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The ceiling of the great hall at Hogwarts was the most enchanting thing Remus had ever seen. A inky sky of deep blues and glitter blacks, with scatterings on glowing stars. Mist swirled in patterns that had him mesmerised.
The candles that floated above the tables were just as captivating.
They filled the hall with a warmth and a fullness that Remus wasn’t used to. The thick smell of freshly cooked food rose from the tables, and laughter and smiles filled every corner. Life and energy was passed around from person to person.
It almost had Remus in tears.
Almost. He was stronger than that.
The two boys next to him looked so complete and content in their new robes of red and gold. They’d only met ten minutes ago, but they were already laughing about anything and everything, the grey eyes one messing up the hair of the short one.
Was it that easy for everyone to make friends? Was everyone that comfortable with physical contact?
It didn’t really matter. No matter what happened, Remus could never have that.
He was a monster. A freak. A danger to anyone that crossed him.
His only hope was to be ignored. If no one paid him any attention, maybe he would be able to get through his years at Hogwarts without any horrifying consequences.
But as he watched the two boys remove their ties and wrap them around their heads, his heart ached in the strangest way.
Logically, he knew he couldn’t have friends. They would be a danger to him, and he would be a danger to them.
And what was so great about them, anyway? What could people give that a good book and cup of tea couldn’t? There were so many expectations, and weird social cues, and drama. Letting people into his life would only bring pain and uncertainty.
So why did he want to so badly?