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You had known Jung Hoseok for most of your life. You had played in the sandpit together at school, played with his friends, who were also your friend's thanks to your twin brother Yoongi, and seeing the boys around your house was a regular occurrence. Things had been simple, back then. Playing with boys hadn’t seemed like a big deal, not when you had your best girls too, like Rosé and Momo. Out of all of your brother’s friends, you liked Hoseok the best. He was so kind, funny, and bright. Everyone said he was like the sun, and it was easy to draw comparisons to the bright warm star in space. This only got more apparent as you got older, and things in life got more complicated - but Hoseok never changed.
At only the age of twelve, another boy in your class called Jinyoung was teasing you badly. You were easy to tease, you got so frustrated easily, and got worked up about the smallest things. Your mother had told you it was your worst trait, but you ignored her, and continued to be bothered, especially when Jinyoung was calling you names and goading you to an outburst. It didn’t take much for you to snap. You stabbed him in the arm with a pencil, much to your teacher’s dismay and horror, and you were hauled to the headteacher’s office whilst Jinyoung was taken to the medical office.
“Why did you do it, Y/n?” The headmaster asked you, peering down at you from his glasses. You shrugged, petulantly not looking him in the eye. “You know I’m going to have to give you a detention for this, Y/n. That’s your fifth one this term. You know what happens next, don’t you?” You hung your head in shame, not turning when the door burst open behind you. “Wait, sir! You can’t blame Y/n, it wasn’t her fault, it was Jinyoung! He was provoking her, Sir, I swear!” Hoseok was saying desperately, his eyes flitting between you and the headmaster. The headmaster raised his eyebrows. “Be as that may, young man, Y/n has been in trouble before. She needs to be punished somehow.”
“Punish me instead.” Hoseok pleaded. Your eyes found his as he spoke, your heart fluttering as you realised what he was suggesting.
“No, Hoseok. I can’t ask you to do that.” You said softly, a voice you seemed to only reserve for him. “I will take whatever punishment you see fit,” You said bravely. The headmaster nodded, observing the two of you. “Fine. You can both go back to class. If anything else happens, Y/n…” He didn’t finish his threat: he didn’t have to. You nodded and stood quickly, grabbing Hoseok’s hand and getting the heck out of there.
“I’m sorry, Hoseok. You didn’t have to help though, really, I would have been fine.” You said to Hoseok as you walked back to your classroom.
“I wanted to help. I know it’s not your fault that you get angry sometimes. I don’t think you should have to change that, though. It makes you… well, you.” Hoseok said, smiling. You sighed with a small smile on your lips.
“Thanks, Hoseok. I’m just glad you never make me angry.”
“Well, that’s why we’re friends.” He replied, smiling at you. You smiled back, and you knew it would be fine.
15 years old
You had finally discovered your passion: for singing. You had always loved singing, of course. You sang around the house, you sang loudly in the shower (much to the dismay of your parents) - and all you had ever wanted to do was to sing. So, when you were giving the opportunity to sing in front of your whole class, you figured, why not?
You should have known you would freeze. Your voice came out clear at first, with surprised looks being passed around, but then you hit the sustained note, and it came out broken and jagged, like a broken record. You felt the tears slide down your face as people’s expressions changed, your own brother laughing in the corner. Without even finishing the song, you rushed out of the room, your vision blurry from the tears.
You maybe should have also known that Hoseok would run after you. He found you in your favourite spot, on the roof of the school, which had become a garden for biology club. You often snuck up there to catch your breath, and escape from everything. Hoseok was one of the only people who knew about the spot. He found you almost immediately after you had settled down on the bench situated near the edge of the roof, giving you a perfect view over your city. “Hey.” He greeted you, sitting down next to you.
‘I don’t want to talk about it, Hoseok. I messed up. I know I did. I saw everyone laughing, or worse, feeling sorry for me.” You said, refusing to look up.
“I didn’t. I just was disappointed.”
“Disappointed?” You repeated, confused.
“Yeah. I would have loved for you to show everyone in that class how amazing you are at singing. I’m disappointed that you couldn’t prove that to them.” Hoseok explained. You nodded thoughtfully. “I suppose your right. I should probably find another opportunity. To prove myself right, I mean.”
“You definitely should.” Hoseok agreed. "You are so talented. I hope you never stop having the opportunity to shine." You went quiet, unsure what to respond with. Not another word was spoken, and fortunately, not another word needed to be said. Hoseok had a way of making you feel fine, just with the way he said things. He understood you in a way not many did. You hoped you wouldn’t take it for granted.
16 Years Old
The older you got, the less time you spent with your brother’s friends. That seemed to be the natural order of things, as boys separated from girls in more distinct ways, and feelings grew. Being 16 was difficult. Hormones were raging, and yet whilst most people were getting into relationships, you were in love with the same guy you had loved since you were 7; Jung Hoseok. He was still your friend, and you knew you could count on him, just as you had when you were younger. Puberty had hit you hard, and you found that the boys who had teased you when you were younger were now looking at you in a completely different way, staring at your legs and imagining what was under your skirt. It may have irked you, but you only had eyes for one man, who didn’t seem to draw the same kinds of attention that some of his other friends had, like his friend Taehyung who was extremely popular amongst the female students. Hoseok didn’t seem to be like that, however. You had no idea who he liked, and whilst you secretly hoped it was you, you never asked. You feared rejection, just like anyone would. You hadn’t even told any of your closest friends about your crush on Hoseok.
In hindsight, that was the mistake.
It had been at one of the popular student’s house party, Jackson Wang, who was extremely well known across your school and had invited most of your year group. You had been extremely nervous to go, but you figured if you plied yourself with enough alcohol you would be fine, since most people drank at these things, including you and your friends. One of Yoongi’s friends, Jungkook, was going to drive all of you to the party in his mum’s minivan, which seemed overcrowded, but you were all excited, especially your friends Rosé and Momo. This better be the time we all get boyfriends.” Momo whispered as you all clambered into the van. “Fingers crossed,” you whispered back, smiling at Hoseok who was in the front of the van with your brother.
You arrived at the party, which was fortunately already in full swing as you got out. You stuck with Momo and Rosé as you entered Jackson’s huge house, the music loudly blaring. “I’ll go find some cups!” You shouted to Momo and Rosé over the loud music, who nodded nervously. You strode towards the kitchen, trying to appear more confident than you felt. You weren’t sure how that was working out. Just as you were picking up some plastic cups, a hand reached out, making you jump back in surprise. “Woah, woah. I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to scare you.” A voice said. You turned to find Namjoon, another of Yoongi’s friends, someone that you found very easy to get along with. “Oh, Namjoon. No worries. Do you want a cup?” You offered. Namjoon smiled.
“Sure. Thanks.” He said. You offered him a cup.
“So, have you got any plans for this evening?” Namjoon asked you, rubbing the back of his neck somewhat awkwardly. You grinned at his awkwardness. “Actually, I was gonna get these cups back to Rosé and Momo. Do you wanna come?” You asked. Namjoon nodded with a smile, his nervous energy slowly dissipating. You led him back to your friends, who were chatting away to Jackson. “Hi, Y/n, Namjoon. Good to see you guys.” Jackson greeted you, grinning.
“Hey. Great party, bro.” Namjoon said.
“Yeah. It’s tight.” Jackson said breezily, winking at Momo. “Anyway, I’m gonna go and check Bambam is behaving himself. I’m sure I saw Jinyoung giving him a few shots earlier. Have a good evening, guys!” Jackson said, grinning as he headed off. Rosé giggled as he walked off, rolling her eyes. “He surely is something, huh?”
“He’s so confident. I wish I could be a bit more like that.” Momo said softly, her eyes getting a dreamy look.
“You can be, Momo.” You said reassuringly.
“Maybe if someone gave me a chance. But I am so terminally single it hurts.” Momo said, frustrated.
“Hey. We’re all in the same boat, Momo. You’re not alone. And who knows? Maybe we will all get lucky tonight.” Rosé said. The girls then looked up suddenly, spotting that Namjoon was still hovering between you all nervously, and somewhat awkwardly, feeling like the conversation had turned to something he shouldn’t be privy to. “Lets go dance!” You declared loudly, dragging your friends to where people were gyrating in the middle of the room. You all threw yourselves around, enjoying the music and most importantly, enjoying the bitter taste of the alcohol Namjoon obligingly made sure was constantly filled, from all of you. One thing led to another, and you somehow found your lips landing on Namjoon’s, who had been by your side the whole evening.
The second your lips parted, you felt regret and horror. You apologised profusely to Namjoon, but the damage was done.
You didn’t see Hoseok staring at you both from across the room. You missed the hurt and disappointment gracing his features.
What you did see, about half an hour later, was something else entirely.
You saw Rosé kissing Hoseok, their lips tentatively finding each others, and you felt everything come crashing down on you. You left the room, your eyes stinging with tears as you tried to forget. You vaguely heard Momo calling your name, and possibly Namjoon, but you ignored it. Instead, you locked yourself in the bathroom and tried not to cry.
You called your mother to pick you up. “What's wrong, honey? Are you not having fun?”
“Something like that.”
“Ok, I’ll be there as soon as possible, doll. Hang tight.” You hung up the phone, and ignoring everyone else at the party, you waited until your mum showed up, immediately jumping in the car without saying goodbye, only offering a quick text to Momo claiming to have felt ill before leaving so no one would worry.
What a fucking mistake the night had been.
Your mother had glanced at you with concern the whole car ride home, but you refused to say anything about what had happened, only saying that you felt things had got out of hand. As soon as you got home, you collapsed immediately on your bed, pulling out your songwriting diary, tears falling as you wrote down your thoughts, scattered as they were, and fuelled with alcohol, before falling asleep, the notebook covered in mascara soaked tears.
The next morning you pulled out the notebook, and one sentence you wrote leapt off the page.
Kisses fall on her lips
Kisses that should've been mine
You circled the sentence, writing a few more thoughts before you tucked the book under your pillow. The alcohol had been pretty strong, so you settled on a few more hours of sleep - to avoid reality for a little bit longer.
17 Years Old
Rosé and Hoseok. They were the most popular couple in school. They were like Bella and Edward, and for some crazy reason, you got stuck being Jacob. You stayed quiet of course, not saying anything because you didn’t want to hurt anyone. Namjoon was the only person you had confided in, and he had been completely reassuring. You trusted him more and more, and considered him one of your closest friends, especially as the time you spent with Hoseok lessened as he spent more time with your best friend.
That didn’t mean you didn’t value the moments you did spend with Hoseok. Quite the opposite, you treasured every little moment. You often found him in your spot, on the roof of the school. It made you wonder why he kept coming up here. He told you it was because he liked the view the best.
This time, you were sitting on the roof feeling contemplative, Hoseok sitting next to you and attempting to offer you advice. It was working: anything Hoseok said tended to make you feel better, he was just good with words like that.
“You’ve always wanted to be a famous singer, Y/n. You should do everything you can to achieve that dream, you know. I believe in you.” Hoseok said, grasping your hand tightly. You sighed, staring across the school you had known for so long, sitting with the boy you had known and loved for so long. “It’s just hard to take the harder path. I know my parents just want me to go to college and get my degree and work until I die. But I don’t want to do that, and I never have.” You said.
“I don’t think anyone does.” Hoseok said lightly. “If it helps, I want to become a dancer. And I think that’s just as risky as singing.”
“But you are such a good dancer, Hoseok.” You argued, punching him on the arm. He grinned.
“I know. And you are a good singer, you know. You are so talented.” Hoseok praised you, making your cheeks feel warm.
“Let's make a pact, then. We never stop chasing our dreams.” You said softly. Hoseok nodded in agreement, holding out his hand, which you promptly shook. “Deal.”
Graduation Day
You often thought graduation was too overhyped. It was just the end of school. You knew life generally had better milestones that were far more worth celebrating. You hoped your life would be full of wonderful milestones, happy ones, maybe sad ones, but worthwhile ones.
You were happy to be sharing the day with the people you cared about most. That included Yoongi, his wacky friends, and, most importantly, the two that were closest to you: Momo and Rosé. Rosé was hugging Hoseok tightly, whilst Momo was laughing at your brother, who was jumping to try and reach Namjoon’s graduation cap, much to his and everyone else’s amusement. “Give up already, Yoongi.” You groaned, covering your mouth to stop yourself from laughing. “Aw, give him a chance,” Jungkook said, grinning. You turned to see your mother glaring at your brother, which only made you laugh harder. “Your mother looks pretty disappointed in you, Yoongi,” Namjoon said with a chuckle as Yoongi attempted to swipe his cap once more, and failing. “She should be happy that I just managed to graduate.” Yoongi huffed.
“That’s one way to look at it.” Momo said, grinning at Yoongi. Your eyes flitted back to Rosé and Hoseok, who had pulled out of their hug and were trying to integrate back into the conversation. Hoseok’s eyes met yours. You looked away, for some reason, you felt unable to look at him. Today was meant to be a happy day of celebration, you didn’t want to make it into a sad day full of regret.
The fireworks had been beautiful. Soon, everyone dispersed, Momo getting a ride with Yoongi and Taehyung, Namjoon and Rosé heading back with Jungkook. It made for a wonderful night, and then it was just you and Hoseok, sitting on the roof of your school again having snuck up there when no one was looking and made yourselves comfortable, sitting underneath the stars. “It's crazy how quickly time flies,” you murmured to Hoseok who had been lost in thought.
“Yeah. Do you… do you have any regrets?” He asked. You shook your head.
“I try not to. What is meant to be, will be. Right?” Hoseok nodded slowly.
“You’re doing music at college, I’m doing dance… it looks like we’ll be able to fulfil our dreams after all, Y/n.” Hoseok said with a smile. You nodded, and you lay your head on his shoulder, something you hadn’t done in a long time but used to do a lot when you were younger. “I hope things never change,” you whispered. Hoseok smiled. Then, ever so slowly, he leaned towards you, planting his lips softly on your forehead. You didn’t even breathe, so touched by the comforting action, and surprised. He just smiled at the confusion on your face. He stood up, offering a hand. “Come on. I better take you home. I don’t want your brother to yell at me.” You nodded, taking his hand and letting Hoseok drive you home.
That evening, you thought about Hoseok and how he had pressed that kiss on your forehead. It had been wonderful, and you hoped that it would be enough. Even if you were miles away, you would always care about him.
The distance and the time b etween us,
It’ll never change my mind,
Cause baby I would die for you
Baby I would die for you
24 Years old.
The last few years had been a whirlwind for you. A debut album. A series of successes, awards, a high profile relationship, a public breakup, a legendary self-titled second album, and now you were on your way to making a third, which you were in the process of writing, having finished a hugely successful world tour.
You had a lead single ready, an upbeat, fast and bright song called Cosmic. Its chorus was simple but made you feel dizzy with feelings.
I don’t care about science,
I don’t care about logic,
When I look at you I see the sun and the stars
And it’s so goddamn cosmic
You had an elaborate music video planned, with video treatments made and given to your team, but someone was eating away at you. You had a brilliant dance routine planned in your mind for the song, but you didn’t want to use any of your usual choreographers - you didn’t think they would quite get it. “You know who would be perfect for this? Hoseok.” Your manager gushed. You turned to look at her in surprise.
“What makes you think that?” You asked curiously. Your manager smiled.
“He’s a talented choreographer, Y/n. His style would be perfect for this song, a blend of pop and RNB? That is exactly what you need.”
“Momo. I can’t just phone him up. I haven’t seen him in… well, years.”
“Well, I know for a fact your best friend is still in touch with him,” Momo said with a grin.
“Of course you are.” You rolled your eyes.
“You love me really. This is why I am your manager.” Momo said.
“What will Rosé think though?” You asked hurriedly, concerned since you know they hadn’t spoken since their break up.
“She’s a grown-up, Y/n. I think she can handle you working with her ex from a while ago. Even though they haven’t really spoken, it doesn’t mean they’re angry at each other. They just don’t have much in common anymore. I see them both liking each other’s pictures on Instagram anyway. Which feels like an accurate measure of how people feel about each other these days.” Momo said with a laugh.
“How come your still in touch with him, then?” You asked Momo curiously, feeling guilty that you hadn’t stayed in touch with him more… but you had been so busy, and so had he. “Well, I guess I’m in touch with a few of that crowd since I started dating your brother,” Momo said. You mocked a gagging sound, knowing that you were fine with Momo dating Yoongi, but you just liked to make fun of it whenever the opportunity came up. “He asks about you sometimes, you know,” Momo said slyly. You turned to look at your friend quickly.
“What?” You asked, confused.
“You heard me. He asks about you. Asks about your music, and how it’s all going.” Momo said casually. You felt your heart rate pick up.
“What do you say?”
“Well, I tell him how well everything is going. That’s the truth, anyway.” Momo replied with a coy smile. You flushed.
“Text him and ask about the video. He’s the only person I want.”
“You can say that again.”
“You KNOW that is not what I meant!” You shouted, facepalming. Momo laughed.
“I know, I know. I’ll let him know.”
Two days later, you were in the studio when you got a call from an unknown number. It was a number based in LA, so you answered it curiously. “Hello?” You asked.
“Hey, Y/n. Its Hoseok.” You paused. Your heart fell out of its chest.
“Hoseok? Oh my god, its been a hot minute.” You wanted to slap yourself. Who the hell says its been a hot minute??? Hoseok simply chuckled.
“Yeah, that it has. Listen, Momo spoke to me and said you wanted me for your video.”
“Yeah, I mean, if you can, of course. I know you’re super busy right now, so…”
“Y/n. I have been praying for an opportunity like this! Of course, I want to do it! Not to mention you are one of my oldest friends, so I would do it anyway even if you weren’t the biggest star on the planet.” You felt your face flush at the compliment.
“Thanks, Hobi. It’s been crazy that’s for sure. I wish we could have stayed in touch more. But you know how it is…”
“Oh, that I do. I know how crazy life is! I’m just glad I can be in your life again, even if its just for a little while. I missed you!” Hoseok gushed.
“Me too, Hobi. So, when can you come to LA?’ You asked.
“Well, that’s the good thing. I’m in LA at the moment! I’m out here to see if I should relocate here.”
“Oh my god, that’s fantastic! In that case, we should have lunch. Are you free today?” You asked, praying that he was.
“I am. Text me the details,” Hoseok said. You grinned.
“Will do. I’ll see you soon!” You said gleefully, hanging up. Hopefully, this would be the start of getting a great friendship back.
You were nervous about lunch. Momo had politely informed you that Hoseok was not seeing anyone, but for some reason, that just made you even more nervous. You were sat in the back of the restaurant, a table you had requested so you could have a bit more privacy. The last thing you wanted were paparazzi photographing you and Hoseok together. You were sat at the table waiting for Hoseok when you saw him come in, a nervous smile on his face. You grinned, standing and waving at him. His eyes lit up when they saw you, and he bounded towards you, pulling you into a warm and familiar hug. “Y/n,” he said breathlessly.
“Hobi. It's so good to see you,” you replied, not wanting to let go. It was like no time had passed at all since you had last seen him. In truth, it had been a couple of years. You had met up a few times in college, but it had been brief, and soon college life and everything after had consumed you both. “I can’t believe you have turned into this megastar since the last time I saw you. It’s fantastic!” Hobi gushed, letting you go and sitting opposite you. You smiled. “I know right, its been crazy. Tell me about you, though. Momo said you have your own dance studio back home?” You asked. Hobi nodded with a smile.
“I do. I sent Momo some of my videos with my crew a while back, and she said you would definitely want to hire me and my crew for your new video.”
“Yes! Mom sent them to me and I couldn’t believe it! It was perfect for what I have in mind,” you said, pulling out the video treatments from your bag. You laid them out, and Hoseok leaned forward, examining them closely, nodding enthusiastically. “This is awesome. Did you design these?” He asked. You nodded.
“Yeah. I knew what I wanted, and when I know what I want, I do whatever I can to get it.” Hoseok looked up at that, looking at you curiously.
“That’s good to know.” He said with a pause. He then looked up with a grin. “Can I hear the song?” He asked. You nodded excitedly.
“Yeah, sure!” You said, pulling out your phone and handing your AirPods over so Hoseok could listen to the final cut you had downloaded on your phone. He listened to the first bars, his eyes widening then softening, his lips curling into a smile. You simply stared at him as he listened to it, admiring his dark hair which was slightly curled at the ends, his shirt simple and white with light blue jeans. His bag suited him the most, a bright red shade with a smiley face sticker on it and sunflowers. It was so adorable. Hoseok was so adorable. You knew just from this that he probably hadn’t changed too much. You wondered how much you had changed. He handed back the AirPods as the song ended. “That is so cool,” he said excitedly.
“Thanks.” You replied, feeling a little relieved.
“I know exactly what you want! I can see it now!” Hoseok said, clapping his hands together.
“Great! We wanna be completely finished at the end of the month. Do you think that’s enough time?” You asked. Hoseok nodded.
“It can be. It’ll be tight, but we will work hard!” Hoseok said enthusiastically. The waiter came over to take your food orders, so you hastily had to look at the menus, deciding on some fancy Italian dish. Work wasn’t discussed any further whilst you ate, and you discussed people from your past, including your brother and his friends.
“How’s Namjoon?” Hoseok asked you, much to your surprise.
“Namjoon? Uh, I don’t know really. I haven’t seen him since school. Haven’t seen anyone really, except Momo, Yoongi and Rosé…”
“And now me.” Hoseok pointed out with a smile.
“And now you.” You acknowledged.
“Do you still see Rosé?” You asked. Hoseok shook his head.
“Not since we broke up, really. We’re still friends, but… Well, you know how it goes. We got older, I guess.” Hoseok smiled sadly.
“Well, I don’t think you have changed that much,” you said, scooping pasta into your mouth. Hoseok flushed, tucking his hair behind his ear.
“I wouldn’t notice I guess. You haven’t changed at all. Just made all your dreams come true.”
“Not all of them,” you replied quickly. Hoseok raised his eyebrow.
“What could you possibly not have that you would want?” He asked. You blushed, not wanting to admit anything.
"I thought we made a deal to never stop chasing our dreams?" Hoseok pointed out. You nodded, remembering.
"True. I guess I'll have to work harder then," you said with a tight smile. Hoseok didn’t push you any further. You finished your food on lighter topics, and you found yourself leaving lunch feeling lighter than air. You didn’t realise how good Hoseok made you feel. You were glad he was gonna be around for a while yet.
Time with Hoseok, unfortunately, flew by. From dance practices to filming and everything in between, you did spend a lot of time together, but it was mainly business, and you had little time actually with Hoseok on a more personal level. You were grateful for any time at all, of course. But you saw a very different side to Hoseok, a side you didn’t often see: the dancer. It was a side you grew to love equally, the determination, the focus, the drive, and the sheer beauty of when Hoseok moved his body. Your favourite moments were when Hoseok corrected your dancing… like when his hands snaked around your waist to shift you slightly, and you felt your heart race.
You had asked him if LA had seemed like a good fit for him, but he had seemed unsure. His studio and crew were at home, and he didn’t want to change anything too hastily. You understood of course.
When it all came to an end, all you felt was heartache. You remembered it well.
You had been on the set as they had called it a wrap on your video when you realised Hoseok would probably be returning home.
“So…” You said, trying to make your voice as light as possible. Hoseok looked like he was doing the same.
“So. I guess i’ll be heading back home,” Hoseok said, shrugging a bag over his shoulder.
“Oh, really?” You inquired casually.
“Yeah. Unless you can give me a reason to stay,” Hoseok said teasingly. You smiled.
“I would love you to stay. But your life isn’t here. You have to get back to that,” you said firmly. You weren’t sure if you were convincing yourself, or him. Hoseok nodded in agreement. “You’re right.” You grasped his hand, smiling.
“Let’s stay in touch this time, Hobi. I could do with having you back in my life.”
“Saving you from stabbing people with pencils?” Hoseok asked with a smirk. You grinned.
“Definitely. Don’t be a stranger, okay?” You said, suddenly feeling emotional and pulling Hoseok into a hug. You both stayed locked into each other’s arms for far too long, but you didn’t want to pull away.
25 Years Old
You were home for your mothers birthday, and you were out shopping for food when you saw a recognisable figure. “Rosé!” You called, waving as you spotted your long-time friend across the street. She looked up in surprise, shocked to see you. She rushed over to your side of the street, her arms wide open. You hugged her, finding yourself glad to see her. “Y/n! I didn’t think I would ever see you around here,” Rosé said ruefully.
“Of course I would be here! Its my mother’s birthday this weekend,” You explained.
“Ah, of course. Are you free now? We could go for a bite, if you like, catch up.” Rosé offered. You beamed.
“I would love that.”
Catching up with Rosé was easier than you had thought. You had half expected her to have changed a lot, after speaking with Hoseok and Momo, but were surprised to find her pleasant and calm, just like she had always been. You had always thought she could speak up a little bit more. Its what made you both so different, you thought. You always spoke your mind. It wasn’t bad that Rosé didn’t, it was just so opposite from you. “I heard Hoseok helped you with your music video too! That came out so well,” Rosé dropped in when you were digesting a mouthful of food. You coughed.
“Uh, yeah. It was good to catch up. Do you guys still speak?” You asked, already knowing the answer.
“Not as much. I always thought you two were better suited anyway,” Rosé said casually. Your eyes widened in shock.
“What me and Hoseok? Nah.” Rosé laughed.
“I always knew you had a soft spot for him, Y/n. It's okay. I was just glad you never acted on your feelings. I wish you had told me then, though. I was your friend, too.”
“I never would have wanted to intrude or start any drama…” you mumbled, embarrassed. Rosé just smiled.
“It wouldn’t have. Like I said, you would have been well suited. I guess I just wanted to cling onto Hoseok whilst I had him. That ended when I realised how different we were, though. I’m happy now, and I know he’s happy too. That’s what matters.” You nodded in agreement with her last statement, feeling strangely guilty. “You guys should get together. Especially since he’s moving to LA soon.”
“Is he?” You asked in surprise. Rosé nodded.
“Yep. I heard from his mom.”
“Ah. I’ll definitely run into him when I’m back,” you agreed.
“No! I mean you guys should date.” Rosé explained. “You guys are soulmates. I just know.”
“I don’t know…” you said, chewing your lip. “We’re both so busy.”
“Life is busy. But without love… you just feel empty.” Rosé said. “I'm happy with my boyfriend now. His name is Jimin. He lives here. He’s just lovely. Maybe we could all go on a double date when your next back and dating Hoseok.” You laughed, pleased at the assumption.
“You seem set on us dating. How can I refuse?” You teased. Rosé smiled.
“You can’t. So I better see you both dating soon.” You smiled.
“Thank you, Rosé.”
“You are most welcome. Just make sure I am a bridesmaid,” Rosé said jokingly.
“We’re not there yet…”
Fighting the tears back
Fighting to make you stay
Screaming at angels
Holding a wall in my brain,
Secrets are locked up
Prison cell in your heart,
Kisses fall on her lips
The memory's left behind
The lyrics you wrote had always been personal. You often got bombarded with questions about who your writings were about. But you knew that you only had one man in mind. It didn’t matter how much time went by, or how many people you dated in the meantime, your mind seemed to stray back to Hoseok - and what could have been. He was your one regret, the one missed opportunity. There had been some lyrics you had kept close, and that had been from the day you found Rosé kissing Hoseok and the pain that had ensued. You weren’t sure why, but something about the words had made you hesitate at putting them into a song that you would put on an album. Maybe it just hit too close to home. There were some things in your past you were happy to talk about, like your struggling mental health which you felt was important to your fans to open up about. Your heart held happiness too though, and that was the energy you tried to put into your songs. You wanted your music to make people happy, when you couldn’t feel that way.
Hoseok was finally moving to LA. It had been later than you had imagined. But somehow, he still made your heart flutter. After your chat with Rosé, you realised you had maybe waited too long to confess your feelings for Hoseok. Far too long. You texted him and told him you wanted to meet. It took him a while to respond, but you were glad he replied in the affirmative when he did. You knew it was time. You invited him over to your apartment, feeling too nervous to be seen in public. You thought having a few glasses of wine would help calm your nerves. Instead, it just made you a little bit more anxious.
Finally, the door rang and you rushed to get it, quickly glancing in the mirror and adjusting your hair and top before taking a deep breath, and opening the door. As soon as you saw Hoseok’s face, you felt your entire body relax. “Hey, Y/n,” Hoseok said, taking his hands out of the pockets he had been slouching them into. “Hey, Hobi,” you said, pulling him into a hug. You couldn’t help yourself. You heard him made a noise of surprise, but he returned the hug with his usual warmth. You let go, coughing slightly as you realised he wasn’t even inside your home yet. “Come in.” You beckoned him into your house, sitting on one side of your kitchen island as Hoseok sat on the other. “Can I get you a drink?” You offered.
“Yeah. Please,” he replied easily. You poured him a glass of wine, yours still being half full. You let him settle in, admiring him as you usually found yourself doing if Hoseok was around. “How does it feel to be back in LA?” You asked, easing the conversation out.
“It's great! I’m glad to be back. And with my crew as well. That was something I never expected, but I’m so glad for it. I don’t know what I would do without them.” You nodded.
“It's all about the people around you. I feel lonely here sometimes. It was a lot easier when I had everyone around me at home. But now… well, I had to give Momo a large salary to come and work for me, that’s for sure.” Hoseok laughed.
“If I know anything about that girl, its that she would follow you anywhere. I know why, too. You’re incredible.” You flushed, looking up and only finding honesty in Hoseok’s eyes. “Thanks, Hobi.” You were both quiet for a moment. It wasn’t an uncomfortable silence, it just allowed you to gather the courage to say what you had on your mind.
“Hoseok…” you started with, taking a breath. “I have loved you for almost all of my life. When I heard you were moving here, I finally figured that maybe we could have some good timing… but I’m not sure what good timing is,” you said nervously. “All I know is I care about you a lot. And even though we haven’t seen as much of each other in the last few years, its still clear to me that I love you as much today as I did when I was 12 years old. Its okay If you don’t feel the same, Hoseok. I just can’t keep it a secret anymore. I don’t think its fair to me. Cause I don’t want to miss anything else.” You said, your shoulders sagging at the relief of finally telling him. Hoseok looked at you more seriously than he ever had, trying to read your expression. Then he just laughed.
“ Wow. That is ironic.”
“What do you mean?” Hoseok chuckled.
“I have loved you forever, Y/n. Don’t you see? I always thought things got too crazy though, and it was ironic. I had been planning on telling you when we were 16 at that party, but then I saw you with Namjoon…”
“Kissing Namjoon that night had been a mistake!” You interrupted. “I regretted it as soon as it happened! But then I turn around and you were with Rosé… and we both know what happened next, Hoseok.” You said, your voice cracking as you finished your sentence. Hoseok sighed.
“I thought you didn’t like me. I was so devastated… then suddenly Rosé was there, we got closer, and well… yeah. I guess I developed feelings for her. Things changed for me. Things have changed now, too.” Hoseok said, scratching his neck.
“I know things have changed, Hoseok… but we… we never did.” You pointed out. Hoseok smiled.
“That’s true. I always knew you would become a famous singer. I never doubted that.”
“I always knew you were destined to dance.” You replied ruefully.
“I think we all did.” He replied with a grin. You rolled your eyes, ignoring the fluttering of your chest as Hoseok moved closer to you. He lifted his hand to your cheek, placing it there.
“It’s never been the right timing for us, has it?” Hoseok said softly, his fingers tracing your cheek. You shook your head.
“I don’t believe that.”
“Why not?” Hoseok asked curiously.
“I believe that everything happens when it is meant to happen. And I’m glad for it. You were worth the wait.” You said with a smile.
“I’m glad you think so. I’m sorry for keeping you so long. But I promise I won’t let you go.” Hoseok murmured, and you leaned in for a perfect kiss. One you had been waiting for, for a long time. And you knew this time, it would work out.
Fin