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It had to be around 3AM when Mayoi crept over to the side of the bunk bed. All of his roommates were asleep, curtains drawn and not a single sound in the room. He tentatively pulled the curtain blocking Tatsumi’s bed to the side; he wasn’t cute or small like Aira, but Mayoi found himself drawn to him lately. He was sleeping soundly, a Bible beside his pillow.
Tatsumi never treated him badly, if anything, he was too nice for his own good. Mayoi never knew what to do when he called him beautiful, or when Mayoi did something awkward and Tatsumi didn’t look down on him for it. Lately he thought it was almost kind of exciting when they were the first two at Alkaloid practice and they had the room all to themselves. His palms were sweaty just thinking about it. He wanted to stay beside Tatsumi forever, no matter what.
Was it creepy to watch Tatsumi sleep like this?
Maybe
The other day Tatsumi mentioned he had thought of giving up being an idol after his injury, and Mayoi couldn’t imagine an Alkaloid without Tatsumi. Everything about him was perfect. His skin was smooth and beautiful, soft hair framed his face, and there were those two charming moles on his cheek. His heart was beating fast as he watched Tatsumi turn on his side; he was closer to Mayoi now, and if he reached out he might even be able to touch his hair.
Touching seemed like too much… like Mayoi was at a museum and Tatsumi was the fine art.
Mayoi exhaled a breath he didn’t even realize he was holding in, his face flushed. He had no idea how long he was staring, taking in every detail of Tatsumi’s sleeping face, but he felt the hairs on the back of his neck stand on end as Tatsumi slowly opened his eyes.
“Mayoi-san...?”
“H-Hi--“ Mayoi gasped, “I’m sorry! I’m just a disgusting creature, I shouldn’t have even been born an--”
His words seemed to have no effect on a sleepy Tatsumi, they went in one ear and out the other; “You can’t sleep Mayoi-san?” he asked with a yawn. Mayoi only whimpered in response, and Tatsumi rubbed his eyes, “Shh, you’ll wake the others.”
“I’m sorry!” Mayoi apologized, but in a whisper this time. He looked to Aira and Hiiro’s bunks in a panic, but they didn’t seem to be stirring. Dear god, he couldn’t imagine if the two of them caught him too.
Tatsumi shushed him, bed creaking slightly as he sat up, gesturing to the ladder to the top bunk, “If you can’t fall asleep, you can join me.”
Join him? Mayoi’s body would probably combust if he was that close to Tatsumi, but Tatsumi was welcoming him with open arms and Mayoi found his legs moving up the bunk bed ladder before he could say no. Tatsumi moved the curtain aside for Mayoi, sliding it back when the other man had joined him and cloaking them both in darkness.
A single sized bed had never felt so cramped as Mayoi tried to position himself as far from Tatsumi as possible. All of his efforts ended up in vain as Tatsumi tucked him in, his arm lingering over Mayoi’s body for what felt like too long. Tatsumi either ignored or didn’t hear the gasp as he moved slightly closer, their faces practically touching.
Mayoi definitely felt like he was going to die here.
His heart was going to stop and he was going to die in Tatsumi’s bed.
“Do you have trouble sleeping often?” Tatsumi whispered, and Mayoi averted his eyes from his gentle gaze, “You can join me in my before bed prayer if you’d like. I find I sleep better after speaking to Him and knowing He’s watching over me.”
“Nnm...” Mayoi whimpered. His heart was thudding in his chest, and Tatsumi was so close he could probably hear it. Why did Tatsumi make him feel like this?
Mayoi’s tired eyes drifted shut, but he just couldn’t will himself to sleep. His head turned on his half of Tatsumi’s pillow, purple hair fanned out over his face and tickling his cheeks.
“Even your sleeping face is beautiful Mayoi-san,” Tatsumi whispered, “It’s a shame I don’t get to see this every night.”
Mayoi tugged the blanket up over his eyes, Tatsumi was looking at him…! “T-That’s not…” he stuttered, “I’m not… not at all...”
Tatsumi ignored his deflection, countering with, “You certainly are,” as he lightly swept Mayoi’s bangs out of his face. Mayoi was still hiding, but Tatsumi figured he could come out when he was ready.
Time had passed, and Mayoi had no idea how much, but he was still awake. There was no clock at the bedside for any indication, which made Mayoi feel like time had frozen around him, and he would wake from this dreamlike state alone in his own bunk.
When it came down to it, Mayoi couldn’t think of a single other person who would allow him into their bed, but Tatsumi was different. No one had ever thoughtfully asked Mayoi about his life, or treated him without judgement like Tatsumi.
Mayoi had to hold back a gasp when he felt the man in question wrap his arms around him.
Was this a hug…? He could feel Tatsumi’s body against him and it felt like his stomach was doing flips in his chest as he tried to figure out what this feeling was.
Was Tatsumi the cuddly type? Maybe he usually fell asleep holding a pillow. That was unexpected and oddly cute, but the Tatsumi-holds-things-in-his-sleep idea was quickly thrown out the window just as fast as it came into existence.
“Mayoi-san, you don’t dislike this, do you?” Tatsumi asked, definitely not sleeping.
“It’s f-fine… I like it.”
“Me too, goodnight Mayoi-san.”
Mayoi’s heart was racing, and he was pretty sure he would be staring at the wall until morning.