Work Text:
The click of the shutter synchronizes with the realization that hits him.
Jaehyun was five years old when he received his first camera. It was a light blue colored toy camera that had a tiny neon strap attached to it. He’d putter around in his house pretending to click pictures of everything and everyone, his parents always indulged him, giving him fake poses for his equally fake camera. That’s probably why he never stopped clicking. The older he got, the heavier his camera weighed.
His camera never leaves his side, always waiting to be lifted. Naturally, his camera roll is filled with pictures of his friends, some candid, some posed. He loves those fleeting moments he captures, the stolen glances, the toothy smiles, bashful grins, he especially treasures those. But he realizes, through trial and error, that not everyone likes being photographed. The perfect example being his roommate. Yuta always covers his face with the back of his hand or he hastily palms the camera lens. “Can you stop trying to click my pics,” Yuta whines, slapping the camera away from Jaehyun’s hands for the hundredth time. “One day,” Jaehyun giggles, shutting his camera off. Jaehyun’s hands itch every time he sees Yuta excitedly explaining the plot of the new anime he’s watched, or when he throws his head back in laughter at something silly he just said, or when he’s completely immersed in sketching out the dimensions of a building for his architecture assignment, he wants to reach out and just press his finger on the shutter button.
Jaehyun taps his feet restlessly against the edge of the table making Yuta raise his brows at him,“Let’s go to the beach,” Jaehyun suggests, it should be an easy question to ask, so it’s needless to say he’s surprised at how anxious he feels.
Yuta stops the furious typing on his laptop to look at him, “Now?” he asks.
Jaehyun nods slowly, “Yeah, I thought you could use a break,”
The words were supposed to sound casual, but they don’t. He sounds so sincere that Yuta pauses for a second, he looks back and forth between the laptop and him. “I do need one,” he finally says, folding his laptop and sliding it into his drawer.
The water laps at his feet as he kneels down on the sand, trying to find the perfect spot to capture the buoyant waves hitting the shore. He clicks a few pictures and lets the camera hang around his neck for awhile. He twiddles his toes in the sand and the sound of the waves lull him to comfort. His eyes move from the small, sparkly stones on the shore to Yuta, who is sitting a few meters away from the water, scribbling away in his notebook. Yuta meets his gaze in that very moment and gives him a smile that looks more radiant than the sunrays kissing his skin. Jaehyun’s hands itch again.
Jaehyun goes back to snapping some more pictures, although he can still feel Yuta’s eyes trained on his every move, he turns around and throws a wink in his direction, letting him know that he knows. Yuta stills, and his eyes immediately fall on his notebook and Jaehyun can’t help but chuckle at how flustered Yuta seemed.
Jaehyun walks over to Yuta and falls down in place next to him. Yuta closes his notebook and shuffles closer to him, his knees brushing Jaehyun’s. A slight wind whips around them, tousling Yuta’s hair, which appears to be a lighter shade of brown under the sun. The sun is setting behind him, and the sky is painted all shades of yellow, red and pink. It doesn’t get dark though, not when Yuta is shining brighter in front of him. It’s a knee-jerk reaction at this point, to capture anything pretty he sees. His left hand involuntarily cradles the lens as he brings the camera close to his face. He waits for Yuta to shy away, or slap the camera away.
He waits.
One, two, three, he doesn’t, not this time.
He moves his shoulders so as to give Jaehyun his full attention. He gives him a small smile, urging him to click his picture. Yuta is staring at him, eyes colored with specks of gold from the setting sun, the sea-breeze rustles his hair, making him run his hands through it messily. Jaehyun feels the wind knocked out of him, he doesn’t quite understand why. He cowers under his stare and finds it easier to look at him through the lens of his camera. Yuta is grinning from ear to ear and Jaehyun finds it hard to not focus on his lips, the lips that break into smiles so easily. There’s a dull ache in his chest, flashes of Yuta teaching him how to cook the best takoyaki (not really), Yuta begrudgingly joining his long morning walks, Yuta humming his favorite Jhené Aiko song, they all cloud his mind and he finds it difficult to breathe. The sound of the shutter button grounds him to reality, reminding him to breathe in the salty air. For the first time, Jaehyun doesn't swipe through the previews once he's done clicking. He doesn't need to because, for one, the moment is glued to the back of eyes. And also it's foolish of him, really, to think he'd ever be able to capture that.
Yuta picks himself up and dusts his pants, “It’s getting late, we should get going,” he says, tucking his notebook under his arms. Jaehyun walks next to him wordlessly, his mind melting into the sand around him. He slows down, making him fall a few steps behind Yuta. Yuta realizes this and stops in his tracks and turns around to find Jaehyun just standing there, eyes glued to the ebb and flow of the waves. Jaehyun’s mind is still floating around the sound of the shutter, and the ache isn’t that dull anymore.
Jaehyun gives Yuta a cursory glance, “I can't photograph you,” he blurts.
Yuta trudges towards him slowly, his brows shoot up, “I- um, it’s-,” he fumbles through his words.
“At least, not right now,” Jaehyun adds meekly.
Jaehyun watches Yuta trying to make sense of the incoherent words being thrown at him, Jaehyun isn’t too sure if he understands them either.
Jaehyun shifts his weight from foot to another, “I don't think I'd be able to do justice,”
Yuta’s eyes widen, “Oh,” is all he says.
“I want to try,”
Yuta blinks at him several times. He takes Yuta’s hand in his own and rubs his thumb over his knuckles, his hands are a little smaller than his, but he’s sure they’d fit perfectly in his. He hears Yuta breathe in sharply.
Jaehyun’s heart hammers against his chest, “Is that okay?” he asks instead of confessing, because he is a coward like that, he only hopes his eyes convince him otherwise.
A beat. Yuta doesn’t say anything. Jaehyun already feels the lens cracking, obscuring his vision. Before it cracks completely, Yuta intertwines their fingers and smiles softly. He stands on his toes and presses his lips against Jaehyun’s, just a slight brush of lips. He pulls back, a light scarlet hue decorates his cheeks, and the warmth he radiates engulfs Jaehyun wholly.
“Let’s go home,” Yuta says, beaming at him, eyes sparkling brightly.
Maybe not every perfection needs to be captured, Jaehyun thinks.