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They were cuddling in Maya's bed. Maya would never admit it, but she loved being the little spoon, she loved the feeling of Carina pressed against her back, and she loved Carina's legs tangled with hers and she hated she couldn't do this every night.
Most of the time when neither of them didn't have work Carina spent the night at Maya's anyways, so why was Maya so nervous to ask.
"Car c-""shhh sleep," Carina cut her off pressing a quick kiss to her shoulder.
"Can we talk please?" Maya ignored the Italian. She felt Carina quickly lift her head and moved her arms, "Is everything okay?"
Maya flipped over to look the girl in her eyes.
"Yeah, I just noticed that uh you've been spending a lot of time here and uh," Maya quickly broke eye contact, and Carina's quickly expression changed from worry to hurt to a fake smile that didn't reach her eyes, "Oh."
"I'm sorry, I didn't even realize it, I apologize if I'm crowding you, I'll sleep at my place tomorrow."
"No! Carina that's not what I meant I-"
"It's fine, bella, let's go to sleep. I know it might come naturally to you, but I need all 8 hours of sleep to look this good," Carina said with the same fake smile.
Well shit. That didn't go as planned.
When Maya woke up that day Carina was already gone. She didn't hear from Carina the next day. She texted Carina a few times, but never got a response. That night she went to Carina's apartment to apologize, and say what she had meant to say before.
When she got there, she debated whether or not to use her key or knock on the door. She decided to knock, she felt bad just walking in. She heard Carina's quiet foot steps before the door opened
"Is everything okay?" Carina asked calmly. Maya took a moment to observe the girl, her hair was in a high bun with a few wavy strands that had fallen out framing her face, she was wearing a lose tank top and shorts, her earbuds were taken out of her ears and resting in her hands, she was sweating, and she looked incredibly hot. "Uhm, can I come in?" Maya asked not wanting to have the conversation out in the hall. Carina's eyes got sad and she nodded, so this was it, this was how their relationship was gonna end.
Maya noticed how clean the apartment looked, it had always looked nice and clean, but it looked like it had been deep cleaned this time. "What were you doing?" Maya asked, still looking around. "I haven't really been cleaning a lot since I've been at your place and the hospital mainly, so i was cleaning and reorganzing," Carina explained. "And that's why you're sweatin-" "Are you gonna break up with me?" Carina cut Maya off. Maya opened her mouth to respond, but she was too shocked to say anything. "Because if you are I'd rather you just do it instead of make talk small first," Carina said semi aggressively.
Maya started laughing. She couldn't stop it's just. She messed up asking Carina to move in, and then she messed up apologizing. She was really doing great. Maya saw Carina's confused face and took a breath. "First of all, it's small talk, you make small talk," Maya started, still laughing a little. "And second, no, no God no, I'm not here to break up with you."
"Oh."
"Yeah"
"I thought you wanted space?"
Maya was about to explain it when she realized something.
"You thought I wanted to break up with you?"
"You wanted space-"
"No, I was gonna ask you to move in with me and you took it the wrong way, you assumed I wanted space," Maya cut Carina off.
Carina turned pink, but didn't say anything. Maya had probably already guessed it, so what was the point.
"You're insecure about us?" Maya guessed, Carina looked at the clean floors and avoided eye contact. Maybe she was. Maybe she was scared about the fact that even though Maya was supposedly in love with Carina now Maya might one day go back to her thoughts that they were just a hookup.
"Carina," Maya sighed softly before grabbing Carina's chin and lifting it up so they could make eye contact. "Carina, I love you," Maya said looking into Carina's eyes, Maya had never felt so sure about anything. "I know, but you also thought we were just a hookup," Carina started and Maya opened her mouth to cut the doctor off, but she closed it again. "I know you don't anymore, but what if you do again one day? I love you so much, Maya, but I don't know how real this is to you," Carina admitted.
Part of Maya was hurt, but the other part felt bad Carina thought she could fall out of love with her.
"Carina, I could never not love you," Maya said quietly before she kissed the Italian. She pulled away with a smile, "Soooo why are you sweaty?" Carina explained the fact she had worked out and told Maya about her day.
Later that night, they were lying in Carina's bed, right now, Maya was lying flat on her back as Carina was wrapped around her like a koala. "I'm sorry," Carina said softly as she kissed Maya's next. It wasn't sexual, it was just soft and an 'I love you' kiss. "If you still want me to, I would love to move in with you," Carina said quietly. She was still embarrassed that she even thought Maya could stop loving her, and even though she still wasn't 100% positive, she wanted to be with Maya and she wanted to try.
"Of course I want you to," Maya replied and kissed Carina's head. They talked for a little while before falling asleep, and Maya made Carina promise that if she had doubts they would talk about them. They ended the night falling asleep in each other's arms.