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His heavy breathing resounds all over their room. This happens often when midnight comes though Jeonghan cannot contain his fear alone anymore. It hurts his heart and starting to suffocate him so he is clutching his chest.
Exhaling softly, he reach out. Jeonghan wasn't so sure if the other would get conscious or annoyed to his sudden action but he made the risk because he needed to. His chest feels so awfully painful. His dream is starting to took over his mind, affecting him in reality. And Mingyu, his husband knows nothing about his roller coaster of internal issues because he kept it from him. Jeonghan was never like this before but everything turned a full round degree right after their marriage. It's harder for him because Mingyu's family resides on a different state of living.
"Hmmn....?" Mingyu stirred, eyes were half-closed as he turned to his left. Jeonghan was lying on his side.
"Mingyu..... I- " Jeonghan called softly, above a whisper. It took a moment for Mingyu to realized that his spouse was breathing heavily.
"Oh hey...what's wrong? Are you alright? Dear, tell me!?" He got up, pulling a small towel on the bedside table. The dim lighting of the room makes it hard for Mingyu to tell if Jeonghan was just having a nightmare but the glistening of sweat on the side of the most beautiful face was clear so he gently wiped it.
"Do you need something?" The growing concern on Mingyu's face was enough for Jeonghan to breathe slowly so he'd calm himself down.
"I'm....scared..." Jeonghan revealed as Mingyu dabbed the soft towel on his forehead. He clutched one hand on Mingyu's arm as his other still on his chest. "Mingyu...listen to me. I'm really scared.... Don't go anywhere...Don't leave me..." Jeonghan knows he sounded so desperate, even weird. But the urge was so strong that night that he couldn't take it anymore. He need to make Mingyu know.
"Shhh...hey dear? What is it? Why are you scared? Scared of what?" Mingyu shushed him. Jeonghan had his temple kissed. "What were you saying? I'm not going anywhere." Mingyu asked since and confirmed. His husky-deep voice, it was soothing to Jeonghan but still, his heart is pounding. He doesn't know what to do when he finally got up and embrace his husband. He cling to Mingyu really tight and was breathing erratically. His sobbing started as soon as Mingyu held him up, whispering sweetness to his ear while rubbing his back gently.
They cuddle like that for a good moment until Jeonghan had come to control his breathing. He took in slow breaths as he again put a hand on his chest to somehow keep his own fear. Mingyu brushed some stray locks from his face and wiped his little tears. He was smiling warmly and Jeonghan's heart melted instead.
How come he had broke up with this same man four times in their teenage years? How come he did snobbed him back then, didn't showed up so many times to their supposedly dates? And how come he had almost runaway on their wedding day? How did Jeonghan took all that knowing Mingyu had confessed to him ever since the beginning of high school? Was crazy over him and never did gave up on wooing him until it took Jeonghan approximately five years to answer yes. And yes it's true that Mingyu's family background was all that Jeonghan didn't like and the only thing that hinders his own feeling for the boy in the past.
And now....Now the table had been turned. Jeonghan knows he couldn't live without Mingyu.
"Hannie-ya, you know you can tell me anything. What's bothering you and what are you afraid of?" Mingyu ask again.
"Mingyu I- I am having this dream. It was like...a same dream." Jeonghan answered. His voice was very soft and low so he was wondering if his husband could hear him enough.
"You had a dream? What dream?" And Jeonghan had looked his husband in the eye. He'll be telling Mingyu now.
"I had dream of me and you. We were like....trapped in a dark cave....." Jeonghan started.
Mingyu was thankfully dead serious, looking at him intently as he held one of Jeonghan's hand. As he continued, Mingyu's feature seems worried but then, he felt assured that his husband wanted to listen.
"We were inside it and there was lake water under that had the same darkness. There, we were sitting on a small boat and just floating." Jeonghan tried to explain every details he could remembered about his dream because it felt like there's a hidden meaning behind those vivid scenarios.
"And then when I turned to look up, there was a hairy, troll-like creature standing upon the rocks and I screamed so loud." Jeonghan slightly shook his head to fade the image of the horrible creature in his memory. That thing causes him to have cold sweat every night it appears in his dream.
Mingyu took him again into an embrace that made Jeonghan feel so safe in the middle of the night.
"It's alright Hannie-ya. I'm here." Mingyu cooed, rubbing Jeonghan's back gently to ensure him that everything was going to be fine and that dreams are far from reality.
"I'm so scared of it Mingyu! I- - I turned away so that I couldn't see it's face but the creature spoke in a grieving tone that 'only one can get out of this cave and the other will have to stay. The only way out is to take the boat to go through the dark tunnel but only one passenger.' " Jeonghan continued.
He could still feel the fear because sadly it was lingering so he's shaking uncontrollably. The room was quiet and he could hear Mingyu's breathing.
"You then get off of the boat. You jumped onto the dark water even though I was wailing and begging you to not leave me alone." Jeonghan breathed out. It sure hurts like it was real. "You just smiled at me. Only smiled and said.... for my sake, you'll do anything. You told me 'I love you'." There, he told Mingyu everything.
His scary dreams and childish-like reasoning of waking his husband up at midnight. Yes, Jeonghan thought that he must be very childish when it comes to Mingyu but, he will throw all pieces of his pride out the window just to make sure his husband would listen and obey him of everything he would ask for. And do not label Jeonghan as a bossy-snobbing bitch because he is not one for real. He's just too engrossed on his husband's well-being and for their own future family.
Truthfully, even after all the twists and turns on their relationship, the conflicts and doubts, Jeonghan had learned to become a part-time steel-hearted spouse. He definitely needs to be. Because if he's not, he might have walk out a long time already. It is so hard to be in his shoes.
In Mingyu's family line, the stress and unending issues comes and goes. Politics is Jeonghan's most hated kind of society. It sometimes disgust him when some politicians only reason to appear in public's eyes is when they needed the people to get to a higher possible position in the government. Some only comes forth to pose and sweet-talk on campaigns or when they wanted to boast their so-called, very- questionable humanitarian projects.
Jeonghan once promised to his young self that he will never befriend or even get close to anyone that has politics in their bloodline. And yet.... this cheeky thing called destiny likes to play around with people like him so in the end, he met Kim Mingyu. The most fine, good-looking man Jeonghan had ever saw and had turned down so many times because the boy was sadly a son of a known politician. That time, Jeonghan was torn between his pride and heart but then, all events turned upside down on him. He fell for the young man so hard, making it the peak irony of his life.
"It's just a dream Han. Not real. And there's no way I would ever leave you. Of all people, you should know that right?" Mingyu's eyes locked on him as he lifted Jeonghan's face so that they were looking right at each other. He nodded to assure Jeonghan then planted a soft and firm kiss on those perfect-shaped lips.
"What are you even thinking of lately? You seem uneased. Maybe you're just watching too much news." Mingyu smirked. His words sounds half-joked but the look on his face tells otherwise. He's worried and Jeonghan could see it right through him. Mingyu may know nothing of Jeonghan's inner struggles but he always make sure that he's very sensitive when it comes to Jeonghan's feelings.
"God...I swear, you're overreacting sometimes." Mingyu chokes on a laugh as Jeonghan hit him in the chest playfully. "See? You're overthinking everything that you have forgotten how much I had endured fighting for you to become my other half." Jeonghan blushed. He couldn't help but felt heat creeping up his face. He must have looked red as tomato right there. "If I would give up and leave you, then I shouldn't have waited five freaking years for your hand Jeonghan." Mingyu shift them and lay Jeonghan back gently. He hovers until their faces are nose and breath apart.
Big, calloused hand tracing Jeonghan's cheek and he held his breath as his chest starts to pound again. But this time, it wasn't because of fear.
"God...I'm so crazy over you I think you should have know that by now.." Mingyu's own breath was so hot against his skin or is it the way Mingyu's hand slid down and crept under his oversized-borrowed shirt? Familiar fingers were rubbing his over-sensitive perk of flesh. Jeonghan suddenly shrieked when Mingyu sucked on his right nipple.
"Mingyu...ah!...Be gentle...My chest....lately it hurts." He suddenly remembered that he's not feeling really well this past few days. It's not that his sex drive was low or anything. He also thought that stress and sleeplessness had taken a toll on his body but Jeonghan didn't want to turn down his husband.
"I'll massage them then. Hmmn?" Mingyu suggested out of the blue and all Jeonghan could do is nod with his eyes closed. He fairly knows it's impossible that this touches will not end up more than what Mingyu intends to.
The way he was now kissing Jeonghan's side of the neck and the pressure he's doing at the slight-rounded flesh, it's obvious. "Hmmmn...Hannie-ya....you smell so good..." Mingyu breathed against his skin. It's warm and slick when tongue touches under his ear.
"Mingyu-...." Jeonghan could only moan. His husband's name was like a mantra that tends to tell a pulsing signal.
"Han...I- can I....I'm really hard right now..." There, the obvious. Mingyu was subtly thrusting his hips against the side of Jeonghan's leg. The massive hard on was impossible to deny when Mingyu absentmindedly lifted his leg and positioned smoothly.
When Jeonghan wide- eyed gasped, it was already too late to tell Mingyu to do him gently. The penetration always hurts and specifically if Mingyu was doing it raw. But lately, it was suggestively more painful it scares Jeonghan.
"Mingyu....Mingyu...." He moaned. He can only moan and squeezed hard his eyes close to the burning sensation.
"You're so beautiful....I love you so much Han....God...." Mingyu groaned. His voice deep in utter pleasure. He's thrusting with force but with carefulness Jeonghan was thankful of. Even if he had to suffer afterwards, it's all right to Jeonghan. He will offer his whole body whenever Mingyu wish for it. Fulfilling his husband's desires will forever be his sacred duty and happiness.
As he finally had the courage to open his eyes and look up to the man above him, Jeonghan could only smile. He cupped Mingyu's strained, flushed face. The beads of sweat dripping down from his husband's handsome face was gleaming against the dimness of the room.
Jeonghan doesn't need to know how far their relationship would go. Or how long their feelings would stay or whether they would truly grow old together. One thing is for sure now. He will never regret going against his will and married this man.
...........................................................
The sun comes and Mingyu wokes up to the sound of people talking from the outside. He had totally forgot that he will have a visitor coming that morning.
He took his phone and wasn't surprised by the few missed calls that were registered and had forgot to check. It was already 8:47am. Turning to his side, Jeonghan had already gotten up so he hurriedly put on his shirt and went down.
"Oh finally you got up! Not answering my calls doesn't mean you're safe from being raided early in the morning my dear son." The middle-aged politician warmed up. He was in all formal and looking so intimidating. Sometimes, it terrifies Mingyu that he was the spitting image of the man. And although he didn't intentionally rejected the calls, that might have anger his father because unprofessionalism is something the older man cannot condone. If only he hadn't stayed up very late last night watching over Jeonghan....
"Good morning Dad. I-... Sorry for..." Mingyu stuttered and didn't had the chance to finish because he already saw Jeonghan beside his father. The older man might have told Jeonghan about the meeting of the international parliaments.
"It's alright son. But why hadn't you discuss the assembly I was talking about to you two weeks ago to your spouse. He is suppose to know. Look at poor Jeonghannie. He was really surprised when I told him earlier." His father revealed and Mingyu was on the very verge of punching his own face.
"I was going to..." Mingyu countered but then, it was too late now.
Jeonghan's eyes turned glassy as the older man comforted him. Even if he's a person with a high standing, Jeonghan had come to respect him not just because he was a known political figure or a very rich man but because, he was unknowingly different from those annoying politicians. He was kindhearted just like his son. And because he was Mingyu's spouse, it dawns in him that he is now part of their family no matter what.
"Jeonghannie....I know it's hard for you to get used to this kind of life, to our designated work but you need to understand that Mingyu is my only successor. He will inherit all my properties and because the two of you married at a very young age, it's safe to say that I am helping you both to build a strong foundation. I am going to make him my apprentice so he will end up taking my position." Explained the older man and Mingyu was totally on the verge of bolting out of the house. It's too early for them to be in this kind of confrontation. He was raking a hand on his hair, distress must be written all over his face. Mingyu was very much disappointed with himself.
"Believe me Jeonghannie, I do care about your standing and I can really tell you are honestly devoted to my son. Sorry that you had to endure everything but you are part of our family now. You need to widen your mind and perception so you can understand Mingyu's position. And I know that this is not an easy task for you but I do believe that you'll get use to this someday." He patted Jeonghan on the back. The older man smiled at him. It was a reassuring kind and very understanding.
It must be rude if Jeonghan would voice out his true perception against politics but he is no saint after all. He could try being an understanding spouse and try his very best to not cling too much on his husband but there is always this inner fear in him.
Politics is way too complicated. Too stressful, problematic and even dangerous that can cause issues right and left. Jeonghan couldn't really say it aloud because of respect but when it comes to his husband, he will not just sit there and wait for the trouble to come arise.
This wasn't the only time they had an argument regarding Mingyu doing things or errands for his father and Jeonghan had simply agreed to them as they were being executed within the country. But going outside of Korea, far and very controversial is another thing.
Jeonghan simply turned to his husband. Mingyu was all but silent and he couldn't take it as he's getting nervous by the moment. His head is feeling heavy, he felt dizzy. Mingyu hadn't gone abroad since they had lived together. It would be very hard for Jeonghan. Separation anxiety is one thing but his scary dreams is ghosting again.
"Why....didn't you...say anything about this?" Jeonghan breathed out as he tried so hard to not show how weak he feels. He was sure that he might pass out if Mingyu would really go with his father.
Mingyu shooked his head. Now he is starting to regret not telling Jeonghan about the overseas conference. He got the hardest time thinking whether to tell Jeonghan about how his father was now officially presenting him as the next in the line or how to make Jeonghan agree to let him go abroad as an unofficial politician. Mingyu was torned. He couldn't decide even until now. He's ashamed of himself because he had played the ideal husband to Jeonghan.
"I- Han...." Mingyu was cut again by Jeonghan reaching out instead to the older man.
"Dad....I- ...I am so sorry but...can you...can you not bring Mingyu?" Jeonghan, almost in tears gathers up the little courage he has. His knees were already feeling weak as well as his voice and body. He was tugging at his chest to stay up and was gravely praying for the older man to have mercy on his pathetic wish.
Yes, Jeonghan knew he looked so immature and it's really embarassing but the idea of his husband going away made him lose his mind.
"Plea- - please Dad....Don't bring Mingyu...I'm begging you. Please....take another...." Jeonghan didn't know he was stuttering as he plead. The older man looked at him worriedly.
"Jeonghannie, you know we can't postpone something this big. I'm acting as an ambassador this time and it's a great opportunity to bring Mingyu as a subcontractor. I can introduce him to the representatives there. And besides...it's only for three days."
Mingyu could only shook his head in utter disbelief. He doesn't really know how to handle a situation like this. His own father and his spouse, he doesn't know how to meddle in between.
He could only stood there but the look in Jeonghan's face told him clearly that something was off. And before Jeonghan could speak another word, all of a sudden he grab his head then fainted right before them. Luckily before he could hit the floor, he was caught by Mingyu who dashed like mad just to catch Jeonghan in time.
"Hannie-ya!" Mingyu shouted as he tried to hold Jeonghan up. His poor dear so pale and wasn't responding.
It happened so fast that Mingyu and his father didn't have the time to react. The older man suddenly took Jeonghan into his arms.
"Go son! Get the car! Jeonghannie look sick. Drive us to the hospital!"
.........................................................
It feels like he's done something so mindless. He walked back and forth outside the room where Jeonghan was being examined. He felt so helpless and it didn't seem like Jeonghan just had a nervous breakdown.
The past few days, Jeonghan seems very tired and Mingyu much like didn't give it a close attention. He didn't think it could be this serious.
Almost an hour passed as he's getting weak in the knees because he doesn't know what would be of him if something bad would happen to Jeonghan. He had been sweating cold since they were on the car and it is somehow a miracle he had brought them to the hospital safe even though his hands were shaking and mind's a mess with his heart pounding crazy hard as he drove fast.
"Get a hold of yourself son. Be strong. Jeonghan needs you now more than anything." His father patted his back and just like that, Mingyu had kind of remember the same gesture on the day of his wedding. "You'll be leading a family of your own my son so, become a stronger man from now on." His father had told him.
"Thank you Dad. But, how about the conference? What time is our flight?" Although he still doesn't know Jeonghan's result, he'll take responsibility as an apprentice of his father. Professionalism is one he had inherited from him.
"Oh no- No don't worry about it. I just called in earlier for a cancellation. I told them that we cannot make it in time because we had a family emergency. I already offered an optional substitute for them. They have received but I have to wait for their confirmation."
"I'm really sorry Dad...I didn't know this would happen and sorry I hadn't told Jeonghan about- "
"It's alright. Jeonghan is also my son. He's way more important than anything." The older man waved out all of Mingyu's worries. Like his father knew deep down how much Jeonghan mean to him.
Mingyu silently muttered a 'thank you Dad'. He was more than grateful to his father now. No more demands. Just a father to his son.
The physician suddenly arrived. She approached them holding a tickler out.
"Are you Mr. Kim?" The middle-aged lady asked.
"Ah yes..." Mr. Kim answered eagerly.
"Yoon Jeonghan's husband?" The lady drew out, a fine eyebrow slightly raise under her glasses.
"Ah no. That would be my son, Kim Mingyu. Aha ha..." Awkwardly, he turned to Mingyu who was suddenly turning pale.
"Yes..I'm Kim Mingyu. Yoon Jeonghan's husband." Mingyu gulped. He's hardly stable at the moment. It couldn't be a bad news right? God....his hands were trembling. He's sweating cold again.
"Does your family line had multiple birth history?" She asked again, now directing the question to Mingyu.
Mingyu, on the other hand was totally clueless to anything. He had to looked to his father for some help. The older man only shook his head.
"None?" She continued, reading at the notes. " So, how about Mr. Yoon's...?"
Mingyu could feel the beginning of a headache as he momentarily close his eyes. Massaging his temple, he took a moment before answering.
"Ah yeah...." He paused as he bit on his lower lip. What's this all about?
"Can you elaborate Mr. Kim? We really need to gather the patients personal informations for future references."
It was strict.
"Ah..I mean, yes. Jeonghan had a fraternal twin brother. His brother Joshua also had given birth to twin. Both are healthy boys. They mentioned it was from their mother's side of family." Mingyu finishes, breathing out as the physician wrote every details.
"Alright Mr. Kim. Thank you for your cooperation. You can wait here for a moment as a nurse will hand you the patient form."
Without further explanation, the doctor turned to walk but halted midway when both gentlemen just stood there, dumdfounded. She turned back and finally smiled at them.
"In other words Mr. Kim Mingyu, you are going to be a father. Mr. Yoon is currently on his 7th week, first trimester. He was still asleep that's why we were asking you questions instead of him directly."
"Holy Christ!!! I am going to be a Grandfather?!" Mr. Kim exclaimed so loud. He was utterly happy to hear so he hugged his son tight while Mingyu stayed still, eyes wide as if he was bewitched by the unknown.
"We only had run a blood test on Mr. Yoon and it was positive. The Doppler fetal monitor was registering two heartbeat. Now, to make sure that he was carrying multiple, we need to do another examination. After you finish the form, you may stay with the patient in the room so when he woke up, we'll start with the ultrasound." She added before walking away.
Mingyu was speechless. Very speechless. Is he having a dream right now or what? It's hard for him to digest everything. From issues with his father to Jeonghan being rushed to the hospital, things wasn't as slow-paced as a dream right?
Mingyu was probably shocked but the idea of him having a child, it never crossed his mind until now.
So Jeonghan was pregnant. He wasn't actually sick but was just carrying his child or possible children.
That was a total relief. Mingyu was so happy. He was, truthfully. No words, just tears.
Then, a sudden phone call cut their moment. Mr. Kim answered.
"Ah yes, this is Kim of KM party. What about the assembly?" The older man paused, his eyes widening when he slowly turned to Mingyu. He put his phone away.
"They say to watch the international news right now." His expression, a total disbelief.
They immediately both run to the hospital lobby. It was now full of people that also gathered in front of the television attached on the wall beside the reception area.
"Dad, look...." Mingyu muttered, pointing at the current news flashed on the television screen before them.
On the News:
Act of Terrorism?
- The venue for the International Parliamentary Assembly was attacked by a suspected group of terrorist earlier this morning. The entry lobby to the UIC hall was bombed. Large portion of the congress building was in total damage. Alleged bombers had used IED's according to the initial investigation. One of the international representatives who are in charge of the opening ceremony was killed, while 5 other representative, 11 staffs and 22 other civilians were injured. Victims were rushed to the City Hospital and as of 12:03pm, the local authority had ordered a lockdown of the main city for further investigation.-
Different reactions filled the hallway of the hospital from all the people there and Mingyu had goosebump as he turned and looked at his father. The older man pat his shoulder.
"Jeonghan,....he was born on the day of the angels right?" He asked Mingyu but with a stoic face and still looking at the television. Mingyu only hummed. "He is surely a heaven sent son."
..................................................
Somehow, the curtains matches Jeonghan's light-caramel colored hair. It's quite inside the room so Mingyu kept a slow and gentle approach. Jeonghan turned to him. He was sitting up on the bed, and when Mingyu sat beside, he looked away.
Staring out the window, Jeonghan was really silent.
Mingyu wasn't sure how to start a conversation right at the moment or how to properly explain himself. He just sat there with eyes fixated to the most beautiful existence in his life. His father was right. An angel has come to their lives and saved them.
"Hannie-ya...." He softly called out. The smell of the breeze seeping inside the room coming from the outside feels so light and fresh and Mingyu thought that it was good for Jeonghan.
"If you'll say goodbye now, I can't-" Jeonghan muttered half as his voice slightly strained but Mingyu knew he had to cut him off. He'll never forgive himself if ever Jeonghan would cry again because of him.
"I'm not going anywhere." Mingyu said. He reach for Jeonghan's hands and put them over his chest. He gazed at those warm, hazel-colored eyes and smiled. "I'll never go. I won't ever leave you and promise me you won't leave me too."
So Jeonghan finally lightened up and hugged Mingyu to his heart's content. All of his fears and worries are blown away as he could feel his husband's tight embrace. All felt like a bad dream and now he was with Mingyu. He chose to stay and that's all that matters.
"I'll do fishing and you'll do the house work. We'll raise our children together." Mingyu suggested all of a sudden. Jeonghan, who then raise an eyebrow looked him straight with mouth open in amusement. What?
Mingyu chuckled as he brought Jeonghan's hands up his lips and kissed those delicate knuckles. It was a sight worth living for as Mingyu gazes upon those beautifully illuminated face. And those angelic eyes, God....it was so ethereal.
"I mean....Do you want to start over again and live in a simple house by the beach?"