know it's a lot of letters, but I don't care. But, this is the last letter that I will write. Wakatoshi, you've made these past five years the best years in my life. We talked for a year after meeting in our second year, and you finally asked me out during our third year of high school :) Every second--every moment I spent with you was the best. I'm proud to say that I'm happy and that I have no regrets. Just having to be Ushijima Wakatoshi's girlfriend was the best thing ever. But, now, I am just a memory, and someone from the past. You now have a loving family, a successful career, and an amazing life, I'm sure. I can't believe I am crying so hard right now, but let me be selfish for a few sentences, yeah? I wish I was the one married to you and carrying your kids. I wish I was the one taking care of the house as you left to play your games. I wish I was the one being there for your downfalls. I wish I was the one helping and watching our kids grow. I wish I was the one standing physically beside you right now. I wish I was the only woman you ever loved. I wish I was alive. But, I know that it will never happen and that's okay. Because I wouldn't wish for anything better than you being happy and striving. I love you Toshi, very much so. Very, very, very much so. I hope you remember me as someone who loved you so much. If only life wasn't so cruel
.
And so, here again, I will wish you a happy, happy long life, Toshi. I love you. . .forever.
Sincerely, me, [Name] [Last] <3
The whole letter was covered in dried tear drops that it became stale and some of the words were smeared. Wet drops fell on the paper as Wakatoshi covered his face in his hands, his elbows on either side of the paper. He cried silently, his shoulders shaking. He'd never forget you, a loving and sincere soul, who only wanted happiness for him. His forever love who will never come back. He didn't bother to wipe his tears, and instead, he neatly stuffed it in the envelope and into the box of opened envelopes. He took one more look at the neatly stacked envelopes and then slowly closed the box. He carefully slid it into the closet and he wiped his eyes. It was as if he was finally saying goodbye to [Name].
Then, he closed the closet, leaving the box in the darkness.