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Suna bites the inner part of his lower lip, his phone between his hands as always. He is used to being that way, using the Miya brothers' house’s kitchen counter as a personal seat. He can no longer remember all the times he has been there, as Osamu’s company while he cooks, drinking water with Atsumu after a long training, or with both and his phone in hand, already filming them while they fight in front of him for some foolishness.
But although his phone is still in his hands, the model has changed as well as his expression and his feelings. On that occasion, he is not the only one present since he only needs to take a look towards the sliding doors next to him to watch his former teammates, with whom he has had the opportunity to meet after a long time. He has heard each one talk a little about their lives, soon the moments that everyone has spent together while wearing the black uniform of Inarizaki, emerging to become the central topic of conversation.
He knows he should be with them, he is aware he should go out and sit down to keep talking about all the twins' fights that Kita has had to stop, to continue chatting about all the trainings they'd ever shared surrounded by the same four walls of the gym, but he just couldn’t keep pretending; and for the same reason he is there, sitting in what turns out to be his favorite place —as the twins' mom mentions every time she sees him because sometimes for her it’s like having three children instead of just two with identical faces— absently scrolling through twitter.
He hadn’t wanted not to attend because after all it’s still a meeting with his former teammates and it’s difficult for everyone to arrange a day to be together, but with the holidays approaching and therefore the family days coming by, apparently those who had already graduated had decided to return to the region to spend the same ones in the city they already know. Not being present would have been rude and he did want to see his teammates, but the lies involved and the lack of honesty, or rather, the excess of it, had led him to separate himself from the group after a awhile, realizing that he could no longer continue that way.
He knows that he should have said no, that he should have refused, but the opportunity had suddenly appeared before him and his lips had spoken an affirmative answer just as his head had made an affirmative movement to imply that what it seemed like a lie it was a truth, although it was still a lie no matter how many claims he had made. He should have said no, resisted, and shook his head as well as made a movement of denial with his hand. But no, he had let himself be carried away by a charming smile and a pleading pair of brown eyes, and now, for the same reason, he found himself that way, unsuccessfully trying to distract himself with the help of his phone.
Finally he takes his eyes off the screen of his phone when he hears someone open the sliding door of the kitchen, and he looks down again when Osamu approaches him to rest his elbows on the counter as he crosses one foot in front of the other, his elbow a few millimeters from brushing against his knee since he is sitting cross-legged. He is not impressed that Osamu is the one to also leave the meeting, since even though the other twin is the one leading all his thoughts, Osamu is still his best friend, a friendship that has grown between the two because they are as similar as different. He looks at him and Osamu looks at him, so he smiles, and therefore, Osamu too.
Suna knows that despite the evident friendship between the two, some people still continue to wonder how is it that they haven’t ended up together, how is it that they are not together, taking the friendship between them to a higher level, where those looks imply something else rather than pure and strict trust between two best friends. They are used to each other's company, and after almost three years of sharing class and team, they both know that if Suna doesn't kick him out it's because he's comfortable with him even though neither of them is smiling anymore, and because he knows that Osamu won't force him to talk about topics he doesn't want, nor ask questions which answers he doesn't want to answer —perhaps only the necessary ones, so he is not surprised once Osamu finally decides to open his mouth to show that although Suna is the one who has an excellent game sense, he also knows how to read people without the need of a net in between.
"I know you two have been pretendin’ since the beginning."
Suna's eyes rest on him instantly and he actually wants to be completely, totally amazed at the mention of those words. But he can only be surprised for a moment before his eyes stay as droopy as well as his shoulders once he understands what those words really mean. He can’t afford to be amazed and Osamu is not surprised.
He’s aware that Osamu knows him from head to toe, as well as his brother because he doesn’t need to share the same face or the same blood as them so that they can read him, or at least Osamu because if Atsumu could really read the intentions behind his words and actions, he wouldn't be there, talking to his brother.
"How?" Anyway Suna chooses to ask him.
"We’re talking about my brother." Osamu gives him an incredulous look and Suna can only form a line with his lips because he knows that that answer is enough to explain the situation. "Don’tcha think that if he really had had a boyfriend before me, he’da just thrown it to my face since I get up until late at night, when I'm about to close my eyes, instead of just hiding it?"
They both laugh knowing Osamu is right, and Osamu is glad that he can make him laugh.
In case Atsumu and Suna had actually started dating before Osamu and Akaashi did, Atsumu's words and teasing towards Osamu would have been limitless, the first of them wouldn’t have hesitated to express that he had finally gathered enough evidence to show that he is the prettiest of the two although their facial features are the same, and that he had been the one to choose a good dye color hair because Suna had apparently fallen in love with the blonde color of his hair and not the grayish one of Osamu. Atsumu would have used every day to demonstrate that he had won another of all the small competitions they had; but instead of performing all those actions, he had only decided to express to Osamu that he was dating someone when Osamu had told him that he was dating Akaashi, a behavior not at all characteristic of Atsumu's egotism.
"Why did he do it anyway?" Osamu asks.
Neither of them can deny that Atsumu's winning smile continues to be the same, but if there is something that the two can’t deny, it’s that like them, Atsumu has also changed certain attitudes, some parts of his personality, so for Osamu it’s not enough what Suna doesn’t hesitate to answer.
"We are talking about your brother."
Suna had only needed to be at the wrong time for Atsumu to take his face in his hands and join their lips in a quick kiss that left him stunned in his place, confused, and somewhat lost until he heard Atsumu say "See! Yer not the prettiest ‘Samu!" to know that somehow, and again, he had been involved in the brothers' fights, with the difference that this time, he couldn’t just take a look at them and leave, because apparently that kiss had been the beginning of a lie to assure Osamu that he and Atsumu were dating only because Osamu had just commented that he was dating Akaashi.
"And why didja do it? Why didja accept?"
Suna brushes his own shoulder with his cheek as if he wanted to rest his chin on it and watches him, a new shared look being enough until he decides to straighten up and rest his eyes on the kitchen floor, a barely divisible smile on his face. He could have chosen to slap or even headbutt Atsumu after suddenly kissing him and then establish that they were dating when in reality they had never acted in a more than friendly way between the two of them. It’s true that the relationship between them has grown thanks to the fact that Atsumu is now the team captain while Suna the vice-captain, but they had never acted affectively with each other anyway, at least not for someone else to think that they are more than close friends.
But instead of shaking his head and assuring Osamu that his brother was lying only because he likes to win no matter what it is, he had nodded when Osamu had asked if it was true.
"He promised me ice pops."
Osamu looks at him and Suna looks up because they both know that there are many missing words. It takes a lot more than ice pops to convince him to pretend to be Atsumu's boyfriend. Suna knows that in case feelings hadn’t been there since the very first start, he would have said no, or even walked away and went above and beyond for Atsumu not to stand a chance to beat Osamu. But he had only done the opposite, had agreed to lie because pretending had involved spending more time with Atsumu, pretending that they were more than friends, with kisses in the middle and their hands joined when necessary.
"I also know," Osamu begins, deciding to counter his previous words, "That you two are not pretending." He expresses before changing his position after straightening up, crossing his arms and resting his hips against the kitchen counter to look at him. Suna shakes his head, defeated because it’s not worth it to try to deny it when he knows that Osamu is right. "If yer not pretending, why are you here while my brother is there?"
Suna's eyes follow the direction where Osamu has tilted his head.
A small smile appears on his face when he sees Gin and Riseki with Akagi, Aran, and Oomimi around them, laughing at what is probably a new story involving the twins fighting, but the same smile disappears from his face when his gaze slides towards Atsumu, who is quietly chatting with Kita, both exchanging words as many other times they have done so. Atsumu laughs and Kita shakes his head, giving up. Atsumu smiles and blushes, and Kita again shakes his head.
Suna looks back at Osamu. "Because he is there. And I am here."
There’s no point in lying not only because Osamu already knows the truth and therefore assuring him that they are dating is a waste of time, but also because the boundaries between the truth and lies are blurred and being honest and allowing lies to leave his lips is the exact same action. From the first moment Suna has suspected that he was choosing to enter dangerous territory because his feelings have never been totally feigned, and since Atsumu has begun to act strangely with him, he has decided to tell him that keeping the fake relationship between the two makes no sense.
"Maybe I mentioned to him that pretending no longer makes any sense." He decides to add after realizing that avoiding mentioning too many words is actually a waste of time. "And he is mad at me."
He remembers the last time he has seen and spoken to Atsumu, that moment happening after the last practice of the week when only they had been the ones to stay in the lockers room to plan the practice exercises for next week, and also, so that the rest of their teammates thought that they would use that time to kiss after pretending to be a couple in the eyes of others; reason that had led Suna to mention to Atsumu that it was time to cut with the lie.
Osamu understand his words and hums, finally gathering the pieces of why his brother and his best friend had seemed to be certainly apart since the meeting had started. "Look," He decides to tell him after taking a look at his brother to refocus on Suna. "He’s an idiot, okay, but if he’s mad at ya 'cause you mentioned that you two should stop pretending the relationship, it’s not because he knows that he has lost against me, of course, but because not continuing to pretend implies... just that, that you two should no longer keep pretending."
Suna doesn’t understand his words and for the same reason confusion decorates his expression. Osamu rolls his eyes before letting out a sigh, knowing that behind the bad mood and terrible attitude of his brother, is the boy who is currently sitting next to him, still looking at him with an expression of confusion.
"Don'tcha wanna talk with him?"
Suna rests his eyes on his phone, considering the possibility.
Atsumu has asked him why he wants to stop pretending and he has replied that it doesn't make sense since enough time has passed, and instead of continuing to pretend a relationship, they could fake a fight so that they no longer have to continue holding hands or kissing each other on the cheek when someone is watching. But the reality is that Suna can no longer pretend, he no longer has enough energy to pretend that all those actions mean nothing to him, that they are nothing more than false and empty gestures. He doesn’t want to keep lying to others and neither to Atsumu, because just as for the rest he pretends that those actions mean everything, with Atsumu he pretends that they don’t mean anything.
Perhaps because they are both the leaders of the team and the time spent together has made him realize that Atsumu's confidence goes hand in hand with his determination. Perhaps because he can stand against his sarcasm with the same level of irony. Perhaps because his clumsiness is attractive and he has already accepted that sometimes he can't help but laugh when Atsumu bumps into a door or when a volley ball falls out of his hands.
He doesn’t know. But he does know that he is not pretending.
He also knows that that night is not the time to show that the meeting is putting him in a bad mood because he feels as if he has only been a replacement that Atsumu has used until Kita appears along with his gentle smile and serene words. He doesn’t want to ruin the team meeting, so instead of answering right away, he opts to stop sitting at the counter and keep his phone in the front pocket of his jeans.
"I think I'll go," He says scratching his neck. He’s annoyed with his own self and Osamu looking at him disapprovingly doesn’t help. "Just say that I had a stomachache or something."
"That will make it seem like my food is bad."
Suna smiles and Osamu raises both eyebrows. "Or that my stomach is still weak," He forms a duck mouth with his lips and gently hits his chest with his fist, his knuckles barely touching Osamu’s hoodie.
Osamu rolls his eyes and lets out a sigh. "I don't think you should go."
He doesn't want to leave either. He would like to stay, pretending to be Atsumu's boyfriend. But he can’t. He glances out into the courtyard of the house and his lips tense as he watches Atsumu scratch the back of his neck as Kita seems to mention a few words important enough for him to pay attention to him and stay quiet. He thinks it’s funny, really, the way he thought he could have been Atsumu’s real focus. He chooses to look at Osamu again and wrinkles his nose as he moves his hand, that being his way of saying goodbye before finally deciding to leave.
He takes a deep breath when he's out of the house.
It’s late and he embraces himself once winter hugs him. He starts walking and takes the silence from the street to keep thinking. He keeps his hands in the front pockets of his pants and raises his head toward the dark sky, a trail of natural smoke leaving his lips when he lets out a sigh. He considers himself a fool because he should have refused, because perhaps by saying no, his feelings would have remained alive but not ignited. He hadn’t thought through the situation well and the consequence of it had been to agree to date Atsumu so that the twins' mother wouldn’t only talk about Akaashi when their children's relationships came up as the topic of conversation. He shakes his head and a smile decorates his face as he watches the ground of the street.
He knows he can’t be surprised.
That the situation has worsened for him. That Osamu knows them. That even though they are now the upperclassmen of the team, Atsumu continues admiring Kita. He scolds himself because he can’t afford to be jealous when there is no one around him for whom he must pretend to be jealous, but he bites his lower lip because he doesn’t need someone to be with him since his jealousy is not a lie, and for the same reason he has decided to tell Atsumu that they should stop pretending. Because he wasn’t pretending, he is not pretending.
The kisses. The caresses. He is not pretending.
He raises his head again as he arches an eyebrow when he hears a noise that seems to be getting closer, since until now the silence of the night and the streetlight have been his only company, and he turns around at the same time his name is shouted. "Suna!"
Atsumu is the one to appear in his field of vision, rushing towards him until he stops in front of him to avoid colliding with Suna, since he remains still in his place, observing him with his barely furrowed brow once he realizes that Atsumu is actually in front of him, warm air leaving his lips as he tries to regain the one he has lost after running towards him.
The two look at each other and Suna’s muscles tense even more when Atsumu approaches him after taking off the red scarf around his neck to place it around his, a gesture so simple and common that between them becomes stiff and intimate because their eyes reciprocate each other’s colors and continue to do so once Atsumu steps back.
"What are you doing?" Suna asks him.
What is he doing in front of him. What is he doing placing his scarf around his neck. What is he doing to him.
"I know yer cold. The vice-captain of the team can’t get sick." Atsumu gives him a small smile.
Suna's expression doesn’t change. "You are the setter and the team captain. It's worse if you get sick." He says, though he doesn't remove his hands from his pockets to return the scarf.
"I know I'm good and important to the team, but so are ya."
Atsumu replaces the honesty of his smile with his charming smirk, and Suna gives him an incredulous look. "Have you decided whatcha going to do?" The blond adds, once again volleyball breaking the silence.
"I don't know." Suna answers.
The EJP Raijin Paper Mills team has invited him to see a training in two weeks, and he knows that Komori too, so he will at least count with a known face in case he decides to participate. He's still taking in the fact that a Division 1 team has contacted him because his way of reading the players on the other side of the net seems to be surprising enough to stand out a bit more than the others.
Atsumu knows that the focus will continue to be on him once graduation happens and his time at Inarizaki ends since he already has his future with a professional men's volleyball division 1 team, and nobody is really surprised. He loves volleyball, and if there is someone who deserves to be on the big stage making passes, it's him. Suna knows that he still has one more tournament to think about as well as to demonstrate what abilities he possesses, but unlike Osamu and Atsumu, he is still not completely sure of what he wants to do.
"Everyone says I'm lazy." He decides to add.
"What do you care?" Atsumu asks him, and Suna can’t really be amazed.
He knows that just as there are people who are surprised that they have offered him a first division training because he leaves practice as soon as they finish instead of staying too long unless Atsumu asks him to, the rest also allows the surprise to decorate their faces because Atsumu is still Miya Atsumu no matter if now he is the captain of the team. But not Suna. Atsumu is self-confident, responsible, and likes volleyball. Just like Kita used to do. Perhaps it’s true that Atsumu's confidence is excessive as well as his love for the sport, but both are still responsible people who want the best for the team, and the victory.
"Do you like volleyball?"
"Sure." Suna answers without hesitation.
"Then don't think twice and go to that training. If they have called you, it’s because they want ya. We are a lot, good volleyball players. So if they want you, it's because somehow you like volleyball."
Suna allows his lips to stop forming a line and Atsumu watches that gesture before forcing himself to turn his gaze back to him. Finally he stops mentioning words that have flourished just because and Suna keeps looking at him.
He believes that it’s the right situation to pretend that he has no interest and so turn around, but he knows that if he has not yet left it’s because he is tired of pretending, and because he can’t help but think that one of the reasons why he plans to accept the invitation for the training, is because in case the team really wants him, that will imply that at some point he will face Atsumu with a net in the middle instead of with him at his side, making perfect tosses like those he's used to spike.
"What are you doing here?" He asks him, again, specifying the fact that they are face to face. "I thought you were mad at me."
Atsumu bites the inner part of his lower lip after being fully aware that this is the first time they are talking that night as well as since Suna has mentioned that they have to end the false relationship between them. He scratches the back of his neck, but before he can speak, Suna continues to do so. "I thought you were having fun... there."
"Well, yeah, but then I saw 'Samu come in without ya and he told me you decided to leave." He told him, "So I decided to look for ya."
"Why?"
"I think..." Atsumu looks around them for a few seconds and then refocuses on him. "I think we need to talk."
"We are talking."
Suna wants to smile because the sarcasm glides along with his words but his face remains neutral while Atsumu gives him an incredulous look. "Talk about what you said."
"I wanted to do it and you got mad at me."
Suna gives him a serious look and Atsumu purses his lips for the same reason.
They know that Kita and Aran have chosen them as captain and vice-captain of the team because Atsumu has what it takes to lead the others, and because with Suna by his side he is prevented from over-training just because he feels he is having a great day. His serious look is the necessary balance for Atsumu’s egotistical smile, the levels of sarcasm of both are the same although one expresses them through released comments at the less expected moments while the other accompanies them with his accent regardless of what time of the day it is.
Suna rolls his eyes when the two still say nothing.
He is tired of the comings and goings with Atsumu. He doesn’t want the state of the relationship between the two to affect the team and so the only tournament they have left playing together, so he decides to be the first to speak.
"Osamu told me he knows we're faking... this."
This. He doesn't even know what 'this' means.
Atsumu looks at him to match his gaze and remains serious. He is not surprised that in some way or another his brother has managed to read the situation because he knows that Osamu always realizes when he is lying after all the times in which he has assured him that he hasn’t eaten his food as he held the plate behind his back. Unfortunately —and fortunately— Osamu knows how to read him as much as he knows how to read him regardless of whether one is smiling all the time while the other tends to opt for a neutral expression.
"And what didja say?"
"I didn't deny it if that's what you are expecting to hear."
"So?"
"So?" Suna repeats.
At first everything had gone according to the plan.
They talked, held hands, and kissed when Osamu appeared so that he would have evidence that they were indeed a couple and that Atsumu's words hadn’t been a lie when he had assured him that he was dating Suna. From time to time Suna appeared in their house because they also had to meet outside school, and they took advantage of the time to play volleyball in the courtyard of the house as well as to talk about the team since they were the leaders of it, sometimes joining their lips when Osamu appeared. The routine remained the same with the difference that now they had to prove that they were more than friends, that being captain and vice-captain had led them to spend more time together and to get to know each other better and thus end up choosing to hold a relationship that involves more than a friendship.
But promptly, and suggestively, the timing of the gestures had begun to change.
Kisses were no longer shared only when Osamu appeared, but when no one did. Their hands stayed together even though they were the only ones coming back from a practice after a late training. The messages between them continued to flow even though nobody was watching and verifying that they talked through their phones. The number of photos of Atsumu on Suna's phone had begun to grow and not only to capture moments where Atsumu chose to make funny and weird faces. It was no longer necessary for someone from the team to be present to exchange a loving gesture with each other, and for all those reasons Suna had decided that it was time to set a limit.
"Why did you kiss me? That time."
Suna thinks of Atsumu joining his lips to his for the first time in the locker room after Osamu had told Atsumu that he was dating Akaashi.
Atsumu lowers his gaze towards the ground. "You were the one closest to me."
"Gin was right there, at the same distance as me."
Suna is sure of it and Atsumu looks at him.
"Why did you get mad when I told you I can't fake it anymore?" Suna adds.
"'Cause it means having to put up with 'Samu making fun of me because if you can't fake it anymore then that means we have to pretend a fight."
"You know that Osamu wouldn’t make fun of you in case I, or whoever it is, breaks up with you."
"If you know my answers, then why are ya making these questions?" Atsumu looks at him.
"Because I want to know why you left when I told you I can't pretend anymore."
Atsumu rolls his eyes and chooses to cross his arms over his chest. Suna also rolls his eyes because he knows that Atsumu is stubborn, so he keeps looking at him until Atsumu stops pretending that the streetlight is more striking than his presence after again corresponding to his gaze. But on that occasion, Atsumu is the one who speaks before he can. "I will ask ya a question," He says, "Why do you say you can't fake it anymore?"
"I don't think it's fair to you."
"Why?"
Suna wants to tell the truth, but he's still not sure.
He is confused because he also doesn't know how much Atsumu is faking.
He knows that behind his winning smile, he is able to hide any feeling regardless of whether it’s happiness, sadness or anger. It’s his personal brand and his smile doesn’t leave him even when he feels that smiling is the least he wants to do. But just as Atsumu is skilled enough to seek refuge behind his own smile, Suna has the ability to read him as well as Osamu. After being the best friend of both, he has learned to differentiate the two beyond their hair color and by the very different yet so equal personalities of both. The two are just as sarcastic and troublesome, and they don't hesitate to ally as soon as someone threatens to infiltrate the sibling relationship between them. But unlike what everyone thinks, Osamu is the one of the two that usually explodes the fastest and allows his feelings to flourish when he has already reached his limits, while Atsumu continues to put up with it, his explosion ending expressing itself in the form of comments loaded with evil and anger towards others, with ulterior motives not because he is a bad person, but because that is his way of reacting.
From the time they have been pretending, at no time has Atsumu run his face to deny a kiss or hide his hand in the pockets of his jacket so that he can’t join his hand with his when they walk or are side by side, but neither has he allowed his smile to be just as true as when he makes a good pass or finds pudding in his refrigerator.
The relationship between the two has become a game, and although they are the leaders of the same team, sometimes it feels as if a net is in the middle of both, preventing them from connecting and communicating, regardless of whether they have the same uniform.
"What if I'm also lying to you?" Suna chooses to ask.
He wants to escape, but not really. He knows that he can still turn around and that if he remains totally serious, it’s because in reality he is repressing more than he wants to demonstrate, but he doesn’t want to continue escaping, nor to release the truth from one moment to the other.
Atsumu looks at him. "What are ya talking about?"
"If I was also lying to you, don't you think it would be unfair to you?"
Suna swallows. The fact of finally telling the truth after spending so much time pretending is more difficult to do than when he only decides to hide his feelings. He continues to take refuge behind his words, but now that he has had the opportunity to know how it feels to have what he wants even if it was through lies, he doesn’t want to be left with nothing.
"But if I was lying to you too, isn't that fair?" Atsumu tells him.
"What are you talking about?" Suna copies his earlier words.
Neither of them is sure if it’s necessary to continue adding words or not because during the last few weeks they have learned to communicate without the lack of words, only a glance being enough to make it known that at a certain moment it’s necessary to hold hands or join their lips, or stay apart to pretend they don't want to be found with their hands running through each other's bodies. But they have also learned that the caresses between the two have become unconscious because it’s a habit to which they have been forced to get used to.
Atsumu raises one of his arms to bring it closer to Suna's face, but as soon as Suna looks at his hand, he chooses to surrender to cross his arms again after realizing that a caress on his face is not welcome at that time. "Why didja leave my house?"
Suna bites his lower lip, knowing that a poor excuse won't be enough.
But the reality is, he doesn’t want his answer to be a silly excuse either.
If he has told Atsumu that he can no longer pretend, it’s because he really can’t anymore, and he is tired of the same thing. "You seemed to be okay with Kita-san." He decides to reply.
Atsumu narrows his eyes at him and then arches an eyebrow. "You know no one else is listening to us right now."
"I told you, I can't fake it anymore. I‘m not pretending."
He is not pretending to be jealous, he is jealous. He is not pretending to be upset, he is upset.
"Yer telling me that..." Atsumu stares at him for a few seconds, intently because he really finds it difficult to read Suna when it’s evident that the other doesn’t want him to do it despite the words he is saying, "...yer jealous?"
"If my jealousy bothers you, I turn around and I go home."
Suna doesn't want to leave but he also doesn't want to bother staying in case the truth doesn't have the consequences he wants. He doesn’t know what to expect, really, but although he is not precisely confessing the truth, expressing part of it isn’t easy either.
"Why do you think I got mad when you told me you don't wanna fake it anymore?" Atsumu decides to ask him.
Suna shrugs. "Because you didn’t want Osamu to find out it was a lie?"
"What if it wasn't all a lie?"
"You're confusing me."
A grimace decorates his face and Atsumu lets out a breath.
Promptly they allow the same type of complaint to leave their lips. They are teenagers, they don't have their lives resolved, much less when it comes to finding a solution for feelings that never really have an eternal end. There are nerves mixed with hope, and yearning hidden under rudeness.
"I was talking about ya with Kita-san."
"Why?" Suna narrows his gaze.
"Because I think he..." Atsumu tilts his head and bites his lower lip before he keeps talking. "He is the only one who can advise me on what to do when things change with your vice-captain. You understand?"
Aran has been Kita’s vice-captain and he is Atsumu’s vice-captain.
"You understand me?" Atsumu asks again.
Suna arches an eyebrow, wondering if somehow it has been possible for him not to notice that just like them, for some reason Kita and Aran had pretended to be in a relationship although if they had, he had never witnessed the same thing since he had never met or seen them holding hands or kissing. He wonders what Atsumu is referring to when he asks that question, and if perhaps he wants to make him understand that despite having pretended to be in a relationship in the past, now the ones that had been their teammates last year, can still be friends anyway, without any discomfort between them. Perhaps Atsumu is commenting it to him through those words that he agrees that they should stop pretending because he no longer wants to.
"Are ya understanding me?" Atsumu asks him again because he is still silent.
"Stop asking me the same question, I'm not understanding what you want—"
"I like ya."
Suna remains with his mouth open, with the words in his throat and the perplexity being present on his face. Atsumu takes a step closer to him and Suna turns his hands into soft fists that are still in the front pockets of his jeans. No one besides them is present so they are not part of a show, and suddenly Suna is aware of everything. The closeness between the two, the exchange of words that causes the truth to be hidden behind words with a question mark at the end. But Atsumu has just expressed, said, assured, and not asked or questioned, that he likes him.
"Repeat that again." Suna demands.
After so many pretended —not so pretended— moments, he needs to hear the truth again.
"I like ya." Atsumu repeats without hesitation.
Suna takes a deep breath and leaves his hands out of his pockets.
"Again."
"I like you."
"No accent."
"It disappears after saying the same thing a few times."
Atsumu purses his lips and the tips of his ears are pink. Suna swallows again, and that time his eyes don’t leave Atsumu's when Atsumu raises his arm, on that occasion moving it until his hand stays on Suna's cheek. His hand is cold but his face is too, and yet he doesn't hesitate to lean into the contact. Neither of them because they have to pretend and therefore repeat the same actions, but because they both decide to establish that physical contact between them.
"Yer skills will help us win nationals, but you really don't know how to understand a situation when it comes to ya, don’tcha?" Atsumu asks him, and this time he smiles when Suna looks at him seriously. "Kita-san and Aran-kun are tryin' to decide what to do with their relationship. Kita-san was telling me what to do because I said I like ya but I don't want our relationship to get in the way of the team."
"So Kita-san is the reason why you're here."
Finally Suna smiles when Atsumu gives him an incredulous look.
"Can ya give me some credit? I just confessed that I like you three times and it's not easy, you know." Atsumu assures him, though the caress he makes with his thumb on his cheek is a confident gesture. "Besides, you haven't told me that you like me."
The smile on Suna's face that he outlines with his thumb assures him that it’s not necessary to listen to words equal to his to know that their feelings are equally honest and sincere, but anyway he smiles when Suna is who takes another step to look at him.
"I like you."
It's true. And being honest feels good.
Atsumu arches an eyebrow as he slides his hand down his neck and raises his other arm to surround his neck, fiddling with the scarf. "Really? He asks, and Suna nods. "A lot?"
Suna takes the zipper of Atsumu’s jacket to tug on it and he looks at him when their faces remain a few millimeters away. "I like ya." He expresses on purpose.
Atsumu arches an eyebrow and Suna smiles.
"One more time."
"I like you."
"Ah, no accent."
"I come from Tokyo you dumb f—"
"Okay, this is the part where you kiss me because you thank me for coming to get ya." Atsumu interrupts him.
Suna narrows his gaze but smiles. He smiles because he can finally see truth and honest happiness in the curvature that Atsumu's mouth holds. He is not pretending, he is not hiding behind that gesture. The truth has already been told so there’s nothing more to express through lies. His smile is a real one and he knows that he must consider himself lucky to have such an image.
"No, this is the part where you kiss me because you thank me for not ignoring you and going home even if I heard you shouting my name."
"You wouldn’t dare to ignore me."
"You know I would."
"Actually, I know, so just in case I won't let ya escape a second time."
Atsumu joins his lips to his and it’s not a different kiss because apparently they had stopped joining their lips with lies in between somewhere in the past, since the fact that they have faked for others didn’t imply that they have faked with each other. They know that the time to continue wondering if they are the only one of the two hiding behind a lie is over, because if they kiss it’s not because someone is watching them, but because the night is the only witness of their mess.
They leave their foreheads together and Atsumu smiles once they break apart.
"I can't wait to brag that I have a boyfriend now, 'Samu will s—"
"Really? Boyfriend?" Suna interrupts him. He raises both eyebrows, an amused smile on his face. If he likes Atsumu, it's because he is capable of being just as annoying and holding the best copy of his winning smile.
"Please? If ya want? Again?"
A totally exaggerated sigh that turns into grey air leaves Suna's lips. "If I have no other choice..."
"Asshole."
"Not as much as you."
Atsumu accepts his words after shrugging because he knows he is right, but Suna assures him that his answer is affirmative after joining his lips to his again. He doesn’t object when he feels Atsumu's hands sliding down his arms until they reach his hands to take them with his to assure him that there is a meeting to which they have to return. Their fingers intertwine and they share a look to then laugh and shake their heads in the same way. They don't have to pretend anymore.