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“Same old song, just a drop of water in an endless sea
All we do crumbles to the ground though we refuse to see
Dust in the wind
All we are is dust in the wind” ©
Kansas – Dust in the Wind
He didn’t think about that particular meeting since his coming back to Earth. He was too happy to even let himself spoil his good mood with unpleasant memories, but the Detective was convincing and the precinct was as eager to participate as ever. So, they announced the anniversary of Marcus’ death and the day has finally come.
Chloe expected Lucifer to be angry, to pout, to throw a tantrum, in a word, she expected him doing all his previous “Lucifer’ ness”, but it appeared, the road to the Hell and back changed not only his behavior, but it also changed his whole way of thinking.
Chloe was worried about Lucifer, she debated of consulting Linda, but each passing day kept proving her wrong – he was copying with his previous traumas perfectly good. Chloe saw clearly that Lucifer wasn’t pretending that everything was okay, he really felt happy. So, one day, just a couple days before the anniversary, she took him by the hand and carefully walked him to the couch. Sitting closer, Chloe asked carefully:
“Baby, why don’t you talk to me?”
“Just talk, Detective?” Lucifer let out his brand grin, interlacing their fingers together.
“Lucifer, I worry about you, don’t get me wrong, the anniversary is approaching, and it seems that I am somehow trying to convince everyone that Pierce was not a bad person, more, I’m dragging you into it, but, damn, you cannot tell everyone that he was a bloody Cain, can you? If you do not want to come…”
“That’s fine, Detective, I’m not going to throw a tantrum and cry over my unfortunate friendship with him, besides, I kind of visited him while being... down there, you know”
Chloe stared back at Lucifer, wide-eyed from his casual statement. He didn’t seem to notice, going on with his story.
Lucifer never bothered about friendship; after all, it’s been eons ago when he had a chance to talk to someone else except Maze, for example. When he spent his time on Earth, he didn’t see any necessity to share his precious hours with someone else who wasn’t interested in drinking rounds or just sex. And Hell was no place for friendship. The last several years spent in LA shook his worldview a lot, he had people he cared about now and people who cared about him, it was a mutual feeling, but just having a person who would understand him without questioning… Lucifer doubted it was possible until he met Cain.
The first sinner and the eternal wrong-doer. Who could have ever imagined that Lucifer saw more common things between himself and Cain, with each passing day?
Of course, Cain annoyed Lucifer to no end, his smugly face, his charisma, his interest in the Detective, but at the same time, he was almost as old as Lucifer and they shared far more than the unfortunate past. So, when Lucifer got bored to Hell, no pun intended, he went in searching of Cain’s loop, and when he found one, he just stuck there, in the doorway, observing. Understanding, even.
A little boy was running towards Cain, laughing happily, tugging his hand with a silent plea to play tag.
“Abel”, the thought struck Lucifer’s mind, after he recognized the boy Eve was so often crying over. Of course, he remembered Abel, after all, it was he who taught the boy everything about life’s pleasures.
So, Abel looked up at his brother with his innocent blue eyes and asked sincerely:
“You’ll be forever with me, Cain? Promise to never leave me? Promise to always play tag with me? Promise me to look down at the Ashes of Eden?”
“I…I promise” Cain struggled through these words and the next second the stone was hitting Abel at the head, and there was blood, and primal fear, and the first death.
His first sin became his eternal loop, how remarkable! Lucifer smiled wryly. He could relate to this more than he ever desired – after all, he killed his own brother, as well.
“What are you staring at?” Cain cried annoyingly.
“It appears, you will never forget your first” Lucifer waved his hand. “Come on, get out of there, let’s go watch the Ashes of Eden”.
When it snowed on Earth, celestials called it The Ashes of Eden, something innocent and pure, people have forgotten about a long time ago. That’s why humans liked snow; it gave them a feeling of belonging, to the time when there were no sins, no broken promises, and no punishment.
“And you are going to throw me back into this door after I will have drunk a shot of whiskey and sung drunken songs with you?” Cain asked almost casually.
“The door is open and you know about it perfectly well” Lucifer replied, dragging him down to his imaginary home – the exact replica of Lux.
“Then why are you doing this? I’ve never been your friend”
“You were my first. In one way or another”
And they went inside, and Cain followed, and they talked about trivial things, as if the Hell never happened, as if there never was any jealousy and misunderstanding, any ups and downs, and just two friends, two lost people drank together for the things they never could have had. After all, all that Cain ever wished for was to live his life, to have the ability to chose, to gain his parents’ approval and to play tag with his stupid little brother.
Lucifer explained this much to Chloe without the hope of her understanding, but at least, he tried. The concept of complicated relations between celestials and immortal beings was too difficult for humans to grasp, but she was thoughtful and sympathetic after his tale, and that was enough.
So, standing by his grave now, Lucifer wasn’t even trying to express his feelings, he never learned how to properly deal with emotions. He just put the flask of whiskey on the frozen ground and whispered:
“You’ve never been my friend, Cain, but you’ve been the most trusted enemy”
And that exact moment it started to snow.
The end.
12.04.2020