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Shouta’s barely gotten home when Hizashi kicks open the door of the bedroom and bursts out, speaking too fast for even Shouta to understand. Shouta is hunched over, trying to unlace his boots while both the cats rub against his ankles, but he straightens when he sees the expression on Hizashi’s face. It’s not quite panic, but it isn’t excitement, either.
WHAT? Shouta signs, bracing himself for bad news. He’d hoped Hizashi wouldn’t be awake this late--but Hizashi’s sleep schedule is a wildly unpredictable beast. YOU OKAY?
Hizashi makes a big show of composing himself, taking deep breaths like he does right before he goes onstage. It does nothing to curb his enthusiasm, though. “Did you HEAR who they just HIRED AT YUUEI? ” Hizashi exclaims. His tone shakes dust off the bookshelves, and the cats dart for cover.
NO, Shouta says, wary. WHO?
Hizashi puts the back of his hand to his forehead, like he’s about to swoon. “I’m...beside myself.”
“I can see that,” Shouta says. He doesn’t need to sign for Hizashi to recognize the sarcasm he’s exuding. WHO? he asks again.
“Only the HUNKIEST HERO ALIVE! Besides you, of course, obviously--” Hizashi clutches his hands to his chest. “ALL MIGHT!”
Shouta hates telling Hizashi to quiet down (he knows more than anyone the effects of Hizashi’s mother not missing an opportunity to shut her son up), but the neighbors downstairs are using a broom handle to thump on the underside of their floor to tell Hizashi to control his quirk, and Shouta’s the only one who can hear that. Shouta gestures for Hizashi to lower his volume, and then says, A-L-L M-I-G-H-T TEACHER?
Hizashi makes a conscious effort to be quieter, glancing at the floor sheepishly, but he doesn’t look any less ecstatic. “I guess so! He’s gonna do first-year practical training!”
This is a lot to take in. They’d known that UA was trying to get one of the top-ranked heroes to teach, but bagging All Might is quite interesting. Shouta suspects that his husband isn’t the only one who has a...history of being an avid fan of the number one hero.
“I’m sweating,” Hizashi says. He’s been giggly all morning, and it’s infectious--Kayama is losing her mind as well. Shouta’s quietly endeared, but he’s doing his best to hide that by putting his face in the morning newspaper (he cannot endorse this unprofessional behavior). “Do you think he’d bench press me if I asked?”
“ I could bench press you,” Kayama says. “But do you ever ask me? Sixteen years I’ve known you and you’ve never asked me once .”
“Has it been sixteen years already?” Hizashi asks. He’s so excited about All Might showing up that his breath is a little hiccupy. It’s cute. Shouta lifts the newspaper up higher. “Maybe for our twentieth anniversary you could bench press me. I’d love that.”
“I’d do it right now, if you weren’t a coward.”
“I deserve that,” Hizashi admits.
The door slides open, and there’s a split second where he’s pretty sure Hizashi’s about to pass out--but Hizashi pulls himself together and bounds across the room to greet…
A very tall, thin, gaunt man who looks consumed with insecurity as Hizashi grabs onto his hand in an approximation of a handshake.
“I’m so excited to work with you,” Hizashi gushes, color flushing high in his cheeks.
“Thank you,” Yagi Toshinori says, overwhelmed. (There’s only a small percentage of people who aren’t overwhelmed upon having Hizashi shower them with his full capacity for enthusiasm.) “Same to you, Present Mic.”
Nobody else in the room bounds forward. Kayama’s thrown off-balance, trying to process the appearance of All Might. Shouta’s staring too. He’d heard something about All Might’s civilian appearance, something about an injury, but it’s still jarring to see him like this in person.
Hizashi glances over his shoulder, unimpressed by Kayama’s change in attitude, and then turns back to shower All Might with more attention, pulling him sideways to start giving him a tour of the teachers’ lounge.
All Might, as it turns out, is more of a dweeb than anticipated.
He’s nervous around the other teachers, and it doesn’t seem like he...knows how to make friends? Yagi hangs around the fringes of conversation, and gets overly freaked out when anyone compliments him. He’s shy when he’s not in his hero form. And to at least a few teachers, this is--unfortunately--endearing.
Shouta had (hoped?) expected Hizashi’s celebrity crush to diminish once the staff had found out that All Might wasn’t All Might twenty-four seven. He’d underestimated Hizashi, clearly, because the exaggerated heart-eyes haven’t ceased in the slightest. Hizashi must have already known. All Might’s appeared on his show a few times--he’s a better secret-keeper than Shouta thought.
(And Hizashi clearly has a type. No, Shouta will not elaborate.)
“You know there’s never gonna be anyone else for me,” Hizashi begins one morning as they approach the teachers’ lounge, “and you’re the absolute love of my life.”
Shouta says dryly, “But you would divorce me four times to go on a single date with All Might.”
He gets it. He may not agree with All Might’s teaching style, but he’s only human.
They enter the lounge together, and Yagi perks up from across the room. “Aizawa! Would you mind telling me more about the training facility we’re using today? I want to be ready.”
“What do you need to know?” Shouta asks, not breaking his stride as he responds. “I thought you toured it yesterday.”
While Yagi answers, Hizashi makes eye contact with Shouta to demurely fan himself with one hand, just out of Yagi’s eyesight. Shouta begins signing, THIRSTY. THIRSTY. THIRSTY. over and over until Hizashi sticks his tongue out at him.
“What?” Yagi asks, furrowing his eyebrows at the gestures Shouta’s making. He turns to look at Hizashi, who quickly schools his expression and beams.
“It’s--nothing! We weren’t doing anything, or even communicating at all,” Hizashi says. He tries to nonchalantly lean onto the arm of the couch, but misses and fully falls to the floor, and Shouta does everything in his power not to smack his palm into his forehead.
“Um,” Yagi says, and hurries around the coffee table to help Hizashi up. “Yamada, are you alright?”
“I am now,” Hizashi says, stars in his eyes as Yagi takes his hand.
Shouta has a headache, suddenly.
“Honey,” Hizashi says, and pats Shouta’s arm to get his attention. “You know this is just for fun, right?”
“Huh?” Shouta asks.
“ Obviously All Might’s a dreamboat, but I just think it’s funny to work with someone who I...used to tweet about.”
“If I remember correctly, you ran an account called ALL THIGHS-T that was--”
“Okay, shh. I know, I know.” Hizashi’s face is pink. “My point is, I love you, and I don’t want you to think that this thing is anything more than a joke. Okay?”
Shouta takes the standard moment to appreciate how thoughtful Hizashi is, before he decides that he can’t let this pass without some light retaliation.
“So, what I’m hearing is,” Shouta says, “All Might is fair game.”
Hizashi’s eyes widen in horror.
“Good to know,” Shouta says, barely hiding his amusement. “Good to know you’ve given up.”
“I made you tea,” Shouta says, and puts a mug down in front of Yagi.
It’s a tonal shift from the last time they’d talked (which probably included Shouta glaring Yagi down for picking favorites in his class), and Yagi blinks owlishly up at Shouta. Yagi's overdone it today, and is curled up on the lounge couch, trying to get some energy back for his meetings after the school day's over.
Yagi accepts the drink, and says a slow, confused, pleasantly surprised, “Thank you, Aizawa.”
Across the room, Hizashi has his hands steepled in front of his nose, trying to take deep calming breaths. His face is pensive, but he’s silently cheering Shouta on to successfully flirt for once in his damn life.
“Don’t mention it,” Shouta says. He tries to make his face into something that isn’t a bored scowl, and Hizashi frantically makes a cut it out gesture to tell him it isn’t working. Shouta gives Yagi a rather impotent pat on the shoulder, and both of them cringe because it’s the worst. “...Hope you feel better soon.”
“Thank you,” Yagi says again, and looks even more perplexed, because his condition isn’t something he’s expected to recover from.
Shouta retreats. Hizashi’s doing everything in his power not to laugh out loud, and his shoulders only tremble more when Shouta glares at him.
“ That was flirting?” Hizashi gasps, wiping tears out of his eyes.
“It worked on you ,” Shouta says, sour.
"That it did." Hizashi is still wheezing. Shouta smacks his arm, cutting a gaze in between him and Yagi (praying Yagi can't hear every too-loud word out of Hizashi's mouth), but Shouta can't keep a stupid smile off of his face either.