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Roman bled out onto the floor. And it was all their fault.
How had this even happened? They hadn't... They hadn't meant to do this. They hadn't meant to hurt him.
~*~
It was a Friday evening, just after school. Friday was the one day that Roman was free - the one day Declan could hang out with him. They supposed that they at least got to see him at rehearsals, but they weren't in any classes together, and rehearsals weren't exactly a great place for a get together. Besides, Roman had his lead role, and Declan was chorus, so they didn't get much time to hang out at rehearsals anyway.
So on a Friday evening they always hung out together. Declan would take Roman down into the woods, usually just for a walk and a chat, but sometimes they'd play games. Fake sword fights with sticks, climbing trees to jump into lakes, extreme hide-and-seek that's really more like hunting each other down. The games got more and more dangerous, and with each new danger added, Roman got happier. Declan loved to see him happy - he always looked happy, but Declan could see through him. They knew he was lying every day, trying to keep up a persona, and they knew eventually he would break. But they could see him happy, truly happy, when they played their games.
And, of course, now they'd upped the stakes. Declan owned a set of knifes - decorative knives, handed down the family, like heirlooms of sorts, but still dangerous. Sharp. Declan hadn't been entirely certain whether or not they should bring them, but Roman had basically melted at the idea, he hadn't stop talking about it for days. And, yeah, fake sword fights with sticks got boring after a while, and even Declan was beginning to want something more real.
So the two knifes clashed together, as the two of them moved around the forest. The knifes weren't swords, of course - they were much too small to be swords, but they were almost daggers. Enough to spar with, at least. That was all they really wanted - a chance to prove themselves as a good fighter, in a real fight. Neither wanted to hurt the other, of course. This was all in good fun. A distraction from the real world. Perhaps a way of pretending that something better was going on, something more exciting, that the two of them were fighting for something, making a different.
Roman had pushed Declan up against a tree, his knife now a couple inches away from Declan's neck. Their arm fell to their side, knife hanging low, accepting that Roman had beat them. And that was fine - they just have to come back with a vengeance next time.
Their eyes glanced down to Roman's lips for a second, before looking back up into Roman's eyes, smirking. And Roman was blushing - God, he was blushing. It took all of Declan's power to not lean forward and kiss Roman there and then - the only reason they didn't was because that knife would be straight through their neck if they did, and they didn't particularly feel like dying that day.
So instead, whilst Roman was momentarily distracted, Declan lifted up their arms and pushed Roman off them. His eyes widened and he fell to the floor with a groan, to which Declan grinned and held the knife out, pointed towards Roman's chest. That probably would have looked cooler with a sword - maybe it would have actually reached his chest - but they had to make do.
It wasn't until Declan noticed the pool of blood on the floor next to Roman that they lost their grin.
~*~
They cradled Roman in their arms, trying to stop tears flowing from their eyes. There was a cut on his lower stomach - their knife must have slipped back when they pushed Roman off them, cutting through the fabric of his shirt and into the skin, drawing blood. Declan had already ripped off part of their own shirt to make a makeshift bandage around the wound, but...
Fuck. Roman was unconscious, Declan was pretty sure. They had no idea what they were supposed to do in this situation. If they went back home to get help, the blame would be put on them - they'd have to explain that they had hurt Roman. Or lie, they supposed, but... if- when Roman woke up, he would tell everyone what really happened, and-
God, Roman would hate them for this, wouldn't he? They could have... might have... could have killed him. They didn't, of course, surely it hadn't gone that far, but...
Oh God, what if it had? What if Roman was now dying in Declan's arms, because of what Declan had done?
They... They needed to get Roman to safety. To a hospital, or at least back home. Somewhere where there was a person who could help Roman, heal him, do... something. They tried to lift Roman up, but their arms gave in. Tears fell down their face, blurring their view.
There was a quiet groan, and movement underneath Declan's arms. An eye opened - Roman was awake. Declan breathed out a sigh of relief, but their fear and guilt was still overwhelming.
"What-"
"Stay still," Declan said, cringing a little at how hoarse their voice was. "You're bleeding."
That probably wasn't the best thing to say to Roman when they wanted him to stay still. Roman began to panic, trying to sit up and get out of Declan's grasp. But Declan just held on tighter, keeping him in place.
"We need to get you someplace safe, alright?" Declan said.
"Call a fucking ambulance."
Declan blinked. That... was actually a good idea. It would be hard to explain, but... They got out their phone and called the emergency services, giving away their location and waiting for help to arrive.
"What the fuck happened?" Roman asked, whilst they waited.
Declan didn't know what to say. If Roman really didn't know what had happened, they had a chance to get away free, right? They could make something up, make it seem as though they were completely innocent. And maybe that would be betraying Roman's trust, maybe that wasn't a thing that friends should do, but... if Roman knew the truth, they wouldn't even be friends anymore. And they'd never get that chance of becoming something more, either.
"It was an accident," was all Declan could manage.
Roman stared into their eyes, and Declan couldn't help but notice the fear in his expression. He looked as though he thought he... that he wouldn't make it.
But he would make it. Of course he would.
"I made a mistake," Declan continued, knowing that Roman deserved to know. They didn't want to lie to Roman. They couldn't lie to Roman. "I must have accidentally cut you when I pushed you off me. I- I swear it was an accident. I'm... I'm sorry."
Roman said nothing.
And Declan began to panic. "I- I love you, Roman, okay?" they said, without thinking. "And I never want to hurt you. But- But I have now, and I'm sorry, and I feel awful, and I'm scared, and-"
Roman shushed him. He was... smiling. "It's alright, Declan. I'm not angry at you. It was an accident."
Now it was Declan's turn to stare.
"But maybe we shouldn't play with knives anymore," he added.
Declan glanced down, avoiding direct eye contact with Roman. "You're... not mad at me?"
"Why would I be mad at you?"
"I almost killed you."
Roman shook his head. "Nah. Don't think anything can kill me, actually."
"Roman-"
"Okay, okay." Roman sighed. "I'm not gonna be mad at you for something that was clearly an accident. And I love you too, alright? Let's just... forget about all this. I'll be alright."
Declan could hear the distant sound of sirens. They closed their eyes and held Roman tighter.