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"you've felt it, haven't you? those feelings that seem to get so big in your chest, like something is so beautiful it aches."
-heather anastasiu
**
They’ve left their house that morning as a couple, they’re coming back this afternoon as a family. And Wei Wuxian can’t even quite name the feeling that’s blooming in his chest as he looks at the rear view mirror and see the infant car seat that Lan Zhan had installed two weeks ago. It was empty all those days before, but now it holds an important bundle.
Lan Zhan follows his gaze for a moment before his husband concentrates once again on the road, and Wei Wuxian can tell that Lan Zhan feels the same as the other man reaches out and squeezes his hand. He squeezes back, just to remind him that this is indeed real. That he’s truly theirs.
Their own baby. Their little Lan Yuan. He smiles at the name because it’s so typical Wei Wuxian to give their son the most common name. But it was his first thought as he saw those round little cheeks. God, their baby is so cute.
Lan Zhan has been the one to assign the courtesy name. And because he’s Lan Zhan, poetic and amazing Lan Zhan, he chose a perfect one: Sizhui. And it summarises how this whole process had been.
**
Once they arrived, it’s Wei Wuxian who takes the sleeping five months-old out of the car seat. It’s still surreal, holding A-Yuan in his arms, feeling the weight of him and knowing that this child is theirs. It makes his heart grow twice it size again like it’s going to burst out of his chest.
Oh my god, he thinks as he looks down on the bundle in his arms, we have a baby. He tries not to cry again, he’s already filled today’s quota when they left the orphanage with A-Yuan as officially theirs.
‘Wei Ying,’ Lan Zhan says softly, as if knowing exactly why Wei Wuxian hasn’t moved from where he’s standing by the car.
‘Lan Zhan,’ he mumbles watery. ‘We have a baby.’
His husband has the same fond smile as he nods. ‘Mn,’ he agrees before he pulls Wei Wuxian by the waist and places a kiss on his temple. ‘Family.’
Rogue tears stain his face as he nods in agreement to his husband’s statement. And yes, his own family indeed. It’s been so long since he’d felt this whole, like nothing else will ever complete him because he feels perfect.
Sure, marrying Lan Zhan had been everything he ever wanted and more. But there’s always been that part of him that craved to have something to call their own. Not just a relationship. But a family.
And yes, a family doesn’t always mean a mom and a dad and a kid. But being an orphan at such a young age, and then becoming an outcast from his adopted family, the Jiang, there’s always been something missing with him. He selfishly desired a family that he can proudly belong to, no conditions or whatsoever.
‘C’mon let’s get inside, it’s getting cold,’ Lan Zhan prompts just as the late autumn wind blows.
The baby only has a small bag from the orphanage which Lan Zhan had taken out from the car boot. A-Yuan won’t be lacking of what he needs with how they have prepared everything that the baby might need: clothes, formula, toys, diapers, etc. But there was no way around not bringing A-Yuan’s favourite toys, so that’s mostly what the bag contains.
It was Lan Zhan who opens the door and Wei Wuxian follows. And seconds just after his husband opens the lights, a booming chorus of, “Welcome home!” greets them. There’s not even enough time to contemplate how their whole friends and family has been behind it all because an upset baby cry steals the show.
**
A-Yuan was easily appeased of being disturbed from his sleep. He’s quite excited to see his uncles and aunties, not to mention the colourful toys they’ve brought with them. And like the professional charmer that his father is, he’d managed to pull everyone’s heartstrings and wrap them all around his pudgy little fingers.
Everyone coos and swoons over A-Yuan and Jin Ling, Jiang Yanli and the Jin Zuxian eleven months old son. And all the while Wei Wuxian and Lan Zhan with the help of shijie and Wen Qing start to arrange their six person table for dinner. Who knew they would need a bigger table if all their friends and family come over?
It was the guests who had brought on the food for the celebration since the couple had not prepared for an impromptu family dinner. It’s just lucky that they had received lots of tableware from their guests on their marriage. It’s weird that six people all thought they needed a set of cutleries. But it’s highly useful at the moment, so he guesses it’s great they haven’t donated some of them.
When the table’s all set, nine adults and two babies tried to fit into their dinning area. It’s a tight squeeze but they make do. It’s Wei Wuxian, Lan Zhan on his left, Wen Ning, Wen Qing, Lan Xichen, Jiang Cheng, Nie Nuaisang, the peacock, and shijie on his right.
‘Maybe next time we can do it at home,’ Jiang Cheng announced, clearly fighting Nie Huaisang for a place on the table for his elbow. And somehow, trying to put a visible space between him and Lan Xichen, who’s seated on his other side.
Wei Wuxian ignores this small detail as he bounces his baby on his lap, the first time he’s gotten him back since Jiang Cheng had stolen A-Yuan after the baby calmed down from crying. ‘Madam Yu would not allow it.’
No one disagrees because until now Madam Yu is still cold towards Wei Wuxian, not that it’ll change any time soon, so he’d rather not hold his breath over it. Plus, Jin Ling is their legitimate grandson, and Wei Wuxian doesn’t want to impose his own son like that to the Jiang family. There’s just too much history of suppressed pain.
‘For A-Ling’s first birthday next month, then?’ Jiang Yanli offers, clearing the mood like the pure soul that she is, bless her heart.
Jin Zixuan nods. ‘Our dinning table is big enough to sit sixteen people.’
Wei Wuxian can’t help the eye roll, which his shijie eyes him in scolding as if to say, Be nice. He gives a small, sheepish nod in recognition. It’s just that old habits die hard. Not that what the peacock say it untrue because the Jin’s house is huge. Well, it’s literally a mansion.
‘As long as there’ll be lotus rib soup then that’s fine with me,’ Wei Wuxian says, smiling at his shijie who’s already distributing the soup to everyone’s bowls, one at a time.
‘What are you all waiting for?’ It’s shijie. ‘You can all start.’
And they needed no more prompting from Jiang Yanli as they all start to dig in into the food that everyone has brought: sweet and sour pork, kung pao chicken, dumplings, ma po tofu, chow mein, di san xian, stir fried veggies, congee for the babies, and so much more. There’s even a pecking duck. They really went all out for A-Yuan.
Once the eating started, so did the chaos. And looking at them, you would think they’ve been raised by a pack of wolves, Lan Xichen looks very startled. Lan Zhan had been used to the ruckus back when they all went for lunch in their university days. Lan Xichen on the other hand is five years their senior so this is his first hand experience of the racket Wei Wuxian’s family and friends can make.
Looking around, Wei Wuxian can’t help but smile as the pandemonium continues. Jiang Cheng keeps stealing Wen Ning’s chicken, Huaisang is putting all his carrots on Jiang Cheng’s bowl, Wen Qing is trying to death glare Jiang Cheng once in a while for bullying his brother, Jin Zixuan regretfully eats all his broccoli that shijie had placed on his rice bowl, A-Ling’s spooned congee gets into his lap more than his mouth, Lan Xichen is quietly eating his vegetables. Even A-Yuan is fascinated by the melee of his new family.
Family. This is Wei Wuxian’s family, as well as A-Yuan’s now.
The waterworks threaten to come again as he realises that despite not feeling like he’s been part of the Jiang family before, he’d already had a family with everyone in this table — including the peacock. He’d had a family before he even thought about it. How did he not know?
He quietly sniffs, and Lan Zhan looks over to him with concern. He just shakes his head at his husband and gives him an assuring smile, feeding A-Yuan a little bit of congee before he gets jealous that everyone else is eating except him.
It’s been so long since they’ve had a huge family dinner like this. Everyone has been busy with their lives. Maybe he can propose that they do this constantly, at least once a week, or twice a month. It makes him nostalgic about their university days when life was a tad bit easier, despite him not missing any of his schoolworks.
After everyone has gotten their piece of food, it calms down a bit. Everyone seems to start little conversation with the person nearest to them. Wen Qing, an amazing doctor, is talking to Lan Xichen about medicinal tea for Uncle Lan Qiren. Jiang Yanli is helping A-Ling with his spoon so that he can eat instead of spilling the food everywhere, Jin Zixuan seems relieved and fond at the same time.
Wen Ning is still fighting with Jiang Cheng over some piece of chicken when Huaisang asks the latter about the art pieces he’d commissioned from New York.
Once again, something in Wei Wuxian’s heart aches at the sight of his family. He wishes most nights to be full of laughter, teasing, easy conversation, the latest gossip, who’s watching which show, brief work mentions. Normal. The normal that he didn’t have before afraid of saying something that Madam Yu would disapprove no matter how much his Uncle tried to defend him.
Normal. He glances at his loving husband, who’s helping him feed A-Yuan so Wei Wuxian can also eat as he contributes a sentence or two to the chatter around the table. Lan Zhan used to eat quietly, their Uncle Lan Qiren doesn’t like talking in the dinning table. But here they are.
Normal. This is their new normal.
It used to be Wei Wuxian who does all the talking at dinner, and in the long run, Lan Zhan’s able to contribute a few words as well. But most of the time, Wei Wuxian has to do all the asking before his husband supplies about his own day.
Now, with A-Yuan, they’ll be another person to add to their jolly family dinners, the only time they will eat together on weekdays. It’s nice to be surrounded by people you love, and who loves you back after a long day, to hear their concerns and the fun things they did and how they remember you when they found something that you like.
He likes this normal. Very much.
‘You haven’t touch much of your food,’ Lan Zhan states, pushing another half-a-spoon of congee in A-Yuan’s open mouth. His voice carries a tint of uneasiness. ‘Are you unwell?’
The whole table comes to a slow halt, all eyes on Wei Wuxian. There’s a mixture of worry and curiosity.
‘I can see you after dinner,’ Wen Qing offers, the mother hen that she is, same as his shijie.
Wei Wuxian waves her offer with his free hand. ‘I’m fine. Thank you,’ he assures, adding a genuine smile. ‘It’s been a surreal day. A good kind. And I’m grateful that you’re all here, that you’ve taken the time to be here.’
His shijie clasps his free hand. ‘Of course, we’re family.’ She’s got that soft, adoring smile as she gives his hand a squeeze.
He nods. ‘We should do this more often.’A chorus of agreement circles the table. ‘We shouldn’t wait for Jiang Cheng to get married and start his own family before we do a big family dinner like this,’ he adds, laughing when Jiang Cheng lets out an irritated Hey at his direction.
And just like that the sober feeling leaves the room and the chaotic but happy family meal continues, in between more teasing, and laughter, and life updates. Wei Wuxian couldn’t ask for a better family.
He looks around the table again, stopping last on his husband. Lan Zhan seems to have read his mind as well. They share a content smile, knowing that A-Yuan will grow up into a family full of warmth and tenderness. A whole lot different from his and Lan Zhan’s calculated upbringings.
Placing a kiss on his son’s head, he’s happy to give A-Yuan the family he deserves, and for A-Yuan on giving them a chance to have a family him and Lan Zhan had longed for.
fin.