Archive of Our Own

It's the start of summer break, and Jade has nothing to do.

The Salvatore School's nearly empty, save for some of the staff and a couple of lonely, straggler students like herself.

Home's not that far away, but her parents had told her it was for the best if she spent the summer at the school. It'd hurt a little, hearing them say that, but truthfully Jade doesn't really mind all that much. The few times Jade's seen them since she was first turned back in March, they've acted stiff and overly polite. She knows that they still don't know what to do with her. At least at school she doesn't have to walk on eggshells. At least here there's a plentiful blood supply right at her fingertips anytime she gets hungry.

But being here is boring. Jade's made a few friends since she arrived a couple months ago ― Wendy and Diego, both sixteen like her ― but they're gone, and there's nothing to do and no one to do it with.

At the little coffee shop in town that she frequents, there's a flyer with bright blue letters tacked up on the bulletin board: EMT classes at the local hospital.

Well. Why not?

*

Midway through her first EMT class, Jade notices the girl sitting a little ways over.

Cool hazel eyes. Long, dark hair. It falls in gentle waves around the girl's shoulders, framing her face. There's something familiar about her. Jade watches the girl twirl a strand of hair around her finger. Oh — it's a girl who Jade sometimes sees behind the counter at the coffee shop. It's different seeing her without her work uniform: a crisp white polo shirt with a matching sky blue apron and baseball cap.

Their eyes meet. Jade looks away self-consciously, embarrassed at having been caught staring. When she chances another look, the girl's still looking at Jade curiously.

The very next day, the girl plunks herself down unceremoniously in the seat next to Jade. "I'm Inez," she announces.

"Hi," Jade says weakly, feeling the tips of her ears growing hot. "Jade. Sorry for yesterday." She rushes to explain how she recognized Inez from the coffee shop.

Inez brushes her off with a smile. "I recognized you too," she tells Jade. "You're in all the time. You like your espresso, huh?" She tilts her head, studying Jade. "Hey, aren't you from that posh boarding school? Why aren't you home for summer break?"

"My parents are abroad for business," Jade says, amazed at how easily the lie slides off her tongue. "But I only transferred in last semester."

She makes it sound like it was nothing.

"Cool." Inez shrugs, satisfied. She looks about to say something more, but they're interrupted by the instructor clearing his throat. "Talk later?" she whispers, flashing Jade a conspiratorial grin as they open up their books. She winks, twirling her pen.

Jade finds herself grinning back.

*

A couple weeks in, Jade's surprised by how much she's actually enjoying this class. She's never been particularly interested in medicine before, but now she's beginning to see the appeal.

There is the issue of blood, however. Jade's thought a lot about that.

But that's a long ways off — if it ever even happens. As much as she's enjoying this class, she still isn't sure if it's something she'd like to do long term.

Inez's mom is a nurse; that's why she's in the class. Jade doesn't have the heart to confess that she'd only decided to sign up because she was bored. She makes up some story about a cousin doing pre-med out at Stanford.

"Want lunch?" Inez asks that Friday, as they pack their things up after class. "I'm starving."

They get pizza and sit outside in the middle of the town square, right where anyone could walk by. Wendy's told Inez about the weird rivalry between Salvatore School and Mystic Falls kids. But Inez's been nice right from the start, so maybe it's not such a big deal after all.

Jade leans back on her hands, legs splayed out. "Wouldn't you rather be hanging out with your friends?"

Inez shrugs. "I see them all the time." She takes a bite of her slice of ham and pineapple, chewing purposefully. "Besides, you're my friend too, right? We've known each other for two weeks now. And we haven't spent any time together outside of class!" Another bite. "Do you miss your family?"

"Not really."

"I wish I could live at school," Inez says thoughtfully. "That must be fun."

"It's not bad."

Inez nudges Jade's leg with her tennis shoe. "You don't talk much, huh?"

Jade wants to say that that's not true at all. It's just that when she's around Inez, she can suddenly never think of anything to say. Or rather, she's afraid of saying too much. Like how her parents haven't called her once since she last talked to them in May. Not even an email. Or how the school's so lonely and quiet. Or how much she misses her old friends back in Pennsylvania.

Thinking about it now, Jade's struck with a sharp, melancholic ache. She's still getting used to the idea that she'll never be who she once was.

But if she starts talking about it now, she isn't sure she'll ever stop. And she can't say those things. Not to Inez.

From across the road, a boy calls Inez's name.

A group of teenagers are waving to Inez and shouting at her to come over. Inez shakes her head with a chuckle, rolling her eyes. "Sorry." She stands, brushing off her pants. "Do you mind if I — ?"

She's already slinging her bag over her shoulder.

"It's no problem," Jade says.

It really isn't. Yet she can't deny the twinge of jealousy at how quickly Inez bounds off.

She knows that feeling all too well.

*

"So this is one of your favorite films?" Inez asks doubtfully, as Jade hits the play button on Jennifer's Body. "Really?"

Jade frowns, crossing her arms in mock annoyance. "What's wrong with it? It's fun!"

Inez's dubious look deepens.

They're in Inez's room — sitting on Inez's bed, specifically — for what was meant to be a study session for their upcoming EMT class final exam. It's a hot, lazy day in early August, though, and even thinking about studying makes Jade sleepy. When Inez had groaned and thrown her notes across the room, complaining that she was going to completely and utterly fail, Jade suggested a study break.

Truthfully, Jade doesn't need to study at all. She's got everything down cold. She's even had Ms. Tig quiz her on every subject, just to be sure. But she's happy to have any excuse to spend time with Inez. To be alone with Inez. Over the past few weeks, they've grown steadily closer, which hasn't helped cull Jade's burgeoning crush in the slightest.

"Well, whatever," Inez says, settling in next to Jade. "I'll take any distraction at this point."

"You'll do fine," Jade assures her. "Seriously. You know this stuff better than I do."

"I'm terrible at tests." Inez sighs, putting her head on Jade's shoulder as the movie starts.

This really is one of Jade's favorite movies; she and her (former) best friend used to watch it all time.

Right now, however, all she can think about is Inez's head on her shoulder. She can smell Inez's kiwi-scented conditioner. Her floral body spray. She can hear the thump thump thump of Inez's heart, the slow and steady rhythm of it. Jade tries to keep her own heartbeat steady, but she can feel it galloping away in her chest, and she's grateful that Inez just has a normal, human sense of hearing.

A little later on, sitting outside in Inez's backyard, they rush to eat their homemade ice cream cones, yelping and giggling as it melts in the afternoon heat, dripping between their fingers.

"Summer's almost over," Inez sighs wistfully, once they've finished.

Jade stretches out cat-like on the grass. It's nice and cool under the shade of a sprawling giant oak. Inez lies down on her stomach next to Jade, resting her head on her folded arms.

Inez says, "You know, this is one of the better summer's I've ever had."

Jade laughs. "Top ten?"

"Top five. At least." Inez grins. She pauses, then adds, "I'm glad I met you, Jade. Really."

If Inez knew who she really was, she wouldn't want anything to do with Jade. Before all this — before everything — Jade was just some girl. Inez doesn't even know that girl.

And she doesn't know this new Jade either.

Still —

"Me too."

What else is there to say now, except the truth?

*

Jade aces her exam.

She feels oddly proud of herself.

Even Ms. Tig is impressed, though Jade's not quite sure if that's all that meaningful. She's pretty certain that Ms. Tig would feel that way about anyone who elected to spend their summer doing classwork instead of slacking off.

"You're a smart girl, Jade," Ms. Tig says. "And I know you really liked your class. Have you given any thought to medical school?"

*

It's been nearly three weeks since Jade and Inez have seen each other, barring the times Inez's been working during one of Jade's daily coffee runs. Besides that, it's been nothing but sporadic texting between them.

Now that school's started up again for the fall, things have slid back into their normal place.

"God, you've been so mopey lately," Wendy complains. "Come on, what's up? Did your summer really suck so bad?"

A part of Jade really wants to tell Wendy everything.

But a bigger part of Jade would rather confess the story of how she became a vampire — a pretty girl and teenage angst, the whole sad cliché — than admit to Wendy that she has a crush on Inez. It's one thing to be friends with a townie. There's a distance to that. It's another thing altogether to constantly fall into daydreams about kissing them.

And it's definitely pathetic to be pining over one.

*

Jade's working her way through her second raspberry lemonade slushy of the afternoon when she hears someone call out to her.

"Jade?"

Inez jogs up, waving.

She's dressed in a black tank top and the smallest pair of jean shorts Jade's ever seen. Her hair's pulled to one side in a thick braid, and there's a small Mystic Falls Timberwolves logo painted on one on her cheeks. Jade's pretty sure no one should be allowed to look so good with carnival paint on their faces.

She's been very determined to come to terms with reality and put Inez out of her mind, but the moment she sees Inez, all of those stupid feelings come flooding back in.

"Hey you," Jade says, and does an exaggerated finger gun motions with her hands that causes Inez to burst out laughing. Jade likes the sound of Inez's laugh; it's a soft, lilting thing.

"You're such a nerd." Inez gives Jade a tiny, teasing shove. "I didn't think fancy boarding school kids went to these kinds of things."

Jade shrugs. She takes off her sunglasses, folding them into the collar of her t-shirt. "My friends dragged me here." She gestures vaguely back towards Wendy and Diego. "I didn't really want to come."

"Well, I'm glad you did," Inez says. She gives Jade a little grin that makes Jade's head go fuzzy. "I kind of ditched my friends. They're all coupled up," she explains, making a face. "It's so boring. Mind if I hang with you instead?"

Jade doesn't mind at all.

In fact, she can't think of anything she'd like more.

*

It's like straight out of a movie, how they eventually end up on the Ferris wheel together.

Dusk's settling in, and the sky's awash in cotton-candy hues of blue and pink and purple. Their car stops just below the top, which isn't quite as romantic as in the movies, but it doesn't keep Jade's heart from fluttering in her chest.

They gaze out into the distance, their thighs pressed together.

Jade's acutely aware of Inez, the warmth of her against Jade's own cool skin. She wonders if Inez notices it too.

From way up here, Jade can see practically all of Mystic Falls. Far off, she can see the sprawling estate of the Salvatore School, surrounded by a sea of evergreens. It feels so far away, suddenly. Up here, just for a minute, Jade forgets all about being a vampire. She's just a regular girl, on a regular maybe-date, with someone she really likes.

"This is nice," Inez remarks quietly, breaking the silence.

Their eyes meet.

Jade wants to kiss Inez so badly she can hardly stand it. She's wanted to all summer. And now more than ever.

But Jade's always been shy around girls she likes. All the pretty things that Jade's imagined saying, all her witty one-liners and clever words vanish in that instant. And in the time it takes to decide what to say or do, the ride starts up again, and they're coasting over the top and down back to earth, the moment gone.

When they disembark, Inez mumbles something about having to get back to her friends before they leave without her.

"Oh," Jade says lightly. "Yeah, sure. See you around?"

Inez hesitates. A horrible wave of trepidation washes over Jade. She swallows, her mouth dry. But then Inez's face relaxes, her mouth sliding into an easy smile.

"Yeah, okay." She reaches out and touches Jade's arm, just for a second. A reassurance. "I'll text you."

Hours later, Jade's skin is still tingling where Inez's fingers brushed it.

*

"Looking for someone?"

Wendy leans against Jade as they watch the Mystic Falls students file out of the bus, whooping and laughing among each other.

"No," Jade says, quickly. "Why would I be?"

"The look on your face just now." Wendy laughs. "I was only kidding. But there is someone, isn't there?"

"It's not like that," Jade says, as nonchalantly as she can manage. "Just some girl I took classes with over the summer."

"Hm." Wendy's already disinterested. She launches into a story about how she's totally sure that this is the year that Diego is finally going to notice her.

Jade's distracted, though, busy watching as Inez steps off the bus, dressed in her black and red football uniform. Inez's done her hair up into a ponytail, decorated with red and silver ribbons. There's a little dark smudge of black under each of her eyes. One of the girls — Jade vaguely recognizes her from the summer — leans over and says something to Inez that makes her laugh.

Wendy elbows Jade. "You're not even listening," she grumbles. She follows Jade's gaze. "Oh. I recognize her. Isn't she the one in that picture next to your bed?"

It's a photo from the little party from their last day of EMT class. In it, Jade's got her arm draped around Inez's shoulders, who has her own arm around Jade's waist. They're all smiles, making peace signs at the camera.

Inez looks over; Jade waves. Her heart skips a beat when Inez waves back.

"She sure is pretty," Wendy chirps, her mouth curving into a sly, knowing smile. She winks at Jade suggestively.

Jade can feel herself blushing. "Shut up."

She doesn't even know if Inez likes her like that. Or if Inez even likes girls at all. She's been trying to find a way to ask Inez directly, but it feels stupid to ask over text. She's definitely going to ask Inez soon. She has to. She might explode if she doesn't.

It's just a matter of waiting for the right moment.

*

As luck would have it, Inez comes and finds Jade after the game.

"We totally kicked your ass." Inez's grin is smug, but there's no malice to her words. "You're not very athletic, are you?"

Jade played field hockey for years before she was turned. She remembers summers of sprinting up and down bleachers until her legs ached, her skin slick with sweat. All the countless hours of practice.

But Inez doesn't know that. She only knows the version of Jade who missed all her tackles and dropped the ball almost every time it was thrown to her.

Jade feigns an embarrassed laugh and ducks her head. "That obvious?"

"A little." Inez's smile is softer now. Then, "Hey, I've gotta get back to the bus, but I wanted to ask you — there's gonna be like, a thing, in the woods this weekend. Like, a party. Did you want to come? You can bring your friends or whatever, if you want."

There's a hint of a blush on Inez's face. Is it Jade's imagination, or does Inez sound almost nervous? Jade watches Inez fidget with a trailing end of one of the ribbons in her hair, waiting for an answer.

Something clicks into place. Oh. Jade thinks. This is it. It feels like everything has been narrowed down to this one point in time. Like everything has finally come together, fallen into place.

"I'll be there," Jade tells her, delighting in Inez's pleased smile. "I can't wait."

*

It's a freak party.

Of course it is.

Jade feels so stupidly embarrassed. What was she expecting? She should have known. She'd let her heart run wild with imagination and sun-kissed daydreams. She'd forgotten that she wasn't normal — that she'll never be normal ever again.

Jade's eyes sting with tears, but she refuses to let them fall. She's not going to give Inez and her stupid Mystic Falls friends the satisfaction of letting them know she's been hurt. That they've won. She clings to this tiny scrap of pride, setting her mouth in a thin, firm line. She holds Inez's gaze for a few long, agonizing seconds. Inez looks away guiltily.

Jade swallows back the lump in her throat. It feels like the air is poison and her lungs are closing up. "Let's go," she says quietly to Wendy and Diego, hating the little tremble in her voice.

She turns, shoving her hands into her pockets. Even as she starts to walk away, a part of Jade is thinking, if Inez runs after me, I'll forgive her. But she knows, deep down, that things will never be the same. What they had — all those stolen moments — will never return. Inez's taken everything good and bright between them and ruined it.

*

It should end there.

But it doesn't.

*

Jade flinches when she feels the spray of warm blood across her face.

She can taste it on her tongue, the weight of its metallic tang. Oddly sweet.

And then everything goes quiet.

She feels something snap in her like a frayed rope. Something feral; needy; hungry. An itch screaming to be scratched. She tries to force it down, but it bubbles up out of her. The rush of blood in her ears. The pricking of sharp teeth in her mouth.

Oh, no.

(no no no no)

Inez pushes past Jade, running, crying, wild and frantic with fear.

Jade lunges.

*

Later, sitting on the cold, frost-bitten ground, she stares into the inky darkness of night, her mouth and chin sticky with drying blood. She can still feel the way Inez struggled beneath her, twisting and kicking. The slope of her neck; the soft, giving skin; the throbbing veins.

A memory:

Her summertime EMT course. The instructor at the front, explaining how long it takes someone to bleed out from a neck wound. Hollywood gets it wrong. It's almost never instantaneous. It's a slow, steady process. Jade, doodling absentmindedly in her notebook. Usually she's a diligent note-taker, but she's well-versed in this particular subject.

Inez, beside her, leaning over to scribble bored??? in the margin of Jade's haphazard notes. Jade looks up, smiling, and Inez smiles too, bumping their shoulders together.

The two of them, as they once were.

And never will be again.