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English
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Published:
2020-04-27
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4,182
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1/1
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In The Restaurant

Summary:

The heroes always seem to inhabit the new restaurant. Rest assured crazy things always seem to happen there.

Notes:

(See the end of the work for notes.)

Work Text:

Saitama entered the restaurant and took in the cold air that basted from the AC. Genos, his disciple, and a cyborg followed him inside. He checked the paper on his phone and confirmed that this was indeed the place of rendezvous. As expected, King was busy tapping the buttons of his console. Genos and Saitama took a seat in front of him.

Soon, Saitama and King were comfortably settled in and were having a heated conversation about the new game that they were going to play soon.

Genos observed that the restaurant was completely empty except for one table to his right. The woman on the table had jet black hair and an expression that would scare anyone that dared to approach her.

Something bothered Genos immensely when he first laid eyes on the woman. Suddenly another woman that Genos recognized waltzed in and joined their table.

"What are you doing here, Blizzard of hell Fubuki?" The annoyance in Genos' voice was obvious but it wouldn't affect the straight-minded determination of the woman beside him.

"Demon Cyborg, Genos I am only here to interest you and your master in this fantastic offer we have and nothing more. Hey, Saitama! Listen to me!" Usually, Genos would have started a fight with Fubuki but today the mysterious lady had caught his interest too much. She seemed vaguely similar. Similar to an inane ninja he knew.

Maybe he was losing his mind or maybe the ninja could actually sink low enough to prance around in a woman's dress. He made no movement what so ever and kept his eyes focused on the lady until a familiar hand tapped his back.

"Sensei is something wrong?" He asked and Saitama shook his head.

"If you are so interested in that girl so much why don't you go talk to her? Just starting at her won't magically levitate her to your side." Saitama took a large sip of his drink while tapping the buttons of the game console he had in his hands.

"Sensei, that is some great advice that you have given me. I will follow it without fail!" Genos began scribbling in his notebook and Fubuki immediately grabbed it.

"Saitama isn't much of a smart man but I have to say that the advice he gave today was pretty good. Why don't you follow it instead of writing it?" Fubuki played with his notebook and turned the pages with her delicate fingers.

"There is so much garbage written in this notebook. For an S-class hero, you sure do have a lot of time to waste..."

"Why are you here anyway? King and I are just going to play games. You should leave." Saitama answered, nonchalantly.

"You can play games later. We, in the Fubuki group, have a new spot available for you since one of our members recently quit." Fubuki made frail attempts to catch Saitama's attention while Genos thought about Saitama's words.

"Sensei is right. Instead of waiting for the enemy to take action, you should stop them before they attack." Genos left Saitama's table and approached the suspect's table carefully as to not arouse any suspicion.

King placed his console down as he beat Saitama in another fight and stretched his fingers.

"Damn it! This game is a scam. I have the best fighters! How the heck did I lose?!" Saitama whined and smashed his controller down. King silently prayed for the poor console.

"We should discuss what just happened don't you think?" King said, his eyes fixated on Genos

"Thank you, King. It's nice that you are acknowledging the Fubuki group's excellent offers."

"No, I mean that." King pointed at Genos.

"Now that you mention it I think this is the first time Genos has shown any interest in another girl," Saitama said as he picked up another fry.

"I did think it was weird that Genos was showing interest in a girl. But at the end of the day, Genos is still a healthy teenager." Fubuki also munched on a fry while closely watching Genos.

Genos, on the other hand, seemed to be debating on whether he should directly approach the "girl" to confirm his doubts or wait until the "girl" slips up and leaves an opening since she seemed to be on high alert. Genos contemplated the plan of action but the girl turned to him and stared at him with wide eyes before he could come to a suitable conclusion.

Genos took the empty seat in front of her and the two of them locked eyes.

"You." The girl spat.

Genos could recognize that prideful voice anywhere. "I should have known. Speed-o'-sound Sonic what are you doing here?" Genos glared and Sonic clicked his tongue.

"What are the odds that I run into the tin man?" Sonic flipped his hair and grabbed a tissue. He pushed the tissue to his face covering himself and turned to Genos with the most nightmare-inducing grin.

"Listen here, you brat I am on a job and it would be really good if you left the table and ran to your teacher. Now scram, before I cut you up into tiny pieces" Sonic, put the tissue back and placed his hand on the table while smiling as if he was the most innocent being there was.

Genos leaned back on the bench. "Do you honestly think I am going to let a criminal like you do his 'job'? I am not allowing you to murder innocent people." Genos placed his hand on the table and the two continued with their glaring contest.


"Well, well I didn't think the kid had it in him. He just went straight down and captured the girl's attention. You should pick up a few pointers from him, Saitama." Fubuki laughed.

"I still can't believe that Genos is interested in a girl," Saitama responded. It seemed that the unusual event had caught the rapt attention of the bald hero who usually never bothered to take interest in anything.

"It feels weird," King said as he switched his controller off. The three seemed to be hypnotized by Genos and the so-called girl and they kept their eyes locked on Genos' table. Fubuki munched on another fry.


"What will it take for you to leave?" Sonic asked.

"You turn yourself in then I will leave."

"Something else."

"Fine then. Stop harassing Sensei."

Sonic groaned. "You and I know both know that neither of those things will happen. Ask something reasonable will you?"

"Those were reasonable requests." Genos pointed out.

As Sonic was about to respond a waiter came to their table and flashed her beautiful smile.

"Hello, valuable customers what would you like to order today?" She asked and turned from Sonic to Genos.

"Noth-

"Two steak please." Sonic interrupted.

As soon as the waiter left Genos turned to Sonic and sighed. "Are you trying to bribe me with food now?" Genos asked.

"It's weird to go to a restaurant and not order anything, you weirdo. Are you trying to attract attention?"

"I am sorry that I do not know the ways of crossdressing in a restaurant. I am not an assassin you see." Genos retorted earning a sigh from Sonic.

"Haha. My God, my insides hurt. That was the funniest joke I have ever heard."


"Oh my! Genos made her laugh. It's always a good sign when a girl laughs at your joke." Fubuki clasped both of her hands in her dreamlike state.

"It seemed like a sarcastic laugh to me." Saitama pointed out. Their table was filled with three burgers which they had ordered again when they realized that they were going to be stuck here longer than they initially thought.

"I have to agree with Saitama over here," King said as he took a big bite of his burger.

"Oh, what do you know about a woman's feelings, King? You have spent your entire life beating up monsters and training that you never had time for a woman. I know best." Fubuki flipped her shoulder-length hair and grabbed her burger. Saitama munched on his second order of fries.


At this point, both Genos and Sonic had stopped any form of conversation and instead resorted to glaring at each other while silently taking a small bite of their steak.

"You better pay for that," Sonic said as he took a tiny best of the steak and realized how juicy it was.

"That is quite well made," Genos said as Sonic gave a quiet nod of approval.

"It's extremely juicy." Sonic agreed.

As they took another bite they heard the door open and both of them turned to see the new arrival.

"Zen-

"Chiro." Genos finished catching Sonic by surprise. Sonic kept his eyes on the man while also keeping tabs on Genos in front of him.

"Why do you know about him?" Sonic questioned. The ninja breathed a quiet sigh of relief when the target pulled out his phone. Sonic concluded that he would be occupied for a good while and turned his attention back to Genos.

"He is an A-class criminal. Most of the heroes know about him. Why is a villain like you targeting him?" Genos observed that Zenchiro took a seat behind Saitama's table.

"My requestee paid me a large sum of money to bring him back alive. Villain or hero doesn't matter to me." Sonic kept his eyes on Zenchiro who was staring intently at the menu.

Genos observed the two for a while then got up and aimed his incineration canons at Zenchiro.

"What the hell are you doing?! I knew your body was made of metal but I didn't your brain to be filled with metal as well. Sit. Down. Now." Sonic snarled.

"There are no customers here and the waitresses are at a safe distance. This is the quickest and easiest way to eliminate him." Genos answered. He readied to canons but as they were about to fire Sonic grabbed him by his shirt and pushed him back onto his seat.

"Sit. Down."


Fubuki fanned herself with her French fry while she made weird incoherent noises.

"That girl just pushed Genos down. Maybe Genos wanted to leave but the girl had found her true love in Genos and she doesn't want to leave him. Beautiful! Stunni- Hey! Saitama you are not listening."

"Miss Fubuki, your imagination is commendable," King said. Fubuki gave a blank look to King which soon turned into one of irritation.

"I am not imagining things! Do you have a better explanation?" King avoided Fubuki's death stare and took a tiny bite of his burger.

Saitama turned around. He was looking at Zenchiro with great intent. Fubuki soon joined them in observing the man while grumbling about no one listening to her accurate analysis. "I think Genos was about to blast this guy," Saitama whispered.

King gulped and nodded. "Maybe we should switch seats."

"Maybe that's her dad? Maybe he doesn't want her dating other people?." Fubuki piped. Saitama and King turned to her with the most disappointed look they could muster. King turned around and munched on a fry from the third batch.


"He's going to escape," Genos grumbled.

"He won't. He has a meeting today. It will take at least two hours." Sonic slid down into the seat once he was sure that Genos won't jump the gun again.

"You did your research. I didn't expect that from scum like you." Genos smirked.

Sonic sighed and pinched his nose. "Kid, I am not interested to have a chit chat with you so I would really appreciate it if you leave me alone."

"Absolutely not. Who knows what your real plans are. I am not leaving you with innocent civilians." Genos said.

"There are like three civilians in this entire restaurant and they ar-" Sonic stopped as he turned to Saitama's table.

"And they are covering their faces with the menu. Yeah, that's not suspicious at all. Hey, hero why don't you leave me alone and pick on those weirdos instead. They look more criminal than me." Sonic huffed.


"Hey, Fubuki why are we covering our faces with the menu?"

"Just do it! They are looking over at us!"

"What's the big problem if they look at us, Miss Fubuki?"

"Miss Fubuki?"

"Just cover your damn face!"


Genos was confused as to why they were hiding their face but he decided not to question his teacher's judgment.

"Sonic I say this for the last time. Waiting is an absolute waste of time. It is best to eliminate him right now." Genos said.

"Look my requestee has asked me to eliminate him and all the people he is meeting. I have to wait until the meeting starts, metal scrap."

"What is the people he is meeting are innocent?" Genos tapped his finger against the glass of water as Sonic seemed to be taking his time to answer.

"Doesn't matter. They all die." Sonic laughed almost as if he was proud of himself for coming up with that answer.

"You. "

"Do you honestly think " innocent" civilians would meet up with shady people like him? I am pretty sure that the people he is meeting today are just as bad as him." Sonic picked up the menu again and skimmed through it.

"You want something?" Sonic asked and Genos refused. Sonic called over the waiter with the most angelic smile and a hand wave. Although Genos hated to admit it Sonic was not that bad of an actor.

"Excuse me, think you can a coffee for me and uh..." Sonic coughed elegantly and Genos visibly cringed. Even if the acting was good the idea of Sonic acting cute was still gross. Sonic rolled his eyes at Genos then gave him a wicked grin that sent shivers down Genos' spine. Genos realized that Sonic was up to something.

"I would also like to order a Pretty Pink Fluffy Unicorn Candy Drizzle Happy flavored Choco Mocha Vanilla Strawberry milkshake for him please." Sonic placed the menu on the table and laughed, gently. The waiter nodded and quickly fled when she felt the temperature in the room increase thanks to all the steam pouring from Genos.

"Have you lost it?"

"Something wrong?" Sonic obnoxiously dragged the sentence and gave Genos a pat on the head.

"I am sure you will love it!"

"I will snap your neck."

"Try me, tin man."


"Looks like they're ordering something." Fubuki pointed out. She took a bite of the steak she ordered and hummed in approval.

"This is delectable. The flavors are flowing in my mouth." Fubuki smiled in pure bliss. She played with her steak and cut into tiny pieces. She picked one of the pieces on her fork and viewed it from every angle. "What a delicious masterpiece."

"What is that even supposed to mean? Just eat the damn food." Saitama said as he munched on his second burger. "I am not paying by the way."

"Come on, Saitama be a gentleman. Pay for the meal." Fubuki poked Saitama with her fork and he promptly ignored her.

"I will pay for it," King said. "I recently got a huge bonus from the HA for defeating some monster." Kind sighed knowing that it wasn't a monster that he had defeated but it was actually defeated by Saitama.

"See, now that's a true gentleman." Fubuki poked Saitama with her spoon again.

"Yeah, sure." Saitama munched on another fry from the fourth batch of fries.


"Here's your drink!" The waitress chirped and placed a simple coffee and a large weird gooey mountain of pink on Sonic's and Genos' table. For a few minutes, both didn't share a word.

"Drink up! You will love it." Sonic laughed, hideously.

"When I feel the need to get diabetes I will drink this garbage."

"If you drink it I will leave Saitama alone," Sonic stated.

Genos eyes perked up. He eyed the drink from top to bottom. Disgusting was the only word that floated in his mind. Yet, this was just a tiny hurdle that he had to cross to bring his teacher freedom from this stalker.

Genos grabbed the drink, put a straw in it, gave one last look at the mess that Genos was even afraid to call a drink then softly took a sip.

"You sure do a lot for Saitama. I wish I had a puppy-like you in my doorstep as well." Sonic's words went over Genos' ears as he gulped the drink in with great difficulty. He stopped for a second then observed the drink.

"It's not bad," Genos said.

"What? You are lying."

"Sure. Believe what you want." Genos leaned over to take another sip.

"You're kidding." Sonic picked up a straw and inserted it into the drink alongside Genos' straw and took a large sip. He sat down and contemplated for a while.

"So?" Genos asked.

"It's good. I can't believe it. It's fantastic!" Sonic took another sip along with Genos.


"I don't think I have seen anything as cute as that." Fubuki pointed at Genos and Sonic sharing a drink and smiled. "Someday I will find someone like that as well..."

"That drink looks horrendous," Saitama said and King nodded. "We should order it as well. Right King?" He turned to King who had already called the waiter over and was struggling to read the strange name of the drink.

Saitama and King observed them carefully while Fubuki picked up the long fry which Saitama had been saying for last and munched on it.


"Hey tin-can, you should leave now." Sonic snapped the straw in half.

"Who's the tin can? I am a high-end cyborg. You don't have any right to talk, hedgehog."

"Metal scrap."

"Trash."

"Teacher's puppy."

"Tch. Let it be known that sensei is faster than you, Speed-o'-sound Sonic."

"Oh? At least I try to grow stronger than him. All you do is jump around him."

"What is with that name anyway? It's so redundant. The same as saying a round circle."

"It's still better than..." Sonic cut himself off and turned away. Genos was confused at first but soon realized the reason for Sonic's hesitation.

"Are you serious? After spending nearly an hour in this restaurant you still don't know my name?"

"Shut up. I know it." "Yeah, sure. Why don't you tell it to me then?"

"I know it! I just don't want to say it out loud." Sonic snapped as Genos gave him a smile that screamed victory.


"Ah, they are whispering cute lovey-dovey things to each other."

"Give it a rest, will you?"

Fubuki had ordered another steak and was slowly eating tiny bits and pieces while savoring every bit of the taste.

Saitama, on the other hand, was eating his third burger. King had also ordered a steak after seeing Fubuki describe it as "heaven on Earth." King had now realized that what she said was true. It really did taste like heaven on Earth.

Zenchiro was tired of waiting for the client he was supposed to meet today. He turned around and tapped Saitama on his shoulders.

"Hello, I am Zenchiro. May I know your kind name?" He asked. Saitama sized him up from top to bottom. He had a black coat with a purple shirt and a yellow tie. Along with red shoes, he looked like a peacock.

"Saitama." He answered casually.

"Can you do me a favor, Saitama?" He held out a photo of a boy who Saitama felt like he had seen somewhere before.

"I was supposed to meet this kid today. He hasn't arrived yet. I am going to go for excretion in the cleansing room. Think you can wait for this gentleman?"

"Uh...sure," Saitama said and the man got off his seat.

"What the heck did he just say?"

"He wanted to poop," King said, softly.

Saitama, King, and Fubuki split the last fry in three ways and each munched on a tiny piece.


"I think he's leaving," Genos said.

"Don't get your panties in a twist he's just going to the restroom." Sonic was exhausted. He had put on loads of makeup and it was beginning to feel itchy. He kept sighing over and over again.

Genos could see that Sonic was tired of waiting. It had been almost four hours since they came to the restaurant and there was no sign of the guy who was supposed to meet Zenchiro.

"Sonic?"

"Hm?"

"Does the job require you to bring everyone he is meeting as well?" Genos asked.

"Well, it's just as a bonus. They didn't specifically ask me to bring the other guys." Sonic could see that they were thinking the same thing.

"I am so done with this. I don't need the bonus money. This dress is stupidly tight as well." Sonic placed his handle on the sword and stood up with Genos close behind him.

"Was it absolutely necessary to dress as a woman for the mission?"

"Yes, kid. If I didn't dress up there would have been a good chance he would have recognized me."

"Have you met him before?" He inquired.

"Met him? I worked for him. He was my former employee." Genos realized that Sonic was absolutely a hopeless human being.

"Where are they going?" Fubuki poked Saitama and kept pointing at Genos while Saitama tried to push her away.

"Jeez, you are annoying. How should I know?" Saitama kept a watch over the pair who walked right over to Zenchiro and the girl immediately kicked him.

"Huh?" Was all King could muster. Fubuki and Saitama watched, dumbfounded as the girl along with Genos beat up the man with several kicks and punches.

"What even is going on anymore? Why is that girl beating up that man? Wait, what is that?" The trio tried to get a good look at the shiny object that the girl pulled out from almost nowhere.

"Saitama, I think that's a sword." Fubuki didn't know what to think at this point.

"Did she just stab him? Ouch, that's gotta hurt. Wait what's Genos doing? He's pulling out those canons of his. Genos? GENOS! OH GOD, HE CAN'T HEAR US." Saitama immediately jumped from his seat but it was too late.

The blast caused a deafening sound and the restaurant was filled with smoke. The restaurant employees approached the girl angrily but their attitude soon changed when they saw Genos. The group had a discussion then some of the waiters came to the site and dragged the man on the floor away

"How the heck is he still alive?" Saitama's question elicited no response from the other two as they were just as confused as he was. Genos then turned to Saitama. The girl also followed his gaze and the moment her eyes fell on Saitama she turned to Genos and accusingly pointed at him. Genos slapped his finger away which caused the girl to slap Genos' hand. Then the incineration canons fired up again and this time Saitama was quick enough to catch hold of Genos, grab him and the girl and pull them out of the restaurant.

King called over the waiter, placed a stack of cash in front of her, and hurried out along with Fubuki to see what was happening.

"Why didn't you tell me that you were with Saitama, you brat?" Sonic demanded. Fubuki and King came out just in time to see Sonic pulling out his sword and holding it at Saitama's neck.

"I shall defeat you today, Saitama!" He pulled his sword back to strike but Genos caught hold of it and dragged it back. Sonic tried to free it out of his hands which caused a tug of war with neither relenting. Saitama sighed and pushed himself between the two and pushed them apart.

"Both of you are noisy! Enough!" Saitama hollered causing the two to jump back out of fear as well as the sudden change in Saitama's stance. Sonic drew his sword again but this time he didn't attack Saitama. He contemplated for a while then placed his sword back.

Saitama turned to Sonic but the ninja already exhausted from the day's mission left before anyone could say a thing.

"Saitama! Tin-can! Don't you dare think it's over! I will come back for sure."

"You told you would leave us alone! Now, keep your word, Sonic." Genos scoffed back.

"Are you stupid? I am keeping my word. I won't attack him today. I said I would leave him alone only for today not forever." Sonic hopped off leaving a fuming Genos behind.

"So, all this time...my beautiful love story was just some noisy ninja and you having fight?! Fubuki lamented as she shook Saitama.

"I have no idea what you are talking about but you better let go of sensei immediately or I will burn you to cinders."

King pulled out a little packet and opened it. "I still have no idea what happened but..uh...I have the remaining fries from the restaurant if anyone is hungry." Genos, Saitama, Fubuki, and King picked up a fry and munched on it

Notes:

I too want a Pretty Pink Fluffy Unicorn Candy Drizzle Happy flavored Choco Mocha Vanilla Strawberry milkshake.