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Steve sighed as he waited patiently for the elevator to bring him up from Tony’s workshop. A workshop where Tony, rather oddly, hadn’t been. This was saying something, as it was already 3:00 AM, and while it should be considered odd for any sane, rational human being to be up that early, Tony was only one of those two things. Steve just wasn’t entirely sure which of them he was.
Be that as it may, Steve had taken it on himself to look after Tony, especially after the man had broken up with Pepper over a month ago. Their mostly amicable break up had left Tony despondent and melancholy. Steve, and the rest of the Avengers, had decided enough was enough and locked Tony out of the workshop when he hadn’t come out for two straight days.
This had led to Tony becoming a fixture on the couch, fiddling with some sleek black box that, when connected to the television, had acted as some sort of very specialized computer. Tony had called it an X-Box, stating that it was very heavily modded, nothing like an off-the-shelf model, and then had promptly turned himself into a blanket wrapped burrito (Steve still hadn’t tried burritos, though Clint said they were delicious).
The fact that Tony was adorable wrapped up in a furry little blanket with only his face peeking out had done little to help Steve’s sanity as he had been trying to get over some very odd and unexpected feelings blossoming for his new friend and teammate. It wasn’t a shock to Steve, in that he had always known he had been attracted to fellas. He had liked dames, too, that wasn’t in question. But neither was the fellas thing. And he wasn’t exactly surprised to be attracted to Tony. Tony was attractive. And adorable. And singularly selfless in any and all situations.
Steve let out a second, longer sigh. He really needed to get Tony off of his brain. Granted, the best way to do that was probably not drag a burrito of a genius into his room at an ungodly hour to ensure that the man had enough sleep, but hey, Steve wasn’t exactly credited for knowing when to stop, either, so there was that.
Steve jolted to a stop when he entered the common room.
Tony was a burrito.
And the X-Box was on.
Those were the only things that bore any similarity to what he had been expecting.
Tony had, once again, completely wrapped himself up in the blanket. However, this time, Tony had already fallen asleep. That wasn’t the part that had caused Steve to pause. In point of fact, Steve was actually rather happy that Tony was getting sleep. Tony spent far too much time attached to the television since they had locked him out of the lab. The only reason Steve hadn’t thrown the little black box out the window was because it was easier to find and corral Tony when he was in the common room. The part that had caused Steve to pause was that Tony had fallen asleep on Thor.
Thor who was playing Tony’s television game.
Steve felt a little tic start in his eyebrow.
Yes, it was conceivable that Steve, perhaps, felt a little envious towards the fact that, while he and Tony had been attempting to get to know one another and find a stable basis for a friendship, Tony and Thor were already “besties.” At first, Steve had been surprised to find out that Thor had moved into the tower with his girlfriend, Jane, when Tony had offered her and Erik Selvig a job at Stark Industries.
Thor and Tony had apparently hit it off shortly after.
And, maybe, it was conceivable that Steve was, perhaps, a little bit envious that Tony felt comfortable enough around Thor to fall asleep on the man. Steve had been trying to get Tony to sleep and take care of himself for a while, but Steve was just a little bit – barely at all, really – miffed that Tony just fell into Thor’s lap, apparently without second thought, while Steve had to literally drag Tony to his bedroom. Steve was still glad Tony was getting sleep. He just wished Tony would fall asleep in his lap.
“Captain!” Thor’s usually booming voice was modulated to prevent Tony from waking up. Thor beamed a wide smile at Steve, but seemed completely unconcerned with the burrito snuggled – snuggled – into his lap.
Steve fought a smirk. He quickly whipped out his phone and took a picture. Tony had been the one to help him out with some of the odder modern technology, which had been something he had grasped more easily once Tony had given him a StarkPhone. Tony had commented more than once that Steve had turned into a shutterbug, usually when Steve managed to catch Tony in a compromising position. Steve was sure he could use this to force Tony to sleep again sometime later. Those new “social media” sites were fairly useful for that type of thing. And, besides, just because Steve was feeling a tad maudlin about Tony not going to sleep easily around him didn’t mean that Steve wasn’t above getting some good pictures for laughs.
“Hi, Thor,” Steve murmured as he put his phone back. Thor was playing that game that Tony had been playing recently. Something about Old Books or Scrolls and dragons or something.
“Have you come to join in the festivities? Anthony has made me my own avatar to traverse the intrepid lands of Skyrim! I find it most intriguing that so many cultural works have been developed in the image of my own people.” Thor smiled brightly despite his unusually lowered voice. Tony did stir, though, moving to plant his face down into Thor’s…lap.
Thor’s hand moved unconsciously to ruffle Tony’s hair.
Steve sighed, “Do you want me to take him up to his room?”
Thor beamed a wider smile, something Steve hadn’t been sure was anatomically possible, as he shook his head, “Nay, Captain. I shall bring Anthony to his chambers after I have completed my quest to slay the nefarious creatures known as ‘bears!’”
Steve gave Thor a closed lip smile and dropped his chin to his chest, shaking it as he left.
Apparently, the quest to slay the nefarious bears had taken all night and a goodly portion of the morning, as Thor was still there with Tony when Steve walked into the common room to get at the communal kitchen and start breakfast. “Did either of you get any sleep last night?”
Tony turned around, still wrapped in his blanket, “I managed to sleep. Thor was apparently bear hunting all night. I only woke up when the sun popped up and Thor started getting angry that no more bears were spawning.”
“The confounded creatures hide themselves from me! I will not stand for such cowardice!” Thor’s voice was now back to booming. Steve was glad that Tony had built Thor some stress proof controllers for the various implements that they used to play games on the television. He had made some for Steve too, though Steve had yet to really use them.
Tony wiggled towards Thor until he pressed hip to hip and shoulder to, well, bicep, to the god, “If you go to the cave again, you should find some more bears. Also since, you know, they’re not really spawning at your level right now, you could just buy some pelts. You have the gold.”
Thor pouted, “Nay, Anthony! My warrior shall not stoop to purchasing my way towards victory! Only a true victory through righteous combat shall gain me my just reward!”
“Is that why you’re a mage?” Tony’s voice was wry, but there was a smile on his face that Steve rarely got to see. Steve wished Tony would smile more often. He hadn’t really, since Pepper had left.
“The method of combat is immaterial, it is the spirit with which it is carried out that is of value.” Thor said loftily, though Steve could hear the smile in the Thunder God’s voice as Steve headed towards the kitchen to get started on breakfast. Tony would be hungry, and was a danger in the kitchen. Not that Tony couldn’t cook. It was just that Steve didn’t really relish the idea of having more sentient appliances running around. He already avoided the waffle iron after it had hissed at him for spilling some batter out the sides.
Steve quickly whipped up some pancakes after a few long moments of staring at the waffle iron (Steve was uncertain if it had been staring back). He cooked to the sound of Tony and Thor bantering and laughing at the antics that were probably going on in their virtual world. The sound of Tony’s laughter brought a smile to Steve’s face, and Steve cooked hoping that he would get a chance to bring a smile to Tony’s face on his own with the pancakes, as they were some of Tony’s favorites.
Steve carried a serving plate full of pancakes out to the video area of the common area. He carried some additional plates and silverware in his other hand while he tucked the maple syrup under his arm. Before the serum, the act probably would have sent the plates crashing to the ground. Now, however, Steve was more than able to juggle the plates and cutlery, the pancakes, and the syrup to boot.
He nearly dropped it all anyway when he saw Tony grinding his hips into Thor, pushing his chest against Thor’s, making the oddest noises, and…reaching above Thor’s head?
Steve recovered just in time to prevent a monstrosity of pancakes and syrup from marring the floor when he realized that Tony was trying to reach the television game controller that Thor was holding just out of reach. Tony was pouting as Thor smirked. “You will be able to resume your own adventure when I have finished ending the threat these foul ursine pose to Skyrim, Anthony. If you wish the return of this device, you shall divulge their locations to me.”
“Damn it, Thor! You’ve been playing all night!” Tony growled as he tried to reach higher and grab at the controller. Tony had since cast off his blanket, leaving him shirtless and in sweatpants. Tony really had no shame to speak of. And, apparently, neither did Thor.
Steve coughed loudly as he brought the food over and placed it on the coffee table. Tony glanced over at the food, back to the controller, and seemed to be running some sort of internal calculus before leaping off of Thor’s lap and piling a plate with pancakes before smothering them with syrup.
“I love you,” Tony said as he started inhaling his food.
Steve rolled his eyes, “I’d be flattered if I didn’t know you were talking to the pancakes.” Tony had flirted with Steve, and Steve’s food, so often that Steve no longer felt the butterflies in his stomach whenever Tony said the words. He did get a warm and fuzzy feeling watching Tony take such pleasure in eating something Steve had made, however.
Steve made a plate for Thor, whose eyes were glued to the television. “Thank you, Captain,” Thor said after Steve had put the plate on the table in front of Thor, “but I believe I shall take my morning meal once my quest is complete. I need only one more bearskin to complete my endeavor!”
Tony rolled his eyes, “Look, just make a left at the stream,” Tony pointed at the screen with his fork, which was showing a rather well rendered rendition of a bucolic landscape, “and you’ll come to a cave with a bear. Some fire and lightning later, and you’ll have yourself a pelt and I can get back to freeing Skyrim from Imperial control.”
Thor frowned even as he followed Tony’s instructions, “I think that the Realm of Skyrim, while noble and beautiful, would best remain in the protection of the Empire. The Realm would be weakened were they forced to isolate themselves from the rest of their brothers and sisters in arms against these strange elves that seek dominion over the Realms of Tamriel.”
Steve sighed and started on his own food as Thor and Tony debated the hypothetical merits of a hypothetical province separating from a hypothetical empire. It didn’t take very long, though, for Thor to find and slay his bear in a flash of fancy fire and lightning that came out of the person’s hands an awful lot like Tony’s repulsors did when he was in the Iron Man suit. He then “looted” the pelt from the body, which seemed rather easy to Steve as there was no skinning or knife involved in the process, and hared off to a town where some dame gave Thor some cash for the bear pelts.
“I believe I shall take my meal in my chambers! I find myself more fatigued than I thought in my hunt for those creatures.” Thor said with a tired smile as he picked up his plate and utensils, “I will join you later, my friends, after I have rested!”
Tony waved goodbye to Thor even as he leapt on the controller the god had abandoned. Thor had already saved his game, which apparently meant that he would pick up where he left off when he got back, leaving Tony to fire up his own version of the virtual world.
Tony was immediately greeted with a large blond Nordic man, “Welcome home, love.”
Steve blinked.
Tony, without taking his eyes from the screen, apparently noticed, “Skyrim doesn’t really care about gay marriage. I didn’t want to marry him until he hit his level cap, though, so I had to wait a bit.”
Steve stared at the character Tony was married to. He had a scruffy beard, shoulder length blond hair, and had a giant hammer on his back.
“What’s his name?” Steve was very proud of how his voice managed to stay neutral.
Tony, however, was now apparently to ensnared in the game to look back at Steve when he responded, “Argis.”
“And how is the married life?” Steve tried to joke. The question came out sounding a little bit strangled.
Tony shrugged, “Not bad. In my head canon, Argis is a big blond buff teddy bear with abs of steel and amazing boobs. The sex is awesome.”
Steve tried very hard not to choke.
“I, uh, pancakes. And dishes. Yeah. I’ll be in the kitchen.” Steve muttered before grabbing his and Tony’s clean plates and rushing towards the kitchen.
“If you’re making more pancakes, I won’t object!” Tony shouted as Steve retreated.
Steve didn’t know what to do. He was, perhaps, a little bit depressed that Tony was pining after Thor to the point where he had married a carbon copy of Thor in the television game. And the way he had talked about “Argis” had Steve blushing. Tony had gone on at length about his “head canon” regarding his husband. It was all complimentary, although in Steve’s opinion “Argis” showed about as much personality as a brick, especially in regards to “Argis’s” sexual prowess.
Steve really didn’t think that Tony and “Argis” were right for one another. Steve didn’t exactly know what other options had been available to Tony, but, surely, someone as attractive as Tony could have taken up with someone other than a man in a committed relationship? (Steve may or may not have had his own ideas of what “Argis” and his backstory were like.)
It did not escape Steve’s notice that Thor’s avatar and mage character, which shot fire and lightning from his palms, was on the shorter side, darker of skin than most of Skyrim’s native population, had dark hair, and sported a van dyke for facial hair.
Steve had been given ample opportunity to discover this as Tony and Thor were together all the time. When they weren’t playing the game, they were sparring in midair. When they weren’t sparring in midair, they were bouncing stories off of one another. And when they weren’t doing that, they were discussing the hypothetical politics of Skyrim and Tamriel and a bunch of other fantasy gobbledygook from some other games that Tony was apparently getting Thor to play. Something about the Age of Dragons and Size Effects or Witches and Warlocks or Worlds of Craftiness.
Tony never invited Steve to play games.
Not that Steve was jealous of Thor. Tony spent whatever free time he had, when not playing games, with Steve. And Tony seemed to be improving from the moribund and morose figure he had been after his break up with Pepper, which made Steve genuinely happy.
All the same, Steve wished Tony would play television games with him some times, too. Or maybe board games? Steve had heard Tony discussing some game about dungeons with Bruce one time. If it were a board game, Steve was sure he could learn it.
It took Steve an hour and a half of research into tabletop RPGs before he realized that he was, maybe, just a teeny tiny bit, jealous of Thor.
Steve decided that he would play a lawful good paladin devoted to the god of light. And if his paladin happened to be offended by any large blond warriors and pound them into the dirt, well, they were heathens and deserved it.
It had taken Steve a week to set everything up. He had asked Bruce to play dungeon master. He had brushed up on all the rules for all the iterations of all the Dungeons and Dragons versions, and a couple other popular table tops besides, just in case. It had taken some convincing, but he had gotten Clint, Natasha, Bucky, and Sam to agree to play, as well. He had even made several character sheets for each of them so that he could party with Tony and they could go on adventures together no matter what the circumstances.
He had even painted some landscapes for JARVIS to take and make holograms with, so that he and Tony and Bruce and Sam and Natasha and Clint and Bucky (and maybe Thor) could adventure in an amazing environment.
Steve’s plans and thought processes stuttered to a halt upon seeing Tony, alone and wrapped like a burrito, playing Skyrim. He was in his house, alone, with Argis. Who was sporting a shield. A shield that was red, white, and blue. Argis had also cut his hear and shaved his beard.
“Tony?” Steve asked softly.
Tony jumped up in shock, “Sweet lady of solder!” Tony paused the game, obscuring the view of the new and improved Argis. “Oh! Steve! Hey!” Tony was blathering. “Yeah, I didn’t expect you around here. Yet. You’re always in the gym around this time, or painting, or whatever it is super soldiers do at whenever this is. Yeah. So. About that, I just want you to know, this is not–”
Tony’s litany of excuses and explanations was cut off as Steve kissed him full on the mouth.
“So,” Tony said, his voice ragged as Steve broke the kiss, “you’re not mad then?”
“Mad about what?” Steve asked as he bent down to nuzzle Tony’s neck. He was bending down too far, though. Maybe he should just pick Tony up?
“Well, I did kind of make an expy of you in Skyrim that I could have video game sex with. And imagined sex with. And, what are you–”
Steve decided that the best way to prevent Tony from digging himself into a hole was to kiss him. It simultaneously accomplished the task of stopping Tony from talking and stopping Tony from making assumptions. So Steve had picked Tony up by the waist, was pleasantly surprised when Tony had hooked his legs around Steve’s waist, and had kissed him silly.
“I’m not mad.” Steve chuckled quietly into Tony’s lips, dipping his head down so their foreheads were pressed together even as Steve reoriented his hands so they were resting on the muscles of Tony’s rear, “I actually thought he was Thor.”
Tony smiled in return, “Right idea, wrong blond. So. I assume you weren’t on your way down here to discover that I had modded Argis in secret to be you. What’s up buttercup?”
Steve kissed Tony lightly on the lips before asking, “Want to play some Dungeons and Dragons?”