Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

It was a Monday evening - not the worst time of the week to Tine - but definitely not his best today. He lay atop his bed, flat on his stomach, books splayed out around him, struggling to finish an assignment he would have completed eons ago on any better day. 

The problem - the source of his distraction - sat in front of him, at the edge of his bed, a guitar in hand. Sarawat wasn’t really playing anything or practicing, just fooling around with the strings to pass time till Tine was done with his homework. 

Tine would, maybe, be able to concentrate better if he didn’t keep sneaking glances at the boy to make sure he wasn’t being stared at. They’d made eye contact twice, each time making it more awkward, but Tine still found his gaze drawn to him. 

He wasn’t fooling himself anymore - not entirely. Tine knew, somewhere, that he kept looking because he found Sarawat’s form, hunched over his guitar, annoyingly attractive. 

With the way his hair fell into his eyes, his mouth parted spelling out an unclear song, and his long, trained hands running over the familiar guitar strings painted him, Tine knew why the boy had such a huge, crazy fanclub. In doing nothing but lazily playing guitar Sarawat looked so criminally enchanting, Tine didn’t want to look away from him, not even for a second. But when he saw Sarawat fingers pause and hover, he turned his attention back to his books, pretending he hadn't been staring.

This little game they were playing was so silly, it made Tine want to laugh. He let his mouth curve up, but trained his gaze on his books, aware he was being watched. 

How many days had it been since that night - three or four? Time after that seemed to pass both impossibly slow and blindingly fast. 

Ever since Sarawat had confessed - in a way Tine thankfully didn’t need to answer - things between them changed funnily. They somehow spent nearly all their free time together without question, and had become more open with each other.

Well, at least Sarawat had. Tine was still struggling.

“How much more time, nuisance?” Despite the insult, Tine felt nothing but a giddy joy fill him. It was kind of hilarious that both of their nicknames for each other were offensive - and where Tine’s carried malice the first few times, Sarawat’s had never been anything but affectionate and teasing. 

“I don’t know”, Tine answered, honestly. He was never going to get anything done at this rate. 

Sarawat shook his head. “Maybe if you actually wrote something down”, he pointed, accusingly, “you’d get something done.” Although his eyes were narrowed, his lips twitched and Tine anticipated the impending tease with a poker face of his own. “Stop staring at me, I’m not the answer to your questions.”

Tine was unsure if Sarawat was always this predictable or if he’d gotten better at reading him.

Scoffing, in spite of the heat rising up his throat, he stared him down, unimpressed, and said, “Who was looking at you, asshole? Don’t you think you’re a little too full of yourself? It’s not attractive.” Tine could tell the lie in his own words, but Sarawat didn’t have to know.

To his dismay, Sarawat lowered himself to meet his eyes at his level. “But you like it, don’t you?”

Tine scoffed again, and leaned back. “Let me finish my work.” He needed to crank the ac up higher, he was starting to sweat.

“Are you going to finish it today?” Sarawat sat back up. 

“I would have if you weren’t here”, Tine responded, without thinking, regretting it when he saw Sarawat smile.

“I’d be sorry for being this distracting, if I didn’t like your attention.” His flirting set Tine’s tummy ablaze, the flames scorching even his face. 

“Shut up”, he begged, making the bastard laugh.

He looked so cute laughing though, Tine didn’t find it in himself to really be upset. 

Sarawat left him be, so he could focus again, but after struggling for barely a minute more, Tine gave up and slammed his books shut, drawing the other’s attention back.

“You didn’t do anything”, Sarawat raised an eyebrow.

Maybe if you didn’t sit there looking like fucking adonis, Tine thought, instead saying, “I’ll copy it from one of the boys tomorrow, it’s fine. Shouldn't take too much time.”

Sarawat tilted his head, looking thoughtful, but said, “Am I that distracting?”

Tine lifted one of his books, and smacked him. “I’m hungry.”

“What’d you hit me for then?” Sarawat pouted, rubbing his arm. 

“You’re annoying, not distracting”, Tine shot, and Sarawat continued to pout at him, still massaging his arm. Tine rolled his eyes when he didn’t stop and said, “I didn’t hit you that hard, asshole, stop acting like a baby.”

“But it hurts. I’m not built like you”, Sarawat whined. Tine offered him another eyeroll, ignoring the heat he felt at his comment, aware he only knew because they'd seen each other shirtless. “So, what should I do? Kiss it better?”

There. Tine had once again dug his own grave. Sarawat’s eyes brightened as he nodded, looking so happy, Tine couldn’t tell if he was playing or serious. So, he smacked him again, on his back this time. 

“Ow”, Sarawat cried. “Why’d you hit me again?”

“It’s what you deserve.”

“I won’t be mad if you kiss it better.”

When Tine raised his book again, Sarawat drew back, bursting into bouts of laughter. “It does hurt”, he stubbornly defended himself.

“I told you, you deserve it”, Tine snapped. He knew Sarawat must be enjoying the way his face was burning, if the glint in his eyes served as any hint.

“What do you want to eat?” Sarawat put the guitar down by the side of the bed when he stopped laughing, and Tine missed the sound.

“I don’t know. Anything.”

“Do you have anything at home?”

Tine shifted so he was seated by Sarawat’s side, his legs folded underneath him. “Nope. Let’s go buy some snacks.”

“Buy what?”

“Anything. And some coffee.”

“Coffee?” Sarawat repeated. “Now?”

“Yeah”, Tine shrugged. “I was late today, I didn’t drink any in the morning.”

The other boy put his hands behind him to lean back, and said, “You drink coffee everyday?”

“Yeah”, Tine nodded. “You?”

Sarawat shook his head. “I don’t like coffee. I don’t like bitter stuff in general.”

When Tine really thought about it, it made sense. Most of the time Sarawat picked his own drinks, they were sweet.

“Why’d you steal my coffee that day then?” Tine muttered. 

“It was mine.”

“I thought you didn’t like coffee.”

“I ordered it for Boss.”

“You didn’t have to steal back the one you gave me then, you know”, Tine complained.

Funnily, Sarawat looked away from him, snorting. He only never came up with a response when he was flustered, but Tine didn’t know what - oh.

The notion of it was so ridiculous Tine felt he was going to break into laughter, but he asked anyway, not wanting to spare a chance to tease him back. It was like shooting an arrow in the dark, but Tine didn't have anything to lose so he asked, anyway. “Did you take it because I’d already drank from it?”

Tine blinked a few times, but the color rising up Sarawat’s long neck didn’t fade. “Wat”, he was already spluttering giggles. “Did you think that counted as an indirect kiss?”

Sarawat’s ears were positively red and his lame refusal, “No, shut up”, threw Tine into a fit of laughter. 

“Are you in high school?” Sarawat grew redder in response, and Tine understood the appeal of teasing someone. He wanted to smirk proudly like Sarawat, and say something cool like ‘if you want a kiss, just ask’, but knowing him that’d be an axe to his own knees. So, instead he kept laughing, asking him one last time, if he really thought that was an indirect kiss.

Sarawat’s face was beet red, but he met his gaze and snapped, “Yes. Yeah, I did, okay.”

And with that Tine’s laughter died, his own face staining in color. 

Being with someone as bold as Sarawat was terrifying. Tine wished he was just as brazen. 

“You were drinking coffee the other day too”, Tine sniffed, genuinely curious as to why anyone would drink something they don’t like.

Sarawat looked down, kicking his legs, and shrugged, “It was for you.”

“Huh?”

“I wanted to share it with you”, Sarawat clarified, speaking louder. 

“Oh.”

“Yeah.”

He did say he wanted to share things with him. Tine wondered if he was really worth the bitter taste of coffee. 

“Why didn’t you offer it to me, then?”

He finally looked back at him, “Because you suddenly left.”

Right. “You were so engrossed talking to Earn”, Tine turned away, but somehow knew Sarawat was smiling. 

“If you paid enough attention to me, you’d know I speak like that to all of my friends”, his tone was mocking, but gentle. “I had to drink the whole thing because of you.”

Tine snorted, “Don’t you just leave whatever you don’t like?”

He saw Sarawat lift a shoulder from the corner of his eye. “Phukong told me you don’t like wastage of food.”

It lifted Tine’s heart, but he turned around and flicked Sarawat’s forehead. “You should have known that already, idiot.”

Sarawat pouted and rubbed his forehead. “You can kiss this at least.”

He only earned another blow to the arm. “This is all you deserve, asshole.”

-

It wasn’t till they were shopping for snacks, instead of simply ordering dinner, that Tine came around to ask him again.

“What else do you like?”

“Hm?” Sarawat gazed up at him, turning away from a shelf of sweets. 

“Food. Drinks. Besides juices, what else do you like?” Tine elaborated.

In response, the other boy jerked his thumb towards the shelf rack they stood in front of. “Chocolate.”

Of course someone that liked sweets loved chocolate. “Me too”, he smiled, picking his favorites and throwing them into their cart. “What about sour candy?”

“Yep, those too”, Sarawat nodded, almost bouncy. 

It made sense. He was the one that guided them here, after all. 

Tine didn’t have much of a sweet tooth himself, and had never pegged Sarawat to be the kind, so he was honestly surprised to find he liked sweets so much.

And when he didn’t think Sarawat could possibly grow more charming. 

Somewhere, Tine suspected that at this point if Sarawat wore socks with holes in it, he’d find that cute too. 

It made him think of getting Sarawat chocolates everyday, indulging in the fantasy despite knowing it to be both impractical and unhealthy in the long run. But, he decided, getting him a load of candies after a long, tiring day of practice would make him happy, and the picture of a gleeful Sarawat made him grin to himself. 

“We should probably just buy dinner”, Sarawat drew him out of his haze, causing Tine to stare at him blankly. He nodded towards their cart, “Won’t it just be cheaper to get dinner?”

“I wanna watch a movie with you”, Tine responded. He pushed the cart to collect a few drinks before they were ready to leave. “It’ll be more fun this way.”

When he didn’t get a response, he looked up at the other boy, “What? If you want dinner, we can-”

“This sounds better actually. You're right”, Sarawat cut in, and Tine shook his head. As if Sarawat was capable of denying him.

They’d never really watched a movie together before, and Tine didn’t want to part with him yet. He’d be busy the rest of the week, and he knew he was being selfish - they’d end up staying late - but he also knew Sarawat wouldn’t complain, knew it'd make him happier instead. 

So they stacked their snacks and drinks, paid for it and Tine went back to set up a film on his laptop, while Sarawat left to get him coffee. 

He realized he had no idea what kind of films Sarawat watched though, only finding out his favorite foods today. What seemed so trivial seconds ago, suddenly filled Tine with a hunger to learn more about him. He wanted to know his favorite bands, his favorite movies, his kind of films, his favorite dishes, his favorite color - he didn’t even know that yet. 

That’s what Sarawat wanted too, right - to get to know each other better.

So, when he came back with a cup of coffee, that was the first thing Tine asked. “What’s your favorite color?”

Sarawat paused in his step, eyes narrowing just barely. “Purple.”

“And what kind of films do you like?”

“Anything bright and colorful”, he scratched his neck, looking as if he felt the need to explain himself, but Tine kind of understood.

“Musicals are fine then?”

Sarawat nodded, so he got back to searching a film on his laptop. 

“I thought you’d have picked a movie already”, he handed him his coffee. Tine replied without looking up, “I realized I didn’t know what kind of movies you liked. Is a romcom, okay?”

“Yeah”, Sarawat sat in front of him. “I’d be okay with anything actually. I wanted to watch a movie you liked. I’d rather watch your favorites, really.”

Tine stopped and looked at him. He did have favorites he’d love to watch with Sarawat, but they were mostly action comedies or teen romances. “What’s your favorite movie?” Tine asked, after some contemplation.

“Moonlight”, Sarawat smiled and looked away. 

“I’ve never heard of that one, let’s watch that.”

Sarawat cleared his throat. “It’s a really good film - the best I’ve watched till date. But it’s also, uh. Gay?”

“Oh, okay. So?”

Tine didn’t know a gay movie would be Sarawat’s favorite, but it wasn’t all too astonishing. “It’s not a light movie, either”, Sarawat continued. 

But of course, his favorite film was a deep one, while Tine’s was a silly romance.

“Do you not want me to watch it?” Tine laughed nervously. 

“No”, he shook his head. “I do. But I mean. I told you. I want to watch your favorite.”

“Oh.”

He hummed in response, looking ahead. 

“I have a lot of favorites actually”, Tine told him. “I’ll just pick one then.”

“What’s your favorite color?” Sarawat asked, all of a sudden.

“I have a lot of those too”, Tine’s fingers hovered over his keys, as he looked back at him. “Uh, red, white, pink, orange.”

He snorted, “Don’t all of those come under the same range?”

“I thought yours would be black.”

“Because?” Sarawat raised an eyebrow. 

Tine shrugged. “I also thought you liked coffee.” He turned back to his laptop. He also thought Sarawat was an arrogant asshole that cared about his reputation, about his fanclub. “I’m bad at judging people, I guess.”

Sarawat offered him another snort in response. 

Tine decided to go with Matilda. It’d be weird watching a romance with Sarawat for now, the thought of it alone making him self-conscious.

When he was done, Sarawat settled next to him, and smiled. “I’ve seen this. It’s one of my favorites too.”

That made Tine grin - this was one of the movies that always rested high on his list. He thought of changing it since they’d both seen it, but it’d be too much work and anyway Sarawat hadn't asked him to.

He placed his laptop in front of him, and pulled the bag of snacks as the movie began. They were hardly ten minutes in, but Sarawat had already shifted enough so he pressed against his side. Tine bit back a smile, fighting his impulse to glance at him.

It was nice. Watching a movie with Sarawat on his bed, sharing snacks and candies between them. Only once, in between their drinks sharing, did his mind wander to think of it as 'indirect kissing', and he scoffed to himself at how ridiculous Sarawat could be. But that was so cute, and now his little secret, another piece of Sarawat that belonged to him only, that he hid away from the rest of the world.

Half an hour into the movie, Sarawat proved himself to be a bigger dork than Tine had ever imagined. He had yawned and stretched and Tine pictured what would come next - thinking Sarawat would never do that - when he did that exactly, dropping his arm around Tine’s shoulders casually. 

Tine couldn’t help the giggles that erupted from within him. To his remorse, Sarawat immediately pulled his arm back, “What?” He wasn’t looking at Tine, staring intently at the laptop screen, and Tine paused his laughter.

“Nothing”, he answered, a broad smile stretching the corners of his lips. “Wat”, he paused till the other looked at him. “You’re so cute.” He was laughing again, but he didn’t miss the way Sarawat’s mouth fell open, eyes bulged slightly, one corner of his lips moving up once he overcame his surprise. 

It had to be a second nature to Sarawat at this point - reaching out and touching his hair. 

“I like you”, of all the things Tine was expecting, this wasn’t it, his repeated confession making him glow warm. 

“Movie”, he stiffly pointed, turning his own attention back, and Sarawat pulled his hand back, only to slide it around Tine’s shoulder. 

Sarawat was leaning against his bedhead, so Tine settled back against it too, letting just a little of his weight fall against the other boy.

Awkwardly cuddling with Sarawat wasn’t helping him concentrate on the movie, and yet he didn’t want to move. Moving away meant wounding Sarawat too, and he’d rather be stuck in a slightly uncomfortable position, than disappoint him.

When his muscles began stiffening, though, Tine shifted to lean against Sarawat more, so he was in a comfortable position. Sarawat shifted too, holding him closer, and Tine was sure the little concentration he’d retained would evaporate now that Sarawat dropped his head on his shoulder. 

He was warm, both in and out, every inch of skin that met his feeling hotter than necessary. He found it snug despite the heat spreading through him, despite the way his heart fluttered and his stomach flipped, a sense of security enveloping him in Sarawat's arms. Even as Tine watched the familiar scenes of the movie roll, he registered nothing but Sarawat’s slow breathing against him, attention more drawn to Sarawat's spare hand, lying limp on his lap. The urge to take his hand grew with every passing second, but Tine couldn't bring himself to move - trapped by an irrational fear of Sarawat finding it weird, of him taking things too far. 

Tine wondered if Sarawat’s heart beat just as loud, if his own was audible. He’d kind of lost his appetite too, so the remaining of their snacks remained unopened. 

He knew what he’d be dreaming about at night - if he got enough sleep after Sarawat left. 

Chapter Text

Tine walked into the mostly empty music room, and realized that in Sarawat's presence, even if it was just the two of them, the room always seemed full. He hadn't noticed when Sarawat's presence alone began to occupy so much space in his mind, but had grown somewhat accustomed to these new revelations he'd have regarding his feelings in the past few days.

He’d stopped lying to himself about his feelings for Sarawat after his confession, but belatedly registered that the reason he took so long to realize his feelings wasn’t only because he was a boy, but also because he'd never felt this way for anyone else before.

As he walked into the quiet room - hushed whispers of a few seniors the only noise breaking the dead silence - he sat himself down and contemplated.

Being around Sarawat had always seemed so easy to him. He was a boy, so aside from his subconscious impression of Sarawat's attractiveness, he didn't pay him much heed. 

And yet, he remembered when Sarawat touched his hair for the first time, calling him cute, vividly - the memory of it making him smile. Back then, he was only a little weirded out by the other touching his hair, but even then, he didn't mind it as much. Maybe he was always a little attracted to Sarawat, even when he'd never thought himself capable of looking at a boy that way.

Along the way, Sarawat's words and gazes began to make Tine's heart stutter, his stomach flip, his mouth dry. He didn’t know exactly when he'd grown accustomed to Sarawat's hand on his hair, to his arm around his shoulder, but he found himself craving that intimacy at times now. 

He thought of Sarawat wiping his makeup off his face for the first time - then today before they'd parted ways - and his stomach turned at the memory of the affection pooled in the other's eyes. Sarawat had pointedly avoided his gaze the first time, but today, he hardly broke eye contact, leaving Tine feeling as if he would combust there and then.

He missed Sarawat already. But band practice ended late - he had hours to go before he could see him again. 

"Tine?" A soft, familiar voice called out, breaking him out of his thoughts. He looked up to meet Pear's smiling face, her eyes crinkled fondly.

"Pear", he greeted her, grinning back. And then he felt a pang of guilt, of worry, aware that Sarawat wouldn't come here, but an irrational fear spiking his heart anyway. If Sarawat did , for whatever reason, walk in, Tine would break if he made that face again.

Maybe it was apparent he was upset, or maybe she was just observant, but when Pear sat down opposite him, she questioned, "Is everything okay?"

He swallowed. There was nothing between them, he shouldn't be acting this way. He was just so worried Sarawat might misunderstand, it was leaving him sick.

Nodding, he forced his lips up. "Yeah. It's been a while, hasn't it?" He didn’t want to act more of an asshole with her, she deserved better than that.

She didn't seem deceived by his change of subject, but to his relief, she let that slide. "Because you suddenly bailed, so yeah."

His laughter came out tight, even though he knew she was only joking. "I'm sorry, I was busy."

Taking out her guitar, she said without looking up at him. "It's Sarawat, isn't it?"

Tine nearly felt absurd for blushing. "Is it that obvious?" He said, letting out another careful laugh. He didn't have a reason to lie to her, and because she was his closest friend besides the boys, he didn’t have a problem with her knowing. On the contrary, it made him weirdly happy that she could tell already, but it did make him once again wonder if they were that obvious, or if she was that observant.

As if reading his mind, she chuckled and answered his question. "You're both not very subtle. Anyone would be able to tell with the way you look at each other."

Tine pointed to himself. "Me? How do I look at him?" He knew how Sarawat looked at him, all too familiar with the boy’s loudly affectionate gaze now, but where Tine had always wondered if he looked at Sarawat the same, this was the first time someone else pointed that out. 

Pear furrowed her eyebrows as if she didn't understand his question. "Tine. When you made stupid jokes”, she flapped her hands around like she was finding a way to explain herself. “You always look to him first to see if he laughed."

"What do you mean?"

He saw her casually lift a shoulder. "I don't know. Why is it his reaction that you specifically look for to judge if your joke was funny? There’s only been a few times he hasn’t smiled, and even if others did, you looked disappointed. It’s kind of telling." She laughed again, as if realizing her analogy was strange, but he knew what she was talking about and it was heating up his face. "Tine, he's your boyfriend. Why are you asking me this?"

Tine wanted to sink into his hands and hide his reddened face from the world. "We're not. Like that." Boyfriends. He couldn't make himself say that - a simple stupid word carrying too much weight.

"Oh", he heard her say. "Oh, I'm sorry. I shouldn't have-"

"It's okay", he breathed out a laugh. "We're, uh, close, I guess." 

Pear bit her lip, as if she was contemplating, then finally said carefully, "But he likes you. Doesn't he?" 

She continued when she saw his eyes widen. "That day. He seemed upset." 

He’d already decided he wouldn’t hide this from her, so he nodded. "Do you like him", she gently nudged.

"I think."

"You think?" Pear laughed.

It was bothering him since she’d brought it up, and because she hadn’t explained it well the first time, Tine tried again. "What do I look at him like?"

His questioning didn’t throw her off this time. "Tine, you're the only one that can sort out your feelings.” She smiled at him gently, like she understood his predicament. “But if you're asking me - it isn't very different from how he looks at you. Just - you seem a little out of it and he seems sure. If that makes sense."

Tine nodded. He somehow understood what she meant, though not entirely, but he wasn’t going to ask. Being around Sarawat did always make him feel out of it, while the other seemed cocky as usual.

"Are you worried because he'd misunderstand what's going on between us?"

She smiled when he nodded his affirmation. "He shouldn't be. I don't like you that way and", she paused, and Tine thought he saw color rise to her cheeks. "There's someone I like already."

"Oh." Tine didn't feel the disappointment he would have felt if a girl he was pursuing told him that. But he wasn't pursuing Pear, and maybe he hadn’t liked her that way from the start. "Do I know this person?"

She wasn't looking at him anymore, lowering her head meekly, so her hair fell like a curtain around her face. "It isn't a boy", came her soft voice.

That came as a shock to Tine, but, again, he didn't feel anything, only a little happy about it. It delighted him to think she trusted him enough, and he knew it’d be easier to talk to her about things he couldn’t talk about to anyone else.

"Did I ever have a chance with you?" Once the words flew out his mouth, he almost slapped his palm to his face. He was a jester by nature, his brain-to-mouth filter sometimes failing him in horribly inapt times more often than not. 

She looked amused, as he rushed to explain. "I was kind of hitting on you from the start."

"Oh." She chuckled. "I thought you were. But when we were alone, you were always Sarawat this, Sarawat that, so I thought I must have misunderstood."

Her words set Tine's face was on fire again, and this time he let his face drop to his hands. Before he could say anything else, she continued, "And no. Even if you were hitting on me, you, uh, wouldn't have a chance. I don't. Like men." Her pitch lowered with each word, causing Tine to lift his head back up.

He laughed upon seeing her tight smile. "I guess that's one thing we don't have in common." 

His words shocked him more than they surprised her. This wasn’t how he’d imagined coming out at all, despite thinking about it for a fair amount of time now. It had been such a frightening conception to Tine, but when she broke into laughter, her laid-back response eased the knots in his chest. 

That wasn't as scary as he thought it would be to admit, and now that he said it he wanted to repeat it. It was as if a weight he wasn’t even aware of had been lifted off his shoulders, leaving him lighter and giddy, so he fell into laughter with her, somehow prompting her to laugh harder.

He learnt something new about Pear that day - she fell forward when she laughed too hard, her hands gripping the table between them to support her. 

"But we both like girls", she told him when they calmed down, and he grinned wider.

He wanted to know who the girl she liked was, but afraid it'd be too intrusive, he changed the subject. "How's your guitar going?"

The color that settled back on her cheeks was unexpected. "Good. I got a new teacher."

Tine smirked, understanding now. "Is she pretty?"

Pear's cheeks burned darker. "Yeah. Very."

Her sheepish attitude drew out a giggle from him. "So, she's from the club, huh?"

Pear nodded, eyes trained on her guitar. "P'Air?" His guess made her laugh. 

"She's beautiful , but no." She grinned at him. "Guess."

And so Tine began to list all girls from the club, purposely avoiding the one person he knew was already seeing someone else. She looked at him more incredulously with each guess, finally cutting in right before he almost completed his list. "Tine. The girl I walked in here with, remember?"

His heart dropped, Sarawat's words from a few nights back returning to him, and he debated if telling her was a good idea. Shouldn't she know already? 

He didn't want his friend to pine after someone hopelessly, though. "Pear", he started, carefully. 

"Hm", she prompted, when he didn't continue.

Tine pursed his lips, then choked out, "She's seeing someone. Sarawat told me."

His heart sunk lower with Pear's expression. 

"She didn't tell me", her voice came out so small, Tine regretted opening his mouth.

"Pear", he tried, but she shook her head and pulled her lips up. 

"It's okay", she told him, but he knew from experience that it was anything but. "You wanted to hear my guitar, right?" 

She began to play before he could respond, and he felt guilty for how relieved that left him. They were good friends, but still not close enough so he could comfort her. 

Pear’s guitar playing really had improved. He was her teacher just a few weeks ago, and now she played much better than him. Earn was definitely a good teacher, but Tine wasn't sure he'd ever like her. 

"Wow", he whispered when she stopped. "You've gotten better than me." 

She shrugged and smiled, but it didn't reach her eyes, and Tine felt awful again.

"Pear", he tried again, but as if she could read his struggle, she cut him off. "It's okay, Tine. I'm glad you told me. Really. I would have found out one day, anyway, but you told me now so it'll be easier for me. Before I, you know, fall deeper."

He pouted. "It still sucks."

"Of course, it sucks", she puffed out a laugh, and for a minute Tine thought her eyes shone. The way Sarawat's had the night he first kissed him. "I am sad", she admitted, looking down, blinking. "But it's okay, I'll get better."

"Do you like cats or dogs?"

She looked taken aback by his sudden question, but when she laughed this time, Tine was proud to find it wasn’t forced. "You're so random, Tine. Cats. I love them both, but I like cats more."

He decided then that he'd send her cute cat videos to make her happy.

It wasn't until he got home that he realized he'd never taken her number. 

-

Ever since Tine and Sarawat had had that talk, Tine seemed to have daily revelations. 

Yesterday, he realized he'd never taken Pear's number. 

It hadn't even occurred to him, despite the amount of time they'd spent together - and Tine knew then that he'd never been interested in Pear from the start, he always took the number of the girls he was interested in. Pear had become his escape from the confusion Sarawat’s company brought, he was using his typical attraction to girls to distance himself from his growing feelings for a boy. He felt stupid for that - but when he remembered the way Sarawat’s large, brown eyes bore into him as if he understood Tine without him having to explain himself, as if he could see who Tine really was; the way their lips brushed during a game of pocky, and the heat it sent down his spine; the way Sarawat was always so, so confusing, saying one thing and doing another - he went a little easier on himself.

Today, he realized that despite the way his mind blanked when Sarawat asked him if he ever had anything he wanted to share with him, Tine did in fact have a lot of those moments. 

For one, since the night Sarawat first played Scrubb to him, Tine listened to every song, searching for one that could be easily translated to guitar, listened to every Scrubb song wondering what it would sound like coming from Sarawat's fingers, from Sarawat's mouth.

Ever since he first heard Sarawat sing - Tine realized - he's been smitten. It was embarrassing to admit, but in the few weeks they’d known each other, Sarawat had grown much more special to him than a band he’d followed for years. Comparing a person you knew personally to a band would be strange to anyone else, but to Tine they’d always held a very important, special place in his heart. Yet, now, he liked listening to Sarawat sing his favorite songs better than he liked the original versions themselves. 

Presently, Tine had a very chocolatey cake with him, courtesy of one of his classmates. It was their birthday, and Tine had helped them out once, so as thanks, they'd gotten Tine him a decorative slice of cake. 

It was enough for one person, and Sarawat was his first thought upon seeing the cake, so he now waited restlessly for the last of his classes to finish so he could go see the boy.

He had practice today too, so after class, Tine skipped to where his band practiced, aware there'd be no filming today. 

He hadn't seen Sarawat after cheerleading practice the previous day, so there was a bounce in Tine’s steps along the way.

Tine vaguely wondered if he was being too clingy, but when he walked into the room, seeing Sarawat's entire being light up on seeing him, he scoffed that thought off.

To think his presence alone made the boy so exhilarated, left Tine with a million butterflies in his stomach. He wondered how he got so lucky, how someone as beautiful as Sarawat fell for him, liked him for more than a year now.

They walked towards each other, both their steps hurried, a large smile creeping up their features. They met each other in the middle of the room. 

"Hi." Sarawat sounded breathless, odd for someone who'd only walked across half a room. 

"Hey." Tine had rushed all the way here, so his winded gasp was justified.

After they stood and grinned at each other dumbly for a while, Sarawat raised his hand, poking his thumb in the direction of the band. "We have practice." He lowered his arm, tucking his hands into his pockets, and Tine questioned when he’d come to find all of Sarawat’s quirks so attractive. 

In contrast to what he was thinking, he rolled his eyes heavily at the boy. "I remember that, asshole." He pushed up the cake, closer to the other. "I got this, I wanted to share it with you."

Sarawat blinked at him, as if perplexed, narrowed gaze travelling between the cake and Tine a few times. 

"What?" Tine pretended he was annoyed, but Sarawat seemed bubbly under his skeptical appearance. So happy, he was clearly struggling to keep his poker face on. 

"You", Sarawat pointed at him, then himself. "Want to share it with me?"

Tine sighed dramatically. "Didn't you say you liked chocolate?"

He didn't try and stop the smile etching up his face this time, Tine’s own heart swelling as he watched. He had to bite his lip to clamp down the compliment he knew was slipping out. 

Sarawat turned to the others, yelling to inform them he was taking a break, before turning back to Tine, and slipping his hands up his arm to pull him.

Since that night, Sarawat had gotten bold with his affections, never crossing a line, but constantly treading it. He was almost always touching Tine - grabbing his hand, flinging an arm around his shoulder, leaning against him, sitting so close both their sides were touching. He'd even sometimes kick him under the table to hook his foot around his ankle, letting go after only long enough so Tine's heart was throbbing in his throat.

Tine had thought from the start - that Sarawat wasn't good for his heart. And in just this week, since his confession, Sarawat hardly left a chance to prove him right.

He liked it all but. He liked the warmth of the other boy, pressed to his side. He liked the warmth that pooled in his own gut, he liked the rush of adrenaline that ran through him at the slightest of skin contact. 

When they stopped by the table at the end of the room, Sarawat didn’t let go as they sat down, but leaned closer.

“Feed me some”, he almost sounded dictating, and Tine rolled his eyes.

He shifted to pull his arm from Sarawat, but didn’t shrug him off, using it to point at the cake instead. “You have hands, don’t you? Eat it yourself.”

Sarawat pouted and Tine felt half like smacking him, half like squishing his cheeks. He was acting stupidly cute on purpose, and as much as Tine hated it, it was working on him. “I don’t actually”, Sarawat whined, and pulled at his arm. “I’m holding you.”

Tine wondered who the bigger idiot here was - Sarawat for making a fool of himself, or he himself for the way that asshole’s words were making his stomach flip.

Tine pulled at his arm again, unsuccessfully trying to take it back from the other. “Stop holding me then.” He knew his ears must be red.

Sarawat jutted his lower lip out, shaking his head. “Don’t wanna. I like this.”

He did too.

“Ugh, whatever”, Tine snapped, as if Sarawat’s petulance had him defeated. This is what Sarawat had made of him - a pushover - but it was easier to just get this done than to fight with him.

Tine glanced at Sarawat’s bandmates, and breathed out a sigh to find them busy with their own instruments. He moved to open the package, but Sarawat abruptly drew back, causing Tine to turn to him, confused.

Sarawat looked away and rubbed his neck. “They know, so they don’t mind.”

When Tine continued to stare at him, puzzled, he shook his head and jerked his thumb towards his bandmates. “Them”, he explained. “I forgot you won’t be comfortable with this though.”

Oh.

“It doesn’t matter who it is”, Tine returned his attention to the cake. “It’d be embarrassing to feed anyone in front of others.” 

Sarawat laughed. “It’s okay, Tine. I know you’re not used to this boy thing and it’s okay if you mind, I-”

“But I don’t care, Wat”, Tine sighed, frustrated. He was embarrassed about being publicly affectionate, not about being with a boy, and he needed Sarawat to understand this. “I really don’t care about what others think of the person I choose to date.” It was something that had occurred to him, obviously, but Tine never had a problem with different sexualities or genders - he’d just never thought of himself as anything but straight.

There was a twinkle in Sarawat’s eyes, that told him he’d made a mistake somewhere.

“Date?” He smirked. “We’re dating?”

“Hey, asshole”, Tine snapped. “Do you wanna eat or not? I don’t think you can take a break forever.”

Sarawat laughed, while Tine put himself to opening the packaging, praying he wouldn’t tease him further. 

When he cut a piece with the fork, and held it out for Sarawat, he almost winced seeing his own hands, painfully aware the other wouldn’t miss it. But he smiled and bit from the cake without saying anything, then held Tine’s unsteady hand, turning it towards him. Tine didn’t grapple when Sarawat guided his hand to feed him, eating the rest of the cake without an argument. 

A small, silly gesture had lit his stomach on fire, but Sarawat didn't let him indulge in his trance, demanding his attention with more teasing. “Are you afraid of chocolate cake too? Or is it the sharp, plastic fork?”

Tine would have been mad, if Sarawat didn’t duck and giggle at his own question. He was such an asshole but he was so pretty - Tine pondered if that was enough saving grace, or he was just stupid. 

When Sarawat straightened himself, and Tine still hadn’t responded, he reached out and ran his thumb under Tine’s bottom lip, making him jump.

“Chocolate”, Sarawat explained, smirking, lifting his thumb to lick it clean. 

Tine’s urge to sink away returned, he wanted to hide away from Sarawat, and never show himself again. This boy really would be the death of him. 

“Do you have to be like this?” Tine whined, looking at the cake so he didn’t have to look at him.

That asshole only laughed, and as adamant as Tine was to not look at him, he couldn’t bring himself to miss this, so he sneaked a glance. 

Sarawat didn’t seem like he planned to give Tine a break anytime soon, because when their eyes met, he said, “I like you.” 

His stomach, heart, maybe lungs even skipped. “Wat”, he dragged out. “Why did you say that , all of a sudden?”

Sarawat shrugged and looked away, smiling, “Now that I get to say it to you, I want to tell you this all the time.” He met his gaze again. “I like you.”

Tine’s face burned but he knew if he touched the other’s neck, it’d be just as warm. Snorting, he broke eye contact. “Whatever”, he mumbled, wondering if Sarawat had that face on at the moment.

-

Sarawat always considered himself a fairly lucky person. He came from a well-off background, had a kind family, he looked good enough, had good friends that he’d managed to enter the same college with, and he’d always been lucky in love. But a few flings with cute boys in high school didn’t even compare to how he felt with Tine - how Tine’s presence set his skin and organs ablaze, how a single smile from Tine elevated his damp mood, how just seeing Tine once a day left him happy and content. 

He’d never thought he could have more, though. And so now - staring at the red staining Tine’s full cheeks from where he’d lowered his head - Sarawat truly felt like he was the luckiest boy in the world. 

From the first time he’d laid his eyes on him, Sarawat couldn’t tear his gaze off. 

Spending months with Tine, apparently never changed that, turning him greedier instead. It made him want to see Tine more, if not all the time, made him want to memorize every expression Tine was capable of making, made him want to gauge Tine’s reactions in situations no one else could ever put him in. 

The awkward flirting in the beginning was his own lame attempt to gather some of Tine’s attention, but if Tine’s responses were any indication, he was getting better at this.

Smiling to himself, he leaned back, heart in throat as he used his foot to nudge around Tine’s ankle. 

His heart pounded still louder when he said, “Aren’t you going to feed me the rest?”

It must have been the softness of his tone that made Tine snap back to him, and Sarawat was once again struck by how beautiful the boy was. He wasn’t even biased or exaggerating when he said Tine was the most gorgeous boy in the world - his wide eyes, sharp jaw, and full lips, looking like they belonged to a fairytale prince. 

He’d always wanted one. A prince. He used to read a lot of those stories in his childhood, imaging countless times being saved by his own prince even at age ten. 

Tine in his cheerleading costume looked exactly like one, and it made Sarawat yearn for him to cheer for him instead of his own faculty. He really thought that Tine with his wonder-filled eyes could solve anything, that he could dissolve all his troubles and worries with his pretty smile. 

Despite always calling him a nuisance, Sarawat had always thought of Tine as his prince. His kind, gentle, but silly and loud prince. He’d never been in love before, but when he saw Tine laugh, he thought he knew what being in love must be like. The notion didn’t cage him in, like he’d seen and read in teen romances, it was an exciting feeling instead, a constant buzz underneath his skin magnifying his desire to see Tine, to be with Tine, to touch him. He liked this - being in love, that is. He wanted to make Tine fall for him too, he wanted Tine to see him that way too, but mostly he wanted to shower Tine with all the affection he felt for him, to show Tine how loved he was, how important and special he was to him. (And to have all of that love returned, if possible someday.)

He didn’t think a lot before his hand stretched out automatically, soothing down the other’s hair gently.

Tine seemed to be thrown into a daze everytime Sarawat did this, and Sarawat enjoyed the idea of leaving his prince starry-eyed. 

They were broken out of their trance by an annoyed voice, “Hey, Wat?” He momentarily shut his eyes, dropping his hand, and pulling back his foot to face an irritated Earn. “Are you done snacking? We need to get back to practice.”

She’d been in a bad mood since yesterday and Sarawat didn’t know why. She refused to tell him. 

“Yeah, yeah”, he told her, looking at Tine as he stood up. Tine seemed to be ignoring Earn, which wasn’t strange, but made Sarawat feel a little frustrated. She was one of his closest friends, and if Tine didn’t like her it’d be very awkward - he didn’t want that. 

Looking back at Earn made him realize she looked more irritated than usual. He looked at Tine, then back at her. 

“Do you two like”, he tried, “hate each other?”

Earn blinked in shock then shook her head vehemently, while Tine shrugged, “Not really.”

Even Earn could tell he was lying, her eyes widening. She turned to glare at Sarawat as if it was his fault, then said to Tine, “Hey, there’s nothing going on between me and your boyfriend, okay? I have someone else I like, and anyway he’s not my type.”

Sarawat rolled his eyes. No homosexual was any girl’s type. But her use of ‘boyfriend’ made him want to pound her, as he prepared himself to hear Tine’s refusal - but it never came, the boy choosing to pick at something else instead. “Aren’t you seeing someone?”

Earn’s face fell, and she looked down. “I don’t think so”, her voice was pitifully small, and then it all made sense to Sarawat.

“Rejected?”, he asked her gently. He avoided any pronouns, it not being his place to say anything, even if it was to Tine. 

He was aware that Tine was looking between the two of them, confused, but he drilled his attention on Earn. “No”, she shrugged, and it crushed Sarawat to see her so down. She’d been annoyed all this time, but now it was like she’d lost all her fight. “I don’t know what happened. Everything was fine, but she’s been avoiding me since yesterday.”

“It’s a girl?!” Tine’s annoyingly loud voice rang out, and Sarawat thought for a moment that maybe Tine really was a nuisance. A cute nuisance prince, but a nuisance all the same for now. 

He didn’t think Tine was being homophobic, but his heteronormative behavior took him out at times. 

Earn shrugged. “Yeah. It doesn’t matter now, though”, she sighed. “She obviously doesn’t want anything to do with me.”

Sarawat rolled his eyes. He hated that gay people were always overdramatic.

“It’s been half a day, Earn”, he said, pouring his exasperation into his words. “She might be busy or something, you don’t know.”

“It’s Pear, Wat”, Earn snapped back. “She always replies back instantly, as long as she has her phone. Are you telling me she didn’t have her phone for over 12 hours?”

He didn’t have the chance to reply, because Tine’s shrill voice interrupted them again, “Pear?!”

There was something about him saying her name that irked him, but Sarawat would be a clown to be jealous of a lesbian. He was afraid sometimes though, because even if Pear would never be interested in him, it didn’t mean Tine wasn’t capable of falling for her. 

Earn turned sheepish, Tine looked confounded, and Sarawat’s chest was uncomfortably tight.

“Yeah”, Earn looked away, blushing for a reason Sarawat failed to understand. He wondered if he looked as much of a fool admitting his crush to her, and decided that despite how hot his face felt then, he probably still looked better. 

“Oh.” Tine murmured. “Oh. Oh, shit!”

Both of them looked at him comically when he suddenly shouted, and face-palmed himself. 

“What did you do now, nuisance?” Sarawat asked, all too familiar with Tine’s behavior. It was never boring with him, the boy always drawing out different ways to amuse Sarawat each time.

Except, he was the one that told him Earn was seeing someone. She’d kill him if she found out, he really hoped it was something else. 

Tine threw Earn a weak smile, scratching the back of his head, awkwardly. “We were both hanging out in the music room yesterday.” Sarawat ignored the pang of jealousy he felt. “She was, um, telling me stuff. And we were playing guitar. And she got a lot better and I was praising her and she-”

“Get to the point, Tine”, Sarawat snapped.

“Yeah, yeah, sorry”, he really looked like he’d fucked up royally. “She told me she lik-uh, she. We were talking about you and I told her you were already,” his voice dropped clownishly low, “Seeing someone?”

Sarawat smiled at his poor attempt to cover up Pear’s crush but winced when he remembered what was coming next.

Earn looked furious again. “Who the hell told you that?”

He lifted a finger towards Sarawat, slowly, offering her another coy smile. 

When Earn turned to Sarawat, he could swear there was fire in her eyes, “You saved your own ass, asshole, but threw me under the bus?”

Sarawat looked anywhere but at her. “If she’s upset about that it obviously means she likes you”, he dodged, and Tine, to his relief, nodded vigorously in agreement. 

It didn’t calm her down, though, somehow making her madder. “You and your stupid boyfriend! You fuckers really-” Her voice rose when she spoke to them, but she cut herself off, running a hand through her loosely tied hair. 

Sarawat felt awful, but when he looked at Tine, he knew he felt worse. 

So, he sighed and tried again, “I’m sorry. Really. I’m really sorry. But have you ever told her you liked her?”

It didn’t cool her down, but she pouted, deflating lightly. “No.”

“Why?”

She stayed silent for a long moment. Then she murmured, softly, “I don’t want to lose her.”

“Go talk to her then. We can suspend band practice for today.” He looked at Tine. “You have club now, right?” When he nodded, Sarawat continued, moving towards Earn. “She must be there, go talk to her.”

Earn looked at him, finally, resembling a frightened, wounded animal. Smiling to himself, he reached out and rubbed her head, lowering his voice, “He wouldn’t be here today, if I never said anything.”

“You played it off as fake-flirting most of the time”, she scoffed, no malice in her voice. 

He let his hand drop and shrugged, “My bad.”

She finally delivered the smack he’d been expecting. “Fine”, she pointed her index at him, then at Tine. “But if I flop, it’s your fault.”

“It’s your own, actually”, Sarawat rolled his eyes, then lightly pushed her. “Go now. Go, don’t flop. Get yourself a girlfriend. Maybe then you’ll be less annoying.”

He was hit again before she left. 

Tine hung his head when Sarawat turned to him, after shouting at the rest of the band, telling them to call it a day. 

“I’m sorry. I always mess things up.”

Sarawat snorted, but he knew Tine was only looking out for Pear. He was so stupidly beguiling, everything he did made Sarawat love him more. Sitting back next to him, he reached out again to card his fingers through the other’s hair. “You finally forced her to confess, you might have done something right actually.”

Tine didn’t look appeased. “She should have been allowed to go at her own pace.”

Sweet, kind Tine . 

He stopped combing his hair, and cupped his jaw instead, gently lifting Tine’s face so their eyes met. The daze he knew only he caused blended with his distress, making him look both childishly innocent and ridiculously pretty.

“I like you.” It was really the only thing he could think of then, and Tine started to giggle. “What?”

“‘What?’ I should be asking that asshole”, he was laughing now. “Why are you so strange?” Tine fell into him, in laughter, and Sarawat’s eyes followed him, his heart beating louder with each sound that escaped the other. 

Sarawat drew his hand back, afraid he’d burn himself if he held on for too long, his gay, hexed mind suddenly comparing Tine to the sun. He didn’t know when he’d turned so cheesy. Comparing a boy to fairytale princes and the sun, composing love songs for him, yearning for him day and night, melting at the sound of his giggles.

“I’m free now”, Sarawat diverted, something he’d picked from Tine’s expertise. “You want to finish feeding me that cake?”

Tine shook his head at Sarawat’s cheeky request but he was still grinning. He pretended to think, before responding. “Help me practice guitar, then.”

Sarawat was grateful Tine was so dense, still blissfully unaware that Sarawat would conquer the world and give it to him if he asked, puck out every scorching star in the night sky with his bare hands for him if he wanted.

“Feed me first”, Sarawat crossed his hands.

“Why? Are your hands unavailable?” Tine teased, pleasantly surprising Sarawat with the implication his gaze held. 

If he was inviting, who was Sarawat to refuse?

Without any hesitation, he wrapped his arms around Tine’s, using him as an anchor to drag his chair closer, so he could lean against him. He put his head on Tine’s taller, broader shoulder, settling himself comfortably against the boy. 

Tine stiffened momentarily, but it was much shorter than it used to be, melting into Sarawat’s touch quickly.

“I like you”, Sarawat replied, his voice softer now.

He looked up to see Tine’s expression soften, his cheeks redden. 

“How am I supposed to feed you if you’re leaning against me like this?” His voice was so sweet, Sarawat’s stomach flipped. 

He lightly shrugged against him, only snuggling closer in response. 

“Who’s the nuisance now, huh?” Tine’s words were mingled with more laughter.

“I call you that because you’re cute”, Sarawat informed him, effectively shutting him up. 

-

When Sarawat would lie in bed, sometimes he’d wonder if it was really possible to fall in love that fast, that easy. When Sarawat would see Tine’s bright smile the next morning, he’d be reminded that he’d fallen from the start.

Ever since his confession, he’d been more affectionate, and bolder with Tine, touching him with any chance he’d get. It mostly stemmed from his own need to stay closer to Tine, mushroomed by Tine’s increasing reluctance in moving away. Sarawat knew Tine knew he’d never do anything Tine would be uncomfortable with - but in the one week that passed since he confessed, he suspected Tine wouldn’t move away even if he were to kiss him again.

Not that he would. 

But he wanted to do so bad. 

And with the way Tine had grown into his touch, left him craving for more. Each brush of their hands that Tine didn’t shy away from, made the hope blooming in his chest spread faster. Everytime he caught Tine staring at him, the boy’s cheeks painting red as he looked away, Sarawat’s hopes nearly suffocated him. 

He didn’t know how long he could wait till he’d combust - but when he met Tine in the old, abandoned music room for guitar practice - he knew he’d wait for him forever. 

It was the effect Tine had on him - everything that seemed impossible moments ago would seem like a breeze when he met the boy's eyes.

“I don’t have a lot of time, nuisance”, Sarawat offered, instead of a greeting. “So, don’t waste time.”

“Didn’t you only have filming today?” Tine huffed. “You’re done with it right?”

Sarawat reminded himself that it was ridiculous to get high on his assumptions of Tine wanting to spend more time with him.

“I have a match today”, he spelled out carefully, and watched Tine take the information in. He wondered if Tine could predict the request that would follow, if Tine picked up on his mannerisms like he’d picked up on his. 

“Cheerleaders aren’t assigned on this one, so I didn’t know”, Tine was smiling. Softly. Which was different, new.

He hadn’t ever mentioned it to Tine before either, so he didn’t expect him to know. 

“Come cheer for me”, Sarawat reiterated his past (denied) request.

Tine’s lips tipped high and he looked down, soft curls falling onto his face. Sarawat’s hand twitched with the need to move it, to push it back, but he stayed still. 

“I’ll think about it”, Tine, too, repeated his answer, but he was smiling in a way that somehow assured him he’d come.

“I’m teaching you guitar”, Sarawat tried to strengthen his case.

“It’s for the cake, asshole”, Tine scoffed. 

“Pretty heavy price for something so small, isn’t it?” He pulled out his own guitar, and dragged his chair closer to Tine’s.

“Aren’t you the one who said not to waste time?”

Sarawat puffed a laugh and motioned for him to start.

He’d be lying if he said he didn’t enjoy abruptly cutting him out, but Tine’s playing really could be terribly awkward till he got frustrated. 

He wanted to know why Tine was still learning guitar, a pleased flush unfurling within him at the memory of his answer during the music club auditions. He didn’t know if it was a lie, but Tine said that to P’Dim, not to him, so he indulged himself for once, letting himself believe it wasn’t.

I know Sarawat. He is the reason I want to play guitar.

Sarawat let himself be stupidly lulled by those words, his idiot gay heart both wary of being broken and hopeful of its affections being returned.

As he reached out to put one arm around Tine, and guide his fingers with the other, his mouth turned up against his will, heart stuttering at their proximity. He loved that he could hold Tine like this now, loved that the only response he got was a bewildered stare, as if he'd been entranced - which was more often than not, followed by a small smile these days. 

Sarawat suppressed his curiosity until after helping him pick a few new chords, then asked. “Why are you still learning guitar, nuisance?”

Tine looked at him, seeming strangely out of breath. “Because I want to.”

Scoffing, he turned back to the guitar, a little depressed he didn't get the answer he wanted.

“Because you want to”, he repeated. 

Tine seemed to pick on the tinge of disbelief in his voice, and huffed, staring down at the guitar. 

“You play guitar.”

Sarawat snorted, perplexed. “So?”

Tine didn’t look up at him, gazing at the guitar with incredible focus. “I want to play with you”, he said simply, and Sarawat’s stomach flipped.

He seemed unable to keep his thoughts to himself these days, speaking before he could think better of it. “Do you know what you do to me when you say things like that?”

Tine’s gaze flicked to him, then he turned away just as quick, and despite the harsh pounding of his heart, Sarawat felt proud of himself. 

“Stop flirting with me like that”, his face was aflush, his voice hammered. 

It had to be Tine’s behavior that gave him a boost of confidence, and he lowered his head closer, close enough that he could nudge Tine’s throat with his nose. “I’m only being honest”, he mumbled, defending his actions with the audible stutter of Tine’s breathing. 

He kind of knew he’d beat himself up for this later, but so close to Tine, the scent of his perfume, the heat his skin radiated was intoxicating, and before he could think any better of it, Sarawat pressed his lips against where he knew he’d be able to feel Tine’s pulse. True to his guess, Tine’s heart raced against his lips, causing his mouth to curve up against Tine’s soft skin. 

He didn’t want to move, wanting to kiss him more - to kiss the rest of his neck, his collarbone, his jaw, his probably red cheeks, the rest of his face, and his lips - but Sarawat knew better so he reluctantly pulled away. 

If he thought Tine looked winded before, he was certain the boy wasn’t breathing now. 

He’d used this move on countless boys before, but everything he'd ever felt for anyone else, with Tine his feelings were amplified, so the heat coiling his gut now was almost painful. 

“I want you to cheer for me”, Sarawat repeated, stupidly, voice lowered.

Tine sucked in a sharp breath, like he only just remembered to breathe, and Sarawat’s stomach grew tighter, his own breath stolen. He forced down a shudder he felt crawling up his spine, when Tine slowly nodded, not speaking as if he didn’t trust himself to talk. 

Like every other time his phone chose a poor time to ring, Tine's phone blared to life, making the boys jump apart. 

He only nodded once in his direction, avoiding his eyes, rising to pick the call, and Sarawat sat back in his chair, compelling his heart to calm down.

From where he was sitting, Sarawat could see Tine’s hands quiver as they held his phone to his face, and he knew he was no better. His whole body was trembling, the memory of Tine’s pulsating skin fresh against his lips. 

Chapter Text

There was no way Tine wasn't attending the match today, the impression of Sarawat's lips still burnt fresh against his skin. He wouldn't ever be able to guess what was going on in the other boy's mind, but his actions set his lower gut on fire, and now sitting with the rest of the gang more than an hour later Tine still felt hot.

The boys had called him and Sarawat (they knew they were together) to hang out with Man and Boss before the match. Man's apartment was close to the university, so all seven of them had settled in his room. They were planning to go out drinking to celebrate after the match, but Tine found them passing around beer cans already, refusing one himself. 

Everything had been abnormally quiet between Sarawat and Tine since the kiss, but they still chose to sit next to each other. But the rest of the boys did seem to notice they weren't talking a lot, the usual teasing they were subjected to absent today.

One of them was bound to ask though - none of these morons ever understood the art of subtlety - so Peuk broke the ice. "Did you two fight again? Or did you finally make out?"

Tine's face was set on fire while Sarawat puffed an unusually loud laugh and shook his head, making Tine want to hit him. He hated that Peuk had somehow hit so close to the truth, wondering if maybe his friends weren't actually as dense, but he hated how obvious Sarawat had made the answer more.

As he'd expected, the rest of them erupted in a round of 'oh's and cheers, snickering as they pointed to Tine's red face.

Ohm slapped him too hard, saying, "Since when have you been kissing and why did you hide it from us?"

From that night Sarawat came to his place drunk actually, but Tine only smacked him back in response. "We didn't do that, or fight. I'm going to watch his game, what made you guys think that anyway?"

They all exchanged looks, and sniggering again, and Tine didn't like the way Man, Boss and Sarawat looked at each other. Sarawat lightly shrugged as if he understood what they meant to say through eye contact alone, and dread settled in Tine's lungs as he watched Man exchange a glance with his boys, aware those assholes had long sold him out anyway.

"Why are you all making those faces?" Tine forced his voice to stay strong and apprehensive. 

Sarawat leaned back, supporting himself with his arms, and smiled sweetly at Tine. He was really the most confusing boy Tine had ever met - even now he couldn't tell if Sarawat was really a part of this or just as ignorant as he was.

"Tine", Man started, and the dread he felt inched upwards. "How about we made a bet?"

"A bet?" He relaxed a little.

Ohm took on from there. "It's not for you, it's for Sarawat." 

The boy in question raised an eyebrow, and Ohm continued, "If you guys win this match, Tine's yours from then."

"What?" Tine spluttered, his voice shrill. "Wait, what the hell-"

Fong patted his shoulder after Peuk hit him again to shut him up.

Sarawat looked at Tine, and there was something about his expression that placated him, and the shoulders he'd raised defensively, slumped. 

"If we lose", Man added. "Sarawat will let you go."

Unlike the unease he felt from the first condition of their dare, he felt nearly nauseous now. He turned to Sarawat but he wasn't looking at him, and Tine didn't know why he was getting so anxious over this.

"No", he said firmly.

"Tine", his friends called, but he shook his head. 

"Tine, we're just fooling around", Man consoled him, but it wasn't until he saw Sarawat smile at him, did some of his anxiety dissipate.

"Why are you assholes making me bait?" He retorted.

"It'll be fun", Boss shrugged. "Watch Sarawat put his life on the line today." Sarawat coughed while the others grinned at them both, wolfishly.

"Shut up", Tine lamely retaliated, somehow more embarrassed than Sarawat should have been.

-

That fucker really did put his life on the line. Tine had never seen Sarawat play so recklessly, but focused - the way he flitted across the field making Tine's insides queasy.

The other team they were playing against, played rough, but instead of avoiding clashing with them like he should have, he took them head-on. 

At this rate, Tine knew he'd get hurt. His legs bounced as he waited for half-time, taking off in his direction the moment the whistle blew.

"You asshole!" He raised his voice to get Sarawat's attention, because he knew he wasn't supposed to be here. From the bench he was resting on, Sarawat craned his neck to look at him, getting up when he saw Tine's enraged face. The bitch had the audacity to smile.

Tine grabbed his hand and dragged him away from the rest of the team, away from their earshot. 

"Why the fuck are you playing like that? Do you wanna get hurt again? Even I can tell that team isn't playing nice, you won't get away with just a scrape on the knee this time!"

His vexed state and agitated words seemed to have an opposite effect on Sarawat than what he'd desired, the other's smile drawing wider.

"Will you stop staring at me like that, asshole?!"

Sarawat shook his head, a short laugh falling past his lips. "You-", he looked almost incredulous. "Are you worried about me? Because this is cute, I can get used to it."

He'd have to get used to getting hit by Tine too then.

He was worried. Of course, he was worried. He didn't want to see Sarawat hurt, the fear Man's instagram post sent through him returning.

"Look", he tried again. "I don't care about that bet, those idiots are just fooling around." Sarawat titled his head, smiling drooping a bit. "I'm not going to stop talking to you, or hanging out with you just because you lost a game."

"But will you go out with me if I win?"

Tine told himself he wouldn't have blushed if Sarawat didn't look so sincere. 

"If you get hurt I'm not nursing your wounds this time", Tine answered, dodging his question.

Sarawat huffed, smiling as if he'd expected it. "Right. Because you're scared of blood."

"No, because I'm terrified of you getting hurt."

His honesty took Sarawat back, and Tine felt pleased with himself. 

His victory was short-lived though, stomach rolling when Sarawat stepped into his space. He stood so close, Tine could trace the beads of sweat rolling down his face, could count the hair on his lashes from where he stood. 

"What do I get in return?" His words came a whisper, meant only for them two.

The absurdity of his question didn't fly over Tine's head - who would gain anything from not getting hurt - but he gave into Sarawat's game, flicking his eyes down to his lips purposely long enough, before meeting his eyes again.

"What do you want?" 

Sarawat's gaze fell down too, and he turned his head to the side, snorting. "You're saying that as if you'd give me anything."

Tine heard the whistle blow again, Sarawat needed to get back to the field. 

"Win", Tine told him. "And don't get hurt. I didn't come here to cheer for you only to see you wounded."

Sarawat's eyes widened, looking like he just remembered why Tine was here, and Tine turned around, letting him jog back to the field. He only looked back when he'd reached the bleachers, seating himself next to his strangely quiet friends, to find Sarawat staring up at him. When their eyes met, Sarawat threw him a large grin and finally returned to the game.

"You like him." Fong looked perplexed, but that wasn't a question. 

Tine snorted. "Weren't you guys setting me up, just before?"

All three of them stared at him. "We kind of knew already", Fong explained. "But you really like him."

Tine didn't understand how they were confused when they knew already.

"Shit", Peuk spoke up. "Fong's been telling us for a while, so we kept teasing you. But, shit dude, you really-"

"-like him. Yeah." Tine cut in, looking away from them.

"Holy shit, dude", he heard Ohm say, then felt his fingers on his face. "You're really blushing!"

He grabbed Ohm's hand and hit him. "Focus on the game."

"Right", Peuk smirked. "We don't wanna go distracting him from watching his boyfriend."

Tine hated his friends.

-

Sarawat's team (unsurprisingly) won. 

Tine found himself drawn to the way Sarawat played, looking away only when he'd hear his friends snicker and tease him. The footballer carried himself gracefully, running around the field like he owned it. Tine didn't know shit about sports, if he was being honest, his only experience coming from playing virtual games. But if he had to decide, Sarawat was unquestionably the best player on this field.

Like usual, the seven of them went to a club to celebrate, but Tine wasn't in the mood to drink, and apparently neither was Sarawat. They hadn't really talked alone after the game, interacting only within their friend group, and for once, Tine impatiently waited for the night to pass. 

He saw Man and Boss pull Sarawat aside, sure they were concocting something. For their rubbish dare, none of them had said anything, and as much as Tine wanted to be relieved about it, he knew his friends all too well.

Those two had apparently pulled their best friend aside to pour him more drinks, because Tine caught glimpses of them filling up his emptying glasses. He didn't know why they were trying to get Sarawat drunk, but Tine's heart fell. He wouldn't be able to talk to him properly till the next morning then.

His suspicion returned when the two handed him custody of a very drunk Sarawat, pleading him to take the boy home.

But Tine didn't refuse, and after he asked the others how they planned to get home, he dragged Sarawat out of there, assured the rest of them would make it home safe. 

"Did you have to drink so much?" Tine scrunched his nose, but the stench of alcohol wasn't that strong.

He knew something was up, but he played along with it. It was probably just a ploy to get Tine to spend the night at his place, anyway, and he knew Sarawat wouldn't do anything so he was fine.

Pushing the drunk boy down on his bed, Tine rose to get him some water, nearly tripping when his arm was yanked down. 

"Hey, Wat", Tine cried, dropping down to sit next to him. Sarawat held on to his arm, and shifted closer, planting himself snug against the taller boy. 

As he rubbed his head into the crook of his shoulder, Tine watched him fondly. It was cute. This comical side to Sarawat was priceless, and Tine wanted to know if he'd always be this cute from now on, if he'd always be so childish and silly and adorable.

"I know you're not drunk, asshole", Tine told him, the other's body freezing, betraying him before he could offer any lie.

To his surprise, Sarawat pulled himself back almost immediately, like he'd done something wrong. "I wasn't going to do anything, I was just fooling ar-"

"I know", Tine leaned towards him. "Where did your sudden modesty come from?"

Sarawat huffed, relieved, rolling his eyes as Tine laughed.

He didn't look at him, but asked tentatively, "Are you going to go back?"

"It's pretty late." Tine knew this wasn't an answer to anything, and Sarawat looked at him again so he could see his eye roll. "Looks like dawn to me, actually."

Ignoring his sarcasm, Tine said what he wanted to say all night. "You won."

"And I didn't get hurt", Sarawat smirked, proud, but didn't add anything.

"Don't you want anything?"

Sarawat answered his question with a questioning gaze of his own. "What do you have to offer?"

"I told you", Tine didn't stare at his lips this time, but wanted to. "Anything."

"If you really offer me something like that", Sarawat was leaning into him, "you know what I'm going to ask. To-"

"Kiss me till I drop, yeah, I know." The smug smile was peeled of his face but the shock on Sarawat's. He was going to say something else, Tine belatedly realized, something unrelated to kissing.

Tine really needed to learn to shut up.

"I wasn't going to say that", Sarawat started to laugh, "but if that's what you want, okay."

He shut his eyes, cringing as his face flushed darker, Sarawat's laughter ringing in his ears.

He heard the other shift, the mattress underneath him dipping furthur, and opened his eyes to find Sarawat's face closer.

"I'm not going to ask anything of you", he was smiling so softly, it made Tine ache. "I was just afraid to lose you."

"It was a stupid bet", Tine's grounded his octave to match the other's, despite the two of them being the only ones in the room.

"I can't afford to lose you, Tine", Sarawat reiterated, and Tine felt funny hearing him say his name when he sat this close.

"You won't", he promised.

He seemed to be surprising him a lot tonight, so he continued on his streak. "What do you like about me?"

There was no surprise this time, not a beat of hesitation before he answered. "Your smile."

It was Tine's turn to blink at him. "My smile?"

Sarawat shrugged, looking away, "Anyone would fall for you, if they saw you laugh like that, I'm just lucky."

No, they wouldn't, Tine thought. But the idea of Sarawat falling for him because of his smile was so flattering, it filled Tine with a transient confidence in his smile, making him think it was his best virtue now.

"That's it?"

He shrugged again, and looked back at him. "You're loud, pretty, kind, obnoxious, you're kind of-"

"Obnoxious?" Tine was starting to find this funny. "Is that supposed to be something you like about me, or hate?"

"I like everything about you", Sarawat said, maintaining eye contact till Tine tore his gaze away, endlessly flustered in this boy's presence.

"What do you hate about me then?" 

He picked at the sheets, while Sarawat thought of his answer. It made Tine smile. He didn't have to think when listing things he liked about him, but when asked about what he disliked, he took a good moment.

"Nothing", Sarawat finally decided, and Tine's heart lifted. "Though your heterosexuality can be annoying sometimes."

Tine snorted. "It's what I thought I was my whole life, it's not my fault."

"No", he agreed, but Tine knew there was a question coming next. "You're not straight."

After everything, he asks this. 

When Tine's deadpan didn't seem to explain anything, he said, "No, Wat. I offered you kisses if you won because I'm one hundred percent straight."

"I didn't know you were offering kisses", Sarawat was teasing again, but Tine could see the relieved curve of his shoulders. "I wouldn't have refused then."

Tine didn't find the need to point out he hadn't, actually, refused anything, saying instead, "Too bad, I guess."

But Sarawat could be relentless, so he was in Tine's space again. He thought he'd be teased again, but the look in Sarawat's eyes turned darker, almost desperate. "What do I do to make you want me?"

His heart stopped, picking a faster pace when it was beating again. Want him? Sarawat thought Tine didn't already want him, that the ghost of his lips didn't haunt him every night?

He could respond with words, but Tine chose to lower his head, and press his mouth against the base of his neck, the depression between his collarbones. He pulled back to find Sarawat's lips parted, his eyes clouded, and said, "Your heart's beating awfully loud."

Sarawat drew in a sharp breath, and Tine tried to ignore the heat pooling in his gut.

"Yours was, too, in the morning", Sarawat's words were barely above a whisper, but they prickled his stomach.

Tine inhaled deeply, before repeating, "The bet. You won." Sarawat eyes twitched in confusion so Tine continued, "The condition - if you won. Don't you want me to be yours?"

"Tine, I-" It was rare for him to have left the other speechless, but the tightness in his stomach didn't allow him to relish the moment. "I don't want anything you don't, I told you-"

"But I want it too", his voice came out so small, even in the quiet of the room, Sarawat wouldn't have heard it if he wasn't so close. He braved himself, then said, "Be my boyfriend."

Somewhere in the hindsight, Tine felt a little proud that the first time he brought himself to say the word, it was directly to Sarawat. But now with his blood rushing to his ears, and Sarawat sitting perfectly still, he was starting to panic.

"I mean, if you want", he began to rant. "Like, I assumed you did because, you know, but if you-"

Sarawat grabbed his face and kissed him, and Tine was grateful he shut him up before he could say anything more stupid. The all-too-familiar feeling of having Sarawat's lips pressed to his returned, and Tine knew he’d never get sick of it. 

He almost smiled into his kiss, but Sarawat drew back abruptly, and the panic on his face finally kicking Tine into action. He held his face and pulled him back again, pouring everything he hadn't said into his kiss. 

Then, they were both smiling, Tine swallowing two of his giggles before breaking the kiss. 

"You've made a habit out of it", Tine told him. They hadn't kissed for long, but he was still breathless. "Kissing me to make a point."

Sarawat snorted, his hands travelling down to grip his shoulders. "You're so dense, if I don't show you, you won't understand."

Tine couldn't really argue with that, and he didn't want to - it was climbing his list of favorite Sarawat habits.

"I like you", Tine finally said, effectively throwing Sarawat into another daze. "What", he giggled, dropping his head against Sarawat's to pull him out of his trance. "You don't believe me?"

"I do", Sarawat's voice was raspy when he spoke, and it shot another spark down his spine. "It's just. I've wanted this for so long-"

Tine picked from him, and silenced him with a kiss, realizing that to Sarawat, actions spoke louder than words. He'd offer him both then - repeated confessions breathed against the skin he was pressing kisses onto.

When he pulled back, he grinned brightly at Sarawat, who seemed dazed again from the kiss. "Your smile", he heard rather than saw him swallow, "I love your smile so much."

It made him shy, so he sunk his face into the crook of his neck, feeling his throat vibrate when Sarawat forced out an airy laugh. 

"Tine?"

"Hm." He didn't raise his head.

"I'll be your boyfriend. I like you. I like you a lot."

Tine rose, laughing. "I know, Wat. You only tell me that like ten times, daily."

"I want to say it more", Sarawat wasn't smiling, and Tine's heart flipped.

"You can kiss me instead", he murmured, gently.

"You want that?" His disbelief came as a surprise to Tine, he thought he'd made it clear.

"You remember the first night you kissed me, don't you?" Tine asked him, feeling his cheeks heat underneath his palm. Sarawat's hands sunk away so Tine reluctantly dropped his too. 

He wasn't looking at him when he admitted, "Yeah."

"If you hadn't passed out then, I would have kissed you back."

Sarawat's gaze snapped to him. "Wat", he continued, not knowing what else to say. "I like you. I like you a lot more than I've ever liked anyone else, and that made me so scared. It wasn't only that you were a boy - I didn't care about that since the night we kissed, because I knew I wanted to kiss you too - but also that I've never fallen this deeply for anyone before. This - you - scared me, it was terrifying." He didn't add that Sarawat's misleading behavior was a large part of the reason, saving that for another time. He wanted to reassure him, not to scold him, yet.

Sarawat replied in the best way he knew, and Tine let him pull him down to the mattress, thinking his kisses really were his favorite thing in the world.

-

If Sarawat thought he knew what true contentment felt like before, it was because he'd never lain with Tine in his arms, after nearly an hour of making out with him. Tine's back was pressed against his chest, and Sarawat snuggled closer, nuzzling his face into the tall boy's neck.

His own stomach swooped when he pressed a kiss to his neck, and Tine stirred, mumbling, "Wat, sleep."

"Are you really sleepy?" Sarawat asked him. He was still wired himself, and knowing, Tine there was no way he was any better.

The boy in his arms mumbled something incoherent, so Sarawat decided to check for himself, placing his palm flat against Tine's chest, where his heart was drumming.

"Can you really sleep like that?" He laughed, breathing into Tine's neck.

"Wat", Tine whined. 

"Okay, okay. Sleep."

Cuddling wasn't really his idea, so despite knowing he'd struggle to fall asleep, he refused to let Tine out of his arms once he'd wormed his way in.

"You know the night you kissed me?"

Sarawat sighed. Tine wasn't going to let that slide, he guessed. "I was drunk Tine. I'm sorry, but I really wouldn't have done that if I wasn't." Tine hummed, like he wanted to say something, but Sarawat didn't let him. "You remember the night from the bar too, don't you?"

"I wasn't even drunk, just tipsy", Tine admitted, sheepishly. 

"Oh." Sarawat's mouth spread in a pleased smile.

He didn't know what Tine was planning to say, and Tine seemed to have forgotten, so he spoke up again. "I'd dreamt of waking up next to you many times", his confession made his ears burn, and Tine shifted in his arms like he wanted to turn and face him, but Sarawat tightened his arms around him. "But when I woke up next to you that day, I'd never felt more panicked." He almost cried.

When Tine tried to weasel around this time, Sarawat didn't stop him. He cupped his face in his hands, holding and gazing at him so fondly, Sarawat felt like crying all over again, for a completely different reason this time.

"I've hurt you a lot, haven't I?" He sounded so distant, Sarawat touched his hand to bring him back.

Shaking his head, he smiled at him, thinking a little before he said, "You're like my prince."

Tine's laughter fanned his face, and Sarawat relished their proximity once again. How many times had he dreamt of holding Tine so close, how many times had he imagined touching his face, kissing his hair? He could do all that now, but he hadn't fully digested that yet.

"Prince. You called me obnoxious, what about me is prince-like?"

Sarawat grinned at him, shifting his hand to brush his hair. "You haven't read a lot of stories, have you? All princes are insufferable."

Tine laughed again, and Sarawat continued to answer his question. "You're handsome, gentle, tall, well-built, you dress well, you're liked by nearly everyone that knows you. Isn't that what princes are like?"

Tine's eyes searched his face, and Sarawat wondered if he found what he wanted. "You're like an open book sometimes, and other times I can't understand what could possibly be going on in your head."

"Maybe you're just bad at reading", Sarawat offered. Tine rolled his eyes, but his expression was kind. 

He turned around, leaning back so his back was pressed to him again. "I'm going to return all your affection, someday." Sarawat knew without looking, he must be blushing, that's why he turned away.

"You can't possibly", Sarawat told him. He loved him, loved him so much it filled every tiny molecule in his body.

"I'll give you more", Tine was adamant. 

"You can start now, then", Sarawat smirked, peppering kisses down his throat, making Tine predictably jump.

"Hey Wat!" Tine shouted.

Sarawat stopped kissing him to laugh against his skin, and told him, "I'm going to be like this all the time, are you okay with it?" He played it off like he was teasing him, but his stomach grew tight in anticipation.

He imagined Tine rolling his eyes as he said, "It's infuriating, but I don't hate it."

"You don't like it either."

"Do you enjoy being this insufferable?"

"Maybe." Sarawat tightened his arms around him, holding him closer, speaking softly, "This is your last chance to leave. If you don't go now, I'm never letting you go."

"Is that a promise?" Tine's words were equally quiet, but they made Sarawat's gut flip.

Pulling him closer, he slotted his face against Tine's throat. "Yeah. Yeah."

"I'm not going anywhere then."

Neither of them spoke after that, falling into a comfortable silence filled with only their breathing. Sarawat was wondering if his heartbeat was palpable against Tine's back, then remembered something else he'd always wanted to say.

"Tine?"

"Hm?"

"Goodnight."

His body shook with his chuckle, and he took Sarawat's hands into his own, interweaving their fingers together. "Goodnight", he returned, and Sarawat's heart fluttered when Tine pulled his arms closer to himself.

It was apparently stupid of Sarawat to think he wouldn't fall asleep, slumber embracing him soon after Tine's breathing had evened out.

He dreamt of beautiful hands and sweet kisses, happy to know he'd wake up to the same.