Archive of Our Own

There’s something Yoongi really loves about waking up the morning after a good party. Sure, his head hurts like hell and every muscle of his body is sore, but he likes the feeling of having been irresponsible, he doesn’t mind the consequences. 

So, naturally, he wakes up with this exact feeling today, and for a moment he’s just taking it in, humming as a smile spreads on his face. That is, until he can’t seem to remember partying last night. Yesterday was Wednesday. Yoongi does not drink on weekdays. 

With his eyes still closed, he tries to recall last night. Hoseok had called him after work, saying that he wasn’t feeling well and needed some distraction, and despite Yoongi being absolutely exhausted from his shift at the convenience store, he’d asked Hoseok to come over and spend the evening with him, even if it’s just by watching a dumb movie. 

Hoseok has been Yoongi’s best friend for years now and Yoongi knows that it’s easy to cheer the younger up when he’s having a hard day. In most cases he just needs some company and affection. 

So Hoseok came over and they ordered take-out food, and after remembering that Yoongi also recalls that he offered to open a bottle of wine, because surely a glass or two wouldn’t hurt either of them. 

Yoongi’s hand moves to his face and he covers his eyes in shame - hiding from no one but himself - as he remembers that they didn’t quite stop after that bottle of wine and soon found themselves thinking that it would be a great idea to find out which of the hard liquors Yoongi has stored on top of the fridge the two of them like most. 

Now, that explains his headache. What it doesn’t explain, though, is the fact that his entire body is aching and certain areas seem to be as sore as they usually only are after he’d received a good pounding. 

And the thought of that is what makes Yoongi realize that the blanket is way too heavy on his body, almost as though there aren’t any clothes between him and the thick blanket. 

He’s naked. 

His eyes snap open and the first thing he realizes is that the blinds are closed, which is something Yoongi doesn’t really bother doing. He furrows his brows as his eyes adjust to the dim light in the room. A groan coming from the spot next to him makes Yoongi turn his head to the left and he’s met by Hoseok’s gaze, eyes probably equally as widened as his own. 

“Why are you here?” There’s a scared undertone in Yoongi’s voice that he can’t quite get rid of. 

It’s not the first time they are sleeping in one bed together, obviously, seeing as they’ve been friends for twelve years and just like back in their teenage days, Hoseok still likes to crash at Yoongi’s place occasionally. However, this  is the first time Yoongi wakes up next to the younger seemingly entirely naked, and panic rises within his chest. 

He has no memory of what happened after the third shot of tequila or so, they might’ve done literally anything and Yoongi would be completely unable to recall it. 

“That’s not the question”, Hoseok shoots back. “The real question is: why am I naked?” 

There’s an undefinable sound leaving Yoongi’s throat. It sounds a lot like a muffled screech and a frustrated whine. “Counter question: why are we both naked?” 

Hoseok’s body jerks at that and he sits upright, not hesitating before he turns on the light on the nightstand, and then reaches out to lift the blanket atop of Yoongi, a squeal escaping his throat when he sees that yes, Yoongi is in fact very naked. “What did we do?” 

Now, Hoseok isn’t usually the kind of person to fall into a gay panic. He’s a very flirtatious kind of person and doesn’t exactly keep his hookups a secret from Yoongi. But right now, the only emotion on the younger’s face seems to be fear. 

Yoongi, on the other hand, is cursing himself for drinking too much last night, thus being the reason he can’t recall anything that happened. For all he  knows they could’ve just played a wild round of strip poker, but Yoongi thinks that he’s damned if he and Hoseok finally hooked up and he’s unlucky enough to not remember it. 

Finally, because maybe Yoongi has spent a long time crushing on his best friend. Finally, because all of these years he wished he could end up being the kind of person from Hoseok’s stories about insane sex in a whirlpool and sleepy morning blowjobs. 

He grasps that he’s been silent a minute too long, so Yoongi rapidly blinks before finally speaking. “We drank.” 

“And then what?” Hoseok’s voice is somewhat high-pitched. God, the poor guy really seems close to a full blown panic attack. 

“I don’t know?” Yoongi sits up as well now. The thought he had earlier about knowing how to cheer Hoseok up easily is now dismissed because he has no fucking clue of how to act to make this situation any better. He nearly scoffs when he wonders how much company and affection exactly he’s given Hoseok the other night. 

Hoseok throws his hands into the air. “How can you be so calm about this?” 

Yoongi can’t bring himself to say that he’s anything but calm. But he doesn’t quite know how to address the real issue that’s making him nervous right now - the crush he’s had on his best friend for years now and the fear of having said anything wrong in his drunken state. He decides on keeping up the impression of being calm. 

“How can I not be?” Yoongi sighs. “We’ve known each other for so long now, whatever we did last night surely isn’t the worst thing we’ve done.” 

He thinks back to the time Hoseok decided on sniffing a line of cocaine when he was merely seventeen, and Yoongi had accompanied Hoseok all night as the younger violently threw up in a public bathroom because neither of their homes were exactly a safe place for teenagers that had done drugs. 

For some reason, that definitely sounds worse to Yoongi than the thought of having sex with Hoseok. 

The younger furrows his brows then, and a moment later Hoseok’s back crashes back into the mattress. “I just think it’s unfair, you know?” 

Yoongi is confused. “What’s unfair?” 

Hoseok shoots him a smile and Yoongi’s heart flutters a little. “The fact that there’s a high probability I fucked the shit out of you and can’t remember any of it.” 

Yoongi almost complains and asks Hoseok what makes him think that he’s the bottom of the story, but the soreness of his body tells him that Hoseok is probably right. “Tragic”, he responds, corners of his lips curling up. 

“Truly.” An exaggerated sigh leaves Hoseok’s mouth. “Would love to hear those moans of yours.” 

Yoongi is fairly taken aback by those words. He just bluntly stares back at his best friend, not quite knowing how to respond, because in that very moment he seems to start thinking with his dick. It takes him a lot of self control not to throw his body on top of Hoseok’s right now, but gladly he’s had enough practice in resisting that exact urge. 

It takes him a long, awkward minute of just staring at Hoseok until he finally finds the right words, and as soon as he’s spoken them, he already regrets it. “I mean, just say the word and you can.” 

Hoseok inhales sharply then, eyes widening yet again. “I- you- excuse me, what?” 

There’s no turning back now, is there? “I mean it. There’s no big deal about it, is there?” 

The younger shakes his head. “You can’t be serious. You’re my best friend?” 

Yoongi laughs, then shrugs. “So, what do you think?” 

Hoseok takes a deep breath, then throws his blanket aside and gets up, exposing his perfectly rounded ass and slightly muscular thighs to Yoongi. He doesn’t turn around, though, so Yoongi’s left just wishing he’s able to have a glance of the front view. 

“I think”, Hoseok says, scanning the floor for his clothes, “that it’s better if I’m going now.” 

And he does just that. Yoongi watches Hoseok leave the room and find his clothes on the living room floor. Hoseok doesn’t even come back to say bye before leaving, the only way Yoongi finds out he’s gone is by hearing the front door close shut. 

So he’s left there with guilt creeping up on him, glad that he was able to hide his boner beneath the blanket, now taking care of it all on his own. 

Yoongi shouldn’t be as anxious as he is right now and quite frankly, he never felt this way before when he thought about contacting Hoseok. 

It’s been a whole day since the younger left him behind like that and they didn’t talk through the entirety of yesterday. He keeps thinking that maybe he did something wrong and shouldn’t have been so straightforward, but then again Hoseok has known Yoongi for long enough and the older has said some questionable shit in the past, so why be mad about it now? 

Eventually, Yoongi caves in and finally opens his chat with Hoseok, just to shoot him a quick message asking if he could come over tonight as he feels they need to talk about whatever the fuck happened. 

To Yoongi’s surprise, the typing bubble already pops up before Yoongi can even close the app and Hoseok responds right away, saying he’ll be there within the next hour and that he’ll bring food. Judging by his message, Hoseok doesn’t seem too upset, and Yoongi feels a little relieved about that. The last thing he wants is to end up in a fight with his best friend. 

He spends his time waiting for Hoseok by thinking about how fucked up this entire situation is. Yoongi has kept his crush on Hoseok a secret for so long now, too scared of fucking up their entire friendship, too afraid of being rejected by the one person that does love him, just maybe not in a way Yoongi would want him to. He keeps telling himself that he’s fine like this as long as Hoseok is still by his side somehow, keeps telling Hoseok that he’s just not ready for any sort of serious commitment whenever the younger asks Yoongi if he doesn’t miss being loved or at least having a good fuck every now and then. 

But now, not knowing what they did that night, although being so sure of it - listen, his ass doesn’t feel this sore from playing strip poker - Yoongi isn’t sure whether he’ll be able to keep this up. His mask is crumbling and he fears that it’s time he confesses to Hoseok. Maybe not tonight, though. 

It’s typical for Hoseok to show up far sooner than one might expect, so Yoongi isn’t surprised when his doorbell rings half an hour after Hoseok’s last message. He sighs, heart pounding heavy in his chest as he makes his way to the door, still not understanding why Hoseok won’t just use the key to the apartment that Yoongi gave him. 

He’s greeted with a wide smile from Hoseok’s side and cant help but smile back. There’s no sign of uncomfortableness, so Yoongi thinks that maybe his best friend has been upset at one point but quickly got over it, as neither of them really are able to be mad at the other for too long. 

Hoseok takes Yoongi into a quick embrace before walking past him into the apartment, holding up the bag of take-out he brought. “I only got burgers and fries, if you crave something else we can order.” 

Yoongi can’t complain. He fucking loves burgers. “Did you bring drinks?” 

“I brought soda, yes.” Hoseok places himself on the couch and starts retrieving the food boxes from the bag as he continues speaking. “Hey, listen, I’m sorry for disappearing like that yesterday.” 

Yoongi drops into the place next to him. “Not gonna lie, I was a little dumbfounded, especially because you refused to talk to me all day.” 

“Fair enough”, Hoseok says, looking at Yoongi with his eyebrows raised, “you didn’t message me either, so I thought you were mad. And that made me anxious to talk to you.” 

Yoongi gratefully takes the burger he’s handed to, then. “I just don’t understand why you wanted to leave so suddenly.” 

Hoseok leaves his food untouched. Instead, he leans back with a deep sigh. “See, usually when I hook up with someone it’s with someone I have no emotional bond with. And on top of that I usually know what I did. Neither was the case this time, so I panicked. I mean, we’re still not sure if we really-“ 

“Believe me”, Yoongi interrupts him, “by the way my ass was sore all day yesterday, we definitely did.” 

Hoseok smirks. “So I did fuck the shit out of you, hm?” 

Yoongi’s eyes roll back into his skull. “It doesn’t count if I can’t remember.” 

“Is that so?” Hoseok’s smirk stays as he raises an eyebrow. “Maybe I do have to get back to your offer, then.” 

“I- Hoseok, what the fuck are we doing here?” Yoongi puts the burger aside, suddenly not so hungry anymore. 

The younger’s face falters. “I wish I knew. It’s just- it’s hard.” Upon Yoongi’s questioning look, Hoseok sighs. “You know, and I’m really scared of fucking shit up by saying this now, there’s just something really fucked up about hooking up with a person you’ve had feelings for for so long and- shit, and not remembering it.” 

Yoongi nearly chokes on his spit upon hearing those words. This is it. This is the moment he could finally get over himself and confess to Hoseok. But the surprise over Hoseok confessing his feelings to Yoongi seems to be blocking his thoughts entirely. So instead of finally taking the chance and opening up to his best friend, Yoongi swallows down the lump in his throat and blankly stares back at Hoseok. 

“Oh.” 

“Oh?” Hoseok’s eyebrows shoot towards his hairline. “God, fuck, I shouldn’t have said anything, I’m so sorry, I’m just gonna-“ He doesn’t finish his sentence. Instead, Hoseok fumbles with his hands and gets up, already turning away to leave when Yoongi gets ahold of his sleeve.

“You can’t do this now, Seok.” Yoongi sighs. “You can’t run away every time there’s an issue now. Where’s that coming from all of a sudden?” 

“I’m a coward.” Hoseok doesn’t turn back around to face Yoongi, but also doesn’t try to free himself of the older’s grip on his arm, so that seems to be something. 

“Yeah, I know. But aren’t we usually able to talk about anything? You never fail to talk to me, so why now?” 

Hoseok scoffs and finally turns around to look at Yoongi. “Maybe because I just told you I have feelings for you and your only response was ‘oh’. Really, just oh?” 

“I don’t know how to respond to that, Seok. What do you want me to say that doesn’t break your heart?” God, Yoongi could punch himself in the throat. Why is honesty so hard for him right now? Why isn’t he able to tell Hoseok he’s feeling the same way when the younger is looking at Yoongi with such a sad face? 

“Well, then, what do you want me to do?” There’s tears welling up in Hoseok’s eyes and Yoongi hates it, hates being the reason for them.

“Sit down and eat with me. Let’s just hang out. We can forget you said that altogether.” 

Hoseok shakes his head. “I can’t. Not tonight, I really need some space to clear my head right now. I’m sorry, Yoons.” 

Seeing as those were his last words and Yoongi can’t really force Hoseok to do anything, he finally lets go of the younger’s sleeve and watches him go. 

Yoongi feels like an absolute moron. 

Exactly four days, eight hours and twenty-one minutes ago Hoseok walked out of Yoongi’s apartment door and hasn’t gotten back to him since. 

But who’s counting, right? 

Not Yoongi. Hah. 

This time, Hoseok can’t even complain about Yoongi not messaging him, because Yoongi’s been constantly doing just that.

This is officially the longest time the two of them have spent apart with no contact whatsoever since they first met, and Yoongi hates to admit that it’s hard without Hoseok. 

If this was his life before he met Hoseok, then Yoongi really was an unlucky kid back in the day. 

He knows he could solve all of this by just being honest, he really does. But Yoongi figured that he’s not quite as scared of confessing his feelings to Hoseok as he is of commitment and intimacy. 

Yoongi sighs in resignation as he picks up his phone that’s been resting flat on his stomach and scrolls through his contacts. He hates only ever calling Seokjin when he’s in trouble, but guesses the older is used to it by now.

He picks up after just two rings.

“Seokjin’s hotline for troubled Yoongi, how can I help you today?” Seokjin’s voice is soothing and Yoongi can’t help but smile at his words. Honestly, why aren’t they closer friends? 

Ah, right, the commitment thing. 

“Hey, I, uh, kinda need your help.” 

“What? No way? I thought you called for a nice chat? Oh no, what do I do now?” 

“Stop teasing me.” Although Seokjin can’t see, Yoongi pouts. 

“Never.” The older chuckles. “What’s up?” 

“Remember when you said I got a secret crush on Hoseok and I punched you in the face?” 

“How could I forget? You almost fractured my nose. Why- oh. Oh!” There’s silence for a second. “So you do have a crush on him.” 

“I’ve had a crush on him for like ten years now. I just hated that it seemed so obvious to you.” Yoongi sighs. “Anyways, shit happened.” 

“What kind of shit?” 

So, Yoongi tells the whole story to Seokjin, who listens thoroughly until Yoongi gives him a clear sign that he’s done. “And now he hasn’t talked to me in a few days and I think I’m going crazy. Please tell me what to do.” 

There’s silence in the other line for a moment before Seokjin speaks. “Okay, Yoongi. First of all - you’re a fucking idiot.” 

“I’m aware.” 

“I don’t get your logic here, really. You say you’re scared of commitment but if there’s one person you already are committed to, it’s Hoseok. You guys are basically attached by the hip, fuck, you already are a couple minus all the kissing and fucking - well, now probably just minus the kissing.” 

Yoongi scoffs. “Right, because we act so much like a couple.” 

“Pah!” Seokjin laughs out loud. “You hold hands in public, you spend hours on end cuddling on the couch, you drag each other literally everywhere and adjust your orders in restaurants to each other so you can steal food off the other’s plate. You might think that’s platonic, but the way y’all look at each other while doing all these things? Yoongi, please.” 

“When did we ever hold hands in public? And how do you even know of the cuddling?” Yoongi thinks about it for a second and damn, Seokjin is right. They do hold hands a lot. “You know, don't even answer that.” 

“I wasn’t going to, I know I’m right and you’ll realize that, too. You guys are in love and it’s time you address it, or you won’t just lose a potential boyfriend but also your best friend.” Seokjin sighs. “Stop being so stuck in your head, Yoongi. You were committed to him for years already.” 

“So you want me to talk to him and say what?” 

“The truth.” 

“And how am I supposed to do that? He won’t respond to my messages nor pick up my calls.” 

“I’m sure you’ll figure something out. And now if you excuse me, there’s someone straddling my lap as we speak.” 

Yoongi raises an eyebrow. “You’re back with Jungkook?” 

Seokjin nervously laughs. “Ah, not quite. You remember Namjoon?” 

“No fucking way.” 

“Yeah, anyways, we’ll hopefully talk soon, yes? Keep your head up, Yoongi.” 

And with that, Seokjin hangs up. 

Yoongi’s mind starts to spin as he thinks about his friend’s words and he hates how right Seokjin is. There would be no difference if Yoongi and Hoseok ended up together, except maybe a little more of all that physical shit. 

He sighs and - for the first time in four days - decides to take a shower. If he’s going to see Hoseok today, he doesn’t exactly want to smell like a garbage can. 

Yoongi’s original intention was to just show up at Hoseok’s workplace. But eventually he decided against it, seeing as he doesn’t really want to have that talk with his best friend stuck between a counter and a wall of rotisserie chicken. 

Instead, he shoots him a message. 

Me: hey, i know it’s been a few days and i keep messaging you, but i honestly feel like i’m going insane. can you PLEASE come over tonight after work so we can talk? :( 

Ten long, gruesome minutes later, he receives Hoseok’s response and Yoongi feels like his heart shouldn’t be pounding like this when he stares at the screen. 

Seok: you still want to talk to me after all that? 

Seok: i’ll be there around 9 

Yoongi’s heart stops a beat or two. He’s not sure if what he’s feeling now is excitement or anxiety. 

He’s got about four hours until Hoseok will be here, so he slips into his shoes and throws a cap over his still slightly wet hair before putting on his coat and quickly making his way out. 

If he really wants to confess tonight, Yoongi has to make it perfect. 

It doesn’t take long for him to do the groceries - seeing as he only really can cook one meal and that consists of less than five ingredients - but Yoongi does take a fair amount of time for picking the right candles and flowers. Hoseok’s favorite color is green, so Yoongi buys an entire set of green candles, some glittery, green confetti in the shape of hearts and even green plates, on top of a bouquet of green and white gerbera daisies. 

Is he being too cheesy? Probably, but fuck, it’s for Hoseok and he loves cheesy shit. It’ll be worth it. 

Yoongi rushes home and curses about the amount of time he spent away, now merely left with an hour and a half to cook before Hoseok shows up. He dumps all the bags on his dining table and carries the groceries to the kitchen then, immediately starting to prepare the meal. Fair enough, pasta isn't exactly hard, but Yoongi likes taking his time. 

So, the time is taken and he finishes setting everything up about ten minutes before Hoseok arrives, just now realizing how damn nervous he’s been this entire time. Yoongi focuses on recalling Seokjin’s words from earlier on the phone to calm his mind down but finds himself spiraling down some more. 

Not much will change, right? Except the fact that they’ll now obviously have to talk about their feelings towards each other and Yoongi will occasionally get pounded by his best friend, everything will stay the same, no? Seokjin is right, they strangely have been acting like a couple before - Hoseok’s countless hookups aside - but what if being open about it changes things for the negative? 

Before Yoongi’s thoughts can slip any further, he hears the sound of the door lock clicking and curses under his breath as he gets up. 

This whole thing was supposed to go a little differently. Yoongi has it all planned out. He wanted to sit Hoseok down and present him a nice dinner, wanted to talk about his feelings towards Hoseok and eventually apologize for being such a dick the other day. 

But when Hoseok just comes walking through the front door - as per usual since Yoongi gave him a set of keys - holding a bouquet of crimson colored roses, Yoongi sharply inhales through his teeth, original plan entirely dismissed as he approaches the younger and captures Hoseok’s face between his hands before Hoseok even gets to say anything. 

Their lips crash together like rolling waves and Hoseok stiffens from the touch. Yoongi is so close to withdrawing again when he hears the bouquet drop to the floor and feels Hoseok’s hand slide around his middle a mere second later. He instinctively parts his lips and a gasp leaves his mouth when Yoongi finds Hoseok’s tongue so easily sliding into his mouth between them. 

They stand there for a while, breathing each other in, tasting each other, Hoseok’s hand sliding beneath Yoongi’s sweater, now exploring the bare skin with his fingers. 

Yoongi is the one to put a stop to it when things get too heated. He hates withdrawing from Hoseok but before this goes any further, the two of them need to talk after all. So, Yoongi finally lets go of Hoseok’s face and gives the younger’s lips one last peck before stepping back, his face probably equally as flushed as Hoseok’s.

“Wow, okay.” He quickly squats down to pick up the bouquet of roses, then locks eyes with Yoongi. “What the fuck was that for?” 

Yoongi shrugs. “That wasn’t the plan.” 

“The plan?” Hoseok laughs. “What the hell was the plan?” 

Yoongi smiles back at the younger, so relieved to feel like things aren’t weird between them. Everything is fine. “I’ll show you. Take a seat, dinner is ready.” 

“Okay, okay. But, uh, before I do, I brought you flowers.” He finally gives the bouquet to Yoongi, who can’t help but let his smile grow even wider. 

“Roses. Cheesy.” 

“I like cheesy.” 

“God, I know you do. Thank you, Seok.” 

Yoongi quickly disappears from Hoseok’s eyesight to avoid seeing the younger’s reaction to the setting on the table that’s just as cheesy as bringing roses. He slides into the kitchen and with a racing heart finally starts putting some food on their plates. 

When Yoongi returns to Hoseok, balancing the big, green plates on the palms of his hands, the younger’s mouth shapes an O . “You cooked?” 

“If you can call it cooking”, Yoongi mumbles, putting one plate down in front of Hoseok. “It’s just pasta.” 

“It’s your pasta. It’s my favorite.” Hoseok smiles, then looks down at his food. “Did you buy new plates?” 

“Just for tonight”, Yoongi responds as he finally sits down on a chair next to Hoseok. “Might return them tomorrow if you run off again.” 

“What do these plates have to do with me running off?” 

“They’re green.” 

“And- oh.” 

Hoseok didn’t seem to realize the entire setting until just now, which is a little weird seeing as the lights in the room are literally dimmed and there’s a whole set of candles burning on the table. But now, his eyes drift along the surface of the wood. He reaches out to grab some of the confetti that’s shimmering in the candlelight and smiles, then drops it again to run his fingers over some petals of the flowers that aren’t standing too far from the candles - which probably isn’t a good idea, but Yoongi thinks that they surely won’t catch on fire. 

After a while of admiring all the small things, Hoseok leans back in his chair, furrows his brows and looks at Yoongi.

“Yoongi, what's all this for?”

Now is finally the time for Yoongi to speak. And this time he’s determined to be honest with Hoseok. He smiles and puts his hand onto the table, palm facing up. Hoseok doesn’t hesitate before putting his hand into Yoongi’s, still looking fairly confused. 

“Okay, this is going to sound cheesy as fuck. But before I say anything, I want to apologize for being such a dick the other day.” 

“Already forgiven.” Hoseok nods. “Now, if you say it can get any cheesier than it already is, I’m listening.”

“Do you remember your sixteenth birthday?” Hoseok scrunches his nose and Yoongi takes that as a yes. “That night you fell asleep crying in my arms. And I was up all night. I was heartbroken because you were heartbroken.” 

Hoseok raises an eyebrow. “Do I like where this is going.” 

Yoongi smiles, eyes locked on their intertwined fingers on the table. “You were so hurt and I hated it. But more than anything I hated that you were single again. Because starting on that day I had to stop finding excuses for not telling you that I fell in love with you. And my main excuse was that you were in a relationship.” 

“Yoongi, that was almost ten years ago.” 

“Yeah, and I still hate myself for coming up with excuses. Every time you tell me about another random hookup and complain about wanting someone to love you I’m here, thinking ‘hey, I could do that’, but I never say it. And after a while I stopped having excuses and instead just admitted that I’m scared.” His eyes finally find Hoseok’s again. He’s staring back at Yoongi with such big eyes it makes the older’s heart skip a beat. “I was being a dick the other day because after all those years I for some reason couldn’t bring myself to telling you all this.” 

“Fuck.” Hoseok is blankly staring at the candles, the flames reflecting in his eyes. 

Yoongi gives his hand a squeeze. “Now you know how I feel, but please don’t make me say it out loud.” 

“Say what out loud?” Hoseok’s eyes are fixed on the flames, but he’s smiling now. 

“You know exactly what I mean.” 

“What if I want to hear it, though?” 

“Your food is getting cold.” Yoongi pulls back his hand and begins shoving spaghetti down his throat. 

Hoseok laughs out loud. “You ruin the mood!” 

“Hm? Canf tok, mouf full.” 

“Yoongi!” 

“Okay, okay, fine!” He swallows and quickly wipes the tomato sauce off his mouth with a tissue before leaning back in his chair, eyes locked with Hoseok’s. “I love you. I loved you then and I love you now.” The second he’s done speaking, Yoongi cringes. “God, why?” 

Hoseok laughs out loud and softly kicks Yoongi’s shin under the table. “Fucking idiot.” 

“So what, aren’t you going to say it back?” 

“Food’s getting cold”, Hoseok responds, grinning. 

“Ah, it already is. Cooked the noodles about an hour before you arrived.” 

“I love you too, Yoongi.” 

The older takes a deep breath. He might or might not have to swallow the lump in his throat. “What do we do now?” 

Hoseok chuckles. “Same shit as before, I guess. It’s not much different.” 

Yoongi raises an eyebrow at the younger. “You sound like Jin.” 

“Maybe because Jin’s the one who made me come to my senses. Hey, is that red wine?” 

Yoongi dismisses the question and leans in, elbows on the table now. “What do you mean Jin made you come to your senses?” 

“Ah”, Hoseok sighs. “I called him yesterday because I needed someone to talk to. He basically just scolded me for being such an idiot and not realizing that we already are pretty much dating.” 

“Son of a bitch.” 

“Huh? You don’t think he’s right?” 

“Of course he is! But I talked to him today, he told me the exact same thing. Why didn’t he bother telling me he talked to you, too?” 

Hoseok hums. “Would it have made a difference? We’re both here now, aren’t we?” 

Yoongi thinks about it for a second, then nods. “You’re probably right. And yes, that is red wine.”

Hoseok smiles. “We aren’t touching any alcohol tonight.” 

Obviously they opened that bottle of wine. But they both stuck to having just one glass, so Yoongi definitely can’t use that as an excuse for straddling Hoseok’s lap on the couch just an hour later. 

Hoseok’s hands are on Yoongi’s chest beneath the sweater and Yoongi excitedly wiggles in his place as the younger sucks his earlobe between his teeth and nibbles on it. 

Hoseok groans. “Stop moving so much, I’m going insane.” 

Yoongi grinds down a little harder than intended, corners of his lips pulled back. He gets ahold of Hoseok’s arm and with a little pushing manages to guide the younger’s hand towards his crotch. Hoseok’s eyes widen as he finds that Yoongi is already rock hard against the fabric of his jeans. 

“Who’s going insane now?” 

“Fuck”, Hoseok spits out. 

Yoongi chuckles, leans in and captures Hoseok’s lips with his, continuing to grind down on his crotch until the younger is sweetly moaning into their kiss. Hoseok’s hand moves back under Yoongi’s sweater, taking the fabric with it, so when his fingers now lay on Yoongi’s chest, the older’s belly is exposed. 

“If you don’t stop-“ 

Yoongi shuts Hoseok up by harshly pressing his lips on the other’s. “You’re not trying to make me stop, are you?” 

Hoseok groans. His hands finally wander further and Yoongi helps him take off that dumb sweater. “You wanna go to the bedroom?” 

Yoongi shakes his head. “Here is fine.” 

So, they stay on the couch. Yoongi soon finds himself undressed, laying on his back, staring at Hoseok who’s kneeling in between his legs, still fully clothed. It’s a little unfair that Hoseok gets to see all this while still wearing all his clothes. 

“What’s wrong?” Hoseok raises his eyebrows at Yoongi’s pouty face. 

“You’re not naked.” 

Hoseok chuckles. 

“Give me some time, it’s not like we’re in a hurry.” 

Yoongi lets his pout grow and crosses his arms in front of his chest. “Unfair.” 

“Oh my god, is this a side of you I’ve never seen.” Hoseok’s face shows disbelief. “Are you a crybaby, Yoongi?” 

The older’s jaw drops. “I am not a crybaby.” 

“Sure you are, look at you.” Hoseok puts his hands flat on Yoongi’s naked stomach, his index finger wandering around the belly button. “What if I don’t want to take off my clothes?” 

Yoongi raises an eyebrow. “Then there’s no sex.” 

“You’re rock hard.” 

“I spent years masturbating, don’t be convinced I can’t do it tonight.” There’s a smirk appearing on Yoongi’s face. “It’s up to you to decide whether you want to risk missing out.” 

Hoseok groans. “Fine.” 

Well, that was fairly easy. Yoongi makes a mental note to have a proper talk about sexual preferences once he finds the right moment for that. He wouldn’t mind some more teasing, but Hoseok is right, he’s rock hard and not in the right mind space to talk about any of that right now. 

He watches the younger slip out of his clothes, gasps when Hoseok’s cock springs free and slaps up against his stomach. Yoongi bites down on his bottom lip a little too hard. Of course they’ve seen each other naked before, but this time it feels different. He supposes it’s because this time, instead of just craving for it, Yoongi will actually get to feel Hoseok. 

“Better?” Hoseok proudly stretches out his arms as though to present himself to Yoongi. 

Yoongi hums. “Way better.” 

The older soon figures out that Hoseok’s loving is slow and tender. There is nothing extraordinary about the way they fuck, but it still feels special, because damn, it’s Hoseok who now has his lips all over Yoongi, Hoseok whose lips are such a pretty contrast to the color of Yoongi’s dick, Hoseok whose delicate fingers spread him open almost teasingly slow. Yoongi is sure that, even if this was the worst sex he’s ever had, it would still feel amazing. The mere fact that the man he’s been craving for so long is finally touching him sets Yoongi’s brain on fire. 

“Fuck, god.” Yoongi throws his head back as Hoseok brushes his prostate, three fingers fucking into him rapidly. He’s hitting the armrest of the couch a little too hard. “Please, Seok. Move on.” 

“You sure?” 

Yoongi groans, eyes wandering to the wall clock  above the television. “You’ve been prepping me for about twenty minutes now. What makes you think I’m unsure?”

Hoseok does pull out his fingers, a huffy breath leaving his throat. “I’m nervous, Yoongi.” 

At that, the older’s heart skips a beat. “You don’t need to be. It’s just me. Plus, we’ve  done this before.” 

“And neither of us remember.” Hoseok sighs. “It’s not just you, Yoongi. I wanted this for so long and I’m just scared of fucking up.” 

“Come here and kiss me, why don’t you?” Hoseok slides up in his spot until he can perfectly lean in to put his lips onto Yoongi’s. The older mumbles against his lips. “You couldn’t fuck this up if you tried. The fact alone that it’s you is enough for me.” 

Hoseok pulls back, smiling. “You’re saying some really cheesy shit tonight. Stop making me emotional.” 

“Then maybe you should start fucking me.” Yoongi looks around. “Did you bring a condom from the bedroom, too?” 

It’s stupid, but also kind of not. Yoongi trusts Hoseok with his life and technically he knows both of them are clean. Yet, he still panics about safe sex. 

Hoseok nods. He reaches behind him and Yoongi hears the crackling of the package, watches Hoseok open it and wrap his dick in a bag. He furrows his brows, leading his fingers towards his face to sniff them. “Is that strawberry scent?” 

“Hey, no judging. I like sweet things.” 

Hoseok smiles. “You most certainly do.” 

The fucking goes slow. Yoongi has to admit that, if this wasn’t Hoseok, he’d be bored out of his mind. But right now he feels like a heroine addict who’s having his first shot in a while, completely giving in to the sensation that takes over him as Hoseok thrusts into him, sweet praises slipping his lips that Yoongi can’t get enough of. 

Hoseok’s moans could be mistaken for whispers, though, and Yoongi notices how the younger is still too caught up in his head, too aware of his own movements and Yoongi reactions to them. 

“Seok, hey. Stop for a second.” Hoseok puts his movements to halt and looks up at Yoongi, his hooded eyes turning into full moons. “Let go, it’s okay, I promise. Stop thinking.” 

Hoseok pouts. “It’s just so hard when you’re so beautiful over here and I don’t want this to stop.” 

“No one said we can only do this once tonight.” Yoongi’s mouth slips a moan from Hoseok wiggling in his place and by thus brushing his prostate ever so slightly. 

Hoseok almost chokes on his own spit. “God, that was hot.” 

“Shut up and fuck me, Seok. There might be more where that came from.” 

Honestly, the constant switches between soft words and straight up demands are getting to Yoongi more than he’d like to admit. There’s no consistency, neither of them is playing a role or trying to assert dominance. This is just Yoongi and Hoseok, two men who are best friends and have secretly been in love with each other for so long that it’s just natural they’re getting a little caught up in their feelings here. Yoongi doesn’t blame Hoseok for being afraid, if he wasn’t so indulged with trying to chase his orgasm, he probably would be too. 

Hoseok makes their lips crash again as he picks up his movements now, faster and tougher than before. Yoongi has to genuinely moan now, and Hoseok breathes in each and every sound that’s leaving from the back of Yoongi’s throat. 

He can feel his orgasm building up, one of his hands sliding down between him and Hoseok to reach for his aching and throbbing cock, hips bucking up in response to Yoongi’s fingers wrapping around and applying pressure to it. He clenches around Hoseok’s length, whining as the younger changes the angle ever so slightly and now repeatedly brushes Yoongi’s prostate over and over again, until Yoongi is merely a moaning mess underneath the other, no steady rhythm in his own movements, stroking his cock almost frantically. 

“Yoon, I’m gonna-“ 

“Me, too. Keep going.” 

It takes mere seconds from there for Hoseok’s thrusts to pick up on pace once again, the younger clearly struggling to keep his body up above Yoongi as they moan into each other’s ears. Hoseok comes first, shuddering as he keeps fucking it out to the last drop, Yoongi’s name slipping from his lips so often that it drives the older over the edge as well and Yoongi ejaculates all over his belly and hand. He throws his head back, stroking it out with Hoseok still slightly fucking into him until Yoongi starts whining from overstimulation. When he stops, he’s shaking, lips slightly parted and eyes closed. 

“Fuck, you’re so pretty like that.” 

Yoongi feels fingers tracing his jawline, then Hoseok’s thumb caresses his bottom lip until it’s replaced by the younger’s tongue, licking into the warmth of Yoongi’s mouth. 

They decide on showering separately, mainly because Yoongi doesn’t like sharing small spaces and his shower is pretty tiny. He lets his back rest against the cold shower tiles, reflecting on the past few hours. Now that the excitement has passed, Yoongi knows he should be feeling happiness. Instead. he’s scared. Scared that this is a bad idea and they’ll end up drifting apart entirely. 

Yoongi tries to shake off those thoughts, attempting to convince himself that they’ve been best friends for so long, neither of them would let that happen. It doesn’t help a lot, though. 

When he gets out Hoseok already brushes past him into the bathroom and Yoongi decides to warm up the food from earlier, panic in his chest rising. He knows he needs to address it. Not next week, not tomorrow, no, tonight. 

So, the first thing that’s slipping his lips when Hoseok emits from the bathroom smiling, hair still wet, while Yoongi is already sitting on the dining table, is “Seok, we really need to talk about this.” 

Hoseok’s face falters. “Oh.” 

“No, please, it’s enough if one of us is panicking.” Yoongi waits until Hoseok sits next to him. “I’m fucking terrified.” 

Hoseok takes Yoongi’s hand into his, looking the older dead in the eye. “Me, too. But you know, I just thought about it. Jin is right. Not much will change.” 

They take a good amount of time to talk over their worries, assuring each other that there is no way on earth the two of them will be separated through this and noticing more and more that they seem to have subconsciously acted like a couple all this time. 

“You’re going to have to stop with those hookups,” Yoongi says eventually, smiling. 

“Please, I stopped that months ago. I’m surprised you didn’t notice. I was waiting for you to ask.” 

Yoongi raises an eyebrow. “What would’ve been your answer to me asking what’s going on?” 

Hoseok falls into a short act of tragical acting. “I would’ve told you that I have fallen terribly in love with a man whom might never return those feelings.” 

“Ah, so you would’ve broken my heart?” Yoongi nods. “I see how it is.” 

Hoseok seems to be taking this a little too seriously. He frowns. “If I ever hurt you, just know I didn’t do it on purpose. I’m sorry.” 

Yoongi shakes his head. “There’s no way you could’ve known, is there? Don’t think about it too much.“ 

“I can’t believe I can finally stop trying to forget about my feelings for you by picking up random strangers at a bar.” Hoseok sighs. 

“Let’s just never talk about these hookups again, please.” 

They do, in fact, talk about these hookups a lot in the following weeks. The two of them need to figure that now that they’re dating, they need to clear up any doubts and confusion before actually committing to a relationship. 

Though, they need to realize over and over again that yes, Seokjin was very right and not a lot of things are really changing, despite all the physical affection Hoseok has to give that Yoongi yet needs to get used to. 

In the end, Yoongi is glad that things happened the way they happened. He finally gets to have Hoseok for himself, exactly the way he always wanted to, and it’s even better than he ever could’ve imagined. 

“You left the keys?” Hoseok raises his eyebrows as he watches Yoongi check his pockets. 

“Yeah, they’re on the kitchen counter.” He smiles, now sure that he doesn’t have any of the leftover keys in his pockets. 

Hoseok huffs a laugh. “I can’t believe you’re actually moving in with me. We’ve been dating for a month.” 

“Well, actually, it’s been longer than that. We just didn’t notice.” Yoongi gets into the driver’s seat. “You coming now?” 

Hoseok seems to snap out of his thoughts and quickly struts around the car to get into the passengers seat. 

“Yoongi?” The older starts the engine, humming in response. “I love you.” 

Yoongi cringes so hard his knuckles turn white around the steering wheel. “Why must you always say this at the most random times?” 

Hoseok laughs. “Trying to make you get used to it.” 

The older groans.

He will never get used to Hoseok telling him he loves him. 

Yoongi hates cheesy shit and is bad at handling affection. 

But it’s okay, because it’s Hoseok. 

And Hoseok loves him despite knowing how weird Yoongi is about feelings and vocal I love you’s.

 “I love you, too.” A shudder runs down his spine.