Chapter Text
Remus was sixteen when Dora called, panicked and terrified, telling him that she was pregnant. And then they were both panicking and terrified.
Remus was seventeen when he first saw his son, and then he stopped panicking. He was eighteen when Andromeda called and told him that Dora died. And then he started panicking again because he was eighteen and he had a son, suddenly all on his own because the girl he thought he would marry had died.
At twenty, life is easier for Remus. He has a flat, an almost stable job and Teddy, and he's not panicking that much anymore. It's still hard, of course, because he's twenty years old and has a three year old son with so much energy that Remus wonders if he accidentally drips coffee into Teddy's breakfast in the mornings when Remus is tired and half-delirious. His mum says it's normal; that Remus was just as energetic as a toddler, and with Dora for a mum it's not crazy that Teddy is the way he is, and Remus doesn't want to change that.
Even though it hurts to see so much of her in Teddy, Remus sees himself too in this small individual that he fights to keep alive and he wouldn't change him. If anything, Teddy's energy shows that Remus is doing a good job.
Or maybe that's just what Remus tells himself right before Teddy wanders off by his own in the supermarket as soon as Remus turns around to grab a few apples.
"Okay bud, do you want the red, or the green?" Remus asks. He turns, looking for Teddy where he stood not only ten seconds ago on Remus' right. And he's gone.
Remus stops breathing, and then his hands start to shake, just a little bit, and he starts breathing too fast, too much because Teddy's gone.
Logically, Remus knows that Teddy isn't gone, that he'll find him on his way out and if his feet would work, Remus could go look for him immediately. But his brain is replaying the phone call from Andromeda (Remus, I'm so sorry) and he feels fucking numb (we found her this m—) and his feet won't move from where he stands, in front of crates of red and green apples. He knows, he fucking knows that he's just in a supermarket and nothing will happen to Teddy. Teddy's loud, stubborn and energetic and if something would happen Remus would hear it, know it before it happened; like that time where Teddy almost fell off the sofa but Remus caught him because he knew, even though he wasn't looking.
But nothing was supposed to happen to Dora either, but it did. Remus finally moves.
He's not sprinting, because even amidst his panic that feels like a fist clenched around his lungs and heart he knows it's better to at least appear calm when he does find Teddy. ( Remus, I'm so sorry. ) So Remus takes long strides, leaving his empty trolley behind him, trying to even his breathing. Nothing is going to happen. It's fine.
Sirius doesn't know how the fuck he , of all people, became the one person whom Lily has decided is the best to send to the shops for her pregnancy cravings. Not James, not Dorcas or Marlene, but Sirius.
He also doesn't know how pickles, orange marmalade, cheese and onion crisps, and chocolate is a combo that sounds appealing to Lily, but he reckons— hopes —that she'll eat it individually—save for the marmalade; he hopes she slathers that on toast. And yet, here he stands, with several jars of pickles and orange marmalade in a basket, eyeing the rack of crisps per Lily's orders.
Sirius is just about to grab three bags of cheese and onion crisps—if Lily wants crisps, she'll get them all, Sirius isn't about to run to the shops one more time—when his phone buzzes in his pocket.
Tulip Evans: Get ice cream too xx
Sirius sighs as he puts the crisps in the basket, then clicks his response:
Sirius: what kind
Tulip Evans: Pistachio pls
Sirius: what even is this combo of foods
Tulip Evans: Periwinkle I cannot express just how much I need pistachio ice cream rn don't even question it
Sirius chuckles to himself and replies with a quick, got it, before he stuffs his phone back into his pocket and makes his way over to the freezer aisle.
He doesn't get far, though, before there's a tug on the hem of Sirius' jacket. Sirius rolls his eyes and turns around to see whose kid has wandered off to bother him, and does indeed, see a kid. Except his eyes are teary and he's sniffling and suddenly Sirius isn't bothered by the fact that a kid just tugged at his jacket.
Sirius frowns, and the kid gives a snotty sniffle. "I can find my da," he says, tugging at Sirius' jacket again.
Sirius just stares, frowning still. The kid tugs at Sirius' jacket again, the tears in his eyes overflowing. "My da."
Sirius doesn't know what the fuck to say, so he crouches down and looks at the kid, and says, "You can't find your dad?" even though the kid just said it twice.
"No."
Sirius bites his lip. This Tesco is quite big, and he hasn't really got the time to wander the aisles, looking for a kid's dad, but he can't just leave him, so Sirius nods slowly anyway. "What's your name, bud?"
"Teddy."
Sirius nods again, swiping his thumb over Teddy's cheek to wipe off the streak of tears—is it super strange that he, a stranger, is wiping a kid's tears in a Tesco? Should he really be doing this?—then says, "I'm Sirius. I'll help you find your dad, alright?"
Teddy nods, and Sirius stands upright again, holding his hand out for Teddy to grab. As a chubby hand grasps his, Sirius thinks, yet again, that he really doesn't have the time for this. James is working and Lily is craving her weird fucking smorgasbord of snacks and might be able to commit murder if he takes too long, but the kid.
Sirius can't just fucking leave a child in a large Tesco when he's lost his dad. So they begin walking.
"Alright Teddy," Sirius says. "Where did you see your dad last?"
Teddy sniffles again, and points to the right. "He was getting apples."
"Okay. We'll go towards the apples then, and if we don't find him immediately, you can help me pick out some ice cream for my friend, yeah?"
Teddy nods seriously, suddenly not sniffly at all as he takes determined steps with an iron grip around Sirius' hand. Walking in the wrong direction. Sirius chuckles and gives Teddy's hand a gentle tug.
"Wrong way, kid," Sirius says. Teddy doesn't say anything in reply, just walks in the direction Sirius does with slightly unsure and wobbly steps.
Sirius wonders how old the kid is, if he's not great at walking yet or if he's been walking too much and is tired. But he doesn't ask if Teddy wants to be carried, if he's okay or needs help—is he an arsehole? Is this entirely appropriate?—and just keeps walking instead.
They keep on wandering the aisles. Teddy doesn't speak and neither does Sirius, but he thinks. Thinks about Lily and her strange cravings, about how he'd been panicking as much as James about the thought of having a niece or nephew running around and how this isn't how he expected his day to turn out at all. As he walks with Teddy, however, he thinks he might be able to handle Lily and James' kid when it finally sees the world. He won't have to raise it, anyway, so just walking around will be fine.
Suddenly, Teddy yells, "Da!" and lets go of Sirius' hand and runs, and— Oh.
That wasn't how Sirius was expecting Teddy's dad to look like at all. He was expecting some tired, middle aged man who couldn't be bothered with looking after his son. But the man who Teddy runs towards is young; probably younger than Sirius by a year—maybe two—with freckles and tawny hair and a broad grin on his face. He's lanky, too, and probably rather tall when he stands upright and isn't crouched down with his arms outstretched for Teddy to leap onto him.
The way he hugs Teddy, too, when his kid flings his arms around his father's neck with a delighted squeal, says that he most definitely didn't lose Teddy because he wanted to. Sirius almost feels a little envious, because he never had that with his dad.
Remus feels nothing but relief when he hugs Teddy. He knew nothing was wrong, he knew nothing would happen ( Remus, I'm so sorry) , and still he feels like he takes his first proper breath in fifteen minutes when Teddy wraps his arms around Remus' neck.
"God, Ted," he murmurs. "You scared the fucking shit out of me."
"Bad word," Teddy says with a frown, detangling himself from Remus' grip to poke his lips. Remus laughs with a nod.
"Yes, bad word. Don't say that." Remus lifts Teddy up as he stands, settling his son against his hip. "I should put bells on your shoes, so I hear when you're about to walk off. Or put you on a lead."
Teddy laughs and shakes his head, and Remus feels like his whole chest is going to burst. He never truly knew if he was ready for a kid at seventeen, if he would be able to handle it, but with Teddy in his arms, giggling and alive, Remus doesn't wonder anymore.
"I was looking for you for so long," Remus mutters, even though it was only fifteen minutes that he wandered the aisles. "Were you here the whole time?"
Teddy points to the end of the aisle, where a tall, black haired man stands. "The nice man helped."
That is decidedly not the answer Remus was looking for. Remus holds in a groan, and smiles instead. Teddy's here, Teddy is fine, and where he was doesn't matter, so Remus looks in the direction Teddy is pointing.
Nice man, indeed, Remus thinks a bit shamefully, looking at the man from head to toe. He's a few inches taller than Remus, with black hair falling down to his collarbones, dressed in black, ripped jeans and a cracked leather jacket. Remus swallows. He hasn't got the time to be attracted to random people in supermarkets, and he knows he'll feel guilty, feel like he's forgetting about Dora when he knows he won't. But he can look .
Remus swallows and takes a step forward, stretching out his free hand. "Remus," he says.
"Sirius," the man replies with a small quirk to his lips. "Nice kid you've got there."
Remus opens his mouth to reply, but then Teddy says, "Hedgehog," and pokes Remus' stubbly cheek. Remus ducks his head away with a small smile.
"Thank you so much for not letting him wander off any further," he says. "I rea—"
"Hedgehog," Teddy says again, with a more persistent poke to the stubble on Remus' jaw, this time. Remus winces.
"Yes, I'm a hedgehog, and you're my little hedgehog kid," he says. The black haired man— Sirius —chuckles tentatively.
"I found him by the crisps," Sirius says. "Or, like, he found me."
Of course Teddy was by the crisps, the menace. Remus smiles.
"Thank you, either way. I was worried sick."
"Sirius said we was gonna get ice cream," Teddy says, sounding far too pleased as he pats on Remus' head.
Remus' urge to shout what the fucking fuck?! turns into a splutter and a glare. Sirius puts his hands up, basket dangling in the crook of his elbow, wide eyed but still smiling. He's fucking smiling. Remus holds Teddy tighter to his chest.
"No, no," Sirius says quickly. "No. I told him we could pick out ice cream for my very pregnant pal if we couldn't find you. I wasn't, like, taking him away, I would never."
Remus nods slowly. "Good."
"I want ice cream," Teddy says, bottom lip suddenly wobbling. Christ. Remus inhales deeply through his nose, clenches his jaw and tries not to glare at Sirius, but does anyway.
Sirius winces. "Sorry."
"Da!"
"What?" Remus murmurs, instead of snapping. He's learnt to do that, recently; keep his voice level when he's frustrated and stressed to avoid scaring Teddy. Or himself, for that matter.
"Ice cream!"
Remus rubs his forehead with his free hand. "Not today, bud. Some other day, alright?"
Teddy gives a mighty sniffle, and his lip wobbles even more. Sirius takes a quick step forward, and Remus has half a mind to push him back because this is his business, thank you very much. He doesn't need a stranger's help.
"Hey," Sirius says. "What if I give my number to your dad, and we can go get ice cream together some other time? What do you say?" He looks at Remus when he asks that last question, apologetic look on his face.
Remus nods slowly, and looks at Teddy. "Yeah, we can do that. We can go to that nice café with the books."
Teddy's lip stops wobbling immediately. "Okay."
"Okay?" Remus says with a smile. Teddy nods. "Good. Maybe next weekend, because we're going to grandma and grandpa this Saturday, remember?"
"Yeah!" Teddy grins, patting Remus on his cheek again. Remus smiles, and tries his best to get his phone out of his pocket to give to Sirius.
"Put your number in, then," Remus says with a smile. "And I'll text you next week?"
"Perfect," Sirius says. He grabs Remus' phone and types his number in as quick as he can before handing it back to Remus. "I need to get back to my very pregnant friend before I receive a very angry phone call, but I'll see you around."
And with that, Sirius waves, and turns around. Teddy waves enthusiastically after his retreating back, and Remus lets out a relieved chuckle.
They remain standing for a while, Remus just catching his breath, holding Teddy close to just make sure that he really is there. Teddy seems tired, and has his head resting against Remus' shoulder for a few moments before he sits back up.
"I want red apples," he declares, stubborn as ever.
"Red? Well, off we go then!"