Chapter Text
Lena couldn’t help but hear the conversation Jess was having. “Can you believe that last episode? I hate that I have to wait another week before I get to see what happened.”
Lena paused before entering her office. She couldn’t remember the last time she had heard Jess be genuinely excited about something. She doubted that Jess realized she was there. “What show are you talking about?”
Jess looks up at the CEO. Lena witnesses a look of panic cross her face .The woman who she was talking to, Lena recognized her as someone from legal, left with out another word. Jess clears her throat. “It’s just a show I watch.”
“It sounded like you really enjoy watching it.”
She lets out a nervous laugh. “It’s my new favorite.”
Lena smiles urging her on.
“It’s called Even Now, I doubt you have time to watch tv shows but I have to say I don’t know the last time I saw a show that held me captive to the story.”
“I’ll have to check it out then.” Lena takes a breath before shifting back to business mode. “Is the conference call for nine still on?”
Jess checks her computer. “Yes, it is Ms. Luthor.”
“Perfect. And Jess you can call me Lena. I know we’ve talked about it before.” She waits for an affirmation before she moves onto the next thing. “When Ms. Arias comes in later, send her right in.”
“Will do.”
Lena opens the door to her office. The morning light floods in from the windows facing the rest of the city. She takes a seat and logs in. She had looked at her email as she ate breakfast at her apartment. She had planned the replies on the way in. She settled in, her hands finding their place on the keyboard.
That afternoon as Sam stands at the end of the meeting, Lena asks her. “When I came in today Jess was talking about some show called Even Now with one of the other secretaries. Have you heard of it?”
“Ruby is obsessed with that show.” Sam shifts the bag on her hip. “She got me to watch it with her. I have to admit it’s not bad.”
She sifts through her brain for the right question. “How many episodes are there?”
“I think there are eight out. I started watching after episode three was out. I swear Ruby’s already seen every episode multiple times. She can’t stop talking about it.”
Lena smiles. “She must really like it.”
Sam agrees. “It’s on on Sundays so no need to worry about missing it because of work.”
She’s only half kidding when she says it. “Does everyone think all that I do is work?”
Sam scoffs. “I received an email from you after two am last Wednesday.”
Lena plays along. “Point taken. But I do go home at some point.”
“Well, with all that extra time you have let me know if you do give it a try. There’s some good representation in it. Of all the shows Ruby could fall in love with I’m a little glad it’s this one.”
It was closing time for everyone in the office around five but Lena doesn’t leave until closer to seven. She decides on the way home to give the show a try and watch it. She could set aside work for one night. It had been ages since she had sunk her teeth into a show, none the less one that had come out recently.
Lena queues up the pilot after she re-heated her dinner. She sits down on her white couch, the tv in front of her nearly taking up the whole wall. She had had to re-enter her wifi password and her login info.
After the first scene and the theme song there’s a seed of dread within her. It morphs into shear disbelief by the last ten minutes. It’s only in the last three minutes does it become undeniable.
Kara’s name scrolls up in the credits. It’s the last bit of proof she needs to confirm it.
Even Now is them. Lena had just watched how they had met nearly ten years ago. It had been during a meeting for the Universities Colleges Against Cancer club. Lena had seen Kara eat two thirds of a Papa Johns pizza before Kara realized someone was looking at her. Then they were grouped together for an ice breaker. Lena had off handily mentioned that she was studying chemistry and mechanical engineering and it was the first time coming to a meeting. She learned minutes later that Kara was a member of the club’s executive board.
When the meeting had let out Kara had jogged to catch up to Lena. She had found her on the stairs leading out of the building. Kara had told her that she hoped she would come to the next meeting. Lena wasn’t thinking as she pulled out her phone and asked Kara for her number. She sent her a text message as they stood huddled together so that Kara had hers too.
Their song had faded in. It was the song that Kara had put on each of the burned CDs she had made for Lena. She still had them somewhere in a dusty box. It was her Kara box not that she put a label on it.
The final shot was of the woman playing Kara looking at Lena’s character as she walked away. Kara’s gaze never wavered. She thinks back to that very moment. Right then and there Lena had wanted to look over her shoulder. But being part of the Luthor family meant never looking back. It wasn’t something she had ever been able to unlearn. Lena remembered how it felt when her phone buzzed in her jeans pocket a block later. She couldn’t help but be surprised that it was from Kara. Lena had replied to her promising that they would see each other again. The next time they saw each other was before the next meeting. It hadn’t taken much time at all.
The second episode starts as Lena gapes at the screen.
Kara, her ex was supposed to be a journalist. That’s what she had been studying when they had met and Lena was in her first masters program. When they had broken up Kara was working at Catco and Lena worked in the research and development department at Luthor Corp.
She had lost track. There was the point eighteen months after they broke up where Lena thought she should have already gotten over Kara. So Lena had deleted the alerts that had pushed a copy of every article Kara had published to her primary email. A year after, Lena told herself to stop looking for Kara in every crowded room she entered. She had put Kara behind her. She was part of her past. She was supposed to stay there. But she was watching herself on her own tv screen. Sure her name was changed, so was Kara. Kara was the fucking show runner of Even Now and had had the writing credentials for the pilot.
Lena didn’t know what the next thing to do was. So she sat on her couch, which wasn’t even comfortable, until her tv asked her if she was still watching and then turned itself off.
Kara had made a tv show. It was about them.
How long had it been?
Not long enough for Lena to forget.
She thinks about it as she stares at her ceiling waiting for sleep to come. Their song plays over and over again in her head. It had been years. Lena had made a choice. That night she had learned that Kara did to. Their relationship was on screen. Lena didn’t know how to escape it. She had lost a part of herself when things ended with Kara. How could she not? She loved Kara. Not in the trite or cliche way that people said I love you every day. But in the unconditional way a person wrote love songs and stories about. Lena had never been sure about much in her life before she had met Kara. She was doing what she thought her family had wanted. She was hoping for that to make her feel fulfilled, the emotion she longed for. She was hoping that one day she would feel like she actually mattered.
Then she had met Kara.
Thing were supposed to be over between them. They had been over.
Until now.
Lena couldn’t run from this.
Forgetting Kara had always been an impossibility.