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I thought I saw the devil
This morning
Looking in the mirror, drop of rum on my tongue
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It was my duty, my life and all that I've done since I was born. My life was never mine to decide, brothers who looked exactly like me stood by my side, people I trusted completely.
Created for one purpose and one purpose only, infinite battles since I was still young.
The days were endless and the nights tormented, nightmares were filling our minds constantly, but we never cared, we had a war to win.
There were times when everything seemed lost, when we felt alone and without a real purpose.
What about us when all this ends?
What about my life?
What about what I want? What we all want?
Freedom was never an option when we were born, most people considered us monsters or at worst a property, not living creatures but a weapon to use.
I've done horrible things to follow my loyalty towards my generals. Loyalty was everything to me.
Grace is just a weakness
Or so I've been told
I've been cold, I've been merciless
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Some of us were lucky enough to have someone to talk to, I had my vod until something else showed up into my life.
Something I never thought I could have, something slightly against the rules, but that started to give me hope for the future that was ahead of me.
This newfound joy became my light through my darkest times when things were going horribly, I knew I had something to hold on to.
It was easy, and everything seemed almost reassuring and normal, for a while I was no longer a weapon, but a living and breathing human being, full of hopes and dreams.
We talked about leaving and putting the war behind us but, as beautiful as it was, I couldn't do that to my captain and my brothers.
I was lucky, I had someone to come back to, something to live for, something that made me feel how I've wanted to feel for a long time.
Now, as the war rages on, I wish every day that all this would end as soon as possible just because a new future awaits me, a future where I have a family, a future where I am loved for who I am…
I'll be good, I'll be good
And I'll love the world like I should
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If only the war would end.
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