Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

001. Crash

For weeks Koji had been unable to accept there were some who wanted to be his friend. Cold, almost aloof, he kept them at arm's length like everyone else; they however had shown a persistence that astounded him.

Unsure why, he found himself giving in, and in the company of and a strong-willed blonde hailing from Italy, a fiery rather reckless brunette and a magician extraordinaire in the making, he found his own icy exterior melting onto a pool at his feet.

He knew melting ice was dangerous; hard ice, completely frozen, was dry and friction kept one from slipping upon it. It was true one could get burnt if they stood for too long, but when the surface turned into water and lubricated the solid underneath, it was so easy to slip –

– and fall.

And so he did, losing his composure for a split second, and that was all it took for destiny to flip the tables on him. Takuya had said something; of late, his snipes began to provoke more of a reaction, much to his delight and Koji's own chagrin. He had at that point stood in retaliation, only to slip on JP's bedroom carpet and crash into the nearest person as they stood to stop him.

As luck would have it, that person was the only girl of their group: Zoe.

And the result of their collision was the blonde flat on her back with a grey rat sprawled upon her stomach.

002. Dim

Fuyuno was the Head of their Clan, and in particular the God of the Zodiac twelve. Like his name, he was as frigid and cold as the winter. He showed no compassion in expelling the Cat from their Clan; the twelve Zodiac Members did not even possess the truth of their identity. Just one day, in the black-dropped snow, a small figure being led away.

Someone had inquired to the taller figure. The Head had simply implied she was a foreigner. One who did not belong as a part of the Sohma family. One who did not possess the Sohma's blood in her veins.

That day, around him, people had whispered. Whispered to the cruel fate that awaited that woman who lead the Cat away. Fuyuno ignored that; he was frail even then, but younger and the strength of youth kept him stern and upright.

'Koji,' he had said to him. 'One day, you will meet the Cat again. He will come to you, full of anger and bitterness and the tang of revenge. But you are closest to God. You are the one who reigns victorious over the Cat.'

That was, perhaps, the nicest thing he had ever said to him. Other than that, it was the love a God gave to his closest underling.

'…because no-body else will love you...'

And he would lift the small rat up in his hand to a dizzying height for so small a creature, but with little regard thereof.

'…if they know this.'

And the lights in the sky would quickly dim as each repetition bit a little more of his heart away.

003. Futile

Zoe was speechless, gaping at the rat upon her stomach and the clothes Koji had just worn. JP, who had just come in with the drinks, almost dropped them in astonishment; as it was, one slipped and soaked Takuya's shoulder.

The younger of the two brunettes jumped back with a yelp as the cold liquid touched his skin. His eyes though were focused on the unbelievable sight.

And Koji? Koji stood perfectly still, knowing it was utterly futile at that stage to hide the truth. Or deny it.

004. Erratic

If Koji thought his sudden transformation had shocked the others in the room to the core, he had severely underestimated them. Or perhaps it was simply the fact that their behaviour was so unlike what he had expected that he wondered for a moment if they weren't somehow related to the Sohmas.

Which they weren't. Unlike him; his surname was different only because the relation came from his grandmother's side. His father's mother. It was surprising really, that with as little blood as they had of the Sohma clan, he'd wound up as one cursed with the Zodiac.

The fact of the matter was that a cursed person weren't tickled upon their true face being revealed. And Zoe was tickling him, finger lightly dancing upon his abdomen. And Takuya had finally muttered cool and was now holding his clothes.

Probably a good thing too as he transformed back right at that moment. Luckily JP too had been standing, and managed to cover Zoe's mouth to muffle her shriek as her own hands went to cover the more important sense: her eyes.

But even before the cloth of his shirt obscured his sight, he saw the shine in chocolate eyes, the tender curiosity in lighter brown, and the tickled-pink expression on Zoe's red face – albeit mixed with her embarrassment.

And he quickly slipped into the remainder of his clothes, wondering if it were really possible. That such people really existed, who could not look upon him with even the faintest of disgust.

005. Loved

'That's amazing!'

Koji stared at the enthusiastic brunet. 'What part of "curse" do you not understand Takuya?' he responded, somewhat snappishly.

'Like…everything,' the other responded cheerfully. 'Considering you kept it this big secret. What did you think though; we'd hate you or something?' He blinked at Koji's expression, before scratching a mat into the back of his head. 'I guess you did think that. But…' He threw a pumped fist into the air. 'Whoever thinks so is a first class jerk.'

'You certainly have a way with words,' Zoe muttered under her breath. 'But seriously, why…umm…and without…' She went a little red again.

There was nothing to be done but to explain, at least, the barest outline of the Zodiac curse.

'So you transform into a rat when a girl hugs you.' JP nodded slowly. 'That would make dating rather difficult.'

'Glad to see you keeping things in perspective,' Koji responded, somewhat dryly but still caught in a thrall of awe. Somehow, all three had taken it relatively in stride. Albeit Zoe had panicked a tad, but it was more likely the effect of him appearing before her naked than anything else. But that was, just like their transformation, when hugged by a person of the opposite gender or when their bodies were under a great deal of stress, unpredictable.

'And how am I supposed to give you a hug for your birthday!' Zoe cried.

Yes, that really put things into perspective. He couldn't help but smile a little; these people, people who he could now call his friends. People who really loved him, and not in the word but its meaning.

'Oh my God!' Takuya cried suddenly. 'You're smiling.'

And suddenly, he had three faces in rather close proximity to deal with.

Chapter Text

006. Soft

For Koji, it was new. And it was a soft, tender feeling, having friends who really didn't seem to think any different of him after his secret erupted out of the bag. Perhaps box would have been a more accurate descriptor: Pandora's box, releasing one thing and then a horde of fluttering bats afterwards until only the little butterfly of hope remains, crushed at the bottom of the box.

But for the time, such dark thoughts remained far from his mind. The universal truth that all good things came to an end.

But before that was the rise. And for a time, he remained intoxicated with that softness, that tenderness, of friendship and acceptance.

And when he looked at his reflection in the mirror, he found a light that hadn't been there before.

007. Hold

Of course, Fuyuno found out about his slip. And Koji knew as soon as he read the summons, redirected to him by a simple text message from his father. And to reject the summoning, or ignore it, was inconceivable.

It was the bond the Zodiac members shared with their Head: their God. Something unbreakable, unretractable. Something that caused each of them to collapse into tears in turn when they first prostrated before him, led by a parent with reverence or clinical detachment. In his case, his father, it was the letter.

His mother, he did not remember. Her name was never spoken on Sohma property. There were no photos to be seen, no stories to be heard. The one time he'd made the mistake of asking Fuyuno, he'd been punished. Locked without food nor drink nor sunlight till reason had fled from him. And then he'd lain in a sterile white bed recovering, and saw the cold blue eyes, framed with hair an icy white, staring at him as befitting of their owner's name, and he knew that question would never escape his mouth again.

That stare permeated his life; as the rat, every waking moment of his childhood was spent in that company, and while as he grew and began attending school that changed – eventually leading to him living with his father again, that hold on his life remained. How easily borders were grafted: defined. How firmly the memories of punishment engraved themselves with the lingering taste of death and decay: the Cat's scent, which he'd only sensed once in his youth while standing in Fuyuno's shadow.

And now, that stare fixated him . …not even a hint of the future to come.

And he sat: silently, knees folded beneath him as gravity, the weight of the God, held him in place.

008. Shackles

'You were careless.'

The difference between them, Fuyuno Sohma and Koji Minamoto, was years but not many of them. It was difficult to see any semblance of the closeness in age when the elder of the two looked more the part of an adult than a child, and the look of adolescent rebellion only enforced the distance that pushed them apart.

There was no, however, abandoning such a situation. It was true; he had been careless, and whatever came out of that was a bind like any other consequence. To lose the people that had accepted him while watching for afar, or continuing on as they were – the least probable occurrence by far – and carrying the burdens of a slow decay. A loosened chain in a sense, but not unbound. That was impossible.

'You were wrong.'

The cold eyes bit into him. 'About what?' the Head asked, tone unchanging.

Koji matched it, even if the iciness could not be matched, even by him: the "Blizzard" Prince. 'They still accept me.' He kept his voice level, controlled. 'They're my friends.'

'Really?' Still the same voice, the same pitch. Skin dropped over the eyes; the lashes met, intertwining themselves in a temporary closure. 'Then they can retain their memories for now, and you may continue to see them.'

As slim as the possibility was, the Rat could not help but be surprised. The next words however explained it all.

'You will learn…no façade lasts forever.'

009. Broken

There were times Koji hated Fuyuno. He had been given to the other at three years old, the way all those born under the Rat were, but the young Head of the family had not been interested in a playmate.

'Can you play chess?' he had asked, once they were left alone for the first time.

He couldn't. Not then. So the other taught him, by defeating him over and over again. And many of their other activities progressed in a similar manner. It was a hierarchy, a bond, that couldn't be broken. He grew, but the other remained as far away and aloof as he always was, and there was never anything that dragged him closer. Like the sun, worshipped by some but burning all that came to close.

Yes. Fuyuno may be the winter, but it was summer's scorching heat more so than a bitter cold that prevented one from getting too close to the God. And as he grew in the small alcove of shadow left for him, he found himself adapting those barest parts. Because of that, it wasn't long before he was given the title of the Blizzard Prince once entering elementary school. And to him, it was perfectly fine; he didn't need them any more than he needed the other members of the Sohma family, turning their noses up at him.

But that always brought about the question as to whether or not he needed Fuyuno. Truthfully, he did because he could not imagine how things would be without that barest tint of human contact, that firm cold hand at his back pushing him through life. How things would be with no definition, no directional pull. But it left him bound, restricted. He wondered sometimes – a lot of times really – what it would be like if he let himself connect with others. Play around with them, running and tumbling and bouncing around. But then they'd fall, skin their knee or such, and cry tears of juvenile pain and he would leave the idea because such things only brought pain in the end. More pain, as he watched a girl with a ugly scar laughed at and shoved about and then scorned and left alone, crying tears of bitter anger and blood. As he watched a dog with a limp set upon by other, larger ones of the kind. As he watched a single tall tree bend and break, leaving a severed trunk that matched all the smaller ones in height.

In between, he'd hate the coldness, the unnconnectability that set him apart from the thing closest.

But now that he'd found people who stubbornly persisted, who'd managed to persevere and befriend him, then persevere again after seeing a face, and he hated that coldness for a different reason. For the Zodiac curse was beyond that of transformation, beyond that of family politics. He was older now, he understood more, and his heart had warmed enough to feel a certain pricking to the cold. Like Eve's garden and the forbidden fruit, the taste wasn't something he could forget.

His family, the curse, Fuyuno – even if he had given his permission – stood between that. For his permissiveness was as cruel as to force one to abstain; to bow to emotion and lose reason until it consumed a person utterly. To make a pleasurable thing so horrible; was it worth that perhaps inevitable pain?

He bowed his head and dragged his feet. It was Eden all over again, he had to admit. For he didn't think he was capable of resisting that tide.

But…maybe one day, that bond, that curse…would be broken.

010. Precious

Koji came home to find his father absent again. It was nothing new; on the contrary it was to be expected. As far as the man went, he was only the boy's guardian on paper and his material provider. The house in that essence felt always cold, and that day was no different –

– except the phone ringing insistently in the silence.

He picked up the receiver, and couldn't help but smile…even if the retort to Takuya's teasing words suggested nothing of the sort. Banter was exchanged, a date set; nothing revealed the meeting he had, nor the possible costs that could follow. Light, unassuming, but somehow so perfectly harmonised with his heart.

'Hey! Are you listening to me Koji?!'

That was something precious, to be treasured forever in his heart.

'-and Zoe wants us to go to the photo booth –'

'That's a good idea.'

' – and…what?! Don't tell me I'm outnumbered.' A bit of grumbling followed. 'Be prepared for the worst picture in history.'

That was okay, as long as it captured their time together, no matter how long and short he wound up being…

'Hey, what are you angsting about over there?'

…because all the time in the world would be enough for one to become bored of happiness, and he could not waste what he had.

Chapter Text

011. Odds and Ends

To fit somewhere was always a difficult thing, and for Koichi it was especially difficult when even the skin he wore rejected him. His family, his mother and hers: his grandmother, were the only ones to smile about it, but even there was sadness and an inconvenience for them. For it broke easily: the slightest stretch, the faintest scratch…and easily infected too. When he was younger the pain of it would be unbearable, but it got easier with time. He put up with it. He accepted it. He got used to it.

It wasn't like he could change that; it was a far better alternative to being unable to breathe. That terrifying tightening of his chest. The sensation of being crushed in all directions, floundering without aim, without light…even if that light did sting, and burn.

For that relief, he could pay the price. Even if people stayed away from him. Even if it hurt. Because there was very little worse than being crushed in an ocean where no-one could see…or a black metal box in the end.

012. Tea

'Koji,' Takuya complained. 'You never come over to any of our homes, even when we invite you.'

'What are you talking about?' the other replied. 'I've been to JP's.'

'For an assignment.' The brunet rolled his eyes. ''cause Zoe and I were going there anyway and it made the most sense to meet up. But that's no reason not to hang out with us outside of school. You don't even come to the arcade with me and my brother.'

'Neither do JP and Zoe.'

'Well, they like different sorts of games.' He shrugged. 'I know you'd like the fighting ones though. And then we could go to that tea-shop down the street. Their strawberry daifuku is the best.'

Koji stared at him with a slight frown.

'Don't you like strawberry daifuku?' Takuya asked. 'They have other things as well, like apple pie – did I say something?'

'I'll bet their apple pie is nowhere near as good as my mother's,' the Rat snapped, ignoring the fact he could barely remember its taste. Perhaps it was the childish notion that a mother was the best cook in the world. Maybe because it was one of the few things he had left of her. Maybe it was because Fuyuno had ultimately put a stop to him wanting to know more, to know why…and he had been forced to content himself with what he had. Those singular memories that he had almost lost with everything else. That he had locked away to keep safe and to forget…

So how had a single mention of apple pie brought them back to the surface?

Takuya grinned at that. 'I'll take you up on that bet then, so long as you come to the arcade with me and Shinya beforehand. I'll even treat you. Games and tea: how does that sound? And you can stay for dinner too. Mum's making grill.'

How easily the brunet had roped him in.

'I can pay for myself,' was all he said.

'Yeah, but this is what friends do,' the other pointed out, waving his wallet…where a few yen notes fell out. 'Uhh…'

'You don't have enough, do you?'

'Umm…'

Koji shook his head, hiding the smile that threatened to crawl out. 'I've got enough for all of us.'

'Hang on!' Takuya grabbed his allowance. 'I do have enough for the pie, you know!'

'You just said that's what friends do,' Koji returned.

'So you think of me as your friend!'

The jubilance almost made Koji reconsider his statement. Almost.

013. Twisted

If hurting another person was wrong, then every person who ever stepped foot in the world was a sinner. The world was arranged in a hierarchy; within his own family the Cat was looked down upon by the others of the Zodiac, and those that new about them. Even those that didn't know did the same; they saw him standing in the snow before the Main House each New Years, frail and worn. Sometimes, they saw him as a monster of a different sort, with easy infections spreading through his skin like a wildfire no matter how many preventative measures he took. But even the Cat was better than an outsider; as twisted as that relationship was, at least he was still considered to be a part of the Sohma family. Even if no-one considered it a true part, less so since he did not bear the name. If he had, at least those ignorant of their situation would have considered him no different than any other Sohma.

His mother on the other hand…no-one considered her a part of the Sohma family at all, even though she had married one. And as a single mother, the rest of society looked down upon the two of them as well.

It seemed like their destiny: a world in which they did not belong. But that did not make it right. That did not make it acceptable. He knew his mother was sad, but for whatever reason – he feared it to be him – she had accepted that.

'You don't need to, though,' she always said to him. 'Unless…you can satisfy yourself with defeating him?'

She said it in a way that suggested she knew he could not do such a thing, that he could not meet the threshold the Head of the Sohma family had put upon him.

'Would you go away? If you had the chance?'

He hadn't answered that question immediately. 'Why didn't you Mum?' he asked instead. He knew the Sohma's owned quite a bit of the area they were in; his mother worked at one of the few places that didn't come under that family's jurisdiction and their apartment was another such place. But reminders of his father's, her husband's, family were so firmly engraved into their lives that the only way to avoid it would be to move far from Tokyo.

She had smiled sadly at him in reply. 'There are things…' she said softly. '…one cannot just abandon. I still love your father.'

In the end, he found it was the same for him. With all rights he should hate the brother he didn't know, who could live peacefully with a family that rejected him…and more than peacefully as he was the exalted Rat, the one closest to God.

It was a situation twisted and tangled to a barely recognisable state.

014. Echo

Being ignored was crueller than being struck, but it was difficult to see that in the moment of sharp pain. It was like the different of being stabbed clean through and pressed against a burning slab of steel; at the time the sword goes through the heart it is difficult to think of anything more painful, but the ancient Chinese used a pillar of steel as an execution method for a very good reason. Wrapped around that burning slab until they fell upon molten coals…and to keep holding on, if only because they needed to cling to life just a little longer, was an agony few really understood.

But direct wounds always hurt more when they were fresh, and watching those wounds being inflicted was like feeling an echo in one's own memory, like lying there and letting himself be beaten so another, the boar's, agony settled into satisfaction.

Later, covered in bruises and broken skin, he had cried hot tears of pain and bitterness, wailing at the unfairness of it all. But the Head had come, and said that was his place. His duty, to be crushed beneath the weight of the other Zodiacs like a sacrificial doll. But his mother had been angry when she had heard; his body and soul was his responsibility, she had snapped, and it was not for anyone else to decide what he was to do with it. Eventually, she had taken him away, separating herself from the Sohma clan…but as one cursed by the Cat, he could never be free of them.

Or of the life in the compound, and the few days a year he had to spend there, standing in the frozen snow while the other Zodiac members enjoyed the banquet. He had only ever caught the Head watching him, his expression as the snow that fell about them.

He felt the cool juzu beads around his wrist, then pushed the door open and interrupted the three boys within. The smallest of them uncurled and looked at him with two puffy green eyes; the older two looked a tad scared before the tallest recovered.

'Kimura?' he asked, as if testing the waters with the name. 'As you can see, we're in the middle of something here, so if you don't mind –'

The apparent side-kicked snickered. 'Yeah, wouldn't want you spreading your germs on our business.'

The two laughed; the younger boy started at the statement and trembled, but made no other move.

'Now, let's play –' The tallest boy stepped forward again, only to be stopped as Koichi stepped further into the room.

'What is he to you?' He realised only later he had used the word 'what' and not 'who' as his mother had taught him.

'What's it to you?' the other returned. 'But if you must know, he makes a good punching bad.' He knelt down, taking the dirtied chin in his hands. 'And he never tells, sweet kid.'

'Uhh…' The second bully looked a tad uncomfortable. 'He might.'

'Kimura? Please, he's practically a ghost student.'

Koichi said nothing to that.

'Now that I think about it, someone like that is a far better punching bag –' The tall boy swung at the other at those words, easily catching him on the cheek. The other's head turned slightly at the impact but that was all.

The victim was, unnoticed to the other three, fidgeting. 'That's mean,' he burst out finally, quietening again when the other two turned to glare at him. 'Stop it.'

'Giving us a lecture?' the smaller of the pair smirked, stepping forward. 'You're just a spineless –'

The other grabbed his arm.

'What?'

'I hear a teacher coming.'

And indeed, all four could hear footsteps.

The two bullies quickly departed down one corridor; Koichi touched the warmness of his cheek and went down the other. The last boy looked anxiously between the three directions before scurrying off after his unorthodox savoir, heart still quaking somewhere the level of his sneakers.

015. Soothe

The cold water felt like the snow on his cheek; it was going to bruise at the very least, but his skin had cracked slightly as well so the paper towel he was using as a compact quickly became blotted with red.

He heard the bathroom door open and close behind him.

'I don't get it,' the miserable sniff greeted him. 'Why do people pick on other people?'

'That's just the way the world works,' the other replied monotonously, replacing the paper towel in his hand with a freshly damped one. 'The hierarchy in which one person's pain travels to another person.'

'It's not fair though!'

No…no it wasn't. He hadn't chosen to be the Cat after all. He hadn't chosen to cause so much trouble for his mother…but it couldn't be helped. And she would worry about him again once she saw his cheek…

'Why didn't you defend yourself?' the boy asked. 'Why did you let them hit you?'

Blue eyes lowered slightly. 'Why didn't you?' he returned, dodging the question instead of answering it.

The green eyed boy lowered his gaze. 'I – I'm a weakling,' he answered. 'And they're bigger, and older – but you're their age, aren't you?'

More like in between the two age groups, for while he did share a class with the elder it was only because the tall boy had been held back a year and not progressed to junior high school.

'But you didn't want to fight back, did you?' Puffy green eyes blinked at him. 'You didn't care if they hit you.' He twisted his roughed-up shirt with nervous hands. 'Would your parents care?'

'Mum does…but she's the only one.' It was the simple truth; there was no need to hide such a thing. In truth, his grandmother would care as well...if she ever found out. But she was stubborn enough to take his father to court and that would wind up being a regional disaster and so his mother avoided informing her about their messed up family situation.

'I care.' The boy fidgeted some more. ''cause it was my fault. 'cause people always pick on me.' He stood on his tiptoes, trying to peer at the other's reflection. 'Did he hit you hard?'

'No,' Koichi sighed. 'My skin's just…fragile.'

'Doesn't that hurt more then?'

'No. I'm used to it.'

'But that's not – that's not fair.'

The kid was unbelievably endearing. If rather naïve. It was surprising the other had stuck around as longs he had, particularly as he had made no move to clean himself up. It surprised him even more when the other had shown indignation on his behalf.

'That's life.'

'Some God's not fair then.'

He was reminded of Fuyuno at that stage, and then for some reason, he started laughing. One hand shot out to support him on the sink; the Head of the Sohma family was no laughing matter but for some reason the peals of laughter escaped without restraint.

'Yutaka says laughter's good medicine.' The boy sounded much happier. 'I'm Tommy. Tommy Himi.' He bowed. 'Thank you for your help.'

Koichi turned, an odd expression on his face. 'Koichi Kimura,' he said finally, when the other beamed at him.

Luckily, the bell went at that moment and both of them hurriedly tidied up and fled to their respective classrooms, Tommy at least wondering what tale he would have to tell the teacher to avoid trouble.

Or maybe…he should tell the truth. Maybe he could; he'd managed to speak up after all, and gotten no extra pains for it like he'd thought he would. Even if it was luck that had saved him. Even if he had come very close to not speaking up at all.

But it had seemed somehow easier to speak in the defense of someone else.

Chapter Text

016. Fight

The arcade was nothing like Koji had imagined it. Somehow he'd expected more physical contact – something he'd been understandably apprehensive by. But while there were a lot of small crowds, they didn't really mingle with each other, instead collecting around a pair of boys racing or a girl shooting her way into the record books. That left several other games almost completely empty, and Takuya instantly dragged him over to one as Shinya went over to another where only a single boy, roughly the same age, was gunning down a space-ship with a black eye.

'Why do you have a black eye?' Shinya asked immediately, plopping down beside him and taking the other set of controls.

The other mumbled something.

Takuya frowned and abandoned the joystick he had been making for, going over to his brother and the other boy instead. Koji, at a bit of a loss but nonetheless refusing to admit it, followed.

'What happened Tommy?' He sounded serious; a first in Koji's knowledge.

The swollen eyes lifted, the look in them embarrassed and rather nervous. Luckily, he had the foresight to press pause before his little spaceship was blasted off the screen. 'I…got into a fight.'

'You mean some guys were kicking you around again.' Takuya sighed.

Shinya scowled. 'You should come to me,' he insisted. 'I'd beat them up for you.'

'And get into trouble,' the other two brunets said as one. 'Not to mention you're probably no match for them both,' Takuya added, much to his brother's chagrin.

'It's okay,' Tommy interrupted before the Kanbara brothers escalated into an argument. 'Someone helped.'

'Oh? Who?' Even Koji was interested; there weren't many people like Takuya (and apparently Shinya Kanbara was one of those people), and he could imagine very few others stepping in to stop a bullying situation at the risk of being inconvenienced or hurt themselves.

'I think he's in your class.' Tommy twisted in his seat. 'Koichi Kimura?'

They both shook their heads. 'Maybe Zoe's,' Takuya suggested.

JP was obviously not an option, having moved on to junior high the previous year and before Koji had transferred to the school himself. He only knew the other through Takuya and Zoe; they had been and still were close, even with an entire academic year between them.

'Katsuharu hit him though,' Tommy admitted, continuing with his explanation. 'Then I told him to stop, and then everyone disappeared because a teacher was coming.'

There was a pause, before Takuya clapped him on the shoulder. 'Good for you,' he complimented. 'Nice to hear you say something to them.'

Tommy still looked nervous though. 'But they'll make me pay for it later.'

Takuya looked at Koji. He gave an expressionless look. The brunet turned back and shrugged. 'You don't know that,' he pointed out. 'Most bullies are just cowards.'

'But fighting back's just as bad,' Tommy cried, half-standing before losing his nerve and seizing the joystick tightly with both hands.

Takuya looked a little uncomfortable at that. 'Oh, look. The racing cars are free.'

And he grabbed Koji's elbow and steered him away, leaving the pair of nine year olds to blow up space aliens together.

017. Naked

As Koichi had expected, his mother had been worried about the bruised cheek he carried home with him, fretting needlessly for a good ten or fifteen minutes before allowing him to go off with a nicely soaked dish-towel to reduce the swelling some more.

'After all,' she said. 'A paper towel can only do so much.'

But she took pity on the other after a little while and let him surrender the compass when the large lump had faded into something manageable. After all, no cat liked being wet, even if the cold water was a welcomed relief. Comfort for discomfort; it was another thing assessed by the cost to benefit ration like his medication. Only, with that, there was no clear-cut answer as wetness had to be tolerated, even if it did leave him feeling lethargic and his math homework taking twice as long to complete.

But things were still a little tense, even if math homework provided a good distraction…if only because he needed to give it his full attention and that was difficult to do when part of his brain was complaining about the moist towel pressed against his cheek.

All things considered, he was lucky the skin broke so easily; it would only be red by the following day, instead of purple or black as most others would have sprouted.

But that didn't stop the atmosphere from sharpening, even as he finally finished his worksheet and began on something easier, his mother turning the gas stove off at the same time.

'Koichi,' she said finally, sounding both disappointed and concerned, before sighing. She knew her words were useless in such situations. 'Are you feeling okay?' she asked instead. 'Would you like to go to bed early tonight?'

Koichi shook his head. 'I'm fine,' he said quietly.

His mother looked at him, before suddenly coming over and embracing him, tightening her grip when she felt the human form morph into the black feline. The abandoned uniform slipped off the chair and onto the floor; paws scrambled uselessly for them.

'Forget the clothes,' Tomoko scolded her son. 'I've told you this before; I don't care if you're the Cat of the Zodiac or not. You're my son, and I don't want to see you unnecessarily hurt.'

Fur gently nuzzled her cheek, but the touch was still tentative, still hesitant…and it hurt her more than a vicious wild monster ever could.

I wish I could have protected you…or made you forget…

But she had been able to do none of them, and it appeared she was even too late taking him away from that life, for it had marked him too deeply, enough to make him completely apathetic to his own wellbeing. All she could really do was warm him in her embrace and nurse him back to health when he fell…if even that.

But nothing and no one was going to deny him her embrace.

018. Push

They heard a crash around the next bend of hallway, and even though both were late (thanks to Takuya attempting to shoot another goal before the bell), they stopped to investigate.

Or rather, Takuya stopped as anything that sparked his curiosity was, for him, more fascinating than sitting through a forty minute lecture on magnet properties. Koji followed simply because the obstruction was blocking their way. Crashes were common enough when hundreds of students collected in a confined area.

It was not however common to find an asthma inhaler skidding along the floor, and thus Koji was watching it hit the opposing wall as he rounded the corner…and crashed into Takuya who had stopped walking, jaw open.

The Rat was perfectly prepared to none-too-politely shove the brunet out of the way when another crash, accompanied by a started yell, pierced the air.

'Pinch me,' Takuya muttered, before exclaiming when Koji did just that. 'I didn't mean literally.'

'You shouldn't have said it then,' Koji hissed back, taking in the scene before him. The only one standing – seemed a tad younger than the pair of them – was backing away, wide-eyed with jaw fly-catching. A second (or third if on included the spectator) brunet was half slumped against the wall, evidently shoved with quite a bit of strength as he was wincing and rubbing his head amidst the shocked expression he sprouted.

The third, with hair black but appearing somewhat bluish under the microscope light, was on his knees, clutching his chest with one hand as he gasped for breath, curtain of short-cropped hair concealing his face as his other fumbled forward. When nothing came under hand, he crawled – or dragged was perhaps a more accurate term – himself forward until his hand enclosed around the inhaler and the cool plastic was touching his lips.

The inhaler cluttered to the floor again when the Vice Principal's voice suddenly boomed out.

'Just what is going on here?'

Takuya jumped. Koji just managed not to. Katsuharu, the brunet who had hit his head and who also happened to be a classmate of theirs, also managed not to but his side-kick had no such restraint.

The fifth, also unfamiliar, was just slumped bonelessly against the wall, attempting to even out his breathing. The Vice Principal's gaze immediately focused on him.

'Minamoto, take Kimura to the infirmary.'

Takuya made to move as well, but an arm swung out to hold him back.

'Hold on Mr Kanbara.'

'But I had nothing to do with this,' Takuya protested.

'Kimura's the one who shoved me,' Katsuharu muttered at the same moment, sounding rather sour.

'You knocked his inhaler out of his hand when he was having an asthma attack!' Takuya yelled back at him.

'Kanbara, Kobayashi,' the Vice Principal barked before a second fight – if the first could be called a fight – broke out. He amended when catching sight of the third. 'Yamaguchi. My office, now.'

019. Alive

When the inhaler was struck from his hands and fell out of sight, Koichi's first instinct was to shove all opposition away and find it. The tightness in his chest had snuck upon him with little warning (as they sometimes did), and when it did it obliterated every other thought and instinct from his mind. Humanity became drowned in the animal; survival rose to the forefront. He scrambled – shaking, panting, combing the darkness – till his hands closed around the cool plastic and he brought it up to his lips in a well practised motion.

Three puffs later, he slumped against the wall, feeling the vapour opening up his cramped airways and letting air in. A tremor quickly set in; his head spun in dizziness, but that did not stop the thirst for air. Light slipped back in, along with snatches of voices, sounds – someone carrying him –

None of that fully registered, save the air passing through the lungs and the pain in his now expanded chest, telling him that, for the time being, he was alive.

As he lay a little later in a small cot in the infirmary, he realised it hadn't been a particularly bad asthma attack; his post-attack tablets and a nap had him feeling better and a trip to the hospital was mercifully not needed. Sadly, his mind didn't quite agree; it had been a while since his last asthma attack since the glucocorticoids were a preventative measure to such events. Of course, they weren't perfect, but he had been rather young when he had been hospitalised for a few weeks because of a series of detrimental attacks.

But when one's chest tightened and that precious air was stolen, the mind found it very difficult to differentiate between a mild asthma attack and a life-threatening one. After all, even a low-grade attack could kill in the time it took for the puffer to take effect…if it did…

But it had worked for him, and he was grateful for it. At that moment, he was still seeing things in black and white, and so it was very easy for him to think he was glad to be alive.

020. New

Koji usually avoided people; Takuya had been the first exception, and things had rolled downhill from there, leaving him helping someone he didn't even know to the infirmary and then returning to class without a note explaining his absence.

The teacher looked both surprised and disapproving; avoiding company meant he was rather punctual so it was unusual to find himself late for anything. Unfortunately, that inexperience also meant he had not thought to ask the nurse for a slip.

He was just lucky Takuya showed up with a note excusing the both of them for their lateness, elsewise he would have wound up with a detention on his record. Another first.

Of course, that one would have had to go through his father as all detention forms needed to be signed. That left him thinking how his father would have reacted to the anomaly…but reconsidered. He had fought hard enough to be allowed to go to an ordinary "school", even as he thought the effort would be wasted and nothing accomplished thereof. Now that knew he was wrong though, he was not willing to give up that opportunity.

And it wasn't like he had transformed at school. Yet.

Chapter Text

021. Born

Koichi awoke feeling drained; his chest still ached, but his body had warmed under the blankets and quelled the shivers raking his body. The comfort far outweighed the dull ache though; it was another thing associated with the form of the Cat, but at least that wasn't wholly disadvantageous. After all, cats craved warmth, and sunlight…and the sun was streaming in through the open curtains to add to that effect.

Too comfortable to want to leave really; he wanted his mind to lull away into shadow waves and settle back into sleep.

A disadvantage to that attraction to warmth was the ease at which his skin burnt without his notice, leaving open new doorways to infections. Sunburn was a given even with long sleeves and a cap covering his face in the summer; it was unavoidable even if he did manage to stay indoors the entire season. Somehow just having the winders open on an especially hot day resulted in leaving burns along his exposed (and sometimes unexposed) skin…typically down his face and neck and arms. Soaking them with cold water was entirely unpleasable, and he would gladly put up with the burns and the comfort of dry warmth if his skin wouldn't sting in the dry air afterwards…or swell with fluid and tinge green. Even between their best efforts, his skin managed to attract infections throughout the summer like mosquitoes; he was luckier in winter, but the months left him feeling drained and despondent. And it didn't help matters that New Year's fell within that time.

But there was nothing to be done but tolerate it all, because he could not control his circumstances for birth any more than his mother – parents – could. All he could do was accomplish something, find a purpose in something, within his life.

After all, nothing lasted forever. And that warm fuzzy feeling drained away, leaving his body even more exhausted but his mind somewhat more alert to the nurse's questions and his mother's worry.

And he would have to get up soon in any case, if only because his mother was taking him home.

022. Murmur

There was something comforting about having nonsensical phrases murmured in one's ear in a half-conscious state. It was reminiscent of one's childhood, before they learnt to comprehend speech and all words were the same. Something soothing about hearing to g one's mother sing lullabies in a soft year while stroking the few strands of hair that clung to a still strengthening skull.

Even eleven years later, feeling those soft fingers through a firmer head of hair and whispers his mind failed to understand – maybe his mother was speaking too quietly, or maybe she was recalling himself as a baby being gently coaxed to sleep. Either way, it was warm and gentle and lulling all the same, just enough to sleep without thinking of anything else.

023. Devious

As the younger brother, Shinya got very few opportunities to come up on top of his brother, and he was not one to pass up the opportunity when it showed.

As such, it was with great pride and little regret that he snuck up to the taller form. 'Mum's going to be ma-ad,' he sung loudly, causing his brother to whip around and scowl and several stragglers to give them curious looks.

'Be quiet Shinya,' Takuya muttered, turning again.

'But you goy sent to the principal's office again.'

'I didn't do anything,' the other grumbled. 'But did anyone listen to me? Not to mention Kobayashi used it as an excellent opportunity to get me into trouble again.'

'What did happen?' Shinya asked, having enough experience with his elder brother to know that "didn't do anything" had a vast array of meaning.

'Not sure.' Takuya shrugged. 'We turned up in time to see him knock an asthma inhaler out of somebody's hand…I think the Vice-Principal said his name was Kimura? But he was having an asthma attack by the looks of things –' The brunet clenched his fists. 'Shoving someone around under normal circumstances in one thing, but people die of asthma attacks.'

Shinya was silent at that; not only was it really not his brother's fault in the least, even if he did punch the other's living daylights out, but he was right. That boy had crossed a second line; the first was picking on his best friend.

Hold on…

'Kimura?' he repeated. 'Isn't that the name Tommy told us yesterday?'

The two brothers looked at each other. Apparently, the world was small as well as cruel.

'But you still got a detention.'

'Yes, because he never passes up the chance to get me in trouble.'

A pause.

'Why don't you like him?'

'Do you have to ask?'

Yes, he did. Because that dislike came before they found out about him bullying Tommy.

024. Isolation

The house, and his bedroom in particular, felt dark and empty. Not in the sense that it was bare; he had a rather large stuffed lion in one corner, complete with mane thinning with age. He had a photo on his desk, beside a lamp and before an assortment of books and stationary. Some of those books were his own: novels and even a couple of picture books treasured from his childhood. The futon was spread out on the floor, and he had a few other miscellaneous items scattered about; his school uniform was, albeit neatly, cast over his chair and a nice warm jacket was hanging behind the door.

But, even though the apartment was small for the average household and its rooms even more so, the room lacked something personal within it.

Except perhaps the darkness itself.

But he had never really put much effort into personalising it; one had to understand themselves first, picture themselves in a positive light, and that was something he preferred not to attempt. Somehow, the ambiguity was comforting…usually. But that afternoon the shadows were taunting. Suffocating.

He pushed the covers tiredly off his body, seeking solace in the company of his mother instead. It was a common occurrence; when he had a nightmare he would thereafter crawl under the covers with her and she would comfort him, tenderly stroking his hair or fur and rubbing soothing circles into his back.

The empty space next to her was also a painful reminder of the state of their family.

'Mum?' he half asked, half whispered into her bosom. His mind was still somewhat fogged by the need to rest: a consequence of an asthma attack and the medication he had taken thereafter. He would be fine in a few hours, if even that…but there were times when the state he currently possessed was far more welcome than his normalcy. Even as he continued his statement, his mind was only half paying attention to the words of his heart. 'I think I saw Koji today.'

Tomoko stifled a gasp at that, half sitting up. Koichi however did not move, the black cat curled into a languid ball in the crook of her arm.

'You have less than a year left,' she said finally.

'I know, but…I don't want to fight him.'

Silence again. Tomoko sat up fully, gathering the Cat into her lap and stroking the fur. 'I can't tell you what to do,' she said quietly. 'I don't know, and I wish to God I did. But you know the consequences; if you don't fight and win, you'll be locked in that room for the rest of your life.' Blue eyes met blue; it was fortunate that the phenotype did not bring about deafness in the cat as was the norm. One was shadowed with fatigue, the other with worry and diluted pain.

'I wish you could have gone far away.'

'I couldn't. I can't leave you Mama…'

The tone was soft, drowsy, but oh so tender, and it make her heart wail.

She wished he could to; maybe if he had been willing, they could have found away to escape the large realm of influence that tied them down. For her, anything was better than her son isolate forever, but he would not leave her, or his grandmother.

The only other option then was to defeat the Rat, and she couldn't, despite being a mother to both, wish for the Rat to win. Nor could she wish the tie of brotherhood be strong enough for the Cat to forever refrain. As a mother, she knew it was still a rather large possibility.

After all, isolation was his greatest fear, and no amount of reason worked in its face.

025. Starve

Katsuharu came home to pandemonium. Two sisters, one older and one younger but far more achieving in the academics, were arguing about something. Their mother was alternating between chasing the two youngest brothers, a pair of twins at the mischievous age of three, and their rather unhelpful and bratty six year old elder brother. Their father was, presumably, still at work; his shoes at least were absent, but he rarely added to the pandemonium of the house anyway.

No, they had a dog to help out, currently attempting to claw his way up to a late lunch to no-one's notice. Except Katsuharu.

His "I'm home" went unheard; only the dog barked a brief greeting when he came over to rescue the other from its plight, and that was before it fell upon the food as though starved.

He departed a little while later to a little changed situation; only the dog had eaten his fill and curled up on the living room mat. His detention slip was left on the table; like everything else, it would probably be forgotten…assuming it was one of the lucky bits of paper concerning him that were read at all.

Chapter Text

026. Breakable

While Shinya had been healthily curious about the events that had interrupted their route to class after lunch, Takuya's mother was less than pleased.

'Breaking the rules again,' she muttered, stirring the curry pot ferociously as her son stood meekly behind her. 'What am I going to do with you?'

'But I didn't,' Takuya protested. Which he hadn't; he had simply been in the wrong place at the right time.

Sadly, the Vice-Principal hadn't seen it that way, and therefore neither had his mother.

And he wasn't going to even start on Koyabashi. He wasn't that stupid.

027. Winter

Being grounded was not becoming for Takuya. It bored him, as his room simply did not contain enough entertainment. Cleaning easily clawed its way up to the top of his agenda, but despite its initial appearance the room wasn't as messy as it appeared.

Which left him sitting on his bed an hour later, flicking through sports magazines and being entirely frustrated. Baseball cards were neatly stacked up and piled with a rubber band around them. Soccer ball was under the desk…and staying there elsewise he would be in even bigger trouble.

He half wished a blizzard was going on outside. That way he could have enjoyed the knowledge that the rest of the region shared his difficulty. But as it was, it appeared the bright sunny day was being enjoyed of all but himself.

028. Ignore

Katsuharu didn't return home until after lunch the following day; he had slept at Teppei's for the night – the boy had been happy to have him – and then spent the morning of Sunday wondering around. The park had been full, packed with little kids enjoying the weather with elder brothers or parents. He didn't see his siblings anywhere though, nor did he care where they were, as long as he wasn't around them.

After all, it was because of them he was practically a stranger in his own home. His parents hadn't even commented on his disappearance; they probably hadn't even noticed.

029. Colour

Koji chose to spend his Sunday outdoors, but his choice had nothing to do with the weather…even if that was what he told his father.

Maybe it was his imagination, but the older man had seemed hurt as he departed. Perhaps it was because Kousei had finally gotten a weekend off, only to find his son had no interest in spending time with him.

Indeed, his imagination seemed to be working overtime, because his destination was a new flower shop that had opened in the district. The displays were rather feminine and bright. As he stepped into view it was as though he had been splashed in colour. Roses of red and pink and yellow. Surprisingly, he didn't see any white ones; maybe they were inside. Yellow sunflowers. Ranges of Sakura blossoms clinging to their branches: pink and white. Flowers he didn't even recognise. They were what caught his interest. After all, he wasn't romantically interested in anyone – and even if he was, there was the problem of his family curse.

There was a sale on too. But he didn't go into the shop. He didn't even come up to the glass. After all, there was only one person he could buy flowers for and she was long gone from his life.

And it was pointless to put flowers on a grave.

030. Grace

Koichi first thought he saw an angel flittering about the room, then realised his eyes were still clouded with sleep and it was in fact his mother. Not that it meant his earlier assumption was far off the mark. He didn't realise though he had mumbled as much until his mother laughed.

He blushed, but didn't mind too much. His mother's laughter was worth it.

He yawned and stretched, back arching and paws fumbling the blankets before scrambling off. Tomoko gracefully danced around his tail; she had long since mastered that art.

When she offered her arm, the cat sprung and curled around her shoulder. Soon, he would change back. Become a human who carried a curse and was a burden to all. But as a cat he could enjoy his mother's warmth, and she was happy to give it. Because it made him happy. And a cat caught in the throughs of sleep was simple; instinct ruled. A cat's instinct, wherein no worries existed beyond the smell of milk.

Really, that was the only bright side to it all. That he could curl just a little closer to her in the mornings.

Chapter Text

031. Belong

That sunny day was the last in awhile; winter was fast upon them all, and school broke up for New Year. Everybody had mixed feelings about it: Koji wasn't looking forward to the Zodiac Banquet, particularly as it was his year to do the dance with a distant cousin. His father wasn't looking forward to it, since no-one worked at New Years and he would, like every year, miss the chance to spend it with his family. Zoe was ecstatic; she was going back to Italy with her parents to visit their extended family. Tommy was half-thrilled; Yutaka was coming back from college but that also meant there were more opportunities for brotherly squabbles. Takuya was…Takuya. Nothing really changed with New Years, except he got his favourite food.

Koichi was another story, but of course the other five had no knowledge of that. After all, the Cat did not belong with the Zodiac; they simply carried the part of the curse that relieved the rest. Koji didn't even know who the Cat was, and if Koichi had his way things would stay like that.

But to stand outside in the snow, watching the banquet from afar and wishing, just wishing, he was a part of that family…

But the only way was to fight his brother. His twin. And he couldn't do that. He just couldn't.

032. Choke

Fuyuno stared impassively. Koichi didn't turn to him; he'd bundled himself up as best as he could but the cold still chilled him to the bone. And it didn't help that the Head of the family had come out; he was a silently imposing figure, and the lack of feeling in his eyes chilled most who met his gaze to the bone. And for someone who lived off warmth, it was even more effective.

The sheep followed; Risshun, with her long fluffy pigtails, pale skin and shaky grip. She always followed Fuyuno; between all the Zodiac members, she was the most closely related to him. A half-sister, as opposed to cousins sometimes with enough distance to lose the Sohma family name in the maternal lines. She brought an umbrella, which she held above the elder's head. The snow fell upon her own hair, dusting it white. Koichi's hair also provided a landing ground, but his hair was too dark to ever look so pure or so innocently beautiful.

Within the hall they all could hear the sound of music being played. The dance to welcome the New Year would soon begin. Fuyuno looked at the Cat; he looked back, resisting the urge to fiddle with the charms around his wrist. Nothing travelled between, hence why it was such a shock when the Head stepped forward and grabbed the other's collar.

'When will you stop this foolishness?' There was little fervour in his tone; it seemed the other had only yanked the other to his toes so the height difference between them was absorbed. That way, he could see the other's eyes better; to Koichi though, it made no difference in the least.

Whether it mattered to Fuyuno or not was only known to him; he released the other and turned. Koichi, as unexpectedly released as he was seized, to slip on the icy ground beneath him.

Dazed, he blinked up at the wavering sky, a mix of white and black and grey…and was that a hint of red?

033. Reach

'While I admire your stubbornness, you can be a real idiot you know that?'

Koichi blinked, trying to assemble the input his eyes were giving to some degree of order. A blurry and somewhat annoyed face hovered over him. There were mixed smells as well; dye mixed in with chicken soup and the coppery tang that could only be blood.

'Honestly, you don't have to listen to him. You know that.'

Koichi blinked again, this time gaining a little footing. 'Teruo?'

'Yeah,' the other said, a tad affectionally. 'Your dear cousin who takes it upon himself to look after you, seeing as you never do it yourself.'

'You're a part of the Zodiac,' the Cat mumbled, apparently forgetting they'd already had that conversation. 'You'll get into trouble.'

'So I should have let you catch hypothermia out in the snow with a concussion from falling against the steps?' The other raised an eyebrow. 'And remember I'm the Cow. Considering I hate the Rat and all, I don't think anyone else really thinks twice about me being friendly with you.'

'I think you're supposed to hate me more.'

Teruo clicked his tongue. 'Want me to?'

'…no.'

'Good. Now shut up and go back to sleep. You're also running a fever, in case you didn't notice.'

Koichi hadn't. And Teruo informed him a little too late, as he was already out like a light by the time the brunet finished his statement, leaving the Cow alone to grumble as to the unfairness of it all and relieved that the other was now within reach, and would be safe for a time.

As members of the Zodiac they were cursed, but it was the Cat alone doomed to never find happiness. At least they would continue to live, if under their God, and one day it would be their only life and bring that fulfilment. But for the Cat there was only the dark room with no escape and no hope. And even now, there was nothing below the Cat, who himself was below everybody else.

And even Teruo, as fond as he was of his cousin, was not perfect in that. And if he was truly honest with himself, he tended to the other now not for his sake, but his own. Because to do so meant the other was reliant on him, needed him, instead of him needing his God as things always stood.

There was no avoiding that hierarchy. That curse.

034. Difficult

The cold had really done a number on Koichi, and the concussion had simply complicated matters. Teruo's mother wouldn't let him leave their home for weeks, but it lay inside the compound and his mother, not a Sohma by blood and living outside the compound herself, could not try to visit. Not only would she be turned at the gates, but it could possibly cause Teruo and his parents some problems.

The internal affairs of the Sohmas were a very complicated business, and despite having married one she was kept separated from them. It didn't help too that, together, they had sired two children cursed by the Zodiac, and worse still the two who were fated to be the worst of enemies to eternity. She hadn't realised how horrible that was though; she didn't mind they changed when she hugged them. It was simply another part of them, and she loved them just as much as she would have any other children. And because of that she couldn't condone it – any of it.

And so, in the end, she had taken Koichi and left that life forever. But it wasn't as simple as that, because while she was free Koichi was still tied up in the affairs of his father's family, and there was no escaping that blood…or that curse.

035. Heat

Koichi shifted restlessly under the covers; there were few times wherein he said he was hot, but the current circumstances invited it.

'Hush.' A cool hand petted his forehead before replacing the blankets he'd pushed aside. 'You need to sweat off that fever.'

But it was uncomfortable. He could barely think. He couldn't even eat; his stomach churned at the smell of anything. But through all that, he was restless.

No. Restless wasn't the right word. Uncomfortable may have been closer to the mark. Because of New Years. Because he was in the Main House, so closer to…

…and because the end would be coming far too soon. Soon enough for him to know he probably wouldn't be seeing another New Years.

Teruo's mother clucked her tongue, a little impatiently although worry laced the undertones. 'No, keep the covers on! You do want to go home to your mother, don't you?' She added immediately: 'Not that we mind having you here, but I do wish you would visit your aunt on your own steam.'

That was a little hard to do as well, being the Cat of the Zodiac and all. He was only allowed in when Fuyuno requested his presence, and that was generally to stand outside in the snow for New Years while the banquet continued on within.

'Oh dear. Your eyes are so red.' Fingertips forced his lids closed. 'Do try to get some sleep.'

And Koichi obeyed his aunt – his father's first cousin actually – and slept.

Chapter Text

036. Veneer

Zoe wasn't thrilled to bump into Chiaki on her first day back; she'd missed two days of the new term thanks to her flight and timezones, and she understandably had been running late thanks to a trip to the Principal's office. The other however had most likely been fixing her makeup, or so the blonde scathingly thought as they silently glared each other to class.

At least she had managed to keep it silent that the thin covering made her look like a washed up rag doll. In her opinion anyway.

She was surprised to find the seat behind her empty as she sat, and she spent the remaining two minutes of homeroom attempting to remember who it was who sat there. It distracted her, which was good as Chiaki had not stopped glaring until their first period teacher entered the room.

It was also at that point where it clicked; she remembered. Koichi Kimura. Rather quiet and hardly ever stood out in class. The type that one would normally forget, except Tommy and Takuya had both mentioned his name before the break, and in two totally different contexts.

She was good at remembering stuff like that.

037. Fall

Zoe was a little concerned to find Koichi absent the following day as well, and when she asked the teacher and found he hadn't returned since the break she was even more worried. It was mostly because of Tommy…or rather, the two bullies who enjoyed using him as sport. Luckily the brunet had avoided any further run-ins with them, but the story Takuya had told (with a few interjections from Koji) was fresh on her mind, and she couldn't help but wonder if they'd done something to the quiet boy during the holiday for his interference.

Not that it really accomplished anything, Zoe mused, remembering how worked up Tommy had been about somebody else getting hurt on his behalf. On the other hand, it might prompt him to stand up for himself…but that really remained to be seen. It also remained to be seen whether such actions would accomplish something, and whether somebody else taking a fall worked out or not. And that set her wondering as to why someone who didn't even know another would willingly take a hit for somebody else and not lift a hand to defend oneself.

She spoke to all three of them: Tommy, Takuya and Koji. It was Tommy who put her worries to ease.

'They'd brag about it if they did something,' he pointed out. 'They always do.'

But that didn't explain the absence. She also couldn't explain why she was worried either, although no-body asked. She couldn't help but notice that her friends looked a tad worried as well after she informed: worried enough to ask her the next day.

At least her answer was different by then, seeing as he had returned…although he looked rather pale and weak.

038. Nightmare

Once the days had realigned themselves properly and Koichi had a good gauge as to the passing of time, he wished they were still hazed and muddled. For a few days he still couldn't walk the length of their small apartment without dizziness forcing him down.

The worst was watching the sun crawl up and then dip and counting the hours alone, the hours lost. He would rather be at school, surrounded by people even if he was just a shadow passing through. It was easier to lose oneself therein, not thinking about the time that was lost and the time that remained…

On his own, it was a living nightmare he could not unravel.

039. Contagious

Koichi was surprised at the looks he received upon returning; normally the other students didn't go out of their way to stare at him and he much preferred that. He still wasn't feeling as well as he should, but he was well enough to return to school and simply could not remain at home while his mother worked.

He was relieved though to find the majority avoided him. Oh, it hurt of course; it was hard to ignore actions people went out of their way to execute, but it kept them from pulling him inward and he was glad for that.

Nothing would come out of it after all.

040. Good riddance

Zoe wondered if she should say something, and her decision swayed throughout the day. First, it was simply because he was somewhat acquainted with her friends…but that had seemed like such a weak reason. Then it was how sick he still looked – and he was coughing too, throat scratchy and raw – and how some others made it a show of backing away from him.

Obviously, they were just kidding around, but that sort of thing you did with people you were close to. Perhaps they all took it for granted that a class that progressed up the years together was close, but the truth was they didn't know everybody. She had only noticed when Takuya had mentioned a name that nagged at the back of her sentences. But those same actions could help people who weren't close.

She supposed that – and the fact that they were supposed to be selecting partners for a pair assignment – was what made her stand up, and she did it so fiercely that everybody looked at her – except Koichi, who took the opportunity to bury himself into his book. That made her angrier – it reminded her of Tommy in a sense, but also not…although it explained why he had allowed himself to be hit and hadn't fought – and marched up to him.

The blue eyes marked her shadow. His expression showed surprise and…caution?

She disregarded that. 'We're working together,' she ordered, much to the shock of everybody present. Normally, both of them would up being paired separately by the teacher with the last dregs of the class. 'Meet me at the gates after school.'

It didn't occur to her to ask whether the other had a club meeting or any other after school commitment. She simply turned around and went back to her seat. The gazes of the rest of the class followed her before returning to their normal routine, and she huffed silently at them.

Good riddance. She'd thought they had better things to do, but apparently she was mistaken. And by that time, the teacher had returned to arrange the remaining students into random pairs – and she was surprised too to find that two students she normally had to assign had paired themselves together.

Chapter Text

041. Goodbye

Koji mumbled a reply to his father's goodbye as the elder man vanished out the door.

It wasn't anything new; his father was always working. Surprising, considering he was wealthy. Their entire family was; they owned more than half the city when it came down to that, when you counted all their extended relations. So it wasn't really necessary to work inane hours, however his father felt rather differently.

And that feeling saw him out the door at eight every day – including most Sundays. And that always left Koji with an empty house to entertain himself with…around school and clubs and the likes.

And the arcade, and his new friends…which were taking quite a bit of his time, and attention…

…and his heart. So why was he a little sadder now when his father left the house so early and he sat on the couch with a slice of toast and a cup of milk?

042. Scarred

Kousei tapped the wheel as the car stopped in traffic; the line snaked on, past the green light and to a red beyond his sight. It stretched behind him as well, beyond the review mirror's field of vision.

He wondered why the extra delay; traffic was always bad but not that bad. He would be lucky to reach his office on time.

The car inched forward a little more, and he sighed, wishing he could have had a day off and spend it with his family. That was a bit of a joke in itself, as he only had half a family at home, and not a particularly happy one.

He felt a small stab watching a pair of siblings running ahead of their mother. Year one by the looks of things. Twins. Happy. Two sides of a whole.

Not ripped apart. Scarred.

Not…cursed.

043. Last Dance

Kousei hadn't gone to the New Year celebrations. He'd been working: not at the office, but at the home of a client. His line of work could not escape public holidays, as he had to work around their schedules as well as office hours. And he usually wound up working with several cases at once; it was one of the disadvantages of being an esteemed member of the Sohma clan.

Not that most people understood. After all, his son was the Rat. All parents of the Zodiac members received a healthy amount from the main house to rear their children, and the Rat's parents received the most. On top of that, his day job spread through both the Sohma clan and outside and paid well enough that they could live well without the added affluence.

In truth, it had nothing to do with the money. It was just that he had to keep working. It was the momentum. If he stopped, everything would come crashing down.

The car inched forward again, and this time he caught sight of the reason for the delay. An accident; a truck had ploughed into a car at the intersection ahead. A white sheet; someone had died. A young person, by the looks of the folds and the limp hand that had slipped out.

Whoever it was had danced their – her by the looks of the slender wrist – last dance.

Kousei lifted his foot off the break as the car finally slid onto the unobscured road.

In truth, he was dancing too. A dance he'd danced for over ten years.

044. Burn

Takuya sighed. He'd spent a healthy portion of his holiday grounded, which he felt was most unfair. Although he hadn't exactly helped matters by following the first visit to the Vice Principal with another one less than three days later – and this time with genuine reason. Unfortunately, that had been the last straw and even his easy-going father had found it fit to punish him.

So by the time he was out and about again, he was itching for a game of soccer. He didn't care if he was playing against trees.

Sadly, that had left him with sunburn after the summer heat, and he went back to school still sprouting the remains. His mother, fierce when mad and caring otherwise, sent him off smelling of aloe vera and he'd stopped by the fountain the first day to wash it off – and came back home with his entire face sore once again, tender skin burnt anew.

If it hadn't been for the trouble he always got into, he could have stayed home, but he had to endure. With aloe vera, and laughs he contributed to.

After all, if you can't beat them. Join them.

But he was still relieved when he could grin properly by the end of the week.

045. Steady

Shinya followed his elder brother home that Saturday.

'Don't you have anywhere else to be?'

'Nope.'

'Oh, really?'

Shinya grinned at the annoyed look. 'Who's dumb enough to play soccer in this weather?' he teased, before groaning. 'I melted last period.'

'We had air conditioning,' Takuya said smugly, glad for the chance at revenge.

'No fair,' the younger Kanbara pouted, balancing on the curb. 'We had all the windows open and the flies – aargh.' His foot slipped.

Takuya instinctively reached out to grab him, although his assistance really wasn't necessary as there were no cars to be seen on the quiet street.

'Be careful,' the elder grumbled, abruptly releasing him and continuing on his way.

Shinya grinned and followed – with more care of course. 'Why are you being so grumpy? You know you love me?'

'I'm not grumpy,' Takuya shot back. 'I'm hot.'

'So am I, but I'm not grumpy.' The younger boy thought for a moment. 'I suppose it's thanks to no air-conditioning.'

'We'll both have air conditioning as soon as we get home.'

And they both hurried, and Shinya happily thought of how, the same time last year, Takuya must definitely had been grumpy…although he wasn't this year; it was just younger sibling teasing as opposed to the wall that had once stood between them.

'What in the world are you grinning at?'

Shinya didn't answer.

Chapter Text

046. Monster

Zoe's final period was art. And as usual, it was an interesting lesson. Not for what they learnt; they were simply drawing from imagination – not that many were functioning to their full capacity.

So, as a result, most minds were wandering. The blonde's was wandering to lunch and her cat at home, probably the only one in her family enjoying the weather. That brought her back to lunch, and not the potato salad she had enjoyed.

Something had caused her to mention her cat, and that had turned into an interesting discussion when Koji had called the white fluffball a monster.

Needless to say, Zoe had been insulted.

'What have you against cats?' she flared.

Koji had looked somewhat surprised, and the look persisted until ht clicked to the girl that the other was the Rat of the Zodiac.

'Fluffy's more of a bird cat,' she tried instead, changing tracks.

Koji shrugged. 'I've never even met the Cat. That doesn't change anything. It's just the way things are.'

Both she and Takuya blinked at that.

'There's a Cat in the Zodiac as well?'

'I've told you the story, haven't I?'

He had.

'But aren't you jumping the gun?' Takuya asked. 'I mean, you also thought no-one would like you for you once they knew you, but haven't we proved that wrong?' His tone may have been joking, but his eyes were unusually serious.

'I suppose,' Koji admitted, 'but truthfully, that won't change much of anything. The Cat is the only thing below the rest of the Zodiac in terms of the curse: the one we look at as someone worse off. Whether it's hatred or pity, it doesn't matter.' He shrugged. 'And that doesn't change that the Cat and the Rat are destined to be enemies forever too.'

Zoe would have once said it was rubbish, but the Sohma family curse seemed a lot more persistent than her own optimism.

She said it anyway.

Takuya grinned. 'Imagine if you two wind up being best buds…after you stop patronising the poor guy or girl from afar.' He laughed at that; the other two looked at him as though he had grown an extra head.

047. Voodoo

Koichi covered his paper in record timing, which was unusual considering all his classmates were sprouting quite a large number of white pages. But that left him with more thinking-time than he liked, and he spent the beginning of it playing with the Jojo beads around his wrist.

He was careful though; he couldn't risk the string snapping after all.

Each bead turned under his gentle fingers. They, to be honest, still creeped him out a little; they were made from the bones of humans that had died long ago. He wasn't sure which, but many a Clan member had told him they were the bones of previous people cursed by the Cat…like him.

It was worse, knowing that others, innocent people, wore imitations brought at local shrines to ward off voodoo – like plastic was a substitute to the real thing. It was like the pinky promise; he wondered what people would do if they knew where the real power of such things came from.

If they knew what lengths were necessary to prevent the likes of curses – or just surpress them.

He shivered, even if the room was a little warm, even for him. Actually, most others were sweating – but one mercy of being the Cat was enjoying the heat.

048. Shine

The sun shone almost red and the heat blasted Zoe as soon as she stepped outside, and to her it was a wonder Koichi didn't look in the least uncomfortable with it.

'I thought we could go to my house,' she admitted, tying her braid of hair into a tight know to get it away from her neck. 'But we'll be two melted popsicles when we get there.'

'It's nice weather,' Koichi said quietly, looking skyward. While Zoe gave him an incredulous look, he continued: 'We could go to the library.'

'Good idea.' The surprise turned to relief and she shook her head. Like anyone could actually like this heat, she scoffed to herself. 'I take it your house is far as well?'

'Uhh…yes.' He looked a little caught of guard at the statement, which was interesting.

'Are you sure you're okay enough to be back at school?' she asked, a touch of concern in her voice. 'I'm sure if you have a doctor's certificate the teachers couldn't really object.'

'I don't.' He had waited for her to finish instead of interrupting like Takuya would have done. 'I'm okay though.'

'You still look pale.' Zoe crossed her arms. 'You really should take better take of your health you know.'

'I'm fine,' the other repeated. 'I'm always getting sick with something or other.'

'…Oh.' She hovered a little, uncertain. She wasn't quite sure what to say to that. 'Let's go,' she said eventually, gesturing.

'Uhh…yeah.' Koichi moved past her to take the stair, then tripped over the bag strap the blonde had cast earlier, not wanting to add the bag to the heat.

He automatically reached out; Zoe, on reflex, grabbed him.

Somehow, Zoe wound up hanging on to a black cat's paw as she lay sprawled on the flat portion before the first stair dropped down.

049. Intent

Zoe blinked. If she were perfectly honest with herself, she had been hoping to one day meet the Cat of the Zodiac through the last period, but she'd never expected Koichi of all people to be it. But he must have been, because she was hanging on to the paw while the other's school uniform cushioned the fall.

And then the cat was gone, clawing itself out of the tangle that was its clothes and escaping. The blonde opened her mouth to yell after him. But she stopped herself; something Koji had said after she'd tripped onto him stopped her. About the secret. About the curse being known only to a select few. Of the layers upon layers of depth that laced their family, and particularly those cursed by the Zodiac. Of the family head, and whatever plan he had with emotions that were hardly seen and decisions that seemed cold and frozen and perfectly calculated.

And lunch. The Cat. The poor Cat.

Then she realised how she must look. Luckily, no-one had been around as she quickly gathered the clothes and stuffed them into Koichi's bookbag, before stuffing that into her own bag after a bit of rearranging.

050. Camping

'You coming on the field trip Koji?'

Koji snorted. 'Who wants to sleep with bugs?'

'It's not about sleeping with bugs.' The class president sounded almost injured at the summary. 'It's the sites and the food…and we're sleeping indoors anyway.'

'Doesn't stop bugs.'

The secretary grinned. 'Minamoto's scared of bugs?'

'No,' the other scoffed. 'It just so happens that they are rather fond of me.' He grimaced at that, swatting a fly away from him. Why couldn't the have cancelled kendo club; granted, it was indoors and under air-conditioning, but it didn't start straight after school finished and he was forced to hang around in the humid halls – and suffer company.

'Hey.' The secretary turned around as she heard footsteps. 'How about you, Orimoto?'

Koji jerked as Zoe grabbed his wrist and proceeded to drag him down the hall. 'No time,' she yelled back to the two members of the student council, both of whom were staring flabbergasted after him.

Chapter Text

051. Grave

Tomoko knelled back on her heels and lit a fresh stick of incense, letting its sweet scent cloak the grave and the small shrine that been built around it. It wasn't the usual yearly visit, but sometimes she came to see her mother when Koichi was at school. It was…nice, to be able to talk to her about things, things she simply could not talk about with her son.

And Koichi understood, because likewise there were things he could not talk about with her.

And she had talked. Then payed her respects. And now she hovered in the silence and the incense until her lunch break ended.

052. Machine

Koji had to wonder how a girl, and one his age (a single month older to be technically accurate), was able to drag him down the hallway and to an empty classroom – and halfway with no assistance from him whatsoever.

Not that he was going to say that out loud. Zoe was a feminist if he ever met one, and she could punch too. According to Takuya anyway; he had enough sense not to test that hypothesis.

At least Zoe was out of breath though. That proved she was human and not a machine, because really. Who would not be out of breath, particularly considering the ridiculous weather they'd been having. The end of winter and it was as hot as the day he was born…right near the end of June.

But all those thoughts flew out of his head when Zoe dumped a male school uniform at his feet. And he did the most eloquent thing he could think of in that situation. He blinked.

'Uhh…Zoe? Why do you have a guy's uniform?'

053. Destination

Ack, why can't Koji just read my mind?

Not that she could honestly expect Koji to be capable of such a thing; she didn't think the Zodiac curse stretched that far in anybody's case – although she wasn't sure about the mysterious Head of the Family.

But that was getting off topic. If Koji couldn't put two and two together with only three pieces, she would have to explain.

'The Cat –' she began.

'Fluffy?' Koji looked blank.

'Not Fluffy.' Now she rolled her eyes; Koji was being a little unnecessarily dense with that reply. 'The Cat from the Zodiac.'

'But what –' Koji began, still befuddled before the clothes clicked in his mind. 'He goes to this school?!' A pause. 'Hang on, you hugged him?'

'He tripped!' Zoe exclaimed, blushing slightly. 'And I tried to stop him from falling down the stairs. And nobody saw – I think.' She mumbled under her breath: 'I hope not anyway.'

Koji shook his head. 'Great Zoe. Why bother telling me?'

Zoe actually looked a tad uncomfortable. 'I thought you might want to know,' she said quietly. 'Or are you going to hate someone you don't know because of destiny?'

She made a fair point, except she was slightly off the mark. Truth be told, he didn't hate the unknown Cat; he was…in a sense…afraid. Because the Rat tricked the Cat, and wasn't the whole problem between the pair that the Cat wanted revenge?

A part of him was unsure he could handle centuries of rage.

'The thing is…' Zoe was shuffling her feet again. 'We have an assignment to do together.'

Koji got the feeling there was more to the story than that.

'And he kind of ran off. Or the cat ran off really. So I was wondering if you could help me look.'

Koji sighed. That would be a disaster if – any Zodiac member really – transformed back without their clothes. And the times were unpredictable as well. It sounded like the unnamed Cat had left his brain with his clothes – or something akin.

'You do realise rats normally stay away from cats?'

'Great, you'll help.'

And before Koji could protest, she was dragging him. This time outside.

'We'd better find the others too.'

'Don't bother.' Koji sighed again. 'They're probably halfway home by now. Or already there.'

And he couldn't help but envy them a little when the heat blasted him in the face. 'Seriously,' he muttered. 'Some God's having a blast with the weather mess.'

'Amen to that,' Zoe agreed, releasing him on the steps.

They stayed for a minute.

'You have no idea where we should start, do you?'

'Nope.

054. Nowhere

Koji wondered if he was mistaken as to the fact that cats were fond of alleyways, because there were plenty of alleyways around and yet they had not found a black cat or naked human in any of them.

Nor had they heard anything out of the ordinary, which almost entirely ruled out the latter option, because Japanese were very good at picking out abnormalities…and that wasn't a good thing in many cases.

Still, it was frustrating not having found a wayward Zodiac member he hadn't even met before. He was starting to wish a bird had been born into their generation so they could send the guy or girl out looking as well.

Although, seeing as Fluffy was apparently rather fond of skinning birds and doing unthinkable things to them, that might not be such a bright idea.

055. Garden

It was Zoe who suggested the park.

'Fluffy also loves the sun,' she explained. 'And the garden. She always stretches out in the flowerbed when she's not chasing anything.'

But the garden was empty.

Koji signed, then tipped his head back. His neck was getting stiff – which was a surprise. Perhaps it was recalling the warm-up he should have been partaking in at that moment (as he was now late for kendo practice). He didn't expect to be blinking at a black cat in the tree though – nor apparently did the said cat, as it cried out, a mix of human shriek and an animal's, and almost fell off the branch.

Zoe snapped around to look as the cat managed to use its two front paws and its tail to hang on.

'Koichi,' she exclaimed. 'Thank goodness – ' she broke off. 'Should you still be a cat?'

The cat backed away into the shadow of the tree.

'Koichi,' Koji repeated. 'Koichi Kimura. The one you and Tommy wouldn't stop going on about?'

'Shut it Koji,' Zoe snapped, albeit lightly, before awkwardly holding up her bag. 'Uh, I've got your uniform and bag here.'

The cat shrunk further into the shadows. Zoe blinked.

'I already know about the Zodiac curse.'

That didn't seem to help at all, though the head did tilt slightly to the side.

Chapter Text

056. I Know

So Zoe knew about the curse. Koichi had gathered as much from her reaction when he'd transformed, but that didn't explain why she was standing there, with his things no less, and –

– and Koji.

His mind wanted very much to panic. Of all the people that had to come along, it had to be him. Granted, he'd rather no-one come after him, but evidently that had been far too much to hope for.

The only blessing was that Koji didn't appear to recognise him, nor the other time –

He backed further into the shadows until his tail was pressed against the slender trunk.

But Zoe was smiling. And Koji – didn't look threatening, or angry, or anything one would expect from a meeting between the Rat and the Cat of the Zodiac – considering only an idiot would confuse him with the tiger.

And he was tired. Maybe not bordering on exhaustion as he hadn't transformed from it, but it was enough to make sure he didn't transform back without some rest.

Which, in retrospect, was a good thing.

057. Dust

Zoe was starting to wonder if the two boys – or Zodiac members, considering one was in their animal form – would turn into dust sculptures before something happened. Really, were the…issues between the Rat and the Cat that serious?

'Uh…' she spoke after a moment. While it was cooler under the shade and she wasn't baking in the direct heat of the sun, she did want to move some time in the next century. 'Could you come down before you – you know – ' She went a little red again.

Honestly, couldn't the curse come with an in-built clothing mechanism for de-transformations?

The cat blinked slowly at her, as if he didn't understand.

'Oh come on.' She was exasperated, and if the branch didn't look like it would snap against her weight she would have climbed up to fetch him. And she was positive he was the right one.

'You know we Zodiac members can sense the curse,' Koji said a hair's breath after. 'So don't try acting like an innocent cat. And could you hurry up; I do need to be back in kendo.'

He wasn't sure if the cat slipped thereafter or had been guilt-tripped into obeying and mis-stepped, but the next moment the small body was falling out of the tree. Koji didn't move; he knew enough about cats to know they would land on their feet, but Zoe had stepped forward and the other had landed neatly on her head before she recalled.

And embarrassed, the cat tried to leap away. But this time Zoe was faster and had trapped him under her arm.

'Got you,' she said triumphantly. 'Now, is your house anywhere near here? Mine's the opposite direction to the school and so is the library, and I do not fancy the walk.'

058. Dream

Tomoko came home to a girl she didn't recognise sitting on the floor, and her son no-where to be seen.

'Oh, you must be Koichi's mother.' The blonde girl shot up from where she had been sitting on the floor. When Tomoko nodded her affirmative, she continued: 'I'm Zoe Orimoto, a classmate from school. We're…going to be working on a project together.'

Tomoko nodded slowly. 'Where's Koichi then? Bathroom?'

'Uhh…' She looked a little uncomfortable. 'He's…sleeping.'

She looked closely at the younger girl, and shook her head. 'I take it you saw.'

'Uh…yes ma'am.'

'It's Tomoko.'

'Yes ma'- Ms Tomoko.' Zoe paused. 'I already knew about the curse though; one of my other friends –'

Tomoko shook her head. 'With half the district owned by the Sohmas, it's no wonder I suppose. Although I must admit I'm surprised your memories were not erased.'

'Koji said the same thing.'

Tomoko, who had turned her head to the closed door where her son slept off his exhaustion (she told him not to go to school but he was going up the wall at home), snapped back. 'Koji Minamoto?'

Zoe affirmed the surname. Tomoko said nothing on the subject thereafter, simply offering cookies and an invitation to lunch. The other was happy to accept, especially since it meant her father could pick her up on the way home from walk and they'd be home in time for her mother's dinner and desert.

059. Destiny

Koichi wondered if it was all a dream when he awoke, but Zoe was at the kitchen table, talking to his mother as she cooked.

'Good afternoon sleepyhead,' Tomoko said cheerfully. 'Feeling better now?'

Zoe grinned. Koichi blinked, then answered. 'Yes, Mum.'

'We've got time before dinner,' the blonde said. 'Want to get a plan down?'

Without waiting for an answer, she shot off for their bags and spread the required materials out on the table. 'I think we should pick a tsunami, seeing as everyone was talking about earthquakes in class today – hello, are you listening to me?' She sounded a little irate.

'I'm sorry,' he mumbled, looking down.

'For what?'

'Now,' Tomoko laughed from the stove. 'Don't ask him that; he'll never say what you want to hear.'

'Koichi?' Zoe looked at him. 'Look, I know about the curse. I don't care; I know it sucks for all of you, but that doesn't change anything else. It doesn't change we're working on a project now, does it? Otherwise you wouldn't be at school, especially a co-ed school.' She pushed the paper aside. 'But we're not getting anywhere here, so let's talk about what happened this afternoon. And don't say it's because you thought I didn't know, because I told you and that didn't seem to change things.'

Koichi closed his eyes. 'It did,' he said quietly. 'But how much do you really understand about the curse?'

Zoe blinked.

'You know the Cat is and can never be a part of the Zodiac.'

She half nodded.

So she doesn't know…

Tomoko was silent at the stove, simply clattering away.

'And someone cursed with the Zodiac can never belong to the world that exists outside.'

'Koji said that as well,' Zoe said, equally quietly. 'But I don't understand that.'

Koichi shook her head. 'You don't need to, but please, stay away from me.' His voice broke on the emphasis. 'Don't get too close.'

'Sorry.' The words were insincere, and Koichi's head snapped up to look at her. 'I'm a stubborn person you know. So unless you tell me honestly you don't want to be my friend – which I seriously doubt is the case here, you're simply going to have to put up with my company. And I rather like the idea of getting to pick my partner for a change, and at least with you I know I'm not going to get stuck doing the whole project myself.' She sighed nasally. 'I don't have to tell you how annoying that is.'

Koichi looked at his mother. Tomoko simply shrugged. To be honest, she didn't see the problem in giving destiny a little kick to get her to back off. And she rather liked this Zoe girl too; she also didn't see a problem in her quiet son spending more time with a headstrong young lady like that.

At least the time he had left anyway. And maybe…

She shook her head, continuing to prepare their meal. Somehow she doubted that was going to change. Still, it couldn't hurt for Koichi to be a little more assertive.

And there was the possibility Fuyuno would change his mind. Which she hoped and prayed for every day.

060. Spring

Tomoko waited until Zoe had left before she sat down beside her son for a word.

'She's a nice girl,' was her first comment.

Predictably, Koichi blushed darkly. 'Mum!'

'Moving on from that,' Tomoko continued, the atmosphere predictably darkening. 'You transformed in front of her, didn't you. But she knew of the curse before that.'

He nodded. 'I think she's seen Koji transform; he was with her.'

'I see.' Her tone was guarded, revealing nothing. 'I must say I'm surprised…but it's a good thing, I think.'

'It's not.' It was a protest, but not one with much vigour backing it. 'Outsiders aren't supposed to know about a curse; you remember what happened to Shokan.'

'Shokan's story was a mix of tragedy and interference into things that were best left alone.'

'We can't stop that interference, Mum.'

'No.' Tomoko closed her eyes. 'You're –' She shook her head.

At least by June you'll be free…one way or another. Either a part of the Zodiac for life, or never to be…

'Tomorrow's Spring,' she simply said, quietly.

'Yeah...'

There was silence for a brief moment.

'You do have to work with her, you know,' Tomoko said eventually. 'And if she's serious with pairing with you for every assignment, you're either going to have to go along with her or tell her straight out you don't want to – which you cant because you do.'

Koichi said nothing to that, simply staring at some dark corner.

'You know what I think?' she asked quietly. 'Make the most of the time you have here. Don't worry about the future; things change. You know that. Maybe the curse will be broken. Maybe Fuyuno will change his mind.' Maybe you'll change yours.

'Maybe.' But Koichi didn't sound convinced.

Chapter Text

061. Sigh

Tommy was surprised when his brother offered to take him out for ice-cream on their day off, but did not refuse. But when Yutaka brought him his favourite (honeycomb and chocolate chip), he was starting to wonder why.

Normally, Yutaka refrained from hanging out with him, not insisting.

Yutaka just licked away at his own green tea cone as Tommy stared at him, but when all he had all but polished off his cone and his little brother's was melting over his fingers, he sighed.

'You do have to ask questions to get answers.'

062. Fingertips

Now that was more like the Yutaka Tommy was used to.

'Why did you bring me out for ice cream?' Tommy asked.

'It's hot,' the elder brother responded, taking a drink of water to wash down the sweetness. That was a disadvantage of ice cream; they had the unfortunate nature of making their enjoyer thirsty as well as cool.

Tommy licked at his fingertips before the honey dribbled onto his shirt and the bees followed him home. After all, it was bad enough with flies buzzing about the place and being attracted to any hot and sweaty body outdoors. 'You know that's not what I mean,' he grumbled finally. 'You normally don't like going places wit me.'

'That's because you're normally acting bratty,' Yutaka responded calmly. 'And don't look at me like that. You know it's true…and I'm well aware "bratty" is not a real word.'

Tommy shut his mouth and looked away for a moment.

'So what changed?' he asked quietly.

Yutaka just shrugged. 'Beats me. You're the one who should have the answer to that.'

He started off, and Tommy jumped up to follow.

'What do you mean?'

Yutaka shrugged again. 'You just look different is all. I don't know why.'

063. Waiting

Katsuharu crossed his arms impatiently. Teppei was late, as usual, and so he was left waiting under the burning sun for him.

Not that home was any better, with his siblings running around like they owned the place and his mother never noticing whenever he walked in or out of the place.

Tap, tap – his foot mirrored his impatience, even as sweat trickled down the back of his neck.

064. Playboy

Ten minutes later, Katsuharu was redder than he should have been, even with the weather. He decided Teppei had been surprisingly clever in his little prank; how could he not even realise where he was standing?

And what store owner put magazines for teens at the very worst out where kids could see them anyway?

Grumbling, he continued along. Forget Teppei; it was his fault anyway.

In the next street, he spied somebody who could vastly improve his mood.

065. Revenge

Tommy was surprised, to say the least, when Katsuharu suddenly popped up in front of him. Actually, he was more than surprised; a mix of shocked, frightened and somehow with jelly courage would have been a more accurate description for him.

Yutaka was also surprised, but it was mostly because of the falsetto friendliness the newcomer projected.

'So, who's this?' the boy asked. 'Your big brother?'

'Y-yes.' Tommy didn't quite succeed in keeping the stutter out of his voice.

Yutaka said nothing.

'How about you hang out with me some?'

The underlining tone was unmistakable, but Tommy gulped a little and shook his head. 'No thanks.'

'No?' the other repeated. 'I thought you'd love to hang out with me?'

'I'm hanging out with my brother,' the younger Himi pointed out reasonably, a little calmer now that he had gotten the hard bit out of the way. Of course, his knees disagreed and he was sure both Katsuharu and Yutaka could see them shaking. Then, before his tongue decided to follow suit, he asked a question the other's words piqued. 'Why do you need to ask?'

Before the other could come up with a suitable answer, Yutaka's hand was firmly on his little brother's shoulder. 'If you force people to do things,' he explained. 'Whether by frightening them or by any other means, it has no value in the end.'

And then he was leading Tommy away, towards the direction of home and away from the boy which could only be a poor bully.

Chapter Text

066. July

'Urgh,' Zoe complained as she and Koichi walked to the library. 'I mean, today's not as bad as yesterday, but seriously. July's not for months.'

She blinked when Kouichi muttered something under his breath. She may not know him that well, but being in a class with somebody for a semester meant she knew a few things, and one of those was that such vehemence was unusual.

'What was that?' she asked, although she got the feeling she wasn't supposed to hear the other's words.

'What do you know about the Zodiac?' was the response.

'Uhh…' Zoe put a hand under her chin. 'I know the old bedtime story, and that when you're hugged by somebody of the opposite gender or when your body's under stress, you transform and that the curse somehow runs through the Sohma family lines…so I suppose you're related to them on your mother's side?' Before the other could affirm or deny, she added: 'Oh, and there's the God as well. Fuyuno, was it? About how none of you can disobey him because you're all tied together by the curse? And how everyone keeps saying the Cat can't be a part of the Zodiac, even though you're exactly the same as them –'

'I'm not.'

Zoe almost walked into the other.

'Because the Cat isn't named as one of the months?' she asked. 'That doesn't matter.'

'No, it's not that.' The other sounded perfectly miserable. 'The curse exists in a hierarchy of sorts. The God sits at the top; he or she bears the physical brunt of the curse and so their bodies are almost always weak. The remaining Zodiac members are somewhere in between, but the Cat bears the main psychological brunt as they're…' Koichi closed his eyes. 'Well, they're at the bottom of the pile I suppose. For the remaining Zodiac members, whenever they run into problems that come about because of their form, they can just look down at me and say: "I'm still better off". That's why the Cat's around, to be a scapegoat of sorts. Never a true part of the Zodiac.'

067. Desire

'That – ' Zoe's head was reeling in shock. 'That's totally unfair.'

Koichi shrugged. 'That's the way it is. And it's understandable I suppose.' He continued walking, and the other had no choice but to follow behind him. 'We're all human after all; we envy that which is above us and look down at that below us, almost grateful that we have yet to reach that state.'

'If that's the case, then what do you look down upon?'

The other stopped walking. 'Those denied freedom their entire life,' was the reply.

Zoe stopped as well.

'The truth is,' Koichi continued. 'That the curse of the Cat runs deeper than those of the other Zodiacs. I suppose in a sense you can call the Cat a bad luck charm, but that's putting it rather kindly.'

From her position, the blonde could see a light smile on her face.

'Truth be told though, we envy those below us as well. One of those "you can't miss what you never have" things.' He turned to the park they had been walking past. 'Like if I was already locked up, would it be any better than waiting for it to happen?'

Maybe Koichi had forgotten the company he had. Maybe he hadn't intended to say it aloud. But he had, and Zoe didn't know what she wanted to do more: demand a straightforward explanation, punch the pessimistic guy's lights out or give the sad guy a big hug.

She settled for both…or tried to. Unfortunately, the other sensed the attack and grabbed her wrist, stopping himself halfway through a counterattack to leave them both staring at each other awkwardly.

068. Free

'Sorry,' Zoe mumbled finally, unable to come up with any verbal reason or excuse. That one word however opened the dam to others, and she immediately continued: 'But you said it like…as if…do they really..?' The words were getting stuck again, but she forced them out. 'Do they really lock the Cats away? Like a prisoner?'

For a moment Koichi simply stared at her, and Zoe knew that whatever the other had been trying to tell her, he hadn't meant to let that little detail slip. He looked a little shocked; dark eyes wider than usual and really looking a little like Fluffy when she accidentally shone her torch onto its face…except Fluffy didn't have blue eyes.

Later, it would cross her mind that blue eyed cats were supposed to be deaf…according to one of those household myths.

'But…'

The other had remained silent to long to deny, and after her next word he simply turned his face away.

'You're someone who believes in equality,' he said quietly. 'You believe in a democratic world…but there's no such thing.' He fiddled with the beads he wore. 'In truth, the Cat's only crime was that it was too trusting towards the Rat and was therefore fooled, but if things like friendship and trust lead to this then isn't it better to simply never have that?'

Zoe took a small step forward. 'You don't believe that.'

'It's impossible,' the other admitted. 'But…'

'But that doesn't mean you should deny yourself the opportunity to make friends and enjoy the time you have right now…does it?' She didn't know why she was uncertain; she couldn't really say. In any other situation she would have been shouting that…like she had shouted at Koji. But there was something…

She jumped a little at the sound of the Juzu beads hitting the ground.

069. Celebration

'I'm proud of you,' Yutaka said, and Tommy could have skipped all the way home. His brother was proud of him, instead of scolding and lecturing him.

Yutaka had spotted the skip in his step. 'I scold you for your own good, you know.'

'Huh?' Tommy stopped walking and blinked at his elder brother.

Yutaka on the other hand kept walking. 'It's good to know you're growing up,' he commented.

'You're not making any sense!' The younger brother skipped a little to keep up.

Yutaka didn't explain; he simply changed the topic. 'Did you figure out what to get for Mum and Dad's anniversary.'

'Umm…' Truth be told, he had completely forgotten.

Yutaka rolled his eyes. 'Glad that hasn't changed,' he mumbled, before saying clearly: 'I'm planning on getting tickets. The old theatre's doing a new production. Want to go halves?' He paused. 'Unless you spent all your money on games again.'

'I did not!' Tommy exclaimed. 'For your information, we played with JP's deck of cards last time.'

It was good to know he didn't haunt the arcade by himself anymore.

070. Stars

He had died and wandered into some parallel dimension where Tommy had a spine. That was the only logical explanation. The elder brother had hung back, doing nothing even though the look he had initially given said he knew exactly what the other had been planning.

Still, Tommy had managed to spoil his fun all on his own.

Why did he need to ask? Seriously. Was the kid implying he'd want to hang out with him if he didn't? Ridiculous.

He scoffed out loud. He'd sooner find a shooting star in the sky.

Chapter Text

071. Morgue

Zoe had never seen death up close, but if she had to attribute a smell to it, it would probably be the one that unexpectedly hit her.

For some reason, she registered that before anything else. Then her brain took in the sight.

It was like something out of a nightmare , like she'd watched a scary movie at six and fallen asleep to see her parents morphing into zombie-like monsters.

And then it was all gone, and she was sitting alone on the asphalt, one hand over her mouth and eyes wildly staring at nothing.

072. Space

A kindly woman pulled Zoe off the middle of the street and took her inside, giving her a cup of tea and trying to coax some reaction from her. Zoe's mind in the meantime scrambled for…something. She couldn't understand; where had that monster come from? How had it popped out from her nightmare and become alive.

In the mirror, her eyes looked slightly blank, like that slim moment wherein she froze before bursting into tears and rushing into her mother's lap.

But her mother wasn't here. Just a kind stranger who couldn't understand anything at all.

073. Whitewash

She had the Juzu beads in her hand, she realised. She didn't remember picking them up, but they were there, feeling coarse and stiff in her hold. They looked like the ones sold at the Buddhist temple, but the feeling was far from the innocent smooth plastic.

She half wondered why someone had painted them white. It seemed exceptionally cruel.

It was clear evidence that charms and magic and curses weren't a myth. It was funny how she'd never quite accepted that, even after seeing two boys suddenly transform into animals.

The Curse. The Curse of the Zodiac. Of the Cat.

A nightmare she could forget if she wanted, but he could never awake from.

She blinked suddenly, her vision clearing after a blur, and found three salty drops on a closed fist.

074. Alone

She took too long to look for him; the street was filling up as people went about for lunch, but the faces were all unfamiliar. In a way though, she was relieved because it allowed her to push through the crowds and search more easily…and it should be her, alone, because he had shown his other form to her for a reason…

She still shuddered at that, but she forced herself to continue moving until she stopped at the three where she had found him after his first transformation. He had fled from her then too, she mused, looking at the empty branch the black cat had curled himself on. Hiding a cat amongst the trees. It had been instinct then.

And now…

It suddenly clicked, and she was running again. To the cemetery this time. A place that was always empty at this time of the day. And the only place one could hide the smell of death.

Now she knew what she was thinking. And what she needed to do. There was still a lot she didn't know: about the Sohmas, about the curse. But all that was still in the background…and where it should be.

Nightmares, curses, unfortunate circumstances…they didn't change people. It just pushed them apart. Made them lonely.

075. Coma

Her resolve wavered as she crossed past the graves. She wasn't a naturally superstitious person, but somehow the air felt far heavier than the only other time she had walked that path. But still she pressed on, and it didn't take her long to catch the scent she was looking for and inch towards it.

Like in her nightmares…

And then she was there, standing at the foot of a grave while the grotesque figure curled around the head.

If she had been uncertain, that ocean behind blue eyes did it for her.

'You can't push me away,' she said quietly. 'I won't let you…because I know as well as you do you don't really want to.'

It wasn't a nightmare she could awake from, but it was one she could make into a dream.

Chapter Text

076. Letters

'Do I have to spell it by the letter?' Zoe asked, annoyed.

Takuya shrugged. 'Well, you have to admit that was unexpected. Although I think Koji's more to blame than you for –'

'For what?' Koji chose just that moment to arrive.

'For not warning us!' the brunet exclaimed. 'Or Zoe really.'

'About?' The Rat didn't look too pleased to be questioned without putting all the cards on the table.

Zoe looked a little uncomfortable. 'Koichi told me a little more about the curse,' she said quietly. 'Including how the hierarchy works and the part of the curse that only affects the Cat.'

Koji frowned a little at the look in her eyes. 'I told you,' he said plainly. 'I've never met the Cat of the Zodiac, so I only know they're looked down upon because they're not a true part of it.'

'Not…the other form?' Zoe asked, fiddling with her empty hands. She'd given the Juzu beads back – she'd had to, obviously – but she'd gotten used to their feeling around her wrist in that short period.

'A little,' Koji admitted. 'I was really young though, so the memory's hazy. It's more what Fuyuno's said. Eons of hatred accumulating in a single soul that knows only revenge –'

Zoe's gaze darkened unexpectedly. 'That's a lie,' she spat. 'He was lonely, and afraid, but he certainly didn't want revenge on anything.' She fiddled with her empty wrist again. 'I wish he wasn't sick again; I feel like I need to talk to him about something, but I can't think what.'

'Maybe you've got a crush on him?' JP suggested, breaking the ice.

'JP!' The blonde blushed a dark red.

077. Phone Call

Teppei hung up the phone and glared at it. Seriously, you try to ring a guy to tell them you'll be late, and you get an annoying sister in return. Then you try to ring and apologize for being late – despite he had tried to warn ahead – and he gets another annoying sister in return.

He rolled his eyes. No doubt Katsuharu was causing trouble somewhere again. He abandoned the phone and grabbed his coat, relieved the weather had turned back to its usual early spring.

Too bad Katsuharu hadn't. But his family could be blamed for that as well.

Teppei's mother stopped him at the door. 'Are you going with that friend again?'

'Yes Mum.'

She frowned at him. 'He always gets you caught up…' She shook her head. 'There's no talking you out of it, is there?'

He shook his head.

'You could at least be more assertive,' she sighed. 'I don't know what you hope to accomplish following him into trouble.'

078. Music

Teppei found Katsuharu tapping his foot while listening to his walkman.

'Yo,' he said, waving a hand.

Katsuharu glared at him. 'Where were you yesterday?'

'Chores,' the other explained. 'And I tried to call you.' The grimace showed what had happened during those phone calls.

'My sisters,' Katsuharu said dryly. 'Were they flirting with you or blasting your eardrums off?'

'Both,' Teppei admitted. 'But I left a message.'

'Which obviously didn't go through.' He kicked at the ground again. 'Too busy in their own little worlds.'

079. Silence

They stood in silence after that, each of Teppei's suggestions getting shot down.

The younger brunet knew his mother meant well, but he really couldn't see her point from his position. Suggestions were going nowhere, and he almost wished something would attract the other's attention.

'Go home Teppei.'

'Huh?' The boy blinked. 'Why?'

'I don't really feel like hanging out.' Katsuharu stuffed his hands into his pockets and started walking off.

'Not even the arcade?'

'No.' And the elder brunet let his accomplice standing in the middle of the sidewalk.

080. Cards

Katsuharu happened on a pair of five year olds playing cards under the shade of a tree. They looked pretty cute too, happy and carefree and giggling madly every time they reached for the pile together.

From his view, they looked to be playing Snap.

And the sight was so giddy that it made him want to kick something. And so he did, scattering the pile about and sending the two kids scampering after them in tears and wailing for their mothers.

'Yeah,' he muttered bitterly, turning his back to them. 'Go crying to your mothers.'

Just like those bratty twins.

Chapter Text

081. Emblem

Koji glared at the rack of jackets. He'd never had to think too deeply about presents before, but that was because he didn't have special friends to give them to. But now it was JP's birthday, and Koji was having trouble finding something adequate.

A lot of trouble in fact.

When no jacket jumped out, he abandoned that rack and tried a different one. The jumpsuits all looked too similar to the ones he already had…and why was he thinking on the lines of clothes anyway?

He rolled his eyes at himself. Because Takuya and Shinya found some "awesome" magic tricks, and Tommy was getting some mechanical tool or gadget. He didn't know what Zoe was planning, but he was fairly sure it would not involve clothes. So clothes seemed like the best option: something personal and usable.

Although he was very tempted to just get a voucher with the luck he was having.

Still, he stuck a hand into the rack and flicked through a few hangers, pulling jumpsuits out at random before replacing them again. He almost gave up on that rack as well before he pulled out something that looked promising. Unlike his usual bright blue and yellow attire it had a more natural blend of a darker blue and gold with streaks of brown. The only thing bright was the emblem over the chest pocket – but when Koji looked at the size, it was far too small.

He tried to hold back a groan, but a passing salesgirl heard him anyway. At least some fruit came out of it, as she managed to find the exact same jumpsuit in the size he needed.

082. Elephant

Zoe looked at the little crystal elephant, then shook her head and moved on to the next. She shook her head again; the glittering rat was cute, but she was trying to find a present for JP, not Koji. Besides, she wasn't too sure how Koji would react if she gave him such an ornament, so it probably wasn't a safe present.

The next one was a crystal ladybug. She considered it, but the salesgirl put a new ornament up on display and she immediately gravitated her way towards it.

'That's a rare one,' the salesgirl commented. 'Those beetles aren't found in Japan.'

Zoe forked over the yen she needed; thankfully, "rare" in this case didn't mean expensive. After all, they weren't exactly collectables, but it would go nicely with JP's collection of insects (and not one of them alive or dead, thankfully).

She hoped they looked alright with the plastic ones though.

083. Monopoly

'Monopoly?' Koichi repeated.

He'd been surprised when he'd opened the door to find Zoe in the hallway with a large bag and two other boys, one he recognised by face but not by name and the other he knew not at all. And he'd been doubly surprised when, after letting them in, Zoe plunged into conversation as if nothing had ever happened. Then she'd pulled out the board and practically ordered them all to play…after the introductions and a small explanation to why her two remaining friends (including Koji thankfully as he had no idea what would happen if his mother came home)

He wound up picking the boot, and was surprised a third time when JP laughed at him.

'Sorry,' he chucked as three pairs of eyes turned to him. 'You just reminded me of Puss in Boots.'

'Puss in Boots?' Koichi mentally winced; he was sounding like a parrot.

'You know, the English cartoon.'

He shook his head.

'You don't?' JP almost shouted. 'How could you not have heard of him? You haven't seen Shrek?'

Another shake of the head.

'That's like the best cartoon.'

'I think that's an exaggeration,' Zoe muttered, but JP didn't hear.

'Come over some time and we'll have a movie marathon. Actually, come over on my birthday; the others are all coming over too. It'll take all night to watch them all…'

'JP,' Tommy interrupted, having rolled a double 6 and moved off the GO square in the meantime, only to land on a square already housing a green piece. 'How much rent?'

84. Reality

JP and Tommy left ahead, but Zoe hung around for a bit.

'I hope you don't think I'm being too…' She fished for a word. 'Pushy, but…' She shook her head and started again. 'You needed company, and Tommy and I needed to keep JP occupied, and Tommy wanted to see you again as well…but I really should have called ahead and…aargh, my thoughts are getting all scrambled.'

Koichi laughed a little at that as she tried to pet down the hair she had messed up.

'Hey, I'll let you know we just got stuck with each other and we didn't have the problem of not seeing each other 24/7 until we were inseparable!' she exclaimed. Seeing the look of confusion, she further explained: 'It was a stupid dare, and we were the only ones idiot enough to fall for it and stubborn enough to see it through. You didn't hear about it at school? I thought everyone knew. The girls in my class talked about it more than last week's reality show.'

Koichi shook his head. 'I was probably sick then.'

'You miss out on quite a bit, don't you?' She sighed through her nose. 'Would you come to JP's birthday? We're sleeping over at his house…and we probably will wind up watching all the Shrek movies. He's been threatening to since we met him.'

'It wouldn't feel right,' the other disagreed. 'I don't know you all that well.'

'You're not going to know us any better by not trying,' Zoe pointed out. 'And I know it's hard, but if you don't live your life now, you'll always regret it…' Her voice trailed off.

'Zoe…'

'Oh, am I interrupting something?' Tomoko's voice suddenly said.

Both teens jumped at the unexpected entrance.

085. Serenity

'Really,' Tomoko laughed in amusement at the two startled teens. 'You two look like a pair of mischievous chicks…or lovebirds.'

They both blushed and stuttered something, and she had to keep herself from laughing harder. But it really was a heart-warming sight, watching her son act like any other boy his age for once and with someone willing to look past his walls and try to dig out the real Koichi underneath. It was especially heart-warming when they snapped back to look at each other, caught between denying and awkwardly trying to work out exactly what they felt and were trying to say.

Sadly, they sorted themselves out a little too soon.

'You'll come, won't you?' Zoe asked.

'Umm…sure.'

Once Zoe had left, Tomoko turned to grilled her son. 'Where exactly are you two going?'

'Nowhere!' the boy exclaimed, waving his arms. 'A friend of hers is having a sleepover on his birthday and he…well, he sort of invited me I guess…'

'And Zoe insisted you take up the invitation?' Tomoko shook her head lightly. 'Not many people bother with written invitations for anything short of a wedding nowadays. You should go.'

A pause. 'I already agreed.'

'I know, but children normally ask their parents before accepting invitations.'

Koichi went a little red and mumbled something again. Tomoko chucked and ruffled his hair. 'Don't forget to get a nice present.'

Chapter Text

086. Bone

Shopping for presents wasn't something Koichi often did, and when he was looking for one it was normally for a woman: his mother or, before her death, his grandmother. So trying to find a present for someone he barely knew, was a year older and male, was proving to be quite a challenge. Especially since anything that looked remotely promising wound up being either too cheap and therefore inadequate or too expensive.

He wanted to get a book, but had no idea what sort of books the other would like, and the downtown bookstore seemed to have run out of everything save their horror collection. He debated the magic tricks isle, but they didn't seem like adequate presents, and anything mechanical-related was either over his head or too expensive for his allowance. And it wasn't like he knew what size the other wore to give him clothes…and that exhausted what he had learnt about the other boy in that long game of monopoly.

His eyes fell on the collection of IQ puzzles in a small shop tucked away in a corner of town. Somehow, he got the feeling the older boy would enjoy them…although he felt he was being a little judgemental presuming that from one meeting. Certainly nothing Zoe had ever said (not that he knew her for all that long either) implied JP would like IQ puzzles.

He selected one that looked at first sight like a cube with multiple cubes within it. It was like the one he had – his favourite that his grandmother had gotten him at four – but unique in its own way.

Now that he thought about it, he didn't think he'd ever seen a duplicate of his puzzle either.

He counted out the yen in his pocket, and found he had just enough.

087. Chalk Dust

Takuya coughed as he accidentally dropped the duster and got chalk dust in his mouth.

'Yuck,' he spat. 'Why did we get stuck with cleaning the blackboards?'

'Be glad we're not scraping gum off the desks,' Koji shot back, scrubbing at the board with a soapy sponge. 'Remind me again why I'm here with you?'

'How about you remind me why I'm here first?' the other shot back.

'You're proud of the fact that you can't keep track of your detentions?' Koji asked, incredulously. 'What in the world do your parents say?'

'Dad says to stand up for what I believe in,' Takuya shrugged. 'Mum would rather I don't get into so much trouble. If it's a fight with someone, she'll ground me, hoping I won't get into another fights in the near future and set a bad example for Shinya…but I think it's honestly too late for that.' He laughed sheepishly. 'He said though that Tommy stopped him from beating some bully up.' A chuckle escaped as he shook his head. 'How about your father though? What has he said about the sudden increase in detentions?'

'Nothing, because I haven't told him yet.'

088. Manuscript

Koji realised that afternoon that he really should inform his father before his next report card was issued…or the school decided he'd had one too many detentions and decided to call home.

When that thought entered his mind though, he realised how little he really communicated with his father. And, at that moment, he decided to try and change that. Maybe it was because of the friends he had made. Four wonderful friends. And how the Cat was nothing like he'd imagined – and he hadn't, funnily enough, needed Zoe or Tommy to tell him that. The kid looked more like an adorable little kitten than the monster the Sohma family had labelled him as. In all honesty, Koji had felt sorry for him at first glance, as sickly as he was…and with the fate that awaited him.

He forgot soon enough though, with JP teasing the pre-emptive couple…for both of them claimed not to have crushes on each other, but apparently both mothers agreed otherwise. And all the mad scrambling with them playing monopoly again, this time with eight players at Tommy's place. He wasn't sure why they were playing monopoly so often – except Takuya claimed to be broke as he wasn't getting an allowance till the month was over, and JP had spent his on some new mechanical gadget and nobody even thought to as Koichi whether he wanted to go after having not watch a single western film or cartoon.

But all that just led up to the fact that he and his father hadn't talked in quite a while, and it was a talk long overdue. Sadly though, he was getting the feeling that he needed a script…and preferably a burn-proof recipe too, as he managed to burn his first recent attempt at cooking dinner before the housemaid cleaned up his mess.

Now that he thought about it, she cleaned a lot of his messes.

089. Ink

Kousei pocketed his pen long enough to unlock the door, and then it was back in his hand, scrawling down the details being relayed to him by the phone tucked between his shoulder and ear. His eyes were focused on the paper as well, repeating the information to make sure he had it down correctly; it was alright though, as he knew the house like the back of his hand and Koji, if he was home, would be either on the couch in the living room or in his bedroom.

So sure was he of that that he did not expect to walk into his son standing in the entrance hall.

090. Perfection

Kousei blinked. Koji returned that with a blink of his own. The voice on the phone thankfully got interrupted on his own end, mumbling he would call back soon to continue their one-sided conversation.

Kousei was more than happy to agree, as the same words had almost escaped from his own mouth.

'Is something the matter?' he asked immediately, phone going back into his pocket…along with scraps of paper he would need to sort at some point. 'You're not sick or anything, are you?'

The last time Koji had gotten sick – which was quite a few years ago – had been a mini-apocalypse.

'No.' Koji shuffled his feet. 'I just…I got detention.'

Kousei stared at him. 'Detention?'

'And…umm…I made some friends too.'

His father blinked. 'I assume this friends of yours had something to do with your detention?'

'Detentions actually,' Koji admitted. 'And I tried to make dinner but I burnt it and Satomi had to help clean up, and I won't be home Sunday because JP's having a sleepover –'

'I believe you're suppose to ask your parent before you agree to sleepovers.' Kousei shook his head. 'But slow down; I'm having trouble following the rest of what you've said.'

Mainly because Koji didn't get into trouble – except with him – and Koji didn't have friends last time he checked. Which was admittedly a while ago, what with a frosty wall and work piling up between them.

Chapter Text

091. Ring

'So let me get this straight,' Kousei said finally. 'You've finally admitted that Takuya Kanbara, Zoe Orimoto, JP Shibayama and Tommy Himi are your friends plus made an additional friend somewhere along the line, you've loosened up enough around them to earn yourself a detention which you didn't see fit to inform me of until now, you agreed to a sleepover without informing me, and you've finally accepted Satomi into the family?'

When it was put like that, it sounded like a really horrible list, but it was the truth and so Koji had no choice but to shamefully admit it.

Kousei nodded in approval. 'Good; the first part of being an adult is admitting your mistakes and fixing them.'

His son stared at him; he had been expecting, from the previous tone, a reprimand at the very least.

'So you're getting along fine with your friends now?'

'Fine enough,' Koji said, a little cautiously.

'Just follow your heart,' his father advised. 'You've got a good one after all. No amount of me telling you what to do got you to do something.'

Koji was rather relieved when his father's cell phone rang; he wasn't used to getting into such deep conversations with his father. Kousei on the other hand wasn't as pleased.

092. Drive

Katsuharu normally didn't like to drive – he would up playing chaperone for his siblings more often than not, but there were times he just had to get out of the district and the car was the only way to go.

After all, no-one was crazy enough to try and avoid people on the metropolitan, as crowded as it always was. And at that moment, he didn't feel like looking at even Teppei. Teppei who always followed him into trouble without question. Teppei who always said what he was doing was wrong, and then turned around and did it with him. Teppei, who let him crash for the night when he didn't want to go home. Teppei, who was nothing more than a sidekick.

But he didn't want to crash for the night this time. Hell, he didn't even know what he wanted. And it was all Tommy's fault, for what he said.

He slammed a fist into the steering wheel. The horn blared, but there was no-one for miles to hear it, save the birds to squawked and ran.

'Yeah,' he muttered sourly. 'You'd better run.'

But he didn't want the birds there. He didn't want them running. It wasn't quiet enough. It wasn't alone enough. They were still judging him. Being frightened of him.

He send the rest of the birds flying with skidding tires as he tore out onto the highway again, over the speed limit but not even caring.

093. Missing

It wasn't like Katsuharu to shake off his company, so the first thing Teppei did after arriving back home was ring his place.

One of the twins answered the phone. And he was unable to get someone more coherent on the phone because of the learning disability they shared. So he was forced to surrender, calling again after finishing his homework this time to get the elder sister, who was marginally better, provided she didn't brush him off like she usually did.

She disappeared for a moment, before returning on the line. 'He took the car,' she said perplexed. 'He never takes the car.'

'He took the car,' Teppei repeated.

'What's he thinking,' the older girl muttered. 'If he's not back by the time Mum starts work, he's dead.'

Teppei frowned at that; Katsuharu had never mentioned his mother started work in the evening. 'Where does your Mum work?' he ventured to ask.

The girl's tone suddenly went defensive. 'What's it matter to you?'

'I'm Katsuharu's friend,' the brunet snapped back. 'I think I deserve to know what's going on with his home life, especially since all I get is half-answers.'

She was silent.

'I remember you,' she said finally. 'You're at our place sometimes.'

'Ye – yeah.'

094. Full Moon

It would be a full moon that night, and Koichi couldn't help but sneeze as he weeded the garden. Often, he would wait for his mother, but she had been frequently putting in extra hours at her work in the absence of one of the senior staff. Since it looked as though she might get a promotion soon, no-one was complaining.

Still, the full moon always made him ansty, and gardening was always a comfort. It was probably the cat part of him, but he didn't mind the restlessness so much if he could enjoy the smell of watered soil and dancing plants and dry grass…even if they did bring on the occasional sneeze. It was a natural, peaceful smell, crafting an environment like.

It smelt of a world without judgement, without chains. With freedom.

He scraped at the ones ensnaring a rose bush, managing to scratch a finger while pulling the weed away. It went to show, that even in nature, where there were no humans to make labels and confines, things weren't as free as they appeared. And if he was a true cat, wild as the grass he now coaxed away from the other plants, he would still be slave to his hunger, his thirst, and his need for companionship.

His eyes and heart darkened as they remembered that time all too well…

095. New Direction

Mrs Shibayama laughed at the shopping list her son handed to her. 'You're asking me to get enough food to feed an army. Remind me how many friends you're inviting again.'

'Five,' her son announced proudly. 'Just very close friends this year.'

She knew the significance; often, their house was filled on JP's birthday, but when looking at the presents in the aftermath, she couldn't help but find them very shallow. A lot she gave away to charity or to various distant nieces and nephews; JP would look momentarily sad before waving her of on her errand.

But this year was promising to be different. For one, he wouldn't stop talking about these new friends of his. So much so in fact that she never noted the transition from one friend to three to four and then five. They just happened. And he seemed genuinely happy with them, sacrificing other things to go "hang out with them" as he called it. He'd never do that before, because no-one would do the same fro him.

And while she was looking forward to meeting these new friends, she highly doubted she needed that much food to celebrate the new direction of her son's social life.

'Do you think eight people can eat this much?' She showed him the list, and JP considered, running over it again.

'I guess not,' he said, sheepishly rubbing a mat into the back of his hair. 'I guess I was just remembering the other years.'

'I'll tell you what.' His mother scrunched the list up and threw it away. 'How about you let me make a homemade dinner for your friends. Or don't you think they're worth that?'

'They're definitely worth that,' JP empathically replied. 'Your meatloaf?'

She laughed again. 'They must be very special if they're worth my meatloaf. But if you insist.'

Chapter Text

096. Nostalgia

Kouichi remembered that time very well, when he had fled from warmth and sought out the coldest place he could find. In the form of the beast, the overly sensitive nose was almost drowned in the stench of death: the small yet deep river that ran through the cemetary. Thinking of the life he was doomed to, in the Room. Thinking if he could just freeze, to never feel the pain that was his greatest fear…

That was before his grandmother was buried there, but it still felt the same whenever he went. That same coldness. That same death. That same loneliness.

For him, that was the perfect definition of the curse of the Cat. Or it had been, except there were people in the world who wouldn't allow it. His mother…and he thought his father too. Splitting them up to protect them both…because how could the Cat ever hope to live peacefully, and happily, with the Rat?

But more recently there was that same brother – who didn't remember, didn't know the full extent of what the curse had done to their family. And friends: people who didn't care no matter how much they revealed, who shouted at the unfairness of it all and otherwise acted as though it didn't matter at all.

And maybe, for the next few months at least, it really didn't.

097. Protection

A multitude of feelings lashed at Katsuharu, prickling his eyes, his muscles, and making it altogether rather difficult to focus on the road. Not that he was really focusing; he had no destination in mind, nor did the landmarks he see suggest any. He'd left the central part of the city behind; the houses were more spread out, with long winding paths from the main road and no gate to block them.

In fact, most of them were reminiscent of the old shrines, long flat houses with more space than was needed, while the newer living quarters were cramped. Another example at how unfairly the world was split, some people getting all the attention and others none…

His attention was suddenly diverted by something red flashing across the road, and then a bundle of yellow and a screaming voice –

His foot hovered above the accelerator, then slammed onto the brakes. Both arms twisted, almost as if they had a mind of his own.

The next moment, they were in front of his face, as though they could stop the impact that had already happened.

098. Companionship

'That idiot got into a car crash!' the female voice yelled in his ear the moment Teppei picked up the phone.

'Excuse me?' Teppei asked, momentarily bemused. He thought the voice was of Katsuharu's elder sister, but he couldn't be sure.

'Katsuharu!' Yep, it was Katsuharu's elder sister alright. 'He swerved the car into a pole.'

'A pole?' the other repeated dumbly.

'Yes, a pole.' The girl was too worked up to be exasperated. 'He's lucky he didn't crack his skull open! He's – he's – ' She stopped, finding she had lost the coherency to continue her tirade.

'He's – ' It suddenly hit him. 'He was in an accident?'

'What have I just been saying?!'

Teppei decided he was better off not answering that question.

'Is he – is he alright?'

She calmed down a little at that. 'I don't know actually,' she admitted. 'We just got a call from the hospital. Concussion, a few strained muscles, and he managed to bang up his arms. It sounds like he's alright.' She sounded rather doubtful.

Teppei wasn't the most studious, so he didn't know whether a concussion was an alarm signal or not, but he didn't really care. 'Which hospital? I'm coming over.'

There was a quiet "I was hoping you would" before the address.

'I think he needs a friend,' the girl said afterwards, before hanging up.

'He needs a family,' Teppei countered.

'Well, if you get there before him, get it in his thick head that we're less than a call away.'

099. Tender

Teruo sat on his porch and sighed. Things were quiet in the Sohma house, and with the members of Zodiac (or the majority of them) living there, it was unusual for it to be so. If the Rat were here, the two of them would be fighting as if the world would come to an end if they stopped.

And it might, because the anger the Cow had towards the Rat was eclipsed only by the anger of the Cat…and in all fairness too, for it was the Rat who had brought the wrath of God upon the Cat whose only sins had been naivety and trustfulness. An unfair price it was to pay, and Teruo couldn't help but sympathise with Kouichi, who with the spirit of the Cat seemed to grow from those same faults, always making him appear younger than his age and vulnerable, walking into pain when anyone else in his shoes could just as easily stay away. Especially as he was more tender to said pain, both physical and emotion, always bleeding easily in body and soul as well.

And it wasn't as though Fuyuno was in any condition to go around chasing stray Zodiac animals.

'What'ya thinking about?'

Speaking of stray Zodiac animals.

'Hello Chiaki,' Teruo said with some surprise. 'Have a seat.'

'I think I will,' Chiaki agreed, tossing her long braid of brown hair before accepting the proffered chair. 'Well, what are you thinking about?'

'Kouichi.'

'Hmmph,' the brunette snorted.

'You don't like him.'

'Of course not,' Chiaki responded in a matter-of-fact tone. 'He's the Cat.'

'And Fuyuno?'

'He's…a different story.' Her voice dropped and she looked away a little. 'How is he?' she asked finally. 'I heard he was sick.'

'He's always sick,' Teruo pointed out. 'It's nothing that you had to come all the way out here for.'

Chiaki turned back and aimed a kick at the other's shins, which connected. Painfully.

'Ouch.'

'I can visit whenever I want,' she snapped. 'I've got just as much of a right to be here as you lot.'

He didn't mention that she lost her right when she left to live outside the compound. Because he knew she could have gone much further. She knew too, but even without her paddock, the horse was still as trapped as the other Zodiac members.

100. Shatter

He was trapped…somewhere. As it wasn't a situation Katsuharu commonly found himself in, he was having a little trouble coming to grips with the entire situation. Something was banging. At windows he thought, but he couldn't be sure.

Something sharp. Sticks if he could recognise the sound correctly. Someone tapping sticks on the window. Then someone kicking a ball. Window shattering. Glass pricking him.

Sticks hitting him. He automatically covered his hands, yelling a multitude of things, all of various colours. But no-one was listening. No-one cared. Small small shadows grinning with gleaming white teeth and black bodies, raising their sticks at the chance.

He begged for help, but no-one came when he beat others down, and no-one would come for him now.

There was a splash as he became soaked in high water, and a croak as he opened his eyes to a bright light.

Chapter Text

101. Mellow

Katsuharu returned to awareness with the feeling of someone stroking his hair. He lay quiet, enjoying the movement without really bothering to think of where it came from, or from who. Instead, he let it soothe his rapidly beating heart, glad that someone cared enough to keep the nightmare – for it must have been a nightmare – away.

Then they spoke to him, and he realised exactly who it was. His mother: not busy with the twins by day and working through evenings so they could afford the specialities, but with him, at his bedside.

Why was he in bed anyway?

His brow furrowed slightly and unconsciously, eliciting a tiny gasp of pain. The next moment, the hand had shifted slightly, tenderly fingering a very sore part of his forehead.

Then he remembered. Despite his arms, he had slammed quite hard into the steering wheel. Yanking the wheel in order to avoid hitting a kid on the road. A kid who was wearing that annoyingly oversized hat of Tommy's, reminding him –

'I'd hang out with you if you asked.'

'Oh dear, what sort of nightmare are you having?'

Her voice was soft, not sharp and straight as she had to always address the twins, who otherwise never seemed to hear her.

And her voice only dropped further. 'Are you alone in there?' A pause. 'Because we're not there for you?'

His breath caught; it was a miracle she hadn't realised he was awake yet.

The hand returned to his hair, stroking it back. 'We do try,' she confessed. 'You know how the twins are; someone always needs to be keeping an eye on them. And Seiko's just started her new job, but even between the three of us it seems we're always short on something. And your father and I do regret it – maybe we shouldn't have had so many children, but we wanted each and every one of you…'

He did know, all of it. But at some point, he had gone blind, and now listening to how hard the rest of his family had it, it was a like a wake-up slap long overdue.

Stupid, stupid, stupid. You could have helped instead of hinder everything.

'And you were always getting into trouble; we just didn't know what to do.' A sob was swallowed. 'But I think I understand now.'

102. Eternal

'I wish you would talk to us,' Katsuharu's mother continued, not noticing her son being all too stiff in feigning his sleep. 'I now I've asked you so many times if something's bothering you.'

She had, but it was always at the wrong time, and he had ignored her. But he hadn't been busy like her.

'Still, I'm your mother. I should have known what was wrong!' Her voice went higher, and choked up again. 'It didn't need to come to this: hurting others, hurting yourself – where did it all start!'

He felt a sudden weight on his stomach; his mother had put her head gently there.

'I always thought one day – one day – it never comes! But still, I love every one of you, and I wouldn't let you out of my sight if I could.'

Katsuharu finally cracked his heart open, feeling like he had had enough. 'Think of how much more trouble there'd be,' he joked weakly, before coughing as his ribs were squeezed. 'Gah, who's that?!'

The intelligible mumbles told him it was his brothers, and he had never been happier he couldn't understand a word they said. And his younger sister, being unusually quiet.

'And how the hell could you get into a car accident and worry us like that!'

His elder sister's eyes were rimmed with red and black.

'And I believe you're well overdue for a punishment.'

'Taro,' his wife said disapprovingly. 'Can't you give him a break?'

'No, it's alright.' Katsuharu sighed; he long had this one coming. And nothing like a harsh punishment to get stuff into thick brains.

103. Subtle

Apologies were not Katsuharu's strong suit, so Teppei found himself quite taken aback when the other suddenly gave him one upfront.

'You – you couldn't have given me a little warning,' he responded weakly.

'Hmmph.'

Teppei relaxed a little; that sounded more like regular Katsuharu.

'Now…you're sorry for?'

The patient sighed. 'Do I have to spell it out?'

'Yep,' the other said cheerfully.

'Fine.' He groaned. 'I was an idiot, going around causing trouble and dragging you with me just because I wanted my family to pay attention to me – and I was just making a bigger mess of things.'

Teppei shook his head. He had almost been expecting something dramatic. 'Finally,' he sighed. 'My mum was about to reach her limit in letting you drag me around.'

Katsuharu stared, then shook his head. 'Are you serious?'

'Yep.'

He groaned again. 'Couldn't you have just knocked it in to me?'

'Sorry, your head's too thick. Though the car seemed to do a good job.'

104. Cheat

Tommy's heart was thumping as he knocked on the door, chessboard under one arm.

'Can I come in?' he asked, squeaking the last part.

Katsuharu looked away from the TV and stared. 'Tommy?' he said, sounding uncertain. 'Uhh…sure, I guess.'

Knowing that was the best he could hope for, Tommy put the chessboard on the bedside table and sidled out of his jacket before taking a seat.

'Well…' He began. 'I…came to visit you.'

Pretty pathetic, he knew, but he was a little apprehensive. This was the guy after all who'd punched him many a time and ruined one of his brother's precious books. Although he was also the guy who'd given him two of his best friends: Shinya and Koichi (although he felt he still didn't know the other all that well, even if he saw him more often than anyone…other than Zoe).

'So…want to play chess?' Tommy suggested, pointing at the board he brought.

'Uhh…sure.' Katsuharu shrugged; it would surely be more interesting than the comedy he had been watching.

'And no cheating.'

So Katsuharu wound up losing. Quite badly too.

105. Transparent

'Were you telling the truth?' Katsuharu asked, looking away once the awkward silence stretched a little.

'Excuse me?'

'You know…back then.' He waved a hand, wincing as pain shot through his forearm.

Luckily, Tommy managed to understand. 'Oh, you mean when I saw you with my brother? Uh…yeah, I did.' He fiddled with his thumbs. 'It seemed like you were lonely, but all you had to do was ask and everyone would have been happier.'

'Yeah, I get that now.' Katsuharu scowled. Real life could be a bitch sometimes, he thought to himself. 'I'm sorry,' he said abruptly, and before the other could say anything in response, he added: 'Don't you dare mention this again.'

Tommy couldn't help it; he cracked up laughing. 'I've already got an older brother,' he pointed out, 'but okay.'

Katsuharu was understandably bewildered. 'Yutaka does that when he admits he was wrong to me,' the other explained to him. 'And Takuya does it to Shinya too; it's almost like it's an older brother thing.'

'I've got two younger brothers, you know,' Katsuharu confessed. 'They're – well, they were born really premature, even more so than normal twins, so they've got some sort of learning disability, and well – why am I telling you this anyway?'

He sounded almost embarrassed , and Tommy decided to change the subject.

'Another chess match?' he asked.

'Can you not beat me in two rounds?' came the reply.

'Umm…I could teach you how to play.'

'I know how.'

'But Yutaka told me not even beginners fall for the two-round checkmate.'

That might have been an insult, but Tommy said it innocently enough that all Katsuharu could do was groan.

'What have I gotten myself into?'

Chapter Text

106. Believable

'Can you tell me more about your family?' Zoe asked.

Koichi stopped walking suddenly.

'I mean, the Sohmas, the Zodiac members,' the blonde was quick to clarify.

'Why do you want to know?' Koichi asked.

'Well…' Zoe paused for a moment, considering her words. 'I'm… it's not just curiosity, but I feel like I'm misjudging them somehow.'

She came up beside the other, and they both started walking again. 'Well…' Koichi shrugged; he couldn't say he understood since those people – or most of them – weren't particularly important to him except in relation to the curse. The Sohma family spread wide after all, and he and his mother had fallen out of even the financial influence. 'You probably know Chiaki –'

Zoe blinked. 'Chiaki, as in the one from our class.'

Kouichi nodded.

'She's a member of the Zodiac?' Truthfully, she hadn't seen that one coming at all. 'But she's – she's wild, and –'

Zoe clammed up when Koichi looked at her, almost reprimanding. 'She's not wild,' he said quietly. 'She lives apart from the main family, the same as my mother and I do. She's just…estranged, I suppose.'

'But –' The blonde was still grappling with the idea. 'I know she and I never get along, but you guys never talk to each other. I don't really know about you – ' And she was ashamed to admit she really didn't, 'but Chiaki goes out of her way to ignore you.'

'We don't get along,' was the explanation.

'Because you're the Cat?' That was said in some bitterness.

'…why do you say that so bitterly?'

'Because you're not.' Zoe frowned. 'Something must come from the end of it.'

107. Repeat

'My mother has a theory about that actually,' Koichi said, half smiling.

'Oh?' Zoe was caught off guard. It was rare to see Koichi smiling as though he meant it, and she was starting to see the difference between the genuine happiness and the small smile designed to keep others content.

'Yeah. She says I've found the best friends in the world, because they can look past the monster and see the human inside.'

She opened her mouth, and closed it again. The words: "don't call yourself a monster" got caught in her throat, and she realised that her heart knew, even if her mind refused to believe, that the true form of a cat would always be defined as a monster. Whether fair or not, whether that image had been deserved or the innocent had been forced to suffer, a monster would always be a thing of nightmares and horror. And every person had that sort of monster in them; the Cat's curse was just the most pronounced.

'Millennia of envy,' Koichi said suddenly, and Zoe realised he had fallen behind. 'Accumulated hatred, anger – towards others…and also oneself. Because Terou's right you know.'

'Teruo –'

'The Cow.' Koichi hurried on as if only unconsciously recognising the interruption. The smile took on an image of pain as he continued: 'he calls me a masochist a lot; whether I obey the summons or not it seems like some God is trying to punish me for trying to belong –' He touched his face, and Zoe noted again how odd it was for him to wear a mask when he wasn't sick. It was though, in his case particularly, better to err on the side of caution; there seemed to be a flu virus wandering around and causing mayhem.

'Why are you talking like this?' Zoe interrupted, staring at the back of the other's head.

The other stopped talking. 'I don't know,' he said finally, his voice sounding more controlled…and more usual.

'You should do it more often.' Maybe she could have smiled as well, if he hadn't sounded so hurt before. If they'd been talking about first crushes or embarrassing moments, then that would be a different matter, but it didn't seem fitting when someone was putting their pain on the card table…even if it was still somehow restrained. 'You know Koichi, you don't need to hide from us. It hasn't been long, I know, but I plan to be friends till the end and so do the others.'

'Why?' Koichi asked.

'Err…' Zoe fished around for a way to describe the feeling. The same thing –or similar, rather – that she had felt with Takuya: a sense of teasing, like a little brother. And Tommy: a maternal, protective feeling. And JP, sort of the older brother. And Koji, who she'd laugh at because he was just so stiff at times but protective all the same. Another brother. 'Love at first sight?'

Koichi stopped walking again and stared at her so incredulously that Zoe couldn't help but blush. 'Uh, I mean – ' She waved her hands. 'Not love love, but…I guess family-sort – hey, stop laughing!'

Sadly, he had stopped by the time she realised that his laughter – like that anyway: bubbly, free – was something she had never heard before.

'I'm stealing a lot of your firsts,' she said quietly, and refused to repeat it when the other caught only the murmurs of her speech and missed the words.

108. Addictive

'JP.' His mother was calling from the kitchen. 'I have a basket here. Could you take it to your grandmother for me?'

'Sure Mum,' JP yelled back, zipping up his overalls (there was no need to be spick and span at home after all) and pulling down the sleeves. 'Be right there.'

'And don't eat all the chocolate this time.' She sounded exasperated. 'Really, it's not healthy, no matter how many endorphins they produce.'

'Diabetes, heart attacks, I know.' The brunet poked his head in the kitchen.

'And this is why I still find you buying chocolate bars with your allowance?' She put her hands on her hips. 'Do I need to cut it again?'

'I haven't brought any recently,' the other protested, before reconsidering: 'well, that one bar, but that was for the cookies.'

Mrs Shibayama looked closely at her son. 'Are you telling the truth?'

JP bobbed his head up and down.

His mother sighed. 'I hope so,' she said. 'I suppose these new friends of yours have been a good influence.'

'The best,' JP agreed, glad to be away from that scrutiny… even if he was telling the truth and thus should have nothing to fear. 'I still feel like I don't know everything about them, but we just sort of – clicked, you know.'

'Well, I'm certainly not complaining.' His mother handed him the basket and stepped back. 'You know, I think you've trimmed some of that fat away.'

'Mum, I'm not fat.' He pouted. 'Mean, calling your son fat.'

'And this is why you only get carrot sticks for morning tea.' She pushed him out the door. 'And don't tell me you starve; your father gets the same.'

That was, of course, the carrot sticks plus any extra goodies lying around the house he happened to pick up. Less of late though, as he was more occupied with other things.

109. Write

Takuya sighed, looking at his blank paper. It was just his luck that everyone else would be enjoying the good weather and hanging out while he was stuck indoors in detention. As Koji pointed out though, the detention was largely his fault. Nothing at all like the one where the teacher hadn't believed his innocent face.

Still, they'd scored a new friend and a detention was well worth that. This one, whether he deserved it or not, was most certainly not. Because he wasn't getting anywhere staring at the empty page; he almost wished they were back in primary school and the teacher would make them write lines. At least he would know then what he had to write.

But this was an essay: an open-ended one. And he was always hopeless with them.

'The importance of other people,' he read aloud, before smacking his head on the table. 'C'mon brain, you must have something to write about this.

Shame everyone else were playing games over at Tommy's house…

A lightbulb suddenly flashed in his mind.

'Got it!'

A few icy stares greeted him, including that of the teacher supervising.

'Sorry,' Takuya muttered quickly, picking up his pen and beginning to scrawl before he lost his train of thought again.

110. Soulful

Takuya stood nervously in front of the teacher's deck; her straight line of a mouth had tended increasingly towards a frown as she read his paper. He'd managed to finish the three page requirement in good time after all, so even after he'd spent half an hour staring out the window he wouldn't be the last to leave. A surprise, and a pleasant one from his perspective.

Since it had never happened before, the teacher was more suspicious, apparently more so as she continued reading through.

'Mr Kanbara,' she said after the last line.

'Y-Yes ma'am?' Of all the teachers he could have had supervising him, Takuya thought, why do I get the scariest?

'Why do I not get work of this quality in my classes from you?' she asked sternly.

'I – well –' It took a moment for the comment to click. 'It's good?'

'Yes, it's good. Much deeper than the babble you usually spout. What I would like to know is why you seem incapable of producing this sort of quality elsewhere?'

'Well, I was just thinking of my friends,' Takuya confessed. 'We almost always hang out after school and even though we haven't known each other that long, we all just clicked, you know.'

'Hmm.' The teacher hummed thoughtfully, before sighing. 'I suppose it's a lost cause convincing you to appreciate your enemies and your homework in the same way.'

Takuya shuffled his feet, feeling a little ashamed. 'I do try,' he said.

'On your homework perhaps.' She raised an eyebrow, and Takuya had to admit he didn't really try to get along with his enemies. Though Tommy was a good influence in that. 'Do keep this in mind the next time you decide to fight in the courtyard.'

Chapter Text

111. Broken

                ‘You haven’t looked this nervous since your hospital trip,’ Tomoko said with some amusement, watching her son sit on the couch and fidget. ‘And I can see you’re not reading that book, so don’t bother pretending.’

Koichi blushed and snapped the book shut; it was true, his eyes hadn’t even been moving from a blank spot at the top of the page. ‘I’ve never been to a friend’s house,’ he pointed out.

                ‘Then I wonder if I’ll have to carry you down the aisle for your wedding.’ Tomoko chuckled at the very thought. ‘Seeing as you wouldn’t have married before either. I wonder what Zoe will say.’

                ‘Mum!’ Koichi blushed at those words, though not even Tomoko could work out which part of her statement he was reacting though. Though, she reflected, there were ample other opportunities to confirm her mother’s intuition – particularly as she approved wholeheartedly of the spirited girl who had made her son so happy and carefree.

Even if carefree meant acting like he was going to kindergarden for the first time, and the happiness he had gained foreshadowed an even deeper sadness in her future. The thought was quick to gloom her mood, and when her son’s eyes flickered up to her she was quick to smile again.

                ‘Kindergarden photos,’ she said, causing him to blush again. And it was the perfect idea: she had plenty of photos decorating that time, including all the adorable ones of her son clinging to her skirt or getting into some sort of strife (the one where he’d accidentally managed to colour his cat form pink was her favourite – albeit they had barely managed to avoid discovery during that incident) and they were enough to make her laugh for real even as the future loomed.

She left the albums open after she’d dressed him up and sent him off, just so she could look back at them.

‘You go have fun,’ was what she said, and meant. That price he would have to pay…later, later – hopefully never.

112. Stop Time

Tomoko watches her son leave with a smile that quickly fades. The kindergarten photos are still there, a picture of innocence even when the echoes of laughter had long since faded away. Her mood turns gloomy again, and this time there is no Koichi to catch her, so she doesn’t force it back. Instead, she can think of the past and the future until the tears run without restraint down her cheeks.

She is happy, but the date was looming closer now, and she cannot help but be sad and scared as well. And she can’t kid herself into hoping it won’t happen; it will and there was nothing they could do now to stop it. Or ever, because as much as she wished it could have been different, fate had tangled the Cat and the Rat too closely together to tear apart.

That was what fighting did: tear people apart. They – Tomoko and Kousei – had been torn apart like that, and their sons were fated to go down an even thornier path. And yet they’d almost reached the end with the Rat ignorant.

Except this crucial point was where they’d met again, and things would go badly no matter which way the corkscrew spun. And that was the future she couldn’t ignore. Even if her son could drown in the present awhile, she could not – could not because she was not surrounded by those emotions, that love, to take her afloat.

Instead, she hadn’t faded photos that hadn’t weathered the passing time, proof that nothing ever would. And a fool’s hope, because she still clung to that hope of hers that Fuyuno would change his mind.

113. Alcohol

JP’s friends arrived with varying degrees of nervousness, Koichi being the most obvious and Takuya looking as though he was just another child of the Shibayamas. All had brought their presents, and after a bit of parental protest they decided that opening them would be the first event of the night.

So Mrs Shibayama poured them some juice (non-alcoholic of course, since JP was the oldest of them and still not twenty) and left them to the living room. The presents were quickly opened and admired, then carefully put away as JP displayed his pride: a tray of homemade cookies that were quickly devoured.

                ‘Well,’ Mrs Shibayama said, in some astonishment as she brought another laden tray. ‘Maybe I shouldn’t have made my cookies then.’

                ‘No, no,’ JP said hurriedly. ‘Your cookies are the best, Mum. Really.’

And they were admittedly better than JP’s, though he didn’t seem to mind that. ‘I’m getting better,’ he said – before he remembered something else. ‘Speaking of getting better, you’re still looking a little peaky.’

He was talking to Koichi, who’d reached for a cookie at the same time and missed the gaze. Still, it was rather obvious who was being addressed, and he mumbled his answer into his lap. ‘I’m feeling fine now.’

He wasn’t wearing the mask either, but then again the environment they were in was far more enclosed, and none of them were sick. In school or outside it was always another story: too many people, too many germs, and for someone so sensitive to it all it was a living nightmare. And yet, staying indoors all the time made him feel claustrophobic; not only did the Cat need freedom, but he did as well.

But there was no denying that Koichi was a little pale still, and his eyes a little red. But he was smiling (though it had dimmed a little at the mention of his condition) and he was delicately nibbling the edges of the cookie like he always did. And then Mrs Shibayama came in with more drinks and JP fetched cards and some board games, and the conversation exploded into other matters.

114. Pauses

It was Takuya’s idiotic idea to play truth or dare with the bottle, and the others stayed far away from getting a dare from him. Unfortunately, that gave Takuya a free reign to ask questions they weren’t too thrilled to answer. Like Zoë awkwardly explaining why she’d never made friends before them, JP why he’d used to eat so much chocolate in the past, and Tommy just what TV show he’d been named after.

They got their revenge, piling him with dares that were safe with a parent in the house but no less mortifying to the victim. So far though, the twins had been out of most of the avocation: Koichi’s questions were tentative and innocent and a refreshing change – but a game didn’t get its true thrill until it some drama occurred in it.

And Takuya’s question to Koichi stopped everyone short.

‘What happens to the Cat of the Zodiac?’

Koichi didn’t answer for a bit, but Takuya didn’t take back his question – not like Koji had tried to intercede on Zoë’s behalf. Maybe it was because Koji thought the others deserved to know – and, of course, he already knew the answer.

Koichi wasn’t looking at anyone as he, finally, answered. Flat, unemotional, but an answer. ‘Life imprisonment.’

Koji averted his gaze before anyone could look at him. He could imagine their reactions anyway. Shock, horror, slight pity… It was a mark of how different the cursed Sohmas were, that he had felt nothing when he’d first heard the fate of the Cat.

115. Affront

They play a few more rounds before Koichi suddenly stood. ‘Fresh air,’ was his excuse, and while not necessarily believed, they accepted it and let him part.

A couple of minutes later, Koji went after him. He found the other outside, playing with a cat his own sadness had attracted.

‘I hope no rats come,’ Koji said absentmindedly.

Koichi turned around, but he didn’t seem surprised. ‘You’re blocking the sun.’

It wasn’t rude, but blunt and unexpected… until the obvious reason connected, and Koji had to refrain from hitting himself at the tastelessness of the thought. June wasn’t far at all; their birthdays weren’t far at all, and after the wound be the ending of light, friends and freedom.

Now that he knew Koichi – even though it wasn’t like one brother should know another, far from – it sounded like a horrible thing. Before, it had been like the news on the streets, people being born and dying every minute while most of the world walked on without looking back.

Koichi gave the cat in his lap a hug, feeling its soft warm body and fur against his cheek. Koji just stood silently; there wasn’t much he could say.

‘I thought at first I didn’t want to know you,’ Koichi said suddenly. ‘Any of you, because if I did, having to say goodbye would hurt that much more.’ He laughed. ‘Can’t miss what you never had or something like that. You don’t know how many times I’d almost ask Fuyuno to just lock me up and get it over with.’

‘You can’t!’ Koji cried, before catching himself. ‘I mean, you couldn’t, or didn’t…’

This time the laughter was genuine. ‘I didn’t,’ Koichi said, because part of me kept on hoping something would change. Something that would save me from this without having to fight my twin.’

Koji stared at the back of the other’s head. ‘You’d known,’ he said. ‘You’d known we were twins.’

Koichi nodded into the cat’s fur.

‘But – ‘ Your freedom’s more important. Your life’s more important… and one fight wouldn’t change a thing.

‘It would.’ Koichi hadn’t spoken aloud, but the sentiment was plain on his face. ‘And family, friends… those are more important. At least, I hoped they’d be.’

Chapter Text

116. Run

‘You can fight now,’ Koji said. ‘I’ve got no reason to try and win.’

‘Fuyuno knows full well we’re brothers,’ Koichi countered tiredly. ‘It wouldn’t count. What he wants… is for us to fight until it destroys one or both of us and whatever relationship we share. I don’t want to fight like that; I can’t.’

The why was obvious. But now that they had built it up so much, Koji couldn’t just let it die. ‘Then run away! If Japan’s no good, then to some other country.’

‘Japan is my home,’ Koichi replied, eyes shining. ‘Whatever fate awaits me here, it’s still my home. It’s the same with the Sohma estate; I’m an outcast as the Cat, but it’s still my home as well. I can’t leave it… and what sort of live does someone running away from the world have? At least, in the Room, I’ll still be fed.’

‘That’s too morbid a way to look at things.’ Koji wanted to argue more, but he could see how much thought and courage had gone into his brother’s decision. And he had to admire what it took to say he’d accept a life locked up in a dark room so his ties with his brother, and consequently their friends, wasn’t stained by blood. ‘Fuyuno set this up, knowing you wouldn’t be able to do it.’ But he couldn’t find it in himself to be angry. More defeated, knowing there’s been no hope to begin with.’

Koichi’s shoulders shook as he tried not to cry. ‘What’s going to happen when all these happy moments are gone?’ His voice shook from the sobs buried in his throat. ‘How could I think I could go on living without happiness?’

‘You were happy,’ Koji said, a little awkwardly as he put an arm around his brother and held him close. ‘You were happy with Mum.’

‘But – ‘ Koji felt the first tears touch his neck. ‘I wanted to have friends like this too.’

‘You have us now,’ was all Koji could think to say. ‘And we’ll just have to fill you up with enough happy memories to last you your lifetime.’

Koichi gave a watery laugh at that, but he couldn’t say he minded the idea of dying packed to the brim with happiness.

117. Experience

After the twins came back, the party had gone on without dramatics. They’d played a few board and card games, eaten a lovely dinner cooked by Mrs Shibayama, and watched a few episodes of Gundam Wing before Tommy’s parents arrived to take him home.

Koji’s father came for him, so Mrs Shibayama gave Zoë, Takuya and Koichi a ride, with JP in shotgun. The first part of the car ride was filled with the usual things: idle questions about the party and his friends, which he answered diligently. The next part was passed in silence, as Koji considered the discussion he’d had with his brother.

It w’s impossible to doubt Koichi’s feelings after that… and yet, in his situation, it was so easy to hate the Rat of the Zodiac, or the God who dictated their lives. It was so easy to pour the unfairness into one fight that would earn him his freedom, without thinking of the consequences.

But, to Koichi, that freedom would have been useless because he would have, whether win or lose, destroyed something very important to him. It hadn’t mattered if Koji had remembered or not, because Koichi had, and he had held on to the possibility that they could be a family again.

They could, if he could escape his life-sentence. Except there was nothing he was willing to do that would save him. He couldn’t move, give up, or die, and anything less would see him in that black windowless room for the rest of his life.

118. Fatality

Kousei noted his son shaking. ‘Did something happen?’ he asked in concern.

Koji considered for a moment, before answering: ‘We were talking about the Cat’s imprisonment.’

‘I see,’ Kousei said after a brief pause. ‘What will Koichi do?’

‘He won’t fight.’

Kousei glanced at his son’s reflection in the review mirror. ‘I take it he can’t be convinced otherwise either.’

Koji looked at his father. ‘You don’t sound like you want him to fight.’

Kousei sighed and turned back to the road. ‘I don’t,’ he confessed, ‘because you are both my sons and I don’t want to see you ripped apart by this fighting. It’s bad enough it tore your mother and I apart.’

Koji said nothing, simply listened because his father rarely talked about his previous marriage.

‘We knew we’d lose one or both of you,’ Kousei continued, ‘the moment you turned into the Cat and the Rat in Tomoko’s arms. ‘It was a stressful situation, particularly since the Cat not allowed to live inside the complex, but the Rat must. We argued about what to do. Tomoko wanted to give Koichi the chance to live and choose for himself before the time of imprisonment came – but you can’t send a baby that’s only a few weeks old into the world. Particularly not a Zodiac child. And I…I wanted something that would spare him, and us all, that suffering. No matter how horrible it would have seemed, at least he wouldn’t have to keep on suffering for something outside his control.’

His hands tightened on the steering wheel. ‘I do love you both, and while I could save you from Fuyuno, I couldn’t save him. Tomoko is not of Soma blood, so she can take Koichi out of the complex – but I don’t want the fight and bad blood between your animals to destroy you as people, and I don’t want my son to live in a dark room for the rest of his life.’ They came upon traffic and the car jerked to a stop. ‘There’s nothing else.’

‘He could have run away,’ Koji said quietly, ‘but that’s the same as being imprisoned, in the end.’ Except it wasn’t, except in the sense Koji meant.

119. Helping Hand

Teruo wasn’t surprised to see his cousin, but he was surprised when the other stayed for dinner.

‘I thought Fuyuno summoned you,’ he commented as his mother clattered about in the house and the pair of them sat on the steps.

‘He has,’ Koichi said. ‘I’m not going.’

Teruo stared. ‘You always go!’ he exclaimed. ‘Unless you…’ His voice trailed off.

                ‘No.’ Koichi shook his head. ‘I just don’t want to see him right now.’ He sighed, then added: ‘It’s almost June.’

Teruo stared up at the sun, hanging brighter and closer by the day. ‘You’ve changed,’ he said finally. ‘It seemed like a part of destiny before, but now it just seems sad.’

Koichi gave him a sidelong glance.

Teruo just sighed. ‘I guess I won’t be playing nurse anymore. I dunno… What made you come here then?’

                ‘I don’t know,’ was the reply, though it sounded distant, as if Koichi was thinking about something else. ‘I just wanted to see you, I guess.’

It wasn’t said in jest, or sadness, but it stabbed at Teruo all the same. Because Koichi had said it as though they were true friends, but they weren’t and they both knew that.

But they could have been, if the current relationship between the Cat and the Rat was anything to go by. Teruo hated the Rat by first principles, and he was closest to the Cat for the same reason. But even then, the Cow was above the Cat and he hadn’t thought anything of it – except when Koichi turned around.

                ‘Koji has those eyes too,’ he said. ‘It’s like the principles he’s lived by have suddenly changed their meaning, and it confuses him.’

That summed it up pretty nicely, but with the opposite effect.

                ‘Just go,’ Teruo said, slightly snappishly. He didn’t like it. He didn’t like feeling guilty about pity, because it wasn’t such a bad thing when the other was sick or bleeding and he was patching him up, was it? It wasn’t a bad thing to try and feel like the king of the world, because it was better than being the bottom of the barrel. It was the way to cope with the bad stuff, knowing there was someone worse off. Either that or drowning in pity.

Except Koichi was doing neither right now, and had unintentionally taken away his own little coping mechanism. Because if Koichi didn’t need any patching up, Teruo didn’t really have anything on him. In fact, he was the one being given pity with his cousin dropping by specially to visit him.

Though his message had gotten across and Koichi had left, and Teruo was alone to dwell on his thoughts.

120. Breeze

Koichi goes to the park, because it was always bustling and noisy and none of the Zodiac would go willingly to one at such a time for fear of revealing their Curse.

But Koichi was careful and clever, keeping to the edges and climbing his favourite tree to avoid the crowd. He could hear the wind over the mirage of noises as well, and the quiet storm settled a different kind of storm in his heart.

Truthfully, he was upset with his cousin, despite having no real right to be so. In truth, Teruo was more right then he, because Koichi was breaking family laws and being selfish, but he knew he couldn’t possibly leave what he had now. He didn’t think of what would happen to him, to all of them, once he was in that Dark room. He was sure Fuyuno would wipe their memories of him; he’d threatened to the last time they’d met. And he hated the idea but was a tiny bit grateful as well: grateful they wouldn’t remember a friend they’d never see again.

His breath caught as he realised what he’d thought. A friend. Friends.

Chapter Text

121. Get Up

Teruo didn’t often leave the estate. He didn’t need to. He didn’t attend a co-ed school and the Sohmas owned enough of the area to be self-sufficient.

But Koichi and his mother lived outside the cage. So did Chiaki. And maybe it was the little bit of resentment from the Cow or the bonds of family stretching beyond that, but sometimes he stepped out of the box purely to visit them.

And he hadn’t heard from Koichi for a while. Chiaki said he’d been back at school last he’d spoken with her, so he must be a little better.

And he was. He was a little pale but the dark circles were disappearing from under his eyes and they were no longer burning red.

The apartment was still empty, though. Warm and musky as though he’d rarely been leaving it.

So, of course, the first thing he did was throw open a few windows.

‘You don’t need to,’ Koichi protested.

‘You need to,’ Teruo corrected. ‘What’s happened to curling up in the fresh sunshine?’

‘Nothing.’ His cousin turned away from him at that. ‘It’s just getting too warm is all.’

‘Or is it getting too close to July?’

Koichi said nothing.

‘Are you just going to give up?’

To his surprise, Koichi offers him a small smile. ‘I might be feeling a little melancholic, but I’m not giving up.’

Teruo allowed a small smile of his own. ‘Who uses melancholic in a normal conversation?’

Koichi shrugged. ‘What’s normal, at the end of the day? Sohma or cursed or not, we’re all unique in some way or other.’

122. Villain

There’s more knocks on his door and Koichi lets in the others. There’s no Koji, he noted, and that was a relief considering Teruo was still there and eyeing the others with distrust.

‘This is Teruo,’ he introduced, ignoring the look. ‘My cousin from my father’s side.’

‘Oh.’ Takuya clapped his hands. ‘The cow from the Zodiac, right.’

‘Oh,’ Teruo mimicked. ‘So you know. That’s careless, Kou-chan.’

‘Wasn’t entirely me,’ Koichi replied, disappearing into the kitchen. It was getting too crowded, suddenly. And though he hadn’t said so aloud, Teruo was right. He’d purposely left the curtains drawn and the rooms closed, even though his head spun and his heart hammered in them. And now they were all open but there were six people in a little apartment meant for two, and it was crowded in the wrong way, in a way he didn’t need to get used to after all.

‘So you were thinking it.’ He jumped when Teruo spoke, from behind him. ‘Couldn’t not, huh.’

‘Couldn’t not,’ Koichi agreed. His hands still shook a little as he poured chips into a bowl. ‘But even if I can’t do anything against Fuyuno, even if I can’t fight my brother, I can still win freedom by not losing against captivity.’

Teruo just shook his head. ‘You’ve chosen the hardest path of all.’

‘Don’t I know it. But I couldn’t make any other choice.’ Even though the task only seemed more and more daunting.

The ways to win against life imprisonment… there weren’t many, and they weren’t pretty. He could lose his mind or lose his life, or somehow keep fighting and stay behind bars until old age or the death of a god.

But which cat, even with their fabled nine lives, had ever outlasted a god?

‘Hey.’ Teruo said suddenly. ‘If Fuyuno dies, I’ll break down that door myself and none of the other zodiac members are going to stop me. Promise.’

‘Should you really be wishing for the death of a god?’ Koichi asked wryly, even if he had, sometimes, fleetingly, wished for the same thing himself.

‘Hey. Next to the cat, the cow has the most reason to hate him. But it’s not just that. You’re my cousin, after all.’

‘Umm…’ Tommy’s voice behind them made Koichi jump again. ‘What are you two talking about?’

Teruo snatched the bowl and squeezed past Tommy into the main room. ‘Ask Koichi later.’

‘Teruo,’ Koichi snapped.

Teruo just picked out a chip and munched on it, and apparently Tommy didn’t feel confident enough to push the matter after that.

123. Worst Day

There was an awkward air in the room, after that. They ate chips and Koichi shivered in the spring air. It wasn’t particularly cool – rather, it was warm by spring standards. But his skin was crawling, and the fever that had seeped into his bones was still there.

And there were too many things the others only half-knew. Like the monsterous form the cat. Like the life imprisonment that awaited him. They’d seen. They’d asked. But he’d gotten away with half-truths and sporadic answers and the passing seasons and flurry of activities and him being sick again had distracted them.

Perhaps they’d learnt. Perhaps they didn’t want to step too close.

Or perhaps they were just waiting until he’d recovered a little more.

He could see it in their gazes, now. The way they carefully side-stepped his cousin. They wanted answers, and maybe they’d even come today with that intention and had been thwarted.

In that case, he was grateful to Teruo’s presence.

He was grateful anyway, even if they could never pretend there wasn’t a hierarchy within the Zodiac between them.

And, when his mother came home early, he couldn’t help but be grateful that Koji wasn’t here. She’d met Zoe, but meeting Koji again would be another thing. Even though she knew. Even though he didn’t. He just knew that, as the rat, he was the key that bolted the door shut.

Koichi froze when someone knocked, again, on the door.

It can’t be.

‘Oh,’ said Takuya, ‘that must be –‘

Even Teruo looked a little alarmed now.

The others looked confused. So did Tomoko, going to answer the door. ‘I didn’t realise you were waiting on someone –‘

She pushes the door open and freezes. ‘Koji,’ she says eventually, audibly fighting to keep her voice even.

Koji, in comparison, fails spectacularly. ‘M-mum? B-but you – you’re…’

The others stare at each other. ‘But isn’t his mother…’ JP began, but is interrupted by the others quickly shushing him to listen to the door.

Finally, he gets the word out, and even the pair of cousins are caught unaware.

‘…dead.’

124. Bewitching

Koji had noticed, early on of course, the absence of a mother in his life. Later, it was Satomi, one of the house-keepers from a lesser branch of the Sohma family, filling in that spot, but at the beginning it had been him and his father and the distant faces of house maids.

And Fuyuno and the other Zodiac, of course.

Though when he said other, they were always three short. Later, it became four when Chiaki left as well. He only knew bits and pieces of what had happened there, but there’d been a huge fight and blood. He knew that much. And he knew that, despite all that, Chiaki came like clockwork to each new year’s celebration, and other summons as well.

So did the cat of the zodiac, though the others rarely crossed paths with him.

But their generation had no bird, still, and perhaps now it was too late for one; Fuyuno was a young adult already, and he couldn’t have many more years left. And the dog – Shokan – there were only whispers of him now. There’d been more, when Chiaki had left… when some of the lesser branches had whispered that she’d only been allowed to leave to prevent a second suicide amongst them.

But his mother had been an outsider. He’d known that from the beginning, or thereabouts. Even his father, who’d always develop this sad and melancholic look when the topic came up, rarely spoke about her. For him, it could have been said it was grief, but the others whispered behind his back like his mother had been something to be ashamed of. The few photos they had tucked away said little more: just her appearance –

And now she was standing here, before her, and he wondered how he could have misunderstood so badly, who it was who’d told him she was dead when she wasn’t, or maybe this was somebody else after all…

Except she said his name. She knew who he was. And maybe Koichi had mentioned something to her or maybe he hadn’t.

Koichi who lived with his single mother.

Koichi who was the cat of the Zodiac.

And maybe that was why, all in all.

125. Jubilant

Koji, caught in his own thoughts, was off-guard by the hug.

Luckily, one of the others had the sense of mind to pull them both inside and shut the door, so no-one else had to see the spectacle. His mother was crying, anyway; whether she’d even noticed she was hugging a rat now instead of a human or whether she didn’t care.

If she did this all the time with Koichi, maybe she didn’t care.

And speaking of Koichi… Koji looked around at the gaping faces. Teruo was here too, which was a surprise of a different sort, and he looked both uncomfortable and a little mad. ‘I’m leaving,’ he said, a little too loudly.

Not that anyone was really listening to him, though. Only Koichi was, standing a little back, and he nodded. ‘Thanks for coming.’

‘Sure.’ And with that he slipped through the door and closed it firmly behind him.

The others stayed, though. Takuya and Tommy and JP and Zoe. Stayed until they shoed each other into the main room.

Koichi, though, remained where he was standing. Waited until Tomoko let go and Koji had, somewhat awkwardly, redressed himself into his scattered clothes.

‘You knew,’ he said, finally, and somewhat accusatory.

‘I didn’t want to fight,’ Koichi replied. And, maybe to him, it was as simple as that, because they were brothers – twins – and the Ultimum was win against the rat or face a life-long imprisonment.

But Koji’s mind was racing, now. It was too full: with his mother right in front of him, with a new spin on the relationship between the cat and the rat, with July now looming, even more cruelly, above their heads.

‘We need to talk,’ he muttered, and mother and son nodded. ‘But not right now.’

Because then this moment will have vanished, like a dream.

Chapter Text

126. Languid

Their reunion seemed to accelerate the flow of time. All too soon, true summer was upon them. School was about to break, and Koichi carefully cleaned out his locker because he knew he wouldn’t be going back.

‘What are you doing?’

He turned. Katsuharu’s voice wasn’t all that familiar to him. Their meetings had been, after all, sporadic at best. There’d been that incident with Tommy, then the incident with his inhaler as a sort of revenge that had backfired and somehow dragged Takuya into it as well…

He felt for his pocket, where his inhaler sat: a familiar, comforting weight.

‘What are you doing?’ the older boy repeated, voice a mix between irritation and worry.

‘Cleaning out my locker,’ Koichi replied, bemused.

‘You moving somewhere?’

Why did he care? Koichi wondered.

When Katsuharu reached for one of the few books remaining in the locker, he stood abruptly, blocking the other’s path.

‘I’d rather,’ he said, ‘you didn’t touch my things.’

Because they were his things: that his mother had brought with her hard-earned money, even though she knew that, in the end, it would be a wasted effort. ‘It wasn’t wasted if you use and enjoy them,’ she said. And they were his for that very reason.

‘Or what?’ But Katsuharu withdrew his hand. It curled into a fist, then relaxed again. ‘You didn’t flinch.’

‘Some things are more important.’ Koichi took the rest of the books from his locker and shut it firmly. ‘In my case, though, it’s because sometimes that’s the only small victory you can get.’

The other grabbed his arm when he made to leave, and suddenly, Katsuharu’s face is worried, completely foreign. ‘Is something going on at home?’

‘My parents?’ Koichi asked. ‘No.’ But he looked at Katsuharu’s face and knew. ‘You’re not so different, are you? Surrounded by people but still lonely.’

Because, in that moment, he was reminded of Fuyuno, lying in the shade of the porch while watching the other Zodiac members in the courtyard. Even he would be there, sometimes with Teruo, sometimes just talking quietly with his father, most of the time well apart from the rest and filling his belly even knowing he’d probably throw it all up later. But Fuyuno didn’t have even that. He’d watch them all, jealous and alone. And then he’d summon them one by one, least favoured to most, and those would ease the stings.

And he’d find himself feeling bitter too, by the end of it, as no doubt Fuyuno intended year after year. Bitter and more than a little broken inside.

But, he knew, Fuyuno was more than a little broken inside as well. And just as human as a boy who demanded attention because nobody gave it to him at home.

‘I have friends,’ Katsuharu said, letting go. ‘I have family too, even if they get lost amongst themselves sometimes.’ He rubbed his arm. ‘Took crashing Mum’s care to realise that, somehow.’

‘Why are you telling me all this?’ Koichi asked. He didn’t rub his own arm; Katsuharu hadn’t held on so tightly at all.

Katsuharu shrugged. ‘Just wanted to say sorry, I guess. I got the sudden feeling I was about to miss my chance.’ He eyed the backpack. ‘We keep our lockers all year round, you know.’

‘I know.’ And what to say to someone who was virtually a stranger? ‘I just prefer to have my things more accessible than in a locker at school when I’m away.’

‘Not planning on coming to summer school or clubs, then.’

‘No.’ And it was more than that. Technically, he wasn’t planning on coming back at all.

127. Obsessive

Zoe realised, somewhere along the way, that they’d never discussed what had happened when Koichi had dropped his juzu beads. She’d never really gotten a good opportunity either, once they’d finished their pair assignment. There was always someone else around, or something else happening… and that was usually a good thing, but the way he’d looked, he’d smelled, he’d seemed…

There was something deeper to the curse that he hadn’t told them about, still.

And then there was how closed off he was. Koji had been the same, when they’d first met, but he’d started opening up and he’d only continued opening up since. In comparison, Koichi seemed to have hit a wall and bounced backwards. For no apparent reason he’d get a faraway look in his eyes. And while he didn’t bar them from his apartment or shun them at school, he’d stopped accepting their invitations to hang out in between.

Nothing had happened at JP’s birthday, she’d thought. But nothing had also happened since.

But there was something, regardless. And maybe it didn’t have to do with the past at all, but the future.

That was Tommy’s idea. When he mentioned what he’d heard the two cousins talking about in the kitchen. ‘I mean, I don’t really understand it, but they were saying something about being locked up…’

And Koji refused to answer. As had Teruo. ‘Ask Koichi,’ Teruo had said. ‘You’re better off not knowing,’ was Koichi’s response.

But they were friends and they couldn’t let it go. After all, they’d been told the same thing about the Zodiac curse.

128. Recoil

‘Why?’ Koichi asked, when Zoe brought up the question.

Koji, somewhat against his better judgement, was there as well. He had to admit he was curious – both about what his newfound twin would say, and also about the other form of the cat. Though he also knew he wasn’t being fair, that they weren’t being fair… and they could dress it up in pretty sentiments like friendship or overcoming the curse but what would any of that mean to Koichi in a few weeks?

But the gauntlet was thrown, and at least Takuya had a better answer at ready than Koji’s one. ‘Because we’ve only got bits and pieces and half-truths,’ he said, ‘and that shouldn’t get in the way of our friendship. Zoe’s already seen but she’s had no explanation. And explaining things would get it off your chest as well, wouldn’t it? I mean, what else has been bugging you lately?’

Well, the answer to that was obvious to Koji – and any other Zodiac member. ‘It’s almost July.’

‘Well, yeah, but I thought cats like the summer.’

Koichi snorted. ‘Ironic, isn’t it? I wonder if some god of the past chose that date on purpose or if it’s just a coincidence.’

And, again, that only made sense to Koji.

But they looked so earnest anyway. And they hadn’t recoiled when they’d turned into animals in front of them.

‘Have faith in us,’ said Takuya.

‘It’s not that.’ Koichi turned away, playing with his beads again, as he did when he was nervous. ‘There’s no point in you knowing all the details. Our time together is nearly up anyway.’

But maybe there was something in his own statement that made him reconsider. Because he slipped off the beads in one quick, purposeful motion.

And the others stared agape at the hulking, decaying monster that stood in his place.

129. Vehement

So that was the culmination of their hatred and envy, Koji thought. The physical manifestation of their curse. They came off as rather cutesy animals most of the time, but this…

He had to try very hard not to gag at the smell.

The beast staggered away from them. In another motion, it slipped the juzu beads around a wrist and shrunk. In seconds, it was Koichi huddled in on himself, clutching the juzu beads tight with the other hand and breathing deep. Whether he’d meant to wind up facing away from them or not was anyone’s guess.

‘And there you have it,’ he whispered, finally, barely audible.

‘Didn’t explain a thing,’ Takuya said strongly, and that made five surprised heads turn his way. ‘What? I’m sure we asked why, not what.’

JP snorted. ‘Only you… though it is true. That was a bit of a shock, but why is it only you out of the Zodiac members who comes with an in built defence mechanism?’

Now the twins stared at JP.

And Tommy took over. ‘Well, if there was someone you really wanted to scare off, you could just take your beads off…’

‘I think Fuyuno would have something to say about that,’ Koji muttered.

‘He’d have something to say regardless.’ But Koichi had a small smile on his face, even though his eyes were watering. ‘Well, that backfired spectacularly though.’

Koji frowned at him. ‘Did you really think you could scare them away?’

‘Fuyuno always said this form would do that.’ Koichi rubbed his eyes, and Koji knelt next to him and offered an embrace.

‘Silly,’ he said, a little affectionately. ‘I’m sure they’ll find a way to sneak into the compound too.’

‘They shouldn’t. They’ll get in trouble.’ And Koichi buried his head into the other’s chest, shoulders shaking.

‘Hey, if that’s what we have to do to keep being friends with you,’ Zoe shrugged, then stared. ‘Koichi?’

130. Collide

It took a while for the twins to calm down and explain things, but eventually they managed it.

And their little group of friends was unusually but expectedly sombre by the end of it.

‘But that’s not fair!’ Takuya exploded, finally. ‘I mean, what does anybody get out of that? Your head can’t be that petty that he’d think about where the cat is locked up every second of the day, so that just makes it one big waste.’

‘And to ask two brothers to fight to the death to avoid that?’ Zoe’s eyes were brimming with tears. ‘I mean, I couldn’t have blamed Koichi for trying if he did, but that’s just too cruel.’

‘The problem is that Fuyuno won’t accept anything less than a serious match, so it’d be a job to fool him and come out of it with both of us intact,’ Koji sighed. It had taken a while to understand, and to come to terms with it all. And the more he’d understood of his parents’ decision, the worse he felt. And the more he cursed their bloodline and their curse. ‘Our parents had known, from the moment we were born, that we could never live together.’

‘Mum went as far as she could,’ Koichi continued quietly, ‘but she couldn’t leave Dad and Koji completely. And she tried to send me away, still, when I grew older, but I suppose I’d inherited that from her. Maybe, on the other side of the world, there was a place to escape a god’s reach. But that’s just as much a prison as the cat’s room.’

‘I don’t get it,’ JP said honestly. ‘I mean, if you’re going to be locked up in a tiny room, isn’t it better to go far away?’

Koichi shook his head. ‘Physically, perhaps, but mentally that’s accepting defeat. And the only way this is bearable is to fight it, because it’s not fair and there’s nothing I can do to convince myself it is. I’ve tried.’ He closed his eyes and leaned back. The sun’s glare still burnt through his lids. ‘The cat is the physical and mental punching bag amongst the Zodiac. And fighting back physically would mean I’d only be hurt more, but on the mental side of things… they’d never know what sort of wars I waged in my head, I thought. If I could save my will to not give in, if nothing else, then there was a battle I was winning.’

‘Sheer stubborn will, huh,’ Takuya sighed. ‘Sounds like something I’d tell my mother if I could find the words, but whatever keeps you fighting, I guess. But then what? You live the rest of your life in a cage with people only jeering at you? That stinks. We can visit, at least, right?’

‘We’ll have to sneak in,’ Koji said.

‘Don’t encourage them!’ Koichi exclaimed.

‘Oh, I will, and you look forward to it.’

He scolded his brother, but there was a small smile on his face anyway.

Chapter Text

The Curse of the Cat

131. On My Mind

The twins sat: one on a low branch, the other below the shade of the tree. They’d left the others elsewhere in the park, or they’d left them. That awkward air that hung around them… Maybe it was time to sort out their own thoughts, their own feelings, before the door to opportunity clamped down.

‘Why didn’t you say?’ Koji asked, eventually.

‘I wasn’t even sure you didn’t know,’ Koichi replied, though in part it was more an excuse than a reason. ‘I mentioned it more than once before.’

And Koji, thinking back, realise the other had: casually, unsuspectingly, and he’d let those words brush him by. ‘I don’t know what I was thinking,’ he confessed. ‘Maybe I thought you meant family in a more general sense. All the members of the Zodiac are related, after all. And the cat and the rat’s is most temperamental, amongst them. Or maybe I just hadn’t been paying enough attention to note the exact words.’

They fell silent again. Koji looked up. Koichi looked up too: skyward, where the leaves and branches parted.

‘We wound up wasting a lot of time.’

‘We did.’

And now there was less than a month left.

132. Mirror

Koichi looked down. It was strange, still, seeing how similar his brother’s face looked… and how different. ‘Do you think Fuyuno will allow this?’

‘Allow…’ And then Koji caught on. ‘Can he do that, though. Erase our memories, as members of the Zodiac?’

‘Possibly.’ Koichi wasn’t sure himself. ‘But he certainly can erase the others. And that power… isn’t it just hypnosis, at the end of the day. Nothing inexplicable like our curse… but a curse all the same.’

‘Maybe.’ Koji frowned. And it was petty enough that a young god-like figure would pursue it, however… ‘If he could, wouldn’t he have just kept Chiaki around?’

‘I wonder…’ Koichi hadn’t thought of that himself. ‘Maybe memories and emotions aren’t so closely tied together.’

‘Then I don’t think you’ll need to worry.’ Koji, this time, was forcing his smile… but there was a sliver of hope to hang on to regardless. ‘If Fuyuno does erase our memories of you, they’ll probably gravitate towards me again. And family love, a mother’s love… no way hypnosis is going to win over that.’

‘That’s a lot of faith to put in bonds.’ Then Koichi smiled. ‘Sounds like just the kind of thing I’m game to bet on.’

Though, the reality was he had very little choice. He could either hope or despair; it was as simple as that.

133. Kneel

There were twelve animals at the banquet, the cat who’d been shut outside, and then the god. But even amongst the twelve, there was a hierarchy and that hierarchy was a double-edged sword. Because by pushing to the front of the line, the rat had resigned itself to a life of grovelling at the feet of that god, and by being the unwitting mule to carry said rat, the cow had a resentment that continued for years to come.

And then amongst the faster animals: the horse, the dragon, the rooster, the dog and the boar… they’d lost the race to a lumbering cow. And the snake had slithered amongst all those feet, prevailing itself to a life on the ground, alternating between grovelling and dodging and attempting to not get crushed.

And even a dog’s undying loyalty was bitterly tested.

It was ironic that, in their generation, there was no rooster to give them a wake up call. It was ironic that, in their generation, it was the dog who’d died first, who’d chosen death instead of a life with the curse.

And when the twins thought about it, they could not recall a time where it had been anyone other than the cat who’d died before the god. That told them little, though. Only the tales of the cats of the Sohma family were well known amongst the Zodiac. If there was any deficiency in the others, it was tucked away and hidden. Only the cats… and, in outside circles, the god: the public figurehead of the Sohma family. Always physically weak, always ill, yet always imposing and ruling with an iron fist that never seemed to relax even after they were gone.

It was a curse that had plagued their family for generations, and they knew nothing about how to break it, about how they might set themselves free of it and all the concessions they gained were fleeting and temporary…

And, all the way, the clock continued ticking towards the end.

134. Locked

Some grew old in the cage. Once, it was a brittle cage of bamboo. It had been preserved, even though now it was more a locked room than a cage, made of sturdy enough walls that their screams couldn’t be heard outside.

Koichi knew this well. Even Koji knew this a little, for while it lay vacant, it was also the punishment room for any disobedient zodiac child. They’d all learnt to fear the room: fear its windowless walls and the musty smell of dried blood that always seemed to be in there.

The last cat had died young and horribly. Went mad in its cage and clawed at himself until infection claimed him. And all that knowledge served was exacerbate the fear and the despair. But there’d been cats that had died old as well, and sometimes they’d spared an entire generation their misfortune.

That went true for all the zodiac members, but the cats were the most vulnerable and also the safest.

But, Koichi knew, it must have taken a person of unimaginable mental fortitude to live in a locked room until old age, even if the bars then had slightly parted and allowed the sun to sneak in.

135. Punch

Koichi nearly fell out of the tree when Koji punched the trunk.

‘Sorry,’ the other muttered, after, but Koichi neatly jumped down anyway. ‘I just wish there was a way around it.’

‘There are plenty of ways around it.’ And maybe it was unnecessary flippant of him, but he shrugged those ideas away. ‘Don’t you think Mum and I haven’t thought this through? It’s not worth the trouble it will cause for everybody else.’

‘Doesn’t mean you need to sacrifice yourself for it,’ Koji snapped.

‘I’m not sacrificing you,’ Koichi snapped back.

Koji felt silent at that, because what else could he say. They couldn’t run away, either, because the curse would follow them and Fuyuno likely had enough resources at his disposal to follow them as well.

‘You said you’ll sneak in,’ Koichi said, eventually.

‘Easy enough,’ Koji replied, with a bravado he didn’t quite feel. ‘I live in the compound, after all. And I really don’t think hypnosis has the power to remove us from each other’s lives. If it could, Fuyuno could have made us all be what he wanted without any arguments or hassles. We wouldn’t have conflicts, or tragedies. We wouldn’t need the hierarchy. We wouldn’t long for a life outside of the compound.’

‘Or that’s just the illusion of free will.’

And they had no way of knowing, really, which one of those it was.

Chapter Text

The Curse of the Cat

136. Tight

The others were so used to Koichi being available that he threw them for a loop when he said he already had plans. ‘I’m visiting my cousin,’ he explained.

Koji was the one who elaborated. ‘Teruo?’

He nodded.

‘That guy who was over at your house when we came over?’ Tommy checked.

Koichi nodded again. ‘We haven’t really talked since, and things wound up quite… awkward for him.’

‘I guess so. I mean, it was a little awkward for us too.’ JP shrugged. ‘But there’s not enough time to wallow – oww!’ He stopped and glared at Zoe, who’d elbowed him in the ribs. ‘Hey, there’s never enough time, right? Humans used to leave for thousands of years and now the average lifespan’s less than a hundred.’

The others weren’t paying attention to that segway anyway. The twins had their own little conversation going on.

‘But Teruo lives in the compound.’

‘So do you. And it’ll be fine. I’m not going to Fuyuno.’

‘Even if he calls you?’

Koichi was silent for a moment. ‘Even if he calls,’ he said finally. ‘I mean, there’s no time now. I don’t want to waste it…’ His eyes grew distant, like he was thinking about something else. ‘I wasted a lot of time like that. That endless cycle of seeing him, getting sick or injured, recovering, and then starting the process again. It seemed endless, and now… there’s no time left.’

They watched the uncomfortable, suffocating, silence sitting atop the two.

‘Hey,’ Takuya said suddenly. ‘We’ll tag along to.’

The twins looked at each other.

‘Not to Teruo’s,’ Koichi said. ‘He won’t be happy.’

‘Then they can come to mine,’ Koji shrugged. ‘Dad won’t mind. But if we’re doing this, can we try to avoid getting caught by Fuyuno all around?’

‘I didn’t want to get caught by him anyway,’ Koichi pointed out.

Tommy giggled, and the others stared at him in surprise. ‘It feels like we’re sneaking around. This’ll be fun.’

They could only hope it would be fun.’

137. Urban

The others gawked at the Sohma estate. Koji had called ahead so his father picked them up from the gate, and having the company masked by the presence of a familiar adult helped them slip by the others.

Still, he hurried them indoors as soon as possible… with one detour. Koji had, after parting from his twin, whispered the request to his father and he’d agreed easily enough. The room where the cat would be housed… The others needed to know it, if they were serious about sneaking in. How they’d sneak in was another matter, but there’d be plenty of time to explore that.

Sneaking towards the room would be a different matter for the rest of them.

And then, before they could react, they followed Kousei as though he was just leading them past and into their modest house in the complex.

And they couldn’t fully appreciate it, first off, because their heads were stuffed full by that cold, sealed up room. But they were good friends, because their minds went from horror to planning. Was there any way to sneak things into the room? How tightly would the room even be monitored? How much could be taken in there? How often would meals come and would that be a way in? How thin or thick were the walls? Could they talk through it? And where could they hide so they weren’t immediately visible to everybody else in the compound.

And Koji worried, because Fuyuno seemed to have eyes and ears everywhere and could so very easily put a stop to this… but at the same time, weren’t there things stronger than curses, stronger than angry gods playing human?

He’d told his brother to believe in that. He had to believe in that as well.

138. Health

Despite having called ahead, Teruo was surprised to see Koichi. ‘Fuyuno didn’t call you,’ he fussed.

The other shook his head. ‘I came to see you. We didn’t really talk last time.’

‘I could have come.’ But he ushered his cousin in anyway, and closed the door. ‘Why are you coming to the compound so close to July?’

‘Maybe it’s because it’s close to July,’ Koichi replied, sitting at an empty seat at the table. ‘Aunty’s not home?’

‘She’s out all day,’ Teruo replied. ‘And unlike your mother, her schedule’s more predictable.’

‘It was bound to come out eventually.’ Koichi sighed. ‘I wasn’t really clear on whether Koji knew the whole story or not at the time. He hadn’t been really clear either, but turned out it was because he just hadn’t been paying enough attention to the individual words.’

‘Apparently, humans only register the first and last words or phrases to a sentence and our minds just fill in the blanks.’ Teruo shrugged. ‘Sounded like a pile of pile dung to me.’

Then he sat down as well, with a plate of dumplings to share between them and two glasses of juice.

Koichi stared at the plate for a moment.

Teruo sighed. ‘Yeah, I cooked. And no telling anyone else about this.’

‘Who would I tell?’ Koichi half-smiled. ‘Thank you.’

‘Yeah, yeah,’ Teruo waved a hand. ‘I can cook when I want to. Don’t know why I bothered to learn though. It’s not like I have the gumption to live outside the compound like you two. Or march back in without fear of punishment.’

‘We come back because we’re afraid of the punishment if we don’t,’ Koichi pointed out. ‘Chiaki and I don’t talk much, but it’s the same for her. Just as Fuyuno allows us to live outside the compound, he can drag us back.’

‘In your case, that’s a given, though. You could have pushed the boundaries far harder.’

‘And lost this pocket of time.’ He grips the chopsticks tightly enough to creak. ‘I’ve lost so much of it already, anyway. But was there a way to avoid that? Less injuries, less time being sick… and in return, accelerating the timeline?’

‘Maybe not.’ But maybe so, as well. Who knew? Chiaki had played her cards well but what cards did Koichi even have to play.

‘And it was my mother who’d begged for this time. I couldn’t do anything to risk that.’

139. Older

‘It’s hard to believe we’re sixteen,’ Teruo said suddenly. ‘I feel like I haven’t grown at all.’

Koichi looked at him curiously.

‘I mean, what’s really changed? I do what I’ve always done. Go to an all boy’s school. Occasionally visit you and Chiaki. Do all the duties expected of me as a member of the Sohma household. Will probably wind up going into hospitality like has been set up for me.’

‘Hospitality,’ Koichi repeated. He reconsidered the dumplings, still steaming.

‘Well, the cow’s not one of the more revered members of the Zodiac,’ Teruo shrugged. ‘Given they’re not going to give the cat the light of day, they’ll need someone in a subservient position. And maybe that’s why it’s all timed the way it is, as well. Shutting the doors to adulthood, as it were.’

‘I didn’t realise,’ Koichi admitted.

‘Not much you can do anyway,’ Teruo shrugged. ‘Unless you find a way of slipping the cage that won’t put a noose around somebody else’s neck – because that’s your problem, isn’t it? There are plenty of ways of avoiding it, but all of them involve throwing someone else under the bus instead.’

‘I wouldn’t say plenty.’ But Teruo was right, otherwise.

‘And the ordinary people think sixteen’s a difficult age. They don’t even know the half of it.’

140. Vital

‘Where is that gaggle of friends?’

‘At Koji’s. And they started off being his friends, for the most part.’

Teruo shrugged. ‘It’s much the same now, isn’t it. And what do they know?’

‘Most of it, as far as Koji and I are concerned anyway.’ And how they’d both tried to hide and avoid it. Hadn’t worked at all.

Teruo raised an eyebrow. Koichi gave a summarised version of the tale.

‘Guess that’s why we don’t go to co-ed schools,’ he sighed. ‘You’re both lucky he didn’t just erase her memory.’

‘It was the same girl twice.’ And honestly, neither of them had any clue why either. ‘That’s not stopping him from erasing them now, though.’

Teruo paused, last dumpling halfway to his mouth. ‘Why would he?’

Koichi shrugged. Maybe that was his own paranoia, or the looming deadline, making him think as such. But… ‘good things don’t last forever.’

‘I’d like to say bad things don’t, either, but…’

But what cat had been set free?

And what member of the zodiac had been released from their curse?

Chapter Text

The Curse of the Cat

141. Dawn

Perhaps it’s the sombre thoughts occupying their minds, but they fall into a silence that’s ironically comfortable. They move onto the porch at some point, which wasn’t the smartest idea but neither of them really cared. If Fuyuno walked past… well, he had nearly a month left and it wasn’t as though he’d been barred from the compound.

Fuyuno could have opened more doors than he did. He could have also closed more doors than he did. And they’d all often wondered: what was it they all wondered? Surely resentment wasn’t so strong… but they all said that while seeped in their own resentment.

‘What do you think?’ Koichi asked, suddenly. ‘Why does the curse go on? Are gods really so vengeful that they’ll keep an old legend alive in a secret curse but leave the rest of humanity loose?’

‘Their sins are modern, huh.’ Teruo snorted. ‘I doubt it. My bet is some god just forgot he’d pulled that stunt. There’s too many of us to keep track of, I guess.’

‘That’s not much of a god.’ Koichi frowned. ‘I mean, shouldn’t the very definition of a god be something or someone who is able to observe and manage the world, including the people and other species in it?’

Teruo shrugged again. ‘Random chaos versus a careful script, huh. If I choose random chaos, there’s a chance somewhere that the curse will just… break.’

‘Will it?’ Koichi asked. ‘I mean, the physical aspect might, but we grew up in it. Do you think you’ll ever let go of the hierarchy, the goals?’

Teruo closed his eyes. ‘I wish I could say yes,’ he admitted, ‘but if I could have said that, I’d have said “fuck you” with Fuyuno and tried to work out what I wanted of my life.”

142. Lust

Being out of school was strange, for Chiaki. She wasn’t big on the family scene, particularly with her extended family, but she couldn’t deny she missed being part of a crowd. It only worked, of course, because she avoided most males and managed to escape being hugged by one in class. It only worked because few people knew she was a Sohma, and neither Koichi nor Koji were going to sell her out. And she didn’t mind either of them – and she minded Koichi less so than his more docile brother even if most of the school didn’t know they were brothers and thought Koichi was the more docile of the two.

But she knew better. Knew why Koichi didn’t bother fighting back and it was effective in its own way, as it had always been. And she knows that if, like her, he’d pushed in slightly the wrong direction, Fuyuno might have broken as well… but then again, he was the cat. If there was anywhere Fuyuno was going to stand strong, it was there.

But Fuyuno wasn’t strong. She learnt that when the dog escaped his cage. She learnt that when she slipped her own harness. And she’d been drunk on the idea of freedom that the price if she’d failed her gamble hadn’t mattered. Now, it does, if only because she’s now drunk on life, on the tentative freedom she has… and that’s introduced a fear she hadn’t had before. She couldn’t toe further out of line because she couldn’t risk losing what she had.

And surely no-one’s so crushed that they can give up that freedom without fighting an inch. Not even the cat of the Zodiac who’d been done in by that inch.

143. Memorial

For some reason, his father had a photo album out.

His friends and brother had left earlier. The house – the compound – seemed eerily silent after they left, and his footsteps seemed louder. He wasn’t sure why; maybe he’d psyched himself out earlier talking about Fuyuno and hypnosis and the cat’s impending imprisonment, or maybe his friends just had that much of a presence.

And maybe it was that, in part. More likely it was the days drawing ever longer and the timeline ever shorter. And maybe it was because they all knew the full story now, and there was no reason to hide behind closed doors any longer.

But he had the photo album out. And Koji found himself drawn to photos he couldn’t even recall. His father holding two babies. His mother holding a cat and a rat… and he wondered if that was the moment that had sealed their fates, but he didn’t ask. His father didn’t say, either. Just looked at the face of a woman who could still have love in her eyes. Who, sixteen years later, still had love in her eyes.

And then there were earlier pictures, without babies. Some with a baby bump. Some from even before that. Wedding photos. College photos. Some familiar faces. Many unfamiliar faces. The way his mother never did seem to fit in.

Even a few where his father sprouted almost-well hidden bruises and cuts… but Koji knew what to look for now. Every zodiac member (and several outside of it) knew what to look for. It didn’t take a zodiac generation for an iron hand to rule their family, after all. It was money and prestige and whatever vice grip had seized them and hadn’t let go.

144. Pretend

The later photo albums, when Koji looked at them later, had only photos of him and his father, and a few of the extended family. None of his mother or Koichi. And maybe that was why it was so easy to pretend, when lies fed the truth and truth fed the lies. Absence was hard to conceal but easy to embellish, after all, and after a while it was no longer necessary to embellish it. No extended family member would talk about his mother. And no-one willingly talked about the cat except in scorn.

Koji wondered when that had changed. It must have been somewhere, gradually. But Teruo had always been more pitying than scorning, to the point where he’d sometimes wind up with his own collection of bruises by stepping in. But, others would comment, Fuyuno usually turned a blind eye because it wouldn’t do for the cat to die prematurely. Who would be their punching bag then?

And wasn’t that just too cruel, even before he’d known who the cat really was? Because they’d all known he was human, but they’d gone along with it, at least a little, anyway.

Maybe it was easier not to fight, at first. But the more they knew, the more they realised they couldn’t accept things so blindly anymore. Likewise, they couldn’t act so blindly. And if only it was a time where he could hide under the floorboard and threaten to never come out unless he got his way, or whack Fuyuno over the head with his wooden sword or guitar and think that would change something…

Except it won’t. They’re almost adults now and that wasn’t an adult solution, not at all. Even if one generation escaped, the next was doomed… and where could one even begin when hope had drained away generations ago?

145. Zeal

Chiaki sometimes saw Teruo outside the compound, as well. Not often, because he didn’t go to the same school as them, but sometimes. Usually visiting his aunt and cousin, presumably. And she certainly hadn’t been planning to do the same.

She’d only gone out for fresh air. And maybe that was why here was here, as well. Parks were funny like that. Owned by the government, and so one of the things technically outside the realm of the Sohma’s influence. And wasn’t it lovely there were places like that, places where she could breathe without having to worry about disturbing the fragile balance of her freedom.

And at least she didn’t have a time limit set in stone.

And maybe she should walk past, but she didn’t. She stayed until Teruo saw her, until Teruo made his way over and stood awkwardly in front of her. ‘It’s been a while.’

‘It has,’ she agreed. ‘The New Year Party, wasn’t it.’

‘Party,’ Teruo repeated, in a tone that suggested it was anything but. And, honestly, she agreed. It was a stuffy parade was what it was, but it was one of the concessions she’d made to not push her luck. ‘There won’t be much, after.’

‘Meaning it’s almost June, I imagine.’ She tried to carelessly toss those words, but it didn’t work. ‘Isn’t that a little hypocritical?’

‘Of all of us, I guess.’ He looked genuinely miserable but she knew better. She knew that people could pity someone less fortunate, but no-one would claim the heavy weight of another’s misfortunes willingly and without regret and resentment afterwards. ‘Even Koichi.’

‘Really?’ she raised an eyebrow at that. ‘Is that idiot being self-sacrificial again?’ How could someone do that; she just didn’t understand. Or maybe it was he who didn’t understand. Yes, he didn’t fight Fuyuno but wasn’t that just him sparing himself more punishment? But then, she thought, could she argue the same for his behaviour at school?

Teruo made another uncomfortable shrug. ‘He says he can’t fight his brother.’

‘Guess not.’ And maybe that’s the clincher, here.

‘Says he’s fighting mentally, anyway. That the victory there will mean something. But will it? I mean, some cats live long lives, but can he really do it? He’s always sick, or hurt… but maybe that made him strong in his own way. I don’t know.’

‘Don’t think I will,’ said Chiaki. ‘I probably know him the list, and that includes the little brother with blinders on.’

And why was she still here? Why was she talking about this? She could have escaped with only sparing thoughts until June was passed, occasionally noticed his absence in the halls…

No, she couldn’t. Who was she even trying to kid? She took too much notice of the small sliver of family she had outside of the compound, even if she’d never made something of it.

Chapter Text

The Curse of the Cat

146. Disaster

 Shinya could sit quietly and play a video game… assuming Takuya hadn’t gotten to the consoles first. But Takuya was never the sort to sit still and this summer holidays, he was more restless than ever.

He knew why, of course. But he was trying not to dwell.

That was impossible, of course, especially when he had his own little brother at home.

‘What?’ Shinya asked, lying on his stomach still. ‘It’s still my turn.’

‘I know,’ Takuya sighed. And it was their usual routine, easy and carefree. He sighed.

‘It’s not the end of the world.’ Shinya, to his surprise, set down the remote. ‘What is it?’

‘Nothing.’

‘It’s not nothing.’ He changed the game, then connected the second console. ‘Come on.’

Takuya didn’t move, at first. It wasn’t as simple a fix as that.

Then again, Shinya barely knew his friends. He might not even notice if they were one short either.

But Takuya knew. And he couldn’t just accept it, even if there was little choice.

147. Blush

 Tommy was getting used to having friends. Yutaka and his parents were getting used to the subtle changes he was going through as a result, and the small bits of confidence seeping through, but now the balance had shifted again. He knew it had, because Yutaka had taken to shooting him concerned looks and his parents had returned to asking him a few too many times how things were going.

But he couldn’t exactly tell his family that his friends’ family was cursed and followed a really messed up hierarchy. So he’d mumble something about friends having family troubles and leave it at that. And his parents would mumble their pride and allow him to leave it at that, and Yutaka seemed to do the same.

Except when he didn’t. When he pushed and Tommy couldn’t give it back to him. ‘What are you protecting?’ Yutaka asked, finally.

And what was he protecting? Wasn’t the whole problem that he couldn’t protect them?

‘It’s a complicated family situation,’ Tommy reiterated.

‘Like Sohma complicated?’

And that shouldn’t have been as much of a surprise as it was. ‘I guess the Sohmas are pretty well known.’

‘Doesn’t mean the general public isn’t aware of how old-fashioned and micro-managed they are.’

And that was true. Even if they didn’t know the specifics.

‘Well, it’s like this…’ And Tommy explained, as best as he could, without mentioning the curse. And while Yutaka lends a sympathetic ear, he has no better ideas than the others.

Or maybe one better idea. ‘We are in the digital age, you know.’

And surely it would be easier to sneak a phone or something in than to sneak in physically for significant periods of time.

148. Nimble

 Chiaki didn’t expect to bump into Tomoko, but maybe that was fate giving her a nudge. So, of course, she doesn’t protest too much when the older women cooes over her, laments that she’s still too thin, and invites her over for dinner.

Koichi looked strained, and surprised.

She supposed she shouldn’t be too surprised herself.

But when Tomoko was preparing their dinner, the two were left to their own devices.

Or their own opportunities.

‘We haven’t talked for a while,’ Koichi broke the ice.

‘Didn’t want to,’ Chiaki admitted. ‘Honestly, I’d be happy to only need to remember the Sohma family once a year, but I’m not quite that heartless.’

‘So you pity the cat as well.’ Koichi sighed.

‘Sure I do,’ Chiaki replied. ‘Hell knows what I would have done in your shoes.’

149. Remain

 Chiaki wasn’t sure if she’d ever shared so much about her thought processes before. She lived alone, after all; had lived alone for years. She’d told bits and pieces, to Teruo and the twins because she still saw them outside the compound, but that was about it. And they’d respected that distance.

But this is different. This is a distance she created, to protect something that she’d fought for and that someone else needed to fight for too.

‘What do you even have to lose at this point?’

‘My family,’ was the immediate answer, and there was the main difference between the pair of them. Her parents were happy enough to leave her to the mercy of the Zodiac. The twins’ parents cared enough about their children to break a love couple to give them as good a life as they could manage.

And they got the cat and the rat, to boot.

‘Fuyuno’s not that strong, you know,’ Chiaki said. She’s said that before, but she doesn’t think she’s said that to Koichi before. ‘You remember the suicide, right? That shook him, both mentally and socially. And, of course, the district police aren’t entirely in their pocket. So he has to be careful. Another death on the compound would’ve been too high profile. So he called my bluff.’

‘But you…’ He looked at her, as though he could see the scars under her clothes. ‘You took the risk of…’

‘Dying, yes.’ She nodded. ‘I was pretty blasé at that point, to be honest. It was a risk worth taking. Now, not so much because I’ve got enough freedom that I don’t want to risk losing it. Risk and benefit ratio, I guess. But you’re going to lose your freedom if you do nothing.’

Koichi said nothing.

‘That room doesn’t air very well. It gets cold. And if someone bangs on the door the sound just echoes and the walls shake…’

‘Why do you..?’ He didn’t finish the sentence. He didn’t need to. When the room was empty, it was used for errant Zodiac members.

She hadn’t jumped straight away, after all.

150. Snore

 JP used to be good at sleeping in the summer. It was warm, and cosy, and going outside meant dealing with the humidity he could avoid with the indoor fan. But this summer, his mind was simply racing too much.

Tommy had brought up a good point. Tommy’s brother had brought up a good point. The room might be empty and cold but surely it didn’t have to stay that way. Of course, they didn’t know how often someone would enter that room; whether it was essentially a prison cell with an outside flap to push food through or whether someone would have to physically look in. Whether that someone would strip the room bare if they found it populated, or whether more substantial things could be snuck in.

But even still, a phone was fairly easy to sneak in. Though it was expensive on the allowance of five teenagers. Sims weren’t so bad, though. Prepaid sims, or a plan without too many perks. If only one of them had an old phone, but he wasn’t to get an upgrade until his phone stopped working or he could afford it himself…

Or he lost it. He wondered how disappointed his parents would be. What that breach of trust would cost.

Not a friend, at least, and that was the more important part.

So “losing” his old phone it was. And seeing what sort of sims the five of them could wrangle into it for a birthday surprise.

Chapter Text

151. Done

Teruo might keep contact with Koichi and Chiaki, but he still lived in the compound and he still saw and was directed by Fuyuno as often as others in the compound.

So it wasn’t too surprising that, when Fuyuno had a message to pass along to either of them, it was through him. Because he couldn’t ask Koji; that would make it more likely for the two to form a relationship… Though by this point the ship had well and truly sailed, and Teruo wasn’t about to be the one to say that much to the family head.

So he took the letter, skimmed over it, and passed it along next time he stopped by the Kimuras.

It wasn’t unexpected, not at all. Koichi, likewise, skimmed it and set it aside. His eyes seemed a little darker but that seemed to be the only change.

After all, he’d already been acutely aware of the ticking clock, about the countdown and the goal that was rapidly approaching.

152. Justice

Fuyuno was the head of the household, but often he felt like he’d never grown up. After all, he’d only had tutors, not school… and even the Zodiac members who lived in the compound went to some sort of school. He never left the compound, not even when the police were knocking on his doors. He let them in instead.

He couldn’t leave the compound, physically or mentally.

He knew he was weaker than some of the previous heads, both physically and mentally. Though they all had their own battles, their own wayward charges that they couldn’t quite keep in line. He’d learnt a little too early, maybe, or else a little too late. Or maybe some of the older members had been fighting the curse long before he’d been born.

He’d been born too late, maybe. Almost half the zodiac members were older than him and the youngest were fifteen.

Almost sixteen. Their birthdays were coming up. And july: the promised date.

And that hadn’t been his choosing. He wasn’t even sure who it was who’d decided, long ago, to allow the cat a little bit of freedom. He wasn’t even sure what the reason was: was it pity, or was it vindictiveness, or something in between? It had been coupled, of course, with more premature deaths but they were all coloured. Possibly, all lies.

The dog had made his statement this time round: made his death public and clear enough that the police couldn’t rule it as anything more than a suicide. And that brought scrutiny to his door. Forced him to relax his hand when others picked up on the slack and pulled as well… and he could only count himself lucky that it had been only the horse who’d kicked the stable doors, and none of the others.

None of the older ones, who’d been close. None of the others her age, who would have been more close to her. Or maybe age had nothing to do with it. Maybe they were all just inherently different.

It wasn’t as though he’d chosen for twins to be the cat and the rat. It wasn’t as though he’d chosen the conditions, or the cost. But although he was the head, he was a puppet to long standing traditions and he lacked the strength, physical and mental, to do anything but act his role.

153. Weapon

The traditional yutakas, at least, hid the lesions on his skin.

The traditional heads – the gods in the cursed fourteen – were all sick in some capacity. Usually, they weren’t the only ones. The cat or the rat or neither or both would be sick as well. Sometimes one of the others, for no reason at all.

But his was a physical condition. It hadn’t even spared his face: that butterfly rash that always burst across his cheeks. So whenever he left his attendants, it was coated with makeup and long sleeves that would hide the blushes on his chest and arms and legs. And whenever he struck, it was with the wooden edge of the fan or with gravity at his beck and call… he was sure Koichi, at least, had realised and let him do it regardless.

He only had hierarchy to protect him, after all.

His lungs were taut, after all. His heart was stretched thin. His kidneys were often plugging and he had his own hospital in his home to manage all of it. It was a race to see which would get him first: a vengeful family member or one of his failing organs, or would the wool of the curse vanish unexpectedly and leave him to the mercy of the law, to the mercy of crimes and cruelties of generations before him?

Because he knew full well it was illegal and wrong to lock people up, to push them until their heads cracked in more way but his ancestors had did that and worse and the precinct was long since set in stone.

154. Tide

Koichi hadn’t needed the reminder of the letter, but it was there: formal, old-fashioned script and all. He’d left it in his room, because his mother didn’t need a reminder too.

They were trying not to count the days. What else was there?

He was trying to burn this world into his mind, because what else was there?

He’d already packed a backpack, then unpacked and packed it again multiple times since. He wasn’t sure if there was any point. He wasn’t sure if those precious things would be thrown away or destroyed or whether he could keep them but he’d packed them anyway. Better taking the chance and bringing a little of the world with him than leaving them to grow stale in an empty house, his mother had said, and she was right.

He still couldn’t bring himself to take those things that were precious and unique to her as well, though.

So they’d spent the time, instead, photocopying photos and sticking them into a cheap album: irreplaceable, but also expendable if it came to that. Some novels; those that had aged well with him and he could read over and over again. Paper and exercise books and maybe if they were lucky, if the others could sneak in and visit him, if Koji and Teruo at the very least could sneak by and visit him, then he could pass letters to others and his mother.

And he wasn’t sure when he’d stopped thinking about the hopelessness of it all and started thinking about the possibilities of reaching the outside world anyway. If only he had a phone… though he didn’t know if there’d be electricity or reception in that room.

And, of course, there were more practical things. Blanket. An inflatable pillow – one of those that came free on aeroplanes that someone had left over at some point (and thank goodness they did, because pillows would have taken up his entire bag otherwise. He didn’t know what would happen with clothes. What would happen with food. But he couldn’t pack those, or near enough of those to last the rest of his life.

Even though he’d known this was coming for sixteen years, he didn’t know how someone was supposed to live their life out in that room.

155. Accent

Tomoko’s voice thickened when she read the message. She wasn’t cultured, like the Sohmas, and sometimes her voice held a tilt of something that lived outside the compound.

He hadn’t managed to lose it, himself, but she had; she hadn’t stayed there physically long enough… but long enough to become embroiled in their troubles. She hadn’t known, when she’d married Kousei. She hadn’t known, until she was holding two animals instead of two infants in her arms… but even then, she’d known they were her children regardless and she hadn’t let go.

The others whispered that that doomed her, that she should have just had her memory wiped and left the Sohmas alone. But what would have happened to her poor babies then? What would have happened to Koichi?

She didn’t regret her decision for a moment, and she certainly wasn’t going to go back, crawling, to have her memory wiped afterwards? She’d sneak into the compound herself to see him, instead, and she knew she could; she’d done it to see Kousei years ago. Not since she’d left with an infant kitten in her arms; she hadn’t dared risk it then. But mothers fought for their children, and she wasn’t going to stop.

And that’s as much as she told her son, holding him close, then closer still when it was a cat instead of a teenager in her arms.

Because what sort of mother would she be if she left him to that curse all alone?

Chapter Text

156. Indirect

The breeze was heavy and hot in June. Still, Zoe found herself sitting on a branch outside.

She’d found Koichi, like that. When his secret had slipped out. And she wondered if anything would have been different if she hadn’t met Koji first.

She wouldn’t have known where to go for help, but she might have found him anyway. Might not have brought two estranged twins together, though, and surely that had to be a good thing.

But maybe one couldn’t miss what they never had. What was worse? Having a taste of freedom only then to be denied it, or having never had it in the first place.

It was barbaric. It was wrong on so many levels and yet it continued to happened and they weren’t even fighting it. They weren’t even trying to fight it… but what could outsiders like them do? They were only looking for sneaky ways around things and Zoe wholeheartedly agreed to pitching in for a sim because there should be some connection to the outside world.

But they still didn’t know what would work, what would be worthless. They might not be able to sneak up to the room, even if they could get into the compound. They might be forced to forget, like Koichi feared. Who knew. Who would know until it happened and was too late… and would they even realise they’d forgotten something?

And what would their poor mother do, with her child being ripped out of her hands?

157. Haze

Zoe didn’t mind running, except when it was running away from something. But she was sure she’d have run with this. Even if it meant leaving her parents, and she loved them. But living in a cage was unfathomable, and it took a certain kind of strength to say he wouldn’t run, she knew.

Maybe, one day, she might have forgotten the friends she’d made for a brief period, and the small pockets of fresh air she’d enjoyed.

Didn’t make it easier, at all, to bear.

Still didn’t mean any of them regretted befriending them: two members of a cursed Zodiac.

Didn’t mean that, in a stilted stone-walled room, those memories that made things a little bit more bearable and painful as well didn’t seep out like the fresh air.

158. Puzzle

Kousei watched Koji looking through the photo albums again.

He wasn’t going to find what he was looking for. He knew that. They both knew that. But they looked anyway.

‘Do you have any recent photos?’ Kousei found himself interrupting. He wasn’t sure if the idea had just come to him or if he just wanted to break the cycle.

The cycle did break, at least. Koji looked up, half-lost, and nodded. ‘On our phones, mostly.’

‘There’s something to be said for physical photo albums, after all.’ He nodded at the one Koji held.

And there certainly was, as Koji began putting one together with a sudden gusto.

159. Try Again

Koichi wondered… if he had another sixteen years, what would he have done differently?

He wasn’t sure of it was the deadline, or Chiaki’s visit, or Fuyuno’s letter, but something had stirred the pot in him a little. How much would he have pushed? How much could he have pushed? If he wasn’t putting anyone else at risk, how much could he have pulled away and how much would that have cost him?

If it hadn’t been his brother as the cat, his mother as the guardian, his father for staying behind so both of them had a parent, his parents for breaking their marriage for their children, the Sohma family for being steeped in curses and century old traditions that hadn’t aged very kindly at all.

Maybe their generation missing the bird was an omen. Or maybe it was just a coincidence. Or maybe there’d been a mistake somewhere and Chiaki should have been the bird: the one who dared to spread her wings.

160. Reap

The saying went, one reaped what they sowed. But then what was the Sohma family’s sin, so long ago, that led to them being so embroiled in this curse?

Fuyuno didn’t know. He was just one in a long line, and there would be a long line after him. Perhaps there had always been some hierarchy embedded into them. Maybe they’d been royalty, one of those ancient dictators whose names were forgotten but demeanours remembered. Maybe they lived in the time where the true gods danced on the earth and they were too arrogant to be polite, and gods were vengeful enough to curse an entire bloodline for such matters of impoliteness, weren’t they.

But that didn’t mean the current generation deserved that, or at least not at first. But their own sins piled up anyway. He doubted the other Zodiac members disagreed that Fuyuno, as their leader, didn’t deserve an early death. He doubted it was any different for his predecessors. He doubted it was going to be any different for his successors.

They reaped what they sowed, after all.

Chapter Text

161. Settle

It’s their birthday, suddenly, and it’ll be the only one they have together.

‘Won’t you fight me?’ Koji asked, once again. ‘It’s not even a right, really. I’ll let you win. We don’t know Fuyuno won’t count it as anything.’

‘Haven’t you read the records?’ Koichi asked tiredly. ‘It’s a fight to the death. One time the rat said exactly the same thing. They were in love, or something. She let the cat stab her, but couldn’t take that pain and fought back even though she said she wouldn’t. Fought back with her bare hands and killed him instead. There weren’t guns in those days.’

‘A bunch of sixteen year olds in Japan aren’t going to get guns easily anyway.’ But Koji seemed to visibly droop. ‘It was never going to be as easy as throwing a punch if it’s never happened before.’

‘Whether it’s just differences in the way they’re raised or something else, it just never happens.’ Their cards are stacked three-fold, too, with the asthma and the blood relation.

‘Still, the cat and the rat have never been twins before, have they.’

Who knew if that even made a difference, with the end result.

162. Treat

They have a small party at the Kimuras: their father, and their four friends.

Kousei was surprised to see their joint present, but he had to admit it was a good idea. A way in their modern era to not be completely isolated, and something small enough to be hidden under clothes even if more obvious things could be taken away.

He wished he knew more, himself. What restrictions Fuyuno would enforce. What that room would be like. Whether there was anything else, except the room… and why they couldn’t be a little kinder and have a house instead. Once upon a time, it had been a cave on a mountain. That mountain had long since collapsed. And then a well. And then a cell made of reed sticks. And now a shed-like room. Maybe it would be a little cottage, one day, like long term psychiatry patients with no-where else to go. Maybe that was the sort of argument they used if anyone else wandered by and noted anything untoward.

But it’s his sons’ birthdays today and he didn’t want to think of those things.

Instead, he watched the parcels being unwrapped, one by one.

Aside from the joint present, they brought individual things as well. JP had brought a few different decks of cards: two regular packs (one with a guitar, the other with a book), a tarot deck and Hanabi, and some sort of collectables. Aside from the tarot deck, they were designed to be played with others, and no doubt they’d be playing something later on, but it was a shame there were only days, left, now.

Zoe had brought a beanie and mittens, except the beanie had cat ears and the mittens had claws. ‘I thought it showed off the inner cat,’ she shrugged, when they stared at her. She passed a similar packet to Koji, who of course opened it to find a grey set with a black nose and smaller ears instead.

And Tommy quickly shoved his own package across, to reveal a warm knitted scarf of only a slightly different shade of brown and grey. ‘I guess we kind of thought the same thing.’

Takuya’s present was also somewhat similar for both twins. For Koji he’d brought some kind of a computer game. For Koichi it was a book of mind puzzles.

And Koichi’s present to Koji turned out to be a sketchbook with drawings.

Kousei hadn’t even known he drew.

163. Notice

There was a lot he’d missed, in sixteen years, and watching Tomoko’s friends as the kids played Hanabi showed him she was thinking the same.

‘I was wondering…’ she said quietly, so the others didn’t overhear, ‘how it would have been if we’d lived together, after all. We were so afraid, then, that they would have been ripped apart somehow anyway.’

‘Whether Fuyuno would have put his foot down and forced one or both of them out of the house, or whether they would have grown to hate each other…’ There’d been too many possibilities, and they’d been too horrible to think about.

But now they looked at their children, and how much each of them had missed, and how much they’d continue to miss. And what could they even do about it, now?

‘I’d marry you again, you know.’

‘You can’t.’ And it wouldn’t do any good. Fuyuno would never let her inside again. ‘I’ll still visit, though.’

The way she said that made him look at her. ‘You don’t mean to…’

Her eyes were hard. She certainly did.

And all he could do when she got that sort of look in her eyes was try to protect her through the aftermath. Her, and her sons’ friends as well, because they’d said the exact same thing.

Wasn’t it too much to hope, though, that Fuyuno wouldn’t catch them all sneaking about?

164. Least

The day ended, as all days did. And the days that followed after were too heavy, too sombre. It made Koji almost stir crazy. Made him want to march up to Fuyuno and shake him until he changed it. But however wrong Fuyuno’s decision was, Koji knew he would not be able to sway it. He was their Clan Leader, their God. They were bound to obey him.

They’d been conditioned too well. Maybe if they’d been born before… but then what excuse did the older Zodiac members have? The noose of the Sohma family was so tight that the ghosts of previous generations kept them in line. It wasn’t fair. They’d done nothing to deserve it and the poor cat of the Zodiac had done the least. It was the rat who had cheated. The cow who hadn’t thrown the rat off its back. The god who decided to be stingy and shut the door in the cat’s face.

Their birthday party ended, and then so did all the remaining time they had together, no matter how they tried to fill it up.

165. Exception

It could be, Koichi knew, his last night to feel his mother’s embrace. He forewent his homework; there was little point in completing it should the worst occur, and should what he hoped for come true, he would have all the time in the world to make up such things. He didn’t have that with his mother; even if he was not locked away, her frail body and ill health were drawing her life to a close.

Tomoko had not gone to work that day, the same thoughts permeating her mind. Instead, she waited silently for him in their small apartment, and as soon as he came with his book-bag hurriedly slung over his shoulder and cap noticeably absent, she took him into her embrace.

The school uniform slipped to the floor in a heap as the black cat curled around her arm. She tightened her hold, sitting on her own mother’s rocking chair as she cuddled the warm fur close.

They stayed like that until it became too cold, and then they went under the blankets of her bed together, lying awake until the pale dawn sifted through high windows, pink like blood.

Koichi, a cat still, clung to his mother’s embrace. A mother’s embrace, wherein no harm could ever come to him. But it was an embrace he would soon have to leave. Perhaps forever.

Chapter Text

166. Rule

All those who were somehow associated with the members of the Zodiac were present. Fuyuno, as the Clan Head, stood at the front with the one born in the Year of the Dog beside him. The frailteen stared at Koji’s distant figure, standing with his father and brother.

Anyone else would think, from the distance between them, that the Cat stood alone. As he was supposed to, unless he foolishly chose to challenge the Rat in a last-ditch fight he could not hope to win. But they were close enough to remain in sight, to draw strength from the shadows the full moon cast.

Koji could see the tenseness in his figure.  The fear radiating.

Fuyuno took a step, then another, stopping while there was still enough distance between the two to encompass the twelve Zodiac members, and trapped they were between their God and the one most inferior to them. Their faces were impassive; Koji had to work hard to keep his own in that manner. He knew that, not only as the Rat but as a close family member, his behaviour would influence Fuyuno’s decision.

                ‘You didn’t fight,’ the teen said quietly, voice hard and cutting through the air.

Koichi shook his head wordlessly.

                ‘I told you,’ the Clan Head continued monotonously. ‘A monster such as the Cat cannot love.’

                ‘I don’t believe that,’ the Cat responded, his own voice weak and shaky in juxtaposition, but pushed out nonetheless. ‘I won’t.’

                ‘Then you have condemned yourself to eternal imprisonment.’ Fuyuno pointed behind them, to the reeds that rose from the ground and the prison of darkness beyond them. ‘If you are right and I am wrong, walk in there of your own free will and retain that shred of dignity.’

The rabbit, the young boy of four, cried out in disparity. The Head turned to him, expression a clean slate.

                ‘He lost the bet.’ The decree was stated factually. Coldly. ‘So he will either honour the consequences on his own or they will be forced upon him.’

Koji watched his brother, eyes both wide and dim as they flickered. Between prison and life. Between those reeds and in that dark room that housed his future and the people who surrounded him. His own voice was stuck in his throat as he attempted to cry out like the Rabbit, even knowing his reprimand would be so kind.

And then Koichi turned and walked. Slowly. Purposely. Afraid; yes, he was afraid. Koji could see it. He wondered if the others could see it too. But he passed the reeds, into the abyss without a sound of complaint or defence.

Because what could he say that he hadn’t already said, to those that would listen to him? For the God would never listen to the Cat. Not when it snivelled and cried for the trick the Rat had played on it. Not when an impossible task was set upon its head. Not even now, when love that could not be denied became the tool of destruction.

Outside, the voice of decree spoke. The only voice he would ever hear again. ‘So this… is what you chose.’

The doors slammed shut, eliminating the light.

167. Correct

There was no other choice, he knew, but it still didn’t take long for him to break.

The wood splintered under his hand, but still he hammered at it as if bringing the door down would shattered the nightmare’s tightly woven grip. There were no voices outside, by that point. They’d gone, or they were silently waiting.

Well, it was no longer about denying someone their satisfaction. A little show of despair wasn’t going to make anyone unlock that door. And he tired himself out easily enough.

It was almost therapeutic, he thought after, as he leaned against his backpack. At least he still had it, but he hadn’t opened it yet. It was still too new, too fresh.

It was still the beginning of the rest of his life and nothing in that backpack would last forever.

The silence though, that silence after the sound of his hammering on the door and his harsh breathing settled… that would endure. He wondered how many ghosts sat on that silence. How many cats had been in this room. He’d known the answer once. He couldn’t remember it now.

It seemed irrelevant, but also cruel. How much more of what he’d learnt by reading, by watching, by listening, would he wind up forgetting with only blank walls and the contents of a small backpack to stimulate him?

168. Harm

Days ticked by. Slow, painful summer days. Koji hadn’t seen the others since that day: hadn’t left his room, really. It was wrong, he knew, but self-imposed isolation was only a fraction of what his brother must have been going through. And his father said he could see someone on the porch of Fuyuno’s house. Someone was always watching, and they wouldn’t be able to sneak up close.

Sneaking out anyway would do more harm than good. Instead, he remained glued to his phone. Surely his brother would try and call, or they could call him. But no call went through. Fuyuno had thought of that, it seemed. And his heart sunk further as he thought about his poor brother, trying to reach them, to call out to them, only for nobody to hear him.

It had seemed like a good idea at the time, but it had failed and now it was just another source of hurt for him.

169. Strive

Days ticked by. Koichi only knew it because three meals came a day. And for some reason, they all had fish.

Not “for some reason”, he reflected a little while later. It was because he was the cat of the zodiac and somebody thought cats liked fish. As though that was much of a comfort. As though he should consider himself lucky they didn’t put catnip or leek into the food instead.

But the food didn’t vary much. It all tasted dry and the empty cup that came with it only ever saw water from the bathroom tap. He knew one of the old cats had died of starvation and he wondered if it was because they’d tired of eating, whether they’d lost that will.

Really, the only thing he was doing to keep on living was eating, sleeping, and adhering to basic hygeines. He’d eventually unpacked his backpack in the dim sunlight. Made the bare room just a little more palatable… but already, sometimes, the adjacent bathroom was better. Little more than a hole in the ground and a tap, it wasn’t a simple four wall box at least. But was wet, always wet, and a cat could hardly stand to stay in there.

And from outside, there was no sound at all. From inside, there was only him. He’d tried the phone, but there was no reception; he could only play games and use its torchlight until the battery went flat and even that was gone. He played games. He might as well, he thought, because the battery was going to wind down anyway and books at least didn’t go anywhere.

170. Temperamental

A week later, Kousei came home and said he saw no eyes on the room. ‘That doesn’t mean there isn’t anyone hidden,’ he said. ‘You should wait a few more days, at least.’

Weeks would be more preferable. Months, even, until they’ve grown older and feigned having forgot well enough that precautions are no longer necessary. But nobody could wait that long for people they loved, and that’s what made those sorts of traps all the more effective.

So he wasn’t all that surprised to find Koji missing not long after. He’d wished the other had mentioned it though, at least, so he could have kept watch himself. Or maybe that would have made him more conspicuous. He didn’t know. He could only hope and pray and hope.

But they weren’t that lucky. Or else it was a neatly prepared trap just as he’d feared. Because a dull-eyed Koji came back, unaware that he’d snuck out at all. And when Kousei brought up the topic, there was no recognition of Tomoko or Koichi or his friends at all.

Chapter Text

171. Divided

People kept on ringing him. People he didn’t know, didn’t recognise. He told them politely at first, but soon enough they grated on his nerves.

He wasn’t quite sure why.

And they kept coming. There was a persistence that had to be driven by something more than the indifference he gave them in return. They told him all manner of odd things, at first, and they made little sense to him – when he stopped to listen – at all. But then they backed off a little, gave him a bit at a time, and only when he could see the glaring bites of Swiss cheese in his memories could he believe their tales.

Not lies, after all. But secrets locked away, and throwing it all at him just made it sound like lies.

But as they picked at the lock little by little, it began to creak open.

And they persisted throughout it all.

172. Victory

It hadn’t taken them long to realise what had happened. The moment Koji didn’t recognise them. The moment Koji never called them back. The moment they lost their cover for getting into the compound, and to Koichi.

It was bad enough the phone wouldn’t go through. Was the battery flat? Was it in a reception black spot? They didn’t know. They couldn’t find out. And neither Teruo nor Chiaki would help them. In fact, they seemed to force a distance between them.

All Teruo did was confirm what they’d suspected. All Chiaki did was shrug and tell them to either take the risk and fight, or give up, as though it had nothing to do with her.

But the way she watched them after… maybe she was a little more committed than she’d appeared.

And they persisted. The hidden danger didn’t rear its ugly head. Nobody came to stop them, except Koji himself. And they picked at the locks, at the memories that didn’t quite tie together –

And finally, finally, he started remembering the things that filled in the gaps.

173. Delivery

It wasn’t until, in the middle of a conversation, that Koji froze, then bolted, that they’d broken through.

They caught him fairly easily, though by then he was shaking and muttering his brother’s name amidst a trial of confusion.

‘Fuyuno,’ he said finally, and gritted his teeth. And then they just stood there, because the head of the Sohma family had never been the sort of person one could just walk up to in a temper.

And now that they’d been caught out once, how much longer until it was safe to try again?

How long, now, would he have to pretend he didn’t know about those raw holes torn into his heart?

174. Ballard

Fuyuno, unsurprisingly, saw through him almost straight away. Maybe it was the curse of being the Rat, the animal closest to god and, therefore, under the most scrutiny. Or maybe it was his relation to the Cat… or maybe it was both, or neither, or something somewhere in between.

Surprisingly, all he did was call Koji to him.

And Koji, heart hammering, had gone.

They stood together, by the window. This one faced the Cat’s compound but it was so far away: a mere speck in the distance. All the residences were far from Fuyuno, and in the winter the snow piled between them, making it seem even more isolated.

In the summer, it was the sticky heat and flies.

Always, it was the division of the curse: the cursed gods and the animal guests at his banquet and the eternal ballad in the background.

And now, it was a division of family as well.

‘Forgetting would have been easier,’ Fuyuno said, finally. ‘I suppose there are some things you can’t let go of, though.’

‘I guess so.’ Koji didn’t know where Fuyuno was going with this. Couldn’t read the mood. Was he mad? Or was he just commenting as though they were talking about the weather.

All that time they’d spent together, and all the time they hadn’t, and he couldn’t put his finger on it still.

‘I should have erased it all. Your friends. Your father.’

He couldn’t rebuke that, or else Fuyuno might just do it out of spite. One never knew when he was going to fly into a temper.

All the gods were unstable like that, apparently.

‘It would have been impossible, I imagine.’

Koji blinked at that. ‘Impossible,’ he repeated. That word shouldn’t exist in a god’s dictionary, he thought.

But hadn’t someone said once that Fuyuno was as human as the rest of them?

Didn’t Koichi, who had the least reason to, sometimes look like he pitied their family head?

‘Impossible,’ Fuyuno repeated. ‘Tell me, which side of the door is harder to unlock?’

‘The side without the key?’ Koji replied. It sounded like a trick question though. ‘Unless you mean the person who holds the key and is on the side where the key fits into isn’t supposed to open the door, but isn’t sure if he can help himself.’

‘The latter,’ said Fuyuno, ‘so which is it?’

Koji shook his head. He was sure there was no right answer, no answer that was going to get that door open.

175. All I Ask

In the end, Fuyuno send Koji off without doing a thing. There was no point. He had a feeling he would only entangle himself further into a web he was trying to struggle out of.

But out of sight didn’t mean out of mind. Not when he had to be vigilant. And how the other heads did it, he didn’t know.

Actually, he did know. Maybe he’d made the mistake in thinking sixteen was the cut off, and not when they knew their time was almost up. Instead of being a stab of final spite to drag out the curse, it was backfiring on him.

Or maybe it was because he was acutely aware of the prison of his own making, and how a measly cat with pride he didn’t know the other possessed had gotten the better of him.

He hadn’t locked up the cat. The cat had chosen exile. That made the difference. Was playing mental games with him and he knew he was weak and he could only cover it up so well.

If the rest of the world just forgot, it would be easier.

There was no way the rest of the world could forget. Even if he wiped all their memories, they’d wonder where the cat of the zodiac was, or somebody else would have to take their place.

 They survived in a cruel hierarchy that needed someone, something, at the bottom after all. But the one at the bottom wasn’t supposed to look up. They were only supposed to keep staring at the ground.

But if he threw away the key, let go of the power that key gave, then he’d doom someone to starvation and death and that was a line he couldn’t and wasn’t allowed to cross.

Chapter Text

176. Fire

All he had to tell him about the outside world were sounds.

A deafening, inescapable silence.

The even patter of rain or hail that saw him clawing walls.

Howling winds that had him shuddering in a corner.

Voices too far away to discern, but still he yearned…

He didn’t know how long it had been. His sparse comforts were dwindling fast and only the meals came, like clockwork.

He’d stopped counting them. Stopped keeping track of the days. Stopped trying to fill the days with senseless things. Stopped trying to remember why he needed to endure this, because only the ambient silence replied.

Sometimes, he couldn’t even hear his own breathing in it. But even if he had another attack, what could he do? His inhalers were run dry. He’d used too much, perhaps, or perhaps a month had gone by.

The clock was ticking, now, and he was sure there was a fire smouldering somewhere as well, waiting to take him.

Already, he was too sensitive. His skin prickled at the slightest change in temperature. His ears screamed at the slightest change to sound. His mind screamed at the blackness of it all: at the tedium, at the little prison that closed in on its sides.

He’d thought it spacious, for a little. And maybe it would have been a generous prison if it wasn’t to be his forever home.

If only he could claw the walls down.

If only he wasn’t just a little bit human still.

177. Lies

He wasn’t sure when he started not being so human. He always was, he supposed. Maybe, he’d finally stopped listening. Maybe, he no longer had anyone to tell him.

He wasn’t sure when he’d first slipped or ripped those beads off. He wasn’t sure when that made the tightness in his chest and the ringing in his ears ease. He wasn’t sure when he drowned in the scent of death and shivered in the chill it left behind and searched for a burrow to hide behind.

He wasn’t sure when the banging of the wind sound like whips and gallows, and when blankets were flimsy things but matches, matches were warmth and they lit up gloriously…

And he wasn’t sure when burning along with artefacts that weren’t so comfortable after all didn’t seem like a bad thing, whether it was hellfire or the match girl’s blaze.

178. Stormy

It somehow seemed terribly unfitting that there was a storm raging outside.

As far as storms went, it was hardly a bad one; rain was pouring down in sheets but their raincoats kept them dry. There was no thunder cracks, no whips of lightning – only the wind howled and tossed the water like a child in the sand. It was that wind that made umbrellas useless; Risshun had attempted one but was forced to abandon it at the foyer of the main house.

Fuyuno had not borne her notice, simply continuing on through nature’s reproach. It was only when he stopped in front of the Cat’s prison that he turned to the Sheep beside him.

She looked once, then understood. ‘You decided.’ A pause. ‘Why now?’

                ‘Holding the key forever is a chore, too,’ he replied. ‘After all, I can’t just let him starve. He has to live. Which means I have to remember to order meals to be taken to him. To order new clothes every now and then. Blankets. Occasionally do maintenance on the house, and him.’

‘His health,’ she repeated. ‘And you erased the rat’s memories. His health. But it didn’t work.’

‘Out of sight isn’t out of mind,’ the Head sighed. ‘Why did the others start this?’

‘Why didn’t you change it?’ Risshun replied.

‘You’re the sheep,’ Fuyuno snapped. He’d always irritated quickly, even when he wallowed in his own powerlessness.

‘Sheep follow the herd,’ the sheep of the zodiac agreed. ‘But you’re the one who’s indecisive and it’s the flock who suffers for that.’

‘You’re not supposed to fight.’ But he did nothing about it. ‘They’re not all supposed to fight.’

Except they did. One committed suicide. One attempted it and used that as an excuse to blow the coup, so to speak. One pair he’d tried to separate and he’d failed three times over, apparently. And that’s not counting everything in between, how he’d brought scrutiny to a clan that had escaped notice for hundreds of years while worse atrocities had occurred…

And now look at him, taking a battle he’d technically won and spurning its reward. But what reward was it? The moment that boy walked into the cage by himself, he’d lost. Choice made the difference. Pride made the difference. And the twelve zodiac animals had been present.

And then again, when he’d tried to at least make the rest of the world forget, one by one, he’d failed. The world was too big for him to control. It always had been.

It always had been for him, the frail and failed god.

179. Terrible

Outside was cold and rainy and windy.

The handle, bizarrely, was warm. Fuyuno hissed when he touched it. Risshun gave him an odd look, then even odder when he handed the keys back to her.

He paused a moment, before the threshold, then pushed open the door.

There was a figure curled up on the floor. That was all he could tell through the smoke that ceased its chance to blow out of the room.

Risshun drew in a sharp breath, then bolted. He heard her voice calling, from far away. ‘Fire! Fire!’

He’d never heard her be so loud before.

And the figure on the floor, it shifted between human and monster: human and cat and beast, rather. Its eyes, blue and yellow, rolled right passed him. Instead, they looked, glassy eyed, only at the flames.

Where the juzu beads? Already ash, possibly.

Where was the family member he’d come to save? Already gone, possibly.

But no. It was when firefighters and the ambulance arrived and dragged him away to give him an oxygen mask that the mass on the floor shifted.

Shifted… and screamed as the fires began to choke. He couldn’t see at all, now. Only yellow and red and black. The rain began to drown even the smoke.

Their family came out, bit by bit, to watch. And, in the end, there was only rubble and a tightly wrapped cat.

180. Decay

There’d be too many questions, even if this hadn’t been something they could keep confined.

They had a private ward. Private doctors who were related closely enough to the Sohma curse that they didn’t bat an eye at treating a patient who fought unseen demons and couldn’t settle into a form.

Fuyuno watched the proceedings with an impassive face. Behind his eyes though, a storm churned. It wasn’t until the children turned out that things changed. It wasn’t until then that the storm calmed a little. It wasn’t until someone had the sense to call his mother, as well, and his mother ignored the blindly swiping claws and the smell that was starting to seep through smoke and ash and embraced the thrashing form.

And then there was a pale, dark cat curled into the crook of Kimura Tomoko’s arms, and more than a few people murmured a prayer of thanks.

His eyes were still yellow though, Fuyuno noted. Yellow and glass.

There was more than one way to live.

There was more than one way to break beyond repair, even if there was only one way to die.

And maybe this… this is the answer they can all accept. Maybe guilt is a more bearable taste than a dangling carrot ever-obscuring his vision.

Chapter Text

181. Dramatic

Luckily, the fire didn’t damage the outside. Or unluckily, as it was. The rest of the Sohma family didn’t know what had happened: only a select few.

And, really, if he’d thought to control the information a little better, Koji and Teruo wouldn’t have known either. But he’d slipped up there. They knew. And those friends of theirs and there wasn’t anything he was going to do. Let them have that. He’d battled once and failed, after all. He simply couldn’t bring himself to battle again.

It burned. His hands had blisters too: the ultimate irony. And that, ultimately, stumped him. Caging the cat was normal. It was what they’d done for years, in different ways. Living in the compound was the norm. And yet it had spiralled so quickly out of control.

Something had fallen apart somewhere, and he didn’t even know where that was. And now he was disappointed in himself. His family was disappointed in him… except the zodiac members, of course. Except the ones who kicked at their cages wanting freedom.

Twelve people. Or, rather thirteen. And he was failing utterly at conforming to the tale his ancestors had told.

182. Panic

‘People can’t be alone.’

She was a previous head. So old she’d seen another generation of zodiac members come and go, and yet she’d never stepped in. She’d let things run their course and a mix of pride and fear had kept the latter ones from asking for help.

Between them, one was dead: the previous god. And another had retired to a quiet life on their mountain property.

But now he was stuck. Now he could only bury this, like he’d buried two Zodiac members already, and what did that leave?

‘People can’t be alone,’ he repeated.

What was all he’d given her, and then he’d been shoed out. Old and frail and honouring him with words that barely meant a thing…

Except they were all alone, weren’t they? And there was nothing he could, or should, do about that.

183. With You

Even if the other zodiac members could be happy, even if they didn’t have the skeletons of their family to worry about as well as the curse, the young god-head would always be alone.

In their family records, there wasn’t a single god who’d married, who’d born children. Not the female ones. Not the males.

They were too weak. Too frail. Died too quickly.

Weak in body. Weak in mind as well.

And with each generation of Zodiac members, the skeletons twisted even more.

So who was going to stay with a dying god?

184. Killing

One thing the god had no say about was death. Not him, playing the act of a god in this dead banquet of theirs. Not the true god, who didn’t or couldn’t listen to all their prayers to live just a little bit longer.

They didn’t truly live, in the end. And the bitterness didn’t allow anyone else to live, even if there was no curse.

Or, perhaps, it was just the nature of their curse.

But he couldn’t choose when he died, and for all of them, the zodiac members living as long as they can was the most advantageous. Meant they might skip an extra generation. Meant other parents could breathe easily while the old generation were still around, knowing there was a slim chance of that last spot being filled, of their being the rare fourteen all at once, and knowing there was an impossible chance of anything else being born.

That had happened too, in the scrolls. More than once entire generations had been culled… and for what? For new beasts to be born without days, months, years… and for everyone else to have to deal with the bloodbath.

185. Jump

Out of sight, out of mind, perhaps.

If he told the zodiac members – those in the compound, anyway, that they were suddenly free to go, what would they do? Where would they go?

Someone might have found it amusing, too. Tell them they had five minutes to leave and not to come crawling back if they failed. How many would leave? How many would stay, seeing the trap for what it was? How many would come crawling back and find themselves tied down forevermore? How many just wouldn’t? Would stumble upon some good fortune or some stubbornness and never turn back?

Too bad no-one was going to offer that to him? He had only himself to answer to, on that one. And if he wasn’t so afraid of dying, he might have just stepped off a building and gone splat on the pavement like Shokun years before, and then it wouldn’t be him struggling to hold up the ripple effects thereof.

But he couldn’t blame Shokun, could he. For Chiaki, yes. For Koichi… probably not. The cat was always going to get caged. The cat was always going to rebel. The cat was always going to be too broken to rebel properly… but that was the only way to ensure the cat would come back at all.

Chapter Text

186. Waste

They were all old enough, now, that they could fear a monster in the shadows without seeing it year by year. Out of sight, out of mind after all. People remembered the dog because of its bloody end but most didn’t recall the wayward horse.

It would just mean admitting he’d lost… again.

But what else was there to do? He could bow out gracefully or try to stop a train. His authority had long been undermined and, one by one, even the members of the zodiac were picking up on it.

And no doubt the rat would be the next one.

A curse meant to provide him a meagre comfort, meant to tie another twelve to him… but that was before they left him one by one, for an illusion of freedom they shouldn’t have.

He’d thought they wouldn’t miss what they didn’t know but it apparently wasn’t true, and they seemed hell bent on making him miss what he did.

187. Passion

Koji was ready to kick down the hospital door.

It was a mess and it didn’t look like it was going to be straightened out anytime soon. Their infirmary was practically on lockdown, and it was a surprise Fuyuno had allowed them in in the first place. But now the others were coming by every day after school and he was barely leaving.

Lot of good that was doing, though. The cat was still bandaged and curled in their mother’s arms.

He was confused. Confused with Fuyuno’s motives, with his brother, and with how the fire had even started. Where was the logic in any of it? Was that room so dreary and cold that he’d tried to get warm and overdid it? Had he fallen asleep with a match on like one could fall asleep smoking? Or had he deliberately lit that fire, searching for a way out because he’d thought there was no other way left.

How many days, weeks, had he forgotten? How many days, weeks, had Koichi been alone in that room?

It was still whole, on the outside. Inside was wiped clean, and he’d only peaked in for a moment when his father had sent him home.

A moment, and he’d gone right back, still dirty and in the same, crumbled clothes.

His father had given up after that.

But all the time in the world now wouldn’t replace what they’d lost.

188. Flying

He was drifting, somewhere.

Sometimes, the ground he lay on felt intangible. Sometimes, it felt soft and warm. And, sometimes, it was an icy cold that made him cringe away.

It never settled. Like him, it drifted, defying sense.

And his nose was blocked. All he could smell was the stench of something burning, something rotten. They couldn’t be the same – he knew that – and yet it was one or the other or sometimes both of them.

His ears were blocked up too.

Wherever he was, currently, defied sense.

But, slowly, it changed. Sounds started creeping in. Voices, from longing dreams. A warmth that didn’t flee, to be replaced by an empty cold. And sharper smells. Kinder smells. More sterile, in contrast with the voices and the warmth.

And, finally, his feet, his body left the ground.

Finally, his heart stopped shuddering in the dark and soared.

189. Drought

He was in a dream.

He must be. He could hear his mother’s voice. His brother’s. His friends. And he could feel warmth, and someone petting him.

He was in his cat form and on his mother’s lap. How many times had he done this, over the years? How fortunate had he been to not have a parent who’d think him a monster, who’d treat him like a monster?

Like the monster he was… and yet, the monster was more sane than the human, in that room, wasn’t he?

Or was it just the animal: simpler thought processes, easier instincts to fall into: eat and sleep, without thinking so much about the coldness, the emptiness, the loneliness and the eternal imprisonment.

Animals thought about today. Humans were the foolish ones who thought about the future even when they didn’t have the means.

But now, he was in a dream.

He wondered how long he could last in this dream? If he opened his eyes, would it vanish? Or could he bask in their appearance as well?

He couldn’t risk that. Not when that was the only precious thing left to him and who knew when it would come back.

190. Sword

His chest was tight.

His lungs were going to rip the dream right out of his hands.

He tried to hang on to it, and it sharpened to the point where his skin was on fire and his ears seemed to bleed, but still the breaths won’t come.

And someone – unfamiliar voices, his mother’s sweet tenor – were telling him to breathe.

That didn’t work – it never did – but then his mother’s hand was on his back and she was counting, gently.

He knew this. He remembered this. It was more for anxiety than asthma but it always seemed to work. Maybe he did have a bit of both, or maybe it was just concentrating on something else that took the edge of.

There was plastic on his face. Something clear blowing on his nose and mouth.

A nebuliser. Maybe some oxygen as well.

And his mother’s hand was still on his back.

His eyes opened despite him. She was there, looking worriedly at him. There was a doctor there as well, vaguely familiar. Some nurses. Drawn curtains with different coloured stars and a moon.

He couldn’t still be dreaming, could he?

He took a breath of freedom – or the dream – and coughed.

His chest was still tight, and it hurt.

Chapter Text

191. Skill

Dreams weren’t supposed to hurt.

Gods weren’t supposed to go back on their word as well, but he’d had an inkling long before Chiaki had cast her own doubts into play.

Fuyuno didn’t make a good god. He tried to be cold and rigid. It didn’t work. He tried to be cruel and it didn’t work. He just wasn’t either of those things, and he was surrounded by animals who could smell the weakness and act on it.

If he didn’t have to act a certain way, he could have been better. If he wasn’t himself caught in the chains of his ancestors, he could have been better.

He almost felt sorry for him, but he was the cat and the cat always got the short end of the stick, and he, right now, couldn’t even be grateful it wasn’t worse.

Sometimes, it’s hard to imagine worse in the heat of the here and now.

But now that he knew it wasn’t a dream, that he was awake and apparently out of his lifelong prison, he didn’t know what to think. Was this temporary? Permanent? Was this a trick or trap of some sort, or was this the ultimate victory he couldn’t enjoy because he’d be forever paranoid?

Fuyuno was indecisive, at the end of the day, and that was what made him most dangerous of all.

192. Rust

Everything was rusty, and still covered with memories of that room.

He worked out, not long after that asthma attack, that he wasn’t spending a lot of time in his human form. He seemed to cycle between them – human and cat. Somehow, the juzu beads had been replaced, but sometimes, in the dark quiet room he’d slipped them off anyway.

Somehow, he’d wake up with them on regardless. Not that it really mattered. They allowed him that indulgent.

But that wasn’t the only thing. Closed doors seemed to trigger the transformation, too. It had taken him a bit to work that out, once he could think more clearly in his cat form. The curtains didn’t matter. The door did. The human him craved a freedom he still didn’t quite have.

It took a while before he could walk more than the length of the room without transforming.

It took a while before more than animal sounds and ragged breaths snuck out of his throat as well.

193. Enchant

It was strange, seeing Koichi.

Sometimes he was a cat. Sometimes he was a human, but there was something in his eyes that still seemed either caught in a dream or in a cat’s body.

He barely moved. He barely spoke. He accepted their hands, their embraces, the warm meals they brought.

He stared in confusion at the games, the books, the empty paper.

And, sometimes, he’d stare at the empty door like he was enthralled with it. But he never got up and just walked through.

But as time passed, he seemed to slip back into their world. He offered slow, automatic replies. He turned pages, probably too quick to be reading or taking in the tales at all. He draw on the paper: squiggles, then lines, then simple shapes like a child working their way through the development stages. He started putting puzzle pieces sensibly together.

And then, one day, they came to visit and Fuyuno was there, but Koichi was gone.

Koji could swear he felt his heart skip a beat, but Fuyuno only shook his head and took a seat.

Koji left him there. Right then, Fuyuno didn’t matter.

Koichi did.

194. Shadows

The infirmary was similar to a small hospital. They even had a rooftop, and the sun beat down gloriously on it.

Koichi stretched. The sun was warm on his skin. The heat was hot beneath his feet but that didn’t matter. Cats loved the heat, the sun, the freedom that came from being high up.

From here, he could see the entire compound. From here, he could see the room. He could also see the gate.

What was going on? He didn’t know. What was Fuyuno thinking? He didn’t know.

If Fuyuno told him to go back, what would he do? He didn’t know. He didn’t think he could walk in there willingly again, but he also didn’t think he could run.

There was still something broken, inside him. Something still trapped in that room, not quite here in the outside world.

But there was something a little broken about all of them, wasn’t there? All of them cursed by the zodiac, with animal spirits in human bodies and centuries of skeletons in their closet.

‘Koichi!’

Koji had found him, somehow.

They managed to get by even in pieces.

He offered a jagged smile as his brother scrambled over the ladder just like the rat spirit he bore.

195. Powerless

The twins came back together.

Just another way to taunt him, Fuyuno thought. He doubted they’d meant it on purpose, though.

At least, he doubted Koji had meant it on purpose. Who knew what Koichi was thinking, nowadays.

His eyes seemed filled with smoke ever since that day.

‘Leave us,’ he said to the younger twin.

He looked at the two of them, then left.

He left the door open, though. And Koichi stared at the door a long moment before sitting back on his bed.

He said nothing, though. Just switched the target of his gaze from the door to Fuyuno.

‘If I told you to go back to that room,’ Fuyuno tried, ‘what would you say?’

‘I don’t know,’ was the immediate answer.

And of course not even the cat was going to give him what he needed to know.

Chapter Text

196. I’ll Never Leave

‘Damn it.’ It was frustrating. Fuyuno reached out and grabbed the other’s collar.

He didn’t flinch. His eyes remained filled with smoke and it drained the fight from him.

Fuyuno’s grip loosened. It was easy to be driven forward with reactions, but when he didn’t get what he needed to feed those actions…

When had the zodiac members figured him out so easily?

But he’d already known that, hadn’t he. They’d both already known that.

And he wondered how many more times he’d do this. How many more chances he’d get, and lose. The dog, then the horse, and now the cat as well.

‘Will you come back?’ His voice was so pathetically small, right then.

‘Are you asking me?’ the other returned flatly. Perhaps he meant to sound confused. Perhaps he meant nothing at all.

And, of course, whatever he meant, he wasn’t going to make it easy.

‘You’re the cat of the Zodiac,’ Fuyuno said, hopefully equally flatly. ‘I suppose you could say the other zodiac members are expendable – to the point where they don’t all appear in the same generation, necessarily. But you know who does.’

‘The god,’ the other replied dutifully, ‘the rat and the cat as well.’

‘And, because of that, the two a god can never let go of are such. One the most honoured of the twelve, crushed by expectation. The other, in the shadow, crushed by the weight of pain and hierarchy. Both, crushed by attention. Crushed like…’

What was he saying? To the cat, no less.

‘Crushed like the god,’ Koichi finished.

Fuyuno scowled, but the other wasn’t wrong.

‘Along the same vein, we are also the ones who can’t pity you.’

‘Can’t or won’t?’

Koichi tilted his head. ‘Do you want our pity?’

Did he?

197. I’m Here

Their Head was good at talking in circles. But so was he. It was because of that that he’d survived all this time. Words were powerful, that way. Fuyuno might be the head of the family, but the cat was the outcast and that was as much an advantage as it was a curse.

After all, he had a family who loved him, who hadn’t cared about the curse, who’d raised him as far away from it as they could manage.

And maybe if he wasn’t the cat, he might have pitied him.

He’d already thought about this, after all.

But still, they were still here: the god and the outcast cat.

198. Ashes

‘Did you do it on purpose?’ Fuyuno wanted to know. ‘The fire?’

Koichi shrugged. ‘Maybe a little,’ he admitted, and there was more emotion there than so far their conversation. ‘At least, there was a point – maybe more than one – where there was simply no point living my life out in that room. After all, Schrodinger’s cat can be inside the box or out, and nobody will know until they open the box.’

‘Schrodinger’s cat, huh.’ Would have been nice to know about that one, earlier.

Would have been nice if things had gone the way they were supposed to, earlier.

‘The little match girl as well. Striking matches and watching the phantoms of happiness until she found that filial love she couldn’t let go of.’

For him, that would be his mother, his brother, his friends…

And Fuyuno knew. He’d tried to take one away from another and it hadn’t worked.

‘The inside is badly damaged, anyway.’ And it wouldn’t work to find another room, another prison. It would be too obvious. He’d have to explain why. And why there’d been no companion. And then work out a way to keep the others away.

They were better off as they were. That fragile balance that might be impossible to gain again.

Because he also couldn’t just cut him off completely. Not the cat. Because then who would be the symbol of the greener grass for them? Who would be the shadow that allowed them a little light?

‘The new year’s banquets,’ said Fuyuno. ‘You walked into a cage willingly once, and then you destroyed it from the inside. That’s cheating, you know. I’ll have you walk into that cage every year from now on.’ And, in return, walk out as well. ‘Outside of that, you’re not to set foot in the compound. However you live your life is up to you.’

‘Up to me.’ Koichi laughed, and it sounded smoke-clogged as well. ‘What does that even mean?’

199. Touch

Fuyuno left. Koji came back in to find his brother staring listlessly at the wall.

‘What now?’

‘I have till the banquet to figure it out, I guess,’ Koichi replied with a shrug. It was hard to see much of anything in an infirmary in the compound.

It was hard to see much of anything after that lonely infinity prison room.

Koji’s hand was suddenly warm, on his own.

‘How about, before all that, we go home? Apparently you’ve got the green light, now.’

200. Emptiness

It was strange, thinking of a future after he thought he hadn’t had one. He’d done a good job being hopeful, he’d thought… but the ultimate hope was a future that didn’t finish in imprisonment and he hadn’t been able to see that.

He’d chosen the path where he refused to fight, but he hadn’t thought even that sort of path would lead him to this.

He also hadn’t thought he’d need to worry about patching himself back together after he broke, and yet here he was doing exactly that.

Nobody else asked him about the fire. Maybe they should have, but they seemed to consider it more important that he was breathing the fresh air again, so to speak. And a summer fever seemed to have gripped them – their other friends. They were organising a world trip after graduation, and he still had to decide what he was going to do about college now, or vocation for that matter. Life was supposed to go back to normal, relatively speaking. He’d never gone much to the compound, anyway. Never had much to do with the other members, except banquet day.

And who knew how the next banquet would look. Would he hold his head high and walk in or would he have to be dragged? It was still so far away. And between here and there were a lot of blank patches that his family and friends were flooding, trying to fill.

And he knew – knows – he could never have pulled it off on his own. The warmth from their company, their persistence… he might be the cat, the shadow of the zodiac, but even he had his lights and love and the matchstick of a bright future.