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The first day they met, Kai had already broken the rules his father set for him: be normal, stay quiet, and do not make friends.
Spring blossomed, welcoming the new school year. Kai made his way through the halls, skipping the entrance ceremony for finding his classroom. There was no need for the ceremony, he’s seen it every year, welcoming students back, encouraging them to do the best they can in their exams. To Kai, it was pointless. He knew his destiny did not lie in academics. His father had his life planned for him. But something inside Kai threatened to explode – what if he was a normal student, what if he had friends, what if he didn’t have to become an assassin.
“What are you doing here,” Kai froze in the hall. The deep voice sent cracks down his bones. He did not turn around. “You’re meant to be at the ceremony.” The voice started to step in front of him.
That’s when Kai saw the school blazer, the loose tie and awful top button. Kai kept his mouth shut. The boy didn’t like that answer, stepping closer to him. Kai risked a glance at the boy, terribly cut black hair and huge dark bags under his grey eyes. In an instant, Kai dropped his eyes. This boy was handsome.
“Hey, moron, I’m talking to you,” he said.
His heart pounded. “You are not attending the ceremony either.” He should have kept his mouth shut. He’s getting himself into trouble. This father will find out. Kai would-
The boy laughed. Kai froze. Why was he laughing. “You got me there,” he said, sticking his hand behind his head. “You want to skip with me?”
Kai looked at the boy, how he moved his hand in front of him, towards Kai. He wanted to shake hands. Kai ignored the hand, yet nodded his head. “I would like that.”
Kai Satou was not allowed friends. Friends weakened one’s soul. Friends were a liability when it came down to life or death. Keiji Shinoji was a friend.
They were an unexpected pair for the last year of high school. Keiji attracted the popular crowd with his looks and jokes, Kai kept himself out of the action, kept his head down during class and did not go out of his way to make any other friends. Keiji was one friend too many.
Lunch time, Kai would find himself in the abandoned stairwell where the school forgot to refurbish. He waited, sitting on the windowsill watching the crowds gather outside, laughter ringing out. Keiji pushed open the doors, a wide grin on his face and sit on the hard steps.
Sometimes, they wouldn’t talk, simply eat their lunch and enjoy each others presence. Other times, Keiji would test his luck, seeing if Kai wanted to come round to his house and do homework. Today was no different, Keiji threw down his backpack and took out his lunch.
“You ate yet?” he asked, unwrapping his meal. Kai nodded his head, hoping his stomach would not expose him. Keiji sighed, letting his good sit on his knees. “Kai, you’re a bad liar.” He turned to his bag, opening the zip pocket to pull out a small bag of sweets. “Here.”
Kai objected but Keiji persisted. The sweets were good. Tasty. Kai returned his gaze out the window.
“You don’t have to be here for me,” Keiji said. Something Kai learnt about Keiji was that the friendly smile he put on during the day was fake. He couldn’t handle the whole popular because pretty thing.
Kai shook his head. “I want to be here.” Really, the whole eating alone at lunch flew out the window the second he met Keiji. Although, when Keiji offered to sit with him, he pleasantly accepted it.
Kai heard shuffling, turning his head towards Keiji. He was met with his chest. Strong arms wrapped around Kai. Warm. He felt warm. He sat stiff. Keiji after seconds let him go, sheepish about the sudden affection.
“I’m sorry,” he said. Keiji backed up.
The warmth fled Kai. He’d never been held before. His father, his bastard of a father, never loved him, never held him. Kai was touched starved. That would explain the reason he leapt from his seat to plunge his face into Keiji’s chest.
Keiji stared at the boy for a second before he wrapped his arms around him again, tighter. Kai felt warm again.
*
High school was over. The closing ceremony lasted long, farewells rang echoes across the hall. Friends hugged friends goodbye, teachers wished students good luck.
Kai made light work of leaving as soon as the speeches were over. No one cared he was there. No one cared he left. He was another statistic in the pass rate.
The sun was setting, clouds scarce in the sky. Not far from the school lay a park. Kai clutched the rope and swayed back and forth on the swing. The children were ignoring him as they chased each other around.
“What are you doing here?”
Kai recognised the voice, hearing the swing squeak as two hands began to push him.
“I think I am experiencing deja vu,” Kai smiled, head bowed. He let himself be pushed. Cars rushed past on a distant road. “I can’t stand that place.”
“It wasn’t that bad. I got to meet you,” Keiji said. He slowed the swing, making his way around to the front of Kai. “There are so many new possibilities waiting for us next year, Kai. I join the police academy and you, well, we don’t know what you’re doing, but that’s alright.”
Kai entangled his fingers through the rope, looking away. He knew what he wanted. He wanted to be a chef. He could be his own boss. Maybe even cook for Keiji.
“Keiji,” Kai started, he wanted help. He wanted to get away from his father. He looked up to Keiji, the same boy he met last year, the boy who grew into his life. Keiji looked down at Kai with asking eyes. He leaned in close as if that would help squeeze out the struggling words.
“Kai?” cried a voice from across the park. “Hey bastard! What you doing here?” The two moved away from each other, easily spotting the new boy running towards them.
Orange hair under a wild hood, a skirt and a face mask, he jumped the gate and ran up the climbing frame.
“Kai, is this-”Keiji had heard of Ranger before from Kai’s many complaints. He’d never seen the boy, assuming Ranger was some annoying younger brother. He didn’t expect the boisterous flare and over the top behaviour.
“Yes. It’s Ranger.” Kai’s words were cut sharp. His breathing hitched and the colour drained from his face.
“Ooh, who’s this bastard? He your friend?” Ranger slid down the metal slide as if he was surfing. He jumped and skipped towards the two. Ranger tutted, smirking, “you know what Father said,” he bared hid teeth.
Keiji stepped closer to Kai, a defensive hand moving when Kai pushed it away, standing. “Ranger, why are you here?”
“Father’s boring me to death back home. I wanted to come pick you up after school so we can celebrate. But we can’t possibly celebrate without inviting your friend here!”
Keiji scratched his neck, “oh no, it’s fine-“
“Nonsense!” Ranger slung his arm around Keiji and smiled wider. “You have to come.” His hood lowered, casting a shadow on his face. “You will.”
*
To say that Ranger had a way with words would be a complete lie, however by God was he efficient in getting the job done. Kai sat across from Keiji at the family dining table, his father and brother on either side.
Gashu, Kai’s father, had prepared a feast for them. Never did his eyes leave Keiji. He watched the boy, as if gathering information on him. It was incredibly awkward.
The forks hit the plates, the only sound in the room. Gashu didn’t bother to make Keiji feel welcome. He didn’t even have the radio on.
Kai looked to Ranger who was beyond joy at his brothers expense. He was beaming, a huge smile across his face as he gobbled down his food. “I saw them at the park skipping school.”
Kai shot his brother a glare. Gashu raised a brow, “is that so?” Keiji nodded his head. “How long have you been friends?”
Now Kai knew his life was over. “From the start of the year,” Keiji smiled awkwardly. He stiffed in his seat, wanting to impress Gashu.
“Interesting. Kai has never had friends before. I always thought he was a loner. He never brought anyone home.” Slowly, Kai began to die inside. It sounds like Kai chose not to have friends. His father lied to fluidly, he knew Keiji was convinced.
Then Keiji could have shot him rather than dig him in a hole further. “No way! Kai is very popular,” he smiled. He lied. Gashu visibly reacted to this. His body shifted towards Kai. One could mistake it for surprise, but Kai knew that he was in for it later.
“What are you doing next year, Shinogi?”
“I’m joining the police academy. I hope to become a detective.”
Gashu pushed from his chair. “I’ve seen enough. Good evening Shinogi. I will show you to the door.” Keiji shot Kai a confused look, but Kai looked to his barely touched plate.
The second the door closed, Keiji heard yelling. Furious insults and loud banging. He waited by the door. He tested the handle, but Ranger opened it. “Hiya! You still here?” he bounced around Keiji. “Father hates police. Thinks all cops are bastards. He has a point, y’know,” Keiji stepped around Ranger to avoid him, lifting his arms and watching the ginger slither around.
Then Ranger gasped. “I know why you’re still here! You’re one of those cops who get off to seeing people hurt!”
Keiji choked, “what?”
“Well you’re in luck! Swing by tomorrow. Kai can’t see anyone for the rest of the evening.”
Keiji did not see Kai for the next week.
*
“Your hair looks rather suiting,” Kai said as Keiji picked him up from his lecture. Two years had passed and Kai studied food technology at the university close to the police academy.
Keiji had bleached his hair the night before, a brilliant blonde colour, a stark contrast to his natural black.
The two walked through the park beside the university, a beautiful botanical dream. Flowers bloomed all around them, the smell overwhelmingly sweet. The sun baked the ground, Keiji shrugged off his jacked and threw it over his shoulder.
As Kai’s lecture finished early afternoon, there was hardly anyone out. They all had jobs or school to attend to. Kai and Keiji were the only ones to walk the paths. This led to Keiji threading his fingers through Kai’s.
After what happened at that dinner two years ago, Kai had a hard time opening up again. Bruises had not faded and Keiji’s stomach churned with guilt. He had to regain Kai’s trust, and Kai earned his back.
They were not dating, although Keiji’s roommates thought otherwise. Keiji and Kai’s friendship circle grew wider than just the two of them. There were about eight now, and Keiji lived with four of them, a baseballer, two rockstars and some job hopping brat that seemed to have a problem with Kai.
Their friendship had grown that Kai and Keiji were comfortable enough to be more than just friends whilst being just friends. It was something Keiji wasn’t a fan of.
“May I cook you something tonight?” Kai asked. His hair had grown longer since they’d first met. It reached down to his back, but he wore it in a ponytail for his classes. “It is a practical meal I must do for an assignment, I would like to get some practise in.”
Keiji smiled, “yeah, that would be nice. The guys back home would-“
“I was thinking just us, if that wouldn’t be too much of a problem.” Kai looked to the giant green bushes, letting his fingers glide over the leaves as they walked. “My father and Ranger are away and the house feels very lonely.”
Kai lived with his father as his father wished. He would not let Kai out of his sight. Only to class and back. Kai began to lie to cover when he would be with Keiji. Numerous times, Keiji tried to get Kai to move in with him. Kai would not budge.
Kai pulled Keiji to his house. The house Keiji could never forget. As they walked, Keiji took Kai’s bag, carrying it for him as the girls would ask him to do for them in high school. Their hands still locked.
They approached the house, Kai took out his keys and allowed Keiji in first. It smelt like Kai. It smelt like home.
“Jeez, I’m sweating,” Keiji groaned as he stepped into the hall, slugging off the bag and resting it against the door. “Can I change?” he asked, a thumb pointing back to Kai’s room, with his own bag of casual wear. His police shirt was rolled to his elbows.
Kai nodded, heading towards the kitchen. He switched the radio on, old Japanese pop filled the room. He began to prepare the meal when the shrill of a phone distrusted his flow. Keiji shouted for Kai to answer.
“Good afternoon, Sou,” he said. He nestled the phone between his shoulder and ear and set off to prepare cooking.
“Oh, hey Mum,” he was used to Kai answering the phone, and he liked to call Kai his mother as it matched Keiji’s father like attitude. The man was only a year younger than the two which made Kai laugh. “Is dad there, I wanna use his TV to play a video game with Q-Taro. He smashed his up.” This was followed by an angry Q-Taro pleading to Kai that he didn’t smash the TV.
Kai hummed, setting a pan on the hob. He lifted an egg to crack when a hand snaked around his front, the phone plucked from his ear as Keiji’s body pressed on Kai’s back.
“Do not let Sou anywhere near my TV. Tell him to piss off and buy a new one. I know he smashed it, Q-Taro wouldn’t call if he did it.” He hung up and wrapped the other arm around Kai.
“I thought you said you were getting changed,” Kai said, his hand reaching for another egg. Keiji stole it and ate it. “I told you to stop that.”
Keiji shrugged, burrowing his nose in Kai’s neck. “It’s tasty.”
Keiji twisted Kai around to face him. Kai protested with the cooking egg but Keiji didn’t budge. He was taller than Kai, something he took pride in. Kai had to strain his neck to look at Keiji.
“Tell me about the recipe,” Keiji said.
Kai took off. He rambled on about the food, reading out every action he completed. Sometimes he went off on tangents about his classmates. Sometimes he cracked a joke. Keiji listened to it all.
“-I purchased this meat in the store this morning, I believe it’s something to your taste. I plan to marinate it and-” Keiji grabbed Kai’s face, with the lightest touch, he moved the man closer to himself. He tipped Kai’s chin up and met him halfway.
A delicate kiss. Keiji knew it was a risk, but he was confident enough that it would work. Kai let his eyelids flutter to a close. His face burned bright and he shifted to find a better angle. Keiji opened an eye, and it was confirmed.
After a moment, Keiji pulled ever so slightly away. “Date me?” he asked. His heart pounded in his rib cage.
“Do you even need to ask,” Kai said, stepping on the top of his toes to pull Keiji in for another kiss.
He wrapped his arms around Keiji’s neck, and Keiji wrapped his around Kai’s slim waist. They leaned against the kitchen cabinet. The old school music drifting through the air.
That night, as they lay on the sofa, mindless reruns playing on the television, Kai reached over for a notepad. He scrawled a note to his father. He was leaving with Keiji. There was no contact information. Kai took only his pots and pans, stuffing them into a bag.
For three years, he’d been with this man, strangers to friends to lovers. Keiji was warm. Kai loved it. He loved Keiji.
There was no protest in Keiji’s apartment as to the long awaited arrival of his boyfriend. Kai belonged there, free to do as he wanted. He would not become an assassin, but rather, a cook.
In the night, a few months later, Keiji left for a business trip. Gashu Satou was found arrested for manslaughter and trafficking. Ranger fled somewhere into the country.
Keiji came home with scars, as well as a ring. He proposed to Kai that night.
The first day they met, Kai broke the rules his father set out for him: be normal, stay quiet and do not make friends. The first day they met, those rules were thrown from the window. The first day they met, Kai fell in love with Keiji.