Work Text:
Hell’s Most Wanted
PART I
ONE PARTICULAR MORNING IN THE POORER PART of South Park, a mail van pulls up to the McCormick residence. The driver comes out and removes some packages from the back, and then goes up to the door. He knocks on the door.
Mailman: “Postal Service!”
He waited patiently for someone to answer. The doorknob jiggles before the door opens, with a clearly sleepy Stuart McCormick stepping out the door.
Stuart: “Huahhh… Sorry, pal. I was just gettin’…”
He was greeted by a man with a rather large, unsightly scar covering a good amount of the left side of his face. This man was none other than William “Calypso” Sparks, one of Hell’s Most Wanted and creator of the derby contest “Twisted Metal”. But, obviously, Stuart didn’t know who he was.
Stuart: “Uhm… you new around here, sir?”
Calypso: “Well, yes, actually. This is the McCormick residence, yes?”
Stuart: “Yes.”
Calypso: “Wonderful! Came to deliver your… um, pantry box from the Wellingtons, and a few other things for you.”
He handed him a small stack of envelopes and a box filled with edibles, and Stuart thanked him for the items. Calypso turned around and headed to the van, saying goodbye. Stuart took the packages and went inside. Calypso took his cap off, letting his hair drop down from inside.
Calypso: “Alright…”
He opened the door to the van, where a young man with black hair and a scar on his right eye wearing a long, red coat sat next to the driver’s seat, sleeping soundly. This man was Koldwell Thomas Trowell, more often referred to as Kodi. He was another one of Hell’s Most Wanted, former head of IRIS Laboratories, and Calypso’s partner in crime.
Calypso: “Rise and shine, Mr. Trowell.”
He got in and slammed the door shut, scaring Kodi awake. He shook his head rapidly, not knowing what happened. He turned to Calypso, who’s mailman outfit dissipated into a black formal suit.
Kodi: “Jesus, man! Don’t scare me like that!”
Calypso: “Oh, I’m sorry. Did I wake you from your beauty sleep? ”
Kodi: “Ah, shut it.”
Calypso started the van’s engine and they went away from the house. Kodi faced forward and then turned to Calypso.
Kodi: “Uh, remind me ‘gain, old-timer - why did we come out to the poorer part of town, of all places?”
Calypso: “Well, number one: do not call me “old-timer”. Number two, now riddle me this, boy… who are the last people to expect to get a one-way ticket to luxury?”
Kodi: “Um… the poor, yeah?”
Calypso: “Poor people. How do you trick poor people? Simple - they would NEVER expect to get a pass to… Atlas Park. ”
Kodi: “ATLAS PARK?”
Calypso: “Put it short, a pass to eternal joy. Games, food, music… all at the cost of Lance Tokens. One of those envelopes has the pass for one Kenneth Jason McCormick, aka Cassandra’s lover.”
Kodi: “Wow, you really went for the jugular with this one, huh?”
Calypso: “You could say that.”
Back at the McCormick household, Stuart was looking at the envelopes, flipping through them one by one.
Stuart: “A’right, let’s see here… hm, paycheck, ‘kay. Letter from grampy, save that for later, and… hm? Hmm… now what’s THIS?”
He saw one of the envelopes had “To a Kenneth J. McCormick” written on it in a rather legible cursive. Stuart didn’t know what it was, but he decided to just give it to Kenny. Kenny was sitting on his bed, texting Sandy before his father called him.
Stuart: “Hey, Kenny! Somebody sent suntin’ for ya!”
Kenny: (muffled speech)
He put his phone down and ran out of his room to see what he’s got. Stuart handed him the envelope.
Stuart: “Somebody gave ya this. Dunno who, but I’ll let you find out what it is. I’m headin’ back to bed. Love ya, buddy.”
Kenny (muffled speech)
Kenny took the envelope back to his room. He sat on his bed and tore the envelope open.
Kenny: (thinking) “Hm… wonder what it could be? Doesn’t look like something Sandy would send me.”
He looked inside and pulled out a sort of coupon that read “Atlas Park”. Written on the back of it was “One free visit, valid for four people” next to the bar code.
Kenny: (thinking) “Atlas Park, eh? Never heard of it. Hmm… maybe Sandy might know where that is.”
He grabbed his phone and took a picture of it. He then texted Sandy to find out what it is.
Kenny: hey bb, got a question for you
Sandy: yes, love?
Kenny: got dis in the mail, U know what it is?
He then put the picture up, showing the coupon to her. She responded in an excited manner.
Sandy: nfw u got a ticket 2 Atlas Park?? :O:O That’s the best place in the world!!! for how many?
He turned the ticket around. He saw that it read that it was valid for four people. He responded to Sandy.
Kenny: says 4
Sandy: maybe you can bring Stan and Wendy along. they’ll love it, I swear! It’s the best ^U^ Find ‘em and meet me at the bus stop, near my house. luv u! <3<3<3
Kenny: luv u 2! <3{
He took the coupon and put it in his pocket and decided maybe it would be best to bring some stuff with him. He looked through his clothes drawer, but didn’t see anything exactly fashionable, so he decided to take some random garments and put them in his backpack. He also left a note on his bed to let his parents know where he’s going.He left the house, shutting the door behind him.
Some time later, he made it to Stan’s house. He knocked on the door, and Stan answered.
Stan: “Hey, Kenny! What brings you out here this early?”
Kenny: (muffled speech)
Stan: “Atlas Park? Um… I think I’ve heard of that place before. But that place is, like, stupid expensive, isn’t it?”
Kenny: (muffled speech)
Stan: “A ticket for four?”
Kenny: (muffled speech)
Stan: “You’re goin’ with Sandy and you’d like me and Wendy to join you? Well, I guess I could ask her. But I’ll have to ask mom and dad, too.”
Kenny: (muffled speech)
Stan: “Okay, I’ll see you guys at the bus stop. See you later, dude!”
Stan went back inside and Kenny left for the bus stop.
A few minutes pass, and Sandy was sitting patiently on the bench at the bus stop for Kenny and his friends. She was wearing an emerald green dress with her hair put in a ponytail. Her backpack sat next to her, likely filled with various belongings. Just then, she heard Kenny, Stan, and Wendy talking to each other from down the street.
Kenny: (muffled speech)
Stan: “I hope you aren’t joking about this “Atlas Park” thing. I didn’t walk out here for nothing.”
Wendy: “Stan, give it a chance! Sandy’s over there!”
Sandy stood up off the bench, smiling.
Kenny: (muffled greeting)
Stan: “Hey, Sandy.”
Wendy: “Hi-hi, Sandy!”
Sandy: “Hi, Stan. Hi, Wendy.”
She hugged Kenny and moved his hood slightly.
Sandy: “Hi, love. Glad you could bring me along.”
Kenny: (muffled speech)
Sandy kisses him and he holds her. She pulls away, with Kenny blushing. He pulls the strings of his hood down and held Sandy’s hand while they waited for the next bus.
Stan: “So, what's the whole “Atlas Park” thing about?”
Wendy: “Yeah, what’s it like? From what Kenny told us, it sounds amazing!”
Sandy: “Oh, it is! I went there a lot when I was a kid. Mom loved it!”
The moment Sandy finished, a bus pulled up. The door hissed and slid open. The driver was one of Sandy’s relatives, Neyla.
Sandy: “Hi, auntie Neyla!”
Neyla: “Oi, Sandy! Where you off to this time?”
Sandy: “Auntie Neyla, me and my friends are heading for Atlas Park.”
Neyla: “Well, loves, I’m headin’ up there now! So, you an’ yer friends are in luck! Course, it’s gonna be a free ride, jus’ for you, niece.”
Sandy: “You’re too nice to me, auntie.”
They headed for the back of the bus, walking past a man in a black vest and hat reading a newspaper, sitting next to a young man in a blue tee playing on his phone with a controller. The doors shut, and they were off.
A couple hours plus a few pickups and dropoffs pass, and they made it to Atlas Park. Neyla called to the back of the bus to the kids.
Neyla: “A’righty, loves! Atlas Park! Hope you and your friends have fun, Sandy!”
Sandy: “Oh, we will! Thanks for the ride! Love you!”
Neyla: “Love you too, niece!”
The two men sitting in front of them previously lowered their items, revealing that they were Calypso and Kodi in disguise. They waited for the kids to get off the bus before they did. The kids stood at the entrance to Atlas Park, an absolute marvel to behold. Many, if not all the buildings, had bright red roofs and glass doors, and a fountain with a massive golden lance in the middle of it.
Sandy: “Here it is… Atlas Park! All kinds of cool games, catchy music, and tasty foods to enjoy at the cost of Lance Tokens!”
Wendy: “Oh my God… I love this place already!”
Stan: “Oh, wow. This place is huge.”
Sandy grabs Kenny by his head and pulls him close, making him shout in surprise.
Sandy: “Best of all, it THE GREATEST place for lovers to visit!”
Stan and Wendy looked at each other, before the two men from the bus passed them by.
Calypso: “Pardon us.”
Stan: “Oh. Sorry, sir.”
Kodi: “Nah, you’re cool, kid.”
Sandy walked up to a door that had a small sign labeled “change” above it. She turned to the others.
Sandy: “If you have some formal clothes to change into, then head to the changing booth. I’ll wait for you out here.”
The three went inside to get different clothes on. Meanwhile, Calypso and Kodi went down the road towards an alleyway where three men in suits stood, one in the back being big and burly. Their disguises dissipate into their normal outfits.
Calypso + Kodi: “Gentlemen?”
Henchmen: “Sirs.”
Calypso: “Glad you could arrive today.”
Kodi: “We gotta make this quick though. Never know if Grimm and Minion are lurking here. We’ll go over the plan…”
He held a hand up at the big man in the back, who’s eyes just seemed to glow vibrantly.
Kodi: “But, first, let’s give a warm welcome to our new member… Igor.”
The big man bent down, showing his face in the light with a demented grin on his face and an unnerving chuckle.
A couple minutes later, Sandy was standing outside the changing booth, waiting for the others to come out. The door opened, and Stan and Wendy came out.
Stan: “Hey, Sandy, we’re done. How do we look?”
Stan stood with arms crossed in a red shirt and tan pants. His hair was combed in a way that made him look like a worker. Wendy, however, was in an orchid purple dress with raspberry wristbands and her hair in a ponytail. Sandy smiled.
Sandy: “Ooh, you two look ADORABLE! … But, where’s Kenny?”
Stan: “Uh, he’s still in there. He’s too embarrassed.”
Wendy: “Well… I wouldn’t say that.”
Just then, Kenny called from inside the booth.
Kenny: “Is Sandy out there?”
Sandy: “Yes, I am, love!”
Kenny: “Uhm… I don’t wanna come out.”
Sandy: “What’s wrong, Kenny? Are you okay in there?”
Kenny responded in a somewhat shameful tone.
Kenny: “I feel silly.”
Sandy: “Oh, come out, sweetheart. Please? I won’t laugh, Ken. I promise!”
Kenny: “Oh… okay. But, only cuz you want me to.”
Stan looked at Sandy.
Stan: “Wow, short work of THAT, huh?”
Sandy: “Well, that’s a bond for you, Stan.”
At that moment, the door opened slowly. Stan and Wendy looked over at the door. Sandy did the same a couple seconds after.
Sandy: “All I had to use was some… words of… encourage…”
Kenny: “Sandy…? H-how do I look, babe?”
Sandy: “Oh… my… God.”
He stood in front of the door in a grey button-up tee, a light brown vest, and brown pants. His eyes were closed and his blonde hair was brushed and fluffed up. He opened his eyes and spoke.
Kenny: “Well? How do I look, Sandy?”
She walked up to him with a pleased expression. She took his hands.
Sandy: “Oh, Kenny… You look just amazing, love.”
Kenny: “You think so, baby?”
She hugged him gently and reassured him.
Sandy: “No - I KNOW so. You know you’re too sweet to me to make fun of you. You know I would never laugh at you unless you do something funny. I love you.”
Kenny: “I… I love you, too, Sandy. I guess I was just feeling… like, I don't know.”
Sandy: “You just weren’t feeling confident.”
She kissed him on the cheek, took his hand and looked at the others.
Sandy: “Now, c’mon. Let’s put the ticket in and have some fun!”
Kenny: “Hell yeah!”
Stan: “Oh, this is gonna be the best!”
Wendy: “I’m SO gonna love this!”
They followed Sandy all the way to the main building, a big black building with a dark red roof and a gold rimmed door leading to the reception desk. Kenny held the door open for Sandy and the others as they went inside. Nobody was at the desk, and a small card was on the desk reading “ON BREAK”.
Wendy: “Huh. Looks like the receptionist isn’t here.”
Sandy: “That’s okay. We can just use the scanner.”
The scanner was off to the right side of the lobby. Kenny, Wendy, and Sandy walked up to it. The green screen read “Welcome!” with a red arrow next to it. It spoke as they approached it.
Scanner: “Welcome, visitor! Please scan your pass to validate your visit.”
Sandy handed Kenny the ticket for him to scan.
Sandy: “All yours, Ken. You received it, after all.”
Kenny: “Okay.”
He held the ticket up to the scanner. The scanner beeped when it analyzed the bar code. It spoke again.
Scanner: “Processing, please wait. … … Validation successful! Four-person pass with 5,000 Lance Tokens. Please claim tokens below.”
A small bucket flipped down and red and gold tokens filled it up. Sandy was stunned.
Sandy: “ 5,000 TOKENS!?”
Kenny: “Is that a lot in this place?”
Sandy: “I mean, I’m used to seeing people getting 800 for four. But you, Kenny… you just got what’s worth a FORTUNE here!”
Kenny: “Whoa… So, this is where the fun begins.”
Kenny took a small bag and tie, put the tokens in it and tied it up. After that, Kenny went up to the desk and grabbed a map of the park. They left the building to decide where to go from there.
11:00 AM
THE KIDS WERE LOOKING DOWN AT THE MAP, figuring out where they should go first. They were excited to have a whole day to themselves beyond South Park!
Sandy: “So, where d’ you wanna go first?”
Stan: “Yeah, I wanna see all of this place!”
Wendy: “Ooh, I’m so hyped!”
Kenny pointed down on the arcade, east of the Park.
Kenny: “Well, I like the sound of some arcade games. Think we oughta go here first.”
Sandy: “Ooh, I love the arcade here! I heard they recently got “Dahl Air Force”!”
Kenny: “I played a demo for that game! Let’s do it!”
They left for the arcade, with Kenny and Sandy holding hands, and Stan and Wendy doing the same.
Sandy: “Oh, I can’t wait, spending the day with my sweetheart!”
Kenny: “Not t’ forget, two of our best buds!”
They walked down the road towards the arcade, going past a Park electrician examining a powerbox. As they went past, he raised his goggles, revealing a horrid welt on the left of his face and a nasty pink eye on his right. He put his fingers to his ear, speaking into a concealed microphone. He was speaking to Kodi.
Dell: “They’re on their way to the, uh, arcade now, boss.”
Kodi: “Alright, Dell. We’ll send a couple goons over now.”
Dell got up, facing the direction the kids were walking, and went off into an alley across the road.
The kids made it to the arcade. The arcade was huge, with all sorts of machines and games.
Wendy: “Wow. Sandy was right. This place is HUGE!”
Kenny: “Yeah, and jus’ look at all the sick games, there’s… Holy CRAP, they actually DO have it!”
That’s when he saw it, the real thing - the Dahl Air Force ride-on arcade machine! It had a life-sized hoverbike built in front of the screen, with an AC to simulate flight. Kenny was ecstatic, grabbing Stan by his shoulder and pointing at the machine.
Kenny: “Stan, lookit! Dahl Air Force! C’mon, let’s play!”
Stan: “Well, alright!”
They ran up to it, and Kenny hopped onto the hoverbike, pulling a token out of his bag. Stan was curious about this game, why it gets Kenny so excited.
Kenny: “Pop one o’ these in…”
Stan: “Might I ask how this game hypes you up so much, Kenny?”
Kenny: “Oh, you’ll see in a hot second, bro! Just watch!”
Stan: “Alright, I’m watchin’.”
After a token was put in, the machine played triumphant rock music at the title screen, and a bold voice shouts out the title. Of course, given what experience Kenny had with the game, he picked normal mode. Meanwhile, the girls were standing by.
Sandy: “Hey, Wendy. Maybe while they’re playing over there… think I can show you something?”
Wendy: “Alright. What d’ you wanna show me?”
Sandy: “Follow me.”
She led Wendy over to another machine off to their left. The machine had the name “Karaoke Mayhem 3” on top of its screen.
Sandy: “Behold - Karaoke Mayhem 3! This game can play any song, from any country, and any game! This was the first game where I learned Japanese.”
Wendy: “Oh, Stan told me about you singing… uh, Yakuza 5?”
Sandy: “Well, it was in a game named that. It was called “Machine Gun Kiss”.”
Wendy: “Oh, okay. … Didn’t something happen that night?”
Sandy: “Well, it was an odd night that night.”
They kept talking with each other. Nearby was a group of three men - a young man with a ball cap, a tank top and sweatpants, a man with a flat top and a blue tee, and a rugged man in a sweat jacket and a black eye. These were the goons that Kodi had sent after Sandy, but she didn’t know they were here to find her. She took the microphone from the holder on the arcade machine and flips through the many songs on the machine.
Sandy: “Let’s see… ah, here we are! “Machine Gun Kiss.” I’ll play it. You can sing with me if you want.”
Wendy: “‘Kay.”
The men walked over, standing by while they got ready to play. Jeremy, the young man with the ball cap, turned to his fellows Mundy and Jane.
Jeremy: “You guys ready?”
Jane: “Yeah.”
Mundy: “Let’s do this.”
The moment the song started, Mundy froze in place. The other two just looked at each other. The machine spoke.
Mundy: (thinking) “Eh? Yakuza?”
In-game voice: “ A’ight, let yo hearts beat t’ da rhythm! ”
Sandy and Wendy looked at each other before the lyrics kicked in. They felt synchronized, like their hearts were beating in unison. They started singing.
Sandy + Wendy: (singing) “Midnight Shadow… kirisaku…”
The three men stood idly by, Jeremy mocking their performance and Jane just agreeing without a care. Mundy, however, stood with a tear in his eye.
Jeremy + Jane: “Uh, Mundy?”
He just stood there, listening to their singing. To Jeremy and Jane, it was apparently lame… but to Mundy?
Mundy: (thinking) “The voice… the emotion… it’s bloody gorgeous. It’s… it’s a miracle, It’s an Australian Christmas bloody miracle!”
Sandy + Wendy: (singing): “My Sweet Babe!”
Jeremy was annoyed with Mundy’s spectation, so he jabbed his finger into the side of his head to get his attention.
Jeremy: “Uh, what’sa matter, you freakin’ stupid?”
Mundy walked towards them, completely ignoring Jeremy. Jane just stood and picked his nose.
Jeremy: “Hey, where are you going?”
Sandy and Wendy were still focused on the game, they didn’t even notice him walk over. He stood and watched as they went on, before he started singing along in a high pitch.
Sandy + Wendy + Mundy: (singing) “… kisu wo abisete yaru, Baby!”
It kept going all the way to the end, with more and more spirit put into it. Closer to the end, Mundy seemed to start looking younger. The final notes kicked in.
Sandy + Wendy: (singing) “Machine Gun Kiss, de Just…”
Mundy threw his hoodie off to the side, with him being a clean young man now in a red tee and black pants.
Sandy + Wendy + Mundy: “ Fall in Love! ”
They held the final notes, with Mundy shouting like a soul singer. The song ended with him lowering his voice. Sandy and Wendy finally looked at him in confusion, and he turned back to look at them being completely still. His eyes flicked over to the game screen and then back to them. He all of a sudden smacks his face to the screen and chuckles giddily. Sandy and Wendy look at each, not knowing why he showed up out of nowhere, and shrugged. Sandy walked up to him with the microphone.
Sandy: “Uh, you can use it if you want.”
Mundy: “Hm? Thanks, mate.”
Jeremy smacks his own face, disowning his fellow while Jane still picked his nose. Suddenly, vapors rose up, and Kodi appeared in a red sleeveless top and sunglasses.
Mundy: “Where’s “Neeve Nanna”?”
Kodi: “Any luck, fellas?”
Jeremy: “No, boss. Jackass Aussie got entranced by the music. Guess he listens to Japanese tunes a li’l too much.”
Kodi: “Oh, perfect .”
Jane finally pulled his finger out of his nose, with a nickel stuck to the end of his finger.
Jane: “Ooh! Look!”
Kodi + Jeremy: “AGH!”
Jane: “It’s a nickel!”
He laughed and stared at it with a wide grin. Kodi and Jeremy just stared at him in disbelief. Kodi took his sunglasses off and put a hand on his face, before holding his hand up.
Kodi: “Jane… how many fingers am I holding up?”
Jane: “Um, uh… one, two… three… four, uhm…”
Kodi balled up his fist and punched Jane in his face, knocking him backwards.
Kodi: “ FIVE . LET’S GO.”
He grabbed Jeremy’s tank strap and pulled him away. Sandy and Wendy walked up to Kenny and Stan, still playing Dahl Air Force.
Sandy: “You boys doing alright?”
Kenny: “Yeah. On my last life, though.”
Stan: “I can see why he likes this game.”
At that moment, Kenny lost his last life, and decided to record his high score before he left. He got off the hoverbike and they left the arcade.
1:00 PM
LOOKING DOWN AT THE MAP AGAIN, the kids were figuring out where to go next.
Sandy: “So, where do you want to go now?”
Stan: “It’s up to you, Kenny. Where to?”
That’s when they heard a woman with a light southern accent shout from down the road.
Woman: “KARTS FOR RENT! GET YER KARTS FOR RENT O’ER HERE!”
Sandy: “Whuh?”
Kenny: “Somethin’ about karts?”
They went down the road, to see a young woman with a sign beneath her elbow. Almost immediately, Sandy recognized her as one of her cousins.
Charlie: “KARTS FOR RENT! GET YER KART--”
Sandy: “Cousin Charlie?”
Charlie: “Huh? Oh, hey, sweet thang! How’s my ‘dorable li’l cuz been?”
Sandy: “”Hey, cuz! I’ve been fine. You doing okay?”
Charlie: “Yep! Ma was right, it’s pretty nice to work here. So, who’s your little man here?”
Sandy pulled Kenny to her side and introduced him to Charlie.
Sandy: “Kenny, this is my cousin Charlotte, but we mostly call her “Charlie”. Charlie, this is my boyfriend, Kenny.”
Charlie: “S’, you’re her new boyfriend, huh? You look cute.”
Kenny: “Yes, I am.”
Charlie: “That’s wonderful, doll.”
Suddenly, she grabs him by his collar and lifts him up, making him and Sandy gasp in shock. Charlie raised her fist and spoke to him in a stern tone.
Charlie: “Well, let’s git one thing straight right off the bat. If you DARE do anythin’ stupid, ANYTHIN’ to hurt my precious baby cuz, I’ll wipe the floor with your ass. You got it? ”
Kenny gulps hard and answers.
Kenny: “Y-yes, ma’am, loud and clear.”
Charlie stared him down, before pulling him close and scruffing his hair with a smile.
Charlie: “Ooh, you seem too nice to do sumthin’ like that. I was only bein’ a dink.”
Sandy’s fearful expression went to confusion, and then to anger, pulling Kenny away from Charlie.
Sandy: “Charlotte, what the HELL!? That was so heartless of you to do that!”
Charlie held her hands up with a shocked look on her face. Stan and Wendy came over.
Stan: “Jesus, dude. What the hell happened?”
Wendy: “Yeah, what made you go and scream bloody murder?”
Sandy held Kenny close. He looked like he was dazed.
Sandy: “Kenny, love, I’m SO sorry! I didn’t think she’d do that!”
Wendy: “Who? What happened?”
Sandy: “My cousin Charlie scared him half to death…”
Charlie felt bad, so she approached them.
Charlie: “Aw, c’mon, cuz! I was only joking, honest! You know I’d never hurt your man”
Sandy: “I… I know. I just felt afraid. Just… don’t go scaring me like that again.”
Charlie: “Oh, Sandy, I’m sorry, baby.”
Charlie looked at Kenny in shame.
Charlie: “I’m sorry, Kenny. I didn’t mean to scare you. I’s only screwin’.”
Kenny: “It’s okay. You just caught me off guard is all.”
Charlie: “Yeah, I apologize. Normally I get a li’l rowdy around new people. Tell ya what. I’ll loan you a kart for half price - 250 tokens. Whatcha say?”
Kenny: “Okay, deal!”
Charlie: “A’right, I’ll haul one out for ya now!”
Charlie walked over to the garage to pull out a kart, She called to Sandy from inside.
Charlie: “Oh, Sandy, doll! I almost forgot! A fella named Mike was lookin’ for you.”
Sandy: “Huh? Mike? ”
She knew who Charlie was talking about - the demon known as Minion . He ran what were called “murder derbies” down in Hell. Sandy thought for a moment.
Sandy: (thinking) “Why would Minion be here? Is he here for something big? Something important? … Well… I think there could be one reason: Kodi and Calypso are here and he’s here to warn me about them. But how would those two kooks manage to enter a place as fortified as Atlas Park?”
Her thought was interrupted by Kenny.
Kenny: “Hey, Sandy!”
Sandy: “HM? What?”
Kenny: “Kart’s ready to go! We decided to head to the cafe. You got front seat with me!”
Sandy: “Oh. Sorry, I just, um, spaced out. Yeah, the Bacchus Cafe’s good! Lots of different specials and whatnot.”
Charlie came over to them and bent forward.
Charlie: “I hope you an’ cuz have a good day, Kenny.”
Kenny: “We will, Charlie. We oughta connect sometime. And thanks again!”
The kids drove off, and Charlie waved. They were invested in seeing the cafe.
Kenny: “Oh, I can’t wait!wondering about what they got is making me hungry!”
Stan: “Same here. I bet they got some GOOD eats.”
They went past a gentleman in a black vest and hat, looking down and obscuring his face. He looked up as soon as he was out of their view, and talked into a concealed microphone. He was speaking to Calypso.
Francois: “Cassandra is going to the cafe now, Monsieur Calypso.”
Calypso: “Very well then, Francois. You and Dell meet me out back, and don’t forget the poison .”
Francois moved his hand away from his ear and pulled a silver syringe filled with a dark brown liquid from inside his jacket and smiled with filthy teeth. He chuckled dastardly and snuck away.
When the kids arrived at the Bacchus Cafe, they walked to the door. A young man with dark brown hair and a reddish vest, likely thirteen, opened the door for them. This was one of Sandy’s childhood friends, Neville Stock.
Sandy: “Neville! I don’t think I’ve seen you since 2nd grade, buddy!”
Neville: “Hey, Sandy! It’s been a while, eh?”
Sandy: “Hey, do you know if the old family table’s still here?”
Neville: “Well, I could check with the boss.”
He turned his head to the left, showing that he had a ponytail. He called to his boss.
Neville: “Oi, boss! Is the table for the Wellingtons still here? Hm? Yes, it is? Well, Sandy’s here, sir! That’s why I asked!”
Kenny snorted quietly, holding back his laughter. Sandy saw him and tapped his shoulder. Kenny apologized before Neville turned back to them.
Neville: “Alright, then! I’ll show you to your table. Right this way!”
He led them to the table. Meanwhile in the kitchen, Francois and Dell were in disguise, Francois as a waiter and Dell as a cook. Both of their faces looked normal, without stubble or welts. They poked their heads out the doorway and saw the kids, and smiled fiendishly as they slipped back inside. The kids sat down at the table.
Sandy: “Man, it feels like it’s been forever since I sat here.”
Kenny pulled his seat in. Neville came up next to him.
Neville: “So, you must be Kenny? Your older Brother told me a lot about you.”
Kenny: “You know my brother?”
Neville: “Yes! Kevin, if I recall. He and I talk on Instagram. Anyway, my name is Neville Stock, your waiter at Bacchus Cafe…”
He leaned close to Kenny with a hand by his face.
Neville: “… as well as secret agent. But don’t tell anyone I said that.”
Kenny: “Uhm… okay.”
He straightened back up and held his clipboard up.
Neville: “Alright, now! What do you guys want to drink?”
Francois and Dell listened in on what they wanted, particularly what Sandy or Kenny wanted.
Stan: “Mountain Dew.”
Wendy: “Um… lemonade!”
Kenny: “Sandy, what do you say to a Coke float?”
Sandy: “Oh, sure!”
Francois and Dell laughed devilishly and went to the fridge to get their drinks. Dell pulled out a pair of Coke cans and tossed them to Francois. He pulled the syringe out and slowly pushed the tip into the top of the can, injecting the poison. He pulled it out and threw it away. Francois then licked his thumb and rubbed the minuscule puncture where the needle went in, and just like that it was gone.
Francois: “Perfect. As if nothing ever damaged it.”
Dell: “You are a friggin’ magician, Frenchie.”
Francois: “Oh, that’s but an understatement.”
Mistakenly, however, someone left a third Coke on the counter, and Francois ended up taking the untouched cans while taking the poisoned one for himself. He handed the plastic platter to Neville, with two empty glasses with vanilla ice cream sitting at the bottom. Neville was actually surprised.
Neville: “Well, I was just coming to let you know what was to be served!”
Francois: “Well, we have the ears of a moth, ami.”
Neville: “Well, you’ll be valuable to the boss, then.”
He brought the drinks over to them, and Francois cracked open the tainted soda and sipped from it. Neville handed the drinks to the kids and came back to put the platter away. Francois and Dell stood by to watch the chaos unfold. Kenny and Sandy opened their cans and poured them in the cups, and the two men snickered.
Sandy: “Cheers to friends and partners.”
Kenny + Stan + Wendy: “Cheers to that!”
They took their drinks, and the two men laughed. Next thing they knew, Kenny choked up rather violently. The others were worried, and Sandy grabbed Kenny’s shoulder.
Sandy: “Kenny!? Kenny, love, are you okay!?”
Francois and Dell started laughing audibly, but they faced each other so that they didn’t know what they did. Before long, Kenny’s coughing grew quiet, and he shook his head and breathed. Sandy was really worried.
Sandy: “Kenny? Are you okay?”
Kenny: “Ech. Yeah, I just… it went down the windpipe, that’s all.”
Francois: “What?”
Francois was confused. His stomach growled audibly, and he looked down and finally at the soda can he was holding. He realized that neither Kenny nor Sandy drank the poison… but he did. He handed it to Dell.
Francois: “Pardon me.”
He dashed to the bathroom and locked the door. Dell didn’t know what happened until he heard Francois screaming from inside the bathroom. He then looked at the can and figured out himself that Francois drank the poisoned soda. He put his hand to his face and sighed contemptibly. Then he remembered - he had a capsule with him. Neville came back to their table.
Neville: “You ready to get some food, guys?”
Kenny: “Sure.”
Stan: “I was looking at the barbecue popcorn.”
Kenny: “Barbecue popcorn?”
Neville: “Okay! I can get you a bowl!”
Dell looked at the pill and set it down for a moment to get a bowl ready for them.
Dell: “Well, Frenchie’s needle trick didn’t work, but maybe my pill just might.”
He got the popcorn ready for the kids. He had it powdered and sauced up, but he forgot one important thing - the pill. He planned on popping it open and sprinkling the powder inside it on the popcorn. But, he never noticed this and served it anyway.
Neville: “Where’d the other guy go?”
Dell: “Uh, he had to take a bathroom break. He’ll be back, probably.”
Neville: “Well, he can’t take very long. Other people need to use the restroom, too.”
Dell chuckled nervously and Neville walked away. Just as he made it to the kids’ table, someone from in the kitchen called out.
Worker: “Hey, did someone leave a pill on the counter?”
Dell immediately froze and started sweating, before he turned around to see the pill was still there. Dell rushed over and picked it up.
Dell: “Uhm, it’s mine!”
Worker: “It is?”
Dell: “Yeah! It’s my, uh, medication. Uh… oh! ‘S about that time o’ day, ain’t it?”
He popped the pill in his mouth and swallowed hard, and grinned forcefully. The worker looked at him for a moment, and shrugged. He walked away, and Dell’s forced grin melted off into a grimace. Then, vapors rose up behind him, and Calypso appeared in a long sleeve and an apron.
Calypso: “So, did you do it?”
Dell: “Uhm…”
Calypso: “Don’t tell me the poison didn’t work.”
Dell: “No, it did.”
Calypso: “It did?”
Dell: “But they weren’t the ones that took it.”
Calypso: “Wha…? What do you mean they didn’t take… wait a minute.”
Dell: “Yep, ya put the pieces t’gether.”
Francois came back with a hand on his stomach.
Francois: “Ahh… much better. What did I miss.”
Dell growled at him.
Francois: “What?”
He saw Calypso and immediately became afraid.
Calypso: “You mean to tell me Francois took the poison!?”
Dell: “Yeah!”
Francois: “Oh, come on. I didn’t know.”
Calypso: “What about the capsule? No, no, let me guess.”
Dell: “I took it.”
Calypso: “Oh, give me a break… it’s always the IDIOTS that Koldwell hires, just because they’re cheap .”
Francois + Dell: “We’re sorry, sir.”
Calypso: “Well, be prepared for some stomach pain for the next couple hours, Dell.”
Before they knew it, they heard someone feignedly cough. They turn around and see Neville standing with arms crossed and a stern look on his face. The three men laughed nervously before they were thrown out the back door. Neville stood at the door.
Neville: “And do NOT think about coming back here! Good day.”
He slams the door. Calypso facepalms himself, while the other two just looked down in shame.
Calypso: “Getting Spectra here is going to be an issue.”
Francois: “Oh… mon dieu.”
3:00 PM
LOOKING AT THE MAP ONCE AGAIN, the kids were deciding their next stop.
Sandy: “Where to now?”
Wendy: “I don’t know about you guys, but I wanna go to the pool!”
Kenny: “You know what? I could use a dip. Let’s do that.”
They got on their kart and rode away. They turned right on an intersection. Suddenly, a young woman with blood-red hair and sunken eyes sneaks out from behind a telephone pole as they go by. This woman was a familiar character - Fiammetta. She spoke to Kodi through a microphone.
Fiammetta: “They’re goin’ to the drink, boys. I’ll follow them.”
Kodi: “Alright, kid. You keep up with them, and remember - don’t screw this up. ”
She ran all the way to the pool. She was smiling maliciously as she went after the kids.
The kids got to the pool, and they walked to the entrance. A lifeguard stepped in front of them, blocking the entryway.
Lifeguard: “Hold it, li’l dudes. You got swimwear on you?”
Kenny: “Um… I don’t think we do.”
Lifeguard: “Okay. Just go to the room on the right, and there’s plenty of swimsuits ready to be used.”
Kenny: “Okay, thank you.”
Lifeguard: “Not a prob.”
The kids went to the room, and Fiammetta peeked from behind a tree.
Fiammetta: “Let’s see if those pricks can see through this disguise.”
She snapped her fingers, and then fumes formed around her. Just like that, she became a ten-year-old girl in a sunhat and swimwear. She giggled mischievously and went inside. She spoke in a higher pitch.
Fiammetta: “Excuse me.”
Lifeguard: “No problem.”
The boys were swimming in the pool while the girls sat on the edge. The pool water looked so clear, almost like glass. Fiammetta walked past the girls, grinning wide. Sandy felt like she recognized her smile from somewhere.
Sandy: “Hey, you.”
Fiammetta: “Yes…?”
Sandy: “Um, have we met before?”
Fiammetta: “Maybe… hee, hee.”
Sandy: “Hmm. Your smile just looked familiar.”
Fiammetta shrugged and walked away, which just raised more questions for Sandy. She faced forward and saw a rather tall, muscular man across the pool with black hair. Sandy squinted and recognized who he was.
Sandy: “I’ll be right back.”
Wendy: “Where are you going?”
Sandy: “Nothing, I just wanted to move around a bit.”
She got up and walked over to this man. He looked down at her and said…
Man: “Not now.”
Sandy: “What are you doing here?”
Man: “We’ll talk later. Now’s not the time.”
He walked away, not looking back at her. Kenny swam up to her, and grabbed the edge of the pool.
Kenny: “Who was that?”
Sandy: “What?”
Kenny: “That guy?”
Sandy: “Um, he was just a friend.”
Kenny: “Was that the Mike guy your cousin mentioned earlier?”
Sandy: “Uh… yeah.”
She walked back to the other side of the pool, before Fiammetta shoved her into the pool and laughed. Sandy came up and spewed water out. Before she looked up at her.
Sandy: “What was that for?”
Fiammetta: “Oh, it was just harmless fun!”
Sandy: “Oh, sure. Perfectly believable… Fiammetta.”
Her smile went to a hung jaw.
Fiammetta: “Wh… how did you know it was me?”
Sandy: “I could recognize your smile from anywhere.”
Kenny: “Huh? What’s going on?”
Fiammetta: “Uhm… heh, heh.”
Fiammetta smiled nervously and put her hands behind her back. She then ran off without turning back, and Sandy smiled. Kenny was confused.
Kenny: “Wait, what happened?”
Sandy: “Oh, just some brat I know. Hmph.”
Kenny: “Uh, okay?”
Fiammetta stood outside the pool, and her disguise faded. For whatever reason, being sniffed out scared her greatly. Kodi and Calypso came out in swim trunks and sunglasses and saw her, scowling in disapproval.
Kodi: “How did you louse up here?”
Fiammetta: “I’m sorry boss, but she found me out. I couldn’t stick around!”
Calypso: “Oh, how pathetic.”
Kodi: “Even Armeni could do a better job than you.”
Fiammetta: “Oh, c’mon! Please, gimme another chance!”
Kodi: “Maybe another time… if we need you.”
The two walked away, leaving Fiammetta alone. The kids walked out, and she snarled at them. Sandy glanced at her, and immediately she bolted off. Wendy didn’t know why that happened, but decided not to question it. Sandy saw the man from earlier, and said…
Sandy: “Stan? Wendy? You can take the kart and go where you want. Kenny, can you come with me?”
Stan + Wendy: “Okay.”
Kenny: I’ll give ‘em some tokens. But, uh… what d’ you need me for?”
Sandy: “Just follow me.”
Kenny didn’t question her and followed her while Stan and Wendy rode off. The man was in a hoodie and sweats. He looked down at them.
Minion: “Better timing, now.”
Kenny: “So, you’re Mike?”
Sandy: “Um, we should go into the alleyway, yeah?”
Minion: “Yes.”
They went down the alley where it was a little darker. They were completely obscured, and the man showed himself, throwing his jacket and pants away to show his real form. He showed himself as a demon with many horns on his body, and Kenny was frightened of him at first.
Minion: “So, you know why I’m here, Cassandra?”
Sandy: “I think after the little run-in with Fiammetta, I’m pretty aware.”
Kenny: “What… are you…?”
Minion: “I am Minion. I run murder derbies down in Hell.”
Kenny: “Murder derbies?”
Sandy: “Look, let’s get to the point.”
Minion: “As you know, Koldwell and Calypso are here. They snuck their way into Atlas Park to take you down.”
Sandy: “I couldn’t believe that at first.”
Just then, Mr. Grimm appeared from around the corner.
Mr. Grimm: “What’s poppin’, fellas?”
Minion: “Grimm.”
Mr. Grimm: “So, those idiots are in the Park, eh?”
Sandy: “Apparently so.”
Kenny: “San… Gr… WHAT IS GOING ON?”
Mr. Grimm: “Keep cool, pardner. Me and Minion can explain.”
Kenny: “Please do, cuz my head hurts from seeing this.”
Sometime passed while Grimm and Minion explained everything to Kenny, and he finally had a better idea of the situation.
Kenny: “So, a couple loons are after Sandy…”
Sandy: “… to stop me from taking Hell’s Most Wanted back to Hell.”
Minion: “Understand better now?”
Kenny: “I mean… Satan’s told me a bit of it before, but he never really went into detail.”
Mr. Grimm: “Well, he leaves some stuff out sometimes, but not intentionally.”
Minion: “Listen now, you two. We’ll need you two to make it to… actually, do you have a map?”
Kenny: “I do.”
He handed his map to Minion, and he pointed down at a particular alleyway further from where they are now.
Minion: “We’ll have you stake out here. You’ll need to prepare yourselves for whatever those fools will throw at you.”
Mr. Grimm: “Yep. Y’all will need all that you got.”
Sandy: “Wait a minute! There’s one problem.”
Minion + Mr. Grimm: “And that is?”
Sandy: “Kenny doesn’t have his attire or anything.”
Minion: “That can be arranged. An imp can deliver his armory to him, plus something… how could you say, special for him.”
Kenny: “Special?”
Mr Grimm: “Given what Sandy has, it’d only make sense for you to have somethin’ useful. Shit, it’s better than freakin’ fistfighting, that’s for sure. But, you’ll see.”
Minion: “We’ll need to go now. But remember, when you find that irksome duo, we’ll catch up with you.”
A portal opens behind Minion, and he steps through it while Grimm walked around the corner he came from. Kenny and Sandy looked at the map, where there were now two dots and a line, leading from their current location to the location they need to be at. They walked off, but they didn’t know that the whole time, they were watched - Fiammetta was looming above them the whole time, with an identical recreation of their map. She spoke to Kodi through her microphone.
Fiammetta: “I got her map, boys. I’m comin’ back now.”
Kodi: “Good. Come back with it, and we’ll ready up for her.”
5:00 PM
STAN AND WENDY PULLED UP TO A small bar, close to a monument. They got off the kart and went inside with Stan holding the door for Wendy. Kodi and Calypso were waiting out back of the bar, speaking to their henchmen.
Kodi: “Alright, boys. Here’s the map. The alleyway the little punk’s campin’ out at is just down the block. This alleyway is linked to the one we’re in now, so we’ll have you lead her down here.”
Calypso: “We have a heavy-duty cage and a totaled car set up there behind you, so when she’s driven down here…”
Jeremy: “Heh-heh, driven .”
Calypso: “Dell will cut the wire holding it up, causing it to crash down on her.”
Dell: “Yep. This is gon’ be good.”
Kodi: “Meanwhile, we will keep her li’l friends occupied, so they don’t know about it. Everybody got that?”
Henchmen: “Yes, sir.”
Kodi: “Good. Then GET TO IT.”
The henchmen dispersed and Kodi and Calypso went inside.
Stan and Wendy sat at a table close to the stage up at the front of the room. The table was next to a man with a black suit and combed black hair. They sat down and a bellboy came over with a bowl.
Bellboy: “Complementary chocolate drops.”
Stan: “Oh, thanks!”
Bellboy: “We hope you enjoy the show tonight!”
They faced forward and the curtains opened slowly. The man beside them looked at them.
Man: “You two are here to see the Back Alley Rats, too?”
Stan: “Back Alley Rats?”
Man: “They aren’t very well known, but they do shows in some places.”
Stan: “Oh. Never heard of them.”
Wendy: “Shh! Stan, the show’s starting!”
He faced forward and lights were turning on, one by one.
Meanwhile Kenny and Sandy were near the alleyway they needed to be at. Sandy looked at the wall and then at Kenny.
Sandy: “We better suit up, Ken.”
Kenny: “But, babe, I don’t have my outfit.”
At that moment, a small portal opened and an even smaller imp flew out of it with a burlap sack.
Imp: “Are you, uh, Kenneth Jason McCormick?”
Kenny: “Uh, yeah?”
Imp: “Here’s your costume, all the way from home. Don’t worry, the sack’s been washed.”
He dropped the sack and went back in the portal. Kenny opened it up… and his Mysterion outfit was inside.
Sandy: “Alright. Time to get ready.”
Sandy held her arms out with clenched fists, and her armor materialized, with boots first, gloves and gauntlets second, breastplate third, and mask last. After completion, her eyes glowed green. She looked at Kenny, still holding his outfit.
Kenny: “Uhm, I’ll go behind the dumpster.”
Spectra: “Why? … Oh no, wait, you don’t have to tell me, I understand.”
Kenny: “Yeah. Need privacy.”
He went behind the dumpster and changed into his costume. After he finished, he came out from behind the dumpster and spoke in his signature low, gravelly tone.
Mysterion: “Okay… now I’m suited up.”
Spectra: “Good. We’ll need to find Kodi and Calypso, likely fast. Stan and Wendy could run into them for all we know.”
Mysterion: “You’re right. We’re gonna need to take them down.”
Just then, a low, growling voice with a thick Russian accent spoke from behind.
Voice: “I DO NOT THINK SO, LITTLE BABIES.”
The two turn around to see a huge, burly man towering over them - Kodi and Calypso’s new member… Igor. He smiled with a toothy grin and a malevolent chuckle.
Igor: “I AM IGOR. I HAVE BEEN HIRED BY MISTER KOLDWELL AND MISTER CALYPSO TO STOP YOU BABIES FROM REACHING THEM. NOW IT IS TIME FOR ME TO CRUSH YOU.”
The two looked at each other and back at him. Mysterion coughed feignedly and used his normal voice while pulling something from his outfit.
Mysterion: “Hold this, please.”
He handed Igor a comic book, of all things. It had to be a few years old, but Igor seemed to be intrigued.
Igor: “VERY WELL.”
He snags it and opens it up, reading through it. He chuckled at parts of it. Spectra looked at Mysterion, and he mouthed to her.
Mysterion: (mouthing) “C’mon, while he’s distracted. That comic’s old and trashed, anyway.”
They snuck off while Igor laughed loudly and enjoyed the comic.
Igor: “OH, THAT SLAPS ME ON THE…”
He noticed then that the two were gone. He looked back at the comic in disbelief.
Igor: “ WHAT!? HEY, WAIT A MINUTE! COME BACK HERE!!! ”
He threw the old comic down and ran after them, huffing like an angry bull.
Stan and Wendy were waiting for the show to start. They were talking to each other before a man got up on stage.
Man: “Okay, ladies and gentlemen! The show’s about to start, we’ve just finished setting up. Now, please give a warm-hearted welcome to the Back Alley Rats!”
Everybody applauded, and then went silent. Some bass strums were heard, and then piano notes, and then drums. Two men in suits holding canes slid on the stage, one in white, the other in black. They were Kodi and Calypso in yet another disguise, as singers. The music picked up, and they started singing.
(Play this song. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lLvT3dyQi6E )
Kodi + Calypso: (singing) “I hate a moral coward, one who lacks a manly spark… I just detest a man afraid to go home in the dark…”
Outside at the same time, Igor was chasing Mysterion and Spectra down. Henchmen jumped out left and right, but Mysterion and Spectra punched and kicked each one back. Igor just shoved them out of his way, keeping up with the two on the run.
Kodi + Calypso: (singing): “Bring your wife and trouble, it will never trouble you… Make her a member of the Midnight Crew!”
Stan was enjoying this, bobbing his head to the rhythm. Wendy just looked at him and giggled.
Henchmen were trying desperately to stop Mysterion and Spectra, but more and more of them were failing. Igor simply kept going, not losing sight of them and even tossing his own partners at them.
Kodi + Calypso: (singing) “Now, something confidential, whisper not above a breath… I once went home at 2 am and scared my wife to death!”
It just kept going. Henchmen started getting serious, pulling out knives and guns. Even so, Mysterion just kicked their guns and cracked the stocks against their heads, and Spectra knocked the knives out of their hands and kicked them back.
Calypso: (singing) “I never shall forget the night I made six robbers run…”
Kodi: (singing) “Although, I didn’t have a knife, a blackjack, or a gun…”
Kodi + Calypso: (singing) “I proved myself a hero, of a very high degree… … I ran for home and six of them were running after me…”
The song was almost over, and Igor was frustrated about not getting Mysterion and Spectra. They were coming beneath the cage, and Dell was laughing as they looked up. He cut the wire and it fell on top of them. He was laughing loudly before he heard a low scream, and then he looked down… only to find Igor in the cage, and the two kids in front of him. The cage practically blocked the other henchmen. Igor looked up at Dell angrily.
Igor: “STUPID LITTLE TEXAS MAN! YOU ARE BIGGEST IDIOT!”
Mysterion: “Ha. Guess this grizzly’s been caged.”
Spectra: “Delightful. Now, let’s go find Stan and Wendy. See ya later, big guy!”
They ran away while Igor held the bars of the cage.
Igor: “WAIT! WHERE ARE LITTLE BABIES GOING!? COME BACK!!! ”
Igor clinged the bars before he dropped down and sobbed loudly. Dell scowled and jumped down and shouted.
Dell: “Dammit, dammit, dammit dammit dammit! ”
Jeremy: “Aw, Goddamnit!”
Francois: “Sacre bleu.”
Kodi and Calypso bowed to their audience, and left the stage through the back door. Stan and Wendy left after that. Kodi ran out to the trap to see if his plan was successful.
Kodi: “So, boys! Didja get ‘er!? Didja get ‘er!? Didja…”
He saw Igor in the cage, and he laughed unhappily.
Kodi: “Aw… come on. ”
Dell: “Sorry boss. I didn’t think they’d slip out that fast.”
Kodi: “Fucking how!? It’s a giant steel cage! It-- how much does it weigh? Cuz she wouldn’t be able to escape that freakin’ thing!”
Dell: “About three and-a-half tons.”
Calypso: “Oh, for God’s sake.”
Igor: “I HAVE FAILED MISTER KOLDWELL AND MISTER CALYPSO! I COULD NOT CATCH THEM!”
Kodi: “Seriously! How were you NOT ABLE TO CATCH HER!?”
Igor: “IT WASN’T JUST HER, MISTER KOLDWELL!”
Kodi: “Wh… what do you mean “it wasn’t just her”!?”
Igor: “LITTLE LADY HAD LITTLE BABY MAN!”
Francois: “He’s right. A boy wearing black and purple was running with her.”
Kodi: “Oh, goody, a sidekick. The ghost hunter now has a frigging sidekick. ”
Calypso: “That only makes matters worse.”
Kodi: “Gee, ya think , old fart!?”
Calypso: “Oh, that’s real offensive, you impotent snot-nosed brat. ”
Jeremy: “Hey, grammy and grampy! We getting fat man outta the cage or what?”
Kodi, Calypso, and their henchmen put all their strength into lifting the cage up. Igor even chipped, yet he kept screaming from his foot getting caught beneath the cage. Everyone was irritated.
Francois: “Would someone SHUT him UP!?”
Igor: “ NO, YOU! ”
Dell: “Y’all better put yer backs into it!”
Kodi: “AGH! After this, I’m sending ALL OF YOU HOME!”
They kept using their energy to lift the cage up. Eventually, however, Igor got out from under the cage, and the henchmen were sent home.
7:00 PM
KODI AND CALYPSO WALKED DOWN A STREET, unsure of what to do. Kodi was kicking an empty can and Calypso was being quiet. Kodi stomped on the can and yelled.
Kodi: “It’s no use, Will. We aren’t gonna be able to get her. We might’s well just throw in the towel now.”
Calypso: “Oh, stop being overly dramatic. She’s been plucky while we’ve just been conceited. Besides, you do remember we always have a last resort…”
Kodi: “What the hell are you talking about? Last re… are you talking…?”
Calypso: “Ah, you remember.”
Kodi: “You mean the… the Vengeance. Hoh hoh hoh HOH! Of COURSE! WHY DIDN’T I THINK OF THAT BEFORE!? God DAMN , I’m stupid!”
Calypso: “Well, we haven’t the time to wait, do we? Let’s get to the truck.”
Kodi: “Yeah! I-- wait. Where did we park it?”
Calypso: “Well, that can be answered…”
He pulls out the key to the truck.
Calypso: “... with this.”
He presses the button, and a loud, bellowing horn was heard. The two chuckled evilly and walked towards where the horn was heard.
Mysterion and Spectra were walking down a different road. Suddenly, Mr. Grimm appeared out of nowhere.
Mr. Grimm: “Kenny, Sandy.”
Mysterion: “What is it, Grimm?”
Mr. Grimm: “Well, there’s been a change of plans.”
Spectra: “What do you mean?”
Mr. Grimm: “Your friends - Stan and Wendy - they may cross paths with Kodi and Calypso.”
Mysterion + Spectra: “WHAT!?”
Mr. Grimm: “The duo have something they call “the Vengeance” set up at the old pantheon, North of Atlas Park. Stan and Wendy are heading in their direction.”
Spectra: “Oh, God! They’re gonna get KILLED!”
Mysterion: “Not if we can get to them!”
Mr. Grimm: “Kenny, lemme see yer map.”
Mysterion hands Grimm his map, and he presses his finger on a gap close to the monument, leaving a burn dot on it.
Mr. Grimm: “Me and Minion set suntin’ for ya here.”
Mysterion: “Okay?”
Mr. Grimm: “Sandy, you’ll need to guide Kenny to the twisted pair and keep him on their tail.”
Spectra: “Alright, I’ll do my best.”
Mr. Grimm: “Good luck, you two. I know your buddies will make it out of this alive.”
He left and the two ran for their destination. When they got there, they went down an alleyway, where something stood with a tarp over it.
Spectra: “What’s this thing?”
Mysterion: “Dunno. We’re about to find out.”
He pulled the tarp off, and he saw an electric bike with his outfit’s colors and a question mark at its hood.
Mysterion: “Whoa…”
Spectra: “That’s nice. If only they brought my kart, then we’d be cruising.”
Mysterion: “You have your own kart!?”
Spectra: “Yep! Me and my cousin Charlie made it. But we don’t have time for that. Get on it and wait. Let me know if they come down this way.”
Mysterion: “Alright.”
He mounted on his bike and stood still, while Spectra jumped onto the rooftops out of view.
Stan and Wendy were laughing and talking while they rode over to the monument to the North of Atlas Park.
Wendy: “Oh, it doesn’t feel often enough that we do this, boo!”
Stan: “Yeah, I hear ya!”
Wendy: “If we could stay here forever, I honestly don’t know what could ruin this.”
Stan: “Yeah…”
They stopped in front of the massive pantheon. It looked worn down from age, but it could’ve been designed like that intentionally for the sake of authenticity. Stan turned to Wendy with a smile.
Stan: “I had a great time with you, Wendy.”
Wendy: “I did too, Stan.”
Stan: “Y’know… I don’t think I’ll forget today.”
Wendy: “Yeah! … Do you think you can stomach a kiss?”
Stan: “Aw, come on! Course I can.”
She leaned closed and pecked him on the lips. They both chuckled a little, before going slowly for an actual kiss. But before their lips could connect, they heard a loud rumble from inside the pantheon.
Stan: “Did you hear that?”
Wendy: “Yeah.”
What they didn’t know was there was a monster in there - a monster named the Vengeance. Kodi was in the driver’s seat peering through a pair of binoculars. He was snickering while they looked at each other.
Kodi: “A’right… no Spectra in sight. You ready, Will?”
Calypso: “Yes, and please stop calling me Will.”
Kodi revved the engine, but kept it at a dull roar as they slowly approached the entrance. They called out to them in an unsettling tone.
Kodi + Calypso: “ We see you… ”
Wendy held Stan tightly, uncertain of what horrors awaited in there.
Wendy: “Stan…? I’m scared…”
Stan: “You… you’re telling me…”
They heard laughter from inside, which only scared them even more. They saw lights slowly light up and metallic creaking. Stan started the kart’s engine in case it came out… and come out, it did. The engine roared as it charged toward them.
Stan: “ GET OUTTA THE WAY!!! ”
They shot off as a massive, rusty claw destroyed a column of the pantheon, with Kodi’s insane laughter siding up with the banging. The truck finally came out and sped after them, with Calypso laughing as they drove after them. Mysterion heard Stan and Wendy screaming and the truck’s engine as they went past.
Spectra: (earphone) “Kenny! Do you read!?”
Mysterion: “I saw them go by! I’m following them now!”
Spectra: (earphone) “Okay! Don’t lose sight of them!”
Mysterion revved his bike and went after them. He made sure that the truck didn’t leave his line of sight. Stan looked back at the truck, which was rusty and had spikes on its front bumper. He even saw the claw on the back of it. He faced Wendy.
Stan: “What the hell is that thing!?”
Wendy: “I don’t know! But whatever it is, RUN FROM IT!”
They kept going, while Kodi kept his eyes on their target. That’s when he saw Mysterion riding behind them. He looked at Calypso.
Kodi: “Hey, Will…?”
Calypso: “What?”
Kodi: “Take the wheel. We got company.”
Calypso: “Certainly! … Idiot.”
Kodi kicked the door open and swung himself over to the claw. He grabbed the levers and turned the claw in his direction.
Kodi: “HEY, BUDDY! You lookin’ for trouble!? Cuz if you are… then GODDAMN, YOU FOUND IT! ”
Instead of using the claw, he fired three missiles that were mounted on top of the claw’s cab. They homed in on Mysterion, who dodged them narrowly. They exploded into a red dust.
Mysterion: “Brimstone missiles…? These guys are off their rocker!”
Kodi: “Oh, persistent, eh!? I GOT PLENTY OF ‘EM!!! ”
He then started jolting the claw at Mysterion, but he swerved out of its way. Kodi fired the missiles again, and this time… Mysterion didn’t get out of their way. Kodi was laughing.
Kodi: “See ya! Sucker!”
He turned the claw forward again and went back to the cab, with Calypso still manning the truck.
Kodi: “The li’l clown’s been offed.”
Calypso: “Done so soon? I was getting tired of driving, anyway.”
Kodi: “We’re still on them, yeah?”
He looked with his binoculars, only to see Stan and Wendy were further ahead of them. Kodi was shocked.
Kodi: “Wait, how did they get so far ahead!?”
Calypso: “They must’ve kicked it into full gear. But that won’t matter. They’re going to corner themselves real soon.”
Stan and Wendy took one last right turn, and they stopped in an alleyway with nowhere else to go. They got off their kart, frightened of their predicament.
Stan: “It’s a dead end! We’re trapped!”
Wendy: “But… they couldn’t find us in an alley, would they?”
The sound of the engine got louder, and the truck turned from around the corner slowly. Wendy held Stan tight as they backed into the wall behind them. The claw on the back extended and opened, and the two quailed in terror. But then… it shut quickly, remaining completely still. The two looked at each other for a moment before they heard the claw hiss. It was blowing out smoke from behind, obscuring the cab of the truck. The cab doors opened, and the smoke cleared up to reveal the two men driving it. Stan was confused.
Stan: “Wh-who are you!?”
Kodi: “It’s about time we caught up to you. We’ve been following you since the beginning. We were gonna get to the point… but it’d be rude not to introduce ourselves, wouldn’t it?”
Calypso: “Oh, brother…”
Kodi: “Ahem. My name is Koldwell Thomas Trowell, former CEO of IRIS Labs. Y’ might have heard of me before, the incident down in Mexico?”
Wendy: “What?”
Kodi: “Ah, whatever. And that’s William Sparks, but he goes by Calypso. He ran this, uh, RC car thing in LA.”
Calypso: “It was most certainly not an “RC car thing”. It was a vehicular contest called Twisted Metal, and it utterly destroyed the City of Angels.”
Kodi: “Oh, what do I care? … Anyhow, let me get straight to the point.”
He bent forward and made the kids back into the wall.
Kodi: “You know a girl named Spectra, do you not?”
Stan: “Uhm…”
Kodi: “I’ll take that as a yes.”
Calypso: “We would like to know where she is.”
Stan: “Wh--!? Why are you asking us!? We don’t know!”
Kodi: “Hmm… so, that’s how we’re gonna be.”
He stands up straight and pulls a magnum out of his jacket. Stan and Wendy quivered when they saw it.
Wendy: “Oh, God…!”
Kodi: “Well, if you aren’t gonna cough it up yourselves, then we can just make you cough it up.”
Stan: “No, please, man! We don’t know, honest!”
Calypso: “Koldwell, don’t you think you’re being a little too extreme about this?”
Kodi turned around with a bewildered look.
Kodi: “What? One o’ the best ways to make someone speak up, ya point a gun at ‘em and they’ll speak up! Ain’t it?”
Calypso: “Oh, give me a break! That’s just the nonsense you see in movies, don’t be stupid.”
Kodi: “Oh, piss off, alright? Okay, so maybe it’s a bit of cliche crap, but it’s a lot more effective that you think!”
Calypso: “Don’t make me laugh.”
The two argued and Stan and Wendy looked at each in confusion. Kodi started shouting at Calypso and he shouted back. Kodi whipped his head back at the kids.
Kodi: “WHERE IS SHE, DAMMIT!”
The two yelped and shut their eyes. But then, a loud voice was heard.
Mysterion: “ HEY!!! ”
Kodi’s face froze before he looked up to see Mysterion standing on the roof above them. Stan and Wendy felt hope immediately return to them.
Stan + Wendy: “Mysterion!”
Kodi: “WHAT THE!? But… BUT I KILLED YOU! I BLEW YOU TO, LIKE, A MILLION PIECES, HOW!? ”
Mysterion: “When it comes down to me, you can never kill that which never dies.”
Spectra: “This is the end of the road for you two!”
Spectra showed up on the opposite roof with arms crossed. Kodi turned to her and back to Mysterion… and looked down snickering.
Kodi: “Oh… I see. Immortality. Ha! That is just cute.”
He quickly aimed his pistol at Mysterion and fired, hitting him directly in the chest. Spectra and the other two stared in horror.
Spectra: “KENNY!”
He stumbled to his left and fell off the roof. Kodi laughed and walked over to the corner.
Kodi: “Ha ha ha, HA! How’s that feel, you…”
He saw around the corner that Mysterion wasn’t there.
Kodi: “WHAT!? Wait, where’d you go!?”
He heard his voice out of nowhere.
Mysterion: “I didn’t think I’d need to repeat myself… You can never kill that which never dies. ”
Mysterion leaped onto Kodi’s back, making him shout and fire off shots in random directions. He flailed around in an effort to get Mysterion off of him, but he clung on.
Kodi: “CALYPSO! GET THIS LITTLE BASTARD OFF OF ME!”
Calypso raised a hand and he built up some kind of energy. But before he could throw his hand out, Spectra came down and kicked the left side of his face, making him scream in pain and throw the energy ball to hold his face. Kodi was hollering before Mysterion jumped off him. Kodi aimed at him, but he was knocked down by the ball Calypso threw and cracked his head off of a lamp post. His head was bleeding slightly.
Kodi: “Ow… my head.”
Calypso: “Oh, my face! That side was sensitive, you miserable little witch!”
Kodi: “Calypso, what the shit!? That stupid ball you tossed made me break my head open, asshole!”
Calypso: “Really? At least you're not the one with a boot print on your cheek!”
Kodi: “Fuck off!”
Kodi stood up, holding the crack where he was bleeding. The two men stood outside the alley, with Mysterion and Spectra standing in front of Stan and Wendy.
Kodi: “You little bastards…”
Spectra: “Serves you two idiots right, attacking our friends like that.”
Calypso: “Oh, that wasn’t even an attack. It would’ve been if this moron--”
Kodi: “Oh, shut up, you stupid prick!”
Mysterion: “We’re not letting you leave after this.”
Kodi: “Oh, we’re not done. The terror has only just BEGUN!”
Mysterion: “Hate to break it to you…”
Kodi: “What!?”
They heard loud breathing,and their expressions froze in horror. Kodi looked at Calypso without turning his head.
Kodi: “They’re… right behind us… aren’t they?”
They turned around and saw Grimm and Minion standing behind them. They had their arms crossed.
Grimm: “We knew we’d catch up t’ you jerkwads eventually.”
Minion: “This is where your puny little crusade ends. Now, you’re coming back with us. ”
Kodi and Calypso looked at each other, and back at them.
Kodi: “Should we run, Will?”
Calypso: “Uhm…”
They turned around and bolted off screaming, with Grimm and Minion chasing after them.
Mr. Grimm: “Come back here, ya li’l sissies! I’ll chop off yer heads and stuff ‘em up yer asses!”
Minion: “You can’t run forever, little Calypso man!”
Grimm was breathing hard, and then he stopped. Minion stopped when he did.
Minion: “Oh, come now, Grimm. You’re not seriously out of breath, are you?”
Mr. Grimm: “Heh… You think… just because… I’m a skeleton… don’t mean… I don’t have… to breath?”
Kodi: “Ha! We’re outrunning you, we’re outrunning you! Ha, ha! RUN FOR IT, WILLIE!!! ”
Calypso: “ DON’T CALL ME THAT!!! ”
They ran out of their view, and Grimm stood up straight. They walked back to the kids, where Mysterion was squatting down by Stan and Spectra stood and held Wendy.
Minion: “Are you kids okay?”
Stan: “What… what even happened?”
Wendy: “I was… so scared…”
Minion: “Well, you’re safe now. They won’t be back for you for a while.”
Mr. Grimm: “As long as your friends here are around, they won’t let them near you.”
Stan: “I WOULD HOPE SO!”
Mysterion: “So, that’s over with… so, what now?”
Spectra: “Yeah, it’s really late.”
Mr. Grimm: “Y’know, there was suntin’ about a fireworks show at nine, up on Diamond Hill, West.”
Wendy: “Fireworks?”
Spectra: “Well… maybe we can stay for that.”
Minion: “Oh, shoot! I forgot about the truck. Maybe we can give you a ride back when the show’s over.”
Mr. Grimm: “That sounds good.”
They all got together and left for Diamond Hill.
ENDING
THE KIDS WERE LAYING BACK ON THE GROUND on Diamond Hill, and Grimm and Minion were elsewhere. It was close to nine, and Kenny and Sandy laid next to each other, back in their formal outfits, with Stan and Wendy on their left. They looked up at the sky awaiting for rockets to explode.
Sandy: “Some night this has been, Huh?”
Kenny: “I’m glad this night could end on a good note.”
Stan: “Yep. It was definitely different.”
Wendy: “We can at least relax now.”
Kenny: “Look, the fireworks are flyin’ now!”
Various colors burst in the air, lighting the entire hill. Everyone laid back and enjoyed the lights. Kenny looked at Sandy and smiled, and Stan did the same with Wendy.
Sandy: “Kenny.”
Kenny: “You know what I’m gonna say.”
Kenny held her cheek and kissed Sandy. She laid her head on his chest. Wendy did the same with Stan. They watched the fireworks and enjoyed the night in peace.
THE END.