Chapter Text
"Be the things you loved most about the people who are gone."
—Unknown
He cannot breathe...cannot get air to reach his empty lungs despite his desperate attempts to get them to function.
The world is spinning around him and all he can see are vacant blue eyes, unblinkingly staring into his soul. Lifeless. Another someone dead at Keigo's feet. This time it is not a hero. This time it is not his doing. This time it is a lot harder to stomach.
Dabi was an asshole. Dabi was a villain. Dabi had always suspected that Keigo was a spy. More than anything Dabi was his friend.
God what did that say about him? His best friend is a serial arsonist wanted for multiple counts of mass murder...or rather his best friend was a serial arsonist wanted for multiple counts of mass murder.
His wings twitch involuntarily against his back. Right. Dabi is dead.
Fuck this noise. Fuck the commission. Fuck it all. Dabi is dead and Keigo is the unfortunate fuck who found his body. This is his life now.
A hand places itself on Hawks' shoulder. The weight of it is grounding, allowing Hawks to remember how his lungs were meant to function so he can breathe. Its Twice who carefully leads Hawks out of the room.
"How'd...how…" how did you know to come find me? Hawks cannot find words. He can barely find his footing.
"You were screaming. Do you not remember?" Twice says. His other self says something contradictory but Keigo's focus is on the Twice that makes sense contextually. Hawks doesn't remember screaming. He just knows that his lungs hurt.
"What are we gonna do about the...about him? We can't just...can't just leave him there."
Twice looks briefly concerned. "Geten was with me when we went to find you. He put Dabi on ice until Shigaraki decides what to do about this."
"Shigaraki knows?"
"You're really out of it. Spinner and Compress went to go tell him. You should go get some sleep. Try and calm down . "
If both of Twice were in agreement he truly must be out of it. He doesn't remember much of what happened after he saw Dabi slumped there, eyes wide and unblinking yet staring straight into Keigo's soul all the same.
This is where his mind gets stuck: the balancing act between hero and villain falls away and all that remains is Takami Keigo and a dead friend. The part of his mind that put labels like hero and villain on things has desolved into nothingness and all Takami Keigo sees any more are people. The PLF are just people. They may be broken people but still people nonetheless.
Shigaraki is a person too. A person Keigo has yet to meet but a person. A grieving person who has locked himself away for over a week. Why he has is anyone's guess but the general result is the same regardless. Dabi's corpse is on ice until Shigaraki decides what to do with it. Shigaraki seems to have decided on pretending it doesn't exist.
At least that's what Keigo is left to assume given Shigaraki hasn't been offering any input on the situation.
Hawks has rather suspiciously been left to himself at the mansion. He wonders if Dabi was the only one who really held any suspicion towards him...or if his complete breakdown over Dabi's death was enough to prove his trustworthiness.
Either way there is a hollow pain in his chest. He's tired but the fear of what will happen if he sleeps has him chasing ghosts. Some part of him wonders if it's his fault Dabi is dead now...if someone else had gone to find him when he didn't show to the meeting would mean Dabi would still be alive.
It's irrational.
He knows that but he thinks it anyway.
"-wants to meet with you."
Hawks blinks.
"I said ," Geten huffs, clearly tired of repeating himself, "Shigaraki wants to meet with you. Apparently its important, so try not to zone out on him. "
Keigo nods.
Meeting Shigaraki is almost a surrealistic thing. For all the built up anticipation and precedence leading to this moment, Shigaraki is not nearly so monolithic as Keigo has divined him to be. He's human, built of lean muscle and scar tissue. The word " Pretty " of all things hovers in his thoughts as he takes note of the gentle fall of Shigaraki's long silvery-white hair around his rather delicate face and large emotive red eyes.
This was the man Dabi had loved, and in meeting him Keigo understands why Dabi had been so fierce in his vetting process. Understands why he had been kept at arms length.
The person before him now is delicate. Though perhaps most would contest that word choice, even Keigo knows that Shigaraki is far from weak , he is clearly delicate in a mental sense. More so now than ever, most likely.
"I want vengeance." Shigaraki says flatly, his eyes hauntingly empty as they don't quite make direct contact with Keigo's. Someone who knew Shigaraki better could probably read into the vacancy and diagnose its remedy with ease. Keigo wonders briefly if Dabi had been one such someone.
"I want vengeance" Shigaraki says again, a tinge of mania edging its way into the sound of his voice, "You're friends with Endeavor, right?"