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The world was still.Right now the sun was shining it's warm rays, caressing Usagi’s skin lovingly as the gentle breeze kissed her skin with it’s cooling touch. The trees were lush and full and the flowers were in their prime, their rainbow colours in bloom around her and Mamoru like an ocean of beauty. It was a spectacular day, the perfect day for a picnic date. At least that’s what Usagi had insisted when she rang Makoto to ask for her help, her voice pouty and pleading down the phone.
“Usagi you know Rei’s going to roast you later.” Makoto had said after Usagi had filled her in on her cunning date plans which would include skipping out of the planned group study session they had already planned.
“Oh she’s just a meany pants.” Usagi had explained, sticking her tongue out at the imaginary phantom image of the raven haired girl.
“She’ll get over it Makoto and beside you know Rei enjoys scalding me and she hasn’t had a chance since we got back to normal, so really if you think about it logically I’m doing her a favour as well.” Usagi had reasoned, although she was already dreading the fiery wrath she’d soon experience once Rei finally got a hold of her. Usagi had sighed, reminding herself that it would be worth it that today was too good of a day to waste on studying.
“Oh Usagi you are terrible.” Makoto had laughed, breaking Usagi from her thoughts and bringing her back into focus and the task at hand.
“Alright Miss Moon give me an hour and I'll have your goodie bag ready for collection.” Makoto sighed, giving in like she knew she would the moment Usagi and called her. Usagi gave a squeal of delight so loud down the phone that Makoto had to pull the receiver back from her ear.
“Thanks Makoto, you’re the best.”
After collecting the basket from Makoto and giving the girl a giant hug in thanks, promising to repay her somehow, unaware that for Makoto she already had by just being her, Usagi had set off to Mamoru’s.
“But I thought today was you and the girls study day?” Mamoru had proclaimed. Having just come back from his morning run, his skin was still slick with sweat as he leaned up against the door frame. Usagi had to take several deep breaths when she had first seen him in order to stop the rosy blush from creeping up her whole face and turning it bright red.
“Umm well yeah technically.” Usagi had blushed, raising her free hand to scratch nervously at the back of her head.
“Does Luna know you're ditching them?” Mamoru had quipped, eyebrows raised in mock disapproval, the slight twitch to his mouth had let her know he was only teasing. He was already eyeing up the basket of goodies Usagi had.
“Makoto will let them know and besides have you seen it out there.” Usagi had gestured to the outside world that you could see from the giant window from Mamoru’s apartment.
“It’s perfect weather for a picnic date, it would be an insult to spend it locked inside studying.” Usagi reasoned, her voice a mixture of persuasion and pleading.
“You could always study outside.” Mamoru had reasoned a glint of humour in his eyes as he’d spoken. Usagi had scrunched up her nose in disgust at the idea. Laughing at her expression, the sound coming deep from his chest Mamoru had taken the basket from her hands and placed it inside the apartment beside the door. The sound of his laughter had caused Usagi to break face but when she watched him take the basket of food she couldn't stop the bright smile that took its place.
“Studying is important though Usako.” Mamoru rebuffed, feeling the need to ensure he wasn’t leading her astray. Usagi ducking her head a little at his words had tried to not be discouraged as she once more looked up into his blue eyes pleading.
“I know Mamo-chan and I promise I will try and do more of it but Mamo-chan is studying really more important than love?” Usagi had said it with all the sincerity and innocence she possessed. Mamoru had sighed in complete defeat then, though in truth he had been more than happy to let her win this one.
“Alright dumpling head you win, let me have a shower first and I’m all yours.” Mamoru had chuckled loudly as Usagi had given a little jump of joy, fist pumping the air. Shaking his head with fondness Mamoru had reached out and grabbed around her free wrist, gently pulling her inside the apartment.
That had been a few hours ago, now they were happily laid out on a blanket, under the shade of a tree. Usagi's head was resting on Mamoru’s stomach as he read another one of those what Usagi called sophisticated intellectual books. The kind whose title alone caused an immediate headache to begin in her brain.
There was a quiet calmness about the day that Usagi hadn’t experienced for quite some time. Not since the battle with the dark phantom and the departure of Chibiusa . Despite herself Usagi found that she rather missed the little brat, certainly more than she’d like to admit. The house felt empty without that pink haired mischief making havoc with life. Sure, things were peaceful and Usagi was certainly glad that her friends were no longer in danger but she still missed the domestic chaos of having Chibiusa around . She missed the way Chibiusa would steal all her comics and leave them scattered all over her room and the arguments about who got to have the last cookie.
Mostly though she missed the way Chibiusa would always sneak into her room late at night, creeping under the covers and tucking herself into her side. Usagi had always pretended to be asleep, that she was only allowing it because she was unconscious. Chibiusa had always sighed so deeply, so content when Usagi in mock sleep had placed her arm around her small body and pulled her into her. She thinks, looking back Chibiusa must have know she was awake. There’d been tan unspoken agreement between the two of them not to pop the moment with what would have resulted in another bickering match. Yeah she sure did miss the little squirt.
On the other hand if she’d been here now she’d have no doubt soiled the whole thing. Hogging Mamoru all to herself. Usagi certainly didn’t miss having to compete with her for quality time with Mamo-chan. She didn’t miss how they fought over his affections. Which deep down she knew was silly. It was idiotic that they ever fought over him, especially seeing as Chibiusa was hers and Mamoru’s daughter.
Daughter. Mother. Usagi still couldn’t quite process that information. Being a mother hadn’t been a conscious part of her plans, maybe in the deepest part of her mind Usagi had sort of knew she would one day enter motherhood but honestly she’d never seriously thought about having children.
A wedding? Absolutely that had been a regular fantasy, but children ? No way. Perhaps it was because she still felt like such a baby herself or more precisely she just liked having the sole attention of Mamoru’s affections. Sharing Mamoru, someone who held her soul as well as her heart, in such a profane way with another person was a prospect Usagi didn’t like to think of.
She could already hear the phantom voice of Ami in the back of her mind telling her that jealousy of one's own child is in fact not that uncommon amongst couples due to the major changes children bring to a relationship and that she could recommend several great psychology books to Usagi on the subject. Whilst Rei rolled her eyes remarking how this immaturity was further proof they were all fools to follow her leadership and that there clearly had to be a mix up because surely Usagi couldn’t be Neo-Queen Serenity.
“Shut up Rei.” Usagi muttered under the breath.
“Huh?” Mamoru queried, lifting his head out from his book and glancing down at her.
“Oh,nothing I was just….” Usagi blushed. She hesitated for a second before deciding to just spit it out and speak her mind. She was never good at hiding her feelings and this had been toying with her since they’d returned home.
“Do you think it’s a mistake?” She asked, fingers twirling round her hair nervously.
“What's a mistake?” Mamoru replied, his attention half returned to his book.
“That I’m really going to become Neo-Queen Serenity. That we’re the same person.” She covered her face with her hands as soon as she spoke, already regretting the words. She was being foolish and she knew.
Usagi sensed more than saw Mamoru place the book down next to him, her hands were still covering her face. Sitting up he gently repositioned himself so that he was sitting upright and Usagi’s head slipped down onto his lap. Usagi kept her face covered, embarrassed by her foolishness.
“No Usako, I know it’s not a mistake?” He said it so softly reaching down to run a hand through her hair softly that Usagi dared to peek through her fingers, glancing up at him. His eyes were gentle, full of kindness.
“Really?” she asked, letting her hands fall back to her side.
“Yes I’m sure.” Mamoru said, rolling his eyes in gentle exasperation. “I’m not marrying anyone but you.”
Usagi felt her heart swell with warmth. Reassured she sat upright and reached into the basket beside them pulling out the last chocolate chip cookie. She had a moment to relish in the fact that this time Chibiusa wasn’t here to try and steal it from her before she took a bite. The sweet sensation filled her body with comforting sugary goodness.
“You’re right Mamo-chan, I’m being silly.” she agreed,speaking with a mouthful of cookie. Mamoru tilted his head, as he studied Usagi in deep concentration. Usagi was so wrapped up in the chocolate treat she didn't notice his intense gaze. Her attention, however, was soon reverted when Mamoru spoke.
“Why do you think it wouldn't be you?” Mamoru asked, genuinely interested and puzzled at the same time.
“Umm, well I mean, I know it is me.” Usagi began wiping away the crumbs from around her mouth. “but it’s just that she seems nothing like me. Neo-Queen Serenity is so glamorous and regal and put together whilst i’m…” she gestured down at herself and shrugged. “ I’m just a big ball of chaos aren’t I?”
“You sure are dumpling-head.” Mamoru chuckled, tugging playfully on one trail of hair coming off her Odongo . “But I don’t understand why you think that means you're different from her.”
“Because, she didn’t exactly look like a woman who reads comics and plays videos games for hours on end or enjoys obsessing over the latest crazes and skips out on studying to spend time with her Mamo-chan and well it might be silly but I don’t want to lose those parts of myself. I like me.”
“Yeah I kind of like you too.” Mamoru teased, bopping her nose with the tip of his finger.
“And you're already so like Endymion that…” Usagi began.
“Am I?” Mamoru snorted, cutting Usagi off mid sentence. She looked at him in confusion, eyebrows knitted together.
“You don’t think so?” She asked, surprised.
“Definitely not. I think you give me more credit than I deserve.” Mamoru sighed, leaning back on his forearms and looking up towards the sky.
“But Mamo-chan you’re so…” unable to find the right word Usagi gestured helplessly at him as if that in itself would explain everything. Mamoru quirked an eyebrow at her, running a hand through his hair.
“Yeah well maybe fourteen years of living as an orphan with no memories of my past made a good foundation for that cool and collected persona, but that’s all it is. Inside I’m a nervous wreck half the time. I worry in ways I can’t control. I worry about you, about the past we shared in another lifetime, the future we’re now supposed to build, the present and how they all fit together. Endymion was always so sure, is certain of his actions and I am definitely not like that, not yet.”
“Mamor-chan” Usagi whispered, finding a solace in the knowledge of his own doubts. Reaching out she brushed some stray hair out of his eyes, catching her hand Mamoru pressed her palm into his lips gently, before a mischievous glint appeared in his eyes, ones that reminded Usagi oddly of Chibiusa.
“Also I think you’ve forgotten how much of a jerk I used to be or do you not remember how we first met.” With a smirk Mamoru pulled out some shades from the inside of his jacket and put them on. “30 percent, better study harder, dumpling head.”
“You’re not like that.” Usagi laughed, pushing at his shoulders playfully.
“Maybe I don't act that way anymore but I’m still the same guy Usagi, it’s just that being with you and regaining my memories has changed me. Things that never sat right suddenly found their place and it meant I could settle a bit. I didn’t need those barriers anymore but I can still struggle with them which means sometimes I’m not as overly affectionate with you as you are with me, but I’m working on that. ” He ended his speech with a wink, making Usagi blush.
“I’ve guess I’ve changed since we first met too.” Usagi said after a brief moment of comfortable silent reflection.
“Uh huh.” he agreed, eyes twinkling with the layers of affection he had for her in all her forms.
“Maybe that’s what’ll be like when I become Neo-Queen Serenity” Usagi mused.
“Everything inside of me will just find it's the right place and I’ll transform just like a butterfly.” She excluded on a giggle, waving her hands out in front of her pointing to a butterfly that had landed on a flower not far from them. Mamoru smiled and pressed another kiss into her hand. Usagi lips turned upwards into a bright smile before she pulled back and looked at him, eyebrows knitted together in seriousness.
“But just so you know Mamo-chan, no matter what transformation I go through I’m never giving Chibiusa the last cookie without a fight!”