Chapter Text
The warmth of touching your soulmate the first time in your life is unforgettable. A pulse that connects straight to your heart, the shock that erupts through the skin, the cry that wakes up the soul and consumes the mark in a burning blaze, the hole that opens up for love to bloom.
They say soulmates' love is the best love.
Your other half, the person made perfect for you, the one with which love comes easier, the human that makes your heart sing and your soul burn. They say don't pass up on a soulmate bond. They say don't prive yourself of it.
For the heart will never be the same once the bond wakes. For the soul will never call so loud for anybody else. For you will never be truly happy without it.
In a world where not everyone gets to meet their one true love, why would any person want to throw it away?
Yoongi loves Namjoon. The first love isn't unforgettable because is the best. It's because it's the one that hurts the most. It comes bulldozing through the chest, with new fire and scary feelings. It leaves you breathless, speechless crashes on the heart like a smoldering meteor.
But it also breaks you in a whole million pieces when it ends.
Maybe your first love isn't supposed to last. But Yoongi wouldn't have minded if he had it a little longer. He was ready to try and make it work. But he was alone in that one.
"Hey," Namjoon's kiss doesn't make his body spark, but it still makes his heart sing. It still makes Yoongi stand on his toes and press their lips together. Namjoon's love is gentle, like like a caress in the arms on a cold day.
Like pressing a warm hand on your cold nose when it's snowing. It makes Yoongi smile, makes him giddy. Because Namjoon is nice and Namjoon holds his hand. Namjoon smiles sweet and cares for him. Yoongi knows nothing else, knows nothing better.
Living life and hoping for your soulmate isn't realistic. They could be anywhere. You could never get to meet them in this life. Yoongi thinks he can't let his heart be a prisoner of his soul. So when he fell in love with Namjoon, three months into their relationship, he embraced it.
The human heart is innocent, doesn't know immortal soul's love. And to Yoongi, this love was enough.
"Are you ready to go?"
"Yeah. Is your friend there yet?" Yoongi enters the car.
"He's coming to my place. I didn't want us to go somewhere else after you worked and studied all day." Namjoon gives him those dimples and Yoongi's kissed lips prickle again.
"Thanks, Joon."
"Anything for you, sweetheart."
They have been dating for six months. Friends at first, a college class in common. Project partners, silly crushes, funny dates. Awkward kisses. Boyfriends. Yoongi's friends were happy for him. Who wouldn't be?
Who wouldn't be, when Yoongi's first love came in the massive, embracing form of Kim Namjoon? Who wouldn't be when Yoongi was smiling, was treated tenderly, was led by the hand and had his fingers kissed, his nose booped? No one.
Love is love. It comes and goes. And Yoongi was just living his best life.
"My feet are killing me," he climbs on the couch, legs crossing under his body and cushion big on his lap.
"Still nothing on the new employee?" Namjoon goes to make them some tea and order food.
Yoongi sighs, "Hoseok said they interviewed some more people yesterday. If they liked someone, they should call them in to start on Monday."
"And you're manning the order counter alone until then?"
"Yeah," Yoongi sags in the seat. He was exhausted. Classes were about to start and House of Cards was full enough without the students. Monday was still a whole week from now.
"That's not fair, Yoongi," he sits by his side and Yoongi shrugs.
"I'll survive."
"Well, let me at least rub your feet, then. The least I can do, since I can't work there with you." Namjoon squeezes his socked toes and Yoongi chuckles.
"You can do it later, when your friend goes home."
"Oh, you're gonna love him," Namjoon grins wide, "He's excited to meet you."
"I am too."
Park Jimin, Namjoon's childhood friend, had arrived two weeks ago, transferring colleges after he's changed his major, straight from Busan. And Namjoon is snapping with excitement for them to meet.
Yoongi is excited too. Jimin is Namjoon's best friend and he's heard a lot of stories about their teenage shenanigans. Yoongi also feels happy that Namjoon wants him to meet such an important person in his life.
Maybe this means something big in their relationship.
And Jimin… Jimin looks nice. A wide smile, a tight hug when Namjoon greets him at the door. A timid bow when he sees Yoongi, body welcoming nonetheless. He's small and rosy cheeked, a warm sight of tanned skin and blond hair.
"It's so nice to meet you, Yoongi-sshi." He sits on the other couch.
"You can call me just Yoongi," Yoongi smiles, to Jimin's visible delight.
"Jimin was so excited when I told him you have similar majors," Namjoon sits by his side, leaves the tea on the box that improvises as center table.
"Oh really? What are you going to study?"
"I'm going to be a kindergarten teacher," Jimin smiles, "It's been a dream of mine for so long."
"That's nice."
"Joon says you're a Music student?"
"Yes," Yoongi sips his tea, "I like producing, but I also wanted to use it in therapy for kids and adults."
"Wow," Jimin's eyes widen, "You're really the genius Namjoon said you were."
"Oh god, you didn't say that," Yoongi groans.
"What?" Namjoon grins, "You're my boyfriend, of course I'm going to talk nicely of you."
Yoongi covers his face. Namjoon was always doing that. Yoongi's older brother had a condition that made communication a little harder. But they had always connected through music. Yoongi would play with him in their piano, make songs for him, use them to tell stories and name feelings.
It was only natural he wanted to work with it as well. Music meant Yoongi and his hyung had a happier life.
"I think it's really awesome," Jimin nods enthusiastically, "Kids love music. I used to sing to my cousins when they were little and I had to watch them. They had the most fun."
"I remember that," Namjoon laughs, "They hated so much when I sang too." He pouts, but that only makes them laugh harder.
"Maybe one day we could work together," Jimin says.
Yoongi grins. Jimin is nice. "Maybe one day."
When the food arrives, Namjoon is the one that stands up to receive it. "I'll get the plates," Yoongi says and Jimin also stands.
"I'll help you."
"The glasses are on that cabinet over your head, can you get them for me?"
"Okay."
Jimin hands him one and their fingers brush. It's the lightest, softest touch. But to Yoongi, the world stops.
He pulls his arm back, as if he'd been shocked by an electric current, a full blown snapping pulse inside his chest that almost tears his heart in two. He gasps, a lick of fire making a straight line through his spine and raising all the hairs in his body.
The glass falls, the crash deafening. The shards fly, forever split into broken crystals. And Jimin's looking at him wide-eyed, the same terrified look in his face.
"What--" Namjoon turns around, just in time to see them both cry out. Yoongi grabs the left side of his chest, a searing hot pain right over his heart, a fleeting second of burn and then-- warm.
"No," he pants, pulling at the collar of his shirt. He sees it. His soul mark, before black like ink on his chest, now turned into tender, soft edged, raised pink lines.
Fuck.
"Oh my god," Namjoon looks at them, frozen at the door, delivery guy long forgotten.
"I--" Jimin croaks, hands hovering in the air, face mad flushed, probably like Yoongi's is.
"J-Joonie--" Yoongi pants, panic taking over. No. No, no, no. Please.
Please don't do this to him.
A soft pulse spreads from the mark, warm and nice and Yoongi's eyes instantly fill with tears. No, god, please no.
He sees Namjoon swallow, fingers so tight on the boxes, they give under the force. And he sees, he sees the exact moment his eyes go from him to Jimin, sees the battle inside them. Still, it hurts crippling pain, because Yoongi can't believe that fight ends so fast.
It's a punch to the solar plexus, a mad slap on the face, a hit to the back of his neck. Yoongi thinks his heart drips real blood when Namjoon says, soft and slow, "Yoongi… I--" he looks up.
"Namjoon--"
"I'm so sorry," Namjoon shakes his head, "Yoongi, I'm so sorry." His voice wavers.
No.
No.
A tear slides down Yoongi's face. Mouth ajar, wet eyes wide and earnest, Jimin stands in the middle of the kitchen.
Yoongi's soulmate.
💙💙💙💙💙💙💙
Jimin’s body feels like it’s on fire.
He has no other words to describe the consuming feeling that takes over his entire being just at the slightest of touches from Yoongi’s skin.
But it’s not welcome and it’s not wanted, not for Yoongi.
For years Jimin had been dreaming of what it would be like when he finally got to meet his soulmate.
Countless hours daydreaming about meeting that one person that would truly understand him.
Being able to love someone unconditionally and to have that love back.
That was all he’d ever wanted, all he’d ever hoped for.
He’d never even dated anyone seriously, wanting to save his first love for that special person.
It was supposed to be like a dream come true.
Now all Jimin felt was panic.
His heart was racing from trying to wrap his mind around what just occurred and the changes in his body.
Yoongi had pulled his shirt away from his chest to look at the mark but Jimin didn’t think he could.
Not then, not with Namjoon looking at them with every bit of sadness that Jimin was feeling too.
He had no idea what to say or what to do at that moment.
Nothing had ever prepared him for this.
As tears slide down Yoongi’s face Jimin has to curl his fingers into fists to stop himself from moving forward to console him like his insides are screaming at him.
Yoongi is his best friend’s boyfriend and yet Jimin’s mark stung with the awareness of awakening.
It wasn’t fair. Not to any of them.
He watches silently as Namjoon shuffles closer to Yoongi, tentatively putting a hand on his shoulder.
Because of course, he knows how to help Yoongi best.
“Don’t cry,” Namjoon was whispering softly. “Everything happens for a reason.”
“I -” Yoongi has to wipe away the tears from his cheek, his eyes glancing up to look at Jimin for a moment before shutting them tightly. “I want to go.”
Namjoon inhales deeply and looks over at Jimin, his face so torn.
“It’s fine,” Jimin’s voice cracks as he speaks.
He couldn’t stop himself from looking over at Yoongi again, his eyes are still shut tightly like he’s trying to keep everything at bay.
“Wait here?” Namjoon asks gently, he gives Jimin a look before using a hand to steer Yoongi the other way.
When they’re gone Jimin sinks into himself, he clutches at his face and digs his fingers into his scalp.
Of all people, why did they have to be soulmates?
Why Yoongi, and why him?
His mind races and yet it feels blank at the same time.
There were so many things he knew about Yoongi, things Namjoon had told him smiling over the phone.
How sweet Yoongi was, how hard-working he was, how pretty he was.
All things Namjoon had told Jimin about his loving boyfriend.
Fuck, they were so in love with each other.
With a heavy heart, Jimin takes the steps to sit down at the kitchen table.
He doesn’t even try to stop the tears as they start to pour out from his eyes.
Hoping that if he gets them all out now he won’t be subjected to it when Namjoon gets back.
But Namjoon is quicker to return than he expects and Jimin is still a mess.
“Hey,” Namjoon’s hand is on his shoulder, soothing and hurting all at the same time.
“I’m so sorry,” Jimin barely gets the words out, his voice wobbly from crying.
Namjoon doesn’t say anything at first, his grip tightens on Jimin’s shoulder like he’s trying to ground himself too.
“Yoongi didn’t want me to drive him,” Namjoon sighs. “I called a cab.”
“But-” Jimin is instantly worried about him, he doesn’t know Yoongi and yet...Yoongi is his soulmate.
“We have to respect Yoongi’s wishes,” Namjoon says and Jimin can only wipe at his face.
“I shouldn’t have come...if I’d stayed in Busan -”
“Don’t think like that,” Namjoon speaks firmly and Jimin looks at him.
Namjoon who was so strong and kind, he didn’t deserve this mess.
“Tell me what to do,” Jimin feels awful for having to ask, but Namjoon is always the one who gives him advice.
Who helped him to deal with all the challenges life had ever thrown his way.
He trusts Namjoon more than he trusts himself.
“Head home for now,” Namjoon tells him. “We’re not going to figure anything out right now.”
Jimin looks down at his hands where the tiny bit of makeup he’d been wearing was smudged across his skin.
Namjoon helps him to stand on his shaky legs, helps him to get into a cab that takes him down the busy streets of Seoul.
A city that Jimin is still trying to get used to.
Before everything seemed so vibrant and full of life, but now Jimin can barely hear the sounds of the cars and the people.
The sights all blur together as he leans against the seats and his mind can only see the way Yoongi had looked at him, at the tears he’d shed.
The driver has to tell Jimin a few times that they’ve arrived before he is brought back to reality.
Paying the driver and then dragging himself out of the car and into his new building.
He hasn’t even had enough time to memorize the codes yet, he has to pull his phone out and check his notes before punching the numbers in.
It all seems so monotonous, his moves robotic like he’s detached from himself.
No one else is in the apartment when he opens the door which means that Jimin is spared from having to explain why he looks so devastated.
Without thinking, he enters the bathroom and turns on the water from the sink.
Letting the water run over his fingers as it goes from cold to warm to hot before splashing it onto his face.
Trying to wash away the mess he’s made of his face and deeper down the torment he feels just under his skin.
He can’t even look at himself in the mirror as he washes up, too ashamed of what he’ll see there.
Curiosity gets the better of him when it comes to the mark though.
Pulling off his shirt to look at the skin where it has changed in appearance.
Somehow his skin feels alive around the mark, pulsating with an awareness of what has happened.
How Yoongi’s touch has brought the mark to life.
He lets out a small hiss as he touches a finger to trace over the skin, still feeling fresh like an open wound.
It’s the oddest thing in the world, the mark had always been there and yet it looks brand new.
Jimin can’t seem to wrap his mind around any of it.
Or maybe he doesn’t want to, doesn’t want to accept the implications of what it all means.
Could anything good come out of this?
Jimin didn’t see how that was possible.
In all the options he thinks of someone was going to get hurt if not all of them.
As he lays down in bed his mind goes back to Yoongi and all his memories of him are tied to Namjoon.
When Namjoon first told him he was dating someone new, when Namjoon had texted him a picture he’d taken of Yoongi’s smiling face, when Namjoon had told Jimin he was falling in love.
Jimin’s throat burns as he thinks of them and he can feel tears building up behind his eyes again.
As a little boy, Jimin had always thought he’d be like a prince going into the world to find his one true love.
Now Jimin only feels like the villain in this story, ruining a happy couple and perhaps ruining a friendship too.
Namjoon’s friendship means everything to him and he only wants to see him happy.
He never thought his soulmate would be someone he might not want to be with.
Somehow, they had to find a way for everyone to be happy again. If only he knew how.