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Hoseok shouldn't worry about Jimin. It's only 11 pm. Jimin must have waited with Taehyung in the other room.
It's only 11 pm and Jimin is an adult too. He should be fine. Hoseok tries to convince himself as he looks at the empty bed in his hotel room. That bed is Jimin’s. As they shared a room back in their dorms, they decided to share a room in the hotel as well. It is a mutual decision, a rule that they have, set in stone.
It's past 11:30 and Hoseok worries that he may have said something to Jimin at the dinner table. No, he did say something and it wasn't the time or place to say it. Hoseok recalls his words. He was adding to the current topic that was going around the table; their accomodation in the hotel. It was a great hotel, with lots of privacy. Their company can afford to book a whole floor, just for the tour crew now. They enjoy a late meal, celebrate every night’s show then head to showers and sleep. The topic was if the sleeping conditions are alright. Namjoon brought it up.
"Not getting much sleep lately. Our Jiminie sleep-walks to my bed,"
"Hyung!," the sound of the metal chopsticks was loud against the china. All their crew members looking at their dinner table, not looking at anyone in particular. Jimin left the dinner table at that moment. Taehyung followed suit, his chopsticks making a mess on the table.
But that's all Hoseok said. He didn't mean any harm. He loves Jimin. He likes Jimin's little touches. He enjoys how Jimin calls him Hyung.
A little after 1 in the morning when Hoseok hears the door creak from behind. His head was turned away from the door but he knows it's Jimin. A band of yellow light at first, then a whole block of it, escapes into the room from the hallway. Hoseok tugs his eyes shut. The door closes with a little thud.
Jimin walks over to his own bed without making any sound. Something about that makes his heart ache. He wants to say something, but words refuse to reach the tip of his tongue.
"Yeah, he's asleep," Hoseok hears, "thanks tae. See you in the morning."
Taehyung called to check up on Jimin, two rooms away. That's not surprising to Hoseok. If Jimin is upset, Taehyung knows. Doesn't matter if they were apart. If Taehyung is sad, Jimin knows. Hoseok thinks that's some soulmate telepathy.
Jimin's body drowns under the comforter when he seemingly found a good sleeping position, his back to Hoseok of course. Jimin hasn't switched off the lamp beside his bed and Hoseok can make out the slow rise and fall of the comforter, which means, Jimin will fall asleep soon.
Okay. He will talk to Jimin first thing in the morning. Tell Jimin that he was not insulting Jimin. Tell Jimin that he's sorry about hurting the others feelings. Explain that he shouldn't have said anything. Tell Jimin that he liked Jimin’s presence by his—
No, that's too much. Apologise to Jimin. Start the day on a clean slate.
Hoseok was about to duck his head under the comforter and ignore the deafening silence in the room when he heard the rustling coming from Jimin's bed.
Oh, no. Jimin must know that he's wide awake.
Hoseok really slowly opens his eye, just enough to see beyond his lashes. Silhouette of Jimin's figure march towards him.
Oh, shit. Hoseok doesn't want to be found out. His heart wants to jump out of his mouth.
"Motherf-" Jimin's voice came close. Sound of footsteps by Hoseok's bed. Hoseok doesn't know what to expect. He surely wasn't moving earlier which could indicate that he has been awake all this time. He wants to sigh and draw a long breath. His restless chest could do with a lung full of breath right now.
He wants Jimin to yell at him. Throw away the comforter on him. Shake him up to his feet. Say something. Anything about the dinner. But Jimin doesn’t. He walks around the room for about five minutes, murmuring to himself. Hoseok didn’t hear any of that.
The footsteps stop, somewhere far from the bed he’s in and Hoseok can open his eyes now. He peeks, carefully, still afraid Jimin might catch him not asleep.
Jimin is getting into his bed, repeating the same positions until he finds a comfortable one and this time, he’s facing Hoseok.
So Jimin must already know that he is faking it. Well, he is not a quitter. Hoseok focuses his thoughts and tries to forget that a very-wide-awake Jimin is staring at him. If the room was bright enough, he is sure that Jimin can see the droplets over his brow, on his cheek and neck. They spend a while like that.
Sounds of Jimin snoring fills the room. It’s nothing new to Hoseok. Hoseok sleeps in the same room as the younger and he’s often stayed up late and slept after Jimin. He finds Jimin’s snoring endearing. Everything Jimin does is enduring. He knows how Jimin sleeps. Sometimes he moves a lot and occasionally Hoseok has woken up to Jimin talking in his sleep, usually a lyric to one of their songs, nothing major. Whenever Hoseok finds himself awake, he makes sure to cover Jimin with the comforter. Even when they are back in the dorm, or while on tour, resting in a hotel after their shows. He takes care of Jimin.
Still unsure, and with a hammering heart, Hoseok reaches for his phone. It’s almost 3 now. He should be asleep. But that doesn't feel right.
Maybe he shouldn’t have said Jimin sleep walks. He was trying to bring in a light conversation to the table. Jimin likes to hug something when he sleeps. Some hotels don’t have large pillows that Jimin likes. Those nights, Jimin lets himself in Hoseok's bed, getting under the covers and body flush against him. Hoseok is not a deep sleeper. But he is never annoyed how Jimin accidentally wakes him up in the process of cuddling him in those nights.
After a few minutes of contemplation, Hoseok got up from the bed and slid in the bunny slippers by his bedside. He walks over to Jimin’s bed, to the spacious side of it and tries to get in without making a sound. But when he sits on the mattress, the bed gives a creak. Jimin shuffled, turning towards him.
Shit.
“What the hell, bed.” he curses, quietly lowering himself, making as little muscle moments which require him to get under the comforter. Every second is like an eternity. Arms hung in the air and stopping halfway while pulling the cover on, or in an awkward position that makes him pose as if he and Jimin are about to kiss.
Putting all his faith in the relationship he shares with the younger, Hoseok lay on Jimin’s arm. If Jimin is not asleep, to an outsider it would look like they are about to kiss. Hoseok’s gaze goes straight to Jimin’s lips. He praises it on a daily basis. Hoseok knows Jimin knows how to use his lips. They have practiced a few kisses a couple of years back. It’s not a thing. They have all kissed each other. Usually on dares.
“I'm sorry about earlier,” Hoseok pushed aside his thoughts to talk, making sure only Jimin would hear, if he was awake. Hoseok is going to tell Jimin in the morning anyway. This is good practice. He moves his fingers to brush aside a lump of hair strands on Jimin’s forehead. God, he is so beautiful, it is clouding Hoseok’s train of thought. The thought of Jimin shedding tears because of his words brings in a new wave of sadness and guilt within him. He wants to kiss Jimin’s eyes, on his cheek, on the forehead, tip of his nose, on his—
“No, no, this is bad,” Hoseok suffles to move further and go to his own bed. Sleep his thoughts off, if he is able to sleep at all tonight. He’s seen Jimin’s face close. But tonight, the ocean of emotions swelling and breaking into nasty tides in his chest is too strong.
“Hyung, please stay,” Jimin’s voice and the arm on Hoseok’s shoulders halts him at once. Hoseok swallows, without even looking back.
“Hyung,” there’s the same ache in Jimin’s voice, the same one that Hoseok feels. Jimin moves in closer, and snakes his arms around Hoseok from behind.
“I am awake. Don’t leave, please.” Jimin lay his face on Hoseok’s back.
Hoseok still doesn’t turn around. He is startled. He didn’t mean to wake Jimin up.
“I am sorry, too.” Jimin talks, his voice small and soft, but his words reverberate inside Hoseok’s body.
“You have nothing to apologize for, Jimin.” Hoseok finds his voice, then gently caresses Jimin’s arm. Jimin is holding on to him, as if he doesnt wanna let Hoseok leave his side. Hoseok wants that and maybe he is a little selfish when it is about his feelings for Jimin.
“I created a scene. Left the table. Wasted my dinner.” Jimin lists.
“I am the cause for that scene. I should not have used those words,” Hoseok moved from Jimin’s grip around him, and turned towards Jimin. His skin glows, even in that dim bedroom light. Seeing Jimin like this, with sorry eyes that he didn’t need to have for Hoseok, Hoseok’s mind goes crazy.
“I am a very light sleeper, Jimin. Whenever you get in my bed, I wake up. But I am not afraid, thinking it’s a thief or anyone dangerous because I know only Jimin gets on my bed.” Hoseok explains. Jimin doesn’t say a word but fixes his gaze on Hoseok. His hand searching for Hoseok’s.
“I like when you cuddle me. I like how you always murmur ``I'm gonna cuddle you now please don’t wake up” before you wrap your arms around me.” Hoseok continues, hands intertwining fingers with Jimin’s. They are so close, so close that Hoseok feels like he hears the rhythm of Jimin’s heart.
“I- I really didn’t know I have been waking you up. You would let me sleep next to you back in our early debut days. So I thought,” Jimin sighs. “That it is still okay, that if I slip next to you and cuddle you and leave before you wake up, you won’t know that I was there.” He spills in one breath, responding to the little circles Hoseok has been drawing on the back of Jimin’s hand.
“Shh-,” Hoseok chimes in, “let’s take a breather first, hmm? I’m here to listen to whatever you need to say. I’m not going anywhere, okay?” his tone is assuring.
“Mmhmm,” Jimin nods.
He guides Jimin to lie down, fluffing the pillow with one hand before Jimin rests his head. Jimin smiles, “I’m going to tell everyone that you sleep walk and I am the one who couldn’t sleep tonight.” Jimin pouts his lips.
That is fucking adorble.
“Please don’t. Teahyung will murder me if his precous soulmate didn’t sleep well,” Hoseok says in response.
“Aren’t you gonna lie down, hyung?” Jimin looks at Hoseok’s posture. Yeah, his left elbow hurts now. But he was not sure Jimin would want him to lay next to him. Maybe he would just send Hoseok to his own bed.
“I am waiting to see if you ask me to cuddle you.” He rests his head on Jimin’s sprawled arm. They were insanely close again, their feet, knees and arms touching. Hoseok could get used to this if—
He shakes his head, resulting in an inquisitive look from Jimin.
“Talk to me, hyung.” There’s that ache in his voice. How can he possibly not feel when Jimin talks to him like that. “I am here to listen too, anything you want to talk about.”
There are a lot of things that Hoseok can talk about with Jimin. Their work, individual hobbies, their dances, how insanely beautiful Jimin looks when he’s immersed in dance. How Hoseok’s world comes to a somersault whenever he looks at Jimin, when Jimin smiles at him, when Jimin merely does anything, really.
The sole fact that Jimin exists stuns Hoseok. How did he ever get so lucky to find a friend like that?
“I think you know what I want to say,” It’s a vague start but he’s going to say it and nothing’s going to stop him. Jimin’s breaths are slow and long, and so are Hosoeks. Their breaths steady and mingling with one another. Hoseok could really get used to this. Even the lazy hand under his head making circles on his back. Jimin really knows how to drive him mad like that.
“Honestly, I think I feel the same?” Jimin looks at Hoseok, as if he’s looking for the right answer.
There is no right answer. It is what it is. Just Hoseok and Jimin— and their untold feelings.
Hoseok doesn’t know who moved first. Their lips meet— and the feeling of Jimin’s lips slowly against his feels anything beyond his mind had the ability to imagine. Jimin pulls Hoseok closer, soft little sounds escaping their mouths. Hoseok hovers his body carefully, trying not to hurt Jimin. Seeing Jimin like this aches in his chest too. God, he is so in love with him.
“I’m fine, hyung. Please just, kiss me.” Jimin notices Hoseok’s awkwardness at that moment. His hands hooked on Hoseok’s neck and pulled Hoseok closer, and closer.
When Jimin starts to kiss sloppily, with open mouth, tongue hungry for more taste of Hoseok, Hoseok feels his soul ascend and every inch of sanity tears away with how Jimin’s tongue moves. Hoseok still needs to talk to Jimin about things. About Hosoek being in love with Jimin, too.
They kissed till their lungs screamed for air in short breath gasps. Jimin lay on top of Hoseok, head on his chest, leg over his. Hoseok’s long fingers distractedly combs through Jimin’s hair.
“You are the most beautiful person I know, Jimin. Inside and out,” A smile plays on Hoseok's lips. It feels good to finally say it. Maybe that amounts to some portion of “I am in love with you” phrase that Hoseok has been feeling the last couple of years.
Jimin smiles, cheeks flush against Hoseok’s chest. There it is. The ache again. Hoseok feels too much.
“Jimin. I am in love with you.”
Silence.
Silence.
Silence.
A smile, again. “I know. So have I been in love with you, hyung.”
Jimin repositions himself. Hoseok isn’t too sure if what he heard was right, or Jimin just said that.
“Why are you looking at me like you aren’t sure about this?” His velvety voice fills the silence, again. Hoseok only had thought when you stare at each other for an awkward stretch of time only happens in films. Here, Jimin is looking at him, eyes sure and confident, waiting for Hoseok to speak.
Yes, this is awkward for Hoseok. By ‘this’ does it mean just kissing or—
“Hyung, You and I,” Jimin says as he straddles Hoseok’s waist.
Was Hosoek thinking out loud? Hoseok’s arms goes to hold Jimin’s waist, his thumbs grazing the expanse of skin there.
“Go on,” Hoseok motions with a nod.
Jimin bends forward to kiss Hoseok’s lips, “us,” and then his neck, “like boyfriends?”
Oh, the ache again, but it feels different this time. It feels sweet and something that you can never get enough of. Is this what loving Jimin has always felt like?
“Yeah. You and I, boyfriends.” Hoseok smiles. Their noses touch.
Hoseok doesn't know when was the last time that he felt this way, this happy. If he is honest with himself, he feels like somebody injected his chest with adrenaline. Doses of it.
“I love you, hyung. So much.”
“And I love-”
Beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep
Hoseok's words were stopped by the sound of an alarm vibration he set on his phone. That’s his 4 a.m alarm. The time Jimin always slips into his bed.
“Let it beep,” Jimin says. A couple of minutes later, it stops vibrating.
Hoseok and Jimin fall asleep like that, smiles on their faces and love in their hearts. 4 a.m becomes Hoseok and Jimin’s personal world.