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There you sat, moping. You felt stupid, awful really. There was no reason behind it, it felt like there never was. Maybe you were just making all of it up and being stupid and dramatic. Then you would get frustrated from thinking at all, everything quickly turning too complicated and turning your brain to mush. You felt gross, all the happiness that was supposed to flood your system and help you act normal instead leaked out of your eyes.
You’re alone. You are completely and utterly alone, and nothing ever feels right, and you try to hug yourself to make it all feel okay, to keep some semblance of yourself inside. It's like a small little droplet of gold inside your heart that you try so hard t care for and cherish. But it’s hard when you can’t function- when giving up is so easy and letting yourself drown becomes comfortable.
Then an odd feeling. It’s warm, maybe? Definitely not normal. But… not in a bad way. It’s a comforting feeling. It makes you peek your eyes out from under your arm, but of course, nothing is actually there with you. Though, it feels like… arms wrapped around you; a force trying to pull you up. You reach your arm out and close your eyes; it feels like some sort of dramatic scene you’d see in a movie and you almost laugh to yourself over how stupid your acting. Then something brushes against your fingers. Your eyes shoot open, and nothing is there. It’s just your silly childish imagination.
You huff out a breath, fully lifting your head from your knees. You stare at the room you’ve been living in for god-knows-how-long and see the mess, everything’s in disarray. Bit and pieces where you tried to pull yourself together enough to at least clean showing in stacked books and papers, all of your recyclables haphazardly tossed into the same general area, waiting for you to drag yourself to properly clean them up, and other things that don't look clean, but were attempts at normalcy.
You snivel a bit uncurling from the ball you tightly held yourself in at the corner of your bed. Your body aches, knots of stress straining in your back, as you stand yourself up and stretch. Stars flood your vision, then fade and you let yourself adjust. You know that’s not healthy but brush it aside. The warm fluttering that you had felt seemed to disappear at first, though as you moved out of your bedroom you could almost feel it linger by your side, like a faint murmur.
You though perhaps a ghost; then immediately rolled your eyes at yourself, continuing on to your kitchen.
If only you knew he was there for you.
You looked over the plants you had growing on your windowsill and a small smile crept its way onto your face. It almost felt foreign, and that thought alone brought the weight back down onto your chest. You just stood there for a moment. The sunshine that had been glimmering through your window seemed to skitter away as if sensing your gloom. Maybe that was it, you didn’t deserve nice things, and good things just wanted to run away from you, to escape you because you’re just too much of a hassle to deal with; because you’re too much of an annoying problem-
You startle again. The peculiar warm feeling returning, ever persistent and wrapping around your midsection, as if it were hugging you once more. You didn’t even notice you started crying until you let go, letting yourself crumple to the floor,
“Why? Why do you keep trying? Just leave me alone!” you spoke to the absolute nothing that was there, you felt insane speaking aloud to nothing. But again it persisted, it felt so real now, hands cupping your face and jaw, and something pressing against your forehead. You felt stupid! This is crazy! But it felt so nice, it felt like tenderness and caring, and love. You cried more, you didn’t know what else to do, you were so far gone that you were hallucinating basic affection. Your eyes clouded with tears that you couldn’t stop, when suddenly,
“Ora,”
You paused, not sure what that was. You immediately looked up, blinking tears from your eyes. Then you blinked a few more times. What?
Eyes stared back at you, big, bright, blue eyes. They were staring right back at you, and they looked sad; sympathetic.
“What….” was all you could say, you were speechless, staring at the hulking figure before you. It was truly ethereal, dark flowing hair that looked like a starry night, with violet skin and dressed like some kind of warrior. You reached out and tried to touch it and it was solid, even though it didn’t feel of this world, it was there. Its eyes widened, and you immediately drew your hand back, before it let out a small noise, chasing your hand with both of its own. Its hands were huge. Well, in general, it was huge, but your hand looked like a kittens paw in the palm of a lions.
Whatever this was, it was the same thing as that feeling, the warm touch. You immediately flushed at that, thinking of how embarrassing it was that such a stunning being saw you in such a state, but feeling the way it carefully placed your own hand against its face, you sensed it did not care.
And he didn’t. Star couldn’t care less because all he wanted was to comfort you, you were so small, and fragile, he wanted to protect you. He saw you as the most beautiful thing in the world and to see you so sad all the time, it hurt.
But now he was here, and he would hold you, and he would protect you from all those bad thoughts, and he would love you.