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“Jeno,’' Renjun says oddly. Jeno’s mind begins to race, Renjun only ever says his name like that, all saccharine sweet when he wants something. He knows exactly what Renjun wants too.
Jeno has done everything humanly possible to avoid meeting Renjun’s new boyfriend. It’s a joke how long he’s managed to make it without ever meeting, or even seeing, Donghyuck in person.
“Jeno, do you want to go to that new coffee shop with me and Donghyuck? He’s bringing his best friend too, Yangyang. Please, " Renjun all but pouts, "You’re the only person who hasn’t met him yet. He and Jaemin got along well. I think you will too.”
Jaemin is a fucking traitor. And Jeno knows he can’t put it off any longer, especially if Donghyuck is bringing his best friend as some type of buffer. He doesn’t want to make another person be a third wheel, even if he doesn’t know him.
“That one by that boba place Taeyong hyung swears by?”
Renjun lights up. “Yeah, we’ve been meaning to go. You’ll love Donghyuck,” he insists.
Jeno really doesn’t believe him.
-
Jaemin comes home from his night class with groceries in one hand and fried chicken in the other.
“Renjun told me you’re finally meeting Hyuck on Friday,” he says.
Jeno sighs. “Yeah.”
“You really couldn’t have put it off any longer. I don’t know how he didn’t put it together that it’s not that you’re busy and it’s just that you don’t wanna see them. ”
“What’s he like?” Jeno asks. He honestly doesn’t want to know but he needs to know what to expect.
“He’s really great. Funny. Loud and bright. They seem kind of mismatched but he gives as good as Injun does, they really fit.”
“Jaem.”
“Renjun really likes him, Jeno,” he says sadly.
Jeno just shoves a wing in his mouth, unable to speak.
Jaemin takes that as an opening to continue. “I know it’s like the worst thing ever, but he really likes him. And Hyuck likes him a lot too. You should give him a chance.”
“I just want him to be happy,” Jeno replies. He keeps it to himself that he wants Renjun to be happy with him. He hates that such a selfish idea lives in the deep crevices of his mind.
“He is,” Jaemin replies. “You deserve to be too.”
Jeno doesn’t quite want to admit that Jaemin is right yet but he knows he is.
-
They agree to meet after Jeno’s last class on Friday. Renjun waits for him outside of his class and Jeno wonders if it’s because he thinks he would find a way out of it and wanted to make sure he would show up.
When they get to the coffee shop, the two of them are already there. Donghyuck looks just like he does in all the photos, somehow even better in person.
“Injunnie,” Donghyuck’s high voice whines out, “You’re late.”
Renjun just rolls his eyes, leaning up and giving Donghyuck a quick kiss. Jeno tries not to look away as if he’s been burned.
“I’m Donghyuck, it’s nice to finally meet you,” he says. Jeno doesn’t like the judgment in his voice.
“It’s nice to meet you too,” Jeno replies with what he hopes is a genuine smile. When he looks next to Donghyuck, he sees his friend, thin and small with floppy dark red hair looking at Renjun and Donghyuck with an odd look. He quickly turns to Jeno, smiling impossibly bright.
“I’m Yangyang,” he says. He reminds Jeno of sunshine.
He saw how Yangyang looks at Donghyuck. That look of adoration that quickly gets shoved away. He imagines it’s the same way he looks at Renjun. The creeping of jealousy whenever Donghyuck smiles at Renjun is something Jeno understands.
They sit and talk for a little bit before Donghyuck and Renjun leave to get them their drinks.
“They just want to be alone together,” Yangyang says as they watch them leave.
There’s an edge to his voice as he says it and that? That’s something that Jeno finds familiar.
Jeno wants to say something, about how he noticed how Yangyang looks at Donghyuck, about how he gets it and how weird it is but he doesn’t know how to approach it. How do you ask if someone is in love with their best friend, who clearly is happy with someone else?
Before Jeno can even think of something to say, Yangyang gives him an odd look that makes him feel like Yangyang knows everything he’s ever thought about Renjun.
“You’re in love with him aren’t you,” Yangyang says.
Jeno nervously fiddles with his hands. “So are you,” he replies quietly.
He doesn’t know what he really expects Yangyang to say in reply to that but he starts to laugh, turning into a series of loud giggles that somehow makes him smile too. Like sunshine, his mind fills in.
“Give me your phone. God this is like the Spider-man meme,” Yangyang says as Jeno hands over his phone and Yangyang adds his number. Jeno hears the curl of the accent around his Korean the way Renjun’s sounds. “How embarrassing.”
It makes Jeno smile. It’s the weirdest and probably most memorable way he’s ever met someone.
“Well,” Renjun asks him as they leave the coffee shop.
“What?”
He rolls his eyes. “Donghyuck. What did you think of him?”
Jeno sees the worry in his eyes and realizes just how much he cares about Jeno’s opinion. He wants to say so many things, he wants to tell him that he could do better. He wants to fucking scream that he’s right here . But Jeno is kind and good and he finally was forced to see firsthand how Renjun glows around Donghyuck. He refuses to get in the way of Renjun’s happiness, no matter how much it sucks for him.
“He’s nice,” he replies quietly.
Renjun smiles widely in a way Jeno only sees him do lately if it involves Donghyuck. The joy that Donghyuck brings him looks good on him.
-
Jeno begins talking to Yangyang a lot or really, Yangyang begins talking to him a lot. He’s another bundle of concentrated chaos that Jeno seems to attract as friends. He has always just gone along with the flow—he’s happy to get dragged into conversations with him.
They begin to hang out a lot too, their classes tend to overlap so they’ll go to the library and study together, taking turns going to the coffee shop near campus and getting drinks before each session.
Jeno is relieved he has someone else to talk to other than Jaemin. It’s nice having someone else who knows about his feelings for Renjun but also someone who understands what it’s like having to deal with having unrequited feelings. After Jeno gave his hesitant approval about Donghyuck it seems like Renjun has disappeared, spending all of his time with him. It sucks, he misses him.
Yangyang will mention it too, how Donghyuck will blow him off to hang out with Renjun.
“I’m not like, mad about it, really. It sucks but I get it. He’s happy and that’s what matters. I just wish he would still make time for me,” Yangyang says in the library when Jeno mentions that he thought Yangyang had plans with Donghyuck.
“Young love, you know?”
There’s not as much hurt in his face as there used to be when he would talk about them, as if it’s getting easier for him to deal with. Jeno isn’t sure if he’s in the same place as him, but spending time with other people has been helping. Getting to know Yangyang has definitely helped.
-
Yangyang sends him weird absurdist memes and cat videos all the time.
“Who are you texting? Renjun?” Jaemin asks as they watch YouTube videos.
“No,” Jeno says, a wide smile on his face. “Yangyang? Donghyuck’s best friend. He sent me a cute cat photo. Why?”
Jaemin’s eyebrows go up at that. “Huh, okay. Just wondering.”
He turns his phone towards him, “Look at this cat. He’s so cute.”
Jaemin nods, “I really don’t think you’re smiling like that because of that cat, but sure.”
Jeno pouts. “What does that mean?”
Jaemin gets up and heads into the kitchen, “You’ll figure it out, I hope.”
-
Jeno finally gets to spend time with Renjun, who shows up with his previously silver dyed hair now a light pastel pink. It’s cute, really cute. But for the first time, Jeno realizes his heart doesn’t pang the way it usually does around Renjun. It catches him off guard, the lack of a real reaction he feels other than thinking I’m excited to finally hang out with my best friend for the first time in a while.
He pays for their boba and they catch up for a bit.
“I’m going out with Donghyuck and his friends tomorrow night, do you want to come with us? You should ask Jaemin too.”
“I thought you don’t like things like that?”
“It’s fun,” Renjun shrugs. “Donghyuck’s friends are pretty cool, you and Jaemin would definitely like them.”
“Yeah, I’ll go. I’ll ask Jaem later.”
Donghyuck brings out a different side of Renjun that Jeno has never gotten to see before. There’s a quiet confidence in his words and body language. Renjun has never been meek or anything like that but he seems more sure of himself, as if he’s owning the space he’s always taken up. He can tell it's because of Donghyuck, it's the same air he has around him. It's probably the most concrete way he's seen how Donghyuck is good for him.
-
Jeno knows he’s an idiot and regrets it the second he agrees to go. It turns out Jaemin can’t go, he has a date and Jeno can’t back out. It’s going to suck but he really wants to spend time with Renjun. He shows up at the address Renjun texts him to go to for pregaming. He’s relieved when Yangyang opens the door. Maybe he won’t be so lonely all night.
Yangyang echoes his feelings, pulling Jeno into a tight hug. He’s always been aware of how tiny Yangyang is but he never really realized just how tiny until he has him in his arms.
Yangyang is cute. Jeno isn’t sure how he hasn’t noticed it until now. There’s a pang in his chest that he refuses to acknowledge.
“I didn’t think you were coming,” Yangyang says into Jeno’s chest, ”Thank God you’re here.”
It confuses Jeno. “What do you mean? I told Renjun I was.”
Yangyang pulls away and sighs, “Hyuck said you wouldn’t come?”
He suddenly feels unwelcome. “I told Renjun I would come,” he says quietly.
“I told Hyuck I wanted to invite you but he said Renjun was gonna. I’m glad you’re here though. He’s been weird lately,” he notes, looping his arm through Jeno’s. “It’s whatever though. You’ll hang out with me all night, right? You can meet my friends.”
Jeno nods and the anxiety beginning to build in his chest dissipates with the warmth of Yangyang’s skin on his.
Jeno ends up with a drink mixed by Yangyang in his hand and surrounded by Yangyang and his friends on the couch, not wanting to look for Renjun quite yet.
“That’s Hendery, Xuxi, and Dejun.”
The rest of Yangyang and friends are great, making Jeno feel welcomed and at ease despite what Yangyang said about Donghyuck.
He ends up with a drink in his hand when he finally sees Renjun and Donghyck across the room, sitting with a group of people that Jeno doesn’t recognize.
The second Donghyuck spots him, his eyes widen in surprise before narrowing. Jeno nods at him in acknowledgment, trying his best to not look at how Renjun is clinging onto him and laughing at something someone else says. He finally looks away and goes back to Yangyang who just scoots closer to him.
Every time it seems like his attention is able to shift onto whatever Renjun and Donghyuck are doing, Yangyang is there to distract him, whether it’s dragging him back into the conversation or grabbing his arm or thigh when he begins to laugh loudly.
He’s so focused on the way Hendery and Yangyang are bickering in a mix of Korean and Chinese, trying to figure out what's happening, that he doesn’t even notice Renjun approaching until he’s sitting next to him.
“Jeno-yah,” Renjun says happily, “You came!”
“Said I would,” Jeno replies, a smile not quite reaching his eyes.
“Hyuck thought you wouldn’t, I don’t know why.”
Renjun’s attention turns to the conversation Hendery and Yangyang are having and he says something in Chinese that makes them both stop and stare at him with their jaws dropped.
Renjun just smiles, tapping Jeno’s thigh, “I’m getting another drink, come hang out with me and Hyuck too.”
Jeno nods, wondering how he can get out of this the same way he got out of meeting Donghyuck for so long.
Instead, he follows Renjun over to where Donghyuck is sitting with three of his friends.
“Hyungs,” Renjun says, “This is Jeno, my best friend. Jeno, this is Mark, Jungwoo, and Jaehyun.”
“Hey,” he says shyly, feeling like he’s being thoroughly examined by them.
He’s cornered by Donghyuck when he goes to the bathroom, Donghyuck shoving him in and locking the door behind him.
“I don’t like you,” Donghyuck says matter-of-factly.
Jeno is way too drunk for this shit.
“Okay,” he replies honestly, “That’s fine.”
“I don’t like you because you like Renjun and Yangyang-- you don’t even see it.”
Jeno feels the anger build up in him. “I don’t think I’ve ever given you a reason to think that even if I did like Renjun like that,” he says pointedly, “which I don’t, it would affect your relationship with him.”
Donhyuck eyes him warily.
Jeno sighs, “Look Donghyuck, you make Renjun happy and that’s what matters to me. I really could not give a fuck if you hate me. Now get out of the fucking bathroom, I have to piss.”
When Donghyuck leaves, Jeno immediately locks the door behind him and splashes water on his face. He also realizes that his first thought when Donghyuck accused him of having feelings for Renjun was to say he doesn’t. It’s weird. And if he was too drunk to deal with Donghyuck, he’s definitely too drunk to deal with whatever revelation he’s having right now.
As Jeno hits the lightswitch and leaves the bathroom, he wonders why Donghyuck brought up Yangyang.
“Did something happen,” Yangyang asks curiously, “I saw Donghyuck follow you.”
“He told me he didn’t like me because he thinks I like Renjun.”
Yangyang freezes. “Well, I didn’t expect that.”
They’re quiet for a minute while Yangyang pours two doubles of vodka, careful not to spill them before making them both vodka cranberries.
“What’d you tell him?” Yangyang asks, oddly quiet compared to how he was just a second ago.
“I told him that he makes Renjun happy and that’s what matters to me. I uh, also told him I didn’t give a fuck if he hated me? And told him to fuck off out of the bathroom.”
Jeno flushes. If Donghyuck tells Renjun what happened he’s gonna be pissed. “Fuck, I shouldn’t have said that.”
Yangyang lets out a loud laugh and takes a sip of his drink. “He deserves it.”
Jeno isn’t sure what he means by that but when he goes to ask, Yangyang just shoves a drink in his hand.
“Drink up Jeno, we’ve got a long night ahead of us,” he says, a grin on his face that Jeno thinks is hiding a hell of a lot more than what Yangyang is saying.
Yangyang doesn’t leave his side the entire night. He sticks to his side when they talk to Renjun, Donghyuck, and his friends before they leave the apartment. He still doesn’t really get what happened with Donghyuck but it seems like whatever he said may have been right. He isn’t acting any differently, still treating Jeno with indifference but it doesn’t seem as cold as before. Yangyang is next to him with Kunhang on his other side when they ride the subway to the club Jaehyun can get them into for free.
They manage to get in but it’s so crowded that they have to split up into two groups, Jeno being pulled away immediately with Yangyang.
“I said you’d hang out with me all night,” Yangyang teases as he links their arms.
“I don’t mind,” Jeno replies honestly, “Would rather.”
An odd look appears on Yangyang’s face but disappears just as quickly as it showed up, not giving Jeno any time at all to try to figure out what it means.
Jeno quickly realizes that Yangyang, Dejun, Hendery, and Yukhei all cycle through languages when they’re drunk, just like he and Hendery did before at the apartment. They do their best to speak mostly in Korean for his sake but then it’ll devolve into Mandarin and what he thinks must be Cantonese randomly. He doesn’t mind though, he’s having fun with them and when they catch that they’re not speaking Korean they’ll apologize and switch back. It’s nice having Yangyang next to him, tapping out different beats on his glass, the table, Jeno’s arm that’s on the table, anywhere he can reach. He can also hear him sing and rap along to the music under his breath, taking up all of Jeno’s senses.
He finishes the drink that was put in front of him and as the four of them accidentally switch back into Mandarin again, he wonders when he decided that he would rather have Yangyang next to him, glancing at him making sure he’s still having a good time.
“I also don’t know what’s happening when they switch to Canto,” Yangyang says happily.
Yangyang taps a rhythmic pattern to The Weeknd song playing loudly on his thigh and Jeno is relieved he can blame his blush on the alcohol.
-
Jeno spends days living in the library. It fucking sucks, especially because thoughts of the other weekend, of Yangyang, keep creeping into his mind and he really cannot spare a single thought for that yet. He instead spends a stupid amount of time studying for the Contemporary Art exam he has Thursday. His professor is a nightmare, needlessly harsh but unavoidable in his major. The class always ends up getting curved but he doesn’t stand a chance unless he passes this test, or least just barely fails.
So he sucks it up. He drinks Jaemin’s battery acid coffee order for days and tries to focus on the notes and books scattered on the table he camps at each day in the library so he can at least try to pass. He all but vanishes, only seeing Jaemin at their apartment, and occasionally replying to the memes Yangyang sends him to keep him sane.
He walks out of class the day of the test frustrated to all hell. One of his friends, Soobin, walks out with him too, complaining too.
“That was absolute bullshit,” Soobin says, sounding annoyed.
“Yeah,” Jeno says exasperated, “Half of that wasn’t covered in class? Or on his outline for what was gonna be on it.”
“For real,” Soobin replies. “I’ll see you next week, I guess.”
Jeno nods, bidding him goodbye and pulls out his phone to text Yangyang.
Jeno
failed that test i was worried about
be nice to me :(
Yangyang
:(
come thru bb
[address]
Jeno
omw (:
As Jeno heads to the address Yangyang sent him, he realizes it’s the same place that they pregamed at the other weekend. Suddenly it makes sense why Yangyang was the one who opened the door.
“Yo,” Yangyang says, drowning in a grey pullover and shorts, with his bangs pulled back into a tiny ponytail sticking straight up, when he opens the door. “I got us boba from the place across the street, sorry about your test.”
Maybe it’s a little dramatic but Jeno feels like he’s going to cry. It’s just nice of him. Unexpected and nice .
“You’re the best, don’t tell Jaemin,” he says smiling genuinely for the first time all day. “Can we watch something and cuddle?”
Yangyang flushes. “Yeah, go sit in the living room. I'll grab the boba and some snacks.”
“I probably should have asked you what your order was but I just guessed, sorry if it sucks.”
Jeno stares at the drink, wondering if his face is the same shade as it. “I love strawberry milk tea, what made you get it?”
Yangyang shrugs, “it’s cute, I just thought it made sense.”
Jeno happily takes a sip, it’s not as sweet as he usually orders but he’s more than thrilled that he actually has it. Yangyang ends up putting his legs across Jeno’s lap, handing him the remote.
“Find something to put on, I’m not picky.”
Yangyang’s laugh is infectious. It’s loud, all teeth and closed eyes. Sometimes Jeno feels like he’s being blinded when he somehow makes Yangyang laugh like this, as if he’s staring straight at the sun, unable to look away. He wonders when the butterflies in his stomach he used to feel around Renjun started to only happen around Yangyang.
He can’t help but compare the two of them. Yangyang is so wildly different. Loud where Renjun is quiet. Thinking and speaking at 100 miles an hour constantly while Renjun only gets close to that when he’s excited.
Even Yangyang’s quiet is loud. Jeno likes how he fills their silence with jokes and comments on the episode of Adventure Time they’re watching. He also really likes how Yangyang lets Jeno cuddle into him, occasionally tapping on his arm in a fit of excess energy.
-
Jaemin finally meets Yangyang one night when Jeno and Yangyang are at their apartment watching a Game Grumps video on the TV in the living room. They get along stupidly well, and Jeno is more than relieved about it.
"I like him," Jaemin says after Yangyang leaves. "He's loud and chaotic. I love those two things. I specifically love those two things for you to deal with."
"Yeah," Jeno replies, "He's pretty great."
Jaemin gives him a look and Jeno feels like he's missing something again.
He wonders if it has to do with how he has to acknowledge the way his heart skips a beat when Yangyang looks at him at some point.
-
Jeno honestly feels a little confused about Yangyang. He’s not sure if it’s just an innocent crush or it’s something that could grow into something more, like what he feels about Renjun. Even that is now a huge question mark. What does he feel for Renjun? At this point, he wonders if he’s just holding onto something familiar. It feels like a crutch, he knows, he’s always known that his feelings wouldn’t be reciprocated but they still comforted him.
He craves stability. He wonders if that’s why he’s clinging to his feelings for Renjun so fervently, even as his thoughts more and more often begin to drift to Yangyang. He likes knowing, being told things clearly and concisely.
Jeno wishes he could just shake a magic-8 ball and be told the answers he needs. Am I over Renjun, he would ask and he’d shake the ball and be told yes. Do I have legitimate feelings for Yangyang? All signs point to yes.
It probably means something that the answers he wants to those questions are yes.
Instead, he’s sitting at the kitchen table on his laptop, staring at an empty word document where there should be words for an essay on how the Abstract Expressionists were just a tool for American Imperialism, wondering why he can’t answer his own questions.
“Oh holy shit,” Jeno says out of nowhere.
Jaemin looks up from his laptop, concerned.
“I don’t have feelings for Renjun anymore.”
“No, you don’t,” Jaemin confirms. “You’ve definitely known that, Jeno. For a while now.”
“Because I have feelings for Yangyang?”
Jaemin snorts. “Yes, because you have feelings for Yangyang.”
“I am… am I stupid?”
“You are so stupid. I can’t even begin to describe how stupid you are about your feelings right now.”
“Fuck.”
“Not fuck,” Jaemin says, the grin on his face growing and growing as Jeno flounders. “You’re gonna tell the loud chaos demon that you have feelings for him and explain that it's not a rebound type of thing and that you genuinely like him. He’s probably gonna be loud when he reciprocates, and then you guys can kiss or whatever gay shit you wanna do.”
Jeno flushes. “But-”
“Absolutely not. I am a genius , Lee Jeno. I am essentially cupid, it’s gonna go fine. I saw how he looks at you, idiot.”
Jeno sits in silence for a few minutes. “Do you think he’d like flowers?”
Jaemin smiles widely. “I think he would definitely like them if they’re from you.”
Before Jeno commits to confessing to Yangyang, he decides to hang out with him and pay attention to how he acts around him. It’s not that he doesn’t trust Jaemin, he’s probably right but he wants to make sure that Yangyang would actually be ready for what Jeno wants to ask of him.
They do what they usually do, get coffee and study but this time he pays attention. He’s a fucking idiot.
Yangyang is constantly looking at him with a soft gaze that seems to betray the volume and amount of noise that comes out of his mouth whenever he talks. Each time Jeno feels the weight of Yangyang’s gaze on him when he’s not paying attention, he looks up and meets his eye. Yangyang never looks away though. Instead, he just smiles at him, a soft private smile that he’s never seen him give anyone else.
He leaves the coffee shop knowing he’s going to confess.
-
Jeno wonders if Renjun knows what happened that night with Donghyuck. He’s not acting any different though so he thinks he’s in the clear. And he’s sure that what he wants to tell him will definitely dispel any ideas that Donghyuck has.
“I’m gonna confess to Yangyang,” Jeno tells Renjun. They’ve been hanging out more and more, Renjun finally leaving that phase of only wanting to see Donghyuck.
“You are?” Renjun asks. “Why?”
The question catches Jeno off guard. “Because I like him?”
“I didn’t realize you were spending that much time with him.”
“Well I’ve barely seen you lately, Injun,” Jeno responds. He hopes it doesn’t come across as accusatory but really, Jeno misses his best friend.
“That’s not true, I last saw you— Oh.”
“Yeah,” Jeno replies quietly.
“You should have said something,” Renjun replies.
How could he have? When he still had feelings for Renjun he would have felt guilty saying anything.
“I didn’t know how to bring it up. And there was never a chance to talk to you about it since I’ve barely gotten to see you Injun. And when I did, I didn’t want to bring the mood down. I just wanted to spend time with my best friend.”
“Shit,” Renjun says quietly, “I’ve been really shitty to you lately. I’m sorry.”
"It's okay," Jeno replies. He really does mean it. It is okay. He knows Renjun didn't mean anything malicious about it, instead just getting wrapped up in Donghyuck.
"It's not," Renjun insists. "I'll do better."
Jeno believes him. He can't help the way he smiles widely at that.
“Injun," Jeno says before they split up at the train station, "Can I get Donghyuck’s number? I want to ask him something.”
Renjun's eyes widen in surprise but he passes it along and the two split off to their respective train lines.
Jeno is still reeling from the conversation with Renjun. He texts Donghyuck once he's on the train, sitting with his airpods playing a Frank Ocean song that Yangyang recommended.
Jeno
Hey it’s Jeno, I got your number from Renjun
I was wondering if you have some time to meet up?
Donghyuck
????
Sure?
Library tomorrow at 4
Jeno
Sounds good :)
Donghyuck
Bring me an iced coffee
Jeno finds Donghyuck in the back of the library, in a fairly deserted corner.
“Hey,” he says awkwardly as he takes a seat across from him, “Here’s your iced coffee.”
Donghyuck stares at him. “I didn’t think you would actually do it?”
Jeno flushes with embarrassment. “Oh.”
“What do you want, Jeno?” he says, getting straight to the point.
Jeno takes a breath but he instead blurts out, “I wanna confess to Yangyang and I was thinking about getting him flowers because I feel like he’d like them? But I wasn’t sure if he actually hates them or if he’s allergic or something so I wanted to ask you.”
Donghyuck tilts his head and narrows his eyes at Jeno. “You could have just texted me that, why did you want to meet up?”
He had a feeling that he would ask him something like that. “I think we got off on the wrong foot.”
“Did Renjun put you up to this?” he asks.
“No," Jeno insists, "I wanted to do this. I don't want there to be any animosity or something in between us for a shitty reason.”
“Okay,” Donghyuck says, his iciness melting away, “So talk.”
“I had feelings for Renjun but really, I never wanted to get in the way of you and him. You made him happy and he kinda just lights up around you. I never wanted to get in the way of that. And then I met Yangyang and we really hit it off. I guess I was just used to having feelings for Renjun so it took me a while to really realize that I didn’t anymore.”
“When I confronted you at Yang’s,” Donghyuck starts, “It was because he was constantly talking about you and I was just mad that you didn’t like him back. I was just like, kinda really tipsy and kept seeing how Yang would look at you with these wide ass adoring eyes. It was annoying. When you yelled at me I was shocked, I didn’t know you were capable of getting mad from everything Injun has said about you.”
Jeno smiles sheepishly. “I’m really sorry about that. I shouldn’t have yelled at you. I felt bad right away.”
Donghyuck smiles, probably genuinely for the first time directed at Jeno. “I deserved it. But I’m glad I got you to do that. I think it changed my mind about you.”
“What do you mean?”
“Because you weren’t lying when you said you didn’t like him,” he says plainly. “You didn’t look at him the way you did when we first met. Yangyang loves flowers, I have no idea how you knew that. His favorites are sunflowers and roses.”
Jeno beams. “Thank you.”
-
Jeno ends up at the florist that Taeyong works for after getting the address from Doyoung.
“Hey Taeyong hyung,” Jeno says when he sees his pink hair peeking up from under the counter.
“Jeno-yah, what are you doing here,” he asks curiously.
“I uhm, I need a bouquet of flowers.”
Taeyong smiles sweetly. “Do you know what flowers you want?”
"He likes sunflowers. And roses?”
“Cute,” Taeyong coos. “I can throw something together for you. Are you seeing him tonight? Or do you wanna pick it up tomorrow or something?”
Jeno freezes and takes out his phone. “Let me see if he’s free?”
Jeno
yy are you busy rn?
Yangyang
never for u jenoooo what up
Jeno
wanna hang out?
Yangyang
ya come thru bb xo
“I guess it’s for now?”
Taeyong smiles, “Cool, gimme a few minutes.”
Jeno leaves the flower shop with a bouquet of sunflowers and orange roses in his hands and his confidence beginning to wane. Realistically he knows it’ll be okay, but it's fucking scary. He spends the entire 30-minute train ride trying to convince himself that it really will be okay.
Yangyang opens the door with a grin on his face. Jeno is suddenly overwhelmed. He remembers his first impression of him, how he was sunshine and it’s the only thought running through his mind.
“Here,” Jeno says, holding the bouquet out to Yangyang whose jaw is dropped in surprise. It's not quite a confession yet, but he hopes he gets what he's building the courage to get to.
“These are for me?” He says softly in a way that Jeno has never heard Yangyang speak.
“Yeah. Is that okay?”
Yangyang nods enthusiastically, gently cradling the bouquet against his chest. “No one has ever gotten me flowers before. This is the best.”
Jeno smiles full and bright, his eyes turning into crescents.
Yangyang reaches out to him and pulls him to the kitchen, where he carefully puts the flowers into a vase.
“Did you know I like flowers or was it a lucky guess?”
“Lucky guess,” Jeno confesses. “But I also asked Donghyuck. I just thought they’d suit you.”
He’s not sure why he hadn’t noticed it until now. He catches Yangyang looking at him with such fondness. Instead of turning away, he smiles brightly.
He puts his hands on Yangyang’s thin waist, pulling him closer.
“Is this okay?” Jeno asks.
“Depends,” Yangyang says, a grin on his face, “You gonna kiss me, Jeno?”
Jeno flushes bright red and nods.
Yangyang smiles that smile-- all teeth and closed eyes. Jeno doesn’t feel like he’s blinded looking at it this time though. Instead, he feels warmth and affection emitting from him.
Jeno moves his hands from Yangyang’s waist to his face, carefully cupping his cheeks before finally leaning in and kissing him. It’s chaste, just a peck, or at least it is until Yangyang pushes up into him.
When Yangyang pulls away, he’s still smiling beatifically. “I’ve wanted to kiss you for ages.”
"I really like you," Jeno says.
"Good," Yangyang replies, "Because I really like you too."
Jeno is caught off guard by how easy it is with Yangyang. He assumed it would be awkward as fuck talking about their feelings, especially considering how they became friends because of their feelings for their respective best friends, but it made it easier because they both understood. Yangyang easily tells him about how moving on from Donghyuck was easy, even more so because Jeno was there.
"You were just so cute," Yangyang says, lacing his fingers with Jeno's making him blush wildly, "You remind me of an adorable giant puppy. I like spending time with you and I couldn't help it."
"I feel like an idiot for not realizing sooner," Jeno confesses.
Yangyang just shrugs it off, "I mean, you got there eventually."
-
Jeno and Yangyang supposed to be at a noraebang 30 minutes from Yangyang's apartment in 5 minutes. Instead, they’re in a deserted alleyway around the corner from the train station.
“We’re gonna be late,” Jeno says, pulling away from Yangyang.
“We’re already late,” he replies mischievously, “Fuck them.”
Jeno laughs and kisses Yangyang again. “Injun’s gonna kill us.”
Yangyang just giggles loudly and Jeno is so glad that he gets to listen to that constantly. Just as Yangyang pulls Jeno’s face down to his, both of their phones go off.
“Tell them we’re running late. Make up a good reason,” Yangyang whines.
Jeno unlocks his phone and laughs when he sees the message from Donghyuck.
“They’re running late too, apparently Renjun got held up at his group meeting.”
“Oh that’s a pretty good excuse,” Yangyang says, “Remember that for us for next time.”
“It’s not an excuse,” Jeno informs him. Renjun actually did have a group meeting, he knows because all he does is complain about his group mates who never show up with their part of their semester-long project done at each meeting they have.
Yangyang just grins, all teeth and chaos. “It’s still a good one, Jeno.”
Jeno kisses him one last time, mostly to shut him up and a little bit because he can.
“Come on,” he says, pulling away from Yangyang and dragging him towards the station, “We have to meet up with our best friends.”
Yangyang squeezes his hand. The unexpected warmth cuts through the chill settling in the night, just like the grin that Yangyang gives him. Like sunshine.