Chapter Text
You might be the most loyal person on this planet, because when Minnie tells you there’s a new guy you must hate, you don’t even think twice before agreeing.
She can’t stop fidgeting with the skirt of her white halter dress as she surreptitiously tries to eye the huge group of guys across the way. She tilts her head to the side, directing your gaze to her intended target as she mumbles, “There. That’s him.”
You whip your head to the right, you don’t care about being subtle, this is your house and you’ll look at whoever you damn please. Her directions don’t really help, because there’s a dozen and one of Johnny’s obnoxious friends crowded around the drinks table.
“Who? Which one?” Your teeth clang against your glass as you count them off. Taeyong, Doyoung, Taeil, a couple you recognize but don’t know the names of, they’re all annoying and they’re all here. You’d thought Minnie was doing a better job of picking out guys in college, but if she’s talking about one of them you’re going to need to have a serious talk.
“There,” she points a finger over to the guys. “In the blue shirt.”
You look, and immediately groan out loud, “Oh my god, Minnie, you cannot be serious.”
You glance at the boy she’s pointed to, back at her rapidly reddening face, back to him, back to her, then you chug your remaining cocktail in an instant. Minnie’s requested hatred has suddenly become that much easier for you.
You knock your head back against your chair, then gripe, “I let you out of my sight for a couple years and suddenly you’re all brokenhearted about Jaehyun Jung?”
Not once had you thought their paths would cross at Georgetown. Out of all Johnny’s goon squad, he is the least surprising one Minnie could’ve brought up, and you’re kind of disappointed in her for that.
“You know him?” Minnie gasps, pulling you closer to her. “I never mentioned him all those times you called because I never thought you knew him!”
“Unfortunately, yes.”
You don’t make it a habit of letting people know you know Jaehyun Jung. But you and Minnie had only really gotten close during your senior year, and knowing Jaehyun happened, regrettably, well before that.
“His summer house is right down the street. I’ve known him tangentially for a while now,” you mutter, now annoyed as you’re forced to recall the numerous Hampton vacations ruined by that boy. ”The politicians’ circle is small and the offspring of politicians circle is even more so.”
He was the opposite of a summer fling then, truly a summer nuisance, and you’d been so happy when your father let you jet off elsewhere for the past couple years. But now, you’re back for the weekend, Minnie in tow, and so is he.
“Ew,” she wrinkles her nose at your story, and you do the same.
“Ew is right,” you mimic, then glance back over to where he’s standing. “Remind me exactly why we hate him?”
You’ve solemnly swore to hold disdain for any and all men who give Minnie trouble. But she’d gone through so many stories during your first two years of college that you’re not entirely sure how Jaehyun has personally wronged her.
“We hooked up all of spring semester and he didn’t invite me to his fraternity’s formal,” she laments sadly as she wistfully stares across the ballroom. “He ended up taking Mina instead.”
Dear Higher Power, you think to yourself, we hate Jaehyun and Mina by proxy, though that is technically against the rules of feminism, that’s within the bounds of friendship. Amen.
“Wassup, girls?” Someone plops onto the arm of the rocking chair you’re sitting in and clinks their glass around yours. You look up to see a familiar non-douchey face, and grin.
“Hey, Marky,” you greet Mark as you lean your head against his thigh.
Minnie blushes. Though Jaehyun is occupying her mind, she apparently also hasn’t let go of her crush on your best friend. “Hi, Mark.”
“What are you guys up to?” He asks, slurping up whatever’s in his cup, and you hope that he’s policing his intake tonight. You’re not at school.
You raise your nose in the air, adopting a haughty tone, “We’re generally slandering Jaehyun Jung and everything he stands for.”
“Jae’s cool, though,” Mark protests innocently, and the casual nickname that comes from your friend is enough to give you pause.
When, oh when, has Mark had time to get acquainted with Jaehyun? You know he goes down to visit Georgetown fairly often, but he’d never brought up the other man in your conversations before. Is your anti-Jaehyun vibe that strong that everyone just avoids the subject of him around you?
“You’re a guy,” you retort, though Mark is the least broiest bro you know. “Of course you’d think that.”
“Yes, but Johnny also thinks so,” Mark tries to reason with you, but you cut him off.
“The world doesn’t revolve around John.”
“Wait, wait,” Minnie hushes the two of you. “Here he comes.”
There’s only one he she can be referring to. You’ve scrolled by pictures on social media here and there, but the last time you’d really seen Jaehyun was when you were scrawny freshmen. Of course, even then, he’d been ridiculously good looking in a lanky, boyish way. But now, - and you’ll never admit this to anyone, not ever - now, it’s a completely different story.
Mark is cutely handsome, and you have to accept that your brother is objectively good looking. His fraternity brothers are all competing levels of attractive, like the best looking men on campus had gravitated to each other and joined NCT all at once. Taeil is comely in a warm way, while Taeyong has the ice elf look about him, and Doyoung is stately and elegant, with dark black hair.
Well, Jaehyun sort of blows them right out of the water.
It’s an admission you have to make under duress, with gritted teeth and a clench in your jaw. But he is… beautiful. You thought you’d been stunned when Chace Crawford came to grounds last year while he was filming a movie, but even he can’t really compare. There’s nothing to compare to golden honey blonde hair, arranged in this masterfully lazy side swept arrangement, to a sky blue silk shirt over a pair of broad shoulders that’s haphazardly unbuttoned, to this sort of commanding aura that surrounds him like a halo.
Every single girl that’s here in your home right now, old to young, Minnie included, is practically salivating over him, following his every move as he walks up to you. But because you have no shame and no girlish reputation to uphold, you don’t try to hide your blatant sneer when he walks up to your little group.
“Hi, Jae, long time no see,” Minnie murmurs, the same blush from before staining her cheeks.
“Hi,” Jaehyun answers, but he pays little to no other attention to her, because his crisp amber stare is now boring itself into you. You really want to flip him off in the middle of this party, but that certainly wouldn’t be following decorum. He needs to turn his lurid stare elsewhere.
“Yo, Jung!” Mark chuckles, the two of them bumping fists in a very friendly way. “Good to see you.”
“Sup, man,” Jaehyun claps your friend on his back, though he still has not removed his gaze from you. “Good to see you, too.”
“Jaehyun, get back here, man!” One of the hooligans across the way calls, and he turns to head back to his friends, giving you one cursory, last glance from over his shoulder.
High school Jaehyun hadn’t been that fucking bizarre, or bold, in his behavior towards you. You could sum it up as low-level tolerance, glazed over with mutual annoyance and infused with deep, unexplained resentment. But you’d honestly take that over whatever the fuck that just was.
“What a dick,” you grumble under your breath.
“Why did you ignore him?!” Minnie practically cries, shoving at your shoulder like she can’t believe what you’ve just done.
“I thought you said we hated him….” you mutter blankly. “And I do….”
“Ugh but he looked so upset, and so cute. I’m going to go talk to him,” she states breezily, like you hadn’t spent the past fifteen minute shit-talking him. She gets up, brushes off the skirt of her dress, fluffs up her curls, and goes sauntering over to where the boys are gathered.
As you watch her try to insert herself into Doyoung and Jaehyun’s conversation, you sigh out loud, “I’m regretting the fact that we decided to come here instead of the Turks house.”
“We’ve gone to the Turks every summer since we were sophomores in high school,” Mark pokes at your cheek as he chuckles. “It’s your brother’s graduation party and he wanted to have it here.”
You glance over to the giant wall filled with golden balloons spelling out Happy Graduation John! Why your brother wanted to have his party here instead of your beach house, you don’t understand. At least in the Turks, it’d just be you and Johnny and Mark and your families, with none of these other stragglers.
“Just you wait, my graduation,” you start to gripe, and then Mark pointedly elbows you. You amend, “Our graduation party will be even better.”
Minnie and Jaehyun are clearly flirting now, she has one strand of hair caught in her fingers as she twirls it to and fro, so enchanted by whatever he’s saying.
“Why my idiot brother invited him is beyond me,” you’re basically voicing your internal monologue at this point because Mark won’t care. “Ew, the fact that they’re fraternity brothers makes him my relative by proxy or something.”
Mark laughs out loud at the expression of disgust on your face, “That’s not how it works.”
“You’re not in a frat, you’re not the authority on this subject.”
“I am in a social club, thank you very much.”
“A decision I’ll never understand,” you roll your eyes as you think of your funny friend amongst the elite of Harvard’s pretentious social organizations. The ice in Mark’s glass rattles around loudly and you warn him in a low voice, “Chug that drink before your dad sees you, or worse, mine. I’ll get you a different cup so you don’t look that obvious.”
Even though you both partied on campus, and have been drinking together for years, to your dad and his friends, you were still the prim and proper underaged students that you were supposed to be. You’d made a big show of pouring yourself seltzer when you first arrived at the party, only subtly pouring in the vodka when no adults were looking.
“By the way, where’s Channie?”
You haven’t seen Haechan here yet tonight, as joined to the hip to Mark as he is. If all the NCT boys are here, surely he would’ve come up as well. He’s basically the whole reason Mark goes down to Georgetown so often.
Mark frowns. “His internship in San Francisco started last week and he wasn’t able to fly back.”
“Ugh, I’m sorry,” you ruffle his hair, hoping to cheer him up from missing his other best friend. “I’ll put a double shot in for you.”
That does the trick, earning you a patented Mark Lee Cheeky Grin and his famed Gru impression. “Thanks, baby gorl, you’re the best!”
There are perks to being the de facto hostess of this party, because you don’t have to go to the public set up to retrieve a new cup for Mark. You bypass it for the kitchen, the mostly empty room providing you with a brief respite from the bustling animosity of the gathering outside. You walk by someone searching through your freezer and retrieve from the shelves an opaque glass for Mark, its dark coloring sufficient enough to disguise his whiskey.
You turn to leave just as the ice tray slips out of the fingers of the person by the freezer. You have enough foresight to stick your hand out and catch it before the ice shatters everywhere, and you’re about to give this stranger a piece of your mind for going rummaging in your kitchen, when you realize who it is.
“I had that,” Jaehyun begins to explain, then he sees that it’s you who’s caught the ice tray.
“Sure, cocky bastard,” you spit.
His eyebrow quirks, inviting the fight as he immediately snarls back, “I did, frigid witch.”
Suddenly, you’re twelve again and getting lectured by your father for using the word bastard, and you only said it because Jaehyun called you a frigid witch first! It wasn’t until high school that you had added cocky in, because he had deserved that label even then.
You purse your lips at his propriety. “We’re not kids anymore, you can call me frigid bitch. You won’t go to hell for cursing, even if your stepmother thinks so.”
You’re sure the ever fashionable and pious Stephanie Jung is here in your house somewhere, but she’s not around to catch her stepson cursing right now. He can’t possibly want you to think he still doesn’t curse. Every college student has a sailor mouth, yourself included.
Jaehyun’s eyes narrow at you and he snaps at you with a cutting jibe, “I’m sure the cold weather of Boston has only added to your legend.”
You don’t even let his remark mar at you, only giving it back as good as you got, “I wonder if there’s a single woman in D.C. who didn’t take their turn letting you fail to live up to your nickname.”
You’re trying to stand up for Minnie, to expose the womanizing ways you’re sure he partakes in, but you’ve absolutely chosen the wrong path of attack. You know you have, because instead of him spitting back some vitriol, a smug smile dances a bachata across his face.
“Are you trying to find out? Those New England boys not doing enough?”
You literally cannot believe he’s acting like this, cannot believe your body is having the audacity to react in this way, to allow the slightest lick of heat to curl up the back of your neck.
You cross your arms in front of you, and scoff, “I’m seriously appalled you’re here.”
His eyebrow lifts. “Are you that surprised to see me?”
“Aha!” Johnny bursts into the kitchen, glass of bourbon in his hand. “My favorite NCT brother!”
“Hey, pres. Congratulations, again,” Jaehyun strains to get the words out in the midst of Johnny’s tight hug. “Thanks for the invite.”
This disloyal prick.
“Of course,” Johnny presses the side of his face into Jaehyun’s and your brother is already well on his way to drunk. “There’s no other person I’d want to celebrate my time in college with.”
“You,” you snarl under your breath, feeling like chopped liver as you stand there. “You invited him.”
Both of the men open their mouths in mocking os, and Johnny whines, “He’s my brother!”
“I’m your real sister!” You exclaim, about to start off another round of arguing, but your father’s booming voice silences you all.
“Attention!”
That tells you exactly what you need to do, and so you shove the ice tray back into the freezer with a snarling frown towards Jaehyun, who backs off sheepishly with his hands raised. You grab Johnny’s hand and tug him back into the ballroom, snagging two glasses of champagne (the only acceptable alcohol for you tonight), and position him by your father’s right side.
You squeeze your dad’s shoulder, then make your way to stand by his left.
This is something you’re used to, what seems like a thousand and one gazes on you, but it’s the first time you’ve had an active corner of the room to avoid. But that’s easy, because you can focus on Mark grinning at you from beside his dad, instead of over to the dangerous area you’ve just emerged from.
“Thank you, everyone, for being here tonight, I — and my family — have a lot to be grateful for,” your father warmly addresses the crowd. He puts his arm around Johnny’s shoulder and you lean yourself into his side. “John has graduated from Georgetown with honors, and y/n has just finished up her second year at Harvard. It means so much for me to have you all here celebrating with us. I don’t want to bore you all with a puffed up speech, so all I will end with is enjoy my champagne! Cheers!”
The assembled crowd echoes with a Cheers! of their own and the symphony of glasses clanking rings into your ears. As Mr. Lee makes his way over to congratulate your dad, Johnny slips his hand into yours, whispering quietly, “I wish mom could be here.”
You let out a sigh, from the depths of your sun-dried heart, and reply, “Yeah. Me too.”
The sunflower of your mom’s presence would be the cherry to top off this night.
“Governor Suh.”
You and Johnny both turn to where someone has approached your father, and your eyes narrow at the sight of Jeffrey Jung, Sr. — Boston’s former congressman, but more notably, Jaehyun’s father.
You will never forget the Election Day debacle from five years ago, Jaehyun and his father’s stunned faces as your dad was declared the new governor of Massachusetts. You suppose you’ve also pinpointed the moment the relationship was soured forever. That was also the last time you’d seen the eldest Jung in person.
But your father, ever the consummate gentleman, greets him back politely, “Congressman Jung.”
Though you suppose the congressman moniker can now be dropped, because Jaehyun’s father has been retired from the world of politics since his failed campaign. Perhaps for the betterment of the state.
“Congratulations on graduating, John,” the older man addresses your brother, the wrinkles by his eyes creasing in the same way his son’s do. “I know Jaehyun enjoyed having you on campus. Made his move there a bit easier, especially with the way you welcomed him as a Nu brother like you did.”
Johnny accepts the greetings with practiced poise, “Thank you. And yeah, Jae’s great, it’s been really awesome to have him in NCT.”
Jaehyun’s father turns his attention to you next, and his voice is warm then, “Y/n, so glad to hear you’re flourishing at Harvard. I always knew your dad had to have a legacy.”
You catch Johnny’s subtle flinch at the comment. Though your father let you freely choose which universities you wanted to go to, you knew he was always holding out hope that one of you would follow in his Crimson footsteps. When Johnny had only gotten into Georgetown, that burden had fallen on you. You’d followed through for your family like you always did, and always will, by getting in on an early application. You purposefully never bring it up in this manner though, as to not upset Johnny, and already feel annoyed at the congressman for doing so.
But you’re still a member of this family in all ways, you can’t give Mr. Jung the cold shoulder like you want to.
You just smile demurely and reply, “Thank you, sir.”
He starts to engage your father in some meaningless conversation you couldn’t give a shit about, giving you and Johnny the perfect avenue to slip away from the mingling.
“Narc,” you mutter under your breath at the older man’s turned back.
Johnny coughs over the sip of champagne he’s just taken, “D-did you just call Congressman Jung a narc?”
“Isn’t it like public knowledge how he sold out all those kids at BC to the feds for that weed scandal all those years ago?” You can definitely picture the scathing headline, probably the exact nail in the coffin that had lost him that election. Ironic, considering his own son joined a fraternity that loved to partake in that very habit.
“That’s not being a narc, that was doing the right thing,” Johnny says sternly. “I’m pretty sure they had a shit ton of weed. ”
You’ll never understand how uptight he is about things like this sometimes, even your dad had sided with you. And you know for certain that the NCT brothers love a good dabble in marijuana. “Everyone smokes weed in college, John. You’re saying you didn’t?”
Johnny shakes his head. “No, I’m not saying that.”
“He’s just another buttoned up example of how politics in this country have gone down the toilet.”
“Dad’s a politician,” Johnny points out, and you roll your eyes.
“He’s a politician we like, though.”
“Yeah, yeah. You’re too loyal,” Johnny tugs at your earlobe, and you yelp. “Don’t get too riled up over the Jungs tonight, okay? It’s my night.”
Ugh, this is one of your biggest flaws, how guarded you get and how things like this can take over your attitude in a second. You try not to get involved in your dad’s job as much as you can, but it nags at you, no matter what you do. It’s just in your blood, protecting your family. You don’t think you’ll be able to let go of the ads that Jaehyun's dad ran against yours that election cycle, though you realize that’s just part of the game.
But tonight is meant to be a lighthearted party, and you owe Johnny and his hard work at Georgetown as much.
“Right, I’m sorry.”
“Don’t worry about it, corn pop. I’m going to go find Yong and the boys.” He gives you one more tug on the ear, calling you by your secret childhood nickname to let you know he isn’t actually upset. Once you smile back fondly, he disappears into the crowd, leaving you in the middle of the empty hallway.
You glance at yourself in the full length mirror that’s pinned up on the opposite wall. This is an odd moment for you, self-reflecting in the middle of the ruckus filling up the house. There’s nothing wrong with your outward appearance, your white dress is still immaculately flowing around your figure, heels still high, makeup still primed.
But something about you feels like it’s just a tad bit off, you don’t know if it’s because you’ve had a plethora of weird interactions tonight, or if it’s maybe because your hand has been a bit heavy at pouring the vodka in your cup.
Ah, you know why. It’s because Jaehyun is also visible in the mirror’s reflection.
He’s not right next to you, he’s still far enough away that you won’t make a rude comment, but he’s also close enough for you to hear the way he says, “You didn’t answer my question earlier.”
You know exactly what question he’s referencing, but you’re just going to feign ignorance and smooth out a tendril of hair behind your ear. He takes that opportunity to get up close and personal, walking up to where you’re standing by the mirror and allowing his shoulder to brush yours so, so casually. This is a painting straight out of the era of romanticism, usually muted colors of your clothes shining crisply in the hall light, the tapestry behind you lush as a background. The rays of straining tautness clearly radiate out between the two of you as you each stare at the other in the reflection.
You can’t watch the way his pink lips repeat, “Are those New England boys not doing enough for you?”
“You are a New England boy,” you answer him blandly, turning away from the mirror so you can’t contemplate how aesthetically pleasing you both are now that you’re older. “Just because you go to a school that’s technically in the south doesn’t mean you can pretend otherwise.”
Jaehyun has a response for everything, devilishly smooth in a way that he wasn’t before, “And just because you keep ignoring me doesn’t mean I’m going to drop the topic.”
“We have not seen each other since high school, what business is it of yours?” You try your best to come off as bored, but he’s already affecting you in this way. You love Minnie, but you cannot be like her tonight.
“It’s my business because I enjoy how much asking riles you up.”
He states it plainly, no affectations or strings, but it’s way too much for seeing him for the first time in years. Way too much paired with the way that his arm continues to hover by yours. The tension had never detonated between the two of you like this.
“Y/n, is that you? Oh it’s so good to finally see you,” you’re saved, blessedly, by the appearance of Jaehyun’s stepmother in the hallway.
She’s still as youthful as ever, dolled up in a Gucci dress that’s almost as short as yours, signature sparkling gold cross necklace around her neck. She’d always been so kind to you before, even let you borrow a designer purse of hers for one of your first Hampton charity auctions. Even now, you’re holding onto a small soft spot for the ditzy matriarch of their family.
“Mrs. Jung,” you accept her hug and air kiss. “It’s lovely to see you.”
She waves her hands in the air as she giggles, “Mrs. Jung, you are so funny. You’re old enough to call me Stephanie now.”
“Get lost, Stephanie,” Jaehyun callously bites out, and though he’s somehow grown up into this lewdly flirtatious young man, he still holds the same disdain for his stepmother that he always has.
Though you kind of understand that, this gives you leverage.
“Don’t be rude,” you chide him primly, then take Stephanie’s hand with yours. “Thanks for coming tonight. I love your dress.”
“I can’t believe it’s been so long since we’ve seen you both,” she’s pleased as punch to chirp away happily to you, even with Jaehyun’s frosty glare into her back. “It’s really no surprise that you’re flourishing at Harvard.”
She gives you the same compliment her husband had earlier, but it sounds much more sincere coming from her.
“Thank you. I love it there.”
“Are there any Harvard boys who will have to deal with meeting your father?” She asks slyly, and this is just her, wanting to be young again and get all the gossip.
“Frigid bitch,” Jaehyun coughs under his breath, and your teeth grind. He really is such a dick. At least this time he has the balls to use the proper swear word.
Stephanie doesn’t catch his subtle insult, “What did you say, Jaehyun?”
If he’s trying to play this lowball game, he has no idea what’s coming for him, the exact way you can curse him out in an extravagantly public manner. There’s a reason why you’re the president of your speech and debate club, you can go toe to toe with the fiercest of anyone and come out on top.
“Y/n, can you come here so we can take a picture?” Your father interrupts, then catches a glimpse of Stephanie out in the hallway with you. He inclines his head towards her, “Oh. Hello.”
She smiles prettily, bowing her head back in return, “Hello, Governor.”
“I’ll be right there, papa,” you call back at him, then you squeeze the other woman’s hand one more time. “It was really nice to see you, Stephanie.”
“You too, y/n! Hopefully we can all meet up in Boston sometime,” she offers, and you nod at her though you have no intention of taking up her offer.
As you leave, you dip your voice so low that only Jaehyun can hear. But you definitely make sure to put enough emphasis on how you’ve properly modified his nickname to fit the new him.
“Cocky fucker.”
Then, you proceed to avoid him for the rest of the party. It’s way easier than you expect, because everyone and their mom seems to want to talk to you. There’s something to be said about how your flirting with the other young men there somehow always draws Jaehyun’s attention.
Your point proven, you’re casually watching him watch you from across the room when someone calls your name, “Y/n!”
You whirl around to see Mr. Lee’s right hand man in front of you. “Henry? I didn’t realize you would be here.”
You haven’t been around to S&L in some time, but it’s nice to see that Henry is still working with your father and Mark’s dad. He’d been involved in your father’s business affairs since his first campaign for governor. You’d always found him handsome, even if he was fifteen years or so older than you, and now is no exception, in his embroidered Hawaiian beach shirt and white jeans.
“I came here to celebrate your brother, but I suppose it’s you that should be celebrated,” he compliments you coolly, raising his glass to you in a salute. “College has done you well.”
That’s new. You suppose Henry feels comfortable enough to comment on your appearance now that you’re a college woman and not just his boss’s high school aged daughter. Though you’ll never seriously contemplate going after him, let alone crushing on him, you can’t lie and say it doesn’t make you feel flattered as hell. He’s probably the second most handsome man in this room, anyways.
You glance around, hoping that your dad isn’t close enough to hear his employee bantering with you, and your eyes land right on Jaehyun. He’s bent over the pool table, contemplating a move with his cue, but you pick up the exact way he’s observing you in his periphery, trying to figure out who exactly you’re talking to.
You want to test your observation out, so you place a casual hand on Henry’s forearm, and let out a fake, affected giggle, “Oh, you’re too kind.”
There’s no reason for Jaehyun’s jaw to visibly grind, as if on cue, but it does, and that brings you a kind of satisfaction you’re not sure how to name.
Feels good, though.
—
“Remind me again why we have to leave tonight?” Minnie asks, just as you turn yourself over on your towel.
You normally wouldn’t take the liberty of tanning, but it’s in the sixties and rainy in Boston and you have to take advantage of the little sun that you can get in your last few hours here. And fuck it, you look good in your bikini.
“I mean, you can stay here,” you offer. “But I have to go back.”
“You can’t leave me here alone!”
You glance over to where the guys are tossing around a football in the sand and you mutter into the ocean wind, “I’d thought you want to stay and hang with Jaehyun, or whatever.”
"No,” she bites out. “We definitely hate him.”
You turn your head to look at her, to really register her deep frown and disapproving glare at the boy, and can’t help but feel so confused at everything that’s going on. She’d hated him at the beginning of the party yesterday, had ended up in the throes of flirting by the champagne toast, and then he’d decided to spend the rest of the evening pushing at your very irritable buttons.
“Okay, you’re going to have to decide one way or another, because you spent half the night flirting with him yesterday,” you don’t miss the way the blush starts to color at her cheeks despite her mouth saying otherwise.
In the game, Jaehyun makes this spectacularly leaping catch of the football and whips off his white cotton shirt in celebration. The flush only deepens on Minnie’s face as your nose wrinkles in annoyance at his sculpted frame.
But you’re proud of her when she says, “Ugh, I take it back, he left the party with Krystal yesterday.”
That’s a tendril of silky disappointment that you didn’t expect to feel just then. It’s probably expected, for Jaehyun to leave all social events with a beautiful new woman on his arm. But leaving your house with the mayor of the Hamptons’ daughter? That, now that is prickly and annoying. Luckily, Krystal hadn’t shown up with him at the beach this morning.
“He’s so fucking weird,” you grumble, his new persona still an enigma to you. “He kept trying to find out if I’ve hooked up with anyone at Harvard.”
“That is weird,” Minnie hums in agreement. “But he knows everything about everyone at Georgetown, so I don’t think it’s that surprising he’s being nosy about you.”
“Have you said anything to him?”
“You’ve never come up.”
“Good. Keep it that way.” There’s no reason why Jaehyun should know any personal business about you.
“I still don’t understand why you hate him so much.” You give her a pointed look and she quickly amends her statement to include, “I mean beyond the girl code hate that I am definitely sticking to.”
“Feel lucky that your family doesn’t have insane political rivals.” That’s another ribbon of sadness to tie in with the disappointment. It might’ve been nice to have a friend in this crazy world, just one. “I just, I don’t want to get into all of it. I’m better off leaving him as a person that just exists in my periphery.”
“Leaving who as what?” Mark goes skidding into the towel you’ve laid out for him, snatching the sunscreen from your hand as he eats his sandwich.
“Nothing. Don’t worry about it,” you don’t want this conversation to go on any further. You wipe a dab of sunscreen off his nose and ask, “You still coming back with us tonight?”
Both of you start your senior-level political science summer class tomorrow, but you’re not sure if he’s inclined to play hooky with the friends he doesn’t see that often.
“Yeah,” Mark nods. “Is it weird to say I miss Boston?”
You think of the little townhouse on the river you’ll be moving to in the fall and wish that you were there right now. “No. I miss it, too. Are you going to go out to SF this summer, then?”
“Yup, I’m planning on going for Fourth of July, since you’re going to Miami that weekend,” he shows you the scheduled trip on his phone, complete with a picture of him and Haechan in front of the Washington Monument.
“Ugh, being in California with you two honestly sounds better than doing stuff for PR with the governors’ association.”
“At least you guys have fun summers planned,” Minnie mumbles. “I’m stuck at home with my parents in Newton because my internship with Prada's PR team fell through at the last minute.”
You throw your arm around her despondent figure and you know you have the perfect remedy for her summertime blues. “Don’t worry, I’ll bring you to all the summer ragers. I do happen to know some nice Harvard guys.”
“Hey, Lee!” Johnny calls over to where you’re sitting. “We need you for three on three!”
Mark sticks his bandaged leg in the air, an unfortunate incident he’d suffered in his last club lacrosse game of the year. “I can’t! Ankle, remember?”
“Y’all wanna forfeit?” Jaehyun laughs, crossing his arms over his chest in a gross display of his bulky arms. He needs to be put into place.
“No, ask my sister. Ask her,” you can read Johnny’s lips even from your spot by the umbrella. “I swear to god, just ask her.”
Taeyong looks at him skeptically, but Johnny only nods emphatically. Taeyong then comes jogging over and smiles quite sweetly at you as he kneels in the sand and asks, “Y/n, want to be our third?”
You put the sunglasses over your eyes. “Not particularly.”
“We’re betting this round, I’m sure John will be fine if you pick our bet.”
You look back over at where Jaehyun’s laughing, head thrown back with abandon as Doyoung and Taeil trash talk with him, and your eyes narrow.
“Alright, fine.”
“This will be funny,” Mark guffaws, knowing what’s likely about to happen. “Let me get Chan on the phone.”
He scoots over to get a better view of the match, and you can hear Haechan’s scream over Facetime as you put on a t-shirt on top of your purple swimsuit, and go up to the small crowd of guys.
You clap your hands together. “Alright, who am I betting against?”
“Me,” Jaehyun answers. Perfect.
“You’re good with anything that I want, you sure?” You look to Taeyong and your brother, and they both shrug, telling you to go ahead.
Jaehyun smirks, then lays the bet right on you, “If we win, you have to tell me about the boys at Harvard.” What is his fucking fascination with your personal life, god damn?!
You glance back at your friend, too far away to be anything but oblivious to your conversation, but you’re going to do the dirty work for her. You don’t hesitate for a second before snapping back, “And if we win, you have to apologize to Minnie.”
“Apologize for what?” He protests, and you wonder if he’s being willfully ignorant or just incredibly not self aware.
“You want me to say it out loud in front of your bros?” You look around at all of the other guys, who are solidly intrigued with this back and forth. Jaehyun doesn’t respond, so you let it loose, “For being a slimy fucking user who thinks he can sleep with anyone.”
OHHH, Doyoung and Taeil cry in unison, like what you’ve said is the most hilarious thing ever, and though Jaehyun’s lips purse for a second, he doesn’t seem that fazed by you.
“If that’s what you think I am, that’s what I am,” he shrugs, then the three of them huddle up to discuss strategy.
“The old classic?” Johnny inquires, as soon as the three of you have done the same.
You wink at him. “You know it.”
Taeyong looks back and forth between you two, totally confused as to what you’re discussing, “What are you guys planning?”
“Don’t worry about it, just block for us,” Johnny orders him. “Block all three of them if you need to.”
Taeyong nods, as Taeil reminds you all, “Remember, whoever crosses the end zone first wins.”
Oh, these poor fools. This game is already over.
The other guys start with the ball first, by virtue of some rule you don’t know, and then they’re off. Doyoung pitches the ball to Taeil, who easily sidesteps Taeyong’s advances and makes it halfway down the marked pitch of sand. You’re covering Jaehyun, getting incredibly into his personal space as he tries to push you away from him, not even having enough time to really think about just how close you are to his bare torso.
Johnny manages to catch Taeil around the waist, but before the other guy can go down, he tosses the ball in your direction. Jaehyun shoves you out of the way particularly hard, you stumble in the sand, and that gives him enough time to reach out and catch the ball, taking off towards where they’ve outlined the makeshift end zone.
You can’t let him end the game just like this, so you give chase after him, quickly catching up and wrestling with him for the football. He tries to keep it tucked away from your grasp, holding his long arm out so you can’t bear hug him, but you reach around his other side and wildly swing your fist. You do it once, twice, and finally your hand comes into contact with the leather.
“Loose ball!” Johnny screams, and you dive for it without even really seeing the flash of brown.
Jaehyun’s weight is above you as he scrambles for the ball as well, Johnny’s there and Taeil too and finally you hear Taeyong’s triumphant scream,
“I got it!”
You smack Jaehyun out of your way, staggering to your feet to catch Taeyong tossing the ball to Johnny. This is just what the two of you planned, the exact mirror of all those fall days you played football in the backyard. After all, without a brother, how else was Johnny supposed to practice for high school tryouts?
“1287 special!” Johnny yells as he dodges a charging Doyoung, and you know just what to do.
You sprint as fast as you can down the sand, you have to make sure you’re within range of the end zone before you can afford to turn your head back. Taeyong literally throws himself in front of Taeil so he can’t touch you, and you have only a few more steps to go before you’re by the driftwood mark-off. You look back just as Johnny throws a perfect, tight spiral, and you step to leap past Jaehyun, who’s appeared out of nowhere. You time it exactly right, so his head isn’t turned quite yet, and that allows you to catch the ball neatly in your arms and land with a tumble in the end zone.
You straighten up with your arms held above you in victory, and Jaehyun is standing in front of you with his mouth wide open.
“Go y/n!” Minnie screams, waving her fist in the air.
“Yaaaaaaaaas!” Mark hollers in unison with Haechan on the phone.
“It’s already over?” Doyoung huffs, putting his hands on his knees as he and Taeil pant.
Johnny runs over, smacking his hand into yours so you can do the old handshake that’s like second nature to you.
“Don’t have to be shady,” Johnny bellows, and you toss him the football so he can spike it. You finish the chant with him, “Bow down to Gronk and Brady!”
“Your sister is good at football,” Taeyong marvels as he slaps your brother’s hand in a high five.
Johnny tugs at your ear before he pulls you into a hug and brags, “My sister’s good at everything.”
“How did that even happen,” Jaehyun whispers under his breath, like he can’t believe you actually beat him.
“It helps to only have a brother,” you breeze, then you stick out your hand to him. “Pay up, cocky fucker.”
Though his face doesn’t do anything noticeable, you do see the way his fist clenches at his side, the pearl bracelet there glittering as it catches the sun. Jaehyun stalks past you, beelining right to where Minnie is clapping for you on her towel, and you jog to catch up so you won’t miss this.
“Minnie, I’m very sorry for what I did and how I acted towards you,” he sounds contrite as he apologizes, you suppose, but you doubt that he even really cares. Especially with the way he fixes you with a defiant gaze as soon as he’s done saying it.
“Oh,” Minnie goes pink in surprise as Mark giggles beside her. “That’s okay, Jae.”
She looks over to you, and you raise your eyebrows like you’re welcome. Hopefully that clears the air between the two of them for good and Minnie can peacefully move on. If she’s moved on, there’s no reason for Jaehyun to make a reappearance in your life moving forward.
“Last one to the ocean is a pussy!” Johnny announces, and takes off right to the water sin a crazed run.
Mark pulls Minnie up from the towel, the two of them shrieking in delight as they take off after your brother and his friends, leaving you and Jaehyun by the towels.
“Satisfied, frigid bitch?” Jaehyun gripes, rubbing at the back of his head with his head, sending his golden hair into a cascade of frenzy.
You put your hands on your hips, able to call him out now that you’re alone, “Did you mean it?”
“Seagull,” he points out blandly, and you duck to your side with a yelp to avoid the diving bird. You cower behind Jaehyun as the bird roots through the remnants of Mark’s sandwich, pulls out a tomato, and flies away.
You stand back up, a little embarrassed at your reaction, and mutter, “Thanks.”
“Are you coming out with us tonight?” Jaehyun changes the subject, though you’re not that easily fooled, you’ll let him have this one.
You shake your head. “Absolutely not.”
“Itching to get away that badly?”
“Mark and I are driving back to Boston, thank you very much.” You grab your towel to wipe some of the sand off of your legs, then curtly continue, “only came down for the weekend. Can’t really stand this place, even more than you.”
Now that you’ve had your time to form an adult opinion about the place, you really don’t want to come back to the Hamptons. It’s too classist, too elitist, and you never really feel like you have a good enough time here. Thus, that makes it an apt comparison to Jaehyun, who you really don’t feel like you want to spend any more time with.
You think you’re just continuing the ribbing that’s been going on for the past couple days, and expect him to snap at you in return, and instead his voice goes a little quiet, “What is your problem with me?”
Your comment hadn’t been particularly heinous, but his amber eyes are watercolored in hurt, like you’d stabbed deep at him with it. That only serves to make you madder.
“What is my problem with you, what is your problem with me?! I’ve never done anything to you.”
His fist is clenched again as he retorts, “You definitely have.”
“Oh yeah, like what?” You challenge him, wanting to know just exactly what you’ve done to earn his ire.
He hesitates for a second, clearly searching for something he can’t find, and all he can muster is, “Like, like being a Suh.”
His dig at your family name is way too far. Being a Suh is your pride and joy, it’s the name you share with your brother and father, it’s what you’ll have on your drivers license for the rest of your life. Your husband will just have to deal with the fact that you won’t change your name.
“Johnny’s a Suh too and you have no problem with him,” you bite back icily.
Jaehyun shakes his head, “I just, I just can’t bring myself to care about someone who holds values that are so fundamentally different to mine.”
You know that your fathers have differing political platforms, but it’s not like you’re Ivanka Trump or something. You don’t think your values are wildly out of touch.
“So you can’t care about me, but you can care about who I’m fucking at school, right?” You practically spit, now that he has incensed your anger to this degree.
Jaehyun actually has the sense to look embarrassed then, the crude way you’ve framed his questioning making it more obvious to him that he’s really been bothering you.
You sigh deeply, “And you wonder why I have a problem with you. You always treated me poorly, excluded me from family time with my sibling just because I was a girl. And I get that, we were kids then. But now? We haven’t seen each other in years, yet you don’t see me getting up in your business, acting really shitty like you’ve been to me both days this weekend? I don’t do those things to you. I don’t.”
You’d only acted towards him with perfunctory disdain out of your loyalty to Minnie, and had been perfectly prepared to just ignore him all night without trading any of the barbs you did. Without her backstory, you would’ve even treated him with the vapid politeness you’d reserved for his father. You may have even ventured to say that your annoyance with him the previous night may have been a little irrational and misguided.
But he’s just blown you completely away with his callousness.
You’re unleashing it all now, how you’d hated the way he would keep Johnny away from you, how he’d look down upon you whenever you happened to cross paths in the city, how he and his family bashed yours during the election.
“You were the one who called me cocky bastard first last night,” he points out, like you’ve somehow caused all of this. “You had no idea whether or not I was going to be different.”
You bite your teeth as you apologize, though you don’t feel particularly sorry, “I’m sorry for that, really. But it’s obvious you’ve earned your nickname and I haven’t done a thing to earn mine.”
“You’re being hypocr—,” he starts, but there’s no stopping you now.
“So, just like you can’t stand that I’m a Suh, I cannot tolerate the fact that you’re a Jung. Sometimes I feel bad for Stephanie. Really, I do.”
This is a targeted attack, one that’s designed to hurt him as much as he’s hurt you, and you can tell that it does by the way that the crinkles by his eyes flash in anxiety, the way he fidgets with the waist of his swim trunks when he can’t find something to do with his hands. If he’s going to target your identity, you’re going to do the same, because he’s the one person you hope you’ll never be like.
So, yes, the relationship between the two of you had been practically nonexistent before this moment for a tsunami of reasons, but it’s only taken these two days to completely torpedo it.
You stare down Jaehyun Jung, the man you’re sure you will never, ever be worthy of you or your time in any way, and you speak the harsh truth,
“I doubt I’ll come back to the Hamptons, which is great, because I keep running into you here and you always seem to ruin it for me. But you ever see me in Boston, don’t even dare to do anything but look. That’s all you’ll be able to get from me ever again.”
The roar of the ocean waves crashing is your fanfare to exit, leaving behind a stunned and silent Jaehyun.
Later, Mark brings it up on the ferry back to Connecticut.
He must see the tense way you grip the steering wheel of your car even though you’re not driving. “You seem off.”
You let out a breath you didn’t realize you were holding, “That, that just wasn’t my idea of a fun weekend.”
“Want to talk about why you left the beach early?” He starts tentatively, finally asking the question that had been written all over his face when he came back to the house after you’d run inside.
“Mark…”
“Are you annoyed that Minnie decided to stay behind?”
“No,” you answer shortly.
“It seems like it,” Mark indicates, and he’s always been the one who knows you the best, even more than Johnny does.
You’re not sure how you’re going to answer him without bringing up everything that’s happened, everything that you don’t want to think about again. This has hurt you more than you want to admit. All those conversations and arguments and old visitors cut open a bunch of unhealed wounds. You know that Jaehyun isn’t a bad kid, not really, but it’s hard for you not to see him as one.
But like you said, Mark knows you, and you know exactly who he’s talking about when he says softly, “Okay, listen, I understand that there’s a lot of bad blood there, and rightfully so. Don’t think I’m taking his side, because I’ll always be on yours. But he’s not his father, just like you’re not yours.”
“I can only hope to be like my father,” you proclaim, thinking of all the good your father’s done the state, how accomplished and wonderful he is, how little you wanted to be just like him and current you still does, too.
Mark puts his hand over yours on the steering wheel. “You’re going to be so much more than him, I know it. But do you understand what I’m saying?”
He’s chastising you gently, for putting Jeffrey Sr.’s sins on Jaehyun, for not getting to know him as the adult he is now. For jumping to conclusions too quickly, for being too defensive. And you know you’ve somewhat been in the wrong. Now that you’re here, without the chaos surrounding you, you can objectively look at the situation and understand that.
“Yes, yes, Mark, I get it. It’s just so hard to dissociate him from his family and everything they mean. It’s easier to pretend he doesn’t exist.”
“And I respect that. You won’t hear about him from me when I go down to Georgetown this year,” he offers, and you’re grateful to him for that because you know Mark will definitely be spending time with Jaehyun this year.
However, his sentence trails off a bit too lightly, and you look over at him. “I’m getting a feeling that there’s a but in there.”
“But,” Mark parrots out instantly. “He’s one of my friends, and he’s one of your brother’s closest ones, too. It might help you some day to also become friends with him.”
You don’t think that you’ll ever get there after the way you shouted at him today, nor do you really want to. You can’t picture shooting the shit with him, or going on a road trip together like you and Mark do, or even just sitting with him in comfortable silence. But he’s right, your life would be multitudes less awkward if you could come to at least tolerate Jaehyun.
“I’ll think about it,” you relent darkly.
“Baby gorl……” Mark distorts his voice into his Gru impression, pleading with you, and you laugh, finally feeling a little bit okay about it all.
“I promise, I promise. I’ll think about not hating him this year.”
“Right. But summer is just starting, so you have time,” Mark teases, and then he turns up the volume on the radio so he can rap along to Drake.
You’re taking a shitload of hard classes next year, you’re going to be looking for jobs and contemplating your career and trying to maintain your social standing on campus. But you suppose, for Mark and for Johnny, you can find one or two days to contemplate being okay with Jaehyun’s presence in your life.
You have a feeling you won’t be able to keep him completely out of it, anyways.
tbc.