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Tim used to tell me that family is who you find. Jason had told me that family is the people you can annoy for years but still won’t let you go. Dick had told me that family is who you never want to let down. Damian had told me that family is who you fight with blood, sweat, and tears for. Barbara had told me that family is the people you want to memorize everything about no matter how boring. Stephanie had told me that family is the “dumbasses you listen to for hours”. Alfred just gave me a bit of a smile and nodded towards the chaos.
The chaotic mess of siblings and friends adorned around our living room. Jason and Artemis placing bets on Dick, Conner Kent, Bart Allen, and Stephanie playing Mario Kart. Barbara was reading a book and shaking her head at them, mumbling answers about who is scientifically most likely to win. Damian was sitting with Titus, scratching behind his ear and ignoring them all. Jon Kent was laughing at Conner’s frustrated face when Bart knocked him off the course and sitting beside Damian.
Roy Harper was sitting on a chair, munching on snacks that Dick swears are actually Jason’s while watching the racing showdown of the century. Wally West sped into the house, snagging a few mini sandwiches off one of Alfred’s trays, earning him a disappointed look from Alfred. He gave a sheepish shrug in return and munched, turning to ask Jay and Artemis what they were all doing. I turned to Alfred and started to sign “What is…family supposed to be like? I’m not sure, anymore.” He gave me a kind smile before gesturing to the path leading to the doors. “Take a walk with me Miss Cain?” I nodded slowly, following as he walked out the wooden doors.
I walked along the stone path with Alfred slowly, feeling the wind across my skin, the trees and plants around us flowing in the breeze. We walked quietly for a bit before I stopped. I looked over to the right, my eyes stopping over a set of four graves. Remembering each name that had covered each headstones. “Thomas Wayne” “Martha Wayne” “Jason Todd” and the freshest gravestone reading the name “Timothy Drake” I could see it in front of me. I could see the funeral. It was only a few months ago after all.
I watched the illusion of our friends appear, Bart was weeping, Cassie sobbing her eyes out, Conner…well Conner barely managed to be there. And he looked destroyed. I remember seeing the red in his eyes refusing to leave, his arms broken and covered in bandages, hair messy and full of knots. I remember our siblings standing quietly, knowing he deserved it. He deserved to be at peace, just, not like this. I watched the tears run and the people slowly disappear before seeing myself. Sitting there for days, waiting, waiting for someone who couldn’t come.
I felt myself snap back as I felt someone lay a hand on my shoulder, my head snapped behind me as I prepared to fight. I felt myself stop as I saw Tim flash me a smile, before it quickly faded, and I saw Alfred. “Miss Cain? Miss Cain? Can you hear me?” He asked me, I felt my hand shake a bit before nodding and signing “I’m okay. Don’t worry, now, what did you say?” He gave me a concerned looking, ushering me along to the gardens. He gestured to the bench, the gardens full of fountains and beautiful plant life.
“Miss Cain…Cassandra. You told me you could no longer remember what family was like?” I nodded a bit at his words. He gave me a look, I’m not sure what kind honestly, I’d never seen him that way. “Family is a kind of bond, the people or places or memories that you have. The ones that make you feel lighter, like you can fight your battles easier. Family is who you feel safe with Miss Cassandra. Family is, lights that flicker in the dark, for they may not always be able to light it all up but they ignite a spark of hope.”
He pulled my hand forward carefully, laying something cold and dense in my palm before closing my hand. “Miss Cain when your brother was taken in” He began, not specifying, but I knew he was talking about Tim. He continued softly “He didn’t know what to believe. He knew his family was gone and that’s all he could think about. Master Grayson attempted to pull him out of that place but, he knew he wanted to be the next robin and that was the only thing he was sure of at the time.” Alfred spoke with a subtle distaste in the word robin, his body movements showing the slightest anger.
“He was brilliant, but he was lonely. Of course I did my best to ensure Master Timothy was never alone, but he felt as though he was. And that was something even I could not fix.” I cracked a small smile at the joke before he carried on. “After a bit of time, he slowly understood that family was more than it seemed. He met Master Todd, Miss Gordon, Miss Brown, and Master Damian. He came out of his shell, he found his family, he seemed cheerful. But he met you, Miss Cain. And then he was truly happy, he knew what family was the moment he brought you home.” He nodded to my hand, I uncurled my fingers slowly.
I looked down to see a large piece of white ceramic, the edges smoothed out no longer sharp, the letters “orld’s eatest rother” across it. I remembered buying that mug for Tim, I remembered him dropping it two months later and apologizing non-stop. I looked up at Alfred, refusing to cry, but instead giving him a small smile. He spoke to me in a simple loving tone “Miss Cassandra… Cass.” He tested my nickname, I could tell he didn’t like it much but I appreciated the effort. “Cass. Family is who you love. Family is who you care for. Family is… it’s a different feeling. Family is the people you find along the way that you would do anything to stay alive for.” He gave me a smile and tapped the piece of the mug in my hand, before standing up. “Come inside when you’re ready Miss Cain, we won’t start dinner until you’re ready.”
After he walked back inside I let out a small breath and stared towards the graves. I felt my hands shake as I slowly signed to well maybe no one but me. “I’m not ready to let you go, not nearly. But I think it’s time I take your advice and believe in my family.” I turned to the Manor, seeing lights and people running through the windows, hearing loud yelling and joking. I looked in to see all our friends and my siblings, Kate had arrived, Roy was holding Lian, most of the justice league had arrived too. Once a month we all got together for dinner at the Manor now. I felt myself take a deep breath and stood up hesitantly, walking back inside to the chaotic yells of my friends.
Everyone was sat at the tables we had pushed together, various people with super strength bringing more tables and stacks of chairs, anyone with good balance having to bring hundreds of dishes Alfred had made. There were loud bangs, yells, and jokes throughout dinner. Occasional things being thrown, food being stolen by the speedsters, Jason, Roy, and Artemis making challenges over drinks. I smiled to myself, looking at those around me, laughing happily. I opened my mouth and quietly spoke “Family.” It was the only thing I’d said aloud in months. No one heard me, my voiced drowned in the chaos, but I looked up to see Tim across the table, giving me that grin and thumbs up like he did on day one.