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Oh his eyes, his eyes
Make the stars look like
They're not shining
His hair, his hair
Falls perfectly without him trying
Once again I am here, in my cabin, alone. The only son of Hades alive, always alone. Laying in my bed looking at the black ceiling while I hear the other campers talking outside. The bonfire crackles while Apollo’s children sing songs about the camp, and he is there. Zeus, how I would like to not think about him, but even by listening his siblings’ voices I already imagine his blond hair, his blue eyes with that mischievous gleam when he speaks about what he did that day, his perfect white smile. Why is it that in moments like this that song he showed me seems to fit so well?
He's so beautiful
And I tell him every day
Why did I have to fall in love with him? Will Solace, the sunshine of the camp, Apollo’s cabin’s head counselor, super skilled. Afrodite, isn’t my life already totally screwed? Besides all the story of being Hades's son, move between both camps and all that, now this? Falling in love with someone that is totally my opposite? Someone I know won’t return my feelings? Someone to whom I will never have even the courage to declare to.
Yeah I know, I know
When I compliment him,
He won’t believe me
And it’s so, it’s so
Sad to think he don't see what I see
I still remember when I noticed I liked him. That day when, after bringing Reyna to Camp Half-Blood using shadow travel, I almost killed myself and I had to stay in the infirmary for so long, I understood he wasn’t only another pretty face and that, surprisingly, he isn’t afraid of me. Will took care of me like any other patient, he talked with me, bickered with me and wanted to be my friend. And before I knew, no thoughts of leaving the camp went through my head, I started to think that, this time, I would like to have more courage and tell him what I feel. Not let this time be like what happened with Percy, destroying our friendship because of my fear of rejection.
But every time he asks me do I look okay
I say…
Percy, another thing in my life that could have been so different. How I wish I hadn’t distanced myself from everyone when I was scared for not being able to understand my own feelings, because of the anger and loneliness that Bianca’s death brought. I would have found my place so much more easily. I would have been with Percy in many other moments, I would have noticed that the infatuation I felt for him came much more from the hero worship I had for him that from an actual feeling.
When I see your face
There's not a thing that I would change
Cause you're amazing
Just the way you are
And when you smile,
The whole world stops and stares for awhile
But now what I need to do is talk with Percy, show him that that feeling is already gone, and wish him and Annabeth all the best. The most important thing right now is to find out what I should do about my feelings for Will… I can’t imagine how he would like me back, but I can’t let that stop me from telling him how I feel. If he doesn’t feel the same, I will say that I wish we can still be friends. And I won’t distance myself, never again.
Cause boy you're amazing
Just the way you are
After thinking about what to do for so long, I got up from my bed and leave my cabin. Outside the moon shines and the bonfire seems to call all campers. It’s funny seeing both camps interacting, the roman with their rules and traditions and the greek so carefree. I stop for a moment to look at all the faces around the fire, Piper, Jason, Frank, my sister Hazel, Reyna, Percy, Annabeth, and many more, way more relaxed that I have seen them in weeks or even months. The only one that doesn’t seem to be so unconcerned is Will, he isn’t singing ou playing an instrument like his siblings and keeps looking everywhere looking for something, or someone. When our eyes met he smiles and I notice I am the one he was looking for.
His lips, his lips
I could kiss them all day if he'd let me
His laugh, his laugh
He hates but I think it’s so sexy
With my heart beating like crazy I wave in his direction. He gets up and comes to where I am standing.
- Hi. - He says awkwardly.
- Hey, why aren’t you singing with your siblings? The Will Solace I know would never miss a chance to sing. - I ask with a smile.
- Well, I wasn’t feeling like singing and I was worried about you. It hasn’t been that long since you got out of the infirmary, you could be feeling unwell. - He explained while looking at the bonfire, his eyes earning a red gleam making them look warmer than normal.
- Everything is alright, I’m fine. I was just thinking about a lot of things. - I clarify looking at the place our friends were sitting. Percy tells Jason a joke, who looks at him like he can’t understand how that is Poseidon’s great son.
- Hiding away from other campers? - Will inquires casually. His eyes still fixed on the fire.
- No, never again. - I reply with certainty, his eyes meet mine.
- That’s good, that means I can spend more time with you then. - He comments, smiled widely.
He's so beautiful
And I tell him every day
- I hope so. Or are you going to be scared of the big mean son of Hades? - I question him laughing at the way some of Hermes’ younger kids called me a couple of days ago.
- Not even if you wanted to you could scare me Nico, the only thing that scares me in you is how pale you are, I already said you should stay more in the sun. - Will banters lightly while he knocks my should with his. We start to walk around the cabins, moving away from the bonfire without paying attention.
- Ha ha, you are so funny Solace. - I mock rolling my eyes.
Oh you know, you know, you know
I’d never ask you to change
If perfect’s what you're searching for
Then just stay the same
- But really, what are your plans for now? You and Percy already said that you stay a while at Camp Jupiter, and there’s your dad’s palace. What are you going to do? Hazel seems to be expecting you to stay with her. - Will questions after a couple of seconds of silence.
- I was thinking about that in my cabin. I think I will start to spend more time in both camps and not that much with my dad. I want to be closer to Hazel and everyone else. - I inform him while we walk. We are close, I can feel the heat from his body reaching mine through our clothes.
- Alright, then there’s no more disappearing for unknown periods of time? - Will probes, my brain says he seems hopeful, but I ignore it.
- No more disappearing for unknown periods of time. Actually, I will show up so much that you guys will wish I didn’t come here that much. - I joke smiling. We are close to the lake, the freshness of the water is welcomed in this hot summer night.
So don't even bother asking
If you look okay
You know I say
We stop at the shore, the cicadas are singing, the water nymphs look at us from underwater as if they know something. The tree leaves sway in the gentle wind, just like Will’s hair.
- There’s not a thing in the world that would make me want you away, Nico. You can be extra annoying with me and that won’t change. - Will emphasizes before sitting down on a rock. He smiles, but his eyes are serious. I realize by the way he said that that he might think I still feel like I am not really part of either camp.
- Then get ready Solace, because I will be ultra annoying with you. - I swear, and out of nowhere, I put my hand in the water and splash some of it in his face.
When I see your face
There's not a thing that I would change
Cause you're amazing
Just the way you are
And when you smile,
The whole world stops and stares for awhile
Cause boy you're amazing
Just the way you are
The face Will makes is so surprise I start to laugh and get distracted, until I feel water running down my face. Will is not that far away, his two hands inside the water and a childish grin on his face. Some water drops are moving down his face and in the strong moonlight I can see the small freckles that frame his face. We start throwing water at one another laughing, until we are both soaked, somehow getting closer to each other. Will brushes his wet hair out of his twinkling eyes, we are both breathing heavily, trying to calm our heart down. I could touch every single one of his freckles in that moment if I stretched my hand. For the first time in a long while I felt safe, happy and wanted. Before I throw myself head first in this camp life I need to tell him how I feel.
The way you are
The way you are
Boy you're amazing
Just the way you are
- Will… I need to tell you something. - I say, my heart beats faster, I can feel my blood rushing to my face and making me red. Will looks even more handsome under the bluish light, the noises of the cicadas seems to have diminished, even though that is probably my imagination.
He looks at me confused, but doesn’t say anything, waiting for me to talk. I take a deep breath, the smell of grass is strong, the lake’s water was chilly and the wing on my wet clothes makes me feel cold, but never before I have felt so alive, full of energy. Not even when I was travelling with Reyna bringing the Athena Parthenos to the camp, or when when I was in Tartarus. I breathe deeply, trying to collect all the courage in the world.
- I like you. - The words leave my mouth rapidly, like pulling a band-aid, and I feel relieved, as if a weight had been taken out of my back. I don’t look at Will but stare at the grass at his feet. - I thought it was better to tell you, I know I already told you about Percy, and about that time I thought I would like anyone so soon after him. But after spending time in the infirmary, our conversations, everything that has happened, the prophecy of the seven, Tartarus, it just… happened, and when I realized, I already liked you. I don’t expect you to feel the same, and I don’t really need an answer, I just wanted to tell you...
- Nico! – I notice that I had started speaking without a pause and Will’s yell brings me back to reality. I look at him, his eyes glisten as if… are those tears? Will is crying? Why is he crying? Have I done something? I start to panic until I feel his hands over mine. - What you said is true? Are you sure?
Will’s voice is low, and I feel the necessity to speak quietly as well. I stare at his eyes, trying to make him understand all the feelings I don’t know how to describe.
- Yes, I like you Will Solace. - I whisper, surprised to notice his arms on my waist. Will spins us in circles and then I hear his laugh.
- This is the best day ever! - Will screams, the water nymphs in the water, that until now were quiet, start giggling, and I look at his face. A wide smile seems to be etched on his face, his eyes reflect the light of the moon and Will looks happier than all the times I have seen him singing and playing an instrument. - I also like you Nico di Angelo.
Those few words fill my chest with warmth and in that moment I am the happiest person in the universe, I feel like I can do anything. Will likes me!
- Now that you confessed to me, I have to say I will not leave you alone. - Will hugs me more tightly, his body seems even more warm and I don’t want to get away from him.
- That’s fine with me. - I state looking at him.
His eyes acquire a mischievous gleam and he comes closer until our lips touch and in that moment, the world seemed to stop.
When I see your face
There’s not a thing that I would change
Cause you’re amazing
Just the way you are
And when you smile,
The whole world stops and stares for awhile
Cause boy you're amazing
Just the way you are