Chapter Text
Beatrice
Today is Choosing Day.
Today is the day that I pick the faction that will decide what I am going to do for the rest of my life. My stomach is tied in knots, because I do not know what I should do.
Our city is divided up into five different factions. You’re supposed to choose your faction based on your personality. Each faction performs different roles in order to run the city smoothly. Amity runs the farms. They are kind-hearted, caring people. Candor provides us with judges and lawyers. They’re supposed to always tell the truth; often, they can be too truthful. Erudite develops all of our technology and provides us with doctors. They’re all smart. Dauntless provides us with our security forces. They have to be brave; my father says that they’re crazy. Maybe they are. They jump on and off moving trains, and sometimes they get hurt trying to prove their bravery. My faction, Abnegation, runs the government and provides volunteer services for the less fortunate. We’re supposed to be selfless.
Outside of these five factions, there are the factionless. These are the people that don’t belong in any group. Some of them were born factionless. Others at one point or another had a faction, but either were kicked out or left. I couldn’t imagine living life among the factionless. They don’t have a support system like we do within the factions, and although they are offered jobs, working in factories, cleaning, or running the trains, they never seem to have enough to eat, or enough warm clothing to wear in the winter.
The aptitude test that I took yesterday should have made the choice of what faction I should pick easy. It should have told me which faction I was most suited for. Unfortunately, my aptitude tests came back inconclusive.
I was pretty nervous going into the testing room. Everyone tells you not to be, but I couldn’t help it. I had no clue where I belonged. Some people, like my brother Caleb and our neighbor Susan, just seem born for Abnegation. I’m not. Caleb always has to remind me to help people out or give up my seat on the bus. I don’t feel like I belong here, but where else would I go? I have no clue where I belong, and here I am, taking a test that’s supposed to tell me where I belong for the rest of my life. How could I not be nervous?
As I entered the room, I noticed that there were mirrors covering the walls of the room. I couldn’t help but looking at myself. We aren’t allowed to look in the mirror in Abnegation, except for every third month when we get a haircut. My mother cut my hair earlier that day, so it wasn’t like I had already forgotten what I looked like, but mirrors are an oddity to me. I looked at my blonde hair tucked back into a bun, and my gray clothes covering up the rest of me like a tent.
In the center of the room, I noticed a reclining chair, almost like a dentist’s chair. It looked pretty intimidating. A Dauntless woman was in the room with me. She introduced herself as Tori and told me to have a seat. Trying to make me comfortable, she told me that it wouldn’t hurt. I wasn’t too sure about that, but I took a seat anyway.
Most of the testers are from Abnegation, but we can’t be tested by someone from our own faction, which means that someone else has to volunteer as well. I noticed that Tori had a hawk tattoo on her back. I asked her what it was for.
Tori remarked that she didn’t often meet curious Abnegation. I shouldn’t have asked. Curiosity is selfish. That’s what my parents have always taught me. I don’t really need to know why she has her hawk tattoo. She answered anyway, telling me that hawks were a symbol of the sun in some parts of the ancient world. Her tattoo was originally a reminder to herself to not be afraid of the dark, but today it is a reminder of a fear that she has overcome.
She gave me a clear liquid to drink, and as I closed my eyes, I found myself somewhere else.
I found myself in the school cafeteria. On the table in front of me were two baskets. One had cheese in it, the other had a knife. Behind me, a woman told me to choose. Why was I supposed to make a choice? The woman wouldn’t tell me why, but instead insisted that I make a choice. I crossed my arms and shook my head. I needed more information before making the choice.
I soon figured out what the two items were for, when a large, snarling dog appeared in the room. I could have pacified the dog with the cheese, or I could have killed the dog with the knife, but I had neither of those things to protect myself with. I tried to remember everything that I knew about dogs. I remembered from school that looking a dog in the eye was a sign of aggression. I lie down in front of the dog and look down on the floor. It got him to make peace with me.
A little girl in a white dress appeared in the simulation next. She was pretty excited to see the dog. “Puppy!” she exclaimed. Unfortunately, the dog was not as excited to see her. It sprang as if to attack her. Seeing what was happening, I jumped on the dog trying to protect the girl. The dog and the girl disappeared.
In the last part of the test, I was on a bus, and a scarred man was reading a newspaper. “Brutal Murderer Finally Apprehended!” the headline on the newspaper read. He asked me if I knew who he was. Something in my mind told me that it would be a bad idea to admit that I did know him. So I lied, even though deep down I knew that if I told the truth, I could save him.
Then the test ended. Tori said that I had an equal aptitude for Erudite, Dauntless, and Abnegation. She said that I was something called Divergent. Evidently, being Divergent is a dangerous thing, and I shouldn’t tell anybody about it. Unfortunately, being Divergent doesn’t help me figure out what faction I should join.
Abnegation would be the easy choice. If I choose Abnegation, I will get to stay with my family. If I choose another faction, I will be thought of as a traitor and will have to leave. I might never see my family again.
Unfortunately, I’m not really selfless enough to be a part of Abnegation. Helping others, like giving up my seat on a bus, giving away my possessions, or carrying other people’s bags for them, just doesn’t come automatically to me. I couldn’t even tell the truth to save that guy on the bus during the aptitude test. I shouldn’t really stay here. I can never be good enough to truly feel like I belong.
The Choosing Ceremony is located at the Hub, which is the tallest building in the city. It used to be called the Sears Tower, long before anybody that I ever met was alive. We walk up twenty flights of stairs to get to the Choosing Ceremony; fortunately, we don’t have to walk all of the way to the top. By walking, Abnegation allows the people in other factions to use the elevator. By the time we get to the twentieth floor, my legs are sore, and I struggle to breathe.
All of the sixteen-year-olds who are choosing their factions today arrange themselves in alphabetical order. My brother, Caleb, stands next to me; on the other side stands Danielle Pohler, a girl from Amity. Behind us sit our family members, grouped according to faction.
The factions take turns hosting the Choosing Ceremony; this year, that responsibility falls to my faction, Abnegation. Marcus, Abnegation’s leader, will give the opening address. Erudite recently reported that the reason his son, Tobias, transferred to Dauntless two years ago was because he was abusive to his son. My parents were talking about it at the dinner table last night.
I didn’t really know Tobias; I might have seen him once, at his mother’s funeral. Since he was a couple of years older than me, we never had classes together. I think I remember him being sick a lot. Mother would sometimes make chicken noodle soup for Tobias when she heard that he had been sick and had been missing school. She would have me carry it to their house which was right next to ours; our backyard was right next to his backyard. Marcus would always answer the door; I guess Tobias was always too sick to answer. Tobias never went to community events or came to dinner at our house when Marcus came over either; maybe he was just too sick most of the time. I don’t know how a kid like that could survive in Dauntless. Maybe he didn’t. Maybe he’s factionless today.
Marcus works with my dad because they both work on the city council together. The Erudite have been publishing lies about our faction lately; the abuse story was probably another one of them.
Five large metal bowls sit before us. When they call my name, I will be given a knife, and will make a cut in my hand. I will take the blood and drip it into one of the bowls, representing the different elements of the factions. Grey stones represent my faction, Abnegation. Lit coals represent Dauntless. These are the two factions that I am considering. Water represents Erudite, earth represents Amity, and glass stands for Candor. My aptitude test shows that I have no aptitude for Amity or Candor. I’m not kind or honest enough for either of those. While I do have the aptitude for Erudite, I couldn’t imagine myself in front of books all day. Even though I’ve narrowed my decision to two factions, the choice is not an easy one.
I will probably choose Dauntless. Caleb is selfless; I’m sure that he will choose Abnegation. I hate the thought of leaving my family, but I have to think of myself. That’s what Caleb advised me to do last night. If I choose Dauntless, they will still have Caleb; I guess that they will take comfort in that they still have their son left. Although I won’t see my parents much more after that, the appeal of the freedom that Dauntless brings appeals to me.
My parents approach me before they sit down. My father kisses me on the forehead, telling me that he will see me soon. Maybe not, I think. He’ll see Caleb soon, but if I choose Dauntless, then probably not.
My mother hugs me, looks me in the eyes, and tells me “I love you. No matter what.” Will she love me even if I leave my faction?
Perhaps she already knows that I’m thinking about leaving I think to myself.
Caleb grabs my hand and squeezes. I wonder if he’s as nervous as I am. He can’t be nervous though; I don’t know anybody as selfless as he is. I’m sure that it will be easy for him to pick Abnegation.
Marcus approaches the podium, and gives a speech about how the factions were picked in order to bring peace to the world. He talks about how we are all able to choose our way in the world, although he doesn’t mention that our choice has to fall into one of five pre-determined boxes.
He describes all of the factions. Amity blamed aggression for all of the troubles of the world, Erudite blamed ignorance. Candor blamed duplicity. Those that blamed selfishness created Abnegation; I do blame selfishness, but I am not selfless. Those who blamed cowardice formed the Dauntless faction. Could I be brave enough for Dauntless?
Marcus finishes his speech, and calls the names out in reverse alphabetical order.
One by one, the names are called. Most remain in their current faction. James Tucker is the first to change factions, from Dauntless to Candor. A low rumble erupts from the Dauntless section. He will be considered a faction traitor from now on. Eventually, they will forget about him. The motto Faction Before Blood is held in high regard in our city.
After a while, my brother’s name is called. Caleb squeezes my hand before he walks to the center of the room. He looks over his shoulder at me as he walks away. Marcus hands him a knife, and Caleb cuts into his palm. He stands in front of the bowls for a second, and then puts his hand over the Erudite bowl, dripping his blood into the water below.
Erudite? His decision surprises me. I thought that he was the selfless one. Then again, I do remember that he always had a lot of books in his room. Was his selflessness just Erudite behavior in disguise? It must have been. Either that, or he’s good at acting.
Although Abnegation is normally quiet, Caleb’s decision is met with low whispers and glares in the direction of Erudite. With all of the recent lies that Erudite has been publishing about us, how could he have chosen to go there?
Being the son of one of the city’s leaders, the choice to transfer seems to surprise many in the crowd. Marcus has to call the room to order. “Quiet, please!” he shouts.
After the room calms down, Marcus calls my name. It is now my turn to choose.
I nervously walk to the center of the room. Can I still choose Dauntless now? My parents would be devastated to lose both of their children. It would take bravery, and a bit of selfishness, to choose Dauntless; but how could I choose Abnegation, if even Caleb wasn’t selfless enough for Abnegation?
I want to choose Dauntless. No, I can’t choose that, I think to myself. I will choose to wear Abnegation grey, marry my neighbor Robert, and volunteer on the weekends. It will be a life of peace and safety. One day, perhaps, I will learn to be selfless.
I have to stay for my parents.
Marcus hands me the knife. As I look in his eyes, I notice that they are a strange dark blue color. I take the knife that he offers to me, and approach the bowls. Can I choose Dauntless? I could, but I shouldn’t. I need to be the child that stays. I need to do this for my parents. I cut unto my palm, and hesitate, standing with my hand between the bowls for a second. I want to be free, Dauntless. I can’t. I have to do this for my parents. I push my arm out over the grey stones, and my blood drips into the Abnegation bowl.
Was choosing Abnegation an act of cowardice? Or was it an act of bravery, living a life that I wasn’t sure that I wanted to live for my parents’ sakes? Although I am not selfless, this choice may be the most selfless choice that I have ever made. I will have to live with it. Once you make your choice, it is irrevocable.
I see my father smile at me as I return to my faction, although I don’t sit back next to him. I sit down in the front row in the Abnegation section. I am met with nods and small smiles. While other factions are greeted with wide smiles, cheers, and pats on the back, Abnegation is much more reserved. I will get used to it, over time. I think.
For the next month, I will be an Abnegation initiate. I won’t be staying with my family again until after initiation is over, although I will be seeing them on visiting day.
I watch the rest of the initiates make their choices. Abnegation isn’t really the most popular choice, although I’m not surprised. Being kind and helping others can feel good, but it’s not always easy. Besides, after all of the things that Erudite has been saying about us, I don’t blame people for wanting to stay away.
As the last initiates are called, I hear Susan Black’s name. She chooses Abnegation and takes a seat next to me. Her brother, Robert, is called next. He chooses Amity, leaving me a little puzzled. The Blacks have always seemed like they belonged in Abnegation. Caleb and Susan always liked to spend time together, and Robert would always come along. We were neighbors. Robert would often smile at me. I guess his smiles were just his Amity showing, not that he had an interest in me or anything.
When I woke up this morning, I thought that staying in Abnegation meant that I had my whole life mapped out for me. I’d marry Robert, live next to Susan and Caleb, and we’d all live a quiet, boring life ever after, raising our kids together. I guess that my life isn’t set in stone, even though I did choose Abnegation.
Tobias
Another year, another set of initiates. This is going to be my last though; after initiation, I am going to join the ranks of the factionless. In the last year, I’ve discovered more than I wanted to know about how cruel my faction, Dauntless, could really be. The factionless might not have an easy life, but they’re not cruel. I also discovered that my mother, who I thought was dead, was actually alive. She has become one of the leaders of the factionless.
It was a shock to see that my mom was still alive. It was almost as shocking to me to find out that the factionless actually had a support network. They did a lot of the things that I’m used to, like sharing with each other or forming friendships. They also seem to have more freedom than most of us do in the factions.
My father, Marcus, is the leader of the Abnegation faction. Perhaps leadership runs in my family. Max, one of the leaders of Dauntless, wants me to take a position of leadership in Dauntless, but I don’t want it. He only wants a puppet. I don’t want to be a part of it.
I would consider joining the factionless now, rather than waiting, but my best friend, Zeke, has a brother who will probably be joining this initiate class. I suspect that Uriah is Divergent, or belongs to more than one faction. He seems to have the trait of friendliness common to those in Amity. I am Divergent as well. My former instructor, Amar, also was. The leadership in Dauntless doesn’t like divergence; those that have that trait often end up dead. Amar did. So far, I’ve hid my divergence and have stayed safe. I have to help Uriah get through initiation safely, teaching him how to hide his divergence as well.
I wait at the entrance that all of the initiates are going to jump through. The jump is a test of bravery. In fact, the first couple of hours after joining Dauntless is a test of bravery. After choosing Dauntless, the first thing that they do is jump onto a moving train. That isn’t the end though. Jumping off the train, onto a rooftop that is several stories above the ground, is another test. The final test is jumping off of that rooftop. The initiates can see that they have to jump a great distance, through a hole in the ceiling, but they are not told what is at the bottom of the hole. A net will catch them, but they don’t know that.
I can hear them up above; one will jump soon.
Several of the Dauntless make their best guesses of who will be jumping first. My guess is that it will be Uriah. His brother was the first jumper in my class. The first jumper is almost always Dauntless. Not only are they taught from a young age to be brave, but most of them already know about the net at the bottom.
I look up, and a black blur falls into the net. I reach out my hands to pull him off of the net.
“Make the announcement, Four,” Lauren, a fellow initiate instructor, says to me. Everybody calls me Four. Eric is the only person here that knows my true name, Tobias. I left that name behind when I left Abnegation for Dauntless. I don’t want to have anything to do with my abusive father, Marcus. Eric won’t reveal my true name; I threatened him not to. He knows that I can beat him in a fight if I have to. I have before, and knocked out one of his teeth.
“First jumper—Uriah!” I shout. The other Dauntless members around me whoop and holler. Being first jumper is almost like a badge of honor, and Uriah has claimed his place in first-jumper fame, next to his brother. “I knew you’d be first,” I tell him, patting him on the back.
The other jumpers fall through the net, and I help them to the ground. After all the initiates jump, Lauren and I lead them through the Dauntless halls. We reach a fork in the hallway, and stop.
“This is where we divide,” Lauren says. “The Dauntless-born initiates are with me. I assume you don’t need a tour of the place.” I watch her lead them down a hallway, out of sight.
There are eight initiates left. None of the transfers are from Abnegation or Amity. Amity transfers to Dauntless are fairly rare; Abnegation transfers are even rarer. In fact, I am the only person to transfer to Dauntless from Abnegation for as long as anybody can remember. I address the group. “Most of the time I work in the control room, but for the next few weeks, I am your instructor. My name is Four.”
“Four, like the number?” a Candor girl asks, with a scoffing attitude. Candor can be so inquisitive and annoying. I’m not really big into questions. Besides, I need to make sure that this class of initiates respects me. I need to nip her inquisitiveness in the bud.
“Yes,” I reply, looking at her in the eyes. Some people say that I can be intimidating that way. “Is there a problem?”
“No.”
“Good. We’re about to go into the Pit, which you will someday learn to love. It—”
“The Pit? Clever name.” It was the Candor girl again. She’s rolling her eyes.
I walk up to her, lean into her face, and stare. I don’t need any Candor making smart remarks, and I certainly don’t want one of the initiates undermining my authority as their instructor. “What’s your name?” I ask quietly. I’ve learned that quietness can often be more intimidating than yelling.
“Christina,” she ekes out.
“Well, Christina, if I wanted to put up with Candor smart-mouths, I would have joined their faction.” I hiss. “The first lesson you will learn from me is to keep your mouth shut. Got that?”
She nods, her eyes wide. I think she got the hint.
I move down the tunnel, then through a set of double doors. I don’t look back, although I know that the rest of the initiates are following me. We enter the Pit, which is a huge underground cavern, with places to get food, clothing, and supplies built into the sides of the wall. Home, at least for the next few weeks.
“If you follow me,” I tell them, “I’ll show you the chasm.” I bring them to a dark area of the Pit, where there is a railing. Past the railing, a waterfall crashes against the rocks. “The chasm reminds us that there is a fine line between bravery and idiocy!” I shout. “A daredevil jump off this ledge will end your life. It has happened before and it will happen again. You’ve been warned.”
I bring them into the dining hall. It is loud, filled with the noise of people and clattering silverware. The Dauntless inside already stand; they applaud, shout, and stamp their feet for the new initiates. At least Dauntless can support their own at times. That’s one of the things that I like about this faction.
I take a seat at an empty table. The initiates join me. Next to me is a blonde-haired boy, and next to him is Christina. We’re having hamburgers tonight.
As we eat, the room suddenly becomes quiet. I look over my shoulder. Eric has entered the room.
“Who’s that?” hisses Christina.
“His name is Eric,” I say. “He’s a Dauntless leader.”
“Seriously? But he’s so young.”
I look at her sternly. “Age doesn’t matter here.”
Eric walks over to our table and sits down next to me.
“Well, aren’t you going to introduce me?” he asks, nodding to the initiates sitting next to me.
“This is Christina, and—”
“Will,” the blonde-haired boy next to me says.
Eric taps his fingers against the table. “What have you been doing lately, Four?” he asks me.
I shrug my shoulders. “Nothing, really.”
“Max tells me he keeps trying to meet with you, and you don’t show up,” he tells me. “He requested that I find out what’s going on with you.”
I look at Eric for a few seconds. “Tell him that I am satisfied with the position I currently hold.”
“Well, let’s hope he gets the point then,” Eric says, clapping me on the shoulder. When he leaves, I breathe out. Eric makes me nervous.
My friend Zeke calls me over from another table, and I go to join my friends. I have to work with Eric this year while training the initiates. That won’t be fun, but it’s part of the reason why I don’t go and join the factionless now. I can’t bear the thought of letting that maniac train them all by himself, especially with Uriah among them. Someone might get hurt.
“What do you think of the new initiates?” Zeke asks me, as I sit down. He’s sitting down next to his girlfriend, Shauna, and a couple of other people.
I shrug. “I bet Uriah’s going to be number one.”
Zeke smiles. “Anybody else look promising?”
“It’s too early to tell. The big guy looks strong, but you never know.”
Zeke shakes his head. “You never know,” he agrees. “You were the skinniest initiate there when you transferred. All covered in grey. I bet there were several people betting that you would be the first one to go factionless.” Zeke and I were in the same initiate class, although since he was born Dauntless, like Shauna, we didn’t train together for the first couple of weeks.
“The Candor transfer could easily get on my nerves though. She had comments to say about everything when I brought them in here. My name, the name of the Pit…”
“I’m sure that she’ll lose some of that Candor edge once she’s been here a while,” Shauna comments. “We all lose some of our original factions traits.”
“I don’t know about that,” Zeke says, pushing me in the arm. “Four might be strong, but he’s still a Stiff. I try to set him up with a nice girl, and he usually turns me down.”
I shake my head. “Let’s not get started with that again,” I say. “Your blind dates were disasters.”
“When you fall off a balance beam, you have to get right back on,” Zeke comments.
“I’ll meet the right girl someday,” I say.
“Whatever,” Zeke says, rolling his eyes. “Maybe you and that Candor girl will hit it off.”
I frown. I don’t think that that’s going to happen.