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“Ok, hear me out.” Troy starts, arms up and palms facing Abed.
Abed tilts his head minutely to the left.
“We're best friends.”
“I know that.” Abed's eyebrows shift downward but his eyes remain wide.
Troy takes a deep breath. “But I think I. I think I like you as more than just a friend.” Abed blinks multiple times in succession. “Hold on now, I'm—I don't mean I'm in total romantic love with you, though you know I do love you, but more like a bro loves a bro, except a little bit more, except not.”
Abed continues to stare, mouth opening slightly and then closing again.
“Wow, this is so not going how I wanted it to.” Troy blinks towards the ceiling. “There's this thing, it's called a queer tectonic relationship--.”
“Queer platonic.” Abed corrects.
“Dude, you know about it? That makes this so much easier.” Troy plops down onto the couch.
Abed remains standing, no longer blinking. “You're suggesting we enter a queer platonic relationship based on your quasi-romantic feelings for me.”
“Yeah, I think. I mean—yeah. Yeah, I am.” Troy grips the fabric of the couch. “What do you think?”
“Cool. Cool cool cool.” Abed sits next to Troy, a small grin on his face. “I accept.”
Troy lets out a nervous laugh and they do their friendship handshake.
**
“We should establish ground rules.” Abed says, uncapping a pen. “So both of us know what the other is expecting from this relationship.”
“Uhhh, okay.” Troy's voice momentarily goes up a pitch. “How do you feel about being able to see other people?”
“Fine by me. Like you said, we're not in 'total romantic love'. But it would probably be best if you told whoever you're with about us, too.”
Troy nods. “Duh-doi. Any future person I'm with will know that you and I are a package deal.”
“How do you feel about physical contact?” Abed has a notebook out, and he's titled a college-ruled sheet 'Troy and Abed in a queer quasi-romantic relationship.' “We've held hands in the past and we hug often, do you wish to expand on that?”
Troy's eyes widen. “I'm okay—I'm fine with. Whatever. You're more guarded with affection, so how do you feel?”
“Hm. I'm not interested in a sexual relationship, but kissing sometimes and increasing our hand holding would be alright.”
Troy's eyes dart to look at Abed's lips and he thinks, sweet, I've always kinda wondered what that'd be like.
“Are we telling the group?” Abed makes a list of the guidelines they've set so far.
“I dunno, man. Will they understand?”
“Pierce, no. Shirley will most likely pray for us. Britta will say something along the lines of 'Well, I'm happy for you two!' in another attempt to look like a hip queer activist. Annie will give us uncomfortable glances until the topic is changed, and Jeff will just be glad he won't always be the butt of gay jokes anymore.” Abed takes a breath. “Since this doesn't change much except what we label each other, I say we just continue normally.”
Troy shrugs. “Alright. Uh. Does this make us boyfriends, kinda?”
Abed's lips purse. “No. We're not in a romantic relationship, so I don't think that's appropriate, but if you want to, we could use the term regardless. Do you want to call me your boyfriend?”
“Ma-aybe. I'm not sure.” Troy stares at the powered down television. “Honestly, I half-expected you to reject me--which would have been totally cool--and after a day we'd just pretend nothing ever happened.”
“I'm bad at interpreting others' emotions, and sometimes my own. But I've felt more attached to you than others for a while now. At first I assumed it was because you were my first best friend, but I realised that it was because I wanted to be in an even closer relationship with you.” Abed hesitantly touches Troy's hand. “I'm glad that you brought it up.”
“Awesome.” Troy squeezes Abed's hand. “Unless there's anything else important we need to go over, I think we should watch a movie or something.”
Abed pulls away from Troy and grabs a DVD from the entertainment center. “I first consciously felt more-than-friends towards you while we watched Kickpuncher. Do you wanna watch it for sentimental purposes?”
Troy smiles.