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/ c h a r a/
The first timeline was… supremely weird.
Your SOUL was attached to this scared, purple-sweatered human who refused to speak in any language you understood (except sign) and did their best to leave, because their friends would worry.
That would’ve otherwise been fine , but then they tried talking to you.
You didn’t get it. Being your friend had only ever gotten people hurt. Why would this be any different? The kid ( who says their name is Frisk , of all the names on this Earth ) says it's pretty much exactly the same with them, so there’s nothing to lose, right? The logic bothered you, especially since it was an eight year old kid saying this, but you let it slide.
You became friends a little before Frisk died the first time. It was a weird one. You’d almost made it past the RUINS ( Mom, m o m , Frisk had tried to hold your translucent self close while you cried ) when, low on HP, Frisk dies to a froggit on the way.
You remember the fear, the utter panic of seeing them bleed out in front of you, and the way that the world turned black, as if this was some old pixel JRPG. You saw a girl, Jordan, who claimed that she was the player, of this...game.
Frisk was speaking now, in the player’s language, translating for you. You were furious, so furious. But instead the girl burst into tears and swore to keep you two as safe as possible as she learned to play it. Frisk had asked--
“Was everything before this a game as well?” and Jordan had said no, she didn’t know what had happened to the two of you before this. You went up to her and told her to make sure to never hurt anyone in the Underground, because this was your home. She smiled, corners of her mouth peeking out from a scarf bundled around her neck, pulled up, and promised you both.
So you went back, with an existential crisis and a new person on your team.
You died over two hundred times, as you, Frisk and Jordan did their best to figure out the nuances of this world.
( You will not, never think of Flowey as Asriel. Nonononono you did that to him )
But on try two hundred and two, you got out.
Jordan says her goodbyes Frisk cries (both of you cry), and you two exit the underground.
But everything goes so, so wrong.
You realise that you took a year to leave the underground this time, with all your staying for food, spending more time with Toriel and all, that it was already too late to do anything.
Frisk’s friends, Jacob and An-Li were dead, and died because they were too weak, and one rock to the head each was too much for both of them. Frisk’s mother was broken, broken beyond saving, and her brother had gone back home to look after his family. The world, hostile to monsterkind, and their only defence is a broken, nine-year old child, but itself at war with all of monsterkind, again.
Again.
You and Frisk end up in Foster care, but people stop coming to get them by the time they’re eleven. They weren’t bad families, per se, but they mostly forgot you were there.
( You held Frisk, as they cried, and couldn’t stop for the life of them )
( You barely, just barely stopped them when they were thirteen and tried escaping from this nightmare by jumping off the roof of the foster care building )
Eventually, a girl with silver hair came, rejected from her eighth foster home, and sat next to Frisk at lunch time. Her name was Sharia, and she wanted to go into the army, in hopes of finding a family, or some sort of companionship.
Frisk is sixteen, and they receive a certificate of adequate mental health, because they have learned how to heal, at least a little.
Frisk is twenty, and they and Sharia join the army.
Frisk is thirty-two, when both they and Sharia are gunned down by Toriel, not realising that she knew one of those soldiers.
(Mom, why? Would you have done it if it was me?)
Frisk dies again, and the world dissolves into pixels yet again, and you see Jordan, confused, as she asks you why she’s here again, six months after she finished the game. You tell her, and she sees Frisk, double her age, and the three of you hug, and scy, because you all know, that you’ll have to do this one more time, faster, to make sure that things don’t go so horribly wrong this time.
All three of you hit the RESET button, hearts in tandem once more.
One more time, with feeling. Let’s do this.
There’s renewed determination, as Frisk is eight years old again, with memories of another life, and old ones from yesterday (twenty four) years ago fresh in their mind once again.
If Toriel realises that you can’t look her in the eye during her fight, she doesn’t mention it. The memories of a gaze full of fury and utter bloodlust remain, and they hurt so, so much.
(Frisk doesn’t take the pie this time, and Jordan relents.)
They see Sans and Papyrus again, once a pile of dust in the wind, and Sans looks furious, until Frisk begs him to let them explain, and he learns about what happened, and he hugs all three of you, even though one body is the only one that is hugged. Papyrus offers you some spaghetti, and you eat RAVENOUSLY.
Undyne seems a little shocked that you dodge so well this time, and Alphys gets hugs from you all, and a little spur on.
You don’t even dare to let yourself think about anything after Hotland. It hurts way too much.
The only difference is that the asshole flower (NOT ASRIEL) decides to stay with you.
It’s only been a week, and An-Li and Jacob are still here, Emily is okay, Dan is still in Ebott, and the rest of Frisk’s world is still intact. This time negotiations can in fact be made, and things go better than they did last time.
When Asriel does come home, with some serious help from Alphys and some human scientists, Frisk tells him everything in the early hours of the morning, hot cocoa gripped at like a lifeline.
Frisk’s friends are good people, you figure, and they’re pretty much as quiet as the two of you. You become a silent addition to their little friend group, since two people have no clue that you exist.
Frisk is eleven, and the riots against the Monsters fade back, as Monsterkind assimilates into society properly. You can look at Toriel in the eye again.
Frisk is twelve, and the rest of the seven come back.
It’s surreal.
Frisk is thirteen, and you become a trio member on standby till you have a body, and that due date is looking closer and closer everyday. You just pray that Frisk can handle that degree of separation, because you’re used to simply not ever being apart now. It’s going to be hard. You don’t think you can do it anymore either.
Sometimes Jordan visits when you sleep, and you all become a pile of bodies smushed together, as you talk in hushed voices.
The Barrierfall ceremony is coming, and you’re honestly excited, now.
Because, this world, this person, is your home now, and you’re going to love it with all you’ve got.