Chapter Text
“Love?”, Lisa quietly calls out to the person peacefully nuzzling on her neck, admiring every single inch of her.
“Hm?”, Jennie replies
“Don’t.. Don’t leave, okay?”
“Silly”
Her giggle drowns the insecurity out. She won’t— she’s promised her countless times that she won’t. Lisa holds on to that, she wants to believe that this time, this love will stay not because she asked it to, but because it wants to, because it found a place with her.
It’s tricky, though. You can’t promise something time changes. You can be so sure you won’t or you will at that moment and change your mind after. Loving someone is never constant; it’s always a choice.
*ೄ ❀˚̩⁎˚•̩̩͙ᐝ❅˚̩̩͙
It’s been two years since Jennie broke up with Lisa and two years since Lisa disappeared, hoping she’d be able to bury the person she was and the person she was with.
Lisa left for California. She worked so hard to build her own art gallery and has been focusing on it the entire time. She hasn’t been in contact with anyone from her past and has kept it a secret from the people she meet. Some days she breaks down and starts missing Jisoo, her mom, her dad... Jennie. She wants to call them and tell them that she’s here, she misses them, she wants to come home. But she doesn’t. She feels terrible for causing them pain, she knows her family hasn’t stopped looking for her, she thinks if she gives it another year, they’ll list her as deceased.
Lisa visits Santa Monica when she can; when she’s losing everything. She thought that maybe if Jennie missed her enough, she’d know where to find her. She didn’t, though.
Not until today.
Not until she was strolling around and she heard the most comforting voice she knows.
Not until she stood in front of her, beaming with delight and relief.
“Lisa?”, she calls out to her.
Lisa gets dizzy. All this time, she’s done her best to keep herself alive without anyone’s help; the opposite of what she’s always done in Korea with Jennie. She’s scared and happy and she doesn’t know why. She’s over Jennie and Jennie sure is over her but there’s something so welcoming about seeing her again. Jennie is in front of her. Lisa has forgotten how it felt to see someone who can let all the tension in your body disappear.
“J”, she replies and flashes a gentle smile at her as if she’s been waiting for her for two years. “It’s been a long while”
Tears well up in Jennie’s eyes, her eyebrows almost meeting each other as her face falls to the sound of Lisa’s voice. “Yeah, it’s been a while”
She runs up to hug her really, really tight. She thinks if she lets go this time, she’ll have to look for her again. She thinks if she unwraps her hands around her, she’ll fall into pieces and scatter in places she’ll never see. She’s hoping that maybe if she hug her really tight, she’ll stay in front of her, on the ground, so she does.
Lisa was always the one to hug her first, she was always the one to come up to her with the brightest smile on her face and nuzzle on her neck. Jennie never knew how it felt to not have her arms around her when she does.
Not until today.
*ೄ ❀˚̩⁎˚•̩̩͙ᐝ❅˚̩̩͙
Jennie is waiting for Lisa to finish ordering for the both of them. She looks at her figure, she thinks about how tall she’s gotten, and how her shoulders seemed to become broader than it was before. Her hair is short now, dyed back to black and she got rid of her bangs. She’s always told her how she’d never do any of that. She’s surprised she even managed to recognize her. Maybe that’s just how it is, though.
Lisa carries their drinks to the table, puts them down and pulls the chair across Jennie out so she can sit down. “What are you doing here?”, she asks.
“I hoped I could find you here”
Took you long enough. Lisa chuckled and her stare softens at the sight of Jennie looking accomplished. “And you did”
Tears gather up in Jennie’s eyes. She’s been worrying about her for two years and started looking for her last year only. She went to Thailand, Switzerland, London and now, California. She hates herself a little for not coming here sooner. If there was anyone in this world who knew where Lisa felt the happiest in, it was her. “I.. I thought I’d never see you again”
“Wasn’t that the point of breaking up?,” Lisa teased as she handed her a yellow chick-patterned handkerchief.
Jennie takes it, she smiles at the sight of her childish hankie to try and disregard the comment Lisa made. She’s been so obsessed with finding her that she forgot that they were over. After that call with Jisoo, she tried holding herself down for the sake of her studies and for Irene. When she graduated the following year, she broke up with Irene and set off to find her. She left everything for her like she left her for everything.
There was a long silence between them. Lisa just stares out the window while she drinks her chocolate frappe. She seems unbothered with the cold atmosphere and Jennie realizes she has no place in her life anymore. Jennie used to do this with Lisa all the time. She’d just lay down with her and listen to her pulse, they’d say nothing but be so enveloped with the loudness of the love they have for each other. Jennie wishes it never changed.
“You know,” Lisa uttered, looking back at Jennie.
“I’m happy now”
Jennie’s heart breaks. It breaks so loudly at the sight of Lisa’s smile. She remembers it’s the same smile she wakes up to every morning, the same smile that comes along with her fingers making its way between hers.
Before Jennie could say anything, Lisa’s phone rings. She apologizes and picks up.
“Hello?,”
“Oh, right. Yeah, I’ll be there in 10 minutes,”
“Alright. Thanks. Bye,”
Lisa turns to Jennie and says, “I’m sorry to cut this short but this is all the time I can give. It was nice seeing you”.
“I– Can I get your number?,” Jennie stutters
Lisa pauses and looks down. She knows her responding to her call a while ago was big a mistake. She’s done so much to hide herself from everything and all it took was her name coming from Jennie’s mouth for all of it to come crashing down. “I’m sorry, this is as far as we can go. Please don’t tell anyone that you saw me”. With that, she leaves without taking a second look at her.
*ೄ ❀˚̩⁎˚•̩̩͙ᐝ❅˚̩̩͙
“You’re late,” A brunette with constellation-like moles on her face greeted Lisa as she stepped in her gallery.
Lisa walks towards her and kisses her cheek. “I missed you too, Mina”